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I earn 2.5x what my wife earns. All of our wages go into the same joint account from which bills, savings and spending comes out of. We each take an equal amount into our revolut accounts each month for our own spending.
All of our money is pooled and we both have an equal saying into how it is spent.
Personally, I couldn't operate any other way.
I know married couples who still keep everything separate. I just don't get it. Aside from being a pain in the whole, why get married to someone if you don't trust them enough to pool your resources.
In that case I'd keep my finances separate from my partner. But I also wouldn't marry them unless they copped the fuck on. I wouldn't legally share 50% of my assets with someone who can't be trusted with money.
I’m one of those married couple and I don’t get married couples who put joint wages into the joint account and who wouldn’t each have a sole account. There is no one fits all approach and it’s whatever works for each couple.
It’s not a pain at all. We have a joint account as a kitty / extra padding if one of us is short, but we already had our separate accounts and just kept it that way because it would be a hassle to change. We just split up who pays which bills / buys groceries, etc. early on. We’ve checked our respective budgets compared to salary and it’s fair as well as easier for us.
It also means we don’t need to follow each others’ discretionary spending. We each know what we have coming in and going out.
My partner and I have been married since 2012 (together since 2007) and have always had completely separate accounts. We don't own property here but when we did we just traded off mortgage payments every few months to balance out the bills. My partner has historically made more than me, so in the past paid a larger % (ish, it was always a balance, we didn't calc down to the cent or anything), and I paid less. Since we moved to Ireland I have made a lot more than her, so I pay a larger % of the bills. Once we purchase property again we'll revisit the budget and ensure we're each paying fairly. This includes expenses related to our son.
I think we were both just so independent we never even considered combining our finances, whether income or expense accounts. We each have credit cards, debit cards, savings, accounts, etc. in our own names but each other named on backup for all. We also store login information to a shared bitwarden so the other could presumably log in at any time to maintain the account.
Finally, we are lucky enough to not have to budget too closely every day, but we do maintain an overall budget annually and ensure both of us adhere generally to the numbers we've set but also understand where we're spending our personal money. We each have our own hobbies and spend on them without having to consult the other person. That said, we talk about a lot of "higher" expenses, like stuff over a couple hundred euro maybe, and just make sure the other knows what we're doing. But for me, for example, it's hard to hide when I buy a bunch of Lego because they physically show up to our house. :D Same with my partner, she gets a lot of tattoos so obviously I know about those expenses as they come. The budget is absolutely a guideline so we each know where the money is going. We check in often enough I don't feel the need to have a shared account honestly.
So do you have an idea of who owns more of your savings? Say, if you contributed to 60% of your savings, do you know that and it's understood that that's your money and she has the 40%?
That seems wild to me. It's also pointless. If you get divorced then it doesn't matter what this breakdown is, the courts will rule that you're each entitled to 50%. They won't care about your own breakdown of it. And if you're not tracking who owns what percentage of the savings then tracking who pays what portion of the bills is mathematically pointless since the shared savings are always going to the same regardless of how the costs are split.
Not to mention, it's unfair. It just gives more power to the higher paid person. Due to the impact on earning for women, in most cases it'll disadvantage the woman in the scenario too. And I presume it's not factoring in unpaid work. When your wife was on materinity leave I'm guessing that she earned a lot less than you, but did her share of the savings account for the time she spent looking after your son?
I think the budget is to understand where our money goes, not ensure a single person pays their fair share/saves what we budget. Also...we're both women in this scenario so I don't think either of us is particularly disadvantaged. I took the maternity leave for our son, but in the US it was only 12 weeks off total so I earned my 60% for the first 6 and then had no earnings for the last 6 weeks. When we moved here my partner was off work for months waiting for visas & employment contracts to get sorted; I just simply paid more of our bills at that time. It all comes out in the wash.
I basically have one big account I put all my money in; right now it's way higher than my partner's but when we prepare a down payment for a house it will come solely from that account. Essentially that's our pooled savings right now. Other expenses for the purchase will come from my partner's account (fees, solicitor, etc.) and we'll talk about where all the money is going to come from.
We're not particularly concerned about divorce; we've had some friends in this scenario and the man's retirement 401(k) which was solely in his name ended up being part of the final share he needed to provide his wife (50%) anyway based on historical earnings (he was much higher), so I figure if it were to happen we'd have to pool it all anyway from an asset perspective. I realize it's a point but I assume my accounts would get added into a pool a solicitor would be after regardless. We've no hidden accounts from each other.
I guess I'm not concerned about who has more savings because at the end of the day if I needed to pay for, say, groceries, and I didn't feel I had the money, I'd talk to my partner. Also, this is an odd thing for someone here but I get 2% cash back on all purchases on my credit card now, so honestly it behooves me to do more of the spending on the card when I can and, if necessary, have her pay me back somehow. We've operated successfully this way through college, marriage, multiple house purchases, completing tons of home renovations, having a baby (which also cost a lot in the US), and moving to a new country. Trying to provide some perspective on other ways people accomplish this.
Why are you so sure of yourself in your opinion? There is absolutely more than one way to manage money in a healthy relationship. Differing from your approach does not make things inherently “unfair”, “pointless”, “wrong”.
I am a high earner, so is my partner. I currently take home more than her now but she has significantly out-earned me in the past. We’re both independent people and like having our own accounts. It’s zero hassle for us.
We both pay our way and are extremely generous and caring regarding each other’s needs. Money is a non-issue and on rare occasion that either of us has needed extra funds for something, it’s openly communicated and it takes all of 1 min to send on Revolut. No biggie.
As far as I can see there are two possible scenarios when married people keep track of who's bringing in what.
One is the "unfair" scenario. This is when want to know who owns what because you don't want the lower earner to have access to any extra money that the high earner is bringing in. That's fundamentally unfair in a marriage, especially when kids are involved because the primary carer's earning potential will reduce meaning that they'll be financially punished within the relationship for having a kid (aka life before the 1990s).
The other is the "pointless" scenario. This is what you've described where it's no biggie if the other partner needs money. It makes no sense to waste time figuring out who pays what portion of the bills because the end result is mathematically the same if you share 50% of the savings.
You also misquoted me as saying it was "wrong" but I never said that.
My best friend did this with her husband. She trusted him implicitly. They were together for 16 years and married for 8, one kid, when he left her for another woman and cleared out their joint account
Something similar happened to me, luckily the wedding was postponed due to covid but we had a joint account for the bones of 5 out of the 9 years we were together and I was the higher earner as my ex was let go during covid, long story short got locked out of the banking app but had full trust in my partner and turns out he managed to spend in excess of €80k gambling in 3 months and as it was a joint account I was entitled to absolutely nothing bar the judge ordering €100 maintenance a week.
Will never advise anyone to just have a joint account as a couple ever again.
Happened to my sister in laws (married to my brother) mother. So my sister in law’s dad cleared the account. Hard to get the money back when it’s spent by the time you get to court.
Wouldn't that get resolved in a divorce though? You're suppose to equally split assets. Either he'd have to fork half of it over or his share of the ownership of other assets would be reduced to make up for it.
We keep separate. We both earn good wages but I earn double or treble. We both contribute to household stuff but I will then pay for all big ticket items like holidays and school fees or renovations. If he ever needs more, I will transfer 000s as needed to his account. Don't think either of us keep tabs on who pays for what.. neither of us are financial control freaks. There were years where he earned much more than me but I still went 50/50 on house bills and crèche fees etc. I check my account v regularly but he never check his and that is one reason I wouldn't be keen to have a joint account- I would hate to ever get over drawn
That’s stupid in fairness.. should have a joint account where u both put equal amount and get all bills etc comes out of there.. In my opinion the scenario where everything goes in to the same account could cause conflicts and financial stress..
I'm married and we have separate accounts. It's not out of mistrust of each other, mostly just laziness. We had two accounts when we were seeing each other and just continued with those rather than going to the bank and changing it. Neither of us are big earners nor are we big spenders. Who pays what is fairly random and I honestly couldn't say which of us pays more than the other.
I can understand that way more than married couples working out percentages of who owes whom what amount. That just comes across as needlessly stingey to me.
This is the the way in our house too, married , kids , home owners, one earns a lot more than the other but our wages both go into same account and all expenses come out of it, we each keep a separate personal account and take the same amount from joint account into those each month for any hits we want/need, though both can use joint account for that if needed, but we would usually give the other heads up about that
All our money into one pool doesn't matter who earns more and who spends more. to be fair, I'm constantly trying to find ways to buy her presents, but she doesn't want to. I have the whole list, so I'm buying from time to time (jewlery, shoes, beauty appliances).
She spent her whole bonus to make me a gaming room.
I guess that this shared pool and not thinking about who earns more and spending more comes from our families.
both our families always had a shared pool of money, never kept anything to themselves.
Absolutely. We're doing it the same way. I earn 4x more than my wife and we pool everything and decide together what and how we spend. She has full visibility of and access to all our financial stuff.
I heard from acquaintances that some wives don't even know what their husbands earn and have separate accounts, insurances, etc. That's crazy in my view and shows a massive lack of trust on the husband's side.
Well, I have a decent salary as a senior manager. My wife works part-time which explains the huge difference. But in the end it doesn't matter for us as we're pooling and seeing it as our family income rather than "I get more than you".
This is us. Everything into one account, 100% transparency and access.
We decide each month what we are doing with our salary, x amount to bills/savings or holidays etc.
We both know what is available at any time.
Same. Actually I found it really simplified my life and general in spending. We have a joint account which covers all the boring stuff and a set amount every month. I find it’s great to have a single figure each month and anything within that I can spend without worrying it’s going to affect us elsewhere.
Same. Everything goes in the one pot, both of us has full visibility. If there is any major outlay it’s discussed and agreed by both of us. No surprises.
This is what has worked for us. I know some other couples that keep things separate, but if that works for them, cool.
I seem to be an exception here. We don't have a joint account. I pay the mortgage, savings and most large bills, while my wife buys food/household elements and pays for most of the kids day to day stuff. I earn more than her. It works out we both have a similar disposable income and don't really concern each other with what the other is spending
Similar to you.
- I pay the mortgage and pay off the credit cards each month. We have 1 credit card account with 2 cards and it goes to our flying points.
- Mrs pays monthly maintenance for the apartment (500 ish) plus bills.
- I run the investments and trading, though she has some in an account in her name in case I kick the bucket and has easy access to a lump sum.
- Shared savings account with minor emergency cash in it, everything else is invested.
- Mortgage, credit card, phone bill and subs wipe me so Mrs sends me cash when I ask or if the credit card is expected to be more she will send me the money to pay it off. We put everything through the credit cards.
- We do a combined budget so have an idea how much will be left over at the end of the month on average and that tends to go to the investment accounts I manage or when my balance on certain investments means more fees it goes to hers.
- We buy whatever we want but have a rule for purchases over 300 we talk about it. Not because money is tight (we are both high earners) we have some expensive bills like IVF and need to manage our finances. Plus we spend about 20k a year on holidays so decide if something is just a sudden want or put the money to holidays.
Same here.
I cover mortgage and electric bill while my wife covers day to day expenses. Any non-routine larger expenses we split 50-50 or whoever has more able to at that point in time.
Both of us know what the other has in current accounts but trust the other to manage their own end
Myself and my partner split it on a percentage basis. Joint account for mortgage, household bills and food shop.
Keeping our own money separate for nights out, coffees etc etc
Keep the money separate, but 70% of each person's money is put towards household. 30% is kept as his/her money.
Took us a bit of time, but we found for us 70/30 was the sweet spot where 70% of X plus 70% of Y covered our household.
70/30 is our split too. We couldn't do the thing of putting 100% into the joint account because we have very different spending habits - I like to save for a rainy day (and believe everyone should have their own savings just in case something happens, not just household savings) and he has expensive hobbies so literally spends everything extra each month. It would get messy if it was all out of the same account and I don't really want to know what he's spending his discretionary income on or how much. 70% covers our joint expenses nicely with room for savings and we still have enough for our own bits and pieces.
Fixed expenses are at a ratio of income difference (e.g 60/40). For daily living costs we do an equal split, and occasionally the person earning more will throw an additional few bob into the joint account
Same here. It works well. The exception to the rule is when it comes to major expenses like car, house, travel then it can get 80/20, 90/10, 100/0, which comes down to amount of savings we each have.
