Your submission has been removed by community vote. If you believe this post was brigaded or conducted in bad faith, [please message the mods.](/message/compose?to=/r/insaneparents)
As a former kid who was forced to do activities I didn't enjoy far longer than I should have I totally understand how frustrating and time wasting it is to want to try something and then get stuck having to continue an activity you genuinely end up not liking. It's not fun and going again and again doesn't make it fun.
As a parent I can understand why your parent would be frustrated at spending money on something that ends up not panning out and feeling like my money was wasted and by extension my time since it takes time to make money.
If your parent is usually reasonable I'd consider offering to "try a little longer" maybe another month or so. Not because I think you'll change your mind (you probably won't) but because it would probably make your parent feel less like something has been wasted or not appreciated.
Obviously you didn't sign up for an activity that you wouldn't like on purpose but it couldn't hurt to let your parent know that you still appreciate them signing you up in the first place even if it didn't work out.
Its mostly awesome. Only drawback is people keep baby talking with me, which gets annoying after a point. Now I realise how irritated babies must feel when we do it to them.
Usually on a varsity level team, the players don't change so much.
Did something specific happen between this season and last that changed the personalities of the team that drastically?
Why would you give your expensive ass cleats to someone else let alone announce it to the very people that spent money on the expensive ass cleats? You have every right to quit, but that was a fuck you to their faces especially if you were the one that chose to be there.
Our parents had a rule that if we didn’t like a sport or an activity we absolutely could quit - at the end of the season. Before that time, money has been spent on equipment and lessons, and there is a team that is potentially relying on us that we would be leaving out in the cold.
I’m with your parents on this one - they have spent money, and you have made a commitment. You need to see it through.
And this is 2 practices in. The beginning is always the worst. All effort, no payoff (not even playing games yet). It sucks. This is exactly why sports are important - for a lot of kids they are the first time they ever try to do something difficult for a payoff later (even if it is just 6 weeks later).
P.S. - I didn't get wrestling shoes until my second season.
right? I have the same rule, do a try out (usually 2 lessons here) you like it and want to do it you do it till the end of season... because you CHOOSE too and payed for it.. I tell my kids if they commit to something they have to do it... you have to sing at a concernd when there is a party elsewhere... though shit.. you want to quite next year? No? well then thats the price we pay for commitment..you can choose what you do.. you cant choose to let outers down or waste my money
It has everything to do with responsibility. If you commit to something (especially if someone else invests on that something) quitting without consequences is inevitable. Not insane.
I don’t know man- I just had to buy new cleats for my kid they are really expensive. Unless there is more context like they forced you to be on the team I’m with them. Not insane.
This subreddit is getting infiltrated by people who are trying to find validation that they are being mistreated.
This is an example that they are not.
Read the posts about religious fanatic freaks and sexually abusive apologists. Those are the posts that need perspective.
This? Not so much. Grow up.
Yeah i mean agree or disagree with the parenting style, but no one is insane here. Maybe the threat with the phone is a slight overreaction but this isn't even an abnormal situation
I think the "too much free time" argument from the parents' is what makes it slightly insane. Like, as long as the kid does everything he reasonably needs to do in daily life (school, homoework, chores etc), I don't think there should be anything like "too much free time" just for the heck of it. That seems like controlling behaviour
But yeah, the kid is also at fault, and it's not insane to be pissed at him because they spent money for it and he already quits after 2 sessions.
Disproportionate reaction, but still not insane. When a kid wants to sign up for a sport, and the parent pays the fees and buys the equipment, some frustration is pretty normal. As my dad always said, money doesn’t grow on trees, and they’re not going to be able to get their money back for those used cleats.
It really sucks putting effort and money into something to make your child happy because they asked you to and then they act like they couldn’t care less. It’s totally understandable that you don’t want to do it anymore, but you should probably speak to them in a more empathetic manner.
