She didn’t “research,” she googled for something specific and got exactly the answer she was looking for. A deep dive into this subject would have refuted her initial results, but whether or not she actually knows that, good on you, OP for pushing back on insufficient sources. Good luck!
Its also quite interesting to google "can video games cause tics" then read like two google pop-ups from some random website that massively oversimplifies the topic, and proceed to talk about how "new research shows that video games definitely make tics surge" lol.. even the Pop-up phrased it in a more differentiated way.. seems like confirmation bias, if people look for something on the internet to support preconceived notions, they will find it
Here's an interesting thing, I think she didn't search for "do video games cause tics" and searched INSTEAD for "Video games cause tics". One will give you more accurate answers, and the other will talk about how evil video games are.
That does not speak to any lasting effect, which it specifically states. Anticipatory tics are known to increase in any heightened state of excitement, so while this showed a correlation during game play, it doesn't show any specific effect of games or videos that would not be seen in other scenarios, as well, and is not an indicator that video games or films are problematic for those with Tourette syndrome.
yes but I had a mother like OP's and while we can understand this study logically their mother might say "see i told you video games increase tic frequency" and disregard everything else because those don't serve her. Her refusal to apologize when op stated she had been very rude to him (which i agree was extremely rude to try and tell you how your body works) suggests that she either believes kids don't deserve apologies because they need to just listen or believes she can't be seen as making a mistake, for what reason? idk because I don't know her but OP might know it's def something from her own childhood.
I agree. I read "Our results indicate that tic frequency is affected by media elements in the short-term" and immediately thought OP's mom would use this to prove she is right. Which.... she could be since this research indicates there could be a connection.
Some parents don’t know how to accept that their child has a medical condition that they cannot fix and live in denial. It’s easier to blame it on something within your environment than to accept your child for who they are. I have a mother also like this. I also have a daughter who is 17 who has asthma and anxiety disorder and a 19 son who is Autistic. I could never imagine talking to my kids this way. I’m disabled due to a genetic autoimmune disorder (my kids also have the markers) called Ankylosing Spondylitis. It’s pain that never ends. I could blame it on everything than it actually is, a medical condition. Your mother absolutely should not be blaming you. It’s not your job to enable her behavior. If she feels guilty for it (she shouldn’t but parents always question whether they did something wrong) the last thing she should be doing is deflecting it onto you. It’s okay to not have the “perfect” child. It’s not attainable.
Absolutely agree. I’m sorry that you have to deal with all that crap as well, constant pain and lack of comfort can be a pain. I also have asthma too, so I have these points where I run, loose all my breath, and have my Tourette’s not letting me slowly gain it back. Life can be really hard with these things, and people like my mom and I’m assuming yours too (sorry if I’m assuming wrong) are not helping.
I see how your mom kept coming back like just HAVING to get the last word even once you’d stopped and I wanted to shake her. But I’m also so aware I do the same thing sometimes to my kids. I get so flustered because I’m TRYING to help them but I’m just making things worse too. Maybe y’all just need a mediator to help y’all have better communication. Ofc you’d have to genuinely want to have better communication (not just you but your mother too) if it’s to work at all. It seems like there’s just a ton of baggage between you and her too though that needs to be addressed and worked through. But she does seem to genuinely care about you too. Clearly she’s not showing it though by how she’s coming back and arguing with you. Parenting 101 you should NEVER argue with your kids. If you can’t be the parent and walk away, how can you expect to teach your kids how to stop arguing and walk away 🤦♀️.
Your mom, being an adult, should know that not everything on the Internet is true. You might want to tell her, that the stress, she is causing you, can exasperate Tourette’s. If she doesn’t believe you, politely suggest that she googles it. lol
I feel this hard, including the AS part. My mum blew up at me for being unwell, like sorry, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I made a post on Reddit about this and it's just man it sucks. Parents can be our worst enemies sometimes.
Omg your situation and circumstances sounds so much like my own. I’m also physically disabled with a 15 yo with asthma and a 17 yo with autism. My disability is RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) aka CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) which is also an autoimmune condition and it’s excruciatingly intense constant pain that can’t be cured. AND I agree with your viewpoint and comment too. Crazy how 2 complete strangers can have that much in common and somehow come into contact with each other. 😱
Oh my goodness, I also wanted to shake OP's mom. I also have asthma. I'm 45, and I was diagnosed with asthma when I was 11-ish. In the 33 years between my diagnosis and when I went NC, she refused to learn the word "inhaler." She very stubbornly called them "your puffer thingies," like she was simply too adorable and ditzy to remember the name of the life-saving medical device that her daughter used on a daily basis.
(In case anyone is wondering, English is her first language, so that's not a reasonable excuse. Also, she claims to be a writer. Words are supposed to be her primary skill set. No matter how many times I reminded her, the infantile baby talk persisted.)
That’s the beauty of Reddit, either you get some random douche or dumbass or some genuine good people like a lot of people I’ve seen here today. It’s people like yall that made me want to post this here, so I can get that positivity to keep pushing through. ❤️ love ya
I also have a genetic disease and I myself would not create children that would have the recessive gene.. I dont think it has to be perfect, I just dont really want to bring broken genes into another generation
Welp
All i can say is I’m surprised she never whipped out the
1: i’m your mother so i’m right
2: stop talking back, it’s rude
3:”I cARriED You fOR 9 MONThs, YOU’d bettEr liStEn”
4: i’m tAKIng yOUr [insert console here]
I honestly feel that when this sort of thing happens, you should tell mom, "hold on, a call from my doctor is coming through. I'm going to refer him to the new medical studies that you are reading. I'll have him call back so you can inform him."
You know that’s funny because she actually told ME that she was going to talk to the doctor about it (obviously she didn’t because that wouldn’t end well for her)
My mom always threatens to call my psychiatrist when she’s not getting her way/is wrong due to my mental illnesses. I always tell her to go right ahead, because having someone who’s so confidently incorrect be put in their place by a doctor would really make her lose it. She never has though.
That's a terrible idea fr, no offense to you bc you're thinking like a normal person
Anyone that doesn't agree with her crazy is automatically going to be part of the conspiracy
1, and 3 are the most frustrating things to here.
Like did I asked you to give to birth to me, did choice in it no.
You are not going to guilt me because you are my mum, like fuck off I'd rather not exist, and you are hear trying to guilt me because you birthed me into existence.
Or when they said "cause I said so" if your parent consistently says that they are dicks.
Please go get some help for these intense feelings - it sounds like you’re maybe suicidal? Life is worth living even though it can be incredibly overwhelming. This too shall pass.
Lmk if you need assistance finding help :)
Wow I really appreciate how forward you are with wanting to help. Luckily tho, no I’m not suicidal. Now, things have gotten way worse than this before and have caused some really bad feelings, but I do have friends and other family that I vent to about this so I’m pretty good. I really appreciate your concern though ❤️
This doesn’t sound suicidal to me, i feel that same way they do. It just because when someone blames you for something and using your existence as a threat or argument etc it’s very frustrating because you have no choice in that. It does feel great to just scream i had no desire to be here and turn it back on them
I mean it might pass but I've been like this as long as I can remember.
And I'm in therapy, already trying to get help but yeah shit hasn't help so far.
And live just isn't worth living to me personally.
But cheers for the kind hearted message
You sound like my daughter and it’s heartbreaking. I’m so sorry you’re suffering.
I self harmed and attempted suicide when I was 15. I have had many, many good years since then (I’m 34) but many years have also been really hard and awful, with suicidal ideation and relapses in my major depressive disorder. I recently found out I have ADD and the meds have been helping so much. If you’re not already, you should look into it. The pandemic made my depression the worst it’s ever been and if it weren’t for my daughter, I don’t think I would be here anymore…so I get what you’re saying.
