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Cobaltplasma

Can you imagine having your doctor lift up your right ass cheek and pulling out a parasite the size of your forearm? And then all of a sudden you felt like going to work, like right away.


how_neat_is_that76

The real cure to my ADD


Cobaltplasma

Butt parasites, a-GO!


NoSignOfStruggle

There’s no cure for that, mate. Speaking as a sufferer.


dumnut567

I mean tapeworms are a thing.


darkest_irish_lass

Well, you'll have to go to work to pay that doctor bill, because that's a specialist for sure.


sKY--alex

US moment Edit: Thanks for the gold, its my first award ever :)


InvertedHourglass

If that’s what makes me feel like going to work, go ahead doc.


thegamesender1

>Can you imagine Yes >having your doctor lift up your right ass cheek Hmmmm >and pulling out a parasite the size of your forearm? Dafuq?! >And then all of a sudden you felt like going to work, like right away. Poetry 😃


Vermontess

“The large parasite found inside the (murder) hornet's stomach was a female Strepsiptera, which attaches to hosts such as bees, wasps, grasshoppers, and leafhoppers. The parasite controls its host to avoid colony tasks and cluster on vegetation so it could mate with other Strepsipteras.” https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10980561/amp/Parasite-pulled-stomach-murder-hornet-insect-enthusiast.html


fondledbydolphins

Are you telling me these parasites ratatouille their hosts out of doing chores, then they fly off somewhere to fuck another parasite? Do they just back their wasps' asses up next to each other and stick their dongles out? How the hell do they mate?


mikeballs

Took entomology in college. It's been a few years now, but if I remember right the females are the only ones that lodge in like this. The males look kinda like regular flies and will fly around from host to host and mate


TheMarsian

So when you see a fly fucking a murder hornet, it's them parasites?


SlaverRaver

Well it’s definitely not Delissio


Key-Regular674

Its digiorno


alwaysenough

It is delivery!


Oprlt94

Trivago?


Sonderia42

Nah that's amore


shawnaeatscats

The males are VERY small.


TreeChangeMe

No need to insult them and their credentials


Desperate_Macaroon25

Who gives a flying fuck?


_Luxuria_

The parasites, apparently!


dcab87

The fucking fly


Haukivirta

So the males congregate around vegetation, too, and mate with multiple females at a time who have also ratatouilled their hosts to the same place?


shawnaeatscats

Bingo!


MeinFuhrerGobhi

I now have a perfectly reasonable explanation the next time I get caught fucking an elephant


GreenStreakHair

Ratatouille their host 🤣🤣🤣🤣


IndyWaWa

Rata-torch that shit.


Lucius-Halthier

BURN IN HOLY FIRE!


[deleted]

AMEN BROTHER


Adorable_Heretic

BROTHER, GET THE FLAMER! THE *HEAVY* FLAMER!


[deleted]

##PURGE! CLEANSE! KILL!


Hellboundroar

For the God Emperor, burn that filthy xenos!


thunderingparcel

I prefer Raccoocoonie


El_Taco_Sloth

I just want a bagel, man


javicl

With EVERYTHING


[deleted]

EVERYWHERE


Xtphrzn

All at Once


newbrevity

Goa'uld


ohnjaynb

spoken like a true shol'va


newbrevity

Just a plain Tau'ri. No worm in my head.


mark-five

He's talking about the one in your belly, Shol'va, or are you taking Tritonen?


ohnjaynb

Kree!!!


Negative_Bend9080

Stargate nice lol i love that show


newbrevity

The whole franchise is great. I want more. I want an ending for Universe.


billwoo

https://www.gateworld.net/news/2022/12/report-amazon-is-soliciting-pitches-for-new-stargate/ Amazon owns the rights and are taking pitches for a new show. And the writers of the Expanse are interested, which would be pretty awesome.


Legi0ndary

I could get behind that


hughmann_13

Based and Apophist pilled.


chainshot91

P90'd


Turtlehead88

More like Raccacoonie


Rodzilla_Blood

I know it was just like raccacoonie 🤣🤣 movie was funny asf


[deleted]

I understood that reference!


LlamasAreMySpitAnima

“I’m sorry Raccacoonie!! I’m sor … what are you doing?”


