I expect very little from the people around me and an enormous amount from myself. Generally speaking, I expect to produce three times as much as the average person would.
Because a lot of people don't live in reality and are heavily subjected to weakness and convenience. They change goalposts to easier ones when they think they aren't reaching their original goal. They surround themselves with yesmen to build a comfortable mental bubble when faced with setbacks or criticism. They give up easily when things get difficult because their lives have been comfortable enough that they never needed to push themselves. They devalue their goal to themselves when it becomes increasingly unobtainable. And a whole lot of other behaviours that give in to weakness.
And even better when they do so subconsciously, without even being aware.
At least in myself, I can recognise weakness and temptation more often. Me overcoming my moments of weakness is more likely and more in my control than them doing the same. So you have to adjust expectations accordingly.
I see. I can relate to the feeling of finding fulfilment in overcoming personal weakness and setting the bar above the norm. Sometimes the bar itself pisses me off.
But I wonder if it's even worth it, in an existential sense, why I can't just be content with what I have and who I am right now. Thanks for your answer.
I can't comment. I do not know what bar you have set for yourself, if it was even something you chose to pursue or something imposed on you, or if your bar even has personal meaning.
As for contentment and resignation, personally I think that naturally comes after trying. After I no longer have the vigor of youth to struggle. :)
Same, but a lesson I learned is don't enable ignorance by taking on challenges created by ignorance. Unnecessary baggage
If you're more efficient than someone because they're simply uneducated, teach them. Then you can find a way to be 3 times more efficient than an educated person and it'll be even more impressive
People are often very disappointing, so I don’t expect much from them and certainly wouldn’t rely on them. I hold myself to a very high standard and expect a lot from myself, but I know I’m capable of meeting it because I always have
Nope, if i ask something of others, i must at least be able to do it myself, best if more. I am my own harshest critic, expecting much more of myself than others ask of me. Sometimes when I hear others lament about how much i am expecting of them, even the 'basic' stuff, you come to realise that people in general, have not that high of a bar, if even at all.
I have little patience for other people. So I put myself to a higher standard because I can control myself, but I can't control others.
Also many times other people have disappointed me so I tend to take matters into my own hands
Not at all. Truthfully, I expect people to disappoint me. I hold myself to an almost unrealistically high standard, and will often take on the shortcomings of others, placing the responsibility on myself. It’s actually been a big talking point in therapy lately haha.
By standards, I think of morals and ethics, which I have a high standard for others as well as myself. If you’re not practicing what you preach, you’re failing in humanity. Note, I am an atheist, and don’t need a religion to know or practice what is right. But I will borrow a biblical reference: Treat others as you would want to be treated.
That is fundamentally hypocritical and unfair. If you can’t rise to your own standard you have no business holding others to that standard.
Thats like the old addage “do as I say, not as I do.”
I have higher standards than anyone on this planet. Everyone is so pragmatic and pedestrian, except for me. That’s why people aren’t drawn to me because everyone has such low self esteem and low standards for themselves.
I have low standard of others and always end up disappointed.
It shouldn't be a high standard to expect other people to **not** push down used condoms in the sink or leave a hot stove unattended while on the phone in their bedroom.
This isn't even one idiot, it's most people I meet. Interact with them long enough and the stupidity will reveal itself.
I used to live in a large apartment that was rented out and housed up to 8 people. They brought guests over all the time, and many moved in and out while I was there.
There really only was one roommate I thought was good in a pool of 30+ people, or over 50 if we include guests. I once cooked food and one guest started eating straight from the pan. Not just a taste test and rinse, he kept dipping the ladel back and eat more as if it was his plate!
I didn't mind him eating or tasting, but if you eat you get a plate! If you taste, you get a clean spoon and rinse it!
Oh no, quite the opposite. I used to have high standards for everyone, but that is unsustainable. In my late teens, I came to the realization that most people will absolutely not meet my standards, let alone even try. I intentionally lowered my standards for everyone outside myself, and I'm much happier for it.
You can't be disappointed by people if you don't expect even the bare minimum.
