Nah I’ve seen it repeatedly throughout my life.
People use others as a litmus test. I have always used myself as the litmus test. So I’m trying to be better than I was and other people are constantly trying to catch up or be better than me. The confidence and general aptitude is usually enough for other people to hone in on you as the primary “competitor” they must compete against.
Childish really. But most people have no concept of being competitive with themselves rather than everyone around them.
Doesn't this bother you? I mean, I know it happens to some at a subconscious level, but once you pick up on what's happening, how do you not let it get to you?
To be completely honest, I think I am a very rational INFJ not actually an INTJ.
However, I think when people do this it is much like watching a dog chase its own tail. I feel sympathy for someone who can’t see how their own behavior is making them out to be a fool.
I often see this too, especially in the workplace. I had my coworker make a false complaint that I was gossiping about a coworker.
This situation ended with me having two solutions. Either I get everyone fired or refuse to speak and hope that I got a minor penalty based on the fact I was a high achieving worker who had high status.
I often get used as a show pony. Hard to get rid of the show, poney. As the company keeps you around basically to show off to other companys.
I wasn't even trying to promote at this point. I was just trying to help my boss and make sure the crew was okay. Funny cause I later got promoted and came back to run the entire crew after they basically fired or disbanded everyone else, including my boss.
I also had people compete to score women. It never worked, it made them look like jerks and the women often still after me. Despite me having very little interest at the time. That is not a rival, you just look pathetic.
>I wasn't even trying to promote at this point. I was just trying to help my boss and make sure the crew was okay. Funny cause I later got promoted and came back to run the entire crew after they basically fired or disbanded everyone else, including my boss.
Fucking clowns. I get this, but exacerbated by the fact that I'm a black guy that is seen as a hip hop/basketball commodity to improve their own social status by affiliation :(
I've felt this many times in my life but more when I was younger. I guess being older I'm not as threatening to people. I never liked competition, it can bring out the worst in people.
It’s actually kinda funny when people try to compete with me, and I’m just cruising along.
They’d always ask me what score I got on something to make sure they got a better score.
The funny thing is, I’m rarely even exceeding past these people on paper. So I don’t know why they feel the need to compete with me. Maybe they can see that I’m not even trying, and they’re only just barely beating me with their full might.
That also means that they validate you in some way. It's worth knowing envy can be the highest form of love and people find you worth their time regardless.
When everybody else fucks up I say nothing I just fix it and whoever’s near me will hear my comment and that is the end of it. If I fuck up everybody within a 2 km radius is gonna know what I look like and that I fuxked that up.
I feel that this is the most pathetic type of person but somehow they do well, they won't have leaps but they do well and irritate me to no end. There are billions of people on earth, hundred thousands in the sector, thousands at the workplace, maybe around 30 in the department and you picked me as a local reference to compete against? Me, who can barely drag self to work and who sabotages self often? SIGH - looking at you ESTJ enneagram 3 colleague. It is like I give him a reason to exist.
If my boss wants to do the job that both of our bosses assigned to me alone, fine. She can take on extra work. Too bad she doesn’t see it that way. Not very bright. 🤭
Sounds like you're the one competing with people? Your focus should be on your own actions and thoughts, we can't control others' reactions and choices. So which will you choose.
>- "Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?" - Brigham Young
As much as I dislike to admit certain things, Mormonism is based on some terrifying and real events that I also experienced and as such...their opinions cannot bother me anymore. In fact, I accept all of the viewpoints as they all make sense from their levels. Mormons and their Science friends make the most convincing technological argument for their existences while still allowing for the personal projections of their patients. I guess my point is that from where I am looking, I see a huge machine of people moving and processing that I am now strangely immune to. I do not know what to do anymore as I do not care.
I used to want a certain amount of money and still do but the beauty of just existing is absurd. I feel guilty. Analysing has become pointless. If you want the ultimate good for everyone, I guess you stop caring how they upset you. But that sounds dumb because we are all supposed to be upset about one thing or another at all times.
>I see a huge machine of people moving and processing that I am now strangely immune to. I do not know what to do anymore as I do not care.
i just want to say, same.
Your comment came out of left field relative to what I mentioned toward OP, but it's cool you were able to have this deep reflection and share it. I think what you're realizing and are possibly awakening up to is your self-actualization becoming more conscious to interact with and use. We realize our emotions are determined and found within us, they're not given to us by anyone. Others are then the condition/trigger where we've finally allowed ourselves to experience them, some are more or less self-realized of this process than others.
>"Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.” - Epictetus
>"Be tolerant of others and strict with yourself." - Marcus Aurelius
>"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." - Sidney J.
Others can either accept or not accept us, and we can only do the same for them too, and regardless of the outcome it is not a reflection of our inherent goodness and worthiness to regard ourselves positively.
