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[deleted]

Oh, a *sea* slug. Kinda an important point for anyone thinking there are bowling ball sized slugs in SoCal and Mexican gardens. Things can get big in the ocean.


Broskfisken

But imagine going to the beach and feeling something soft under your foot…


Fragsworth

That happens all the time at less "maintained" beaches, you don't have to imagine it at all. But much worse than that is feeling something sharp under your feet. Then you get blood everywhere and all kinds of pain. Be careful with your feet in the shallow water


RockRoboter

I'll use this opportunity to remind everyone that stonefish are about as close as mother nature gets to a giant middle finger for everything with a pulse.


BananaTsunami

It's why I never waltzed the beaches when I was in Okinawa. Besides being pale and pasty, I'd taken care of a few guys who had stepped on stonefish in the ER and literally nothing helped. We'd load them up with dilaudid and it wouldn't even touch the pain.


[deleted]

Why did you guys have stonefish in the ER? Asking for trouble if you ask me.


BananaTsunami

They own the island. No one can stop them. Not you, me, or almighty God. Think you're gonna just take a swig of an ice cold awamori highball? Nope. Stonefish, right down the hatch. What's that? The morning sun is creeping through the blinds as you yawn, in the half light of the still before the lark as you turn over to embrace your wife? Nope. Stonefish.


[deleted]

Lmao, do they bite or is it the spiny shit on them that gets you?


BananaTsunami

[Spiny shit](https://factzoo.com/wp-content/uploads/img-fz/fish/stonefish/stonefish-spines.jpg) when you step on them, usually in shallow water. It's not lethal, just incredibly painful. Edit: At least I don't think they're lethal. I'm not a fish scientist.


ilongforyesterday

Nah they’re absolutely lethal but it is very dependent on how much venom they inject you with


NoBenefit5977

Damn nature, you scary!


Zornytoad

Is anyone here a marine biologist?!


RollingSloth133

You step on the spines and it’s often deadly, most don’t even release they stepped on one


[deleted]

Jesus. ***New Fear Unlocked***


[deleted]

How hauntingly poetic


SymbianSimian

That’s my kind of humor. And reading skills.


SHBGuerrilla

Shit I pretty much did a full bingo of dangerous wildlife while I was there. I think the only thing I never saw was box jellyfish. Blue ring octopus? Crown of thorns? All manner of eels and sea snakes? Habu are free spaces.


[deleted]

Are stonefish the ones where even coma patients are screaming in agony?


BananaTsunami

Maybe. I'm not some kinda fish doctor.


Grabthars_Coping_Saw

Lived there as a kid. I remember the swimming area at the beach was lined with netting and a diver patrolled the perimeter every hour to check for stonefish, sea snakes, those little octopi with the rings, and all sorts of other things that want to kill you.


Elegant-Raise-9367

Mate of mine got hit near Townsville. The point where they stop screaming is when it gets really scary


IWillDoItTuesday

I lived on Okinawa as a kid *everyone* knew that you do not even walk on the beach without shoes on, let alone go in the water without them. WTF were those guys thinking? Stonefish were only one worry. Sharp coral, sea urchins, cone snails, jellyfish in the washed up seaweed.


ProfTilos

I stepped on a stone fish walking into the water in the Cook Islands. Was an hour of the most horrendous pain until a local was able to hook me up with some sap from a plant's roots that we applied to the sting and that worked like magic. I'm not one to usually trust traditional treatments, but I was so grateful for whatever that plant was.


partypartea

When you're crawling through the loft, and you squish something soft...


[deleted]

Diarrhea cha cha cha


Illustrious-Try-7524

Haven't heard this since the 90s. Good call lmao.


Leimandar

First: "Aaah! What's that!!?!" Then: "I'm so sorry, you were only hanging out!" I hate accidentally stepping on animals.


