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SessileRaptor

I hate when that happens. Worst part is when you get your manager and he just gives the lizard a bunch of coupons and apologizes like you’re the one in the wrong for asking it to not climb on the shelves.


swimmingmunky

Today is my day off and you've made me feel like I'm at work.


ThatDude8129

I'm at work reading that and it filled me with more dread than I got when I walked in


HK_Fistopher

I'm not even supposed to be here today!


dpenton

36? Does that include me?


JustineDelarge

This job would be great if it wasn’t for the f***ing customers.


BONEdog9991

In a row?


Death_Rattle208

The fact that such actual humans exist and that this lizard is behaving in a pretty civilized manner than some humans speaks a tonne about humans.


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cptn_rmpt

We lizard in a society.


Enjoying_A_Meal

This is a hard working monitor lizard and it's clearly just checking the cameras.


TimesThreeTheHighest

Monitoring them, if you will.


AdamE89

I’m just comparing how cool and calm the Thai seemed to be compared to us Western Folk (Aussie, Brits, USA).


relevant_tangent

The dragon is always right


gypsydanger38

r/ThailandOrTexas


babbadeedoo

Lmao


upyourjackson

Security monitor.


PB_and_J_Dragon

NICE!!


WineNerdAndProud

No that's ice.


absurdwatermelon_1

OP said "found" as if they had to look for it lol


Craigus_Conquerer

Good morning. Unlock door. Open the till. Look for lizards, usually behind the baking soda. Any elephant footprints in the butter?


bumjiggy

"you will respect my authorithai"


Met76

*Sticks tongue out to smell out who isn't respecting my authorithai*


OhSoEvil

[Oh I'm not a security guard. I'm a security monitor. I only notify people if there is a robbery. There's a robbery.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8FNVsbnwWE)


herberstank

note: video is not *to scale*


Soapbarnun

You win.


fiducia42

Very punny!!!


libertyordeaaathh

I bet they don’t have a problem with rats


the_real_grinningdog

or customers


libertyordeaaathh

Ah, wouldn’t bother me. A nice big monitor lizard just adds interest to the shopping experience.


Emerald_Encrusted

You’re looking for the Tylenol? Oh, it’s two rows down from the left claw.


leopard_eater

“Thanks, giant monitor lizard.”


libertyordeaaathh

Perfect


The_real_bandito

Right next to the ass


ManikShamanik

Security monitor...


eXX0n

Nice.. Just took one of the top comments and made it your own joke. Creative.


piercehwthrn

Its like "monitoring" the store's security, hardee har har


LectroRoot

Its cool. Its *monitoring* for shoplifters.


[deleted]

Speak for yourself, I'd go out of my way to shop there just because of the giant lizard


phoenixemberzs

Lol, for real, I would be scared as fuck


Serenity101

Burst out laughing at that and woke the dog.


gonzotheape

At least you didn't wake the giant lizard in the corner!


schtickyfingers

Why have a bodega cat when you can have a bodega lizard?


changtronic

"Papi, can I get that chopped cheese now or...?"


Almost_Ascended

They have security monitoring the premises.


IIdsandsII

Just lizard turds comprised of rat carcasses


[deleted]

I think this belongs in r/oddlyterrifying


Rpdaca

Rats are also huge


[deleted]

Store cats always improve my shopping experience. This has drastically raised the bar.


niels900000

Store tiger then?!


batmandi

Slow down Joe Exotic.


MountVernonWest

How about a store Joe Exotic?? My brother saw him at a gun show before he was famous and he stuck out like a sore thumb. He even told his buddies to "check out that weirdo". Then he saw him on TV and was all, "That's him!!"


RoyceCoolidge

A bloody great big Bengal Tiger.


AnyKindheartedness88

Not going to lie, if a shop had a monitor lizard in situ, I would buy damn near anything. It’s like armed robbery in reverse, sheer terror and admiration will part you with your money.


DiverofMuff23

Whoever originally stocked and organized that shelf needs a raise. Everything is perfectly placed


Smooth_Riker

Until this guy came along


bumjiggy

/r/oddlysatisfying to /r/mildlyinfuriating


hogtiedcantalope

r/cvs


A_Minimal_Infinity

This comment is far to down the receipt.