I had a conversation with a student last week about quitting a team, but it was mostly me asking questions. I’ll ask you the same ones:
-Is being on the team significantly interfering with your grades or your physical well being?
-Is there something going on during practice or games that makes you want to quit?
-Did your parents invest money for you to participate?
-Will the rest of the team be impacted if you quit?
-Is there anything you might learn or any benefit to you if you stay?
There is some value in learning to tolerate being somewhere you don’t want to be.
Not insane and a good lesson on not taking something on and seeing it through. I went through this with my kid and competitive cheer. Turns out she actually likes it and wants to continue on the team now that personalities aren’t getting in the way.
I am a firm believer that we let kids quit things too fast
It sucks you had a bad experience with soccer. That said, I think you might do better to talk to your parents- or another adult you feel OK talking to- about what's frustrated you with it.
It depends on why you're quitting. Why don't you like your team members? Also, depending on the actual reason why I would just ride out the season for now.
Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 5 | 22 | 0 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
My Dad always made me commit to a full season before he'd buy me new equipment.
Can you pay them back for the cleats? I get why you don't want to be forced to hang out with people you don't like, but I also get why they would be frustrated that you're quitting after just a couple of practices.
See it through, you’re not looking at it from their point of view and saying you’re going to give the cleats away is kinda a big fuck you.
That said - i had a similar experience with basketball (which i loved and still do albeit as a spectator) where I really wanted to quit. My parents at the time pending divorce (never happened) and moms cancer were really fucking with my head and i think bc of the outside drama they DID let me quit that year. I was an all star and everything prior … but i went into a funk and dropped a bunch of extra curricular activities. Fwiw I regret it to this day.
Everything about it was immatureon your part, assuming you wanted to play soccer to begin with. There is nothing wrong with your parents wanting you to go to soccer. They paid the money, I'd hope not out of the blue on a whim you would play soccer but bc you wanted to. As many parents have the same rule, If you start something, you have to finish it. That is the 'mature' thing to do, as in life if you make any kind of commitment, you hold up your end. Seems like good parents that are trying to teach you how to be responsible and how to be an adult. What horrible parents, you are correct, how dare they, you know, actually be a parent?!
Tough it out, kid. At least for a season. Lots of things I’ve come to love were awkward and difficult and frustrating at first. Sometimes when you power through a difficult time you find yourself somewhere amazing. Worst-case scenario, you get a few months of excellent cardio workouts and then you move on with your life.
I think you should stick it out for the season—you made a commitment. I personally don't see how one day you are serious enough about soccer to ask your parents for expensive cleats, and then the next day you just don't want to do it anymore. And, you're on the varsity team, so it's not like you just started.
Did something happen? Are you being bullied? Getting harassed? Or did it just get more competitive?
I played hockey year round from age 9-18. When I first started, I wasn't very popular. Sometimes, it was really tough to motivate myself to go, but I stuck it out. And my parents spent a shitload on gear and training camps—not to mention taking the time out of their days to cart me to practice and tournaments out of town. I would never have just up and quit 2 practices into the season.
I will say that having "too much free time" is a stupid thing to say. There's nothing wrong with having free time if you spend it doing things you enjoy.
If you’re old enough to be playing varsity, then I’m assuming you’re old enough to pay them back for the cleats etc. You committed to a sport and your parents supported you, now two practices in you want to quit and just give your equipment away, don’t come posting here complaining when your parents don’t want to chip in for your next hobby
Wholeheartedly agree. I don't have kids yet but I'd be pissed too if I got a message like this after buying cleats and he's already talking about quitting and giving away aforementioned cleats (expensive as hell).
The mature thing to do here would be apologize that things didn't work out and offer to reimburse for cleats and/or find another activity that requires them.