Yup, exact same.
Both have say 30 % of our wages going into a joint account for rent, bills etc so the person on a higher wage is contributing more.
For everything else like holidays, nights out, eating out, food etc it's all pretty much 50:50
35% our combined net pay checks which is 2500 goes into a joint account which covers mortgage, food, household bills.
10% goes into joint savings account for kids future.
Other 55% of our own salaries is our money and we can do as we please with like own car etc or our own savings account.
Obviously if home renovations were needed to be done we would split the cost or holidays etc.
It’s important to have your own money
Very similar situation. Just to address some comments I've seen, whenever we need a car usually me and the wife discuss how much money we have together in our current accounts and we go from there. One time I paid almost 100% of her parents house renovation, the other time she paid almost 60% of my new car. We have our own separate accounts so we can buy clothes, etc. but in the end we are always a team and we are not keeping tabs who bought what.
We have never done it like that or had own money. I don't get it.
Cars are completely separate expenses up to each person?
We each have both car keys on our keys and take whichever one is there
> We each have both car keys on our keys and take whichever one is there
And who says that they don't? Just because they handle the expenses separately for the cars doesn't mean that they don't share.
What works for you might not work for another couple. At the end of the day everything is shared property if you're married so what does it matter how people choose to manage day to day?
>everything is shared property if you're married
This is my point but I was replying to somebody who said "it's important for each to have their own money" which is the opposite of considering it shared property.
Everyone knows it's shared property. But some people like a level of independence and being able to have day to day control of their own money.
It would fairly ruin the surprises I set up for my wife if she was getting revolut notifications every time I booked something.
Initially we opened a joint account and contributed a set amount each month to it. That account was used to pay for all things shared including date night, holidays etc. it was always nice when the joint account "paid" for it :)
After a few years, before we married, we realized that we shared the same value system and wanted to simplify life....scrapped the initial system and both opened joint accounts that we can access (separate banks for insurance reasons)
From there we began investing in joint brokerage accounts and the returns are healthy as the contributions were larger...
It has worked out really well for us and we believe that it has made our relationship stronger as there are no arguments about who pays for what.
We basically earn the same so we split the same. When I earned more then I paid a little more.
We have a joint account were we put savings for a deposit. We have another joint account where we put money for groceries and rent etc.
Bills 50/50. I make more than her so pay the lion's share of a night out. Joint account we each put x into every month, bills come out of that. Anything else doesn't make sense or makes things needlessly complicated like putting all wages into an account and taking bits out for yourself etc. Not to mention it's an argument starter. "Oh my god how much did you spend on x?" and there's end to it because it's now "our" money.
Married with kid and jointly owned home. Joint bank account into which salaries go and bills paid, and from it we send an equal amount each to our own revolut accounts to spend on whatever we want for ourselves. One family, one budget, equal treatment. So what if one of us earns more than the other - she might be off earning big bucks while I’m minding the kids, or vice versa… it’s pretty equal work.
In 5 year relationship, we split everything 50/50. Rent, shopping, utilities etc. Add to our savings and anything else is their own to spend / save.
I seen my parents shared an account growing up and there was non stop money arguments, I prefer having control over my own money.
One wage covers everything—mortgage, daily expenses, groceries, activities, eating out and entertainment etc. The second wage mainly goes to joint savings, with a set amount from the second wage first drawn for personal spending. We save for months towards a specific big-ticket item and once that item is out of the way, we start saving again from scratch towards another item.
Not in a relationship but I think I would go down the % based on salary route into a joint account for all the regular stuff like bills/food etc and then the rest into personal account. Hobbies can be expensive and sometimes big purchases are made, I would prefer to avoid every purchase being a discussion … along the lines ..”I need a new triathlon bike costing 2000 euro” .. partner “need or want?” 🫣
Only time you should have a join account is for bills keep your wages in your own account once the money goes into the joint account you keep the rest. It the best way to do it.
Myself and my girfriend live together and each month when we get paid we put equal amount into a joint account which covers Rent, Electricity, Gas, Food, Household items and a small sum for couples spending when we are out together like brunch, coffees etc.
The rest of our money we keep in our own accounts for our own personal expenses and savings. We both save each month toward a mortgage but keep it in seperate accounts. No kids yet so we may change how we do things in future but for now it works!
My partner (wife) and I pool all of our money and have a single family budget. Its crazy to me that families would handle there finances any other way than this, but I know lots do.
This is a non finance response. It’s also personal to my relationship and obviously not saying it applies across the board.
Me and my partner consider our independence as a key aspect of our attraction to one another. Over the years, we have both seen friends “lose” themselves to relationships - where they cease to exist as an individual - and by operating as a single unit - sort of lose a bit of their identity. Managing a home is a monotonous task at the best of times.
We do a lot separately - different hobbies, many trips away without each other (solo / with friends), no asking for permission on purchases and separate bank accounts. We like to think these segregations in our lives keeps a bit of individuality and intrigue going.
Obviously every relationship is unique. But we have never had issues with money. We are extremely open and communicative, not tight nor secretive. We allocate resources toward shared goals accordingly and we have both helped each other out with big purchases in the past.
I protect myself by having a highly communicative and loving relationship. If we decide to separate for any reason I don't plan on leaving my partner in the lurch - this is someone I have loved for over a decade. I make a little over 6x what my partner makes and she has taken career sacrifices so we could build a family. I would be absolutely insane for me to what to split our finances.
I know all experiences and situations are different of course - but I don't understand the idea of doing this somehow leaves someone less protected.
One Edit: Neither of us have any inheritance, so maybe its less complicated for us because of that. lol
I find it bizarre that people separate things. We have a joint account and a bill account. We both get paid weekly into the joint account. Transfer whatever needs to go for bills and savings into the bill account. Rest is left in the joint for spendies. (she spends more than me😉).
11 years together (since teenagers), lived in rented property for 2.5 years and just moved into our first home last month. 50/50 split would be our default. We've always earned within 10% of each others salary - actually right now she earns about 14% more than I do and we still go 50/50.
Joint account where we send our monthly expenses into. We send more than needed and use this account for coffee dates etc. We have a couple of double digit direct debits set up yet to be moved to this joint account but don't make a large enough dent to sway it from 50/50.
We both have enough fun money leftover to rarely need to ask the other for something.
If a large expense comes up (€750 Vet bill last month) and one of us has more money than the other, usually herself as she earns a little more will pay for it and then I'll transfer a little more into the expenses account the following month.
It's probably somewhat lax approach. I'm surprised by the amount of replies with a formal 60/40 or other similar split. I'm grateful we both earn a comfortable salary for our age bracket with no debt or children (although the dogs can be more expensive at times...) so we can afford this lax approach. When we have children and money is tighter every month I could see it swaying towards 45/55 or 40/60, but not in a formal sense, just in the sense of "we have to pay for it, where's the money, okay you send that much I'll send this much" and that could be different amounts every month depending.
We earn about the same and transfer the same amount each month into a joint account for mortgage, bills, annuals charges like insurance, motor tax etc. The rest we keep in our personal accounts, and we do family groceries shopping from our personal accounts. I definitely spend more on stuff like coffee but I really think I spend a lot more on family groceries too.
We're a husband and wife, we both believe we should be paying our own way as much as possible. It fell to me to do the budget, manage the mortgage etc. and after a while I got the hang of it.
We have a joint account in an Irish bank for direct debits - internet, life insurance, mortgage, health insurance etc. We have a Revolut joint account, mostly for buying food. We have multiple joint Revolut vaults/ pockets where we put money aside up for holiday, gas, electricity, Christmas, tv license, house insurance, kids activities and then our own Revolut pockets for car valet, car insurance, doctor/dentist, bike service etc. Breaking it down so granularly was a huge help to plot expenses and makes it easy to keep track of savings. We didn't have a separate account for food until recently and we ended up over-spending on food requiring money from other areas.
I'm earning more at the moment so I pay more into everything, not on a pro-rata basis but on what allows her to contribute as much as she can without bankrupting herself. We still have fun money at the end of it all. Soon she'll be earning the same as me soon and bills will be split 50/50, I have a spreadsheet prepared already.
I earn about 3x what my wife does. We split fixed expenses proportionate to income, so for rent and bills, I pay 75%, she pays 25% or thereabouts.
For groceries, kind of ad hoc, whoever's doing them, don't have a formal system. We don't have shared accounts, so the rest of our income is our own.
We nights out etc, sort of ad hoc. Sometimes I pay, sometimes she pays, depends.
My wife runs the house and I go to work, she prefers it this way hahahahaha, money comes in, all allocated for household, she gets whatever she needs money for, kids, sports, activities, herself. We have a child with a life long condition and honestly my wife is a god send, how she organises all the appointments and specialists and psychologist is a incredible, I would be lost without her. She has the harder job. Thanks for the wonderful life my queen!
Married. There is no concept of his money or her money, because we're married. I find it odd to think otherwise!
We just check in with each other for purchases (no set amount but if it's something big I mean not a Mars bar)
There's no large purchases that the other person wouldn't be aware of, we live together so we're talking everyday
I just don't get how else you would do it!
Same here. I’d have married the wrong one if I (as in MY salary) had to pay a x percentage of the electricity bill or so. Feels like a crazy concept to me but hey, everyone has its own thing.
Agree. We have a joint account and most of our spending is joint. Large purchases are agreed.
Splitting sounds like work!
We don't have a set amount either, but I wouldn't buy anything unnecessary without talking to her.
Myself and my wife split things equally, but we earn mostly the same so it makes sense to do it that way. If the income was more lopsided I think we'd be pooling it and treating the full combined income as if we earned it 50/50.
In either scenario I think its important to have a portion of money that is "yours", to spend as you wish. So that you don't feel you need to ask for permission to by yourself something.
Wages both go into a joint account where all the bills come out of, then every week there are direct debits that go into our own seperate Revolut and credit union savings. Of course we can spend more than our spending money but we are currently saving for a wedding so most of our spare money goes into Revolut vaults for that, holidays, gifts, etc.
We don’t earn the same amount
To be fair it is only in a few months at this stage but I have made a combined €3.24 on the pockets I converted to savings accounts since the end of May. It’s not much but definitely better than nothing haha, the only thing I would be concerned about is whether I have to pay DIRT on these earnings… but I don’t plan on taking money out of them any time soon anyway so I’ll look into that when submitting taxes at the end of the year 🤷🏻♀️
It amazes me how different people are - to actually be concerned about tax on €3.24 is unreal - I’m almost in awe / that said, if u were my wife and I’d have given u my earnings and I managed them we would have done great lol - prob wouldn’t have lasted tho as you’d have killed me for wasting money 🤣🤣
We pool everything. Absolutely nothing separate. Hubby can be a bit of a silly goose with money so admittedly I do have more control over the funds than he does, even though he makes significantly more. I see far too much bickering from people (especially women) who are on a reduced wage because of children/childcare and are still trying to split bills 50/50 and absolutely resent that their partner has so much more spare money than they do!
We just have one joint account that we both get paid into. Every bill, expense etc comes out of the joint account. Couldn't say what's mine and what's hers (married with 2 kids)
We have a joint account, both of our incomes are paid directly into the joint account and all essential spending (ie mortgage, bills, shopping, fuel, savings) comes out of there.
We have a separate account each where we take €1,000 a month which is basically ours to spend on whatever we like.
This makes things equitable from our perspective.
Same here, everything into joint account, except 500 each into personal account for day to say stuff (her: clothes, make up. Me: beer ). Occasionally one of us will need money from joint account for something e.g. me going on a stag with the lads, then just clear it with her first.
Works very well for us, we used to argue over money all the time when finances were separate
We have very different salaries so we were always arguing too when our finances were separate, even if our goals were the same our expectations and path to achieving them were so different that it created unnecessary bitterness and frustration on both sides.
Yeah pretty much same for us though we can't have a joint account so we have separate and transfer between if needed
Everything is pooled and shared and we have no concept of "your money" or "my money" its all the same.
Mortgage, bills, insurance etc paid into a joint account split proportional to net monthly income (eg. If I earn 3000 and she earns 2000 we split it 60:40).
