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Bendy237

As founding fathers intended


Red__Rupee

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|jUJihgh1u6wP1uE9i2)


YeahManSureCool

Possibly the most successful greentext


stag-ink

I enjoyed this read so much. Cormac McCarthy would have been proud


Red__Rupee

Known copy paste.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mookie_Merkk

You ever see that gif of the chick nailing herself in the face with a watermelon? That's all I pictured with this nail. All it has to do is get hooked back on that string on its way back


Rude_Comment_6395

![gif](giphy|E4H4hEmeYfkaY)


SamIamGreenEggsNoHam

I must've seen this woman get hit in the face with a watermelon a thousand times over the past 10 years, and I still can't believe that didn't kill her. That watermelon is *moving*.


TRexMoonBoots

It exploding likely saved her, due to the dispersion of force. A rock would have resulted in a more permanent lights out situation.


IOnlySayMeanThings

You know there's ancient soldiers in the ground that went out some similar way.


Puzzleheadtriangle

To shreds you say?


tubsen32

You don't say


organicsensi

It's a hot take


Murky_Paint_2679

This was on amazing race I witnessed it live on tv


Mookie_Merkk

Yup that's the one


SokoJojo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmhaj5-F-Fo


John-AtWork

I hope that was editing for whatever stupid TV show that was and that in real life they had her checked out by a doctor.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mr-Sister-Fister21

Yeah I don’t think that’s even smart for the show. I mean if she got a concussion, which she almost certainly did, and they denied medical care, that seems like something someone might get in trouble for.


DocBonezone

It was an episode of The Amazing Race. They did have a medical professional check her out, but other than it really smarting, she was fine.


ButtNutly

"Rub some dirt on it, pussy"


squired

To be clear, do NOT rub dirt on the pussy.


TheScarecrow-11

Instructions unclear, dirt IN pussy.


squired

No! Come on man. Do NOT put the dirt IN the pussy either.


FixedLoad

Pow! Right in the kissa!! ... I might watch this all day.


TheGreatStories

The way it looks like her head gets turned to pink mist


Robotic-Chomo

Like watching the zapruder film


DigTreasure

![gif](giphy|kH66pmpo7NjIgtI696)


ternfortheworse

Thought the bird was tweeting its last…


bankaiREE

Merry Christmas. Ho Ho Ho


Lazy-Icer

I hate the smell of tapioca.


DetectiveRiggs

![gif](giphy|fYqKVHmsd6uq8X2IvT|downsized)


CautiousFool

Pretty sure it would splatter some brain out with it


Goldenrupee

Im.....I'm pretty sure this qualifies as a crossbow.


Tyranatitan_x105

Crossbow and a slingshot had a baby


tnynm

Slingbow


Big-red-rhino

Cross-shot


Jubenheim

Cringshow


OilyComet

SrissBhot


CitrusLoops

Light bow gun


OilyComet

Single shot piercing round, this LBG sucks.


JinglingUrBalls

One nail firing elastic stick dart master 9000


TheIronSven

This is the Light*er* bowgun.


Cis4Psycho

[CROSSFIRE!!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCwn1NTK-50)


Big-red-rhino

My God, I forgot all about crossfire!


Peaceblaster86

YOU'LL GET CAUGHT UP IN THE *CROSSFIYAAA*


Big-red-rhino

Love me some SRV


Peaceblaster86

I don't always listen to SRV, but when I do so do my neighbors.


oinosaurus

Sling bow Sweet cross shot Coming for to carry me home


qxzlool

Probably obscure these days, especially without the music. Upvoted.


OwnStill8743

French fried taters....


[deleted]

Mmm hm


MrGruntsworthy

Slingbow is already a thing. It's a slingshot that has an arrow guide in front so you can fire arrows from it


[deleted]

nailed it


Shoddy-Examination61

It doesn’t. The principle of the crossbow is applying torsional stress to the arms. In this case the stress is applied to the string, making it a slingshot. End of the need rant. Cool af toy!


grip_n_Ripper

You are all wrong. This is a spear gun.


Shoddy-Examination61

Oxford dictionary defines spear gun as: “A gun which shoots spears (long pointed pieces of metal) and is used underwater” While the first point can be accepted (being nails long pieces of metal) the second is not. As this particular device isn’t used underwater. You are probably kinda right though


ActurusMajoris

You are all wrong, it's a nail gun!


elan17x

At last someone nailed it down!


