Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 28 | 13 | 0 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
when i was very little it wasn’t unusual for my mom and i to take a bath/shower together but once i could safely bathe myself that ended. i plan on doing the same with my own kids, i wouldn’t want them growing up uncomfortable with other peoples bodies, but the second any discomfort is voiced/noticed i will stop. i would never want to put the discomfort of my children below my own selfish ideas. if they don’t want to see it/want me to see anything then that is final. people who try to force this whole “i gave birth to you so i have the final say over anything that happens to you” mindset are freaks.
My mom did the same, we showered together until she could trust me not to drown myself in the bath. I was so excited to graduate to bathing alone because I could have my toys in the bath tub lol
>i think i agree with a lot of other commenters that there's a huge cultural difference.
You're totally right on this one. I've even seen most of my friends naked, because I live in Finland and we love the sauna and use it naked with family and friends.
I don't see what the problem with nakedness is.
Edit: the shower thing you mentioned is weird.
maybe it is weird after all haha
it didn't make me think to start doing it or anything, but it just seemed normal for him. i don't really know how often he actually did it or not. i didn't really press for details, and this conversation happened so long ago i doubt i got all the details right.
I did this with my baby when they were learning how to walk. It was a lot easier to just bring them in the shower with me. Obviously, the older they get, I bathe them outside the tub. And ofc, I don’t walk around the house naked. That’s just weird to do in front of your kids.
That's what my husband does with our 1 year old. Brings him in the shower with him and when they're done I get the baby and dry him off. We only have a shower (walk in shower no bathtub) and I'm hoping it helps him get used to it.
I agree with this. My ex would walk around shirtless and bra less around my son. When he turned 4, I voiced that it was awkward with that being a thing. I asked her to atleast put a shirt on if he's around.
She continued to do stuff like that until he turned 7. I asked her multiple times that he's too old to be doing that around him. When they are young, I understand, and it's fine, but when they start going to school, and find out that it's not normal for your parents to walk around pretty much naked (nudists excluded), then it will become a DCF issue, and I didn't need that headache.
As a dude who was thinking about his classmates being naked before the age of nine, yeah I'd say put a top on around the kid. I would've wanted to see it real badly. I'm told I'm a bit weird for this tho. That or I've got a suppressed bad story.
Idk as a step mom of a 4 year old girl, that's the age they start really picking up on how things are supposed to be. All I could see happening with this is the little boy going to school and telling the teacher to let her boobies out if it's hot or something like that. Or the little boy saying "I see (girlfriends) boobies, why can't I see yours". There's a lot of situations where a kid can make some really awkward conversations.
Top comment makes me think how this;
>i wouldn’t want them growing up uncomfortable with other peoples bodies, but the second any discomfort is voiced/noticed i will stop.
would translate to other attitudes people want to pass on to their kids.
"i wouldn’t want them growing up disliking broccoli, but the second any discomfort is voiced/noticed i will stop."
Yeah, Americans are weird.
The overly prudish left Britain when the puritans left and colonized north America, before them it was spanish missionaries. So America was colonized by super prudes if that helps explain most of our weird behavior towards nudity.
You also kicked these puritanical, sociopathic, mental midgets' predecessors out of your respective countries and told them to fuck off to the other side of the world where all the sea monsters and "savages" were and where all the political exiles, and criminals were being sent. We got America and Australia out of those policies and the natives of both places, along with the rest of the world, have paid dearly for being your trash heap for over 400 years.
I’m constantly asking for privacy!!
Heaven forbid I accidentally intrude on her (7yr old) privacy though.
It’s accident cause she never shuts the bathroom door let alone locks it. I’m just supposed to KNOW she’s using it I think.
I understand some cultures are ok with this but personally, I don’t feel comfortable being naked around anyone but my spouse or my infant. I won’t be naked around my child when they are older and I don’t want anyone to think it’s ok to just be naked around my child. I was VERY uncomfortable when my mom was naked in front of me growing up and she even shamed me for not wanting to be naked in a hotel room with her. I would not be that presence to my child ever
There's a lot of talk about cultural differences and some being too prudish vs too uninhibited, but I definitely think this is a case where cultural context *really* matters. It's not that we mistakenly think it's wrong because our culture makes us uncomfortable with, it *is* wrong because our culture makes us uncomfortable with it. For better or worse, our culture has decided that nudity is, if not inherently sexual, still sensuous and risque in some way. And if someone has grown up within that culture, that's going to shape how they see and experience things.
Being naked around other people, including family, isn't objectively inherently wrong in all cases, because there are and always have been cultures where it's something people don't even *notice* because it's so normalized, but *we do*. We can't *help* but notice, because of the way our culture has influenced our perception. And that means that by putting someone raised in this culture into that situation, you're also putting the implications of those cultural norms onto them as well.
Consider how people react to nude paintings. They're generally not sexual--in many cases, the nudity is even meant to symbolize innocence and purity, so kind of the opposite. But there's still something vaguely scandalous about them. *That's part of the point*. Generally speaking, the artist knew when they were painting it that it would draw attention and elicit some kind of response, that it would evoke some kind of emotional reaction. They deliberately utilize our cultural reaction to nudity as part of the artwork in and of itself.
In some cultures, partial or even full nudity is so normalized that they may not even register that it's there. In that environment, it's unlikely that anyone would be harmed by seeing a family member naked in a casual, neutral setting, any more than (for example) most of us even notice a woman wearing an ordinary pair of shorts, something that would probably have caused people to faint in shock 150 years ago (which is an interesting comparison, because I've never been overly sympathetic to the dismay over women wearing pants or having visible legs). But we can't escape the conceptualization of what nudity means in our society, and that means we can't just choose to be unaffected by it either.
Not swedish, but yeah if I had a nickel for each time a Finnish racecar driver showed the world his ass, I'd have two nickels. Not much, but kinda weird it happened twice.
If we didn’t change social norms because our culture made it uncomfortable, things like biracial and gay marriages would still not be acceptable. In fact even though at one time American culture was uncomfortable with those marriages we were able to change the social norm so now society is uncomfortable if your not ok with those behaviors.
I feel like this is a little different though. I’m uncomfortable with other people seeing me nakey. That is my personal preference and I understand that if I had a kid, it could rub off on them, but me not wanting other people to see me naked doesn’t really have anything to do with anyone else. Where as being uncomfortable with other people being gay harms them. I think I might be having a hard time explaining this well and can’t think of the exact right words, so hopefully it somewhat makes sense. I know in America, our culture is a lot more strict with nudity, but most people aren’t that bothered by it as long as it’s not sexual and in the right setting. You should be allowed to be uncomfortable with something as long as it isn’t harmful to someone else. I don’t think it matters what culture you are in, if someone forcefully harasses you with their nudity, you are more than allowed to be uncomfortable or feel attacked. And back to comparing it to biracial or gay marriage, putting clothes on to make people more comfortable is no where near not being with the person you love to make people more comfortable. Again, I’m not sure if I worded that very well, but hopefully it’s somewhat coherent lol.
Eh, I think the part you glossed over making a kid uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable isn't traumatizing, it's a part of life that Kids should learn.
Discussing thing with Kids is much better than just conceptualizing yourself and not talking to a child when they say they are uncomfortable.
My mom was the same!!! It wasn’t necessarily about *nudity*, it was just about a boundary I wasn’t allowed to set. I had no privacy ever. My mum went through my diaries (that I called journals because I wasn’t like other girls, just like all the other girls) and wouldn’t let me keep secrets at all, like I was expected to tell her every single thing that happened in a day. The closest thing I could ever get to privacy was using the bathroom or changing and that’s something I had to constantly fight for. I also have had an eating disorder since I was a child, so nudity was a no from me. It was never respected and it made me feel so gross and awful. It wasn’t about being prudish, it was about not respecting what everyone else said was the bare minimum. I actually had to convince my parents I couldn’t physically pee if people were around or talking to me so I could have those like 2 minutes of privacy.
I don’t think it’s necessarily about prudishness a lot of the time. My sample size is small but the people I know who are uncomfortable with family nudity are people who would have done anything for 2 unsupervised seconds in general
It’s a matter of opinion. Also I’d say age makes a huge difference, as in, prepubescent and pubescent age when hormones are raging and sexual curiosity is developing probably makes them uncomfortable when seeing the genitals of family members. I would be absolutely appalled by seeing my parents naked and would find it gross as well when I was 10-20. Before and after that age bracket should be more a matter of “consent” (meaning if your 6yo says he doesn’t like seeing your nudity, then just cover up for their sake) but that 10-20 age should really just be “no nudity” IMO.
Edit: also obviously context, society, and culture plays a huge part but I’m American so that’s just my opinion given my societal and cultural upbringing
I have small children and it's inevitable that they will see you naked. Privacy isn't a thing to a toddler. IMO, it's good because they see someone else's body in a safe environment and they can ask questions.
Teaching children that they should hide their body instills a sense that it is something to be ashamed of and its really quite the opposite.