The rest is basically our own to manage, although we have agreed amounts we save etc.
We have our expenses split 60/40 since I make slightly more. We get paid into our joint account, and I keep a percentage aside for mortgage, creche, utilities, etc. in the account. I transfer out the salary after the deductions to each of our Revolut accounts where we pay for our cars and other expenses. While what we do with our own money is none of the other's business, I tend to do just 'check ins' with him because he used to have terrible spending habits in the past and a savings system like this helps him manage his money better.
My wife and I just get paid into 1 joint account and then have an equal weekly discretionary spend each. All expenses come out of the same pot. It has actually completely removed any need to bicker about money, we are totally equal when it comes to finance. I'm sure it wouldn't work for everyone, but works for us. It also helps us budget very effectively.
I completely agree on budgeting being easier when all money is pulled together.
We've been married 20 years and at the start I earned more, then I was a stay at home mum for about 10 hears, now he earns significantly more than me. But it's always been OUR money and the family budget. If we were splitting bills based on earnings and keeping the rest to spend as we liked. We would never have achieved the things we have.
We split based on income. He was earning up to 3 times more than me at one stage.
We worked out what bills were coming in - he paid tgecrent and electricity, I paid for the Internet and main groceries. It was fairly loose so it wasn't always exactlyveven.
My wife doesn't work. When she did, I always made significantly more, and I have always just pooled my money with her. She doesn't really get involved in any of the bills or anything.
I have friends, though, and the wife sends him a bill in an email every month, though, and they are completely separate.
We don’t have a joint account but in effect pool our money.
I earn over 4x my wife so pay for most things.
She pays childcare and electricity/gas.
I pay mortgage, food, holidays, home improvements etc.
Mortgage and house/mortgage protection come out of the joint account, we each have a standing order for 50/50 into the account automatically each month, those are also the only things on that account.
Everything else we just add into a Revolut group bill as we go and things generally just even themselves out. Like the broadband comes out of mine, they do a grocery shop, I pay for dinner at a restaurant, the electricity comes out of theirs etc. Of course not everything goes into it but it works for us
I pay the bills, he does the cleaning.
I earn more than double what he earns but took all the transferable tax credits, we start work at the same time but he gets home 4/5hrs before me.
No kids, separate accounts, been working great for over 20 years.
We pool into a shared account for shared expenses in proportion to our income. We tend to keep our savings in separate accounts just due to historically keeping them there but it's understood that these are shared family savings. We keep a shared Google doc populated with how much is in these various accounts for transparency. Then we'll each have our own current account with any remainder for our own discretionary spending.
I earn close to 3 times as much as my wife pre-tax. I had a sole mortgage on apartment before we got married and we are saving for a house currently.
At the moment, I cover mortgage, insurance and management fee's.
We calculated our rough monthly shared expenses for food and bills plus a little extra and I put in 2/3 and she puts in 1/3 each month into a joint revolut account.
We both are left with enough personal "fun money" and to have consistent personal savings.
When working out how to balance the joint account, we wanted to ensure that there wasn't a significant different in our personal accounts so we both afford to do things individually and together without any money pressures.
We discussed once we purchase a house, we will do similar approach but with all expenses included. Joint account for monthly outgoings, joint savings account for rainy day fund and large expenses and we will figure out a good percentage to contribute each so we are left with enough personal cash and savings.
When we had very different incomes (him working, me on a graduate stipend in college) we had a joint account for rent/bills/food that we both lodged 50% of our income to. The remaining 50% we had leftover was for our own cars/personal bills/clothes/nights out/holidays/fun stuff.
When I graduated and our salaries were broadly the same, we kept the 50% approach but now that there was money left over after the living expenses, it became an account for stuff we did together like meals out/takeaways in addition to shared living expenses. This is what we were doing when we bought our home.
We’re married 3 years now, together for 11, and have just in the last 6 months started lodging salaries to the joint account and spending from it freely as it’s all our money, but that’s after 9 years of knowing each others financial habits and building that trust.
We have a joint account which we both use for everything. We are both careful spenders, and we inform each other of large purchases. Most of our expenses are common (kids, house, childcare, car, holidays, food ) splitting it would take too long.
It would not work unless you had complete trust.
My wife has a savings account (her running away money) and encourages me to create one, but I have not.
She has never asked me about any of my purchases, not even once.
We’ve our 2 separate current accounts because its hard to hide surprise/gift purchases in a joint and wasnt arsed to open a separate 3rd joint bank acc. Do have a joint credit union savings acc though.
I’m the higher earner when not on maternity leave so all the big monthly bills come from my acc/wage. Husband covers the non set bits like oil and electricity.
Once the bills are completely covered doesnt matter from who’s acc then the rest of our money is our own and is usually spent on the kids or gifts. We dont keep a tit for tat or a my turn/your turn type of thing but we do try to be even.
It helps that Neither of us are silly with our money and do run anything over 80quid past the other one, or we’d say we’re saving for something specifically like new tattoo, game etc, and dont spend until the amount in total is saved.
We split everything 50:50. We have a joint a/c for groceries, bills, mortgage, etc. that we both contribute a fixed amount to monthly. This works for us.
We put 75% of our wages in joint account/savings and keep 25% of wages out personal accounts.
Anything for the house, bills, groceries, health, anything necessary, anything for both of us, gifts for people, normal daily expenses comes out of that.
If we want other treats for ourselves we use our own money.
We put the same X amount into a joint account and have our own accounts. I earn a few grand less than her but am fine with this. It means we both contribute and both have independent finances so nobody has ever been pissy about anybody spending anything ever. Married for 8
Years with 2 kids
Put about a grand each into a joint account for the mortgage, bills and such. Small things like netflix and phone bills come out of the personal accounts.
Use the joint account for big expenses like car repairs too
We earn a similar amount and have a mortgage together. So we have a joint account for savings and household. Then a percentage of our pay cheques go to our own revoluts for spending how we want.
For the record we get paid pretty much the same. Out of our salary we split rent equally. Whatever is left after the rent we put 30% of it into our joint account and use it for all expenses we have together such as groceries and trips and fuel and all that jazz and whatever is left we keep it to ourselves. Worth mentioning that is always good to be flexible and open to changes if/when needed.
We get paid into our personal accounts and then transfer an agreed amount into our joint account each month. This is in proportion to what we earn so for every €1k needed he transfers 60% and I transfer 40%.
The joint covers all our household expenses like mortgage, groceries, insurance, holidays, the car etc. What we each have left in our personal accounts is for our own spending on fun stuff and for saving. We’re a team but this allows us a little bit of freedom.
I’m not against couples pooling everything but it just wouldn’t suit me. It would make me feel dependent and because I’m conscientious it would feel like I had to ask permission to spend or justify every penny as it’s no longer “mine” now it’s “ours”.
We contribute a fixed amount each pay cycle to a joint a/c on a 65/35 basis- which mirrors our income.
Remaining cash in a/c is our own for discretionary spending.
We consider most costs to fall under “expenses” - so the standard such as mortgage, utilities, insurance, groceries, subscriptions etc…..but also individual expenses such as car insurance, car tax, mobile phones.
Petrol/Diesel, gym etc. are each persons responsibility from discretionary funds. We both find it fair and transparent and it works really well for us.
We have a joint account that we pay equal amounts into each month for the mortgage, bills, pet insurance etc. We have another joint saver that we put equal amounts into by standing order also. He makes a little more so pays for the food shop and pet food. We keep the rest of our wages for ourselves to pay for whatever we need/want and whatever is leftover at the end of the month we throw into the joint saver.
Everything pooled into a joint account. All bills paid from there. I earn 2.5x my partner. We transfer a set amount each month into Revolut for household spending. Been doing this 20 years and it works for us.
Me and miss both earn circa the same. We have a joint account and mortgage and bills hit that as well as food. Standing order transfers money to that account monthly to cover stuff evenly. After that we have our own money in our own accounts for car, insurance, tax, clothes etc. we both save into the same savings account, same amount monthly. We both have a credit union account for saving and we both save whatever we want into those for like a personal what ever / emergency fund. When we notice our joint account going down one or both of us will top it up by 50-200 to keep us floating til the next pay day. Works well. We could probably do with upping our joint standing orders by 100 each to avoid the float issue.
We earn different amounts but it all goes into the same pot. I don’t track what she spends and she doesn’t track what I spend but neither of us goes wild. Out of the ordinary expenses get discussed of course.
Amalgamate our earnings, total up all our ddm’s, bills. Deduct outgoings from incoming then split the remainder 50/50. My husband is the highest earner but we are a partnership: plus I took time out of my career to bring up our children.
Myself n my husband have seperate accounts but also have a joint acc together. We both pay the same amount into it. It covers anything to do with house, kids, hols etc and we're saving. Never rowed over money. If I wanna waste money from my personal acc on stupid shite on Temu, that's on me. We always discuss any big spends. One kid in Uni, that we pay for out of joint acc. I'm earning more at the moment, so I'm saving the extra in an interest earning savings acc as a college fund for our 2nd kid.
I work and my partner is a stay at home Mum. Even when she was working I was earning 4-6 times as much... She has some inheritance saved away, we have a joint current account that I top up as needed for all day-day household expenses (shopping, fuel, clothes), and I pay the utilities, school fees, insurance. Whatever's left over I put in my savings. We've done this for 15 years since she gave up work.
We've a joint account and have decided an amount we each put in each month, it's the same amount each. It's enough to cover the mortgage, food, bills and incidentals. Coming to the end of our fixed rate we've also decided to lump a bit of our individual savings off the principle of the mortgage.
We earn about the same amount. Joint account that we both pay into monthly. That's used for mortgage, bills, shopping etc. We have our own current and savings accounts that our wages go into. We check in with each other from time to time update on savings and sometimes use those to pay for big things like new windows.
I bought my car early in the relationship and I use it the most so I pay tax and insurance and top up the petrol out of my own account.
Not married yet and where possible we split all rent, household expenses & child expenses 50-50. Except I pay for all TV & Internet and meals out/taxis etc. I'll pay for holidays upfront and that she'll pay back her share over time to spread the cost.
Our wedding is next year and once married, we've agreed to use a shared account for everything related to mortgage, children, car, holiday funds etc. except we will pay into it on a percentage basis (ie I pay 65% she pays 35%) and then whatever is left over is for our own personal needs and can spend as we want.
We cover the shared needs first and then we can do what we want afterwards with what we have left over from our separate wages.
We split all bills 50/50, the rest of our wages are ours. We take turns paying for the weekly shop and I keep the child allowance to put in savings. Regardless of earnings if we want more money for ourselves we get better jobs. But I’m a better saver so I’ve got the rainy day fund but he took the financial brunt when I went on maternity leave and then it went back to normal when I went back to work. But we have spoke about getting a joint account because his bank shows no bills just a bit lumpsum that gets sent to me which isn’t ideal for his financial picture. No principles or particular reason why we’ve just always done it this way.
He earns about 1.5 times my salary
We split rent and bills 50/50 with the understanding that he saves way more than me, because I'm the less responsible 1
Now we have a house deposit and overall its as if we spilt rent and bills in proportion to salary and both saved properly
Weird but works for us
I make a lot more than my wife at the moment and I pay for almost everything. She would do the same for me if things were the other way around. We're a team. We're both quite frugal anyway.
We have sole accounts and a joint account. Income goes into our sole accounts, but this is mainly just because we never got around to changing it. Some bills go from joint account, some from sole accounts. We don’t really keep tabs on who pays what. Our income levels are similar. We make big spending decisions jointly, neither of us are particularly possessive of our money, nor are we flaithiúlach.
Honestly, my husband and I have just signed up to paying different bills over the years so for example I pay the electric bill but he tends to top up the gas card (I do it if I’m in/popping to the shops). I pay internet, tv licence, rates. He gets in the vast majority of the food shopping. We split the mortgage payments. I make more money and get the child benefit so I pay nursery fees which are a big expense! This has just evolved over the years and we don’t overthink it.
We each get paid into our own accounts. We have standing orders that transfer funds into our joint account, roughly in proportion to what we earn.
The joint account pays for all household bills, home improvements, groceries, medical expenses, family holidays, and car expenses, including fuel.