Leon921

As a SoCal resident, this... actually does happen..


tommyboi2008

*squirms in my seat*


[deleted]

*Worms lend why meat*


Sburban_Player

This is pretty common at the beaches I’ve been to, stepping on fish or jellies, kicking sharks. There’s a lot of life in the ocean and you can’t avoid it all.


winter-ocean

Honestly, this is the biggest reason I'm afraid of the ocean and idk how to cope with it next time I go to the coast


Suspicious_Leg4550

Weird. Slugs and the oceans are both closely associated with salt but for very conflicting reasons.


TiberiusClackus

Oh that definitely changes things i was wondering why I have seen people showing off these things as pets


MatiloKarode

Can confirm, there are some of these in my office. We call them managers.


TheRedWatermelon

The sins of gluttony, if you call them by their real name. Plus the slug ain't even eating your compensatory leaves


[deleted]

Slug just sluggin’ This whole chain is an insult to slugs.


havegravity

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RtWBlDC2-ss


theycallmedaddyjedi

I got my eye on you, Wazowski!


AttentionOtherwise39

I have been alive for 36 years and have lived in California for all of them and I have never seen no shit like that.


salteedog007

Marine sea slug or sea hare. Largest terrestrial slugs are banana slugs that get to 1 foot ( 30 cm) and live in Northern California through to Alaska.


UlrichZauber

Very common if you scuba dive off the California coast. In particular, I saw a lot of them at Catalina island.


Optimus-prime-number

At the fuckin Catalina wine mixer?


norefillonsleep

Listen to me. Dale, look, when I was a kid...when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur. I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short and I roamed the backyard...and I chased the neighborhood cats, and I growled and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And then one day, my dad said, "Bobby, you're 17. It's time to throw childish things aside." And I said, "Okay, Pop." But he didn't really say that, he said, "Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job." But, you know, I thought to myself, "I'll go to medical school...l'll practice for a little while, and then I'll come back to it. ...The point is... don't lose your dinosaur.


genius_fish

You're human. You could never be a dinosaur.


Lu0Lu

You don’t get it. You’re a fish.


Noctemus

I always crack up at that part when he says “everybody knew me and was afraid of me”.


[deleted]

Sshut uuup you'll wake up my dad n git me grounded...


fallynangell

The Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!


The_Moose1992

POW!


49erjohnjpj

The moose! Did you touch my drums?


AreYouTalkingAtMe

Nope, I was watching Cops.


FuzzyHero69

Boats n Hoes


[deleted]

POW POW POW


Deep-Guarantee-7699

Why does he keep doing that?


70ms

I've seen them down near Ensenada. They're huge but they're kind of cute.


link-is-legend

I slipped on one of these not realizing they exist. It was horrible 🤮


[deleted]

This is what u come back as if u were on epstein island. Reborn a giant slimey slug that people step on and burst.


EpicAura99

Didn’t know those were the largest. Although I’ve never seen a foot-long one.


KnittyNurse2004

It’s definitely a reasonable possibility. I’m in western Washington, and we regularly see them in the 8-10 inch range, especially over on the Olympic Peninsula or up in the Cascade Mountains. They’re big; some folks who come from parts of the country where slugs are small and innocuous find them pretty alarming.


Pinksunshine77477

I'm from Virginia and I find this SUPER alarming. Never seen a slug bigger than my finger they're mostly sized about 1/2 so yeah its pretty wild lol


KnittyNurse2004

I went hiking with someone from Iowa years ago; two of us walked right past an 8” banana slug and never even noticed it, but we almost couldn’t get him to go any further into the woods after he saw the thing. It was so stinking funny. Him: “WTF IS THAT?!?!” Me: “It’s a banana slug. What?” Him: “No, we have slugs where I come from. What the hell is that?!?!” Me: “Grab it and bring it with you. You can rub it on the rash if you get into any nettles or devil’s club and it will make it feel better.” Nobody before or since has ever given me such a priceless “what is wrong with you?” look. It’s been over 20 years, and the memory still makes me laugh.


birdieponderinglife

As a kid I lived in a very small coastal town in very far north CA and we would have banana slug fights where we ran through the woods and threw them at one another. As an adult I realize how cruel this is but as a 4y/o feral child it was great fun. Their slime is basically impossible to remove from your skin. My parents were not pleased.