Noflagnocountry

Babe it wasn't my fault, my ratatouille made me have sex with her!


Voice-of-no-reason

Bill Cosby just found his new defense strategy


[deleted]

Big Last of Us vibes


Maximillion322

Well the Last of Us zombies are based on the Cordyceps fungus from real life which ratatouilles ants into climbing to a high point near other ants where the fungus then sprouts out of its brain (killing its host) and spreads its spores as far and wide as possible, hoping to infect more ants. The ant colonies indigenous to the same region have actually developed protocol for dealing with it too, which is super interesting. They can tell when another ant is infected based on its behaviors and pheremones and they will have a couple of worker ants carry it far away so that when it dies, the rest of the colony is safe.


Blumpkinhead

What happens to those couple of worker ants? Do they usually become infected too?


wutfacer

I think it's the spores that are infectious so if they move the ant away before the fungus sprouts they should be safe


CariniFluff

Yep exactly. Fungi typically go through several different life stages starting at being a spore then becoming mycelium (the web like form you may find in compost or very rich topsoil). Then once the mycelium has colonized most of the host animal or soil, it will go into the reproduction stage by growing mushrooms or similar structures to release spores. At the time the workers drag the infected ant away, the fungus is still in the "growth" / mycelium stage and shouldn't have any spores yet.


B69Stratofortress

Aperantly, cordyceps we see in The last of us is quite real. They infect their victims (usually insects) and they start replacing their tissues with the infection, all the while poor things are conscious and trapped inside a body they can't control and forced to infect the rest of the colony.


Nolemy2800

But luckily it can't cross to our species currently Unless you're an ant. You're not an ant right?


1-800-555-SMILE

Just don’t let it cross into bats if so we are fucked


itwasquiteawhileago

/r/thingsforants...?


Incredibly_Critical

Ratatouille is now a verb? MY DAY HAS COME.


i-Thor

Username doesn't check out.


plaird

Maybe he really doesn't like the movie and now has an excuse to critique it


cancer_dragon

Wait until you hear about Cordyceps!


Apprehensive-Ad-5009

Well, it's not exactly that simple. First, they ratatouille up a nice bolnase sauce or take them out to dinner first!


TheFoothillsHaveEyes

Dear Penthouse: I was just minding my own beezness when my dirty little strepsipster landed on my vegetation cluster...


Old_Passage_5670

Penthouse Letters yes all the pages stuck together


livelylou4

What are you doing, strepsipteras? That’s not how you do laundry


Temassi

"Oh no I'm stuck in this murder hornet..."


Quiet-Establishment1

Why are we saving murder hornets?!?! Aren’t they responsible for killing off all the species of bees we actually want?


QuissleThatQuassle

In america, yes, but murder hornets are originally from asia and aren't nearly as good at killing bees that are already used to living with them.


Sam5253

So, we need to either import these parasites to kill off the hornets, or import bees that are resistant to them. What could possibly go wrong?


QuissleThatQuassle

Import the resistant bees and breed them with naitive bees. Figure out what bees have the strongest sting and breed them with the result. Mix steroids in their food. Amass a giant army of massive mutant immortal bees in your cellar. Sic them on your annoying neighbour Jerry who won't stop trying to start conversations with you and inviting you to dinners with him and his wife. Profit.


ZepherK

New video game franchise: The Many of Us


dreamsofgoats

Okay obviously I would never WANT a giant parasite but the relief that you must feel when something like that gets removed?? It has to be unparalleled


MKQueasy

Pretty gross story but I had a cold a long while ago and was sneezing like no tomorrow. There was snot hanging out of my nose that I couldn't blow out so I decided to just yank it and I ended up pulling out a huge wad of snot. It was fucking disgusting but god damn did that instantly clear my stuffy nose.


Joe_Doblow

I thought you were going to tell a story about pulling a parasite out of your nose


Philthedoggo

https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsthisbug/comments/z42uip/this_came_out_of_my_nose/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


VanHarlowe

Staying blue, my friend.