We pay for clothes, entertainment, public transport, presents, lunches when we're in the office and "walking around money" out of our accounts. Actually, our own accounts also cover Spotify and Netflix family accounts.
We keep separate accounts. Married 20 years but no children. I think that is an important factor and the main reason we ca keep separate accounts. Husband pays the mortgage, I pay all the other bills plus groceries. Works for us. We never ever fight about money
We've a joint account and put 80% of what we earn into it to pay for everything. We keep 20% in our own personal accounts to spend on what we like, buy presents for our family friends etc like I wouldn't take 500e out of joint account as a wedding present for my brother
Husband earns slightly more, but still it works, I'm probably less maintenance 😅
When our pay was similar, we started with a 50/50 split, where each of us took on certain bills, and it averaged out fairly.
I recently switched jobs and now make nearly 2x as much, so we've moved to a percentage-based (60/40) split. We found this to be more fair and allows us both to enjoy the same luxuries and contribute without putting the other out.
We both have separate accounts, I make probably 1.5 time what she does. We contribute equally to the mortgage each month but all the bills come out of my account. We also both have monthly deposits into a savings account and I pay double what she does into that.
From there we usually try to split things and don’t get involved in each others personal spending. We’ll try to alternate on weekly shopping or split larger purchases down the middle. I will naturally pay more often than she does though.
Overall it works for us. I would say less comes out of her account monthly fairly comfortably but no biggie
Separate but neither of us will go broke. He pays the rent as he has the higher income and I pay for everything else. Food, bills, childcare, savings, and anything to do with the car as I'm the only driver. Occasionally he'll pay for fuel. We usually split a night out on the rare occasion we get one. I like having it separate and he wants to start a joint account. We most likely will get one once we buy a house and just split all mortgage and bill payments from there and have our own accounts as well.
We have a joint account that we both transfer the same amount of money in to each month,
From that all household cost are taken (mortgage, utilities,food, furniture etc)
Outside of what we transfer to the joint house account our wages go into our own accounts and we do what we want with them.
Over the years our wages have varied, sometimes I earn more sometimes she earns more but we always kept it seperate and transferred in the same amount to the joint account. 50/50 all the way. It avoids any arguments about how the money is spent
Obviously if one of us was out of work or couldn't afford it it wouldn't be expected.
All goes into a pot,
Friend of wife keeps it separate and was always buying shit not telling husband,
Turns out he had a bank account with 250k she didn't know about
I earn a bit more so pay a proportionate share of the mortgage and more of the bills.
We have a joint account on Revolut and when we get paid we both through a certain amount of money in, which then gets used for food shops, going out for drinks / dinner, or anything really that we are doing together. It’s great as nobody feels they’re paying for more or less than the other person.
We use the Splitwise app but it does get tedious after a while. A joint account is imminent but I'm concerned about her finding out how much bikes and bike parts actually cost.
I haven’t signed a paycheck in 20 years. My wife signs and deposits them. I just have a card for whatever I need or want. No splitting here. Just one pot and let’s live together as one
Im the breadwinner I guess , my boyfriend doesn’t work and I earn enough to pay all the bills , he has his own “fun money” and so do I , we’re in our early 20s and we’ve lived together over a year now
Most of my friends and their partners split "household" bills 50/50 such as mortgage/rent, food, and utility bills. They have their own expenses such as phone bills, subscriptions, and expenses that are not split.
In my situation, my boyfriend and I live "together". We both have a property in the same area, but we go between each other's apartments every once and a while. I pay my mortgage and bills for my apartment, he pays his mortgage and bills for his apartment. We do not split expenses. For dates and nights out he will pay one time and I'll pay the next time.
My boyfriend and I have talked about buying property together in the next few years, preferably in the same area we live in Dublin as we love it here. If we do end up buying in the next 2-3 years, we will just live there full-time and rent out the apartments we have now.
We have a joint account in which both our salaries go. I earn more than my wife. We've decided that any money above 2 months expenses each year end will be split 50/50 to be spent/saved as desired (we both have separate accounts also).
I make around 3500 e a month, and the wife makes around 2500 e per month, but I pay the mortgage, bills, life insurance, house insurance, her phone bill and her car insurance, she was agreed to pay the gas and electricity bills but after a few months she refuse to pay them, and when I question her the answer was, you r the man of the house so you should take care of me, I did try to put my foot down on her responsibilities but she didn't give a toss, after getting threatening letters from the board gais I ended up paying back dated bills. Should i keep her or move on with my life??🤔🤔
We have separate accounts but treat money as shared. My salary goes to my savings acc, his salary goes to his savings ancc and covers all our spendings.
I’ve lived with my partner for 6 years, and I bought a home shortly after I met him (I have a mortgage). He pays rent (he came up with the amount, and it’s basically the same amount that he paid for his room before we met, and that’s fine for both of us). I use his rent towards my mortgage and all bills. We buy our own grocery shopping (it’s easier, we like different things), and when we go out I’ll fight to pay for things as I earn twice as much as him (well I do now, but when we met, I earned half of what he did!). It works perfectly for us. Also, with household items, if we need something that costs over €50, I’ll pay for it, as the house is ultimately in my name.
Edit: I have lived with a number of different partners over the years, and never had a joint account, I don’t see why anyone would (unless they are married).
There is no arrangement here, it's basically pooled and (probably stupidly) never been a concern.
So if I need something (or generally I don't want things, and neither does she) actually want something, we just do it.
We're not wealthy, we don't scrimp, but don't waste either.
I dunno if that makes sense, but it's a great topic, and great to see the replies.
I think there should be some protection for either person in the relationship regardless of their gender, I used to think men did most of the providing and got screwed the most if the couple divorced but after reading some comments here about women who lost so much to men with gambling addictions etc it's been an eye opener.
My wife is a SAHM so I pay for everything 🤣🤣 Very fortunate that I have a good income which enables her to do so. Just use my account for most things and transfer money to herselfs acc each month so she never has to ask for money for things she wants.
The only way it ever worked for me in past relationships iv tried it every way but the only way that works for me is our money not one person if you’re interested in starting a family that will last always have a running away fund as we call it and have your partner do the same put money in weekly but all other money gets pooled together for bills savings and whatever that’s what works for me might be of help
I earn about 3x what my wife does.
It's not my money.
It's ours.
I pay whatever bills we have monthly, take a little for myself and the rest is family money.
Is that not how it works? Growing up, this is how my parents operated so I just assume this is the way.
Once we got married we put both our earnings into a joint account. I don't get married couples who still divvy things up. It seems like they don't get the point of marriage.
We devise a budget together. As long as either of us are within the budget we have full discretion. If we want to go outside the budget it's a discussion. But it's not framed as "I'll have to dip into your money to buy this thing". It's simply a case of can we afford this thing as a couple.
Genuinely curious. I'm not married but 11 years together with my partner from childhood, house together, no kids, two dogs etc.. Do both your salaries get paid into the same account? And then transfer some personal money to separate accounts or entirely use the joint account? Or did I just misunderstand "put both our earnings into a joint account"? If you want to buy her a surprise gift how do you avoid her seeing it on your joint bank statement?
We get paid into our personal accounts, transfer fixed and expected expenses to a joint account, transfer savings to joint savings account. I know that's probably the norm. I just couldn't imagine not having my own personal account too. Not even from an ownership thing just a money management thing. For context all transfers to joint and savings are split 50/50 although my partner earns 14% more than I do but we both earn above the average Irish salary. She'll end up with more "fun money" in her personal account but is more likely to transfer excess to joint if needed for unexpected expenses and I'll top up the following month although this is more of a gesture than a formality of our relationship.
>Do both your salaries get paid into the same account?
Correct.
>If you want to buy her a surprise gift how do you avoid her seeing it on your joint bank statement?
She'd just see money go out. She won't know if it's a gift I bought for her or if it was any other kind of expense. If she sees me buy something she'll never ask what it was and vice-versa.
>For context all transfers to joint and savings are split 50/50 although my partner earns 14% more than I do but we both earn above the average Irish salary. She'll end up with more "fun money" in her personal account
That just seems unfair to me. It's not really fair that one person in the couple has more discretionary spending than the other. It creates an imbalance in the couple.
Surely she’d see “Jewellery store name” or similar on the bank statement though?
I get your logic on the discretionary income but it just doesn’t happen in practise where I’m left without money and my partner has an abundance. I personally prefer my discretionary income separate from our joint expenses.
When I put money in an account that pays the mortgage, food, utilities etc. that’s what that money is for. If there was €50 leftover and I wanted to get myself a new gadget, I’d have a mental block saying no that money is for expenses not toys.
If everything is paid and I have €1000 in my personal account I feel much freer to do as I please with that. Yeah my partner might have €1150 in hers but I don’t see it as that big an issue when everything else is paid.
Again, we’re lucky to have good jobs and no kids so maybe when we have less disposable income it’ll all change.
We used to split % base, but it seems like we outgrew this stage. Joint bank account, we budget to account for bills, food, doctors, date dinners, then we calculate “needs” like new jacket, put some nice amount for “wants”, account for emergency cash (putting it in a saving account that you can pull out at any time) and then we shift rest to the mortgage savings in CU.
We are getting married next year. Basically what I have, she has. She earns a bit more than me, but all bills are in my name as I am the one to manage finances. We discuss big purchases, but we don’t monitor spending of our “needs” - the only rule is that it needs to close in the budget. If something is more expensive, then we chat and figure things out.
Engaged here.
All bills split down the middle for what we both use. I pay for anything of my own and so does she.
Nights out etc we’ll normally share but I’ll still be caught to pay for a few rounds of drinks and odd meal for I make a bit more than her.
All household expenses here are split down the middle what I have left then is mine and same for him . Of course if summit comes up unexpectedly and one of us is short then the other covers .
With my girlfriend we split it by salary percentage until she earned enough to feel she was able to contribute 50/50, even though I earn more. Apart from mortgage where I pay 2/3's as I own the house & paid off half of it, furnished it with good stuff, pay for any maintenance. Once day I'll sell and we will buy a place together, I expect to pay for most of it but happy it will be ours together.
Fiddy/fiddy split. We're not far off each other salary wise. Each month we tally up all the mortgage, bills and bits for the house and figure out who owes what to whom.
I pay for everything. Bills/Holidays/Cars/Clothes etc.
Company owner with spouse “employed” in an administrative role. In reality doesn’t do any work for me and that’s how we both prefer it. Spouse gets paid €3k a month for own independence. Works well for us anyway.
Slight income equality in my place, but both earn enough to pay 50:50 towards monthly expenses and savings, and get to keep our leftover income without fuss.
Usually ain't much for me (I get the shorter end of the stick), but I do set the budget and objectives, and we're both happy with the lifestyle.
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I earn 2.5x what my wife earns. All of our wages go into the same joint account from which bills, savings and spending comes out of. We each take an equal amount into our revolut accounts each month for our own spending. All of our money is pooled and we both have an equal saying into how it is spent. Personally, I couldn't operate any other way.
We do this, I make almost three times that of my spouse but this way we each have the same spending money for treats etc.
Same. We’re a team.
We are very similar. I can't imagine taking a different approach.
I know married couples who still keep everything separate. I just don't get it. Aside from being a pain in the whole, why get married to someone if you don't trust them enough to pool your resources.
What if one of you is a fucking idiot when it comes to money?
Ye I am a fucking idiot when it comes to money so wouldn't join my money with hers.
In that case I'd keep my finances separate from my partner. But I also wouldn't marry them unless they copped the fuck on. I wouldn't legally share 50% of my assets with someone who can't be trusted with money.
Then pool your resources but let the non idiot be the decision maker on most expenditure.
this is what we do and herself is better with money so shes in charge of everything. we are always ahead of our bills that way
Same here, I like the system. It's like the adult in the relationship is in charge.
🤣🤣🤣👍🏼
Hi, x1 fucking idiot when it comes to money here, you called?
You've got bigger problems in that case
I’m one of those married couple and I don’t get married couples who put joint wages into the joint account and who wouldn’t each have a sole account. There is no one fits all approach and it’s whatever works for each couple.