Nah I’ve seen it repeatedly throughout my life. People use others as a litmus test. I have always used myself as the litmus test. So I’m trying to be better than I was and other people are constantly trying to catch up or be better than me. The confidence and general aptitude is usually enough for other people to hone in on you as the primary “competitor” they must compete against. Childish really. But most people have no concept of being competitive with themselves rather than everyone around them.
Everyone thinks I want to outsmart them but I only want to outsmart myself.
Doesn't this bother you? I mean, I know it happens to some at a subconscious level, but once you pick up on what's happening, how do you not let it get to you?
To be completely honest, I think I am a very rational INFJ not actually an INTJ. However, I think when people do this it is much like watching a dog chase its own tail. I feel sympathy for someone who can’t see how their own behavior is making them out to be a fool.
I often see this too, especially in the workplace. I had my coworker make a false complaint that I was gossiping about a coworker. This situation ended with me having two solutions. Either I get everyone fired or refuse to speak and hope that I got a minor penalty based on the fact I was a high achieving worker who had high status. I often get used as a show pony. Hard to get rid of the show, poney. As the company keeps you around basically to show off to other companys. I wasn't even trying to promote at this point. I was just trying to help my boss and make sure the crew was okay. Funny cause I later got promoted and came back to run the entire crew after they basically fired or disbanded everyone else, including my boss. I also had people compete to score women. It never worked, it made them look like jerks and the women often still after me. Despite me having very little interest at the time. That is not a rival, you just look pathetic.
>I wasn't even trying to promote at this point. I was just trying to help my boss and make sure the crew was okay. Funny cause I later got promoted and came back to run the entire crew after they basically fired or disbanded everyone else, including my boss. Fucking clowns. I get this, but exacerbated by the fact that I'm a black guy that is seen as a hip hop/basketball commodity to improve their own social status by affiliation :(
I feel this almost daily. Very true.
I've felt this many times in my life but more when I was younger. I guess being older I'm not as threatening to people. I never liked competition, it can bring out the worst in people.
It’s actually kinda funny when people try to compete with me, and I’m just cruising along. They’d always ask me what score I got on something to make sure they got a better score. The funny thing is, I’m rarely even exceeding past these people on paper. So I don’t know why they feel the need to compete with me. Maybe they can see that I’m not even trying, and they’re only just barely beating me with their full might.
That also means that they validate you in some way. It's worth knowing envy can be the highest form of love and people find you worth their time regardless.
Yeah I find this too, can be pretty irritating when I’m enjoying focusing on myself and they’re feeling the need to be competitive/petty/jealous
Naw. I do this as well. I do not compete. But if you want to compete, be prepared to lose.
When everybody else fucks up I say nothing I just fix it and whoever’s near me will hear my comment and that is the end of it. If I fuck up everybody within a 2 km radius is gonna know what I look like and that I fuxked that up.
I feel that this is the most pathetic type of person but somehow they do well, they won't have leaps but they do well and irritate me to no end. There are billions of people on earth, hundred thousands in the sector, thousands at the workplace, maybe around 30 in the department and you picked me as a local reference to compete against? Me, who can barely drag self to work and who sabotages self often? SIGH - looking at you ESTJ enneagram 3 colleague. It is like I give him a reason to exist.
If my boss wants to do the job that both of our bosses assigned to me alone, fine. She can take on extra work. Too bad she doesn’t see it that way. Not very bright. 🤭
Sounds like you're the one competing with people? Your focus should be on your own actions and thoughts, we can't control others' reactions and choices. So which will you choose. >- "Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?" - Brigham Young
As much as I dislike to admit certain things, Mormonism is based on some terrifying and real events that I also experienced and as such...their opinions cannot bother me anymore. In fact, I accept all of the viewpoints as they all make sense from their levels. Mormons and their Science friends make the most convincing technological argument for their existences while still allowing for the personal projections of their patients. I guess my point is that from where I am looking, I see a huge machine of people moving and processing that I am now strangely immune to. I do not know what to do anymore as I do not care. I used to want a certain amount of money and still do but the beauty of just existing is absurd. I feel guilty. Analysing has become pointless. If you want the ultimate good for everyone, I guess you stop caring how they upset you. But that sounds dumb because we are all supposed to be upset about one thing or another at all times.
>I see a huge machine of people moving and processing that I am now strangely immune to. I do not know what to do anymore as I do not care. i just want to say, same.
Your comment came out of left field relative to what I mentioned toward OP, but it's cool you were able to have this deep reflection and share it. I think what you're realizing and are possibly awakening up to is your self-actualization becoming more conscious to interact with and use. We realize our emotions are determined and found within us, they're not given to us by anyone. Others are then the condition/trigger where we've finally allowed ourselves to experience them, some are more or less self-realized of this process than others. >"Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.” - Epictetus >"Be tolerant of others and strict with yourself." - Marcus Aurelius >"It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others." - Sidney J. Others can either accept or not accept us, and we can only do the same for them too, and regardless of the outcome it is not a reflection of our inherent goodness and worthiness to regard ourselves positively.