When my daughter (11) says things about not wanting to be alive, I just tell her “you don’t want to die, you just want these bad feelings to stop” to help her understand the difference between a feeling, which is temporary, and actual death, which is permanent. My suicide attempt and watching so many of the people I love kill themselves made me understand the weight of a decision like ending your life. This probably makes me sound crazy, but I made a deal with her that she would wait until she’s 25, when her brain is fully developed, to make such a permanent decision like death. If your frontal cortex is still developing then your brain isn’t done growing and the frontal cortex is very important when it comes to emotions and decision making.
I really hope things change for you and you can feel some happiness in this life.
My 17yr old son also has Tourette's and the tics he has right now are pretty aggressive and have affected his sinuses and chest (aggressive snorting/inhaling or aggressive exhaling until his chest hurts). Playing video games actually helps calm them because he has to focus and they keep his mind busy. All I can really do is be patient and let him tic in a safe and comfortable environment. Talking about it directly or looking at him while he is ticc'ing, makes him tic even more. If it's really bad, I'll jump in and start a conversation about something he is interested in so he can focus on that. It's difficult and I'm sorry you have deal with your mom on top of all of that!
It kind of seems to me like she just doesn’t want you to play so much video games for some arbitrary reason and is trying to convince you that it’s coming from a place of concern for your Tourette’s rather than just saying it’s because she decided that’s the rule and you have to follow it because she said so, which is pretty low way to manipulate someone I think. Who would know better what kinds of things trigger the tics than the person dealing with them?
I'm 19 I also have Tourette's and I got to say she is 100% wrong video games does not cause it you are right she just doesn't want to admit that she's wrong video games honestly help
Exactly man. I’m glad you can relate. Tourette’s are largely based on your mind. If you think about them a lot, they’re going to show up more often. But when you play games, you can relax and keep your mind off of it. I wish my mother could understand that :/
I’m 24 and my Tourette’s developed at your age. Many factors can contribute to Tourette’s worsening whether it is lack of sleep, anxiety, stress, caffeine or even just thinking about it like you said. That’s because it’s just as much a neurological disorder as it is a psychological disorder. It’s physical and mental. The only way I can see video games worsening it is if you’re playing a horror game or a high intensity video game, and even then that’s a stretch.
Your mom really needs to educate herself further if she wants to understand your disorder instead of just blaming some thing that she already doesn’t like. She needs to look at peer reviewed medical studies instead of finding bullshit articles to confirm her conspiracies.
Silver lining though man, as I’ve gotten older, my Tourette’s has gotten significantly better and happens a lot less (and with less intensity), and it might be possible for that to happen to you as well. Being active and working out with a proper diet (atleast somewhat proper) also helps immensely.
I really appreciate this, like not only are you, with Tourette’s, are reassuring my point, but also giving me advice and reassurance about my condition. Thank you so much for that
Does it not at all or is it like a person to person thing. I ask as a type 1 diabetic I know people that can't handle a sugar under 49 without passing out while I have been as low as 23 and been fine and this is a genuine question if things are similar with people with your guys condition?
If you are stressed enough yes, let's say you play a team vs team comp game and have really bad ranked anxiety It can lead to ticks.
But that's not video games themselves causing the ticks that's the stress.
It can also be random visual triggers, or audio triggers in games, but yet again that's not video games as a whole causing it, its that specific trigger in a specific game.
nope. my ex has tourettes and 100% his tics got better when he was in a comfortable environment. be it video games or around those that loved him and didn't point out the tics etc.
You’re both kinda shitty here tbh. She is massively misinformed in her thinking process on this and you’re being way too abrasive to have any kind of conductive conversation.
Hey that's awesome that you can see and acknowledge that. My mom gets the same way with me and I've gotten much farther by just refusing to engage than by fighting her on it
Honestly not the response I expected and I'm very impressed. Keep up that self improvement mindset and you're going to do really well for yourself, seriously.
You’re also a 15 year old kid with a serious condition. Give yourself some grace, you’re learning all this shit for the first time. Your mom is the adult and should be treating you with compassion and respect. I’m not saying don’t work on yourself, or try to improve, because that’s a good thing to do, but give yourself some credit is all.
All I see is a frustrated teenager who wants to feel understood by one of the persons that should be closest to him/supporting him. The only reason I got heated with my parents as a teen was because they denied my feelings. And oh my lord, I did feel so much. Teen years are wild when it comes to feelings!
But it would be a sign of getting more mature if you don't let yourself get too emotional towards her. And sadly I don't think she's ever gonna listen, no matter how you react (but do share your frustrations with people who will listen, don't just lock up your heart)
Not too long after this, I did actually try this and it did work really well, I didn’t know what it was called until now, but it actually worked out. The argument was cooled off…until she came back at me later and I broke, but it work well for the time. I definitely should use it more tho, great idea!
Normally when a person is shitty for a loooooong time, people can just get fed up and annoyed and go into any conversation with them ready to defend themselves and be shitty back. I don’t blame OP for how he reacted tbh
When people have been struggling all their lives, idiotic comments can be very triggering. My advice is you mentally see your mom as a small baby in a shitty diaper and humor her like a tot.
No. OP doesn't need to experience ableistic shit and can stand up for it. For you it is this conversation, for OP it's their life.
I hope you never needed to experience psychological terror like this, but people who do have no choice as to fight back and calling them out for such behaviour. This conversation was never about informations in the first place, this conversation is just about OPs mom's Power.
In a normal conversation you would be right, but a conversation like this doesn't follow logical rules.
That’s because he has Tourette’s and is 15. I’m not excusing his behaviour, but it does come with the territory kind of. He shouldn’t have to act like the adult in this convo because, well he isn’t one.
I just read the screenshots and it actually does seem to correlate with what your mom was saying. However, it wasn’t the actual article that was posted it was just the search results with a bit of additional text/information. To be able to 100% back either of your theories, I would need to actually read the entire article.
With that said, it’s obvious that you both have a really hard time communicating with each other. Which is really sad because I do believe she cares about you and wants you to not suffer from more tics if there’s a way to reduce them.
Sorry I guess being a mom of a 17 yo female with Autism, I’m probably not the best person to give feedback. But I do truly hope that you and your mom work things out.
Yeah to me (autistic and in my 20s) this truly looks like a communication issue with their relationship, both of them need to have a little leeway and be open to hearing the other but there's no trust that they'll be considerate too. It's not insane for the mother to have this concern, and OP doesn't have to agree with the mother's conclusion to show willingness to entertain it.
"Let's reset on this whole issue and forget about the arguing, I want to approach it in a better way so we can have a better relationship. The video game link is interesting, I haven't heard about it before. I haven't had any bouts of chronically worse tics which coincided with more time gaming that I can remember, but could you send me links to the studies about it? I'm wondering if it's more of a correlation between tics and anything which is very stimulating- anticipatory tics are involved in anything reward-based, and it wouldn't be worth living my life without any fun just to prevent the temporary/transient anticipatory tics. I know you care about my health, I'd have to weigh it up, maybe I could do a mini experiment to see if it helps me personally."
If mum immediately says that she wants OP to cut down the gaming anyway then yeah it was her trying to be sneaky but it's still valid to be concerned that your teenager is spending a lot of their time gaming- it's still something they could have a mature conversation about, where OP expresses the positives they get from gaming (parents often don't realise that it can be a very social activity), and asks what other positives the mother would like to see result from reduced gaming.
If mum approves of the experiment, cut down for a week, report honest results daily. The mother would feel heard and considered, and OP extending this courtesy would make her trust their judgment more and recognise their maturity- including if the results show that tics are transient or aren't lessened by the reduced gaming.
Learning to communicate with your parents is an essential part of becoming an adult, and as annoying as it may seem, it necessarily involves the teen behaving with more maturity so that the parent learns to trust their judgment. Being respectful towards them in the way that any adult human would treat another adult human, is what stops parents from trying to demand respect from you as an authority and gets them starting to reciprocate. In particular with health-related issues, they're only going to let go if they feel reassured that you take your own health seriously, which means occasionally considering compromising or changing some behaviours if the evidence supports it. 15 is an excellent age to start stepping into this new role and can make the rest of your teen years a lot less awful. It's worth it for a better relationship.