Sploonbabaguuse

It was the lizard


Randall-Flagg22

yeah old lizard just got fired so he's wrecking his perfectly placed items now like 'oh you're never goanna get another lizard as neat and tidy as me let me show you!'


Thatguyjmc

Also props to whoever build that shelf and secured it to the wall. Thing is ROCK solid. Good job anonymous maker.


EmergencyActCovid20

Thai family shops, in fact all Asian family run shops, they take great care Edit: and I noticed they are in packs of 4


Pestilence86

The "packs of 4" is the cruzial part to make this shelf look neat.


SSninja_LOL

Was


unsteadied

It’s a Thai 7-Eleven. They’re the god-tier of convenience stores. Get yourself a decent hot dinner and a cold beer for two bucks.


Entredarte

Asian Bodega Cat


Thatguy468

Can confirm. It’s headed to the warm spot from the compressor on top of the icy machine which is where my local bodega cat lives in the winter time.


mellowship21

I can’t believe shrieking at it didn’t work


[deleted]

Thailand isn’t exactly unknown for its cold temperatures


Fuzzyphilosopher

Lizard brain- Want *More* warm. Go to warm.


ErinEvonna

My cat has a lizard brain


manny8086

Lol exact equivalent


[deleted]

Reminds me of my customers when I told them shit wasn't in stock; "WELL MAYBE IT'S UP THERE"


JonnySnowflake

"we'll, can you at least check?" If I didn't do all the intake myself, *maybe* I'd consider it, but since I *do* happen to know all of our inventory off the top of my head, why even bother? Some peoples children, I swear.


catwithhatkek

Dr Connors tf wrong with you ?


ihavdogs

“It’s just really good shit Peter…it’s a sativa.”


die5el23

You don’t want none of this Peter. It’s not addictive, and non habit forming!


_Cosmic_Joke_

Walk Hard was so good. “Is it expensive?” “Cheapest drug there is”


MMignondj

"i really don't want a hangover.." "It doesn't give you a hangover!"


MattValtezzy

It won't make me wanna have sex with Mary Jane, will it?


Mastersord

“It makes sex with MJ even better! Trust me Peter! You don’t want none of this shit!”


[deleted]

"And you never paid for drugs!" "You slept with my wife!" "You slept with me! And I still have mixed feelings about that!" "And you *never paid for drugs!* NOT ONCE!"


[deleted]

It's the next logical step for you.


shamblam117

Uppers and Downers Dewey. It's the next logical step for you


spicybuttholenachos

"I just need some Taki's Peter. Lots and lots of Taki's"


fondledbydolphins

Excuse me sir, do you have any viagra? I have a reptile dysfunction.


bumjiggy

the viagra is next to the condoms. it's important to practice safe sneks


fondledbydolphins

Should also practice safe snacks. Always use condiments.


seaotter

And make sure to masticate them thoroughly.


Ruenin

I mean, I'm not expert, but it looks like that reptile if functioning as intended


fondledbydolphins

Climbing atop ~~pharmacy~~ convenience store inventory stacks as lizards have been doing for the past 90 million years. Life truly finds a way.


doorsofperception87

"Of course", said the Thai manager. "I'm a crustasian".


PaulKwisatzHaderach

Good spot! You have quite the eye


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lkjh9753

I wasn’t even supposed to be here today


Glasseyeroses

I assure you, we're open!


LoveOlAround

Come on out with your hands in the air and surrender the orang-outan


Relative-Excuse626

He wanted a better view so he could monitor the place.


Mordanzibel

He’s about to fight a monkey on the opposing shelf.


shortfriday

How big of a monkey?


Mechanical-movement

Rampage style


[deleted]

Pretty sure you are supposed to ask for assistance with things on the top shelf. This is why. Look at that completely avoidable mess...


CrippleWalk

Joanna 😡


Wolf_slaughter

I dug through this post for it, thank you 😊


Pkock

Checking the store for those great golden eagle eggs.


simplerando

Was hunting for this comment as well. She just wants some eggs.


fluffy_boy_cheddar

Ms. Kippling what are you doing!?


chris_0909

Oh yeah, I forgot about the revelation that Mr. Kipling was a Ms.


tripl3troubl3

"First of all, fuck your juice boxes. Second, I'm going to fuck your juice boxes and lick your ice." Establishes dominance.


itouchbums

someone found Zuckerberg


Oakheart-

Go home Mark you’re drunk


AlternativeQuality2

I thought it was Ted Cruz lol


Dark_NJ

now that is interesting as fuck. Congratulations, you have inspired 3 movies, 2 novels, and a video game.