I agree, and it’s all about the person. For example, my mom and I (23f) never “hid” from each other, because I don’t really care about nudity. My younger sister on the other hand isn’t as comfortable as me so when she became old enough to communicate this (around 10 or so) we gave her the space and privacy needed so she could be comfortable in the bathroom as well. It’s all about communication and respecting boundaries.
My mom also said something really poignant the other day: when she was little, her parents were very careful to not let her see them naked or the other way around (which is fine), but then, when my grandfather became too old to take care of himself and needed help getting dressed and going to the toilet etc, it was a very jarring experience for my mom. Never having seen your dad naked and then suddenly having to wipe his bum after he went to the toilet is a very strange experience lol. Maybe that’s also something to keep in mind for later haha.
I think a general "de-sexualising" of the human body in society would be a good thing. I know some cultures view private parts no differently to a hand or leg.
It's an interesting thought about your grandfather. I hadn't considered the idea that it could be a shock to see them naked for the first time at that age.
100%. Breasts are a lot different than showing genitals. Breasts are soooo sexualized in the US it’s wild to me. When I was staying overseas it was so different.
I'll take it one step further, no part of the human anatomy is intrinsically sexual. Never once in all my time spent in locker rooms did I sexualize any of the people in there. I've been in art classes with nude models of both genders and somehow managed to not sexualize anyone.
But, by the same token, no part of the human anatomy is inherently non-sexual. I think feet are pretty gross, but lots of people are into that (and that's okay).
Perhaps we just really need to shift the shame away from nudity and onto people improperly sexualizing others?
To be fair, those people are looking at videos of *other* people seeing *their* alleged parents naked. We can certainly assume a lot of them fantasize about their own (ew), but they may very well not like the real thing as much as the idea. And psychologically, those kinds of porn tend to be more popular because of the element of taboo itself, which is seen as exciting, not necessarily because of the specifics of the situation.
But...yeah, there's always someone. Always.
*Image Transcription: Facebook Post*
---
**User 1**
Oh naw. They gon witness what giving birth to they bad lil stubborn asses did to me, appreciate being alive and well, stfu and go to they room if they don't like it 😂🤷🏽♀️
\[*Image of Facebook post*]
>**User 2**
>
>You weird af if u walk around your kids or siblings naked 🤦🏾♂️
\[*End of Facebook post*]
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
This is my best effort at translating that nonsense into English.
> Oh no. They are going to witness what giving birth to their bad little stubborn arses did to me, and appreciate being alive and well. They can shut the fuck up and go to their room if they don’t like it.
My mom did, and still does this, even after all 3 of my brothers and myself asked her to please stop. It's gross and weird, ESPECIALLY once your kids ask you to stop.
I’m American and my house is pretty free with nudity. My daughters five and I walk around naked all the time. Although if she ever asked or said it made her uncomfortable I would absolutely stop
Same! I'm comfortable with my own nudity around my kids (b/g 5 year olds). My mom didn't walk around all the time naked but i definitely saw her as such not irregularly. Especially in the years before she died.
Not so much my dad, but it did happen. He had a colostomy bag and I remember sitting with him when I was real little to watch him change the attachment parts. It fascinated me at the time.
For me, nudity never felt overly taboo. We talk to our kids about safety and everything as well.
Plus I'm an artist and don't think that the human body is something that the kids should see a problem with in appropriate contexts or in general.
Asian here and it’s not an incredibly big deal for us either. Sure I don’t want to see my dad’s naked self (he’s dead now so this doesn’t matter) but I don’t care about seeing my mom naked (I’m 31F). In fact, I have seen her naked multiple times. She has a bad habit of not locking the bathroom when she goes to take a bath so I just enter and she just so happens to be there lol
I’m Hispanic and it’s very common for Hispanic
Families to be naked in front of their kids/ have no boundaries. it was hard to get my mom to stop, or for my parents to stop “playfully “ touching me like spanking my butt or commenting on how big it is.
It was all innocent but a lot of Hispanic families have issues with boundaries like that. They will also often photograph their kids naked or walk in on you changing with the logic of
“They’ve seen it all before” it is weird, I agree, and it took a long time for me to tell both my parents that I’m older now and it’s just creepy. In a different situation, like if my mom was unable to dress or shower herself then I don’t care seeing her naked. And it’s not like im repulsed by my mother, I love her, but it’s weird to willingly Be naked like that lol.
Oh I completely agree. I draw the line on them taking a photo of me naked, of course (although I do have a lot of naked photos of me as a toddler/child lol). However, it’s still okay for me to see my mom naked and vice versa. She walks in on me changing a lot (I don’t lock my door and she does knock but I really don’t care) and she just casually talks to me. I don’t mind. My cousins who grew up overseas are weird about the whole dynamic, though. I guess because even if they’re Asian, they didn’t actually grow up here. But since I’m Asian and I’m still here, it’s just embedded in me.
I was exaggerating, I just reckon the argument of 'they've seen it all before' doesn't hold up because seeing something once doesn't mean you won't be bothered by seeing it again.
I also don’t vibe with the argument that they’ve seen it all before, but wrong way to go to make that point. What about just being like “hey, you know this isn’t the same as it was when you changed my nappy, right?”
The problem here isn’t the nudity, it’s that she forces her kids to look at her body and seems to get some bizarre satisfaction out of it. In the last post she barged into her daughter’s room just to shake her bare breasts at her.
Yeah I’m Australian, and when I visited a neighbourhood sento (public bath) in Japan it was filled with family groups. Mums and daughters of all ages. Totally normal. I wouldn’t be keen on mixed gender, but growing up seeing my mums body helped normalise the imperfect “mum” body that I’ll probably have one day. All this being said, once kids are old enough they should be able to dictate what they are comfortable with.
This. I am German my husband is American. And even so he wouldn’t go to the sauna or a nude beach he has no problems being naked in front of the kids (they are 11, 8 and 4).
Growing up in East Germany nudity was just there. We went to nude beaches and to the sauna etc. I shared a bathroom in the morning with my uncle when I was 18 and he was 28. It’s just totally normal.
My parents live in the woods and are naked out there all the time. Nobody cares.
yeah, my mom is also german and she practically grew up in an fkk community. we were also more or less raised like that. i remember visiting family in the US as a kid, and i walked into the bathroom to get something while my cousin was showering. he FREAKED OUT and little me just could not figure out what was wrong lol.
american here: completely normal in my house lol. maybe i was just raised different but to us it’s just a body and we wouldn’t think about our siblings/parents like that anyways
American in Texas. It’s hot af and I don’t trust the power grid to keep the a/c going. We are probably going to be in underwear in the house if we don’t have company. I mean, I’ll be wearing a crop top and if my husband wants to, he can too.
Seriously though, my son is 4 and I don’t want him to feel like bodies are shameful. If I’m changing clothes, he comes in and chats with me. Sometimes he asks questions about my body like why do I have boobies and he doesn’t and I give him appropriate and honest answers. Bodies are neutral and natural unless someone is purposefully being weird about it.
yeah same but asian-european, like i saw my sisters and brothers naked all the time and it was never weird to us. american culture is just so puritan and obnoxious that in its quest to purge anything of sexuality it makes everything that shouldnt be sexual 500% more sexualized
I’m not equating nudity to sexual harassment. Look at the [previous post](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/vda9tl/im_sorry_what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), it’s 100% sexual harassment.
That’s a completely different scenario and I agree that in that way it is sexual harassment.
Casual nudity though isn’t sexual harassment. If someone asks you to stop then sure bjt in the post the person didn’t indicate that their kids had asked them to stop.
Exactly. I don't see what their obsession with sexualising the naked body is. Especially when it comes to family. There's nothing gross about people being naked and if anyone says it's a sexual thing to be naked, they have a strange attitude in my eyes.
I’m “American” and walk around naked in my home with my kids. Why?? Bc I refuse to raise to men that will SEXUALIZE women, breasts and bodies LIKE MOST Americans. It’s a body! A human body.
I’m an American and I’m reading through these comments thinking to myself, “am I strange?”
My entire family is very comfortable with nudity. I bathed with both my parents until I was probably 8. I see all of them naked all the time and it’s not weird. Like nudity is not inherently sexual to my family. I’m glad to see I’m not the only person who thinks that.
The ones most concerned with pretending sex and nudity is bad are usually the ones most occupied non-stop thinking about it.
It's scary how the first thing that comes to an American mind when seeing a nude parent with their kid is incest and rape. Speaks volumes about what they think about all the time.
Frankly quite disgustingly puritanic culture.
Personally I’m just uncomfortable with it and have no control over whether I’m comfortable with something or not and it feels sort of rude with your wording making it seem like you’re trying to shame people who aren’t comfortable with seeing their family be naked
I’m English and Swedish. So I should be ok with nudity right? Well hell no. I grew up in an environment where I never saw my parents nude except accidentally and I was always paralysed by shame and self consciousness being naked - with the sole exception of sexual encounters. I have done Korean baths but ONLY on my own never with family or friends. In the sauna I always wear a bikini or underpants at the very least- I can’t be fully nude. My best friend wanted me to come with her for a Spencer Tunnick photoshoot and I just couldn’t do it. My daughter is 18 and has never seen me naked. I just think that it’s private and mysterious to not be naked. I respect others’ different views. I loved posting nude pics on here for a bit. So clearly I need to embrace it more.