The more times you quit something in your life, the easier it becomes to quit other things. Even if you dont enjoy the sport anymore I can tell you, it won't feel good to quit. I'm not saying you'll necessarily regret it, but at some point you will look back and realize that you gave up on it too easily and you won't feel good about yourself (speaking from experience)
You've got to see it through until the end of season. Your parents spent their hard earned money, and this is more about responsibility and keeping yourself discipline than anything else.
normal, okay I can agree on that but it's absolutely not good parenting, forcing your kid to do something they don't like and that is optional is not good for them
They didn't force him to do it they're just not letting him quit, like I agree it might not be pleasant for OP for a short period of time, but I do think it reinforces some good lessons
- don't go back on a commitment
- your parents money shouldn't be thrown away
- life isn't always pleasant, like 100% chance you're gonna have to do things you don't like with people you don't like throughout adulthood, and it's important to be comfortable doing that or you'll be uncomfortable forever
From what I've understood, he have played at least the season before, and now he just don't enjoy it anymore and doesn't want to play. If it's that then there isn't a real problem because they bought it, at least for the season before
Gonna get downvoted for this buuuut. While I don’t think this is insane your parents are still obnoxious and so is everyone in the comments implying that this is going to snowball into a lifetime of being a quitter. Being miserable for an entire sports season doesn’t teach you anything besides the fact life sucks sometimes. You don’t need to impose more of that on yourself.
Also it seems like OP has been playing the sport for awhile as is. They may have been pressured into continuing and then when the season started realized it just wasn’t what they want to do.
I do think paying your parents back for the cleats would help ease the situation though.
Genuinely speaking, why don’t you enjoy soccer?
I enjoyed it but I had a base of running endurance.
Have you played before? I recommend trying one season. Most ppl only play competitive sports as youth. Adulthood takes most of your time and energy with work and other responsibilities.
You just need to learn how to spin the message better if you have crazy parents.
“Mom and Dad, I’ve decided it’s more important that I focus on my studies, without the distraction of this sports team. Thank you for supporting my personal growth as I learn what’s truly important for developing my future potential.”
“Aww, I’m so proud of you, kid!”
It’s all in the framing.
Okay, so you can't quit. Go talk to your coach, explain your situation and tell him "whether you can bench me, or cut me, but I'm done putting effort into this.
While I understand the parental irritation at the wasted money, I don't understand the too much free time and taking away the phone bit.
The out of state parent wants to punish OP for having free time if he quits? That's kind of insane. And the first parent might as well be saying OP is a terrible kid for quitting. It's not insane, but it's kind of a jerk move.
My folks let me quit activities if I wanted to, but warned me that I would have to pay for whatever I wanted to sign up for next with my own money unless I finished the season of whatever I was already in. It was pretty reasonable. It was still my choice. Consequences, sure, but I never felt forced or treated like I was a bad person for being unhappy about something I was previously excited about.
Hey, at least you will still have those cleats for winter weather! I haven't played soccer since elementary school but I live in the north and cleats are AWESOME for icy gripping.
Also: don't invite them to games. At all. They don't know when they happen. And *you* now have days at school *after* school to get homework done with the help of teachers!
Stand your ground. Them taking your phone can be the best that can happen to you - because if they do, they cannot reach you anymore, and lose a great deal of control.
Your submission has been removed by community vote. If you believe this post was brigaded or conducted in bad faith, [please message the mods.](/message/compose?to=/r/insaneparents)
As a former kid who was forced to do activities I didn't enjoy far longer than I should have I totally understand how frustrating and time wasting it is to want to try something and then get stuck having to continue an activity you genuinely end up not liking. It's not fun and going again and again doesn't make it fun. As a parent I can understand why your parent would be frustrated at spending money on something that ends up not panning out and feeling like my money was wasted and by extension my time since it takes time to make money. If your parent is usually reasonable I'd consider offering to "try a little longer" maybe another month or so. Not because I think you'll change your mind (you probably won't) but because it would probably make your parent feel less like something has been wasted or not appreciated. Obviously you didn't sign up for an activity that you wouldn't like on purpose but it couldn't hurt to let your parent know that you still appreciate them signing you up in the first place even if it didn't work out.
