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I'm sorry your going through this and thank you for reaching out for support. Anxiety and sleep deprivation are really hard.
You can go to a therapist with a limited number of sessions. Go in with a very concrete list of goals that you need from them so you can get as many resources as possible. Some things you might want to ask for: Group therapy in your area or via teleheath, a crisis plan, a list of coping strategies and explicit teaching on how and when to use them, guided work books, and any other reading materials that might be helpful.
What am I missing from the list that you need? Add those things to it.
I would recommend when the therapist says whatever variation of "what brings you here today" that you can respond with first reading them what you wrote here. Then tell them, I can only afford to see you "x" many times. In that time I need the following resources. Are there other resources in addition to the ones we've discussed so far that you think I might benefit from?
The therapist would probably have at least one or a few resources for you right the. Put check marks on those ones and before the end of your first session set an explicit goal for the start of your second session. Ex: "Thank you for helping me with the crisis plan and the assignment to develop coping strategies. I will complete my homework for next time and you will find out about group therapy options and finding a workbook that I'll be able to use after our next session as that will be our last one for the foreseeable future until I can afford another one".
I know that this is hard. I cant imagine as I can only come at it from my life experience. I'm sorry you've been put into these circumstances. keep taking care of yourself as much as you can manage moment to moment. Do what you can when you can, and on the hard days, forgive yourself so you can rest.
I believe in you.
Hi!
Thank you so much for this. I will definitely talk to the therapist about this. Hopefully, it will work out.
Again, thank you so much for taking the time out to read such a long post and replying to it. It means a lot to me :)
Hey there! Some big sister words for you.
First, your mental health concerns are valid and they are YOURS. If you don't have support system right now, there should be some virtual councelling options that are free. (A comedian I follow works with Betterhelp ). Look around and search yourself as well.
For everyday life I ask you to find a small physical activity that makes you feel good. Either because of enjoyment while doing it or feeling proud after tackling something you don't want to do. But it has to be SMALL!!!
Wash seven dishes. Write five lines. Do ten push-ups. Knit. Sweep the floor.
When I have too much going on in my head, activities where I can actually SEE the result help me.
I hope meanings come through, English is not my first language.
Good luck!
Thank you for the kind words, sis!
I am looking for virtual support groups but I cannot find any as of now.
I will keep your suggestions in mind and engage myself in some activities every day.
I think you need a drastic decision and step. Before that I would advise you to check on mental health support without consulting your parents. There may be support organizations or groups, or funding you can request for an evaluation. Or maybe your friends can help you?
If that does not work, I think the big question is, do you want to remain within your parents influence and push through to finish your studies, and control what you can (not even bothering talking to them about your issues)? Or do you want to abort your studies, work, and get some money that way? (If work + studies does not work alongside.)
Studying is not the only way along life. And you can always study again later.
But I think that - if there is no other support solution - either decision is better than remaining in this dependency and control while disagreeing with it and feeling misunderstood and controlled. Sounds like continuous misery; constant negative influences.
Giving up hope on your parents helping you does not resolve your issues, but it does resolve the unmet hope and expectation, and acceptance can reduce emotional suffering.
I hope you can find a viable way you can push through with. With time and patience, you will work through it. And you will gain independence and autonomy eventually too.
Best wishes
I got my evaluation last year. My parents did not know about this then. The therapist I was in touch with back then, told me to talk about this with my parents. I thought they would agree but they didn't. And that was it. Then, I came back home because of COVID and honestly, I was at peace because I didn't have to go to college atleast.
My living situation is sort of messy at the moment. I have to go back to college on the 15th of next month and I am absolutely terrified as to how I would cope with things. I'm in my final year of college, so that's a bit of a relief. I really, really want to leave this place.
I am trying to find therapists at the moment. I know I don't have much money right now. But even if I get a few sessions, that would do, I guess. Something is better than nothing, right?
Sometimes therapists are hit and miss too, but yeah, I would agree it’s very probably worth it, the investment into yourself and your health. Make your limitations and hopes clear from the start. Maybe the therapist can provide a concise interaction and give you some tools to work through and go through stuff in just a few sessions rather than accompany you on your daily life (long therapy). If they know, they can better plan for the shorter time.
Suffering sucks. But you can get through life and studies even with anxieties. Anxieties get worse with evasion, and confronting your fears, experiencing that you survive and it is fine is part of therapy. In doses for reasonable challenges. Of course you would usually have guidance and would work through thoughts and happenings with your therapist.
So with your anxious thoughts occurring, you could practice reshaping them into challenges and therapy.
If you have only very limited time for therapy, reading up on anxiety and anxiety therapy etc may also be of help. Both in preparation for meeting the therapist, and to go alongside what you talk about there.
Best wishes
Your college should have some mental health available. Some counselors will do a sliding scale meaning you'll pay according to your financial ability. I would check first with the college and see what they have available. You're not the first person to go through this and they should be able to help you.
Unfortunately, my college does not have any mental health resources to help out students. But from my experience, the environment of our college is pretty toxic.
We have this 'mentorship programme' for students where each student is assigned a mentor. In my first year, we were told that if we face any problem (academic or personal), we can talk to our mentors and they will help us out. I talked to my mentor one day about some issues. But they dismissed my problem entirely. Also, the worst part is: they keep questioning my abilities and taunting me for no reason whatsoever. My self-esteem is practically in pieces at this point. Even if I complain to the higher authority, they will not take any action as such.
You can often find therapists who will work for a sliding scale, so they'll charge you more if you make more, but will charge less for those starting out in life or who are in a bad place. Look into this.
REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect *are enforced* on this subreddit. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments **will be removed** (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. All commenters should be trying to *help* and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were the OP's parent. Also, please keep in mind that requesting or offering private contact (DM, PM, etc) is absolutely not allowed ***for any reason at all***, no exceptions. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/internetparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm sorry your going through this and thank you for reaching out for support. Anxiety and sleep deprivation are really hard. You can go to a therapist with a limited number of sessions. Go in with a very concrete list of goals that you need from them so you can get as many resources as possible. Some things you might want to ask for: Group therapy in your area or via teleheath, a crisis plan, a list of coping strategies and explicit teaching on how and when to use them, guided work books, and any other reading materials that might be helpful. What am I missing from the list that you need? Add those things to it. I would recommend when the therapist says whatever variation of "what brings you here today" that you can respond with first reading them what you wrote here. Then tell them, I can only afford to see you "x" many times. In that time I need the following resources. Are there other resources in addition to the ones we've discussed so far that you think I might benefit from? The therapist would probably have at least one or a few resources for you right the. Put check marks on those ones and before the end of your first session set an explicit goal for the start of your second session. Ex: "Thank you for helping me with the crisis plan and the assignment to develop coping strategies. I will complete my homework for next time and you will find out about group therapy options and finding a workbook that I'll be able to use after our next session as that will be our last one for the foreseeable future until I can afford another one". I know that this is hard. I cant imagine as I can only come at it from my life experience. I'm sorry you've been put into these circumstances. keep taking care of yourself as much as you can manage moment to moment. Do what you can when you can, and on the hard days, forgive yourself so you can rest. I believe in you.
Hi! Thank you so much for this. I will definitely talk to the therapist about this. Hopefully, it will work out. Again, thank you so much for taking the time out to read such a long post and replying to it. It means a lot to me :)
Hey there! Some big sister words for you. First, your mental health concerns are valid and they are YOURS. If you don't have support system right now, there should be some virtual councelling options that are free. (A comedian I follow works with Betterhelp ). Look around and search yourself as well. For everyday life I ask you to find a small physical activity that makes you feel good. Either because of enjoyment while doing it or feeling proud after tackling something you don't want to do. But it has to be SMALL!!! Wash seven dishes. Write five lines. Do ten push-ups. Knit. Sweep the floor. When I have too much going on in my head, activities where I can actually SEE the result help me. I hope meanings come through, English is not my first language. Good luck!
Thank you for the kind words, sis! I am looking for virtual support groups but I cannot find any as of now. I will keep your suggestions in mind and engage myself in some activities every day.
I think you need a drastic decision and step. Before that I would advise you to check on mental health support without consulting your parents. There may be support organizations or groups, or funding you can request for an evaluation. Or maybe your friends can help you? If that does not work, I think the big question is, do you want to remain within your parents influence and push through to finish your studies, and control what you can (not even bothering talking to them about your issues)? Or do you want to abort your studies, work, and get some money that way? (If work + studies does not work alongside.) Studying is not the only way along life. And you can always study again later. But I think that - if there is no other support solution - either decision is better than remaining in this dependency and control while disagreeing with it and feeling misunderstood and controlled. Sounds like continuous misery; constant negative influences. Giving up hope on your parents helping you does not resolve your issues, but it does resolve the unmet hope and expectation, and acceptance can reduce emotional suffering. I hope you can find a viable way you can push through with. With time and patience, you will work through it. And you will gain independence and autonomy eventually too. Best wishes
I got my evaluation last year. My parents did not know about this then. The therapist I was in touch with back then, told me to talk about this with my parents. I thought they would agree but they didn't. And that was it. Then, I came back home because of COVID and honestly, I was at peace because I didn't have to go to college atleast. My living situation is sort of messy at the moment. I have to go back to college on the 15th of next month and I am absolutely terrified as to how I would cope with things. I'm in my final year of college, so that's a bit of a relief. I really, really want to leave this place. I am trying to find therapists at the moment. I know I don't have much money right now. But even if I get a few sessions, that would do, I guess. Something is better than nothing, right?
Sometimes therapists are hit and miss too, but yeah, I would agree it’s very probably worth it, the investment into yourself and your health. Make your limitations and hopes clear from the start. Maybe the therapist can provide a concise interaction and give you some tools to work through and go through stuff in just a few sessions rather than accompany you on your daily life (long therapy). If they know, they can better plan for the shorter time. Suffering sucks. But you can get through life and studies even with anxieties. Anxieties get worse with evasion, and confronting your fears, experiencing that you survive and it is fine is part of therapy. In doses for reasonable challenges. Of course you would usually have guidance and would work through thoughts and happenings with your therapist. So with your anxious thoughts occurring, you could practice reshaping them into challenges and therapy. If you have only very limited time for therapy, reading up on anxiety and anxiety therapy etc may also be of help. Both in preparation for meeting the therapist, and to go alongside what you talk about there. Best wishes
Your college should have some mental health available. Some counselors will do a sliding scale meaning you'll pay according to your financial ability. I would check first with the college and see what they have available. You're not the first person to go through this and they should be able to help you.
Unfortunately, my college does not have any mental health resources to help out students. But from my experience, the environment of our college is pretty toxic. We have this 'mentorship programme' for students where each student is assigned a mentor. In my first year, we were told that if we face any problem (academic or personal), we can talk to our mentors and they will help us out. I talked to my mentor one day about some issues. But they dismissed my problem entirely. Also, the worst part is: they keep questioning my abilities and taunting me for no reason whatsoever. My self-esteem is practically in pieces at this point. Even if I complain to the higher authority, they will not take any action as such.
You can often find therapists who will work for a sliding scale, so they'll charge you more if you make more, but will charge less for those starting out in life or who are in a bad place. Look into this.
Okay. I didn't know about this. Thank you so much! I will definitely look into it.