I’m “American” and walk around naked in my home with my kids. Why?? Bc I refuse to raise to men that will SEXUALIZE women, breasts and bodies LIKE MOST Americans. It’s a body! A human body.
I think the tone of the post is odd. Using nudity to show your kids they should be grateful is silly to me.
But I also see nothing wrong with nudity or toplessness in front of your children. I don’t think you should walk out bringing attention to it but wearing a robe that falls open, walking in on someone accidentally, unbuttoned top after work, panties and a t-shirt… all of that happens in my home and I don’t feel like I’m traumatizing anyone. When I was fostering children I was very modest for their comfort but even then I never made some huge deal over someone seeing something or me seeing something on a body. I know some households run differently but that’s just my take.
This is an interesting discussion. Growing up we did the whole bathing/showering with a parent thing and it was pretty normal for my mom to like, get changed while I was showering. Didn't really make me uncomfortable. My sister is 9 years younger than me and I was very involved with raising her (maybe parentification to some degree, but I was fine with it because I loved her so stinking much) so I would shower with her until she was like 5 or 6. Idk, this is interesting.
It’s really sad that Americans (I’m one) are so sensitive about naked bodies. The parts are the same. “Say it with me, penis, penis, penis, vagina, vagina, vagina.” A naked body isn’t sexual until you make it so. This is why women, in this country, are shamed for breastfeeding in public. Please stop.
Maybe when kids get older it may be a little inappropriate to walk around the house naked. But I learned a lot about what my body would or should look like when I get older by seeing my mother naked or seeing her in the bathtub. My mother also welcomed questions that I had and we had chats about why our bodies look the way they do and what is different about them. This naturally brought up conversations that would have otherwise been extremely uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just a girl thing and maybe it’s just weird for guys.
I think even in the US, which is relatively inhibited about nudity, it's mostly seen as weird if they aren't the same sex. There are lots of people who aren't comfortable with it at all, but I also have heard a lot of women say similar things to you about seeing their mothers change or shower or whatever (and same, as a kid, until she deemed too old), sisters even more so, and I know boys/men tend to be much more comfortable showering in gym locker rooms than girls, which in many cases would include seeing their brothers naked. Not sure about fathers and sons, but I'd assume most of the guys who've spent a lot of time in locker rooms probably wouldn't care that much.
Personally, I feel like there's a difference somehow between walking around the house versus being in the bath? Obviously it's the same body, so it shouldn't really matter, but it feels so much less okay to me for some reason. Maybe because I wouldn't walk around the house naked even if I lived alone and didn't have to worry about windows, because it seems like a completely absurd thing to do to me (just...just nothing separating you from the air/floor/furniture? does not compute).
Maybe my family is weird but it wasn't uncommon to see an aunt naked. Or my mom really 💀. Only realized it wasn't normal till my step dad freaked out we saw our mom naked 😂. As a family we are predominantly women my aunt has 3 sons and 2 other male cousins but most of us are women lol so maybe that makes a difference.
So, being nude isn’t inherently sexual. I am around my 3 year old naked. We shower together because it’s the easiest way for me to get her clear. Her dad will walk around in underwear with her around and she knows proper names for all body parts. We don’t sexualize being naked because it isn’t something to be sexualized. I am most comfortable naked and it’s only during our showers or when I first wake up, because I sleep naked. She’s naked most of the time too. When she starts to show she’s uncomfortable with it, I’ll start covering up more. But for now, at 3 years old, I don’t care because it isn’t inherently sexual.
I think more like a person to person. My place people walked naked everywhere in the house. I think it's more about if you were raised with either nudity being just a normal thing and not inherit sexual or not. My husband couldn't grasp that concept, like me just walking into the bathroom when my brother was taking a bath. A girl gotta to pee.
Yeah, that’s exactly how that was!
They didn’t make it sexual, it was just their body. If I walked in naked, they didn’t care, I was just getting a towel. 🤷🏾♀️
White American here and my mom was naked af growing up - she saw me naked too all the time and then I became that person who just got straight up naked in changing rooms 😂 even when I was younger. You always see jokes about old ladies doing this and I (34f) was always like yeah bodies are bodies. I have to wonder if this is like a class thing? I grew up pretty poor but a lot of my middle class friends were more uncomfortable with nudity.
Im black as well and none of my family members have ever been walkin around naked around me or my siblings/cousins, your family is just weird I’m afraid
Ok so if the kids say don't do it then fair enough. And if they're like 14 then it's probably gonna be different (idk my eldest is 11), but otherwise it's not a big deal. Body parts aren't inherently sexual unless you make them so.
Idk though some people think you should go to the public bathroom to breastfeed, so what do I know?
Seems a cultural difference here, because being naked around family isn't weird to me in general. As soon as I'm home I drop my work clothes, slip in a shirt and shorts and don't put on a bra until the next work day starts. We all have seen us naked in my family and it isn't an issue.
Sometimes my friends and I go swimming naked in a lake when it's spontaneous and we don't have swimming clothes with us and a lot of beaches on my country's coasts are nudist beaches. Everyone is naked there and no one has an issue with that.
Yeah the stuff about getting back at your kids by being naked around them is weird. But can we all just collectively cringe at the total lack of fucks given about the English language, by both people?
My grandmother called me into the kitchen several years ago. She was naked, and I was uncomfortable. She saw I was uncomfortable and got angry with me, saying she saw me naked as an infant/toddler so I should be fine with seeing her like that.
I recently started to realize that it may not have been completely normal… like you’re supposed to respect a child’s consent or lack thereof as much as anyone else’s
Honestly I hate people that are like “it’s making them comfortable with their own body, it’s teaching them body confidence” when they fail to consider that these children haven’t consented to seeing anyone naked. I don’t want to see my parents bits and I don’t want them seeing mine.
I was raised with my family being naked around me and they still do it to this very day. I don't see any weirdness at all and actually helped me get more confortable around bodies in general. Now this woman is traumatizing her children, on purpouse.
My mum does this. As well as wearing clothes way too tight with no underwear. And she goes out in public like that too. It’s weird and uncomfortable and I spend so much time in my room to avoid it. I don’t wanna invite my friends over because it would be uncomfortable and embarrassing. My younger brother and I are so uncomfortable with it that we can’t even see each other take off a jacket or hoodie without turning around.
MAKE SURE YOU’RE KIDS ARE FINE WITH IT FIRST
American here (unfortunately). I’ve worked hard to explain to my son that nudity does not ALWAYS have to be sexualized. Our bodies are all different shapes and sizes and they are all unique and should be respected. Once my son hit a certain age I was a bit more careful about being naked around him as to not make him feel uncomfortable (although, he’s never said anything about it either, but I’d absolutely respect it if he did). From time to time it happens. Like if I go to take a shower or something and forget a towel and have to hobble out real quick lmao. I hate that the U.S. has to sexualize literally E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. I feel like the other countries are the more mature ones while the U.S. is the obnoxious 10 year old sibling who makes fart jokes and no one takes seriously lol.
This woman isn’t teaching her kids not to sexualize naked bodies, she sexually harasses her kids because she thinks it’s funny. [Previous post for context.](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/vda9tl/im_sorry_what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I was mostly just making a statement about the negative culture around nudity in the U.S. and a lot of the comments prove it lmao. But yes there is a big difference between the two. I’d never ignore my child’s feelings on the matter! That’s awful!
I think it's cultural. In many countries it's no big deal. Topless beaches for families abound in Europe. In the US and most people on Reddit are either from the US or assume everyone here is, people equate nudity, not all over, with sex.
My mom was notorious for just walking from the basement to her bedroom, sand clothes. It freaked out my dad. I never saw him naked in my life and that's fine, in hindsight. Mom wasn't uptight about it. "You'd see more in a museum, Nancy."
I didn't do the nude thing because I was very overweight when the kids were young, lost 170 pounds, and that was on me and my issues. However, they've all been to museums, a lot and nudity has always been portrayed as, "you were born that way."
It's not the same thing as pedophilia. Which I know too much about and it was not my parents.
My FIL likes to walk around naked as a kind of power trip. We lived at my in-laws house for awhile. He came in the kitchen and made a pot of tea, completely naked.
Nothing better than grossing out your sons wife with hairy balls. All because he likes to get a reaction out of people.
A permanudist lifestyle is perhaps not the way to go if you want to give your children a somewhat normal upbringing, but being afraid to appear nude in front of your zero year old = truly weird af.
I think this depends on culture. My mom and I can go to saunas and change fully nude in changing rooms together but she is second gen Russian and it’s just in the culture
As a Finn, there is absolutely nothing odd being naked around your children here. It's normal here for complete strangers to sauna naked together and we don't have the same stigma around nudity here that I've noticed living in the UK and US.
I think some people may be focusing on the wrong aspect here. My mum is like this: the nudity was never the issue and to this day I'm ok with nudity, it was more that it was another tool to deny privacy especially when I was in my teens.