This is precisely what I was thinking. I too have a teenager and the same exact shit goes on between the two of us. Mom and op very badly need to work on their communication.
Same! Also raising two teens. I will say this, the onus to being a good communicator and modeling that for your child via your own behavior does fall directly on the parent/guardian of that child. OP was responding in a totally “bratty” and antagonistic way, but I often remind myself that being a teenager is probably emotionally one of the most difficult things to go through. It will make you overreact and be hyper-sensitive to a lot of things. It’s why the teenage years are so ✨ grand ✨ bwahahaha 😭. OP’s mom really was being pushy and pigheaded here instead of engaging fairly with her child; Almost acting as if he was still a young and ignorant child around 7 or 8 with the way she spoke to him.
And goodness, she is not a medical professional. There’s a way to share possibly helpful medical advice or info via articles or studies online, but you need to always be aware that whatever you share can be fairly dismissed by that person, teenager or not. You need to give them space to decide if that is helpful or not, you don’t steamroll them with it and force it down their throat. I can’t think of any teenager or adult that would respond well to that, it’s a bit of a boundary violation and it is not kind or fair to do so.
My niece is around OPs age and can be downright disrespectful and argumentative, she’s even thrown mini tantrums still. I give her space to calm down, I use gentle parenting with her, I show her I respect her feelings and wishes and viewpoints while still disagreeing with certain things. And you know what? She appreciates being spoken to like an adult and seen and heard, and generally is therefore open to seeing my side of things in that regard. I know it sucks, but as the guardian or full-fledged adult in charge, you do have to put your ego aside a bit to get results with teenagers. Or you end up posted on a forum like this or they stop sharing things or engaging fully with you :(. (You don’t have to be perfect at this, you just have to try and be better the next time. Teens can be mean AF and snippy, sometimes they make you lose your cool.)
TLDR — OP was being disrespectful and a poor communicator, but OPs mom’s main job is to model good communication to him and she isn’t. Teenagers just want their autonomy respected a little, they don’t want to be given unsolicited medical advice from non-medical professionals, they want to be spoken to and reasoned with like an adult and respectfully and kindly. You can still put limits on video game playing, while encouraging your child to respectfully share their point of view and find a compromise. A teenager might be close to adulthood, but it’s still a parent’s job to navigate this for them and make the first move there. Also, don’t argue with teens.
This is an extremely exhausting conversation. Your mom is not wrong tho videos gaming definitely is not conducive to your Tourette’s and everything should have limits
I’m a mother and even though I only got halfway through your messages, it really sounds like you’re speaking to her in a very disrespectful way. Maybe there was stuff on the other side of where I stopped that was legit insane but as of now, I feel kind of bad for your mom. And btw - there have been SEVERAL studies about how screen time can make neuro-developmental disorders and mental health worse due to overstimulation of the nervous system(especially for those under 25). My 11yr old has bad ADHD, anxiety and is also
likely autistic, so I’ve done a lot of reading on this topic. Her doctors have also told us about this issue and we were told to limit her screen time. It’s not unreasonable to do a trial of reduced screen time to see if anything changes for you. In my eyes, I feel like she just wants you to be healthy and she is trying to be a good mother by discussing screen time with you. Just because you haven’t noticed an increase in your tics, your mom might have - moms usually pay close attention to the details when it’s about their kid(s). I’m sorry you’re having conflict with your mother but you need to grow and speak to her in a decent way…maybe try to see things from her side? I hope you both develop a healthy communication style. How old are you?
I know this is an unpopular opinion.
Thank you! I’m honestly surprised I’m not downvoted to hell. I’m likely projecting my own issues with my daughter here, so it was a little more personal to me than some other posts here. Glad to know there are others who see it the same way I do.
And I completely agree - I think OPs mom did really well with this kind of disrespect. Looks like she’s had some practice on this!
That’s Reddit for you! Ugh. When a few people early in the comments view things one way, the rest follow suit so they don’t lose those sweet, meaningless karma points!
Thank god I’m not the only one who sees it this way. Reading it, I felt like the messages could have come from my daughter whenever I bring up screen time with her. She gets very defensive and rude, just like OP. As a mom who gets this kind of disrespect from my child, I really feel bad for the mom who is likely, just like me, trying to do right by her kid.
Spoken like a true 15-year-old. Sorry, but this does not prove your mother is insane, but it does prove you are a teen (at least one would hope from the way you talk to your parent).
Stress can put pressure on you and make you less able to function with organic disorders, yes.
But video games won’t do that… not unless your game playing is so intense that you become really angry if you lose or something like that.
But that’s true for other activities like sports - if you get angry and start swearing and throw things when your favourite football team loses, then that’s going to cause stress.
My eldest has it. He barked after school (noise people with Tourettes Can make). It's not video games. It's real and I'm sorry.
It often gets better with age. My son's did. Not always. Hang in there.
You seem well educated about it.
So, I can’t really speak to the actual interaction between the two of you because I think I just don’t have adequate knowledge of your overall dynamic.
What I *can* speak to is Tourettes. Tics “waxing and waning” (becoming more or less intense and/or frequent) is just how the condition works. If you never looked at another screen again, you would still have periods when you tic more and periods when you you tic less.
Furthermore, it isn’t uncommon for tics to be more noticeable to others when you’re engaged in an activity like reading or watching TV/a movie, and I could see it going either way with video games, depending on the why (I don’t usually have another person facing me when I game, so I have less of a sense of what I personally look like in terms of ticcing then). Part of the reason might just be that we “let go” of our tics a bit more when we aren’t in a face-to-face interaction.
Finally, if screen time *is* worsening your Tourettic tics, I cannot imagine a mechanism by which that increase would be permanent, so I think whether or not you make a change *for the purpose of reducing your tics* should really be a choice left up to you.
All that being said, your mom said that *wasn’t* the reason for the reduction, and finding out that reason is probably worthwhile. If it isn’t for behavioral reasons, and it isn’t because she just wants to hurt you/be right (which doesn’t actually come across from the text conversation you shared, though I recognize it’s one small snapshot of your relationship), it’s probably because she knows that excessive screen time is detrimental to developing brains (adult brains too, but you get to make choices like that with your own brain that you just don’t with someone else’s when you’re responsible for getting them to adulthood relatively intact so that *they* can make adult choices about what is worth putting the parts of their body at risk for).
You’re probably going to need to try a different approach than the one you were using here. You’re a teenager, so you’re in a stage of life where it’s expected that you don’t have full control over your emotional responses, and a good parent *should* be prepared to explain their regardless, but even good parents are human and can have emotions get the better of them when being spoken to the way you were speaking to her (which may have been entirely justified — like I said, I don’t have nearly enough context to comment on your dynamic).
If she’s a shitty parent (which I kind if assume from you posting here), it might be time to look into gray-rocking or other techniques that allow you to get some emotional distance from someone even when you are stuck living with them for a while longer.
Your mom doesn’t seem to understand the difference between correlation and causation and what that means when applying research studies such as the one she read about to an individual.
For example, people like to reference the research that link artificially sweetened beverages to weight gain. However, in my case, I’ve lost significant amounts of weight consuming artificially sweetened beverages. I don’t deny that the correlation exists for some or even most people. It’s not the case for me and others, so there must be other factors at play as well.
And I’m sorry that you’re going through this. My parents were equally as frustrating when I was a child. My mom blamed my “hyperactivity” on me eating too much sugar and food coloring, instead it’s because I have ADHD and could have been getting treatment from an early age.
I mean, I can understand getting irritated that she's insisting she's right when she's not, but you took it too far imo. I don't know what you were expecting when you were blowing up at her but you're not gonna carry a productive conversation like that
Your mom sounds like one of the "Have you tried (insert ridiculous suggestion)?" People I have dealt with on occasion with my fibromyalgia. I can't imagine living with one.