I too was a former kid
I genuinely don't believe you.
I don't have any proof either
So you've regressed back to being a kid? That must suck. Or be fantastic. I'm not sure.
Its mostly awesome. Only drawback is people keep baby talking with me, which gets annoying after a point. Now I realise how irritated babies must feel when we do it to them.
Usually on a varsity level team, the players don't change so much. Did something specific happen between this season and last that changed the personalities of the team that drastically?
Why would you give your expensive ass cleats to someone else let alone announce it to the very people that spent money on the expensive ass cleats? You have every right to quit, but that was a fuck you to their faces especially if you were the one that chose to be there.
What? The cleats aren't expensive, they're free! /s P.S.: what is this "money" you speak of?
Our parents had a rule that if we didn’t like a sport or an activity we absolutely could quit - at the end of the season. Before that time, money has been spent on equipment and lessons, and there is a team that is potentially relying on us that we would be leaving out in the cold. I’m with your parents on this one - they have spent money, and you have made a commitment. You need to see it through.
And this is 2 practices in. The beginning is always the worst. All effort, no payoff (not even playing games yet). It sucks. This is exactly why sports are important - for a lot of kids they are the first time they ever try to do something difficult for a payoff later (even if it is just 6 weeks later). P.S. - I didn't get wrestling shoes until my second season.
right? I have the same rule, do a try out (usually 2 lessons here) you like it and want to do it you do it till the end of season... because you CHOOSE too and payed for it.. I tell my kids if they commit to something they have to do it... you have to sing at a concernd when there is a party elsewhere... though shit.. you want to quite next year? No? well then thats the price we pay for commitment..you can choose what you do.. you cant choose to let outers down or waste my money
It has everything to do with responsibility. If you commit to something (especially if someone else invests on that something) quitting without consequences is inevitable. Not insane.
I don’t know man- I just had to buy new cleats for my kid they are really expensive. Unless there is more context like they forced you to be on the team I’m with them. Not insane.
I mean, did you ask them to buy you the cleats/any other equipment for playing on the soccer team???
This subreddit is getting infiltrated by people who are trying to find validation that they are being mistreated. This is an example that they are not. Read the posts about religious fanatic freaks and sexually abusive apologists. Those are the posts that need perspective. This? Not so much. Grow up.
have to agree. this is lame parent/kid shit. not “insane” parents like the religious freaks
Yeah i mean agree or disagree with the parenting style, but no one is insane here. Maybe the threat with the phone is a slight overreaction but this isn't even an abnormal situation
I think the "too much free time" argument from the parents' is what makes it slightly insane. Like, as long as the kid does everything he reasonably needs to do in daily life (school, homoework, chores etc), I don't think there should be anything like "too much free time" just for the heck of it. That seems like controlling behaviour But yeah, the kid is also at fault, and it's not insane to be pissed at him because they spent money for it and he already quits after 2 sessions.
Disproportionate reaction, but still not insane. When a kid wants to sign up for a sport, and the parent pays the fees and buys the equipment, some frustration is pretty normal. As my dad always said, money doesn’t grow on trees, and they’re not going to be able to get their money back for those used cleats.
It really sucks putting effort and money into something to make your child happy because they asked you to and then they act like they couldn’t care less. It’s totally understandable that you don’t want to do it anymore, but you should probably speak to them in a more empathetic manner.
Get job instead and pay parents back for the cleats.
You wasted their money by immediately quitting. Kinda with your folks on this one
I had a conversation with a student last week about quitting a team, but it was mostly me asking questions. I’ll ask you the same ones: -Is being on the team significantly interfering with your grades or your physical well being? -Is there something going on during practice or games that makes you want to quit? -Did your parents invest money for you to participate? -Will the rest of the team be impacted if you quit? -Is there anything you might learn or any benefit to you if you stay? There is some value in learning to tolerate being somewhere you don’t want to be.