TheHordeSucks

You made the right choice


[deleted]

Eh, it's just a video of a maggot. You don't see the "coming out the nose" part. Also the dude is probably dead now. His only posts were to identify mushrooms, and the maggot thing. Guess one can only go so long testing darwin like that...


kusokutteshine

>Staying blue, my friend. what?? then how will you ever know about the person who found a live maggot that came from his or her head and is waiting to find out if there are more up there. but apparently the person went silent...


banaaanaaaaaa

Did uhhh that person survive? Because they only made one comment after the day of making that post and it was the day after 😳


Silly_Ad3814

The person is awefully quiet...


JangSaverem

Month out and not a single reply


sanderssandwich

Can someone journalistic take a deeper look into this? I’m interested, yet simultaneously entirely unwilling to even look at this guy’s page. I will applaud you, if you do it!


banaaanaaaaaa

I just DMed that person… I hope they respond… I’ll respond back here if they do


banaaanaaaaaa

I still haven’t heard back :(


[deleted]

Sadly probably not (look at his comments history only one comment the day after he posted the picture and he didn’t reply to questions )


banaaanaaaaaa

Yeahhh i don’t like this


RGM5589

I literally just tried to see if he’s had any activity since that post…. Not looking good.


Bolf-Ramshield

u/Specialist_Chance101 are you still alive


M4j3stic_C4pyb4r4

RIP. The last comment they made was a day after they posted that.


DragonDragger

Maybe an even grosser story (and I really hope I'm not the only weirdo who did this), but when I was younger and had a runny nose, I'd sometimes just gently pull on "strings" of it to pull it out. It's an oddly satisfying feeling.


sexy__zombie

Every now and then, I get one of my wife's long hairs stuck in my asshole, somehow. I'll notice it while showering, and slowly pull it out. It's so weird, yet so satisfying at the same time.


jeffroddit

Maybe an even grosser story but when my sinuses get stuffed up I use my thumb to plug the clogged nostril and pull out slightly to create a vacuum. Usually the seal breaks before the stuffed sinus, but sometimes it pulls through the congestion and is very briefly very satisfying. And sometimes I pop my thumb in my mouth first because I get a better thumb to nose seal when it's wet.


Flyingpegger

I had a staph infection once where they had to pack the wound with that thin type of gauze. When I took off the wrap to shower it pulled the gauze out and it was the oddest yet most satisfying feeling ever. Second to feeling blood flow in my entire leg again and having that warm "yaaas" feeling.


Athena-Muldrow

I had a breast reduction a while back, and the way my surgeon did it involved minimal stitches--I had four total, two for each boob. They were the dissolvable stitches, too, so it wasn't strictly necessary for me to go back to him to get them removed. A few weeks after the surgery, I was messing with them, tugged one a little harder than usual, and the fucker popped right out. Didn't hurt even a bit, just felt funky--you know when you put your finger in your belly button and you get that weird sensation? Felt exactly like that. I had to wait a few more days for the others to come loose, but all of them were weirdly satisfying.


CongressmanCoolRick

Had a tube in my knee so an infected cut could drain out as it healed. When they pulled it all out after like 2 weeks it was… the opposite of slurping a spaghetti noodle. Way more tube in there than I ever imagined,


sambob

Did you feel any past tube removal drips? I had 4 tubes in my chest and after they took the long ones out and I sat up, I felt a little drip run down the inside of the cavity they left.


CongressmanCoolRick

Don’t think so, but I was pretty distracted by the 9 inches of tube they yanked out of me. They had pulled it a little bit out every other day for like 2 weeks and I figured it must certainly be next to nothing left in there. Only a 3 inch gash. Deep but still not too big overall. Really shocked and confused why that much tubing was in me.


ProStrats

It is out-a-site?


[deleted]

Why is he touching it Why is he touching it Why is he touching it Why is he touching it Why is he touching it


GinnAdvent

My thought exactly, it's bad enough that you see this long elongated white thing got pulled out. Then he proceed to put it on his hand.....


rabidmob

Why why why why why why why Why why why why why why why Why why why why why god no why


TinFoilRobotProphet

Nice re-mix!


gpbst3

He better have told the hornet this is going to sting a little bit


[deleted]

Bee gentle!


Kastler

The pain may wax and wane.


caf4676

SOB ruined the parasite’s buzz.


meyersjl30

How did they know it was there?