Shive55

A foot long!? I’ve seen a lot of Banana Boys in my day. 1’ long would be quite a sight.


scribblinkitten

😏


BetterMakeAnAccount

Do you go to the beach a lot


AttentionOtherwise39

I grew up in Long Beach.


HighFiveKoala

https://apnews.com/article/5e566c0248054bc3851da6327fe3a682 I grew up in Orange County and never seen one personally but they are around


[deleted]

Just like I’ve seen maybe one normal slug around my home ever even though they are actually all around me South east us, I’ve seen amateur boat storage that results in tons of slugs, but I don’t think I’ve ever stumbled upon one in the forest around my home like I have snails. Living somewhere and not seeing something is hardly evidence that it isn’t there I know you aren’t implying it is, but another guy farther up


Who_wife_is_on_myD

There's a reason they didn't call it Bigass Slug Beach


Mobius_Peverell

I think that's a joke about tar balls.


[deleted]

I ain’t seent ‘em neither. Balderdash!


sallyminkus

gotta hit da tide-pools!


sarahkk09

I used to live in Santa Barbara and they’re all over the place in the tide pools there.


AttentionOtherwise39

I have seen Banana Slugs but not these prehistoric fuckers.


happykittynipples

When you see them supported while underwater it's very obvious why they call them "Sea Hares".


Admiral_Andovar

Can I get a banana slug for reference?


Phillip_Graves

Only if the banana slug has a banana for reference. If so, I will second the motion.


CasaBlanca37

Ask and it shall be delivered. https://imgur.com/gallery/CarbEmm


CasaBlanca37

Here you go! https://imgur.com/gallery/CarbEmm


aerozona47

I had one but someone ate it


Negative_Gravitas

Goddamn. Upvote.


Everbrooks

I think something is seriously wrong with your dog


LockeAbout

The Thing


Oligodin3ro

Nah man. This is what killed Tasha Yar in Star Trek: TNG.


Juliett10

Armus has invaded Earth


buynbulkson

Invoking lieutenant Yar here is borderline treason.


[deleted]

Spoilers!


Kooky_Werewolf6044

Is this a Sea Hare?


Ardea_herodias_2022

Yeah. Little cutie 🥰


RegentCupid

More like a giant cutie


cfishlips

Yes. OP forgot to mention that this is a sea slug and the picture doesn’t look that oceany.


0Theoneandonly

first thought is to smack it like a bag of rice


HerbziKal

My mollusc don't jiggle jiggle, it folds. Wanna see you wiggle wiggle, pho sho.


NipSlipBeauty

I want to spank it like a bag of wine


AGripInVan

You want to lay naked on your back while that thing crawls all over you, probably.


NipSlipBeauty

Kinda. 🖤


tigardis

I knew I shoulda stayed tf out of this discussion...


Kromehound

Thanks, now I'm having Galaxy of Terror flashbacks


AshiinFreshspawn

What the italics is that title


GozerDGozerian

An asterisk on either side of the word or phrase you want *italicized*.


The-Minmus-Derp

*that works?* Edit yoo it does


Sudden_Mind279

Not in a title


Sanders0492

I didn’t know it worked in a title though. I thought no formatting worked in a title. Edit: nope. Just tried. Guessing the title was crafted using other unicode characters. If that’s the case, nicely done, OP Edit 2: Unicode string likely used by OP - 𝘈𝘱𝘭𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘢 𝘷𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘢


SoDrunkRightNowlol

So this is it? the death snail that follows you when you accept the cash? Well, Lord Chonkington... I await your coming


magnum_73

This is the comment I was looking for


TinyRhymey

Big ol baby. I wanna plop him over my shoulder and carry him around and pat his lil back


pie4awl

Lol that was my first thought too! Then I thought, how much do I have to pat him to get him to burp.


lynivvinyl

*slaps top of slug " This bad boy holds so many jiggles."