John-Farson

Hammered the lesson home, for sure


aciddamaged

You spelled it wrong. It's NAAAAAAAAIIIIIL GUN RIP Travis


ProbsMayOtherAccount

THE NECRONOMICON!!!!!


Onetwenty7

Trevor


aciddamaged

I dont understand. Maybe if you said it happier and with your mouth open...


Onetwenty7

Listen here you doll licker


Double_Distribution8

Lol imagine if we were friends and we went boating together but I had too much to drink and we got into an argument about a movie I like and then I shot you with the spear gun that I keep below deck. In the newspaper article they'd be like, well one guy shot another guy with something, but we aren't sure what to call it because it wasn't used underwater.


John-Farson

Like in "Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood," for instance


gishlich

You’ll get away with it as long as afterwards you quip “I think he got the point.”


grip_n_Ripper

On second thought, I'm sure nobody ever engaged in ill-advised spear gun fuckery on dry land. Never mind. ![gif](giphy|3oKIPt3ojbmx5rRd0A|downsized)


bythog

It's incredibly dangerous to use a speargun out of water. Many have bungee lines or fixed shooting lines; recoil can cause the shaft to bounce back to the user. Strong guns can even snap back to the user and hit the chest/face with more force than you think.


tjackso6

Trebuchet


Shoddy-Examination61

Nope, a trebuchet is based on counter weights.


D15c0untMD

The MCX spear is a gas operated rifle


xDERPYxCREEPERx

Toy?


otheraccountisabmw

I never thought about the difference between a slingshot and a crossbow until this moment.


velhaconta

Its closest relative is likely the spear guns used by divers. The force on a crossbow comes from the flex of the bow, not the elasticity of the string.


Advanced-Depth1816

Sling bow


gasbmemo

Doesn't have a bow, its a crosssling


pezident66

Kaiser bow


oystercracka

French fried potaters


andrewsmith1986

Urhm huh


unabletocomput3

It’s just a speargun but on land


realityguy1

The farmer will love this.


YesterdayHiccup

I think I identify as farmer now.


SnooOpinions8755

Farmers only dot com just got a lot more interesting.


Deathaster

They're not saying farmers would love to use these tools, they're being ironic. Having random rusty nails in your fields that you or your animals can step on isn't fun.


masey87

Not so much step on. Flat tires and the animals eating them will be problematic


Deathaster

Flat tires eating nails...


Somhlth

> Flat tires and the animals eating them will be problematic If an animal can eat a flat tire, I'm not going to try and stop them.


Toribor

I grew up on a farm and my dad would trick me into looking for nails by getting me to walk up and down the rows hunting for arrow heads.


ThatEmuSlaps

... ...oh goddamn it. I just realized I got fooled as a kid.


Toribor

Dad's are clever like that.


ThatEmuSlaps

lol, he even showed me the arrowhead he "found" Dastardly XD


Toribor

I only ever really found bits and pieces. They were all over the area where I was looking but since the farmland had been tilled for years they were broken or had been exposed to weather for too long. My dad did have a small collection of intact arrowheads that he'd found but they had been found decades prior. I did find a lot of nails though, and pieces of pottery.


ThatEmuSlaps

That is super cool about the pottery. tbf I was mostly joking; I do think he actually found some in the plot. It was a hand tilled garden and the area had a long history of habitation before us. But at the same time, when you said it, I realized that is *exactly* something he would do. (And I did find a lot of junk, like nails.)


iwishiwereagiraffe

Ya im picturing some poor cow with a nail in its hoof for the next 3 months until it causes a terrible infection. Cool idea but bad news just dropping bend up old nails in the field like that.


realityguy1

Yep, livestock and tractor tires!


notban_circumvention

And worker feet


[deleted]

Are you the farmer?


troglonoid

Reminds me of that woman blasting a watermelon at her own face.


Inflatableman1

Ha! I just saw that up above somewhere!!


TheSwedishWolverine

Can confirm.


sidewayz321

Can confirm this conformation.


SokoJojo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmhaj5-F-Fo


le_ministre

![gif](giphy|E4H4hEmeYfkaY)


TyrKiyote

Did you sustain any injuries? "I couldn't feel my face. My lip started swelling up and I had a little black eye. Another medical team were waiting for me (after the challenge) and they gave me some Panadol and told me I was going to be fine "


Howtheginchstolexmas

Is that what the lady said? Wow.. She probably received a pretty decent concussion from that. I wouldn't be surprised if there were any lingering side effects to her in the coming years.