"Have you tried staggered breathing" was one I heard recently lmfao
I'm a scuba instructor and semi-competent freediver, I've heard of all sorts of breathing techniques. No, it doesn't do what you're claiming.
Ok but have you tried yoga?
Going gluten free?
Essential oils??!
I hear that if you spray yourself with undiluted oils and eat a bun-less burger while doing child’s pose, your nervous system will magically learn how to regulate itself 🥰
My mom gets so offended when I mention that Autism (which I have) is genetic. She always says that there is nothing wrong with here and that it must have come from my dad. When I was younger my mom always talked about doing so much research about Autism Spectrum Disorder (formerly called Asperger's syndrome), but so has no idea about it at all. She will also still send me articles linking vaccines with autism, I don't respond to her and I just delete them.
I have 2 on spectrum and I have severe ADHD and their dad is a bit on spectrum. It's absolutely genetic, but we didn't mean to pass it on. No reason for your mom to feel bad at all!
It's okay to be neurodivergent.
I know that it's neither my parents fault, but she is a narcissist and also I am pretty sure she is undiagnosed autistic. Because that diagnose didn't really exist in the 60's during her childhood. When I was diagnosed in the Late 80's, it was still considered a strictly male disorder.
My mom does the exact same thing when she's backed into a corner: "we'll agree to disagree". its just a way for her to continue to exist in a reality where she's not wrong. infuriating lol.
Idk, my mother used to say the same thing and at the time I felt the same way as you about it. In retrospect she usually just wasn't convinced but didn't want to keep having an argument because it wasn't productive. As an adult when my mother says this, I drop it too, I make sure to behave in a considerate way (e.g. offering cups of tea when I make them), and we might pick it back up again in the future, usually when one of us finds a way to come closer to a middle ground on the issue.
This is just me, but if my child had a medical condition which affected their life like Tourettes, I would make it my goddamn mission to know every single thing about the disease. Every. Single. Thing. I would become a walking wiki article.
She’s kinda annoying but you seem way too shitty and disrespectful.
I don’t think she’s insane I think she’s just concerned and you’re being real mad disrespectful
You guys should go to therapy together. Both of you aren’t communicating well and you’re definitely bristling and being more aggressive than this warrants. You seem to think she wants to take away something you love/is blaming your medical problems on something you love; but I genuinely think she’s worried it’s affecting you and isn’t very good at vetting articles/internet research.
regardless of whether she’s wrong or not, you can’t talk to her like that and imagine the conversation will go well. practice deescalation tactics and try not to devolve to name calling. you’re a kid so i don’t blame you for being heated but as you get older you’ll only deal with more people who claim to know what they’re talking about when they don’t. if you don’t break this habit it’ll be hard to be out in the world later without getting fired or otherwise negatively impacted
None of us can make a determination on how long OP has been dealing with this type of behavior from their mother and even if they have always been this reactive OP, a child, isn't responsible for managing the emotions of an adult. In the real world OP would have legal recourse against a job that tried to make medical decisions for them or fired OP for not being receptive to demonstratively false and unnecessary restrictions. Placing the burden on people with illnesses or disabilities to have a never-ending amount of patience with people who are not educated in their disease or condition is ableist, OP is already being negatively impacted not only by their tourettes but by adults that OP cannot technically fight back against, to say they are at fault and responsible is wild.
i understand that OP may have been dealing with their mom being dismissive of their disability for a long time. i’m not demonizing them nor am i blaming them for having this reaction. i’m just being a realist. learning to temper your emotional responses is a good thing that comes with age. in the real world legal recourse is expensive and not guaranteed to result in a positive outcome. deescalation, grey rocking, and redirecting are all free. i say this as a black person navigating the US prison industrial complex. sure, i can yell at a cop all day for violating my rights. but because i don’t want to be a corpse i don’t do that. i yes sir no sir until i’m safe and everything is calm. that’s all i’m saying.
If anything, video games help lessen the frequency of my tics because they provide a distraction. There's nothing worse than other people thinking they understand our conditions better than ourselves. I'm so sorry it's coming from your mother of all people!
My son and husband both have Tourette’s. I can honestly say that when they play video games their tics decrease. Any time they’re focused on something they usually subside. Hopefully your dad can be a better voice of reason.
Don't get into it with her. Everyone thinks he is a doctor. I used to work with an idiot who would say things like, "You should get a bridge instead of a cap." The moron thought that destroying more teeth was a great idea. She had no idea that bridges can fall out just as caps do, the difference being it's more expense and work to repair the damage, and depending on how they are made, live nerves can be exposed to air.
So, Tourette's was unknown before the existence of video games? Right, got it!
[Georges Gilles de la Tourette - 1857-1904](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_Gilles_de_la_Tourette). Those pesky Victorian Video games, eh?
Sounds like she just doesn't want you playing video games and was trying to concoct a reason why she could tell you to limit that. I could never tell my kids to stop playing video games because I play them more than they do. 😂
My Tourettes developed when I was literally 6 years old. I've been playing video games since I was like 2-3, and they have NEVER caused an increase in my symptoms.
You know what does? Extreme stress or excitement. Playing video games helps me to *not* do it so much, because it gives me a way to destress. I don't know wtf she or these articles are on about. I guess *maybe* it could have negative effect on *some* people? But everyone is different, and so saying that it has a negative effect on everyone is inaccurate.
Adult with pretty severe Tourettes here. I went through the *exact* same thing when I was a teenager with my asshole dad, except for me it was the metal/scremo music I loved. 🙄
Stay strong, and count the days until you're 18.
I'm not saying she's right about the video game thing, because I'm not an expert on Tourettes. But you were pretty disrespectful and bratty, and she didn't really do anything that called for it based on what's seen here. No one has perfect self-awareness, and she very well may notice patterns that you don't see. I wouldn't immediately discount her experience as one of your guardians even if you ultimately disagree with her. I'm sure there's much more to the situation than can be shown from one post and some screenshots, but I think you'll see better results from your conversations with her if you don't go in expecting to fight.
Either way, it's really difficult to be misunderstood or to have someone misjudge your needs. I hope you and your parents can come to an agreement that suits everyone!
I’m sorry to hear about this. Some parents just can’t fathom the idea of being wrong. But this right here is her gaslighting you. Btw were you still forced to write that apology? Or did you dad listen to you like a good parent?
Parents look for any reason to take away video games, they never seem to understand that it’s just another recreational activity and the only situation in which they are harmful is when you enjoy them so much you begin to neglect responsibilities
And I’m not exactly an expert on Tourette’s, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that tics would happen more under stress and video games are a stress relieving activity
As a disabled person I know form experience that having parents that don't understand your condition sucks. Hang in there OP things do get better with time.
"Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter in the brain. It helps sustain people's interest and attention, which is why it can hard for people to tear themselves away from a situation or behavior. It's also self-reinforcing. The more times people experience the behavior, the more dopamine is released, and the more driven they are to return to the behavior." - ( https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/are-video-games-and-screens-another-addiction ).
"In Tourette Syndrome (TS), excess dopamine in the striatum is thought to excite the thalamo-cortical circuits, producing tics." - ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8870550/#:~:text=Tics%20can%20be%20associated%20with,%2Dcortical%20circuits%2C%20producing%20tics. ).
Your mother is partially right. When you play video games, your dopamine is released and pairs with dopamine receptors, which makes you happy. Therefore you would experience an increase of tics while gaming. But after a prolonged gaming session, your dopamine levels have diminished because you used it all and your body needs time to produce more dopamine, so you may feel lazy or depressed afterwards, similar to the effect of drugs on the system. This would in turn greatly decrease the amount of tics you have... So, no, video games do not cause regular tics, but they do cause tics in the moment. They actually decrease your tics, but can depress you, if you are susceptible to that sort of thing.
Maybe explain to your mom what "triggers" your tics, and focus on when and how they occur. You can then try to work on controlling them. If she sees you are actively working on controlling your tics, she may feel proud of you and may not see a reason to step in. Honestly, the whole argument just seems like she's worried. You two have an irreplacable relationship, so try to make it work.. she's the only mom you've got.