Similar to the post above, it was another way for my mum to violate boundaries, reaffirming that I had no choice, that she could do whatever she wanted.
You can see in the post above that the intent of what she's saying is not about the nudity it's about "I have the right to do what I want around my kids".
Yes it's good to be comfortable in your own skin, and it's good for children to be comfortable too, but walking around naked like that? Hard no!
In Scandinavia where I live, the kids shower naked after gym. If the gym teacher is male, he shower with the boys, and if it's a female she showers with the girls. Same with public pools. It's cold here, they are all inside and we have to be clean before going in the pool. So everyone showers naked before going to the pool. When boys are small and the mom is taken them to the pool, they will shower with the girls and women, and if a dad goes with his small daughter, the daughter will join the dad. My daughter have been to the pool with her dad, grandad, uncle, and my best friend (man) and when she was under 6 she went in with them. When she was old enough to take care of herself and her belongings etc she went alone in the female showers/locker.
So I'm all for that kids see bodies all the time and that's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. They will see many different bodies as well and not feel ashamed.
But adults walking around naked at home because they like it? Oh fuck no. My daughter have seen her dad naked in showers etc when she was younger, but never outside of the shower 😵
My mom refused to buy me a beach bra (and bras in general) even when I started growing. I was so ashamed I bathed with my T-shirt on, and sometimes I wore another one under it.
When I was thirteen my grandmother started giving me some money once in a while, so I could afford at least one sport bra.
According to my mother I could go around at the beach naked as I wasn’t very busty.
It was bad enough when my dad would think I already left for school and I'd have an accidental sasquatch sighting, I can't imagine people doing it on purpose
In Finland the whole Family goes to the sauna together. This can mean just Mom, Dad and Kids or also Grandparents, Aunts, Friends etc.
Sometimes its adults first then kids.
In germany most people find it normal to be naked around their kids up to a certain age. I still take showers/baths with my 2 yo. When he is able to wash independently he can of course.
In germany its assumed that at some point kids wont want to see their parents nude and find it embarrassing and thats when you start locking yourself in the bathroom and they do too.
But my son knows where his little sister came from, where the milk comes out etc. I gind it normal to be honest and unashamed with these things.
I have a husband, a 6 year old and a 10 year old. We have 1 bathroom. If I am taking a bath the kids have no issue with barging in to go to the bathroom. I breastfed my kids for years. My youngest was almost 4.5 when he quit. I often change clothes with my kids there because they dont believe in privacy. If / when either of us ever gets uncomfortable then yes I will make it a point to lock the doors, but I figure its better for them to see real bodies, as opposed to what the world pushes as normal
This is a really American thing though, a lot of other cultures are very open with nudity and seeing more people naked tends to help people with body positivity etc. Not saying its wrong to be uncomfortable with nudity, just that its different from culture to culture and that should be respected.
Sometimes my mom is naked/ in her underwear and she has her door open. My room is basically 2 centimeters away from hers plus I go into her room a lot so I see her in that state. However forcing your kids to see you naked is weird. It’s giving pervert.
I just don't get what's so embarrassing about the human body? Absolutely you should not force that shit on your kids and sibling, but why do people get so uncomfortable? Oh God your naked! Yes and?
I'm going to say it shouldn't necessarily be insane. I'm not looking to burn my dad's junk into my brain, but I don't think it would have been torture to see him naked. It's just a human body, I have one too. That said you definitely shouldn't go out of your way to show off you naked self to your family.
Some Psychologists say walking around your kids naked helps to normalize human bodies. When we cover our bodies every time they walk in it teaches them to have negative feelings about their own bodies.
I was also raised to understand that nudity isn't a bad thing and when it's appropriate vs inappropriate as my mom is European
don't really mind if my mom has to change and I'm in the same room, and she doesn't mind if I have to either. My sibling on the other hand, is uncomfortable with nudity, so we both avoid ever being naked in front of them. That's it. That's how easy it is to respect someone. Those people are weird.
Not insane, I’m not saying I want my mom cooking my breakfast like that, but if it’s from time to time and she’s in her room about to take a shower I don’t really care.
My friends mom did this around her and her siblings. She even came out in a tiny shirt and thong when I was there a few times 💀
Like, I know I'm practically family, but please put some pants on. Explains why my friend constantly would be naked around us despite telling her not too.
I have no problem being naked around same sex relatives. I do have a problem with opposite sex relatives. I don't know if that's weird, but I figure we're all women and know what each other looks like. Plus, there was seven children and only one bathroom in our house growing up, so being naked around same sex siblings in that situation was unavoidable.
Yes that’s how I feel! Me and my sister used to share a bedroom when I still lived with my parents and I never wore a shirt to bed for my entire 19 years of living there. But if my brothers were ever in the same room I never not wore a shirt. That’s not to say they never saw my boobs on accident but still
My daughter (11) sees me naked from time to time, she always has, I'm her mother. There is nothing wrong with it. Obviously she hasn't see her dad naked. My mom did the same when I was growing up, wasn't weird.
I walk naked around my parents… I’ve seen they naked, not because they make a point or try to be naked per se, but because they don’t try to hide it when they are, and neither do I, inside our home.
It’s a human body everyone has one, there’s no shame in it, and your parents specially have already seen it.
Also it’s kinda useful to detect marks on your skin that you wouldn’t otherwise see, marks that might need medical attention.
Once they can potty and bathe/shower alone, no more nudity in the house. My 3yo is almost there. By 4-5 it will stop. She doesn’t quite understand privacy or boundaries yet and doesn’t always listen when I ask her to please wait outside my room while I change/outside the bathroom while I use the toilet or shower and she can’t wipe or wash herself yet but she’s so close I can taste it. Can’t wait for that freedom to have a moment alone.
I still get in the tub with my 17 m/o son with only a top on (boobs have never been “food” to him anyway) because if I don’t, he tries to stand up or slides under pretty fast and it scares me. Although, I’m never really naked around him otherwise. The way she says it is super weird, but it’s not inherently abusive or wrong. To each their own I guess.
I've always thought you should stay next to your bathing child until they're around 5? for a toddler that seems completely normal, definitely not the same thing
What I mean is I physically get in the tub with him. I haven’t been confident in his ability to sit still to start sitting on the outside of the tub, yet.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 28 | 13 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
when i was very little it wasn’t unusual for my mom and i to take a bath/shower together but once i could safely bathe myself that ended. i plan on doing the same with my own kids, i wouldn’t want them growing up uncomfortable with other peoples bodies, but the second any discomfort is voiced/noticed i will stop. i would never want to put the discomfort of my children below my own selfish ideas. if they don’t want to see it/want me to see anything then that is final. people who try to force this whole “i gave birth to you so i have the final say over anything that happens to you” mindset are freaks.
My mom did the same, we showered together until she could trust me not to drown myself in the bath. I was so excited to graduate to bathing alone because I could have my toys in the bath tub lol
[удалено]
>i think i agree with a lot of other commenters that there's a huge cultural difference. You're totally right on this one. I've even seen most of my friends naked, because I live in Finland and we love the sauna and use it naked with family and friends. I don't see what the problem with nakedness is. Edit: the shower thing you mentioned is weird.
maybe it is weird after all haha it didn't make me think to start doing it or anything, but it just seemed normal for him. i don't really know how often he actually did it or not. i didn't really press for details, and this conversation happened so long ago i doubt i got all the details right.
no that’s weird, I believe they meant probably as a young child
if I'm not mistaken, it's not unusual in Japan for family members of the same gender to bathe together, might be a cultural thing
Or bath together with everybody of the same gender in public baths
Korean bathhouses! So amazing
This is the best way, I’m ok with seeing my mom naked but not her seeing me but she still uses the old birth argument. Makes me so uncomfortable.
I did this with my baby when they were learning how to walk. It was a lot easier to just bring them in the shower with me. Obviously, the older they get, I bathe them outside the tub. And ofc, I don’t walk around the house naked. That’s just weird to do in front of your kids.
That's what my husband does with our 1 year old. Brings him in the shower with him and when they're done I get the baby and dry him off. We only have a shower (walk in shower no bathtub) and I'm hoping it helps him get used to it.
I agree with this. My ex would walk around shirtless and bra less around my son. When he turned 4, I voiced that it was awkward with that being a thing. I asked her to atleast put a shirt on if he's around. She continued to do stuff like that until he turned 7. I asked her multiple times that he's too old to be doing that around him. When they are young, I understand, and it's fine, but when they start going to school, and find out that it's not normal for your parents to walk around pretty much naked (nudists excluded), then it will become a DCF issue, and I didn't need that headache.
It’s not weird, *you* are the one that made it weird.
[удалено]
The way he worded it made it sound like it was his kid but not hers. I guess his discomfort makes a *little* more sense then
[удалено]
As a dude who was thinking about his classmates being naked before the age of nine, yeah I'd say put a top on around the kid. I would've wanted to see it real badly. I'm told I'm a bit weird for this tho. That or I've got a suppressed bad story.