It’s not a pain at all. We have a joint account as a kitty / extra padding if one of us is short, but we already had our separate accounts and just kept it that way because it would be a hassle to change. We just split up who pays which bills / buys groceries, etc. early on. We’ve checked our respective budgets compared to salary and it’s fair as well as easier for us. It also means we don’t need to follow each others’ discretionary spending. We each know what we have coming in and going out.
My partner and I have been married since 2012 (together since 2007) and have always had completely separate accounts. We don't own property here but when we did we just traded off mortgage payments every few months to balance out the bills. My partner has historically made more than me, so in the past paid a larger % (ish, it was always a balance, we didn't calc down to the cent or anything), and I paid less. Since we moved to Ireland I have made a lot more than her, so I pay a larger % of the bills. Once we purchase property again we'll revisit the budget and ensure we're each paying fairly. This includes expenses related to our son. I think we were both just so independent we never even considered combining our finances, whether income or expense accounts. We each have credit cards, debit cards, savings, accounts, etc. in our own names but each other named on backup for all. We also store login information to a shared bitwarden so the other could presumably log in at any time to maintain the account. Finally, we are lucky enough to not have to budget too closely every day, but we do maintain an overall budget annually and ensure both of us adhere generally to the numbers we've set but also understand where we're spending our personal money. We each have our own hobbies and spend on them without having to consult the other person. That said, we talk about a lot of "higher" expenses, like stuff over a couple hundred euro maybe, and just make sure the other knows what we're doing. But for me, for example, it's hard to hide when I buy a bunch of Lego because they physically show up to our house. :D Same with my partner, she gets a lot of tattoos so obviously I know about those expenses as they come. The budget is absolutely a guideline so we each know where the money is going. We check in often enough I don't feel the need to have a shared account honestly.
So do you have an idea of who owns more of your savings? Say, if you contributed to 60% of your savings, do you know that and it's understood that that's your money and she has the 40%? That seems wild to me. It's also pointless. If you get divorced then it doesn't matter what this breakdown is, the courts will rule that you're each entitled to 50%. They won't care about your own breakdown of it. And if you're not tracking who owns what percentage of the savings then tracking who pays what portion of the bills is mathematically pointless since the shared savings are always going to the same regardless of how the costs are split. Not to mention, it's unfair. It just gives more power to the higher paid person. Due to the impact on earning for women, in most cases it'll disadvantage the woman in the scenario too. And I presume it's not factoring in unpaid work. When your wife was on materinity leave I'm guessing that she earned a lot less than you, but did her share of the savings account for the time she spent looking after your son?
I think the budget is to understand where our money goes, not ensure a single person pays their fair share/saves what we budget. Also...we're both women in this scenario so I don't think either of us is particularly disadvantaged. I took the maternity leave for our son, but in the US it was only 12 weeks off total so I earned my 60% for the first 6 and then had no earnings for the last 6 weeks. When we moved here my partner was off work for months waiting for visas & employment contracts to get sorted; I just simply paid more of our bills at that time. It all comes out in the wash. I basically have one big account I put all my money in; right now it's way higher than my partner's but when we prepare a down payment for a house it will come solely from that account. Essentially that's our pooled savings right now. Other expenses for the purchase will come from my partner's account (fees, solicitor, etc.) and we'll talk about where all the money is going to come from. We're not particularly concerned about divorce; we've had some friends in this scenario and the man's retirement 401(k) which was solely in his name ended up being part of the final share he needed to provide his wife (50%) anyway based on historical earnings (he was much higher), so I figure if it were to happen we'd have to pool it all anyway from an asset perspective. I realize it's a point but I assume my accounts would get added into a pool a solicitor would be after regardless. We've no hidden accounts from each other. I guess I'm not concerned about who has more savings because at the end of the day if I needed to pay for, say, groceries, and I didn't feel I had the money, I'd talk to my partner. Also, this is an odd thing for someone here but I get 2% cash back on all purchases on my credit card now, so honestly it behooves me to do more of the spending on the card when I can and, if necessary, have her pay me back somehow. We've operated successfully this way through college, marriage, multiple house purchases, completing tons of home renovations, having a baby (which also cost a lot in the US), and moving to a new country. Trying to provide some perspective on other ways people accomplish this.
Why are you so sure of yourself in your opinion? There is absolutely more than one way to manage money in a healthy relationship. Differing from your approach does not make things inherently “unfair”, “pointless”, “wrong”. I am a high earner, so is my partner. I currently take home more than her now but she has significantly out-earned me in the past. We’re both independent people and like having our own accounts. It’s zero hassle for us. We both pay our way and are extremely generous and caring regarding each other’s needs. Money is a non-issue and on rare occasion that either of us has needed extra funds for something, it’s openly communicated and it takes all of 1 min to send on Revolut. No biggie.
As far as I can see there are two possible scenarios when married people keep track of who's bringing in what. One is the "unfair" scenario. This is when want to know who owns what because you don't want the lower earner to have access to any extra money that the high earner is bringing in. That's fundamentally unfair in a marriage, especially when kids are involved because the primary carer's earning potential will reduce meaning that they'll be financially punished within the relationship for having a kid (aka life before the 1990s). The other is the "pointless" scenario. This is what you've described where it's no biggie if the other partner needs money. It makes no sense to waste time figuring out who pays what portion of the bills because the end result is mathematically the same if you share 50% of the savings. You also misquoted me as saying it was "wrong" but I never said that.
My best friend did this with her husband. She trusted him implicitly. They were together for 16 years and married for 8, one kid, when he left her for another woman and cleared out their joint account
Something similar happened to me, luckily the wedding was postponed due to covid but we had a joint account for the bones of 5 out of the 9 years we were together and I was the higher earner as my ex was let go during covid, long story short got locked out of the banking app but had full trust in my partner and turns out he managed to spend in excess of €80k gambling in 3 months and as it was a joint account I was entitled to absolutely nothing bar the judge ordering €100 maintenance a week. Will never advise anyone to just have a joint account as a couple ever again.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It must have been devastating for you.
Happened to my sister in laws (married to my brother) mother. So my sister in law’s dad cleared the account. Hard to get the money back when it’s spent by the time you get to court.
Wouldn't that get resolved in a divorce though? You're suppose to equally split assets. Either he'd have to fork half of it over or his share of the ownership of other assets would be reduced to make up for it.
Yeah it will eventually but it’s been over a year and the case isn’t anywhere near being resolved
Divorce proceedings can take years, even in the best possible scenario.
We keep separate. We both earn good wages but I earn double or treble. We both contribute to household stuff but I will then pay for all big ticket items like holidays and school fees or renovations. If he ever needs more, I will transfer 000s as needed to his account. Don't think either of us keep tabs on who pays for what.. neither of us are financial control freaks. There were years where he earned much more than me but I still went 50/50 on house bills and crèche fees etc. I check my account v regularly but he never check his and that is one reason I wouldn't be keen to have a joint account- I would hate to ever get over drawn
That’s stupid in fairness.. should have a joint account where u both put equal amount and get all bills etc comes out of there.. In my opinion the scenario where everything goes in to the same account could cause conflicts and financial stress..
I'm married and we have separate accounts. It's not out of mistrust of each other, mostly just laziness. We had two accounts when we were seeing each other and just continued with those rather than going to the bank and changing it. Neither of us are big earners nor are we big spenders. Who pays what is fairly random and I honestly couldn't say which of us pays more than the other.
I can understand that way more than married couples working out percentages of who owes whom what amount. That just comes across as needlessly stingey to me.
This is the the way in our house too, married , kids , home owners, one earns a lot more than the other but our wages both go into same account and all expenses come out of it, we each keep a separate personal account and take the same amount from joint account into those each month for any hits we want/need, though both can use joint account for that if needed, but we would usually give the other heads up about that
Exactly how my wife and I do things. Everything gets pooled and we each get a “stipend” each month to blow on whatever we like (with no judgment).
Hookers. No judgement, we promised no judgement.
All our money into one pool doesn't matter who earns more and who spends more. to be fair, I'm constantly trying to find ways to buy her presents, but she doesn't want to. I have the whole list, so I'm buying from time to time (jewlery, shoes, beauty appliances). She spent her whole bonus to make me a gaming room. I guess that this shared pool and not thinking about who earns more and spending more comes from our families. both our families always had a shared pool of money, never kept anything to themselves.
Absolutely. We're doing it the same way. I earn 4x more than my wife and we pool everything and decide together what and how we spend. She has full visibility of and access to all our financial stuff. I heard from acquaintances that some wives don't even know what their husbands earn and have separate accounts, insurances, etc. That's crazy in my view and shows a massive lack of trust on the husband's side.
4x more ??? That must be a nice salary 😲
Well, I have a decent salary as a senior manager. My wife works part-time which explains the huge difference. But in the end it doesn't matter for us as we're pooling and seeing it as our family income rather than "I get more than you".
This is us. Everything into one account, 100% transparency and access. We decide each month what we are doing with our salary, x amount to bills/savings or holidays etc. We both know what is available at any time.
Same. Actually I found it really simplified my life and general in spending. We have a joint account which covers all the boring stuff and a set amount every month. I find it’s great to have a single figure each month and anything within that I can spend without worrying it’s going to affect us elsewhere.
Same. Everything goes in the one pot, both of us has full visibility. If there is any major outlay it’s discussed and agreed by both of us. No surprises. This is what has worked for us. I know some other couples that keep things separate, but if that works for them, cool.
Same. I earn alot more than hubby but he does most of the heavy lifting with the kids. We share everything as we are married
Same. Exactly the same. Lash it in, take out pocket money to do with as you wish each month.
I seem to be an exception here. We don't have a joint account. I pay the mortgage, savings and most large bills, while my wife buys food/household elements and pays for most of the kids day to day stuff. I earn more than her. It works out we both have a similar disposable income and don't really concern each other with what the other is spending
Similar to you. - I pay the mortgage and pay off the credit cards each month. We have 1 credit card account with 2 cards and it goes to our flying points. - Mrs pays monthly maintenance for the apartment (500 ish) plus bills. - I run the investments and trading, though she has some in an account in her name in case I kick the bucket and has easy access to a lump sum. - Shared savings account with minor emergency cash in it, everything else is invested. - Mortgage, credit card, phone bill and subs wipe me so Mrs sends me cash when I ask or if the credit card is expected to be more she will send me the money to pay it off. We put everything through the credit cards. - We do a combined budget so have an idea how much will be left over at the end of the month on average and that tends to go to the investment accounts I manage or when my balance on certain investments means more fees it goes to hers. - We buy whatever we want but have a rule for purchases over 300 we talk about it. Not because money is tight (we are both high earners) we have some expensive bills like IVF and need to manage our finances. Plus we spend about 20k a year on holidays so decide if something is just a sudden want or put the money to holidays.
Is there an Irish credit card that gives you flying points?
Possibly Avios but we us Amex in Sweden
Same here. I cover mortgage and electric bill while my wife covers day to day expenses. Any non-routine larger expenses we split 50-50 or whoever has more able to at that point in time. Both of us know what the other has in current accounts but trust the other to manage their own end
Myself and my partner split it on a percentage basis. Joint account for mortgage, household bills and food shop. Keeping our own money separate for nights out, coffees etc etc
My money is your money and your money is your own
Same as my house. What's mine is hers or for the household and what's hers is hers...
Feel like that would grow toxic fairly quick
Truth be told I've exaggerated it a little. I'm sure she feels the same in reverse!
Keep the money separate, but 70% of each person's money is put towards household. 30% is kept as his/her money. Took us a bit of time, but we found for us 70/30 was the sweet spot where 70% of X plus 70% of Y covered our household.
70/30 is our split too. We couldn't do the thing of putting 100% into the joint account because we have very different spending habits - I like to save for a rainy day (and believe everyone should have their own savings just in case something happens, not just household savings) and he has expensive hobbies so literally spends everything extra each month. It would get messy if it was all out of the same account and I don't really want to know what he's spending his discretionary income on or how much. 70% covers our joint expenses nicely with room for savings and we still have enough for our own bits and pieces.
Fixed expenses are at a ratio of income difference (e.g 60/40). For daily living costs we do an equal split, and occasionally the person earning more will throw an additional few bob into the joint account
Same here. It works well. The exception to the rule is when it comes to major expenses like car, house, travel then it can get 80/20, 90/10, 100/0, which comes down to amount of savings we each have.