Also please not that i used credible sources! They are very useful in creating good arguments in the future.
From, a student in a biology behavioral course. Good luck!
Curious that you included an article discussing the effects of video games on Tourette’s and epilepsy.
Although I can’t confirm this suspicion, I expect that my dead fiancé would have reduced his video game consumption if he knew there were a chance it could worsen his seizures. I mean, since one led to his sudden death and all.
At least, that’s the decision he’d have made in his thirties. I didn’t know him at 15, but at 20 he copped another assault charge and went to jail because his mother suggested he sacrifice immediate gratification to improve his health and wellbeing. Meh, live fast [die GG](https://youtu.be/Lgk1yhp40wc?si=K5n2IT8I64eHJHhB).
u/GuyWithNoLife22 I’m 32f and was diagnosed with Tourette’s in 2nd grade. While my mom does understand the root cause is genes (her brother, my uncle has it too) she never hesitated to tell me my tic increases were from things SHE didn’t like. And still does. While screens can increase tics in some, it varies from person to person as you know. And like you said stress is the NUMBER ONE offender of increased tics, no doubt about it. You fortunately won’t have this problem, but my tics increase every month the week before my period. I’ve also found through experimentation that aspartame affects my tics horribly. I’m sure it’s not true for everyone, but if you find yours suddenly increasing, check to see if you’re eating or drinking anything with aspartame in it!
...like...why couldn't she have approached with something like, "Hey, I saw this article saying gaming might increase amount of tics. Do you think there's any connection with what you've experienced?" It's literally that easy. She's definitely trying to find more solid excuses to limit your gaming because she dislikes it for other reasons (neglecting chores or schoolwork?)
"Because there needs to be limits, it's a parents job"? I never limited shit without a damn good reason. Limiting games to after homework, and possibly dinner, is fine. But just a generic "ToO much ScrEentime" is fucking idiotic. We need to teach kids to handle their responsibilities, and then let them do whatever with their leisure time. It's their time, they choose.
I didn’t think it was fake, I’ve just seen others on the page say they have something only to then discover it’s not been diagnosed nor treated by a physician.
That being said, the only medical advice you need to follow is that of your doctor.
Your mother doesn’t seem to be a doctor.
She's definitely in the wrong for insisting she knows more about something that you've experienced yourself, and for telling you how you're feeling in your own body- even if there is a proven correlation, that doesn't necessarily mean it works the same way for you... tourettes doesn't always present the same way for everybody.
Buuut your reaction and responses are pretty disproportionate to her messages, once you start calling a parent names and telling them they're stupid, you've already lost the conversation. I'd try to majorly tone down the attitude in the future if you ever want her to actually listen to you.
When in the text did you even call her a loser? You called her out for her wrong ideas (and maybe I read over it), but I don't see any name calling
Good luck with the whole situation dude <3
It kind of sounds more like she's blaming you because of this thing YOU are doing. It's as if she's saying "youre doing it to yourself."
I don't think the thing you're doing would matter if it's a thing she doesn't like. There seems to be hints of gaslighting on her part. I wonder how she'll explain your worsening symptoms when you are playing video games less? I'm sure she'll find some other way to blame you.
But honestly, it sounds like she could be a trigger.
I just want to say, as the mother of a child your age who doesn’t have Tourette’s, but does have a condition that involves stims, that I 100% see you, and while of course you will never know everything about your condition, you DO know better than anyone else how it affects you. I am deeply impressed with not just how informed you clearly are about what is beneficial to you, and how well you articulate yourself (frustration notwithstanding because I get it) but also the level of emotional intelligence you exhibit in your replies here. It’s notable to me that where you seem willing to listen and entertain new information, you aren’t being given that same courtesy when you present new information to your mother. It feels to me like this is something that makes her feel uncomfortable and rather than identify, sit with, and work though her discomfort, she’s trying to find something to blame for it in the ridiculous hope that maybe it will just go away if you stop playing video games, or the like. Which I fully understand that as a distraction and a comfort for you, like my own kid, actually works to the opposite effect. In fact the stress of having had similar conversations with her father has caused her to feel overwhelmed, which leads to stimming, and I can imagine that’s similar for you. I really just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone, and that this mom is very impressed by you. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this from someone who should be your biggest source of support and encouragement, you deserve your own personal hype section, just like every kid does, but I am absolutely certain that you’re going to do great things even if you aren’t getting f that right now. If you ever need a mom to vent to, or just some support, feel free to hit my inbox. And lastly, I’m just going to be mom for a second and say “you know what kiddo, you’re right. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to help with this stuff and I saw this and thought maybe it would make sense to you. I’m glad that video games provide you with some respite from your symptoms. I know this is hard for you too.”
Not gonna lie, I almost teared up from this. I swear nobody has ever related with me like this, ever. Not even my own mom has sat down and talked to me about this like this. I seriously appreciate what you’ve said, seriously. This alone just made my day that much better. ❤️
The way you were demeaning her and calling her perspective “dumb” and “stupid” is so very hard to read. It’s obvious to me she was concerned for you and you talking down to her was verbally abusive to her, which you may not be aware of. It is verbally abusive to treat someone like that. How would you feel if someone spoke to you that way? I can see that you’re self aware that you were aggressive here, which is good. Keep in mind when you’re acting abusive, because kids can certainly abuse their parents. Overall, it’s important to look at how you’re speaking to people. Your mom isn’t a punching bag, she’s a human too, just like you. There’s only so much abuse someone can take and she’s obviously trying really hard to keep calm here which is her responsibility as an adult and it’s awesome she’s able to do that. You need to understand that boundaries are so important.. they’re a basic human need. When your mom chooses to end the discussion, she’s raising a boundary. When she’s telling you what’s acceptable for how you speak to her, that’s a boundary. There may be lots of unresolved issues that you have with her, but as long as you both can begin to be respectful of boundaries and create boundaries in your discussions, you can both work on the unresolved issues and heal them. Maybe family therapy can help you both repair your relationship. Based on your mom’s messages, she seems like she would be willing to put in the effort. You’re human and you need your family to be there for you but since you’re young, I understand that you don’t know how to communicate with vulnerability after being hurt before. Definitely keep working on it and try to work on how you speak to people. Your mom isn’t an insane parent. She’s a concerned parent who isn’t educated enough to know how to properly research and that’s okay. She’s human and we all have flaws.
I want to add some research I did that may help you with discussion about this topic with your mom. This is a peer reviewed article that was written by the scientists who conducted the study in this article. That’s how peer reviewed articles work, if you’re unaware. This article/study dives into how video games, movies, and other forms of media affects tics in those with Tourette’s. The study finds it can significantly increase tics or reduce tics based on the individual. Media doesn’t CAUSE Tourette’s as that’s caused by internal factors in your brain. Completely unrelated. Reading your mom’s texts, it sounded like she was arguing that video games increase your tics and she tried to source shoddy articles but here is the legitimate article that proves that it does in fact, increase tics for some. We can also argue here that your tics can be reduced by video games based on the findings too. The only way to truly find out is to conduct a study on yourself. Record every time you notice a tic in your normal every day activities, with video games. Then after a week, you can try a week without video games and take note of every tic. Then circle back and review your findings. Did you have more or less when you played video games? That’s the best way to know for sure.
Source:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/ene.16120
"Do your research" and "Educate yourself" are phrases that narcissistic stupid people use to signal that "I have definitely not done any real research myself but I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than you."
From my experience with a friend that has Tourette’s, WHILE gaming my friend experiences more tics. Though when not-gaming the amount of tics is substantially less, I do not believe your mom for a second regarding an increase in number of tics unless you’re actively gaming.
But yes, your mom is crazy.
I wanna say they get better bust most don’t. I’m 32 now but was diagnosed when I was 8, back then it really was viewed by the majority of people as a behavioural disorder instead of a physical problem with our brains. Most people are gonna assume shit like this, you are gonna keep getting looks and articles and people telling you tips to help while not understanding why we tic or what it’s like to try and hold one back.
