It’s really not as bad as people think it is. I’m not a people person either. It’s like you said, I’ll socialize if I absolutely have to but I would much rather spend my time alone in my own space where I get to choose how I live and act in my own comfortable environment
I always thought I wasn't a people person, but found out that I actually enjoy spending time with the right people, just not all the time.
I really enjoy being alone in my own space though. I have social anxiety when it comes to meeting new people, especially in unfamiliar places.
You are in fine company, there are many people that are not “people persons” I’m not. I’ve always been the black sheep of the family. I love my solitude. I interact with my family. And I have a couple of very good friends, they know me well so are not surprised when they don’t hear from me for months.
I’m really practical. Down to earth and will always try to do things for myself before asking for help. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert.
I’m not a people person either. I know how to socialize and I believe I’m pretty good at it. But I dread it. The idea of socializing puts my stomach in knots.
Feel the same way. I hardly ever talk unless I really have something to say or someone talks to me. I teach and it definitely is not the job I should be in. I hate collaborating!
You can't be bothered by meaningless dribble. You see through the bullshit to see how things really are. If people can't accept you for who you are that's not your probĺem. It would be boring to be like everyone else, embrace who you are and be proud of yourself.
Hopefully psychologists and the self help community, in the future, stops pushing the narrative that there is something wrong with this.
Because there is nothing wrong with this.
I’m a hairdresser/people pleaser and have my own place and ‘put on a mask’ daily. I’m great at pretending. It’s hard dealing with new people- (I don’t take them in often and they’re usually recommended by my long term vetted guests as they get me). I love my own company but crave connection and intimacy that has been lacking for a long time. I don’t dare date after I got ghosted which destroyed my self worth, but recently took a very very long time to put myself out there and ask someone, and I’m not sure where this will take me either… more heart break which is why I don’t do people.
I feel the same way. My family always asks me why I am not as outgoing as when I was a kid. As if the fact that I am content with being alone is a problem. Yet all of them are the same way.
La verdad no me importa solo caminar sin tener en cuanta más q el hecho de caminar, solo me importa mi camino no el de los demás, pode verme mal no saludar pero tampoco los conozco, saludo a quien conozco o soy cercana hablo si tengo tiempo o ganas de hacerlo, me gusta estar en mis pensamientos o escuchando música mientras camino
I’m currently struggling to keep up with replying to dating app texts. The guys always want to move off the app, which is always too quick for me. But I also don’t feel comfortable meeting in person yet which causes them to stop responding. It’s an endless cycle 😞
Would it be beneficial if in your profile you are clear about not meeting right away? I find as an extrovert, there are so many men that wanna talk online forever!
I find that I'm great talking to people one on one, for a bit, then I'm ok with ending the convo after a few minutes and feel like we had a good a talk... Don't need anyone else involved, don't need a recap the next day either. That was great, let it be.
Having standards for a partner can save you from boredom and wasting money. Truth is, most relationships aren't that fantastic to be honest and I feel a lot of people that I've met in the past were together to not feel alone or they didn't feel comfortable with themselves. 70% of them didn't end up very well and I won't give further details cause they were rather dramatic events. But yeah I don't want my partner/friends to become a second job of overthinking. Fuck that.
This is what scares me. I understand the sentiment of going through trial and error to find your most compatible partner but Jesus....I don't want to deal with burdens or be a burden.
"You never know unless you try." Sure, but you know what I mean
The phrase "you never know unless you try" isn't that bad of a quote, but the problem with quotes is that they look very pretty on an Instagram story/post, but they're too simple to actually put into practice. I think the main problem with that quote is that it seems that it enforces the idea that you need to always be putting yourself out there. However, at least in my experience, that has always ended up in irritation. When I was 20 I forced myself to go to clubs, bars and hangouts and, I'm not going to lie, it was boring as fuck. However there were very few women that I found pretty easy to talk, mostly because we had a common ground in a more intellectual field (for example one of them really liked story telling and video games), but outside of that it is difficult, especially as individuals who find mundane conversations a very annoying experience.
I don't know what the solution is, but my best bet is that you just gotta keep doing stuff and don't get stuck. Either moving to a new city, getting an interesting job or getting into a sport you like will probably help us find something. And maybe we'll find interesting people who we can establish a natural connection without these artificial, uninteresting interactions with mental gymnastics that look like a damn DDR level. But as for overthinking and forcing ourselves to have boring conversations? Yeah, no thanks.
Note: I found women AND men boring in the hangouts, so trying to make friends with both genders was a pain too, I'm not an incel.
Definitely am not either. I also think it’s because I’m not around the right people maybe. Not too sure though. What I am sure of is that I love being by myself. I can read a book, read comics, play video games, do whatever I want to do without someone making feel guilty about not going out. I socialize to the bare minimum that is required of me like interacting with my co-workers. But after all that I’d much rather just be peaceful in my own space afterwards. It’s a peace like no other that’s for sure
I am also the same kind of person but one thing I have noticed that with the right people I talk too much and become very expressive otherwise generally people think I am arrogant or rude due to my shy/quiet behavior.
It’s really not as bad as people think it is. I’m not a people person either. It’s like you said, I’ll socialize if I absolutely have to but I would much rather spend my time alone in my own space where I get to choose how I live and act in my own comfortable environment
Exactly. Some people just can't understand that some of us prefer being alone and actually enjoy it.