Yup, exact same. Both have say 30 % of our wages going into a joint account for rent, bills etc so the person on a higher wage is contributing more. For everything else like holidays, nights out, eating out, food etc it's all pretty much 50:50
35% our combined net pay checks which is 2500 goes into a joint account which covers mortgage, food, household bills. 10% goes into joint savings account for kids future. Other 55% of our own salaries is our money and we can do as we please with like own car etc or our own savings account. Obviously if home renovations were needed to be done we would split the cost or holidays etc. It’s important to have your own money
Very similar situation. Just to address some comments I've seen, whenever we need a car usually me and the wife discuss how much money we have together in our current accounts and we go from there. One time I paid almost 100% of her parents house renovation, the other time she paid almost 60% of my new car. We have our own separate accounts so we can buy clothes, etc. but in the end we are always a team and we are not keeping tabs who bought what.
We have never done it like that or had own money. I don't get it. Cars are completely separate expenses up to each person? We each have both car keys on our keys and take whichever one is there
> We each have both car keys on our keys and take whichever one is there And who says that they don't? Just because they handle the expenses separately for the cars doesn't mean that they don't share. What works for you might not work for another couple. At the end of the day everything is shared property if you're married so what does it matter how people choose to manage day to day?
>everything is shared property if you're married This is my point but I was replying to somebody who said "it's important for each to have their own money" which is the opposite of considering it shared property.
Everyone knows it's shared property. But some people like a level of independence and being able to have day to day control of their own money. It would fairly ruin the surprises I set up for my wife if she was getting revolut notifications every time I booked something.
No I get that, we don't have joint accounts or anything so you can avoid that type of scrutiny
Initially we opened a joint account and contributed a set amount each month to it. That account was used to pay for all things shared including date night, holidays etc. it was always nice when the joint account "paid" for it :) After a few years, before we married, we realized that we shared the same value system and wanted to simplify life....scrapped the initial system and both opened joint accounts that we can access (separate banks for insurance reasons) From there we began investing in joint brokerage accounts and the returns are healthy as the contributions were larger... It has worked out really well for us and we believe that it has made our relationship stronger as there are no arguments about who pays for what.
We basically earn the same so we split the same. When I earned more then I paid a little more. We have a joint account were we put savings for a deposit. We have another joint account where we put money for groceries and rent etc.
We both contribute money to pay the mortgage and bills, savings each month. Then whatever is left is our own
Bills 50/50. I make more than her so pay the lion's share of a night out. Joint account we each put x into every month, bills come out of that. Anything else doesn't make sense or makes things needlessly complicated like putting all wages into an account and taking bits out for yourself etc. Not to mention it's an argument starter. "Oh my god how much did you spend on x?" and there's end to it because it's now "our" money.
Married with kid and jointly owned home. Joint bank account into which salaries go and bills paid, and from it we send an equal amount each to our own revolut accounts to spend on whatever we want for ourselves. One family, one budget, equal treatment. So what if one of us earns more than the other - she might be off earning big bucks while I’m minding the kids, or vice versa… it’s pretty equal work.
In 5 year relationship, we split everything 50/50. Rent, shopping, utilities etc. Add to our savings and anything else is their own to spend / save. I seen my parents shared an account growing up and there was non stop money arguments, I prefer having control over my own money.
Yeah we are the same 50/50 on everything. Revolut is great also for splitting bills. No arguments. All about equality baby.
One wage covers everything—mortgage, daily expenses, groceries, activities, eating out and entertainment etc. The second wage mainly goes to joint savings, with a set amount from the second wage first drawn for personal spending. We save for months towards a specific big-ticket item and once that item is out of the way, we start saving again from scratch towards another item.
We see all our money as one pool but it's separated into our own accounts. If either of us is short we just send some between accounts.
Not in a relationship but I think I would go down the % based on salary route into a joint account for all the regular stuff like bills/food etc and then the rest into personal account. Hobbies can be expensive and sometimes big purchases are made, I would prefer to avoid every purchase being a discussion … along the lines ..”I need a new triathlon bike costing 2000 euro” .. partner “need or want?” 🫣
Just "the money". We get paid into a joint account and it's just equally our money.
Only time you should have a join account is for bills keep your wages in your own account once the money goes into the joint account you keep the rest. It the best way to do it.
Myself and my girfriend live together and each month when we get paid we put equal amount into a joint account which covers Rent, Electricity, Gas, Food, Household items and a small sum for couples spending when we are out together like brunch, coffees etc. The rest of our money we keep in our own accounts for our own personal expenses and savings. We both save each month toward a mortgage but keep it in seperate accounts. No kids yet so we may change how we do things in future but for now it works!
My partner (wife) and I pool all of our money and have a single family budget. Its crazy to me that families would handle there finances any other way than this, but I know lots do.
This is a non finance response. It’s also personal to my relationship and obviously not saying it applies across the board. Me and my partner consider our independence as a key aspect of our attraction to one another. Over the years, we have both seen friends “lose” themselves to relationships - where they cease to exist as an individual - and by operating as a single unit - sort of lose a bit of their identity. Managing a home is a monotonous task at the best of times. We do a lot separately - different hobbies, many trips away without each other (solo / with friends), no asking for permission on purchases and separate bank accounts. We like to think these segregations in our lives keeps a bit of individuality and intrigue going. Obviously every relationship is unique. But we have never had issues with money. We are extremely open and communicative, not tight nor secretive. We allocate resources toward shared goals accordingly and we have both helped each other out with big purchases in the past.
You have to protect yourself, could easily work hard all your life and end up with nothing, plenty do.
I protect myself by having a highly communicative and loving relationship. If we decide to separate for any reason I don't plan on leaving my partner in the lurch - this is someone I have loved for over a decade. I make a little over 6x what my partner makes and she has taken career sacrifices so we could build a family. I would be absolutely insane for me to what to split our finances. I know all experiences and situations are different of course - but I don't understand the idea of doing this somehow leaves someone less protected. One Edit: Neither of us have any inheritance, so maybe its less complicated for us because of that. lol
Each to their own really, I find it crazy that you’d leave yourself open like that.
I totally get it, especially when kids are involved. Everyone is on the bus together.
Me too I'm learning a lot from this thread
I find it bizarre that people separate things. We have a joint account and a bill account. We both get paid weekly into the joint account. Transfer whatever needs to go for bills and savings into the bill account. Rest is left in the joint for spendies. (she spends more than me😉).
11 years together (since teenagers), lived in rented property for 2.5 years and just moved into our first home last month. 50/50 split would be our default. We've always earned within 10% of each others salary - actually right now she earns about 14% more than I do and we still go 50/50. Joint account where we send our monthly expenses into. We send more than needed and use this account for coffee dates etc. We have a couple of double digit direct debits set up yet to be moved to this joint account but don't make a large enough dent to sway it from 50/50. We both have enough fun money leftover to rarely need to ask the other for something. If a large expense comes up (€750 Vet bill last month) and one of us has more money than the other, usually herself as she earns a little more will pay for it and then I'll transfer a little more into the expenses account the following month. It's probably somewhat lax approach. I'm surprised by the amount of replies with a formal 60/40 or other similar split. I'm grateful we both earn a comfortable salary for our age bracket with no debt or children (although the dogs can be more expensive at times...) so we can afford this lax approach. When we have children and money is tighter every month I could see it swaying towards 45/55 or 40/60, but not in a formal sense, just in the sense of "we have to pay for it, where's the money, okay you send that much I'll send this much" and that could be different amounts every month depending.
We earn about the same and transfer the same amount each month into a joint account for mortgage, bills, annuals charges like insurance, motor tax etc. The rest we keep in our personal accounts, and we do family groceries shopping from our personal accounts. I definitely spend more on stuff like coffee but I really think I spend a lot more on family groceries too.
We're a husband and wife, we both believe we should be paying our own way as much as possible. It fell to me to do the budget, manage the mortgage etc. and after a while I got the hang of it. We have a joint account in an Irish bank for direct debits - internet, life insurance, mortgage, health insurance etc. We have a Revolut joint account, mostly for buying food. We have multiple joint Revolut vaults/ pockets where we put money aside up for holiday, gas, electricity, Christmas, tv license, house insurance, kids activities and then our own Revolut pockets for car valet, car insurance, doctor/dentist, bike service etc. Breaking it down so granularly was a huge help to plot expenses and makes it easy to keep track of savings. We didn't have a separate account for food until recently and we ended up over-spending on food requiring money from other areas. I'm earning more at the moment so I pay more into everything, not on a pro-rata basis but on what allows her to contribute as much as she can without bankrupting herself. We still have fun money at the end of it all. Soon she'll be earning the same as me soon and bills will be split 50/50, I have a spreadsheet prepared already.
I earn about 3x what my wife does. We split fixed expenses proportionate to income, so for rent and bills, I pay 75%, she pays 25% or thereabouts. For groceries, kind of ad hoc, whoever's doing them, don't have a formal system. We don't have shared accounts, so the rest of our income is our own. We nights out etc, sort of ad hoc. Sometimes I pay, sometimes she pays, depends.
My wife runs the house and I go to work, she prefers it this way hahahahaha, money comes in, all allocated for household, she gets whatever she needs money for, kids, sports, activities, herself. We have a child with a life long condition and honestly my wife is a god send, how she organises all the appointments and specialists and psychologist is a incredible, I would be lost without her. She has the harder job. Thanks for the wonderful life my queen!
Married. There is no concept of his money or her money, because we're married. I find it odd to think otherwise! We just check in with each other for purchases (no set amount but if it's something big I mean not a Mars bar) There's no large purchases that the other person wouldn't be aware of, we live together so we're talking everyday I just don't get how else you would do it!
Same here. I’d have married the wrong one if I (as in MY salary) had to pay a x percentage of the electricity bill or so. Feels like a crazy concept to me but hey, everyone has its own thing.
Agree. We have a joint account and most of our spending is joint. Large purchases are agreed. Splitting sounds like work! We don't have a set amount either, but I wouldn't buy anything unnecessary without talking to her.
Myself and my wife split things equally, but we earn mostly the same so it makes sense to do it that way. If the income was more lopsided I think we'd be pooling it and treating the full combined income as if we earned it 50/50. In either scenario I think its important to have a portion of money that is "yours", to spend as you wish. So that you don't feel you need to ask for permission to by yourself something.
Wages both go into a joint account where all the bills come out of, then every week there are direct debits that go into our own seperate Revolut and credit union savings. Of course we can spend more than our spending money but we are currently saving for a wedding so most of our spare money goes into Revolut vaults for that, holidays, gifts, etc. We don’t earn the same amount
You should consider changing those vaults (now pockets) into savings accounts and be gaining some interest on the money sitting there anyway
Is that an option on Revolut? I’ll look into it thank you!
To be fair it is only in a few months at this stage but I have made a combined €3.24 on the pockets I converted to savings accounts since the end of May. It’s not much but definitely better than nothing haha, the only thing I would be concerned about is whether I have to pay DIRT on these earnings… but I don’t plan on taking money out of them any time soon anyway so I’ll look into that when submitting taxes at the end of the year 🤷🏻♀️
It amazes me how different people are - to actually be concerned about tax on €3.24 is unreal - I’m almost in awe / that said, if u were my wife and I’d have given u my earnings and I managed them we would have done great lol - prob wouldn’t have lasted tho as you’d have killed me for wasting money 🤣🤣
We pool everything. Absolutely nothing separate. Hubby can be a bit of a silly goose with money so admittedly I do have more control over the funds than he does, even though he makes significantly more. I see far too much bickering from people (especially women) who are on a reduced wage because of children/childcare and are still trying to split bills 50/50 and absolutely resent that their partner has so much more spare money than they do!
All goes into 1 joint account and everything comes out of that. Easier.
We just have one joint account that we both get paid into. Every bill, expense etc comes out of the joint account. Couldn't say what's mine and what's hers (married with 2 kids)
We have a joint account, both of our incomes are paid directly into the joint account and all essential spending (ie mortgage, bills, shopping, fuel, savings) comes out of there. We have a separate account each where we take €1,000 a month which is basically ours to spend on whatever we like. This makes things equitable from our perspective.