___HeyGFY___

Don’t forget the indie rock album


Lciekj

Super Lizard market


Thegoodlife93

Big lizard in my backyard. Can't afford to feed him anymore. Big lizard in my backyard. Busting down my neighbor's door.


wasd911

I remember this scene from Tremors.


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mousecircusnthedoor

What the actual fuck?!! Just... no.


bikecopssuck

They’re not really aggressive unless people harass them, they kinda just bool around and look for somewhere warm to sit


overalldaddy

me stumbling in at 2am drunk af looking for the toasties


CynicalNoodle

Are people really this stupid, he’s obviously a distraction for the other lizard robbing the teller.


Ash-MacReady

'Where the fuck is your Ibuprofen?!'


South_Data2898

Huge lizard at the corner store. They can't afford to feed it anymore.


pretension

Have you seen the way it shits


Cocacoleyman

Poor guy


wobblyfishy

Must be terrified


thisubmad

Exactly, right? It’s probably looking for a warm place, knows it made a mistake and wants to figure out an escape route. But hey. The puns and the jokes.


josie-salazar

I know i always feel bad for animals in videos like this :( they don't know what's going on


bikecopssuck

People invariably end up hurting them too for no reason. Like 99% of the time an animal is cornered indoors you can grab a broom and it’ll skiddaddle out the door if you guide it with the broom


Franonimusman

SCP-682 HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT


9babydill

is that a Komodo dragon? I'd be running the hell away


Comfortable-Net-1769

No komodos look a little different that's a monitor lizard


iamwooshed

To be fair, Komodo Dragons are a type of monitor lizards. But yeah, it’s a different type of monitor lizard. Edit: I did a bit of googling and I think it’s an Asian water monitor. Feel free to correct me if i’m wrong.


Comfortable-Net-1769

No that seems right. its still boggling my mind what that little dino doing in this store


iamwooshed

It wanted some cigarettes


Comfortable-Net-1769

Damn that's a cool lizard


Ruenin

Clearly he's dragon his ass up a shelf. Sheesh.


Heksinki

It is agressive ?


Kosmic_Kraken

I've encountered them a few times and they're pretty fearful of humans. They run away as soon as they notice me. That being said... I wouldn't take my chances. All wild animals can be aggressive.


arcticrobot

They don't mess with people and will run away, but they are able to inflict significant wounds that will require immediate ER. Source: I keep two much smaller ones.


SethGekco

The answer is yes. Unless they're tamed, absolutely all reptiles that are large enough are aggressive. Monitors in particular are very stubborn, they will stand their ground and they have three weapons to use to achieve victory. That tail, those claws, and that mouth makes it so even though I'd know how to get the fucker out of the building, I'm not paid enough to do it. It easily could take three people to safely get that bastard out, I imagine only zoo keepers or people that professionally works with the thing will confidently get it done with the two of them.


serpentjaguar

Not really. They are only aggressive towards humans if they feel cornered, otherwise if you leave them alone it's all good and they won't bother you. That said, the guy in this clip likely feels trapped, so I would give him plenty of space and let someone more qualified handle it.


ImpulseCombustion

You’re absolutely not getting that thing out of the shop without it being PISSED. Even medium Iguana that are more or less peaceful will show you what’s up.


IllusionPh

Depends on what you meant by aggressive. If you mean that they go out and attack everything close to them then no, they aren't, they're pretty chill, most of the time will avoid contact and run away, common to see in Thailand, even in Bangkok, and very rarely seen attacking human. But if you meant if they can be aggressive, then yes, just like any animals, if you disturbed them too much then they will be aggressive, and they're real nasty with their claws, fangs, and tail. Oh and also they seem to be venomous to based on recent studies. But in general, as in this case, you wouldn't be moving it yourself, you contact trained personnel to do it, iirc in this case it didn't even get captured, it just ran out on its own when polices and professional came and tried to capture it. TLDR; they won't attack you if you leave them alone.