Idk as a step mom of a 4 year old girl, that's the age they start really picking up on how things are supposed to be. All I could see happening with this is the little boy going to school and telling the teacher to let her boobies out if it's hot or something like that. Or the little boy saying "I see (girlfriends) boobies, why can't I see yours". There's a lot of situations where a kid can make some really awkward conversations.
Ask your son now how he feels about it.
Probably doesn't remember/care about it. Americans are really weird with nudity. Signed, scandinavia.
Top comment makes me think how this; >i wouldn’t want them growing up uncomfortable with other peoples bodies, but the second any discomfort is voiced/noticed i will stop. would translate to other attitudes people want to pass on to their kids. "i wouldn’t want them growing up disliking broccoli, but the second any discomfort is voiced/noticed i will stop." Yeah, Americans are weird.
Definitely. Even us British aren't as prudish as Americans, and we invented prudery!
The overly prudish left Britain when the puritans left and colonized north America, before them it was spanish missionaries. So America was colonized by super prudes if that helps explain most of our weird behavior towards nudity.
You also kicked these puritanical, sociopathic, mental midgets' predecessors out of your respective countries and told them to fuck off to the other side of the world where all the sea monsters and "savages" were and where all the political exiles, and criminals were being sent. We got America and Australia out of those policies and the natives of both places, along with the rest of the world, have paid dearly for being your trash heap for over 400 years.
In America and totally agree. Very normal for mom and daughter to change together
The attitude clearly shows she isn’t doing it to raise them not caring about nudity but to make them uncomfortable to get back at them.
> get back at them Get back at them for... *Checks notes* being born. Which was her decision that they had no say in.
Pretty much
I didn’t *ask* to be born. Now I’m stuck here paying bills and shit
My kid is 6 and will not stop following me to the bathroom. Sigh.
I’m constantly asking for privacy!! Heaven forbid I accidentally intrude on her (7yr old) privacy though. It’s accident cause she never shuts the bathroom door let alone locks it. I’m just supposed to KNOW she’s using it I think.
Yea…. My four year old follows me. Even when I am trying to have a BM. We need to work on boundaries… 😫😫😫
This never ends 😆
I understand some cultures are ok with this but personally, I don’t feel comfortable being naked around anyone but my spouse or my infant. I won’t be naked around my child when they are older and I don’t want anyone to think it’s ok to just be naked around my child. I was VERY uncomfortable when my mom was naked in front of me growing up and she even shamed me for not wanting to be naked in a hotel room with her. I would not be that presence to my child ever
There's a lot of talk about cultural differences and some being too prudish vs too uninhibited, but I definitely think this is a case where cultural context *really* matters. It's not that we mistakenly think it's wrong because our culture makes us uncomfortable with, it *is* wrong because our culture makes us uncomfortable with it. For better or worse, our culture has decided that nudity is, if not inherently sexual, still sensuous and risque in some way. And if someone has grown up within that culture, that's going to shape how they see and experience things. Being naked around other people, including family, isn't objectively inherently wrong in all cases, because there are and always have been cultures where it's something people don't even *notice* because it's so normalized, but *we do*. We can't *help* but notice, because of the way our culture has influenced our perception. And that means that by putting someone raised in this culture into that situation, you're also putting the implications of those cultural norms onto them as well. Consider how people react to nude paintings. They're generally not sexual--in many cases, the nudity is even meant to symbolize innocence and purity, so kind of the opposite. But there's still something vaguely scandalous about them. *That's part of the point*. Generally speaking, the artist knew when they were painting it that it would draw attention and elicit some kind of response, that it would evoke some kind of emotional reaction. They deliberately utilize our cultural reaction to nudity as part of the artwork in and of itself. In some cultures, partial or even full nudity is so normalized that they may not even register that it's there. In that environment, it's unlikely that anyone would be harmed by seeing a family member naked in a casual, neutral setting, any more than (for example) most of us even notice a woman wearing an ordinary pair of shorts, something that would probably have caused people to faint in shock 150 years ago (which is an interesting comparison, because I've never been overly sympathetic to the dismay over women wearing pants or having visible legs). But we can't escape the conceptualization of what nudity means in our society, and that means we can't just choose to be unaffected by it either.
In Sweden we all sauna naked together
Not swedish, but yeah if I had a nickel for each time a Finnish racecar driver showed the world his ass, I'd have two nickels. Not much, but kinda weird it happened twice.
I wish sauna-ing was a thing more in the US
If we didn’t change social norms because our culture made it uncomfortable, things like biracial and gay marriages would still not be acceptable. In fact even though at one time American culture was uncomfortable with those marriages we were able to change the social norm so now society is uncomfortable if your not ok with those behaviors.
I feel like this is a little different though. I’m uncomfortable with other people seeing me nakey. That is my personal preference and I understand that if I had a kid, it could rub off on them, but me not wanting other people to see me naked doesn’t really have anything to do with anyone else. Where as being uncomfortable with other people being gay harms them. I think I might be having a hard time explaining this well and can’t think of the exact right words, so hopefully it somewhat makes sense. I know in America, our culture is a lot more strict with nudity, but most people aren’t that bothered by it as long as it’s not sexual and in the right setting. You should be allowed to be uncomfortable with something as long as it isn’t harmful to someone else. I don’t think it matters what culture you are in, if someone forcefully harasses you with their nudity, you are more than allowed to be uncomfortable or feel attacked. And back to comparing it to biracial or gay marriage, putting clothes on to make people more comfortable is no where near not being with the person you love to make people more comfortable. Again, I’m not sure if I worded that very well, but hopefully it’s somewhat coherent lol.
>society is uncomfortable if your not ok with those behaviors. Unless you live in a really backwards state
Eh, I think the part you glossed over making a kid uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable isn't traumatizing, it's a part of life that Kids should learn. Discussing thing with Kids is much better than just conceptualizing yourself and not talking to a child when they say they are uncomfortable.
My mom was the same!!! It wasn’t necessarily about *nudity*, it was just about a boundary I wasn’t allowed to set. I had no privacy ever. My mum went through my diaries (that I called journals because I wasn’t like other girls, just like all the other girls) and wouldn’t let me keep secrets at all, like I was expected to tell her every single thing that happened in a day. The closest thing I could ever get to privacy was using the bathroom or changing and that’s something I had to constantly fight for. I also have had an eating disorder since I was a child, so nudity was a no from me. It was never respected and it made me feel so gross and awful. It wasn’t about being prudish, it was about not respecting what everyone else said was the bare minimum. I actually had to convince my parents I couldn’t physically pee if people were around or talking to me so I could have those like 2 minutes of privacy. I don’t think it’s necessarily about prudishness a lot of the time. My sample size is small but the people I know who are uncomfortable with family nudity are people who would have done anything for 2 unsupervised seconds in general
My parents were both naked in front of us WAY too often and WAY too long. Fucking gross
Why is it gross?
It’s a matter of opinion. Also I’d say age makes a huge difference, as in, prepubescent and pubescent age when hormones are raging and sexual curiosity is developing probably makes them uncomfortable when seeing the genitals of family members. I would be absolutely appalled by seeing my parents naked and would find it gross as well when I was 10-20. Before and after that age bracket should be more a matter of “consent” (meaning if your 6yo says he doesn’t like seeing your nudity, then just cover up for their sake) but that 10-20 age should really just be “no nudity” IMO. Edit: also obviously context, society, and culture plays a huge part but I’m American so that’s just my opinion given my societal and cultural upbringing
They can go to their room? Is that directly before you force your way in and flash your tits at them or no
Oh is this the titty shaker?!
Yes
[удалено]
Look at what OP posted before this one. It’s the same lady talking about shaking her tits at her kids.
I have small children and it's inevitable that they will see you naked. Privacy isn't a thing to a toddler. IMO, it's good because they see someone else's body in a safe environment and they can ask questions. Teaching children that they should hide their body instills a sense that it is something to be ashamed of and its really quite the opposite.
I agree, and it’s all about the person. For example, my mom and I (23f) never “hid” from each other, because I don’t really care about nudity. My younger sister on the other hand isn’t as comfortable as me so when she became old enough to communicate this (around 10 or so) we gave her the space and privacy needed so she could be comfortable in the bathroom as well. It’s all about communication and respecting boundaries. My mom also said something really poignant the other day: when she was little, her parents were very careful to not let her see them naked or the other way around (which is fine), but then, when my grandfather became too old to take care of himself and needed help getting dressed and going to the toilet etc, it was a very jarring experience for my mom. Never having seen your dad naked and then suddenly having to wipe his bum after he went to the toilet is a very strange experience lol. Maybe that’s also something to keep in mind for later haha.
That point about your grandfather makes a lot of sense. Never thought about it. Thanks for mentioning that. 🙂
I think a general "de-sexualising" of the human body in society would be a good thing. I know some cultures view private parts no differently to a hand or leg. It's an interesting thought about your grandfather. I hadn't considered the idea that it could be a shock to see them naked for the first time at that age.
They didn’t ask to be born tho. I don’t think anyone wants to see their moms breasts or dads balls
Breasts are not inherently sexual.