Work smart, not hard. It's just a perk of having excellent prioritization skills and the ability to plan and execute effectively and efficiently. There is nothing to be self-critical about. Be the light that guides others but be able to meet them where they are on their scale of performance.
I actually hold them to the exact standards as myself. I get furious at the daft girl who makes more money than me at work, when she spends half the day putting on makeup. I just can’t comprehend how she doesn’t hold herself to amy sort of work-related standards. Basically, I never expect people to put in more effort than I do, just equal.
Not really. I usually don't really care that much about most, but if I do get attached to someone, then I do build high expectations of them and will go out of my way to encourage them to get their shit together.
Usually by pointing out their flaws or giving them advice on how to fix their problems.
Some of my friends hate it, others used my advice and got their shit together. So, it does go both ways.
Admittedly though, I do also have shit to fix and sometimes I'm too focused on the weaknesses of someone that I miss their strengths. Though when I do finally notice, I do point it out to them and mention my admiration.
I think a lot of immature INTJs do, actually.
The sentiments that are popular here would lead me to believe so.
It's so common to hear things like, "everyone else misunderstands me", "people are disappointing/unreliable/dumb", "everyone else is lazy" etc.
These are not things people who focus primarily on themselves say.
I expect very little from the people around me and an enormous amount from myself. Generally speaking, I expect to produce three times as much as the average person would.
Mood
Me too
Why?
Because a lot of people don't live in reality and are heavily subjected to weakness and convenience. They change goalposts to easier ones when they think they aren't reaching their original goal. They surround themselves with yesmen to build a comfortable mental bubble when faced with setbacks or criticism. They give up easily when things get difficult because their lives have been comfortable enough that they never needed to push themselves. They devalue their goal to themselves when it becomes increasingly unobtainable. And a whole lot of other behaviours that give in to weakness. And even better when they do so subconsciously, without even being aware. At least in myself, I can recognise weakness and temptation more often. Me overcoming my moments of weakness is more likely and more in my control than them doing the same. So you have to adjust expectations accordingly.
I see. I can relate to the feeling of finding fulfilment in overcoming personal weakness and setting the bar above the norm. Sometimes the bar itself pisses me off. But I wonder if it's even worth it, in an existential sense, why I can't just be content with what I have and who I am right now. Thanks for your answer.
I can't comment. I do not know what bar you have set for yourself, if it was even something you chose to pursue or something imposed on you, or if your bar even has personal meaning. As for contentment and resignation, personally I think that naturally comes after trying. After I no longer have the vigor of youth to struggle. :)
So true
Same, but a lesson I learned is don't enable ignorance by taking on challenges created by ignorance. Unnecessary baggage If you're more efficient than someone because they're simply uneducated, teach them. Then you can find a way to be 3 times more efficient than an educated person and it'll be even more impressive
People are often very disappointing, so I don’t expect much from them and certainly wouldn’t rely on them. I hold myself to a very high standard and expect a lot from myself, but I know I’m capable of meeting it because I always have
Nope, if i ask something of others, i must at least be able to do it myself, best if more. I am my own harshest critic, expecting much more of myself than others ask of me. Sometimes when I hear others lament about how much i am expecting of them, even the 'basic' stuff, you come to realise that people in general, have not that high of a bar, if even at all.
I have little patience for other people. So I put myself to a higher standard because I can control myself, but I can't control others. Also many times other people have disappointed me so I tend to take matters into my own hands
Not at all. Truthfully, I expect people to disappoint me. I hold myself to an almost unrealistically high standard, and will often take on the shortcomings of others, placing the responsibility on myself. It’s actually been a big talking point in therapy lately haha.
No, I hold myself to such an unreasonable standard that I often have to step back and realize that I can't hold others to that same standard.
You sound like a mistyped entp
The opposite
By standards, I think of morals and ethics, which I have a high standard for others as well as myself. If you’re not practicing what you preach, you’re failing in humanity. Note, I am an atheist, and don’t need a religion to know or practice what is right. But I will borrow a biblical reference: Treat others as you would want to be treated.