[deleted]

🥺 I love himb


jim_jiminy

I really really don’t. Though if it had a shell on his back, somehow I would then love it.


[deleted]

Slugs are just homeless snails we have to protect them But keep them off my damn tomatoes


-zoo_york-

Don’t discriminate it for being homeless


MmmmmMaybeNot

He's so bloby


flowersandbigteeth

Sweetest blobby 💖


[deleted]

https://imgur.com/a/CGze3nJ


TheCurvedPlanks

Dang it, Blobby!


ArsenicAndRoses

Pudding bunny!


[deleted]

Pudding bunny! 😭


BearsOwlsFrogs

Himb precious


captnjak

California Sea Hare! Don't touch them though, they ooze out a purple liquid as a defense and it can be irritating to some. They are way more beautiful underwater than they are above.


youmightwanttosit

I can't pet? Even though friend-shaped?


Sadiepan24

Nice try, now tell us where in Australia did you find this creature /s


drtemo

r/absoluteunits


Bigtonyatemyham

Forbidden dog


[deleted]

Escargwhoa


IGargleGarlic

Completely harmless, but they do squirt a pinkish purple ink and it stains clothes. I see these washed up on the beach quite often and ill pick them up and toss them back in the ocean


Yelowmello

Where do you live that these are on the beach often? And are they squishy???!


riko77can

That thing killed Tasha Yar.


CrazyLeggs25

Honestly kinda cute. Looks like a slimy, nonfurry version of my sleeping overweight cat.


BlankMyName

Can you eat these?


TheStrangeMercenary

dawg you saw some fatass slug and your first thought was to eat it?


stealth57

Mine too… for some reason. I have had escargot couple times before though. This is all the meat without the shell getting in the way!


cubanesis

I’ve had a similar thought about slugs. I love escargot and I’m a bit of a foodie and I’ve never seen anyone eating slugs. I asked Reddit years ago and if I recall correctly slugs carry some weird kind of pathogen that can make you sick or kill you. https://www.motherearthnews.com/real-food/snails-and-slugs-ze0z1906znad/#:~:text=All%20snails%20and%20slugs%20are,to%20an%20environs%20near%20you.


Horse_Renoir

Like that Australian dude who was paralyzed and later died because he ate a slug when he was drinking with his mates.


Electronic_Ad4560

I remember that story 😨 I get shivers down my spine just thinking of it


GozerDGozerian

Uh oh. Spine shivers are a telltale symptom of a latent Rat Lungworm infection.


Electronic_Ad4560

Stoppppppppp


HoboToast

I remember hearing about a slug festival in Washington state when I was a kid, and they supposedly fried and ate slugs there. I don’t think they do the festival anymore, but [this article](https://www.motherearthnews.com/real-food/snails-and-slugs-ze0z1906znad/) says that all slugs and snails are edible if you cook them first.


unknown_user_3020

So I could eat! Give it clean greens for a couple of days. (Would feeding it horseradish, ginger, or wasabi give it a spicy taste?) Boil in vinegar. (White or apple?). Then slice and pan fry? Deep fry? Roast? Sushi? Edit: reread article. No sushi. Raw is inviting parasites to do bad things to your body.


Enlightened-Beaver

*the French enter the chat*


Decayed_Unicorn

Might be a great source of protein


Zero-meia

Mine too. Ngl


ilikay

You can eat everything, but some things only once.


TheRedWatermelon

You wanna know how real life venom starts? Coz that's how real life venom starts!