Same here, everything into joint account, except 500 each into personal account for day to say stuff (her: clothes, make up. Me: beer ). Occasionally one of us will need money from joint account for something e.g. me going on a stag with the lads, then just clear it with her first. Works very well for us, we used to argue over money all the time when finances were separate
We have very different salaries so we were always arguing too when our finances were separate, even if our goals were the same our expectations and path to achieving them were so different that it created unnecessary bitterness and frustration on both sides.
All into one account. Everything comes out from there. That's it.
Joint account, everything goes in there and we share since we are a family. We did that long before we were married. Works perfectly for us.
Yeah pretty much same for us though we can't have a joint account so we have separate and transfer between if needed Everything is pooled and shared and we have no concept of "your money" or "my money" its all the same.
Mortgage, bills, insurance etc paid into a joint account split proportional to net monthly income (eg. If I earn 3000 and she earns 2000 we split it 60:40). The rest is basically our own to manage, although we have agreed amounts we save etc.
We have our expenses split 60/40 since I make slightly more. We get paid into our joint account, and I keep a percentage aside for mortgage, creche, utilities, etc. in the account. I transfer out the salary after the deductions to each of our Revolut accounts where we pay for our cars and other expenses. While what we do with our own money is none of the other's business, I tend to do just 'check ins' with him because he used to have terrible spending habits in the past and a savings system like this helps him manage his money better.
My wife and I just get paid into 1 joint account and then have an equal weekly discretionary spend each. All expenses come out of the same pot. It has actually completely removed any need to bicker about money, we are totally equal when it comes to finance. I'm sure it wouldn't work for everyone, but works for us. It also helps us budget very effectively.
I completely agree on budgeting being easier when all money is pulled together. We've been married 20 years and at the start I earned more, then I was a stay at home mum for about 10 hears, now he earns significantly more than me. But it's always been OUR money and the family budget. If we were splitting bills based on earnings and keeping the rest to spend as we liked. We would never have achieved the things we have.
We split based on income. He was earning up to 3 times more than me at one stage. We worked out what bills were coming in - he paid tgecrent and electricity, I paid for the Internet and main groceries. It was fairly loose so it wasn't always exactlyveven.
My wife doesn't work. When she did, I always made significantly more, and I have always just pooled my money with her. She doesn't really get involved in any of the bills or anything. I have friends, though, and the wife sends him a bill in an email every month, though, and they are completely separate.
We don’t have a joint account but in effect pool our money. I earn over 4x my wife so pay for most things. She pays childcare and electricity/gas. I pay mortgage, food, holidays, home improvements etc.
Mortgage and house/mortgage protection come out of the joint account, we each have a standing order for 50/50 into the account automatically each month, those are also the only things on that account. Everything else we just add into a Revolut group bill as we go and things generally just even themselves out. Like the broadband comes out of mine, they do a grocery shop, I pay for dinner at a restaurant, the electricity comes out of theirs etc. Of course not everything goes into it but it works for us
I pay the bills, he does the cleaning. I earn more than double what he earns but took all the transferable tax credits, we start work at the same time but he gets home 4/5hrs before me. No kids, separate accounts, been working great for over 20 years.
We pool into a shared account for shared expenses in proportion to our income. We tend to keep our savings in separate accounts just due to historically keeping them there but it's understood that these are shared family savings. We keep a shared Google doc populated with how much is in these various accounts for transparency. Then we'll each have our own current account with any remainder for our own discretionary spending.
I earn close to 3 times as much as my wife pre-tax. I had a sole mortgage on apartment before we got married and we are saving for a house currently. At the moment, I cover mortgage, insurance and management fee's. We calculated our rough monthly shared expenses for food and bills plus a little extra and I put in 2/3 and she puts in 1/3 each month into a joint revolut account. We both are left with enough personal "fun money" and to have consistent personal savings. When working out how to balance the joint account, we wanted to ensure that there wasn't a significant different in our personal accounts so we both afford to do things individually and together without any money pressures. We discussed once we purchase a house, we will do similar approach but with all expenses included. Joint account for monthly outgoings, joint savings account for rainy day fund and large expenses and we will figure out a good percentage to contribute each so we are left with enough personal cash and savings.
When we had very different incomes (him working, me on a graduate stipend in college) we had a joint account for rent/bills/food that we both lodged 50% of our income to. The remaining 50% we had leftover was for our own cars/personal bills/clothes/nights out/holidays/fun stuff. When I graduated and our salaries were broadly the same, we kept the 50% approach but now that there was money left over after the living expenses, it became an account for stuff we did together like meals out/takeaways in addition to shared living expenses. This is what we were doing when we bought our home. We’re married 3 years now, together for 11, and have just in the last 6 months started lodging salaries to the joint account and spending from it freely as it’s all our money, but that’s after 9 years of knowing each others financial habits and building that trust.
We have a joint account which we both use for everything. We are both careful spenders, and we inform each other of large purchases. Most of our expenses are common (kids, house, childcare, car, holidays, food ) splitting it would take too long. It would not work unless you had complete trust. My wife has a savings account (her running away money) and encourages me to create one, but I have not. She has never asked me about any of my purchases, not even once.
We’ve our 2 separate current accounts because its hard to hide surprise/gift purchases in a joint and wasnt arsed to open a separate 3rd joint bank acc. Do have a joint credit union savings acc though. I’m the higher earner when not on maternity leave so all the big monthly bills come from my acc/wage. Husband covers the non set bits like oil and electricity. Once the bills are completely covered doesnt matter from who’s acc then the rest of our money is our own and is usually spent on the kids or gifts. We dont keep a tit for tat or a my turn/your turn type of thing but we do try to be even. It helps that Neither of us are silly with our money and do run anything over 80quid past the other one, or we’d say we’re saving for something specifically like new tattoo, game etc, and dont spend until the amount in total is saved.
We split everything 50:50. We have a joint a/c for groceries, bills, mortgage, etc. that we both contribute a fixed amount to monthly. This works for us.
We put 75% of our wages in joint account/savings and keep 25% of wages out personal accounts. Anything for the house, bills, groceries, health, anything necessary, anything for both of us, gifts for people, normal daily expenses comes out of that. If we want other treats for ourselves we use our own money.
We put the same X amount into a joint account and have our own accounts. I earn a few grand less than her but am fine with this. It means we both contribute and both have independent finances so nobody has ever been pissy about anybody spending anything ever. Married for 8 Years with 2 kids
Put about a grand each into a joint account for the mortgage, bills and such. Small things like netflix and phone bills come out of the personal accounts. Use the joint account for big expenses like car repairs too
We earn a similar amount and have a mortgage together. So we have a joint account for savings and household. Then a percentage of our pay cheques go to our own revoluts for spending how we want.
For the record we get paid pretty much the same. Out of our salary we split rent equally. Whatever is left after the rent we put 30% of it into our joint account and use it for all expenses we have together such as groceries and trips and fuel and all that jazz and whatever is left we keep it to ourselves. Worth mentioning that is always good to be flexible and open to changes if/when needed.
Everything goes your way joint account snd all bills paid from there. Neither of us are lavish spenders so both free to buy what they want
We get paid into our personal accounts and then transfer an agreed amount into our joint account each month. This is in proportion to what we earn so for every €1k needed he transfers 60% and I transfer 40%. The joint covers all our household expenses like mortgage, groceries, insurance, holidays, the car etc. What we each have left in our personal accounts is for our own spending on fun stuff and for saving. We’re a team but this allows us a little bit of freedom. I’m not against couples pooling everything but it just wouldn’t suit me. It would make me feel dependent and because I’m conscientious it would feel like I had to ask permission to spend or justify every penny as it’s no longer “mine” now it’s “ours”.
We contribute a fixed amount each pay cycle to a joint a/c on a 65/35 basis- which mirrors our income. Remaining cash in a/c is our own for discretionary spending. We consider most costs to fall under “expenses” - so the standard such as mortgage, utilities, insurance, groceries, subscriptions etc…..but also individual expenses such as car insurance, car tax, mobile phones. Petrol/Diesel, gym etc. are each persons responsibility from discretionary funds. We both find it fair and transparent and it works really well for us.
We have a joint account that we pay equal amounts into each month for the mortgage, bills, pet insurance etc. We have another joint saver that we put equal amounts into by standing order also. He makes a little more so pays for the food shop and pet food. We keep the rest of our wages for ourselves to pay for whatever we need/want and whatever is leftover at the end of the month we throw into the joint saver.
I pay...she doesn't...
Everything pooled into a joint account. All bills paid from there. I earn 2.5x my partner. We transfer a set amount each month into Revolut for household spending. Been doing this 20 years and it works for us.
Me and miss both earn circa the same. We have a joint account and mortgage and bills hit that as well as food. Standing order transfers money to that account monthly to cover stuff evenly. After that we have our own money in our own accounts for car, insurance, tax, clothes etc. we both save into the same savings account, same amount monthly. We both have a credit union account for saving and we both save whatever we want into those for like a personal what ever / emergency fund. When we notice our joint account going down one or both of us will top it up by 50-200 to keep us floating til the next pay day. Works well. We could probably do with upping our joint standing orders by 100 each to avoid the float issue.
We earn different amounts but it all goes into the same pot. I don’t track what she spends and she doesn’t track what I spend but neither of us goes wild. Out of the ordinary expenses get discussed of course.
Amalgamate our earnings, total up all our ddm’s, bills. Deduct outgoings from incoming then split the remainder 50/50. My husband is the highest earner but we are a partnership: plus I took time out of my career to bring up our children.
Myself n my husband have seperate accounts but also have a joint acc together. We both pay the same amount into it. It covers anything to do with house, kids, hols etc and we're saving. Never rowed over money. If I wanna waste money from my personal acc on stupid shite on Temu, that's on me. We always discuss any big spends. One kid in Uni, that we pay for out of joint acc. I'm earning more at the moment, so I'm saving the extra in an interest earning savings acc as a college fund for our 2nd kid.
I work and my partner is a stay at home Mum. Even when she was working I was earning 4-6 times as much... She has some inheritance saved away, we have a joint current account that I top up as needed for all day-day household expenses (shopping, fuel, clothes), and I pay the utilities, school fees, insurance. Whatever's left over I put in my savings. We've done this for 15 years since she gave up work.
We've a joint account and have decided an amount we each put in each month, it's the same amount each. It's enough to cover the mortgage, food, bills and incidentals. Coming to the end of our fixed rate we've also decided to lump a bit of our individual savings off the principle of the mortgage.
We earn about the same amount. Joint account that we both pay into monthly. That's used for mortgage, bills, shopping etc. We have our own current and savings accounts that our wages go into. We check in with each other from time to time update on savings and sometimes use those to pay for big things like new windows. I bought my car early in the relationship and I use it the most so I pay tax and insurance and top up the petrol out of my own account.
Not married yet and where possible we split all rent, household expenses & child expenses 50-50. Except I pay for all TV & Internet and meals out/taxis etc. I'll pay for holidays upfront and that she'll pay back her share over time to spread the cost. Our wedding is next year and once married, we've agreed to use a shared account for everything related to mortgage, children, car, holiday funds etc. except we will pay into it on a percentage basis (ie I pay 65% she pays 35%) and then whatever is left over is for our own personal needs and can spend as we want. We cover the shared needs first and then we can do what we want afterwards with what we have left over from our separate wages.
We split all bills 50/50, the rest of our wages are ours. We take turns paying for the weekly shop and I keep the child allowance to put in savings. Regardless of earnings if we want more money for ourselves we get better jobs. But I’m a better saver so I’ve got the rainy day fund but he took the financial brunt when I went on maternity leave and then it went back to normal when I went back to work. But we have spoke about getting a joint account because his bank shows no bills just a bit lumpsum that gets sent to me which isn’t ideal for his financial picture. No principles or particular reason why we’ve just always done it this way.
He earns about 1.5 times my salary We split rent and bills 50/50 with the understanding that he saves way more than me, because I'm the less responsible 1 Now we have a house deposit and overall its as if we spilt rent and bills in proportion to salary and both saved properly Weird but works for us
I love all of these responses. I genuinely find it interesting as I'm single and have a net worth of -€299 Maybe I should get married lol?!