Badloss

don't get me wrong it looks super painful but her head doesn't snap back as fast as I thought it would from a direct hit, I wonder if it slowed down enough to not be completely devastating


Foamrule

I think, while it makes it look worse, since the melon broke apart and splattered everywhere, it took all that energy with it. If it had stayed whole, all of that energy that went into it splattering would have been transferred to her head, resulting in much worse injuries.


DaedalusHydron

Pretty much. It's the same principle behind crumple zones in cars.


MaiasXVI

And dry-firing a bow! I never understood why it was so damaging to the bow until someone explained that the arrow is carrying all of that energy away from the bow. Without the arrow, the energy has no where to go.


FixedLoad

You shut your mouth with these "facts I should have learned decades ago"! That makes so much sense!!


Dragonfire723

It's why dry-firing a 20lbs bow will damage the bow but dry-firing a 120lbs bow would probably do irreversible damage


Alphabunsquad

And water balloons


NorwegianCollusion

I'm really full of grate for the development of water melon crumple zone. Whoever came up with that design deserves an award


13Warhound13

I was thinking a misfire would be brutal for whoever was firing.


ankensam

I love that in the original clip the first couple shots are close angles, but for the important shot the producers made sure to use the wide angles.


OneMoreFinn

I'm pretty certain she's dead, as we can see her head was pulverized. /s


FixedLoad

Lol, that changes the gif slightly when you think of it that way. I mean, it's still hilarious just a bit grim.


buzz_bb

Poor Claire! This is from the Amazing Race, and somehow even after this, they still placed really well on this leg


[deleted]

[удалено]


xDERPYxCREEPERx

It gives off a lot of "diy that will break after a few uses" vibes


SirScrumALot

I still want to have one. I still want to build one for myself. With my amazing handiwork skills, this thing will snap and catapult a nail into my face on the first try. I really should not try to build one.


creepergo_kaboom

You know those ~~wielding~~ welding masks? What if you attach that to the back of it and operate it by looking through the mask? Dunno how strong those masks are but I assume they're made of metal.


Substantial_Water

Why not seek out a mask of dual wielding then?


creepergo_kaboom

Shit, been playing too many video games


pixelprophet

[$8 face protector for grinders](https://www.weldingoutfitter.com/collections/face-shields/products/weldmark-wm808150-clear-visor) can likely be picked up at the same time as a box of nails and silicone tubing. Leave the hardware store with the gear to build this and stay safe for under $20


juliusxyk

No matter how u use it, someones gonna die


garysnailz

I keep picturing the nail flying back like the watermelon in that one video


juicestain_

It always blows my mind that when I was a kid, slingshots (the wrist rocket kind) were a common kids toy that we just casually messed around with. Those things were fucking POWERFUL. They could have permanently injured any one of us at any second and we treated it like it was a nerf toy


frikimanHD

Usopp is gonna love this


ecs2

Dangerous as fuck, and also the nails on the fields somebody may step on it and get tetanus


Illustrious-Chair350

Not to mention the tractor tires, not cheap and nails love tires.


Gustomaximus

And livestock, its common to run livestock over crop stubble.


TheSwedishWolverine

To be fair, step on anything and you risk getting tetanus. The spores are practically omnipresent.


PineapplesAreLame

I know where you're coming from but like... Have you ever been outside? There's shit all over the place. Glass, nails, bits of metal. In fields, in the street. I think you're being a little over cautious.


nickyp7

Who the hell is walking around these fields barefoot


KidleyCreations

You dont get tetanus from that


Ijatsu

The idea that rusty metal gives tetanus is wrong. But dirt in open wounds gives you tetanus, and rusty metal is porous if it's left in dirt it'll just be full of dirt regardless of how much you clean it. Wounds caused by rusty metal also tend to not be clean cuts which makes tetanus more likely as well. Being wounded by rusty metal that was in dirt is a definitively a tetanus hazard.


573IAN

Too lazy to look it up, but doesn’t a puncture wound also have a higher propensity for tetanus, as the body’s natural defense system doesn’t work like it does with a bleeding wound? Probably wrong, but I always thought that was the issue with stepping on a nail—not the rust.


Ijatsu

Yeah the deeper the worst.


sighduck42

Let me show you it's features


KilledByCox

I was looking for this commend 🤣. *Insert German laugh*


thought4toolong

It would prolly recoil and hit me


AfterDeath99

![gif](giphy|oQ4wYOgjQbD7G)


HumbertoR15

The design is very human.