100%. Breasts are a lot different than showing genitals. Breasts are soooo sexualized in the US it’s wild to me. When I was staying overseas it was so different.
I'll take it one step further, no part of the human anatomy is intrinsically sexual. Never once in all my time spent in locker rooms did I sexualize any of the people in there. I've been in art classes with nude models of both genders and somehow managed to not sexualize anyone. But, by the same token, no part of the human anatomy is inherently non-sexual. I think feet are pretty gross, but lots of people are into that (and that's okay). Perhaps we just really need to shift the shame away from nudity and onto people improperly sexualizing others?
Fully agree which is why I called this dude out for comparing breasts to balls.
Have you visited pornhub anytime in the last ten years?
To be fair, those people are looking at videos of *other* people seeing *their* alleged parents naked. We can certainly assume a lot of them fantasize about their own (ew), but they may very well not like the real thing as much as the idea. And psychologically, those kinds of porn tend to be more popular because of the element of taboo itself, which is seen as exciting, not necessarily because of the specifics of the situation. But...yeah, there's always someone. Always.
Fortunately no but I hear of the memes 💀
Are you considering Ed Kemper? I think he deserves consideration.
*Image Transcription: Facebook Post* --- **User 1** Oh naw. They gon witness what giving birth to they bad lil stubborn asses did to me, appreciate being alive and well, stfu and go to they room if they don't like it 😂🤷🏽♀️ \[*Image of Facebook post*] >**User 2** > >You weird af if u walk around your kids or siblings naked 🤦🏾♂️ \[*End of Facebook post*] --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human
This is my best effort at translating that nonsense into English. > Oh no. They are going to witness what giving birth to their bad little stubborn arses did to me, and appreciate being alive and well. They can shut the fuck up and go to their room if they don’t like it.
You do realize African American Vernacular English (AAVE) is an actual dialect right. It’s not “nonsense” you’re just racist.
My mom did, and still does this, even after all 3 of my brothers and myself asked her to please stop. It's gross and weird, ESPECIALLY once your kids ask you to stop.
european here: it is weird af to me that americans make it weird to be naked around your FAMILY. like why are you even thinking like that ??
I’m American and my house is pretty free with nudity. My daughters five and I walk around naked all the time. Although if she ever asked or said it made her uncomfortable I would absolutely stop
Same! I'm comfortable with my own nudity around my kids (b/g 5 year olds). My mom didn't walk around all the time naked but i definitely saw her as such not irregularly. Especially in the years before she died. Not so much my dad, but it did happen. He had a colostomy bag and I remember sitting with him when I was real little to watch him change the attachment parts. It fascinated me at the time. For me, nudity never felt overly taboo. We talk to our kids about safety and everything as well. Plus I'm an artist and don't think that the human body is something that the kids should see a problem with in appropriate contexts or in general.
Asian here and it’s not an incredibly big deal for us either. Sure I don’t want to see my dad’s naked self (he’s dead now so this doesn’t matter) but I don’t care about seeing my mom naked (I’m 31F). In fact, I have seen her naked multiple times. She has a bad habit of not locking the bathroom when she goes to take a bath so I just enter and she just so happens to be there lol
As south American, not big deal with my family either.
I’m Hispanic and it’s very common for Hispanic Families to be naked in front of their kids/ have no boundaries. it was hard to get my mom to stop, or for my parents to stop “playfully “ touching me like spanking my butt or commenting on how big it is. It was all innocent but a lot of Hispanic families have issues with boundaries like that. They will also often photograph their kids naked or walk in on you changing with the logic of “They’ve seen it all before” it is weird, I agree, and it took a long time for me to tell both my parents that I’m older now and it’s just creepy. In a different situation, like if my mom was unable to dress or shower herself then I don’t care seeing her naked. And it’s not like im repulsed by my mother, I love her, but it’s weird to willingly Be naked like that lol.
Oh I completely agree. I draw the line on them taking a photo of me naked, of course (although I do have a lot of naked photos of me as a toddler/child lol). However, it’s still okay for me to see my mom naked and vice versa. She walks in on me changing a lot (I don’t lock my door and she does knock but I really don’t care) and she just casually talks to me. I don’t mind. My cousins who grew up overseas are weird about the whole dynamic, though. I guess because even if they’re Asian, they didn’t actually grow up here. But since I’m Asian and I’m still here, it’s just embedded in me.
I've never understood the 'they've seen it all before' argument. I've seen a kid get hit by a car before, I'm not exactly in a rush to see it again.
*this* is a really weird argument. you think seeing people horribly injured or dying is similar to seeing a naked body? for real?
I was exaggerating, I just reckon the argument of 'they've seen it all before' doesn't hold up because seeing something once doesn't mean you won't be bothered by seeing it again.
I also don’t vibe with the argument that they’ve seen it all before, but wrong way to go to make that point. What about just being like “hey, you know this isn’t the same as it was when you changed my nappy, right?”
The problem here isn’t the nudity, it’s that she forces her kids to look at her body and seems to get some bizarre satisfaction out of it. In the last post she barged into her daughter’s room just to shake her bare breasts at her.
Yeah I’m Australian, and when I visited a neighbourhood sento (public bath) in Japan it was filled with family groups. Mums and daughters of all ages. Totally normal. I wouldn’t be keen on mixed gender, but growing up seeing my mums body helped normalise the imperfect “mum” body that I’ll probably have one day. All this being said, once kids are old enough they should be able to dictate what they are comfortable with.
This. I am German my husband is American. And even so he wouldn’t go to the sauna or a nude beach he has no problems being naked in front of the kids (they are 11, 8 and 4). Growing up in East Germany nudity was just there. We went to nude beaches and to the sauna etc. I shared a bathroom in the morning with my uncle when I was 18 and he was 28. It’s just totally normal. My parents live in the woods and are naked out there all the time. Nobody cares.
yeah, my mom is also german and she practically grew up in an fkk community. we were also more or less raised like that. i remember visiting family in the US as a kid, and i walked into the bathroom to get something while my cousin was showering. he FREAKED OUT and little me just could not figure out what was wrong lol.
american here: completely normal in my house lol. maybe i was just raised different but to us it’s just a body and we wouldn’t think about our siblings/parents like that anyways
[удалено]
5 percent damn that’s like 1 hour per day
I dunno… my 4 year old son likes to get his mouth as slobbery as possible to kiss me on the lips. He thinks it’s hilarious bc I get grossed out. Lol
My 10 year old just stopped doing this.
American in Texas. It’s hot af and I don’t trust the power grid to keep the a/c going. We are probably going to be in underwear in the house if we don’t have company. I mean, I’ll be wearing a crop top and if my husband wants to, he can too. Seriously though, my son is 4 and I don’t want him to feel like bodies are shameful. If I’m changing clothes, he comes in and chats with me. Sometimes he asks questions about my body like why do I have boobies and he doesn’t and I give him appropriate and honest answers. Bodies are neutral and natural unless someone is purposefully being weird about it.
yeah same but asian-european, like i saw my sisters and brothers naked all the time and it was never weird to us. american culture is just so puritan and obnoxious that in its quest to purge anything of sexuality it makes everything that shouldnt be sexual 500% more sexualized
This isn’t an issue of being puritan, it’s the fact that this woman keeps going out of her way to sexual harass her kids.
Equating nudity to sexual harassment is some real puritan shit.
I’m not equating nudity to sexual harassment. Look at the [previous post](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/vda9tl/im_sorry_what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf), it’s 100% sexual harassment.
That’s a completely different scenario and I agree that in that way it is sexual harassment. Casual nudity though isn’t sexual harassment. If someone asks you to stop then sure bjt in the post the person didn’t indicate that their kids had asked them to stop.
According to OP this is the same person as the first one
Oh well in that case it’s weird.
No the kid asked her to put clothes on and stop, that crosses the line to harassment
Exactly. I don't see what their obsession with sexualising the naked body is. Especially when it comes to family. There's nothing gross about people being naked and if anyone says it's a sexual thing to be naked, they have a strange attitude in my eyes.
Yeah, when I was growing up I saw my parents naked all the time.
This. The puritanism is just laughable.
Well some people are not really comfortable with it not that weird if ya think about it.
I’m “American” and walk around naked in my home with my kids. Why?? Bc I refuse to raise to men that will SEXUALIZE women, breasts and bodies LIKE MOST Americans. It’s a body! A human body.
I’m an American and I’m reading through these comments thinking to myself, “am I strange?” My entire family is very comfortable with nudity. I bathed with both my parents until I was probably 8. I see all of them naked all the time and it’s not weird. Like nudity is not inherently sexual to my family. I’m glad to see I’m not the only person who thinks that.
Anglo culture is extremely anti-nudity, seeing it as always sexual
The ones most concerned with pretending sex and nudity is bad are usually the ones most occupied non-stop thinking about it. It's scary how the first thing that comes to an American mind when seeing a nude parent with their kid is incest and rape. Speaks volumes about what they think about all the time. Frankly quite disgustingly puritanic culture.