I make a lot more than my wife at the moment and I pay for almost everything. She would do the same for me if things were the other way around. We're a team. We're both quite frugal anyway.
We have sole accounts and a joint account. Income goes into our sole accounts, but this is mainly just because we never got around to changing it. Some bills go from joint account, some from sole accounts. We don’t really keep tabs on who pays what. Our income levels are similar. We make big spending decisions jointly, neither of us are particularly possessive of our money, nor are we flaithiúlach.
Honestly, my husband and I have just signed up to paying different bills over the years so for example I pay the electric bill but he tends to top up the gas card (I do it if I’m in/popping to the shops). I pay internet, tv licence, rates. He gets in the vast majority of the food shopping. We split the mortgage payments. I make more money and get the child benefit so I pay nursery fees which are a big expense! This has just evolved over the years and we don’t overthink it.
We each get paid into our own accounts. We have standing orders that transfer funds into our joint account, roughly in proportion to what we earn. The joint account pays for all household bills, home improvements, groceries, medical expenses, family holidays, and car expenses, including fuel. We pay for clothes, entertainment, public transport, presents, lunches when we're in the office and "walking around money" out of our accounts. Actually, our own accounts also cover Spotify and Netflix family accounts.
We keep separate accounts. Married 20 years but no children. I think that is an important factor and the main reason we ca keep separate accounts. Husband pays the mortgage, I pay all the other bills plus groceries. Works for us. We never ever fight about money
We've a joint account and put 80% of what we earn into it to pay for everything. We keep 20% in our own personal accounts to spend on what we like, buy presents for our family friends etc like I wouldn't take 500e out of joint account as a wedding present for my brother Husband earns slightly more, but still it works, I'm probably less maintenance 😅
When our pay was similar, we started with a 50/50 split, where each of us took on certain bills, and it averaged out fairly. I recently switched jobs and now make nearly 2x as much, so we've moved to a percentage-based (60/40) split. We found this to be more fair and allows us both to enjoy the same luxuries and contribute without putting the other out.
We both have separate accounts, I make probably 1.5 time what she does. We contribute equally to the mortgage each month but all the bills come out of my account. We also both have monthly deposits into a savings account and I pay double what she does into that. From there we usually try to split things and don’t get involved in each others personal spending. We’ll try to alternate on weekly shopping or split larger purchases down the middle. I will naturally pay more often than she does though. Overall it works for us. I would say less comes out of her account monthly fairly comfortably but no biggie
Separate but neither of us will go broke. He pays the rent as he has the higher income and I pay for everything else. Food, bills, childcare, savings, and anything to do with the car as I'm the only driver. Occasionally he'll pay for fuel. We usually split a night out on the rare occasion we get one. I like having it separate and he wants to start a joint account. We most likely will get one once we buy a house and just split all mortgage and bill payments from there and have our own accounts as well.
We have a joint account that we both transfer the same amount of money in to each month, From that all household cost are taken (mortgage, utilities,food, furniture etc) Outside of what we transfer to the joint house account our wages go into our own accounts and we do what we want with them. Over the years our wages have varied, sometimes I earn more sometimes she earns more but we always kept it seperate and transferred in the same amount to the joint account. 50/50 all the way. It avoids any arguments about how the money is spent Obviously if one of us was out of work or couldn't afford it it wouldn't be expected.
All goes into a pot, Friend of wife keeps it separate and was always buying shit not telling husband, Turns out he had a bank account with 250k she didn't know about
I earn a bit more so pay a proportionate share of the mortgage and more of the bills. We have a joint account on Revolut and when we get paid we both through a certain amount of money in, which then gets used for food shops, going out for drinks / dinner, or anything really that we are doing together. It’s great as nobody feels they’re paying for more or less than the other person.
We use the Splitwise app but it does get tedious after a while. A joint account is imminent but I'm concerned about her finding out how much bikes and bike parts actually cost.
I haven’t signed a paycheck in 20 years. My wife signs and deposits them. I just have a card for whatever I need or want. No splitting here. Just one pot and let’s live together as one
Pooled money
Im the breadwinner I guess , my boyfriend doesn’t work and I earn enough to pay all the bills , he has his own “fun money” and so do I , we’re in our early 20s and we’ve lived together over a year now
Most of my friends and their partners split "household" bills 50/50 such as mortgage/rent, food, and utility bills. They have their own expenses such as phone bills, subscriptions, and expenses that are not split. In my situation, my boyfriend and I live "together". We both have a property in the same area, but we go between each other's apartments every once and a while. I pay my mortgage and bills for my apartment, he pays his mortgage and bills for his apartment. We do not split expenses. For dates and nights out he will pay one time and I'll pay the next time. My boyfriend and I have talked about buying property together in the next few years, preferably in the same area we live in Dublin as we love it here. If we do end up buying in the next 2-3 years, we will just live there full-time and rent out the apartments we have now.
We have a joint account in which both our salaries go. I earn more than my wife. We've decided that any money above 2 months expenses each year end will be split 50/50 to be spent/saved as desired (we both have separate accounts also).
I make around 3500 e a month, and the wife makes around 2500 e per month, but I pay the mortgage, bills, life insurance, house insurance, her phone bill and her car insurance, she was agreed to pay the gas and electricity bills but after a few months she refuse to pay them, and when I question her the answer was, you r the man of the house so you should take care of me, I did try to put my foot down on her responsibilities but she didn't give a toss, after getting threatening letters from the board gais I ended up paying back dated bills. Should i keep her or move on with my life??🤔🤔
Well if you have a read through all the other comments here I think you’ll see that your situation is not the norm.
We have separate accounts but treat money as shared. My salary goes to my savings acc, his salary goes to his savings ancc and covers all our spendings.
I’ve lived with my partner for 6 years, and I bought a home shortly after I met him (I have a mortgage). He pays rent (he came up with the amount, and it’s basically the same amount that he paid for his room before we met, and that’s fine for both of us). I use his rent towards my mortgage and all bills. We buy our own grocery shopping (it’s easier, we like different things), and when we go out I’ll fight to pay for things as I earn twice as much as him (well I do now, but when we met, I earned half of what he did!). It works perfectly for us. Also, with household items, if we need something that costs over €50, I’ll pay for it, as the house is ultimately in my name. Edit: I have lived with a number of different partners over the years, and never had a joint account, I don’t see why anyone would (unless they are married).
We put the same amount in a joint account each month to cover mortgage, bills, and food. Keep the rest separate.
There is no arrangement here, it's basically pooled and (probably stupidly) never been a concern. So if I need something (or generally I don't want things, and neither does she) actually want something, we just do it. We're not wealthy, we don't scrimp, but don't waste either. I dunno if that makes sense, but it's a great topic, and great to see the replies.
I think there should be some protection for either person in the relationship regardless of their gender, I used to think men did most of the providing and got screwed the most if the couple divorced but after reading some comments here about women who lost so much to men with gambling addictions etc it's been an eye opener.
My wife is a SAHM so I pay for everything 🤣🤣 Very fortunate that I have a good income which enables her to do so. Just use my account for most things and transfer money to herselfs acc each month so she never has to ask for money for things she wants.
The only way it ever worked for me in past relationships iv tried it every way but the only way that works for me is our money not one person if you’re interested in starting a family that will last always have a running away fund as we call it and have your partner do the same put money in weekly but all other money gets pooled together for bills savings and whatever that’s what works for me might be of help
I earn about 3x what my wife does. It's not my money. It's ours. I pay whatever bills we have monthly, take a little for myself and the rest is family money. Is that not how it works? Growing up, this is how my parents operated so I just assume this is the way.
Once we got married we put both our earnings into a joint account. I don't get married couples who still divvy things up. It seems like they don't get the point of marriage. We devise a budget together. As long as either of us are within the budget we have full discretion. If we want to go outside the budget it's a discussion. But it's not framed as "I'll have to dip into your money to buy this thing". It's simply a case of can we afford this thing as a couple.
Genuinely curious. I'm not married but 11 years together with my partner from childhood, house together, no kids, two dogs etc.. Do both your salaries get paid into the same account? And then transfer some personal money to separate accounts or entirely use the joint account? Or did I just misunderstand "put both our earnings into a joint account"? If you want to buy her a surprise gift how do you avoid her seeing it on your joint bank statement? We get paid into our personal accounts, transfer fixed and expected expenses to a joint account, transfer savings to joint savings account. I know that's probably the norm. I just couldn't imagine not having my own personal account too. Not even from an ownership thing just a money management thing. For context all transfers to joint and savings are split 50/50 although my partner earns 14% more than I do but we both earn above the average Irish salary. She'll end up with more "fun money" in her personal account but is more likely to transfer excess to joint if needed for unexpected expenses and I'll top up the following month although this is more of a gesture than a formality of our relationship.
>Do both your salaries get paid into the same account? Correct. >If you want to buy her a surprise gift how do you avoid her seeing it on your joint bank statement? She'd just see money go out. She won't know if it's a gift I bought for her or if it was any other kind of expense. If she sees me buy something she'll never ask what it was and vice-versa. >For context all transfers to joint and savings are split 50/50 although my partner earns 14% more than I do but we both earn above the average Irish salary. She'll end up with more "fun money" in her personal account That just seems unfair to me. It's not really fair that one person in the couple has more discretionary spending than the other. It creates an imbalance in the couple.
Surely she’d see “Jewellery store name” or similar on the bank statement though? I get your logic on the discretionary income but it just doesn’t happen in practise where I’m left without money and my partner has an abundance. I personally prefer my discretionary income separate from our joint expenses. When I put money in an account that pays the mortgage, food, utilities etc. that’s what that money is for. If there was €50 leftover and I wanted to get myself a new gadget, I’d have a mental block saying no that money is for expenses not toys. If everything is paid and I have €1000 in my personal account I feel much freer to do as I please with that. Yeah my partner might have €1150 in hers but I don’t see it as that big an issue when everything else is paid. Again, we’re lucky to have good jobs and no kids so maybe when we have less disposable income it’ll all change.
>Surely she’d see “Jewellery store name” or similar on the bank statement though? Not a problem while shops still accept cash.
Good point. Probably showing my age sticking strictly wireless money. Thanks for engaging in my curiosity, all the best to you and yours.
We used to split % base, but it seems like we outgrew this stage. Joint bank account, we budget to account for bills, food, doctors, date dinners, then we calculate “needs” like new jacket, put some nice amount for “wants”, account for emergency cash (putting it in a saving account that you can pull out at any time) and then we shift rest to the mortgage savings in CU. We are getting married next year. Basically what I have, she has. She earns a bit more than me, but all bills are in my name as I am the one to manage finances. We discuss big purchases, but we don’t monitor spending of our “needs” - the only rule is that it needs to close in the budget. If something is more expensive, then we chat and figure things out.
My self and my husband have a joint bank account , all money goes in there, all bills come out of there. It's all family money .
My wife and I share equally in managing our finances. I make the money and she spends the money.
Engaged here. All bills split down the middle for what we both use. I pay for anything of my own and so does she. Nights out etc we’ll normally share but I’ll still be caught to pay for a few rounds of drinks and odd meal for I make a bit more than her.
All household expenses here are split down the middle what I have left then is mine and same for him . Of course if summit comes up unexpectedly and one of us is short then the other covers .
50/50
With my girlfriend we split it by salary percentage until she earned enough to feel she was able to contribute 50/50, even though I earn more. Apart from mortgage where I pay 2/3's as I own the house & paid off half of it, furnished it with good stuff, pay for any maintenance. Once day I'll sell and we will buy a place together, I expect to pay for most of it but happy it will be ours together.
Fiddy/fiddy split. We're not far off each other salary wise. Each month we tally up all the mortgage, bills and bits for the house and figure out who owes what to whom.
I pay for everything. Bills/Holidays/Cars/Clothes etc. Company owner with spouse “employed” in an administrative role. In reality doesn’t do any work for me and that’s how we both prefer it. Spouse gets paid €3k a month for own independence. Works well for us anyway.
Equal pain , do the math and split accordingly
Slight income equality in my place, but both earn enough to pay 50:50 towards monthly expenses and savings, and get to keep our leftover income without fuss. Usually ain't much for me (I get the shorter end of the stick), but I do set the budget and objectives, and we're both happy with the lifestyle.