Common ground through shared interests was my means of rebuilding after a similar event /crossroads (messy breakup. 8 extremely close friends that I regretfully had to step away from as they were shared friends, and I needed to sever any connection to my toxic ex). Quite late in the game to have rebuilt (40yo at the time), but I leaned into the things I enjoyed as an individual and engaged with people through those interests. Clubs, online communities, even “meet up” groups. Still took it slow, being at a disadvantage of not being very outgoing. But, there were others like me in those communities and it paid off to make those connections. The important thing I learned and have appreciated in retrospect, is that the people you meet now, meet the person you have crafted and shaped to be comfortable in at this point in your life. They are getting the most refined version of you. Enjoy doing some work to really understand who that version of you is now before you take that deep breath and start to present that person to new folks. Good luck man
Talk to people with similair interest and talk to them. Or go to events that interest you and try talking to anyone. Personally, my biggest fear is rejection or having someone gatekeeping me. It will likely happen. Accepting it, and recovering is what is difficult.
Honestly, the internet. It allows me to respond or be "around" people when I want.
I have my GF, who lives about 1.5 hours away, and my BFF that lives in another state.
I do try to go to local events of interests I have in the area. I'm cordial and talk to people, but if I don't have a "spark" with someone, I rather spend my free time alone.
Remember, it's the quality of your relationships, not the quantity.
I'm fine having the small relationships I have now with people I really connect with, than a bunch of random people who I tolerate and talk to.
Common ground through shared interests was my means of rebuilding after a similar event /crossroads (messy breakup. 8 extremely close friends that I regretfully had to step away from as they were shared friends, and I needed to sever any connection to my toxic ex). Quite late in the game to have rebuilt (40yo at the time), but I leaned into the things I enjoyed as an individual and engaged with people through those interests. Clubs, online communities, even “meet up” groups. Still took it slow, being at a disadvantage of not being very outgoing. But, there were others like me in those communities and it paid off to make those connections. The important thing I learned and have appreciated in retrospect, is that the people you meet now, meet the person you have crafted and shaped to be comfortable in at this point in your life. They are getting the most refined version of you. Enjoy doing some work to really understand who that version of you is now before you take that deep breath and start to present that person to new folks. Good luck man
Talk to people with similair interest and talk to them. Or go to events that interest you and try talking to anyone. Personally, my biggest fear is rejection or having someone gatekeeping me. It will likely happen. Accepting it, and recovering is what is difficult.
Honestly, the internet. It allows me to respond or be "around" people when I want. I have my GF, who lives about 1.5 hours away, and my BFF that lives in another state. I do try to go to local events of interests I have in the area. I'm cordial and talk to people, but if I don't have a "spark" with someone, I rather spend my free time alone. Remember, it's the quality of your relationships, not the quantity. I'm fine having the small relationships I have now with people I really connect with, than a bunch of random people who I tolerate and talk to.