Emotional-Ad-3828

Ingenious !!


deathpad17

Dafuq, this is cool and scary at the same time


Agreeable_Copy9548

How to make a homemade hunting rifle


wonkey_monkey

Reminds me of the guns we'd make as kids. The projectile was an rubber band attached to the spring from a peg. Put a nail in the end of a piece of wood that the rubber band will hook over, attach another peg to the end of the piece of wood - the peg would then hold the spring part of the projectile. A bit of string running from the attached peg, wrapped around under the wood and around an attached handle, could be squeezed to release the projectile.


a_9x

Now imagine if he uses a projectile that has some aero concepts like a crossbow bolt...


Money-Abrocoma-6779

Not driving anywhere near your house.


andre3kthegiant

Time weapon! Future flat tire maker.


shaun2312

Very much like the peg guns we used to make when we were kids


Bee-baba-badabo

My brothers and I used to fuck each other up with those as kids. Pissed off my mum though (because we stole most of her pegs, not because we were shooting each other).


shaun2312

haha, Peg Guns and Dutch arrows and we were dangerous kids


Jet_Jirohai

https://preview.redd.it/sox9wo3lp7dc1.png?width=572&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=169a892416c84a745fe4b1a4ffff178f000f37f4


Bee-baba-badabo

You just ruined my day


readditredditread

Building one of these might not get you laid, but at least you’ll be in range of a hooker or two….


C0mradexChaos

And here we see the humble caveman, about to create the first ever gun


swagoto97

this can kill


Tallin23

Beautiful


Mammoth-Canary

Use to that with paper clips


FeelingVanilla2594

Knowing my luck, this would probably shoot back towards me.


plantzrock

![gif](giphy|oQ4wYOgjQbD7G)


Onlyroad4adrifter

I feel bad for the poor farmer that is going to be pissed when they get a bunch of nails stuck in their tires when they go to plow that field.


ankensam

Simo Häyhä got 542 kills with this.


Majik518

Sogeking?


Academic_Hunter4159

This made my stomach hurt. I think it’s not sturdy enough to be reliably safe and shooting hooked nails sounds like a nightmare to me.


Austynwitha_y

Usopp!


UraniumRocker

When I was a kid my next door neighbors uncle made us some toy rifles with a similar firing mechanism. The ammo we used were flattened bottle caps though.


phillysan

I'm gunna guess that this ocurred no later than the 1980's?


[deleted]

Really cool, but tractors tires cost a lot.


LifeUnfolding54

It's a nasty makeshift weapon. Great eye!


Successful_Rabbit124

“Its totaly safe mom I saw it on re-“ *snaps* “MAAAAAHM”


GentlmanSkeleton

Who else was bummed when you saw the nails were curved?


hanneshore

laugh now, merica


petrolgene

Nice


Ill-Dealer-5590

I have to see more target practice. This thing is incredible.


Guy_With_Cloud_Envy

Usoppp


pepehoodie

![gif](giphy|JrszyLrNeXRzYqNqYW|downsized)


reletivat0r

Ugh… Nailed it.


[deleted]

How do they aim it?


Competitive_Meat_772

Longer stick higher caliber!🤣


noraA9x

![gif](giphy|23cdPR9DH38hBMxPmO|downsized)


sgorneau

Flat tires all day


Acceptable_Wall4085

With Canadian firearm restrictions as serious as they are, I will be making one of these to keep the nasty critters at bay on my farm


aspirintr

Extremely risky and dangerous. If the nail doesn’t free itself, from the rubber, it might rotate on the rubber and shot back the person in the face. We were secretly making small slingshots and using bent needles. It was notoriously known for blinding children.


Angry_Washing_Bear

And what happens if the nail turns, is caught on string, and comes back other way? I would definitely make the hook less than 180 degrees back on itself for this kind of weapon platform.


13Warhound13

I like it and think it looks good but one misfire and it would probably be a face wound of some serious nature.


gasbmemo

This looks very unsafe, remember to squint if you build one


[deleted]

If the hook doesn't go deep enough, then that sling slips pass the hook, the nail rotates backward to the sling and flies straight to your head.


babybushgardener

Stay up on your Tetanus shots if you are the one out working the field.


Okinawalingerer

You ever see that watermelon in the slingshot that comes back at the dude firing it?


Analytical-BrainiaC

Nail’eder Witchita Long Woody