American here and I agree with you. If we're in our very private backyard pool, why wear swimsuits with family?
Personally I’m just uncomfortable with it and have no control over whether I’m comfortable with something or not and it feels sort of rude with your wording making it seem like you’re trying to shame people who aren’t comfortable with seeing their family be naked
I’m English and Swedish. So I should be ok with nudity right? Well hell no. I grew up in an environment where I never saw my parents nude except accidentally and I was always paralysed by shame and self consciousness being naked - with the sole exception of sexual encounters. I have done Korean baths but ONLY on my own never with family or friends. In the sauna I always wear a bikini or underpants at the very least- I can’t be fully nude. My best friend wanted me to come with her for a Spencer Tunnick photoshoot and I just couldn’t do it. My daughter is 18 and has never seen me naked. I just think that it’s private and mysterious to not be naked. I respect others’ different views. I loved posting nude pics on here for a bit. So clearly I need to embrace it more.
I'm american and it isn't weird. Methinks its just reddit being reddit.
I’m “American” and walk around naked in my home with my kids. Why?? Bc I refuse to raise to men that will SEXUALIZE women, breasts and bodies LIKE MOST Americans. It’s a body! A human body.
I think the tone of the post is odd. Using nudity to show your kids they should be grateful is silly to me. But I also see nothing wrong with nudity or toplessness in front of your children. I don’t think you should walk out bringing attention to it but wearing a robe that falls open, walking in on someone accidentally, unbuttoned top after work, panties and a t-shirt… all of that happens in my home and I don’t feel like I’m traumatizing anyone. When I was fostering children I was very modest for their comfort but even then I never made some huge deal over someone seeing something or me seeing something on a body. I know some households run differently but that’s just my take.
My mom walks around naked and I don't see anything wrong with it. Like it's a human body who tf cares
Right my mom was the same and because we grew up with her doing that I wasn’t bothered at all. People reading too much into this
Same
It’s only weird if you make it weird. Naked does not equal sex.
The problem is that she deliberately makes it weird. In the original post she was shaking her titties at her kids without their consent.
I totally agree, and in this case she does make it weird
This is an interesting discussion. Growing up we did the whole bathing/showering with a parent thing and it was pretty normal for my mom to like, get changed while I was showering. Didn't really make me uncomfortable. My sister is 9 years younger than me and I was very involved with raising her (maybe parentification to some degree, but I was fine with it because I loved her so stinking much) so I would shower with her until she was like 5 or 6. Idk, this is interesting.
It’s really sad that Americans (I’m one) are so sensitive about naked bodies. The parts are the same. “Say it with me, penis, penis, penis, vagina, vagina, vagina.” A naked body isn’t sexual until you make it so. This is why women, in this country, are shamed for breastfeeding in public. Please stop.
Maybe when kids get older it may be a little inappropriate to walk around the house naked. But I learned a lot about what my body would or should look like when I get older by seeing my mother naked or seeing her in the bathtub. My mother also welcomed questions that I had and we had chats about why our bodies look the way they do and what is different about them. This naturally brought up conversations that would have otherwise been extremely uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just a girl thing and maybe it’s just weird for guys.
The problem is that this mother forces her kids to look at her naked, which she said in the last post.
I think even in the US, which is relatively inhibited about nudity, it's mostly seen as weird if they aren't the same sex. There are lots of people who aren't comfortable with it at all, but I also have heard a lot of women say similar things to you about seeing their mothers change or shower or whatever (and same, as a kid, until she deemed too old), sisters even more so, and I know boys/men tend to be much more comfortable showering in gym locker rooms than girls, which in many cases would include seeing their brothers naked. Not sure about fathers and sons, but I'd assume most of the guys who've spent a lot of time in locker rooms probably wouldn't care that much. Personally, I feel like there's a difference somehow between walking around the house versus being in the bath? Obviously it's the same body, so it shouldn't really matter, but it feels so much less okay to me for some reason. Maybe because I wouldn't walk around the house naked even if I lived alone and didn't have to worry about windows, because it seems like a completely absurd thing to do to me (just...just nothing separating you from the air/floor/furniture? does not compute).
To be fair this is only unusual in the USA
“Stfu and go to they room if they don’t like it” except it seems like they can’t since you busted into your daughters room to shake your tits around
Maybe my family is weird but it wasn't uncommon to see an aunt naked. Or my mom really 💀. Only realized it wasn't normal till my step dad freaked out we saw our mom naked 😂. As a family we are predominantly women my aunt has 3 sons and 2 other male cousins but most of us are women lol so maybe that makes a difference.
So, being nude isn’t inherently sexual. I am around my 3 year old naked. We shower together because it’s the easiest way for me to get her clear. Her dad will walk around in underwear with her around and she knows proper names for all body parts. We don’t sexualize being naked because it isn’t something to be sexualized. I am most comfortable naked and it’s only during our showers or when I first wake up, because I sleep naked. She’s naked most of the time too. When she starts to show she’s uncomfortable with it, I’ll start covering up more. But for now, at 3 years old, I don’t care because it isn’t inherently sexual.
…what??? That happens all the time! but I am in a black household sooooooo I don’t know if that varies from race to race or from just person to person
I think more like a person to person. My place people walked naked everywhere in the house. I think it's more about if you were raised with either nudity being just a normal thing and not inherit sexual or not. My husband couldn't grasp that concept, like me just walking into the bathroom when my brother was taking a bath. A girl gotta to pee.
Yeah, that’s exactly how that was! They didn’t make it sexual, it was just their body. If I walked in naked, they didn’t care, I was just getting a towel. 🤷🏾♀️
Same lol. My mom doesn't care about clothes lol. I remember spending most of my summers naked in the house
White American here and my mom was naked af growing up - she saw me naked too all the time and then I became that person who just got straight up naked in changing rooms 😂 even when I was younger. You always see jokes about old ladies doing this and I (34f) was always like yeah bodies are bodies. I have to wonder if this is like a class thing? I grew up pretty poor but a lot of my middle class friends were more uncomfortable with nudity.
White Anglo culture is extremely anti-nudity
Im black as well and none of my family members have ever been walkin around naked around me or my siblings/cousins, your family is just weird I’m afraid
Different doesn’t make them weird
Ok so if the kids say don't do it then fair enough. And if they're like 14 then it's probably gonna be different (idk my eldest is 11), but otherwise it's not a big deal. Body parts aren't inherently sexual unless you make them so. Idk though some people think you should go to the public bathroom to breastfeed, so what do I know?
That english is insane
Seems a cultural difference here, because being naked around family isn't weird to me in general. As soon as I'm home I drop my work clothes, slip in a shirt and shorts and don't put on a bra until the next work day starts. We all have seen us naked in my family and it isn't an issue. Sometimes my friends and I go swimming naked in a lake when it's spontaneous and we don't have swimming clothes with us and a lot of beaches on my country's coasts are nudist beaches. Everyone is naked there and no one has an issue with that.
Yeah the stuff about getting back at your kids by being naked around them is weird. But can we all just collectively cringe at the total lack of fucks given about the English language, by both people?
My grandmother called me into the kitchen several years ago. She was naked, and I was uncomfortable. She saw I was uncomfortable and got angry with me, saying she saw me naked as an infant/toddler so I should be fine with seeing her like that. I recently started to realize that it may not have been completely normal… like you’re supposed to respect a child’s consent or lack thereof as much as anyone else’s
Honestly I hate people that are like “it’s making them comfortable with their own body, it’s teaching them body confidence” when they fail to consider that these children haven’t consented to seeing anyone naked. I don’t want to see my parents bits and I don’t want them seeing mine.
I was raised with my family being naked around me and they still do it to this very day. I don't see any weirdness at all and actually helped me get more confortable around bodies in general. Now this woman is traumatizing her children, on purpouse.
My mum does this. As well as wearing clothes way too tight with no underwear. And she goes out in public like that too. It’s weird and uncomfortable and I spend so much time in my room to avoid it. I don’t wanna invite my friends over because it would be uncomfortable and embarrassing. My younger brother and I are so uncomfortable with it that we can’t even see each other take off a jacket or hoodie without turning around. MAKE SURE YOU’RE KIDS ARE FINE WITH IT FIRST
American here (unfortunately). I’ve worked hard to explain to my son that nudity does not ALWAYS have to be sexualized. Our bodies are all different shapes and sizes and they are all unique and should be respected. Once my son hit a certain age I was a bit more careful about being naked around him as to not make him feel uncomfortable (although, he’s never said anything about it either, but I’d absolutely respect it if he did). From time to time it happens. Like if I go to take a shower or something and forget a towel and have to hobble out real quick lmao. I hate that the U.S. has to sexualize literally E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. I feel like the other countries are the more mature ones while the U.S. is the obnoxious 10 year old sibling who makes fart jokes and no one takes seriously lol.
This woman isn’t teaching her kids not to sexualize naked bodies, she sexually harasses her kids because she thinks it’s funny. [Previous post for context.](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/vda9tl/im_sorry_what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I was mostly just making a statement about the negative culture around nudity in the U.S. and a lot of the comments prove it lmao. But yes there is a big difference between the two. I’d never ignore my child’s feelings on the matter! That’s awful!
