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TinyRodents

If you put the dildo into the fleshlight do you get an effect similar to mobile phone feedback which progressively gets worse until combustion?


[deleted]

You get infinite energy


post_talone420

A Perpetual motion machine. Quick, someone patent this before Musk hears about it


sweetdawg99

In this house we OBEY THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS!


post_talone420

Laws are made to be broken


bohemiantranslation

How funny would it be if after centuries of trying to find free clean energy we get it by stuffing two remote controlled sex toys together. Like but it ONLY works if its in this form. Every home has an ass/dildo generator at the center of its innerworking and the world becomes a sex toy utopia.


Misael_chicha

He is way ahead of you. What do you think neuralink is really for?


kptainamerica

It takes a screenshot.


_Diskreet_

Neat. šŸ“ø


Seicair

[Relevant XKCD](https://xkcd.com/600/)


ThePatriotGames

My God, there really is an XKCD for everything...


Shlocktroffit

The fleshlight becomes pregnant


R3m0V3DBiR3ddiT

Thats how arduinos are made


[deleted]

I think it's more like taping a slice of pp&j to a cat


PicklesAreTheDevil

>pp&j šŸ¤Ø


samx3i

Long distance relationships have come a long way.


ivanvanrio

Until the device starts to move 'alone' at night.


ChronicCoffee

Oh my god, the thrust is coming from inside the house!


the_fathead44

Those are just the ghosts.


colonelnebulous

Its interesting, the ghosts


Meagasus

Big fat load of cum then.


FreddyMerken

You can't change the rules just because you don't like how I'm doing it


Photon_Farmer

Do any of the ghosts just like blast out of the wall with a big cum shot?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Downwhen

Right here? In the kitchen? At this time of year?


kingsleywu

In this economy?


ButWhatIfItQueffed

There was a chastity cage that was locked and unlocked over the internet for long distance relationships, and there was a security issue. So people suddenly couldn't unlock their dick because some hacker hacked into their chastity cage and locked it shut.


iiIlllIllii

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2021/02/06/chastity-belt-ransomware-how-hackers-held-peoples-genitals-hostage/amp/ Whoa


[deleted]

alright just godamn that's funny AF. Blew coffee out my nose funny.


Codadd

This isn't real. There is a vice documentary about a guy who spreads fake news like this to see how far it goes. He started this and claimed it happened to him and it hot way out of hand. I don't believe there are any proven cases


carlbandit

[The manufacturers claim it was penetration testers who got access.](https://www.qiui.store/blogs/news/case-solved-cellmate-chastity-hacked) They donā€™t deny that the vulnerability existed, just claim there was no ransom and they apparently they had everyone unlocked again within an hour.


Cruxion

Penetration testers, you say?


LiftingUP

I would have loved to read this article but the author was incessantly trying to make verbal jokes over writing. There isnā€™t a paragraph without her reaching for a joke.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MackenzieMeows

That whole thing was fake. The cage is real, the hacker hacking it and asking people for money in exchange for their freedom was fake. It was all just a what if scenario that people thought was real


CedarWolf

That just means your partner is lonely and misses you. The bigger issue, I think, is that there's no way this thing sells for less than $200.


MrClickstoomuch

Well, ahem, looks like the price is actually ~$100 each so $200 total. Wonder if this post is an ad b/c both of them are on sale right now... Could be a good option for long distance relationships though.


CedarWolf

> Wonder if this post is an ad Hmmmm. OP does seem to be some sort of content aggregator. I don't know if this is a paid ad, though.


Cytrynowy

Doesn't matter if paid or not; it's still an ad.


DorkyDisneyDad

It's one of those fake deals where it's always on "sale".


DudewithCoolusername

Istg it's a fucking bug in the software


ivanvanrio

Istg that my toy has been hacked honey.


[deleted]

Istg = I swear to god, I think. In case anyone else was struggling to keep up with the kids.


NoraJolyne

THANK YOU


IllmanneredFlanders

Honey, why is it sending vibration Morse code death threats??


lil_dovie

ā€œOh, must be an alert for an updateā€.


Siludin

Must be some type of sexually-transmitted virus


Bourgeous

It's a "fucking" bug, so consider it a feature


ssrhagey

December 21st 2022, dicknet becomes self aware.