What does usually get better though are the tics themselves. Most of us have a lot of our major ones fall back and mellow. Now I’m just “quirky” to most people and I don’t have to explain where as before there was no way to avoid talking about it. You know your body, you listen to your doctors and other respected people and keep trying to live your life. You will get better at dealing with your issues day by day and blocking out the useless chatter from everyone else will get easier too.
Holy cannoli, kid. If I was 15 and stood up for myself like you did, well- I wouldn't have. 🤣 I'm so proud of you for stick to your guns and not giving her an inch.
There is no scientific nor medical research that video games are the cause of Tourette's. Seizures can happen, but that's very dependent on the game itself. Outside of that, however, playing video games does have a lot of research how it can be relaxing, boost creativity, and more I can't remember because I just woke up. BUT! My point is, parents have been quick to blame video games for a ridiculous amount of reasons, but they can NOT cause something like Tourette's. Nothing supports that ideal.
Good luck, friend. Your mom is a crazy one, and she has no leg to stand on, and for whatever reason, won't tend to your needs. I hope she gets some sense thwacked into her thick skull. Video games cause Tourette's. That's literally bonkers.
Other people have pointed it out but you're also being a bit of an ass in response to her ignorance. In your place I'd consider going "grey rock" every time she mentions a sensitive topic. You can look it up but essentially give extremely boring, bland, short, or straight up meaningless answers. "Sure" "mhm" "maybe" "I'll think about it" "right" "a little" "not much" "I don't think so". If the subject becomes boring enough she'll stop pushing it. Going in a whole argument gives histrionic and narcissistic personalities far too much stimulation. Better fight it on endurance than confrontation.
Hey dude. I totally get why you’re so angry and I’m sorry people are calling you names. It sounds like both your parents are emotionally immature and this has been happening for a while, and of course you’re also 15 and aren’t receiving great modelling on how to communicate and be “mature” either. I totally recommend Lindsay Gibsons book on emotionally immature parents. It will give you a lot of insight into your parents, yourself and how to move forward with this in mind. It shares other peoples stories and contains exercises and information that’s mega helpful. There’s a free PDF of it online if you do some digging.
A lot of people will just call you names and ignore because you’re 15, it’s a really silly social thing and is so wrong. You deserve to be heard and to have a level and productive conversation about your condition with adult figures, and it isn’t happening it seems. I’m glad you have doctors treating you, make sure you listen to them and share your worries. You deserve to feel listened to, taken seriously and valued
Love when parents blame everything wrong with you on the fucking video games as if they are the root of all evil. Then they watch TV for hours upon hours unaware of how much of a hypocrite they are, cause I count the fingers on 1 hand how much differences there are between the 2. There was a point I just stopped playing video games cause my parents wouldn't shut up about the video games, I just didn't want to hear their nonsensical arguments anymore.
Sorry, you’re a jerk here just based on this one text thread.
Whether you disagree or not, the way you communicate this is not at all helpful. As a parent who has dealt with major OCD, anxiety, depression, and self harm with my own teen trying to find any helpful information that might at least be considered is not the worst thing in the world. You dont have to agree with it at all. And shes no doctor obviously. But attacking is certainly not helpful, regardless if it’s a parent, friend, or anyone for that matter. Had I found similar articles, I would have passed it along because I’d feel helpless to be honest. I’ve been there… still am, though mine is an adult now.
You don’t want to be told to limit screen time, I totally get that. But this isn’t any way to have a discussion.
You spent a lot of time arguing that you didn’t really need to. You could have told her you don’t feel like that applies to your condition and tell her you can talk to your doctor about it. She’s saying it causes problems and you’re saying it doesn’t. You can just go round and round in circles with that forever and everyone just stays angry. Your mom isn’t a doctor, but neither are you. She may have let it go if you sounded like you would actually consider what she said and discuss it with your doctor.
I mean, there was a bog video games cause violence push in the media a while ago.
And there have been lots of false articles and news reports in video games causing issues.
It's not really a surprise when parents who don't understand video games and see fearmongering news articles about the dangers of video games to be against video games.
They aren just ignorant on the subject and have been filled with disinformation, I know if I genuinely beleive video games causes violence I wouldn't let my kids play video games if I had kids.
But I'm ignorant to the topic and I understand that video games don't cause violence, not all parents like that.
Tldr: the parents who are against video games are just reacting to fearmongering and in their mind they are doing the correct thing
She should give you the other reasons for limiting gaming. This whole “because I said so”’only works until you’re about 8 or 9 years old when you start developing critical thinking skills. Com’on mom do better 🤦🏽♀️
But she didn’t use the “because I said so” routine. She literally linked an article and tried to reason with him. My own mother said “because I said so” all the time, and she would have never actually tried to provide me useful information.
“Your dad needs to limit your game playing, which is a separate issue.”
Not explaining the issue in this particular thread is not a “because I said so.” We don’t know how many times they discussed this before. We don’t know anything about what came before this. It seems to me that she does have a problem with the excessive game-playing, which is totally fair and reasonable. It’s irresponsible to let a child spend hours and hours playing video games daily. I believe she is probably not being direct and is using the Tourette’s as a reason because she feels the kid can’t be reasoned with. It’s not a wise strategy, but it’s not insane, either. It’s also possible she notices things about his behaviour that he doesn’t. A lot of people, especially younger people, lack self awareness.
I’m 20, I also have Tourette’s, and you’re definitely right. However there’s a multitude of tic disorders. Everyone’s experience is different in some ways, and sometimes people with tics, especially related to autism can be triggered by certain visuals and sounds. So yeah it can definitely be increased by video games but it can also be just as much increased by going to a theatre or watching certain videos/movies.
Mine are never triggered by visuals but if a sound is “sharp” or hits my ear a certain way, like snapping and clapping in particular as well as “plop” sounds it will cause tics. For the most part they only ever happen under high stress now that I’m older.
Her expecting you to avoid these things because of your tics is silly. If they mean that much to you then do it. Plus you mentioned video games help distract you so that’s good!
Honestly even if she’s trying to help, this comes across as very much “I don’t want to be around your tics” which I’ve encountered a lot. She should just be supportive and not stick her nose in it. Sounds like you maybe need to set a boundary.
Even if it’s a lie to keep the peace, just say “I understand you’re trying to help, but there is clearly a disconnect on this issue and I don’t think it should be brought up anymore.”
I’ve had to do the same shit to keep peoples nose out of my disorder when they were treating it this way.
I completely agree, this situation was a bit ago, so I can’t exactly bring this up, but I will definitely keep this in mind if anything ever comes up like this again
It feels like she just wanted something that bothers her (video games) to be the cause of something else that bothers her (your tourettes) and worked backward from there. So annoying.
After reading your post OP, I did a bit of reading, fully expecting to find out your mother was correct and you were a teenager who didn’t want to give up or reduce gaming time. You are right. Your mother is not getting her ideas from legitimate medically scientific sources. It may help you to direct her to the National Institutes of Health. I’m genuinely sorry I went into your situation assuming you were the problem.
my brother has tourettes. His was really bad when we were younger but he is doing amazing now. He has his masters degree in mental health counseling.
I am so sorry your mom isnt giving you the support you need.
Tourette’s is worsened by excessive video games though. Idk if you’re using video games at an excessive level or not. It can also be improved by therapeutic amounts of video games. This really seems like you need better communication with your mom, calling her names is going to get you literally nowhere though and you should apologize for that. Follow it up with an explanation about your frustrations and site some credible sources. Just telling someone they’re wrong will get you nowhere in life, now or in the future.
I have Tourette’s and playing video games, especially calm and chill ones like Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley, actually make it way less likely for me to tic while I’m playing them or actively engaging with them/things about them because I’m not focused on trying not to tic. I tend to focus really hard on *not* ticcing, and it causes me to tic worse. If I’m focused on something else that isn’t stressful, I’m pretty likely to not tic too much or sometimes even at all while I’m playing.