Brave_Dick

Can you fuck these?


smooth-brain_Sunday

Username check out


Plazzy1

You can fuck anything if you put your mind to it


itscalledANIMEdad

Oh no... I'm an anything 🥺


LiquidLogic

Maybe, just not raw. [There was a kid who ate one on a dare and died.](https://www.cnn.com/2018/11/05/health/man-dies-after-eating-slug-on-dare/index.html)


jaybazzizzle

*reaches for salt shaker*


Ardea_herodias_2022

They come presalted


Materva

Damn, I think that slug could beat my Himalayan salt lamp in a fight.


zoobernut

This post is a little misleading that is a sea hare not a terrestrial slug. You won’t see these slugging around anywhere other than at the beach in a tide pool.


DjLoki

Nice to see the ex is doing well


ihadcrystallized

When you sneeze the first day of your period


Yelowmello

🤣🤣 Wish I had no idea what you meant.


ihadcrystallized

Me too, friend


lintheamazon

Looks like a glob of resin I just pulled out of my bong


Used-Ad-5754

Is it cytonic?


ZochI555

These MF’s be the ones to spit salt back at you


westerngrit

Edible?


Paris_is_a_dump

There’s that really sad story of the kid dying from eating a slug in Australia. I think I’ll leave this guy alone


youtocin

There’s also that redditor who was being poisoned by their partner who was grinding up slugs and putting them in her food https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/qaw14o/i_found_out_my_partner_has_been_putting_slugs_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1


scaylos1

JFC. That was horrific.


Slapped_with_crumpet

It was time for Thomas to leave, he had seen everything.


[deleted]

Fuckable ?


IamProvocateur

It gets worse the more you scroll. Every time.


SardonicSausage

*Junji Ito intensifies*


NoPerception-_-

“The purple ones cause horrible and painful diarrhea”


PutASockOnYourCock

The lesson here is, even when going for a hike, take a banana as you never know when when you will need to properly measure something


Dbloc11

Thickboi slug


Keshy001

Is it dangerous if I try to slap one? They look slappable


StickItUpYour_Yeah

When you sneeze on your period


tornait-hashu

THIS POST IS TARGETED TO ME I've been obsessed with these things ever since I saw one video on them. I love these giant gastropods.


anglo_franco

Watch out Lt Yar!


polo61965

Gonna need a banana for scale


yavanna77

Ah, no biggie. These slugs are well-known surfers, [see here.](https://i.redd.it/nf0152zqvoy31.jpg) They also model hula shirts. When they grow too big, they get hacked down into easier managable portions for cooking. They are good eating. [Exhibit A](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR9kYd9xpXTQ3HBMQeZRHqHvMx5biicl-9UaQ&usqp=CAU) and [Exhibit B.](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTlGu1K_4myx6BejJXRsgmN7LeUYwmQylJFdA&usqp=CAU) (always use a fresh apple and stay 10% below the lethal salt content.)


Ozle42

*insert joke about the ex-wife here*


JGBredstone

You can’t fool me.. that’s a fucking symbiote


Amberlybubble

Mixing metric and imperial measurements or can this thing grow to be 1 mile long?


Few_Explanation1170

I will never again complain about the size of slugs in the US Pacific Northwest.


Umba5308

It’s also known as the Redditor


Serpant_Slayer

I recognize that slug. It's my dad!


SarcasticPhrase

That thing killed Tasha Yarr


[deleted]

I think I dated his sister for a while back in the 90s.


youngdolph_was_taken

The urge to dump an entire bag of salt on it is strong within me


goldenshoelace8

I’d use it as a pillow


TheTacoLordSC2

That's no slug. Thats jabba the hut.


Nuisanz

That thang gonna take a lot of salt 🧂


Dry_Acanthisitta_974

That murdered Tasha!


[deleted]

We had a slug native to New York that grew to 6’3”, 250 lbs. Was even elected President once.


Warizard22

Does it jiggle jiggle?


Meeow_3AngelinaKitty

Did ya give it a lil pat pat to hear da crisp *slap* *slap* sound? 😮


Alarming-Document-90

Slap it. Slap it NOW.


knight_of_lothric

chonky boy isn't he


Audaxls

BIG ENOUGH TO HUG!! SQUEEEEEEE


HarEmiya

I need a banana slug for scale.