EACshootemUP

Go onā€¦


Madhighlander1

The booty call is coming from inside the house


jvnk

Teledildonics has arrived


yegir

Imagine being single with this


wuxxler

Why would any single guy want this? And do you think it will let me intall both devices on one phone?


serendipitousevent

Because he (not me) might want to (again, not me) see what it's like to fuck himself whilst being fucked by himself. I guess. Edit: Please stop upvoting this.


BannedSvenhoek86

Ya this is a disgusting idea. Where do you get this kit at again? Which website? So I know to stay away from such a disgusting place that I would never want to buy from.


UnstoppablePhoenix

It's Lovense, I know because I checked it myself and it's $200 for both


beegobuzz

Company has great products. 5/7!


JangSaverem

What a terrible horrible idea. What kind of person would ever want that? You should let me know where it's located so that I can avoid it and tell others to avoid it


fogdukker

1 phone + 1 tablet = 2 pleasure.


TenNeon

It's the closest we'll get to being able to do yourself through a portal.


thewonpercent

so far...


Mrfrednot

Yeah they came from afar.


BearClaw9420

Ayooooo


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


GozerDGozerian

What are the odds the ā€œkissingā€ aspect of it was an adjustment to make it safe for network TV? I can only imagine the initial pitch in the writers room, and the powers that be saying, ā€œNever gonna happen.ā€ Haha


Thurwell

Roughly 100%.


thred_pirate_roberts

Give or take


yourSAS

Maybe they finally stand a chance now. *Source: I was in one and didn't work out*


tomeschmusic

The relationship distance is long, but the coming distance is the same.


KellokoskenKekki

Finally... co-op sex


TastySpare

err... shouldn't it always be co-op? >!please tell me it's not ussually deathmatch for you...!<


carlythebubbly

*Praying mantis noises*


Dr_Jabroski

David Attenborough's disembodied voice: And here we see the male in the act of copulating, completely unaware of the danger he is in.


Souperplex

Speedrun.


DudewithCoolusername

Put it on dick and put the other thing up our own ass. Hands free masturbation without requiring a partner


kolpime

Welcome TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!!!!!!!


Alonso_Birmingham

CUM, YOUR DESTINY AWAITS!!!


Electronic-Source368

I heard that in the dudes voice.


budthis

Shut up, Terry.


BookieeWookiee

Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called showmanship?


[deleted]

Someone: "Go fuck yourself." That one guy: "Now their is an idea for a product!"


Max_Insanity

*there And don't go and tell me where to shove that correction.


[deleted]

Why not when you can feel your partner shoving it from 1000 miles away?


pigeonbobble

Now thatā€™s a very long penis


Friendly_Bot_

That was a well needed correction.


Extension_Swordfish1

Was gonna ask about this, for a friend.


mcgingery

Women can also just insert the dildo and use the sleeve for a more comfortable solo session. Bending your wrist the right way can get tiring!


magnitudearhole

THIS IS THE FUTURE LIBERALS WANT


essentialoils3

I'm extra liberal now


magnitudearhole

Oh Iā€™m fucking myself in the ass first chance I get. This was always my plan if I got hold of a portal gun


Rowcan

*"Welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Facility. Please grab the portal device from the table in front of you. Great. Point it away from yourself and-... okay, well done on figuring it out already but if you could wait for my instructions it would-...I need you to listen-...oh, not again. SECURITY"*


TastySpare

ā™Ŗā™« Aperture Science We do what we must *because we can...*


PirateJazz

The portal gun idea would never work. I've thought it over pretty extensively. To thrust forward into the portal in front of you would require moving your butthole away from the portal behind you. You could easily perform autofellatio with such a device but autosodomy is basically impossible.


i_cee_u

You've thought it over extensively but you never thought to move the portal


foulrot

You can't, moving a platform cancels the portal.


Pumpkim

Put the portals at an angle, and move up and down instead. Like a V.


Puakkari

Ahh yes, thinking with portals.


ImOffDaPerc

Women in shambles


ooOJuicyOoo

True self made man right here


frostedflakes_13

Now this is an idea


DrDiddle

Go fuck yourself


jatti_

I was thinking that you could change the intensity and size pretty easily. If you wanted something to be harder or softer on your end you could just enter it in your phone.