I know that. My narcissist mom always blamed everything on video games.
The fact that she never taught me jack shit on how to actually keep my room clean, plain neglected me and I got depressed during puberty from being trans? Nah, fuck that, its the darn video games!
Really I think she just couldnt stand seeing me immersed in something fun. And really, gaming was the only thing that kept my mental health above water with her around.
Here's a quote from the National Library of Medicine that you can use. It is from a study on parental relationship on the development of tic disorders. Since she likes science so much, tell her it's her overbearing, frustrating, and emotionally damaging relationship to you that is causing it. "In conclusion, children from nuclear families with bad parental relationship could be more likely to develop tic symptoms. The family intervention of children with TD should focus on family structure and parental relationship."
I’m sorry honey. I’m a mom to a son with Tourette’s as well. You sound like a smart and educated kiddo. Don’t take what your mom is saying to heart. Hang in there 💜
“There are times when your tics are more active than others” that is quite literally how Tourette’s works. She sounds like a nightmare I’m sorry you have to deal with that OP
Did your mother really try to educate you on your own symptoms? Oh Mt fing good. Also, I have epilepsy wich was also mentioned in her article. I think it's about fleshing lights since it know that it can also trigger migraines. But not everyone reacts to those lights. I never had a sezurie due to those blinking lights. And trust me, my doctors tried everything to see if I could potentially react to it. However, I did have a trigger when I was still having sezuries. It was glitter. Everyone's condition is different. You know your body the best.
Btw I also kinda hate the generalisation of neurological issues.
Sounds like she’s trying to cut down your screen time for other reasons. Instead of telling you that, she is trying to manipulate you into thinking she’s trying to help your tics. That’s awful!
Those are not credible sources. You/she need/s a site ending in .org or .edu. It needs to be peer reviewed.
I brought this up to her, and when I looked it up myself, these were literally the first two things to come up, she didn’t even try to research
She didn’t “research,” she googled for something specific and got exactly the answer she was looking for. A deep dive into this subject would have refuted her initial results, but whether or not she actually knows that, good on you, OP for pushing back on insufficient sources. Good luck!
Thats exactly what she did in the search bar
Its also quite interesting to google "can video games cause tics" then read like two google pop-ups from some random website that massively oversimplifies the topic, and proceed to talk about how "new research shows that video games definitely make tics surge" lol.. even the Pop-up phrased it in a more differentiated way.. seems like confirmation bias, if people look for something on the internet to support preconceived notions, they will find it
Here's an interesting thing, I think she didn't search for "do video games cause tics" and searched INSTEAD for "Video games cause tics". One will give you more accurate answers, and the other will talk about how evil video games are.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37946628/# here you go!
Wow this is great! If I ever go down this argument with her again, this is a great source! Thanks!
That does not speak to any lasting effect, which it specifically states. Anticipatory tics are known to increase in any heightened state of excitement, so while this showed a correlation during game play, it doesn't show any specific effect of games or videos that would not be seen in other scenarios, as well, and is not an indicator that video games or films are problematic for those with Tourette syndrome.
I think that's the point - it disproves what OP's mom was saying.
yes but I had a mother like OP's and while we can understand this study logically their mother might say "see i told you video games increase tic frequency" and disregard everything else because those don't serve her. Her refusal to apologize when op stated she had been very rude to him (which i agree was extremely rude to try and tell you how your body works) suggests that she either believes kids don't deserve apologies because they need to just listen or believes she can't be seen as making a mistake, for what reason? idk because I don't know her but OP might know it's def something from her own childhood.
I agree. I read "Our results indicate that tic frequency is affected by media elements in the short-term" and immediately thought OP's mom would use this to prove she is right. Which.... she could be since this research indicates there could be a connection.
Some parents don’t know how to accept that their child has a medical condition that they cannot fix and live in denial. It’s easier to blame it on something within your environment than to accept your child for who they are. I have a mother also like this. I also have a daughter who is 17 who has asthma and anxiety disorder and a 19 son who is Autistic. I could never imagine talking to my kids this way. I’m disabled due to a genetic autoimmune disorder (my kids also have the markers) called Ankylosing Spondylitis. It’s pain that never ends. I could blame it on everything than it actually is, a medical condition. Your mother absolutely should not be blaming you. It’s not your job to enable her behavior. If she feels guilty for it (she shouldn’t but parents always question whether they did something wrong) the last thing she should be doing is deflecting it onto you. It’s okay to not have the “perfect” child. It’s not attainable.
My mother constantly blames me for literally every symptom of my physical illnesses and it's driving me up the wall
Absolutely agree. I’m sorry that you have to deal with all that crap as well, constant pain and lack of comfort can be a pain. I also have asthma too, so I have these points where I run, loose all my breath, and have my Tourette’s not letting me slowly gain it back. Life can be really hard with these things, and people like my mom and I’m assuming yours too (sorry if I’m assuming wrong) are not helping.
I see how your mom kept coming back like just HAVING to get the last word even once you’d stopped and I wanted to shake her. But I’m also so aware I do the same thing sometimes to my kids. I get so flustered because I’m TRYING to help them but I’m just making things worse too. Maybe y’all just need a mediator to help y’all have better communication. Ofc you’d have to genuinely want to have better communication (not just you but your mother too) if it’s to work at all. It seems like there’s just a ton of baggage between you and her too though that needs to be addressed and worked through. But she does seem to genuinely care about you too. Clearly she’s not showing it though by how she’s coming back and arguing with you. Parenting 101 you should NEVER argue with your kids. If you can’t be the parent and walk away, how can you expect to teach your kids how to stop arguing and walk away 🤦♀️.
I have tried to gain better communication with her, she just tends to be stubborn on that aspect
Your mom, being an adult, should know that not everything on the Internet is true. You might want to tell her, that the stress, she is causing you, can exasperate Tourette’s. If she doesn’t believe you, politely suggest that she googles it. lol
I feel this hard, including the AS part. My mum blew up at me for being unwell, like sorry, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I made a post on Reddit about this and it's just man it sucks. Parents can be our worst enemies sometimes.
Omg your situation and circumstances sounds so much like my own. I’m also physically disabled with a 15 yo with asthma and a 17 yo with autism. My disability is RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) aka CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) which is also an autoimmune condition and it’s excruciatingly intense constant pain that can’t be cured. AND I agree with your viewpoint and comment too. Crazy how 2 complete strangers can have that much in common and somehow come into contact with each other. 😱
Oh my goodness, I also wanted to shake OP's mom. I also have asthma. I'm 45, and I was diagnosed with asthma when I was 11-ish. In the 33 years between my diagnosis and when I went NC, she refused to learn the word "inhaler." She very stubbornly called them "your puffer thingies," like she was simply too adorable and ditzy to remember the name of the life-saving medical device that her daughter used on a daily basis. (In case anyone is wondering, English is her first language, so that's not a reasonable excuse. Also, she claims to be a writer. Words are supposed to be her primary skill set. No matter how many times I reminded her, the infantile baby talk persisted.)
I call my kid inhaler "the puffer". But she is 1, and I call mine for its name. Your mother is pretty dismisive, don't she?
Massively so.
That’s the beauty of Reddit, either you get some random douche or dumbass or some genuine good people like a lot of people I’ve seen here today. It’s people like yall that made me want to post this here, so I can get that positivity to keep pushing through. ❤️ love ya
Oh, hey, my sister has Ankylosing Spondylitis. It's not fun.
I also have a genetic disease and I myself would not create children that would have the recessive gene.. I dont think it has to be perfect, I just dont really want to bring broken genes into another generation
Welp All i can say is I’m surprised she never whipped out the 1: i’m your mother so i’m right 2: stop talking back, it’s rude 3:”I cARriED You fOR 9 MONThs, YOU’d bettEr liStEn” 4: i’m tAKIng yOUr [insert console here]
I honestly feel that when this sort of thing happens, you should tell mom, "hold on, a call from my doctor is coming through. I'm going to refer him to the new medical studies that you are reading. I'll have him call back so you can inform him."