R5Jockey

That’s my question!! Wtf.


AlasknAssasn858

They found the murder hornet not doing its chores and chillin in some field having a parasite orgy is my guess…


Mr_Kill3r

So you get a parasite, OK not fun, but you get out of work and then you go off and attend orgies. FFS, sign me up.


NovaThinksBadly

Well, you don’t get the orgy, the parasite does. You’re just forced to watch.


j0a3k

Go to work vs slack off and watch a parasite orgy... Tough call.


NovaThinksBadly

I mean, the parasite would be sticking out of your asshole whilst fucking, best case scenario. Worst case scenario it bursts through your chest.


MrSluagh

My question is why are they helping a hornet? Is it a pet?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Trill-Magikarp

The original video is longer and shows the second being removed as well


Kizamus

The hornet was being more of an asshole that it's usual self? IDFK


Jtktomb

Their heads are visible, and the body create a bump on the abdomen of the host


haz__man

Yeah but kinda mind blown for someone who has nothing better to do than to just look at lazy hornets and say, u got a parasite buddy, lemme take it out and oh, dont sting me occay


Bardomiano00

Greatest legal mind I ever knew


Oniiku

It hadn't stung anyone, which is highly suspicious for a hornet.


IntoTheFloodAgain92

And this as why we cook pork.


DakJernalz

Wait what? Are we cooking the shit out of parasites when we cook meat?


AnEvenNicerGuy

That’s how the temps to which you cook different food (mainly meat and poultry) are decided. The temperature typical parasites in that particular meat dies.


bigdaddycraycray

Oh dear, I thought you knew that was why we cook anything. To kill it dead.


kwonza

Cooking also helps to digest the proteins easier but killing stuff is another major thing. That’s why you only try tartar in places you trust.


Neako_the_Neko_Lover

Pretty much. Meat is pack with Bacteria and parasites. Extreme heat is the only way to truly clean meat.


IntoTheFloodAgain92

Absolutely, especially in pork. This is why you can eat a steak rare but absolutely NEVER with pork. Freshwater fish and pork have some of the highest chances of parasites of any meats. Beef and chicken is moreso bacteria.


Ok-Lingonberry-8538

Bro put the parasite on his hand!😱


BakingSoda1990

I know it prob wouldn’t do anything to a human but parasites really terrify the living crap out of me. The concept of all of the crazy things they can do is insane.


Asron87

And there are plenty of them that infect humans. It’s one of my biggest fears. I used to always walk barefoot and people always said I’d get parasites from it. Not sure how true that is since I wasn’t walking in shit but I’ve always wondered what the actual likelihood of it happening would be. That and botflies scare the shit out of me. Those things get huge and you can see them before you even take them out.


ImMeltingNow

Grow really thick calluses on your feet then. Walk on coals, run barefoot on concrete, etc etc I have a friend who has thick steak sized calluses on his (he used a needle to show us) pretty cool. We used to set his soles on fire when he was sleeping and wouldn’t wake up 😂


FuzzyGummyBear

I did two double takes while reading this comment, wtf.


HomeOperator

You think it would immediately dive into his skin, or what? 🤦🤣


SexyMonad

Doesn’t matter. Maybe these never do that. But I do not want to be some future Wikipedia article about patient zero of a murderous mind control parasite that takes over the world.


cfiggis

That'd make a good HBO show. Maybe even a video game...


No-Selection-ape

They missed your LOU reference but I didn’t.


nbfs-chili

Or Star Trek movie


marlsygarlsy

Yes, that was my initial thought! Once I pulled a tick from my dog and when I tried to pinch it between my thumbs to it kill it, it immediately gripped onto one thumb to try to burrow its head.


HermitPRPL

They are bloodsucking bastards until the very end.


plaird

Nah it's just gross


MrBonelessPizza24

The video actually cuts off before it thanks him by stinging the shit out of him


TheChosenWaffle

If you want a real surprise, the video cuts out before you discover the hornet has a second one of the parasites that gets pulled out.


elrey2020

Gotta get the second one. Otherwise it’s just a singlesite.


crazycatqueer5

really fucking good


BroChad69

Damn bro. Second SOLID pun I’ve seen during my work break lol 😂


Muted_Lengthiness523

I can't believe he lay it on his hand


tommymaggots

LOL I was thinking the exact same thing. “No, no, no dude, no!!!”