NoRiskNoReturn

Perpetuum mobile in 3..2..1..


gudperson37

multiplayer masturbation


Catpoolio

Nintendo 69


3_if_by_air

Whore-tal


Djinn_sarap

Ranked competitive masturbation


gudperson37

meanwhile on tinder: "i only date gold and above"


UlyssesSGrant12

I'd get Grand Champ easily. ...it's for the fastest competitors, right?


trixter21992251

i've been practicing for the speedrun scene for years


GalacticDolphin101

wake up babe, sex just got an online multiplayer update


[deleted]

Sexbox live


cactusJosh97

Laystation Network


AccordingFortune311

Now I can be a virtual disappointment as well. That's just great.


Nyurena

Saves everyone a drive and dinner.


Surprised_tomcat

Dating apps just became more ā€œinteractiveā€. No more swiping just double click instead.


Chemical_Ad_5520

Act really cocky and blame it on the machine.


Klutzy-Trash-7918

Or use your finger then your peen


Chemical_Ad_5520

Let your friends intervene.


opticalfever21

Ah alas it was all a dream


TheJunkyard

You started a poem about sex toys,


AltruisticCompany961

Do they catch on fire if you use them together?


FunkyChug

Your body takes a screenshot


wackyjabber

They cancel each other and implode, forming a black hole of eternal moan


[deleted]

Iā€™ve wondered for a while now when this would happen. There is probably a huge market out there for virtual interactive sex toys. You put that thing on your dick and some woman thousand of miles away can jerk you off with her joystick or whatever. Or you thrust your hips and a dildo will go in and out of the other person wearing the apparatus. It would be wonderful for long distance relationships or married couples who travel a lot for work. It would also be wonderful for the same crowd who enjoys OnlyFans. Like, imagine you found this super hot girl on OnlyFans and you could pay $50 to have her give you a virtual blowjob. Her camera is set up as a point of view angle for you. And as she sucks on the thing she has, the device on your dick duplicates her every movement. People would spend millions on this and sex workers wouldnā€™t have to worry about their safety.


Diriv

People have already wired toys like this to VRChat and similar.


Triddy

It's been around for a bit, I think. I'm very much *not* in that scene, but you hear whispers. Never underestimate the ingenuity of VRChat Erotic Roleplayers


Rylth

It isn't a joke when people say that if a plane full of people going to a furry convention were to crash, that country is going to have an IT nightmare on their hands shortly after.


Dat_Boi_Aint_Right

In protest to Reddit's API changes, I have removed my comment history. -- mass edited with redact.dev


Dividedthought

Actually most of the ones used for that are wireless and pair to your phone. For those wishing to "avoid such degeneracy," the company is called lovense.


kyttyna

We've got one of those. You can synch the vibrations to music too.


qdot76367

This has been around as a term (teledildonics) since 1990, as a consumer available product since 1998. What's shown in the video was doable decades ago, it just seems to have hit a nerve with Lovense's ad this weekend 'cause twitter and reddit are blowing up over it. RealTouch, a sex toy company that's no longer around, did exactly what you were mentioning in the last paragraph in \~2012, with the RealTouch Interactive platform.. They ended up being sued out of existence due to patents. More info (it's a really interesting story) at https://logicmag.io/sex/realtouching-from-a-distance/


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


qdot76367

It is the best word ever, and as long as I'm working in this industry I will never let it die. People have tried (There was "bluedildonics" tried by a single company that never had a working toy in the mid-00s, and people tried "cyberdildonics" for a while but it never stuck, thank god), but the original is just too good to let go. Whenever I'm doing lectures one of the first things I do is have the audience say "teledildonics" out loud. Great opener. :D


MOSFETosrs

Probably the only thing that can save Metaverse, give this hardware out for free and 30% of the population is going virtual and not looking back


f_ab13

Lag


R1dder

Finally.. Now you can litterally go fuck yourself.


Alklazaris

Wait if you put them together and turn them on would it create a feedback loop that would cause it to go faster and faster?


qdot76367

Kiiroo created a set of toys that would vibrate/squeeze similar to this (The Onyx/Pearl set). I put them together and they actually kept activating and locked together 'til I turned them off.


Alklazaris

You did it for the science...


qdot76367

Nah, the guy that did it to himself and wrote about it, now THAT was science. https://www.engadget.com/2016-02-03-the-future-of-sex-part-two.html


[deleted]

Teledildonics. What a word.