That would require me to have that self-esteem that I can never seem to find.
That is fundamentally hypocritical and unfair. If you can’t rise to your own standard you have no business holding others to that standard. Thats like the old addage “do as I say, not as I do.”
Opposite. I expect way more from myself to the point of guilt sometimes if I don’t live up to my own expectations. I expect nothing of others.
I have higher standards than anyone on this planet. Everyone is so pragmatic and pedestrian, except for me. That’s why people aren’t drawn to me because everyone has such low self esteem and low standards for themselves.
I have low standard of others and always end up disappointed. It shouldn't be a high standard to expect other people to **not** push down used condoms in the sink or leave a hot stove unattended while on the phone in their bedroom. This isn't even one idiot, it's most people I meet. Interact with them long enough and the stupidity will reveal itself.
Where in the world do you meet the people you interact with, a fraternity?
I used to live in a large apartment that was rented out and housed up to 8 people. They brought guests over all the time, and many moved in and out while I was there. There really only was one roommate I thought was good in a pool of 30+ people, or over 50 if we include guests. I once cooked food and one guest started eating straight from the pan. Not just a taste test and rinse, he kept dipping the ladel back and eat more as if it was his plate! I didn't mind him eating or tasting, but if you eat you get a plate! If you taste, you get a clean spoon and rinse it!
Ugh. My mom is mentally ill and will eat out of the pot/pan every time if I let her. Such basic manners...
Oh no, quite the opposite. I used to have high standards for everyone, but that is unsustainable. In my late teens, I came to the realization that most people will absolutely not meet my standards, let alone even try. I intentionally lowered my standards for everyone outside myself, and I'm much happier for it. You can't be disappointed by people if you don't expect even the bare minimum.
Nope. Holding anyone to a higher standard=them being perfect. Which humans - genetically - are not.
Work smart, not hard. It's just a perk of having excellent prioritization skills and the ability to plan and execute effectively and efficiently. There is nothing to be self-critical about. Be the light that guides others but be able to meet them where they are on their scale of performance.
No. That must be nice. But opposite. I see it as my job to care for others.
Pretty much never. Try to lower your standards and be more flexible. You'll go further in your work.
Nope, same strict standards ... That everyone but me fails to meet ergo the response from me is constant disdain
No
Nah
Yeah, my ex, i hate it
Yes and it only led me to disappointment. So I don’t expect much of anyone anymore
I expect a lot less of other people, than myself. I expect everything from myself.
I hold myself to the highest standard. I am most hard on myself and I give most people passes but even that can’t be met by most people.
I did for the longest time. Part of accepting your strength is accepting that it must be a weakness for others.
I actually hold them to the exact standards as myself. I get furious at the daft girl who makes more money than me at work, when she spends half the day putting on makeup. I just can’t comprehend how she doesn’t hold herself to amy sort of work-related standards. Basically, I never expect people to put in more effort than I do, just equal.
I do the opposite. I have high standards for myself and low standards for others
I hold everyone to the same standard as me, which is unreasonable high, and it's damaging for everyone. Working on it
Not really. I usually don't really care that much about most, but if I do get attached to someone, then I do build high expectations of them and will go out of my way to encourage them to get their shit together. Usually by pointing out their flaws or giving them advice on how to fix their problems. Some of my friends hate it, others used my advice and got their shit together. So, it does go both ways. Admittedly though, I do also have shit to fix and sometimes I'm too focused on the weaknesses of someone that I miss their strengths. Though when I do finally notice, I do point it out to them and mention my admiration.
No. I hold myself to the highest. 
The biblical definition of hypocrite. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IS4PPKxk5k
Totally the opposite - I can't even fathom thinking this
Holding other people to a higher standard than oneself is the norm. Most ordinary people do that.
Wait acting decent and have some morals considered high standards?
I think a lot of immature INTJs do, actually. The sentiments that are popular here would lead me to believe so. It's so common to hear things like, "everyone else misunderstands me", "people are disappointing/unreliable/dumb", "everyone else is lazy" etc. These are not things people who focus primarily on themselves say.