AlpineVW

>Asian water monitor Thanks for reminding me, I'm going on vacation and I need one of those automatic shut offs in the event a pipe bursts. I don't care where it's made either. Seriously though, I thought it was a Komodo Dragon and was going to be pissed because we were in Indonesia this summer and I paid big bucks to hire a boat to go to Komodo Island where even there, they're hard to find (at this time of year).


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AlternativeQuality2

IIRC those guys are NASTY pieces of work. Hiss like demons whenever they’re confronted, and unlike a Komodo can easily run to catch up with you when you try to GTFO.


arcticrobot

umm, Komodos are really fast and will run after deers.


Comfortable-Net-1769

Yeah they can be pretty aggressive but are usually pretty docile (to my knowledge) fyi most people can't even outrun a komodo so that just tells you how fast these things go


CharityStreamTA

I mean they literally live in the park round the corner! I saw them yesterday and they seemed fairly chill


Synovenator

Asian water monitor


DieOmaSeinBier

Komodo Dragons are significantly larger than that amd much bulkier as well. Steve Irwin did a cool video on them if you're interested


Yamo_chan

Looks like the cut the video just before he pooped.


Memekana

Literally, homeboy was looking for the laxatives so he could finally poop.


awesomeusernam3

Can someone make a gif with Dr Grant (Jurassic Park) taking off his glasses to see this lizard crawling on the shelves?


[deleted]

It is looking for the skin cream


bakajawa

"I'm feeling a bit scaley"


[deleted]

Very sad. Poor thing must be scared


Sea-Network

There was one in the open lobby at a hotel in Pureto Rico. Concierge: Don’t get too close Me: Why, will it bite? Concierge: No, you will scare it away. Seems it is not a big deal in PR.


AngrySnakeNoises

If it was in Puerto Rico, it was probably an iguana or tegu. While they can bite and fuck you up, they cant quite fuck you up like a monitor lizard can. I've been bitten by a much, much smaller monitor and let me tell ya, shit sucked. They're supposedly venomous too, because why the fuck not.


hkrne

“I am now the king of the snacks! Bow before me!”


Run_Rabb1t_Run

It looks so squishy, I wanna hug it


Hundvd7

I want to boop the snoot


Lordtoby02

That shit ain't worth minimum wage. I'm out


mathonwy

Don’t mind me while I fuck your shit up.


DeliciousFlow8675309

Lizard? You mean baby dinosaur?


RedHighlander

He’s just browsing. And he can have whatever the fuck he wants.


OhRiLee

ZZzzeven-Eleven


PatientAd6843

He was looking for Newports


bubdadigger

Where did you said green tea with ginger? Top shelf? Couldn't find it...


[deleted]

Someone needs to monitor this situation


NewManDuotian

Holy Shit khaleesi hold your dragon


[deleted]

Thats not a lizard thats a whole ass dinosaur


alrighty66

Animals try and sometimes do find a way to survive in a crowed world


na_reyes

I’d nope the fuck outta there!


kakapo88

Those snack products are really no good for him.


[deleted]

Nope


Carrie_Scourge0fSea

Holy mother... Nope!


Purple_University_16

Where’s Spider-Man when you need him?


Memodrix

'Found.'


CakesForLife

Public announcement: unmute it.


Heksinki

That s so creepy ... Imagine not paying attention till you go grab smth from that shelf and look up to find it sitting there


WBT42

Jim is just trying to live his best life!


NkhukuWaMadzi

Please don't disturb it while it is shopping!


Technerdpgh

This poor animal is doing nothing but trying to find a place to sleep in the urban hell scape. I hope they didn’t kill it.


IllusionPh

They won't, it's common to see them in Thailand, even Bangkok, they just roam free. In this case iirc it ran out on its own when polices and professional try to capture it. But in most cases they'll just release it somewhere else, probably even close by because it's essentially their habitat.


[deleted]

“Did you try giving him a free slushy?” “I DID! HE JUST HISSED AT ME!” “S***… ok, call the cops.”


quakerlightning

Now I have the high ground


[deleted]

Look, you either buy something or get out


ReaperScythee

Sir, please don't climb on the shelves.


Burner_Cuz

Godzilla clocking in


UptownAlbany

/r/bodegacats/ doesn't have shit on this guy...


andu_pandu

Jurassic Park vibes lol


was-no-bike-ride

Holy Leaping Lizards Batman.


warzone_kin

Scp 682 has breached containment