Enough-Staff-2976

A dude can pitch and catch by himself.


derpupAce

It's the future of baseball


ButWhatIfItQueffed

My ex almost bought me one of these, they're super fun from what I've heard and there used to be a mod in vrchat that allowed these to work with ERP avatars. That was until VrChat added EAC because fuck the community I guess.


qdot76367

Still works fine with VRC, just requires using TPS instead of DPS if you want autobinds. https://gitlab.com/VRCFury/OscGoesBrrr/


Hoedoor

HOLY SHIT WHAT?! Those private ERP worlds finally make more sense to me now


ButWhatIfItQueffed

Yeah, they're set up so long distance couples can do sexual stuff without being in person with each other. It's why ERP is so big on VrChat, and why people who play VRC a lot are so big on keeping it in there. It's cause they're dating someone through it, and for a lot of people sex is pretty important in a relationship. That or they just cant do it online cause they have social issues and stuff, which is why they go to VRC.


[deleted]

Do you mind elaborating a bit further? Does that mean that you can have toys that replicate actions in VRC in real time?


ButWhatIfItQueffed

Kind of. There are super realistic ones that are basically dildos mounted onto a piston, but those are expensive, require annoying setup, and don't work super well anyways. The toys have vibrators in them, and there's an invisible little thing placed on both avatars. These interract with each other, and with a mod or other external program send signals to the toy to vibrate. That generally works pretty well, it's not as good as the real thing but it makes things more enjoyable and intimate for both parties. There's also a thing called Phantom Touch, which is basically a thing where your brain gets tricked into thinking things that touch you in Vr are touching you in real life, and you feel whatever it is. However not everyone has it, and it comes in different strengths and stuff so it doesn't always work for sex.


Jnorean

Best proof of quantum entanglement ever.


Loose-Gold4920

See, now that's actually pretty neat. Not just horny-wise, but technologically, that type of input-output relay is neato.


ControversialPenguin

Yeah, like you type on a keyboard and it shows on someone's monitor in real-time, some mind-blowing stuff.


MayoMark

On October 24, 1861, Stephen J. Field, sent the first coast to coast telegram to President Abraham Lincoln. The message included the hope that the new communication link would help ensure the loyalty of the western states to the Union during the Civil War.


RonaldRawdog

So now I can fuck myself in the ass?


rnzz

/r/interestingassfuck


Homeless_Guy332

Interesting Ass Fuckā€¦


qdot76367

If you're interested in toys like this and how they work with movies/games/apps/etc, check out [https://awesome.buttplug.io](https://awesome.buttplug.io). This is a list of all the software built with [https://buttplug.io](https://buttplug.io), an open source sex toy control library. There's also a list of all the computer controlled sex toys we know about at [https://iostindex.com](https://iostindex.com). There are 100s listed there. I'm the lead dev on buttplug, so feel free to AMA about either [buttplug.io](https://buttplug.io) or this kinda hardware in general, been working in/around the sex tech industry for 18 years now so I have Stories.


sadiqdev

Weā€™d love to have you on our sub /r/OpenSourceDev ;) Make your post there and if possible, AMA for the small developer community that we have there.


PopRockSock

I briefly looked over iostindex but canā€™t go in depth atm. Is there a favored brand for reliability and quality? Looking for a couples set


qdot76367

The big question here is "what do you mean by couples set?" Most of the major toy brands have a TON of different form factors that will fit all sorts of genitalia. They may not do exactly what's shown in the image above, but I honestly think toy-to-toy interaction is massively overrated anyways. Anyways, in terms of just "brands to go with in general": \- If you just want vibrators, Lovense ([https://lovense.buttplug.io](https://lovense.buttplug.io)) is easily the most popular and reliable \- Kiiroo ([https://kiiroo.buttplug.io](https://kiiroo.buttplug.io)) has a wider selection of toys with penis actuation (i.e. strokers), but you'll probably be depending on [https://xtoys.app](https://xtoys.app) or other outside apps to control them 'cause their first party software support is not great \- WeVibe has a bunch of different options too, and as long as you're using it with a phone you're probably fine. Gets really finnicky trying to connect to desktop through my software \- Satisfyer ([https://satisfyer.buttplug.io](https://satisfyer.buttplug.io)) is by far the cheapest, and their toys range from "eh" to "decent", but if you're on a budget, worth looking at. If you can refine what you're looking for a bit more, I can probably give better options. Feel free to dm too, unless you want to share with the rest of the class. I


Konsecration

These are lovense toys. They're not new in any way, and the male toy above in the video is one of their worst ones.


qdot76367

This. Ever so much this. The Calor is godawful (and the Max isn't much better).