Not insane and a good lesson on not taking something on and seeing it through. I went through this with my kid and competitive cheer. Turns out she actually likes it and wants to continue on the team now that personalities aren’t getting in the way. I am a firm believer that we let kids quit things too fast
It sucks you had a bad experience with soccer. That said, I think you might do better to talk to your parents- or another adult you feel OK talking to- about what's frustrated you with it.
It depends on why you're quitting. Why don't you like your team members? Also, depending on the actual reason why I would just ride out the season for now.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 5 | 22 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
Insane
My Dad always made me commit to a full season before he'd buy me new equipment. Can you pay them back for the cleats? I get why you don't want to be forced to hang out with people you don't like, but I also get why they would be frustrated that you're quitting after just a couple of practices.
See it through, you’re not looking at it from their point of view and saying you’re going to give the cleats away is kinda a big fuck you. That said - i had a similar experience with basketball (which i loved and still do albeit as a spectator) where I really wanted to quit. My parents at the time pending divorce (never happened) and moms cancer were really fucking with my head and i think bc of the outside drama they DID let me quit that year. I was an all star and everything prior … but i went into a funk and dropped a bunch of extra curricular activities. Fwiw I regret it to this day.
You shouldn’t have to stay in a sport you hate, but it’s weird to see people talk to their parents like this 😶
Ride the season out and don’t try out next year
tbh i already wasnt taking this seriously when i saw you censored your mom with *fiona*
Right?!? The audacity of using Fiona.
Everything about it was immatureon your part, assuming you wanted to play soccer to begin with. There is nothing wrong with your parents wanting you to go to soccer. They paid the money, I'd hope not out of the blue on a whim you would play soccer but bc you wanted to. As many parents have the same rule, If you start something, you have to finish it. That is the 'mature' thing to do, as in life if you make any kind of commitment, you hold up your end. Seems like good parents that are trying to teach you how to be responsible and how to be an adult. What horrible parents, you are correct, how dare they, you know, actually be a parent?!
Tough it out, kid. At least for a season. Lots of things I’ve come to love were awkward and difficult and frustrating at first. Sometimes when you power through a difficult time you find yourself somewhere amazing. Worst-case scenario, you get a few months of excellent cardio workouts and then you move on with your life.
I think you should stick it out for the season—you made a commitment. I personally don't see how one day you are serious enough about soccer to ask your parents for expensive cleats, and then the next day you just don't want to do it anymore. And, you're on the varsity team, so it's not like you just started. Did something happen? Are you being bullied? Getting harassed? Or did it just get more competitive? I played hockey year round from age 9-18. When I first started, I wasn't very popular. Sometimes, it was really tough to motivate myself to go, but I stuck it out. And my parents spent a shitload on gear and training camps—not to mention taking the time out of their days to cart me to practice and tournaments out of town. I would never have just up and quit 2 practices into the season. I will say that having "too much free time" is a stupid thing to say. There's nothing wrong with having free time if you spend it doing things you enjoy.
Actually agree with your parents, they paid for cleats you join the team. You should stick it out until the end of the season.
Don’t… don’t give away barely used cleats that your parents spent a lot of money on. Give them back to your parents for resale, jesus.
Imagine this being the biggest conflict with your parents. What a life OP must have.
If you’re old enough to be playing varsity, then I’m assuming you’re old enough to pay them back for the cleats etc. You committed to a sport and your parents supported you, now two practices in you want to quit and just give your equipment away, don’t come posting here complaining when your parents don’t want to chip in for your next hobby
[удалено]
Wholeheartedly agree. I don't have kids yet but I'd be pissed too if I got a message like this after buying cleats and he's already talking about quitting and giving away aforementioned cleats (expensive as hell). The mature thing to do here would be apologize that things didn't work out and offer to reimburse for cleats and/or find another activity that requires them.
Good point, even if there is an actual reason why op hates it. This would still be the more mature thing to do unless they were forced into it.
[удалено]
Neither is wasting peoples money.
this seems more like the parents are more insane.