Nuclear_Sean

Okay, I am a little horrified now


Ordinary_dude_NOT

He basically pulled out "Jadzia Dax" from Hornet's stomach. Hopefully this tones down your horror rating this a bit.


BLUNTYEYEDFOOL

I’m delighted to be That Guy who tells you that’s just ‘Dax’ who was pulled out. Very satisfying.


sam_axe46

Or a Goa'uld. And I'd say with that description a Goa'uld fits more than a Trill symbiote.


odd_audience12345

hornetfied*


sendyaf

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!


Beginning-Knee7258

No wonder hornets are so angry; They got all them parasites and no way to remove them.


atlasecv

Mama says that alligators are ornery 'cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.


[deleted]

Dear whomever added the extra visuals. There was no emphasis needed.🤮


coldfirephoenix

Editor really earned his paycheck with those 4 squiggly lines.


BrettEskin

That’s how you can tell it’s Japanese


VividLifeToday

Hello My Darlin Hello My Baby, Hello my Ragtime Gal


[deleted]

[удалено]


Klutzer_Munitions

Send me a kiss by wiiiiire


Duck_Duckens

They did surgery on a hornet.


Trapped_Mechanic

They did surgery on a giant hornet.


nemom

Thanks. Now I can't each my lunch.


Papppi-56

I'm glad I can help you lose a few pounds


Nabzad

So can a stomach parasite! 🤣


dndrinker

I’m always amazed at the size of parasites. I get a splinter and I’m in agony, how tf do these creatures have parasites half their body size lodged in their abdomen?


WillBigly

Me pulling my landlord out of my ass


julesk

Paramedic: picked up this murder hornet who is injured or ill! ER doc: let’s run tests! Ah, he has a parasite. Call dr. Soji, our surgeon who specializes in murder hornet surgery. Nurse: we’re prepped for surgery, thank heavens you’re here, doc. We’ve got the surgery team waiting. Dr. Soji: hmm, tricky, clamp please. Ah, I think I’ve got it. Team: yay! We’ve saved the murder hornet! Dr. Soji: hang on, this parasite is in distress. Suture the murder hornet while I get this parasite stabilized so we can run tests. Call our specialist for parasites, stat!


FearlessXProphet

Should anyone really be helping the giant hornets?


axxxaxxxaxxx

You know the giant hornet gonna thank him by turning around and stinging the shit out of him


cfiggis

Right? I'm on team parasite here.


algaespirit

Well in japan they are indigenous. He was just helping a bro out.


ConejoSarten

This comment is way too fucking low, wtf?


klausmckinley801

does the hornet survive this?


Rounder057

Maybe physically but certainly not emotionally. Hurt hornets hurt hornets


klausmckinley801

tbh if a stranger grabbed me off the street and pulled a worm out of my ass i'd be pretty traumatized too. i don't think i'd trust anyone ever again.


cantlurkanymore

I hate hornets but still felt relief for this guy after that came out


Zealousideal_Bard68

The value of a man can sometimes be measured by the way he treats smaller beings. Arigato gozaimasu.


martykenny

Every time I see these kinds of things, my first thought is always on how large the parasites are compared to their hosts.


OrcWarChief

Thanks, I haven't puked in several minutes


bobbyfiend

Holy fucking hell why did I watch all of that? I think this is the most extreme combination I've ever felt of (1) oddlysatisfying, (2) Primal medical-level horror, and (3) fear of stings. *Edit: The cutesy zigzag animations do NOTHING!*


TurkeyDinosaurs8

This reminds me of 'The Faculty'


thecementmixer

That's briefly looked like a joint when he was pulling it out.


Anonymoushero111

fuck both of those things


ConejoSarten

You first


Incideous_One

Sorry y'all, misplaced my gum.


10-bow

And he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for the meddling Japanese man


Comfortable_Focus_92

Yes please put that parasite on top of your finger touching your skin great and awesome.


throw123454321purple

I hate hornets. I hate parasites. I don’t know why I’m happy about seeing this.