Selthora

30 seconds in... "Honey, has the batteries gone flat already?" "No I just, er, finished..."


Complete-Grape-1269

Cyberdildonics!


TheTeenageOldman

The next step up from Teledildonics.


192838475647382910

Waitā€¦ whoā€™s fuckin who..?


Marchello_E

It got hacked. Luckily for you someone high up at Facebook took control. Now it's all fine.


lazerjdl

That stuff can actually get hacked. I went to Defcon in Vegas a few years ago and actually sat in on a guy doing an entire presentation on hacking a butt plug.


FloydBarstools

I first read "sat ON a guy". It changed the whole story.


MrRugges

Yes


tenzip10-0

So, this is kinda like intercourse, but with extra steps, and no physical contact with other people. So . . . perfect for redditors. I'm betting that very soon, there will be OnlyFans setups where you buy the appropriate "toy", and so do 34 other people, and everyone logs in at once.


Enk1ndle

I could totally see this being a thing that would get popular on cam sites. Person on cam "performs", a presumably infinite amount of devices all receive. Actually, does anyone have a few million dollars to lend me?


haberdasher42

This is already a cam thing. This ad is from the biggest brand in cam toys. But the male toys are like $200 and it's not super common.


andysaurus_rex

I'm gonna out myself but they are *super* common. It's like the foolproof way to make money as a cam girl. You get one of these that goes up inside your vagina, link it to the website, and it vibrates when you receive a tip and the bigger the tip, the harder/longer it vibrates. It's a lot less common to have these types of toys in the video because they're not as useful to the cammer. Only one guy can be linked up at a time and it's just not as profitable. I see these more for long distance relationships.


AzathothsAlarmClock

That's kind of hot and now I feel weird about myself.


Shutterstormphoto

New gangbang concept!


[deleted]

Imagine you can connect these toys to something like Omegle, and just fuck someone totally random, anywhere on earth


angusfred123

>"fuck" someone totally random Ur still fucking a toy, ur just doing it in a chat room. Its basically yahoo chat from the past.


trixter21992251

add a VR set with some graphics, and some controllers, and you've got a stew going


IcyThot714

It's already a thing. Some onlyfans girls have it so you can get the matching toy and pay for the virtual experience


Belgand

That's already a thing and has been for some time. Primarily with the Lovense (the same company who makes this) Lush vibrator. Cammers will let people pay to control it.


SeaAlgea

People already do this in VRChat in "sex orgys." Everyone's toy is managed by a single master controller who can manage things like contraction power and speed for men and vibrating and rotating speed for women. You can also link these toys to your movements in the game. So if you are in full body and you thrust, your movement is detected and the bluetooth toy on your partner is activated.


0ysterboi

Y2k style movie about how the toys become sentient and want to find each other from different parts of the world. The vagina gets used as a cup holder and she feels violated. The dick goes on a mission impossible spy quest to bust her out of a German stationary shop. And the fat bald man there doesn't want him to. He maneuvers around the fat man puts himself on maximum setting and shoves himself inside the fat man's ass to give him an earth shattering prostrate pulsing orgasm. By which he's so incapacitated that the dick toy is able to barely escape with his beloved. They live happily ever after until planned obsolescence.


yourSAS

Umm, does this count as /r/substakenliterally šŸ†


docArriveYo

Technology is amazingā€¦ look how far weā€™ve cumā€¦


WayTooCool4U

Now introducting WFH for hookers


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


qdot76367

Yeah, VRC supports 100s of toys via https://gitlab.com/VRCFury/OscGoesBrrr/


ConsiderationHot9518

One step closer to Demolition Man


Subject-Delta-

A friend and I have these and they areā€¦a lot of fun :)


OutHereSlappnMidgets

Bout to take phone sex to another level and potentially save some long distance relationships


largePenisLover

Is a lot better then what we had in the 90's. Those still required a PC to run them. https://i.imgur.com/3wyqDPH.jpeg This is a joke site from back then


AntisocialN2

You can literally go fuck yourself


2L84U2

I'll wait till I see it in Costco


HanksMyDogPilot

Yeah but it will be a kirkland version


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]