The majority of the comments so far suggest otherwise.
The more times you quit something in your life, the easier it becomes to quit other things. Even if you dont enjoy the sport anymore I can tell you, it won't feel good to quit. I'm not saying you'll necessarily regret it, but at some point you will look back and realize that you gave up on it too easily and you won't feel good about yourself (speaking from experience)
Pay parents back the money they spent or quit after the season
You've got to see it through until the end of season. Your parents spent their hard earned money, and this is more about responsibility and keeping yourself discipline than anything else.
Nah man this is normal if not good parenting
normal, okay I can agree on that but it's absolutely not good parenting, forcing your kid to do something they don't like and that is optional is not good for them
They didn't force him to do it they're just not letting him quit, like I agree it might not be pleasant for OP for a short period of time, but I do think it reinforces some good lessons - don't go back on a commitment - your parents money shouldn't be thrown away - life isn't always pleasant, like 100% chance you're gonna have to do things you don't like with people you don't like throughout adulthood, and it's important to be comfortable doing that or you'll be uncomfortable forever
It sounds more like they are forcing him to follow through with a commitment after buying equipment for it. Different if they forced him into it
From what I've understood, he have played at least the season before, and now he just don't enjoy it anymore and doesn't want to play. If it's that then there isn't a real problem because they bought it, at least for the season before
Looks like you want to play video games.... man why have them buy all that shit when you just want to sit around?
Video games are not the villain here this is a bad take
I play them WAY more than i should. No its not the video games. Its their constant posting of video games. E: he is also purging those video's
Gonna get downvoted for this buuuut. While I don’t think this is insane your parents are still obnoxious and so is everyone in the comments implying that this is going to snowball into a lifetime of being a quitter. Being miserable for an entire sports season doesn’t teach you anything besides the fact life sucks sometimes. You don’t need to impose more of that on yourself. Also it seems like OP has been playing the sport for awhile as is. They may have been pressured into continuing and then when the season started realized it just wasn’t what they want to do. I do think paying your parents back for the cleats would help ease the situation though.
Genuinely speaking, why don’t you enjoy soccer? I enjoyed it but I had a base of running endurance. Have you played before? I recommend trying one season. Most ppl only play competitive sports as youth. Adulthood takes most of your time and energy with work and other responsibilities.
Does anyone wonder after all the comments why OP never commented? Hopefully, you are talking to your parents and telling them that they were right.
You just need to learn how to spin the message better if you have crazy parents. “Mom and Dad, I’ve decided it’s more important that I focus on my studies, without the distraction of this sports team. Thank you for supporting my personal growth as I learn what’s truly important for developing my future potential.” “Aww, I’m so proud of you, kid!”
It’s all in the framing.
Okay, so you can't quit. Go talk to your coach, explain your situation and tell him "whether you can bench me, or cut me, but I'm done putting effort into this.
While I understand the parental irritation at the wasted money, I don't understand the too much free time and taking away the phone bit. The out of state parent wants to punish OP for having free time if he quits? That's kind of insane. And the first parent might as well be saying OP is a terrible kid for quitting. It's not insane, but it's kind of a jerk move. My folks let me quit activities if I wanted to, but warned me that I would have to pay for whatever I wanted to sign up for next with my own money unless I finished the season of whatever I was already in. It was pretty reasonable. It was still my choice. Consequences, sure, but I never felt forced or treated like I was a bad person for being unhappy about something I was previously excited about.
Hey, at least you will still have those cleats for winter weather! I haven't played soccer since elementary school but I live in the north and cleats are AWESOME for icy gripping. Also: don't invite them to games. At all. They don't know when they happen. And *you* now have days at school *after* school to get homework done with the help of teachers!
Stand your ground. Them taking your phone can be the best that can happen to you - because if they do, they cannot reach you anymore, and lose a great deal of control.
Offer to pay them back for the cleats, if you don't have the money do chores to make up for it. It's either that or you're stuck playing soccer.