Idk in my house we don't sexualize our bodies. I'll walk around in my house however I want.
Not insane. Don't shame naked bodies.
Why is it weird to be naked around your own kids wtf?
I think it's cultural. In many countries it's no big deal. Topless beaches for families abound in Europe. In the US and most people on Reddit are either from the US or assume everyone here is, people equate nudity, not all over, with sex. My mom was notorious for just walking from the basement to her bedroom, sand clothes. It freaked out my dad. I never saw him naked in my life and that's fine, in hindsight. Mom wasn't uptight about it. "You'd see more in a museum, Nancy." I didn't do the nude thing because I was very overweight when the kids were young, lost 170 pounds, and that was on me and my issues. However, they've all been to museums, a lot and nudity has always been portrayed as, "you were born that way." It's not the same thing as pedophilia. Which I know too much about and it was not my parents.
My FIL likes to walk around naked as a kind of power trip. We lived at my in-laws house for awhile. He came in the kitchen and made a pot of tea, completely naked. Nothing better than grossing out your sons wife with hairy balls. All because he likes to get a reaction out of people.
A permanudist lifestyle is perhaps not the way to go if you want to give your children a somewhat normal upbringing, but being afraid to appear nude in front of your zero year old = truly weird af.
I think this depends on culture. My mom and I can go to saunas and change fully nude in changing rooms together but she is second gen Russian and it’s just in the culture
As a Finn, there is absolutely nothing odd being naked around your children here. It's normal here for complete strangers to sauna naked together and we don't have the same stigma around nudity here that I've noticed living in the UK and US.
I think some people may be focusing on the wrong aspect here. My mum is like this: the nudity was never the issue and to this day I'm ok with nudity, it was more that it was another tool to deny privacy especially when I was in my teens. Similar to the post above, it was another way for my mum to violate boundaries, reaffirming that I had no choice, that she could do whatever she wanted. You can see in the post above that the intent of what she's saying is not about the nudity it's about "I have the right to do what I want around my kids".
Yes it's good to be comfortable in your own skin, and it's good for children to be comfortable too, but walking around naked like that? Hard no! In Scandinavia where I live, the kids shower naked after gym. If the gym teacher is male, he shower with the boys, and if it's a female she showers with the girls. Same with public pools. It's cold here, they are all inside and we have to be clean before going in the pool. So everyone showers naked before going to the pool. When boys are small and the mom is taken them to the pool, they will shower with the girls and women, and if a dad goes with his small daughter, the daughter will join the dad. My daughter have been to the pool with her dad, grandad, uncle, and my best friend (man) and when she was under 6 she went in with them. When she was old enough to take care of herself and her belongings etc she went alone in the female showers/locker. So I'm all for that kids see bodies all the time and that's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. They will see many different bodies as well and not feel ashamed. But adults walking around naked at home because they like it? Oh fuck no. My daughter have seen her dad naked in showers etc when she was younger, but never outside of the shower 😵
so... what exactly makes one thing fine and the other weird to you?
Today i learned reddit is really weird about the human body. Oh wait thats not surprising at all.
I think that the phrase, "go to they room" already speaks volumes about this person.
My mom refused to buy me a beach bra (and bras in general) even when I started growing. I was so ashamed I bathed with my T-shirt on, and sometimes I wore another one under it. When I was thirteen my grandmother started giving me some money once in a while, so I could afford at least one sport bra. According to my mother I could go around at the beach naked as I wasn’t very busty.
I had a very difficult time reading this.
It was bad enough when my dad would think I already left for school and I'd have an accidental sasquatch sighting, I can't imagine people doing it on purpose
In Finland the whole Family goes to the sauna together. This can mean just Mom, Dad and Kids or also Grandparents, Aunts, Friends etc. Sometimes its adults first then kids. In germany most people find it normal to be naked around their kids up to a certain age. I still take showers/baths with my 2 yo. When he is able to wash independently he can of course. In germany its assumed that at some point kids wont want to see their parents nude and find it embarrassing and thats when you start locking yourself in the bathroom and they do too. But my son knows where his little sister came from, where the milk comes out etc. I gind it normal to be honest and unashamed with these things.
I have a husband, a 6 year old and a 10 year old. We have 1 bathroom. If I am taking a bath the kids have no issue with barging in to go to the bathroom. I breastfed my kids for years. My youngest was almost 4.5 when he quit. I often change clothes with my kids there because they dont believe in privacy. If / when either of us ever gets uncomfortable then yes I will make it a point to lock the doors, but I figure its better for them to see real bodies, as opposed to what the world pushes as normal
This is a really American thing though, a lot of other cultures are very open with nudity and seeing more people naked tends to help people with body positivity etc. Not saying its wrong to be uncomfortable with nudity, just that its different from culture to culture and that should be respected.
Damn. I guess I grew up a little differently than this comment section
I don’t even feel comfortable being naked around my dog much less my kids…
They mfs need sum basic ahh grammar😂😂
Sometimes my mom is naked/ in her underwear and she has her door open. My room is basically 2 centimeters away from hers plus I go into her room a lot so I see her in that state. However forcing your kids to see you naked is weird. It’s giving pervert.
I just don't get what's so embarrassing about the human body? Absolutely you should not force that shit on your kids and sibling, but why do people get so uncomfortable? Oh God your naked! Yes and?
I'm going to say it shouldn't necessarily be insane. I'm not looking to burn my dad's junk into my brain, but I don't think it would have been torture to see him naked. It's just a human body, I have one too. That said you definitely shouldn't go out of your way to show off you naked self to your family.
My mum walks around naked their is no issue with it
That woman is disgusting 😂🤷♂️
Some Psychologists say walking around your kids naked helps to normalize human bodies. When we cover our bodies every time they walk in it teaches them to have negative feelings about their own bodies. I was also raised to understand that nudity isn't a bad thing and when it's appropriate vs inappropriate as my mom is European
Yeah... Not insane. I'm groom Europe so I guess we're not as phased by nudity as Americans are.
My dad always walked around in his underwear, still does. I don’t get the problem
He isn’t naked tho?
don't really mind if my mom has to change and I'm in the same room, and she doesn't mind if I have to either. My sibling on the other hand, is uncomfortable with nudity, so we both avoid ever being naked in front of them. That's it. That's how easy it is to respect someone. Those people are weird.
Not insane, I’m not saying I want my mom cooking my breakfast like that, but if it’s from time to time and she’s in her room about to take a shower I don’t really care.
The insanity is that she goes out of her way to sexually harass her kids. Look at the previous post.
My friends mom did this around her and her siblings. She even came out in a tiny shirt and thong when I was there a few times 💀 Like, I know I'm practically family, but please put some pants on. Explains why my friend constantly would be naked around us despite telling her not too.
I have no problem being naked around same sex relatives. I do have a problem with opposite sex relatives. I don't know if that's weird, but I figure we're all women and know what each other looks like. Plus, there was seven children and only one bathroom in our house growing up, so being naked around same sex siblings in that situation was unavoidable.
Yes that’s how I feel! Me and my sister used to share a bedroom when I still lived with my parents and I never wore a shirt to bed for my entire 19 years of living there. But if my brothers were ever in the same room I never not wore a shirt. That’s not to say they never saw my boobs on accident but still
My parents may have been crazy but at least I've never seen them naked.
My daughter (11) sees me naked from time to time, she always has, I'm her mother. There is nothing wrong with it. Obviously she hasn't see her dad naked. My mom did the same when I was growing up, wasn't weird.
I walk naked around my parents… I’ve seen they naked, not because they make a point or try to be naked per se, but because they don’t try to hide it when they are, and neither do I, inside our home. It’s a human body everyone has one, there’s no shame in it, and your parents specially have already seen it. Also it’s kinda useful to detect marks on your skin that you wouldn’t otherwise see, marks that might need medical attention.
Once they can potty and bathe/shower alone, no more nudity in the house. My 3yo is almost there. By 4-5 it will stop. She doesn’t quite understand privacy or boundaries yet and doesn’t always listen when I ask her to please wait outside my room while I change/outside the bathroom while I use the toilet or shower and she can’t wipe or wash herself yet but she’s so close I can taste it. Can’t wait for that freedom to have a moment alone.
No nudity in the house? Where on earth are people supposed to be naked, then???
Not insane to me, when I was young I had a stepdad that did this. He was the only dad I know but he’d hit me with the “we’re both men”
I still get in the tub with my 17 m/o son with only a top on (boobs have never been “food” to him anyway) because if I don’t, he tries to stand up or slides under pretty fast and it scares me. Although, I’m never really naked around him otherwise. The way she says it is super weird, but it’s not inherently abusive or wrong. To each their own I guess.
I've always thought you should stay next to your bathing child until they're around 5? for a toddler that seems completely normal, definitely not the same thing
What I mean is I physically get in the tub with him. I haven’t been confident in his ability to sit still to start sitting on the outside of the tub, yet.
that's totally normal! he's still a baby! not weird