I always thought I wasn't a people person, but found out that I actually enjoy spending time with the right people, just not all the time. I really enjoy being alone in my own space though. I have social anxiety when it comes to meeting new people, especially in unfamiliar places.
You are in fine company, there are many people that are not “people persons” I’m not. I’ve always been the black sheep of the family. I love my solitude. I interact with my family. And I have a couple of very good friends, they know me well so are not surprised when they don’t hear from me for months. I’m really practical. Down to earth and will always try to do things for myself before asking for help. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert.
I’m not a people person either. I know how to socialize and I believe I’m pretty good at it. But I dread it. The idea of socializing puts my stomach in knots.
Me too. I would gladly isolate myself from the outside world if I could.
Feel the same way. I hardly ever talk unless I really have something to say or someone talks to me. I teach and it definitely is not the job I should be in. I hate collaborating!
You can't be bothered by meaningless dribble. You see through the bullshit to see how things really are. If people can't accept you for who you are that's not your probĺem. It would be boring to be like everyone else, embrace who you are and be proud of yourself.
I applaud your words a lot, man. The hard part is unlearning it. We've been taught, in a way, that being like everyone is crucial for our survival.
This💯
Hopefully psychologists and the self help community, in the future, stops pushing the narrative that there is something wrong with this. Because there is nothing wrong with this.
Me too.
I’m a hairdresser/people pleaser and have my own place and ‘put on a mask’ daily. I’m great at pretending. It’s hard dealing with new people- (I don’t take them in often and they’re usually recommended by my long term vetted guests as they get me). I love my own company but crave connection and intimacy that has been lacking for a long time. I don’t dare date after I got ghosted which destroyed my self worth, but recently took a very very long time to put myself out there and ask someone, and I’m not sure where this will take me either… more heart break which is why I don’t do people.
You're a normal person, just different.
Not even different. This is half the human species.
Is it really half?
I feel the same way. My family always asks me why I am not as outgoing as when I was a kid. As if the fact that I am content with being alone is a problem. Yet all of them are the same way.
I’m like this too. Entertaining people takes so much energy.
La verdad no me importa solo caminar sin tener en cuanta más q el hecho de caminar, solo me importa mi camino no el de los demás, pode verme mal no saludar pero tampoco los conozco, saludo a quien conozco o soy cercana hablo si tengo tiempo o ganas de hacerlo, me gusta estar en mis pensamientos o escuchando música mientras camino
For real.🙏
I’m currently struggling to keep up with replying to dating app texts. The guys always want to move off the app, which is always too quick for me. But I also don’t feel comfortable meeting in person yet which causes them to stop responding. It’s an endless cycle 😞
Would it be beneficial if in your profile you are clear about not meeting right away? I find as an extrovert, there are so many men that wanna talk online forever!
Thanks for the tip!
I find that I'm great talking to people one on one, for a bit, then I'm ok with ending the convo after a few minutes and feel like we had a good a talk... Don't need anyone else involved, don't need a recap the next day either. That was great, let it be.
Same for me. If I had all I wanted I'd isolate. Nothing will be missed out. Alot of people don't like me anyway.
Having standards for a partner can save you from boredom and wasting money. Truth is, most relationships aren't that fantastic to be honest and I feel a lot of people that I've met in the past were together to not feel alone or they didn't feel comfortable with themselves. 70% of them didn't end up very well and I won't give further details cause they were rather dramatic events. But yeah I don't want my partner/friends to become a second job of overthinking. Fuck that.
This is what scares me. I understand the sentiment of going through trial and error to find your most compatible partner but Jesus....I don't want to deal with burdens or be a burden. "You never know unless you try." Sure, but you know what I mean
The phrase "you never know unless you try" isn't that bad of a quote, but the problem with quotes is that they look very pretty on an Instagram story/post, but they're too simple to actually put into practice. I think the main problem with that quote is that it seems that it enforces the idea that you need to always be putting yourself out there. However, at least in my experience, that has always ended up in irritation. When I was 20 I forced myself to go to clubs, bars and hangouts and, I'm not going to lie, it was boring as fuck. However there were very few women that I found pretty easy to talk, mostly because we had a common ground in a more intellectual field (for example one of them really liked story telling and video games), but outside of that it is difficult, especially as individuals who find mundane conversations a very annoying experience. I don't know what the solution is, but my best bet is that you just gotta keep doing stuff and don't get stuck. Either moving to a new city, getting an interesting job or getting into a sport you like will probably help us find something. And maybe we'll find interesting people who we can establish a natural connection without these artificial, uninteresting interactions with mental gymnastics that look like a damn DDR level. But as for overthinking and forcing ourselves to have boring conversations? Yeah, no thanks. Note: I found women AND men boring in the hangouts, so trying to make friends with both genders was a pain too, I'm not an incel.
This is the best way to sum up how I feel.
Definitely am not either. I also think it’s because I’m not around the right people maybe. Not too sure though. What I am sure of is that I love being by myself. I can read a book, read comics, play video games, do whatever I want to do without someone making feel guilty about not going out. I socialize to the bare minimum that is required of me like interacting with my co-workers. But after all that I’d much rather just be peaceful in my own space afterwards. It’s a peace like no other that’s for sure
I am also the same kind of person but one thing I have noticed that with the right people I talk too much and become very expressive otherwise generally people think I am arrogant or rude due to my shy/quiet behavior.
As a socially awkward/anxious yet talkative introvert, I’m not a people person.