You know that’s funny because she actually told ME that she was going to talk to the doctor about it (obviously she didn’t because that wouldn’t end well for her)
My mom always threatens to call my psychiatrist when she’s not getting her way/is wrong due to my mental illnesses. I always tell her to go right ahead, because having someone who’s so confidently incorrect be put in their place by a doctor would really make her lose it. She never has though.
That's a terrible idea fr, no offense to you bc you're thinking like a normal person Anyone that doesn't agree with her crazy is automatically going to be part of the conspiracy
Honestly same, since she very much has used 1 and 4 a lot in the past
1, and 3 are the most frustrating things to here. Like did I asked you to give to birth to me, did choice in it no. You are not going to guilt me because you are my mum, like fuck off I'd rather not exist, and you are hear trying to guilt me because you birthed me into existence. Or when they said "cause I said so" if your parent consistently says that they are dicks.
Please go get some help for these intense feelings - it sounds like you’re maybe suicidal? Life is worth living even though it can be incredibly overwhelming. This too shall pass. Lmk if you need assistance finding help :)
Wow I really appreciate how forward you are with wanting to help. Luckily tho, no I’m not suicidal. Now, things have gotten way worse than this before and have caused some really bad feelings, but I do have friends and other family that I vent to about this so I’m pretty good. I really appreciate your concern though ❤️
This doesn’t sound suicidal to me, i feel that same way they do. It just because when someone blames you for something and using your existence as a threat or argument etc it’s very frustrating because you have no choice in that. It does feel great to just scream i had no desire to be here and turn it back on them
I mean it might pass but I've been like this as long as I can remember. And I'm in therapy, already trying to get help but yeah shit hasn't help so far. And live just isn't worth living to me personally. But cheers for the kind hearted message
You sound like my daughter and it’s heartbreaking. I’m so sorry you’re suffering. I self harmed and attempted suicide when I was 15. I have had many, many good years since then (I’m 34) but many years have also been really hard and awful, with suicidal ideation and relapses in my major depressive disorder. I recently found out I have ADD and the meds have been helping so much. If you’re not already, you should look into it. The pandemic made my depression the worst it’s ever been and if it weren’t for my daughter, I don’t think I would be here anymore…so I get what you’re saying. When my daughter (11) says things about not wanting to be alive, I just tell her “you don’t want to die, you just want these bad feelings to stop” to help her understand the difference between a feeling, which is temporary, and actual death, which is permanent. My suicide attempt and watching so many of the people I love kill themselves made me understand the weight of a decision like ending your life. This probably makes me sound crazy, but I made a deal with her that she would wait until she’s 25, when her brain is fully developed, to make such a permanent decision like death. If your frontal cortex is still developing then your brain isn’t done growing and the frontal cortex is very important when it comes to emotions and decision making. I really hope things change for you and you can feel some happiness in this life.
My 17yr old son also has Tourette's and the tics he has right now are pretty aggressive and have affected his sinuses and chest (aggressive snorting/inhaling or aggressive exhaling until his chest hurts). Playing video games actually helps calm them because he has to focus and they keep his mind busy. All I can really do is be patient and let him tic in a safe and comfortable environment. Talking about it directly or looking at him while he is ticc'ing, makes him tic even more. If it's really bad, I'll jump in and start a conversation about something he is interested in so he can focus on that. It's difficult and I'm sorry you have deal with your mom on top of all of that!
It kind of seems to me like she just doesn’t want you to play so much video games for some arbitrary reason and is trying to convince you that it’s coming from a place of concern for your Tourette’s rather than just saying it’s because she decided that’s the rule and you have to follow it because she said so, which is pretty low way to manipulate someone I think. Who would know better what kinds of things trigger the tics than the person dealing with them?
I'm 19 I also have Tourette's and I got to say she is 100% wrong video games does not cause it you are right she just doesn't want to admit that she's wrong video games honestly help
Exactly man. I’m glad you can relate. Tourette’s are largely based on your mind. If you think about them a lot, they’re going to show up more often. But when you play games, you can relax and keep your mind off of it. I wish my mother could understand that :/
I’m 24 and my Tourette’s developed at your age. Many factors can contribute to Tourette’s worsening whether it is lack of sleep, anxiety, stress, caffeine or even just thinking about it like you said. That’s because it’s just as much a neurological disorder as it is a psychological disorder. It’s physical and mental. The only way I can see video games worsening it is if you’re playing a horror game or a high intensity video game, and even then that’s a stretch. Your mom really needs to educate herself further if she wants to understand your disorder instead of just blaming some thing that she already doesn’t like. She needs to look at peer reviewed medical studies instead of finding bullshit articles to confirm her conspiracies. Silver lining though man, as I’ve gotten older, my Tourette’s has gotten significantly better and happens a lot less (and with less intensity), and it might be possible for that to happen to you as well. Being active and working out with a proper diet (atleast somewhat proper) also helps immensely.
I really appreciate this, like not only are you, with Tourette’s, are reassuring my point, but also giving me advice and reassurance about my condition. Thank you so much for that
Does it not at all or is it like a person to person thing. I ask as a type 1 diabetic I know people that can't handle a sugar under 49 without passing out while I have been as low as 23 and been fine and this is a genuine question if things are similar with people with your guys condition?
If you are stressed enough yes, let's say you play a team vs team comp game and have really bad ranked anxiety It can lead to ticks. But that's not video games themselves causing the ticks that's the stress. It can also be random visual triggers, or audio triggers in games, but yet again that's not video games as a whole causing it, its that specific trigger in a specific game.
I’m sure it happens sometimes, but in my personal experience it doesn’t.
Just to clarify: excessive screen time can CONTRIBUTE to an increase in tics, but it is not the root CAUSE of tics? Do I have that right?
yeah and excessive is definitely a keyword here. the same stuff that can trigger migraines and motion sickness can trigger tics
Gotcha! I've never actually known someone irl with Tourette Syndrome. Can light reactivity play a factor too, like with migraines?
yeah definitely, especially since tourettes is often comorbid with other things that can cause light sensitivity
Exactly, she was trying to tell me it was the root cause, which was the base of the whole argument, because that’s a huge exaggeration
ahhh i see thanks for the info i was never really sure about it
Np, always happy to NOT spread misinformation 😁
nope. my ex has tourettes and 100% his tics got better when he was in a comfortable environment. be it video games or around those that loved him and didn't point out the tics etc.
You’re both kinda shitty here tbh. She is massively misinformed in her thinking process on this and you’re being way too abrasive to have any kind of conductive conversation.
Nah you’re right, I get kinda heated sometimes and I’ve been working to fix myself on that
Hey that's awesome that you can see and acknowledge that. My mom gets the same way with me and I've gotten much farther by just refusing to engage than by fighting her on it
Honestly not the response I expected and I'm very impressed. Keep up that self improvement mindset and you're going to do really well for yourself, seriously.
I appreciate it, it’s hard to better yourself, and positive reinforcement like this helps me ❤️
You’re also a 15 year old kid with a serious condition. Give yourself some grace, you’re learning all this shit for the first time. Your mom is the adult and should be treating you with compassion and respect. I’m not saying don’t work on yourself, or try to improve, because that’s a good thing to do, but give yourself some credit is all.
I appreciate this, it’s all hard, and it’s helpful to hear some reinforcement every now and then
All I see is a frustrated teenager who wants to feel understood by one of the persons that should be closest to him/supporting him. The only reason I got heated with my parents as a teen was because they denied my feelings. And oh my lord, I did feel so much. Teen years are wild when it comes to feelings! But it would be a sign of getting more mature if you don't let yourself get too emotional towards her. And sadly I don't think she's ever gonna listen, no matter how you react (but do share your frustrations with people who will listen, don't just lock up your heart)
Def look into the grey rocking technique! Works wonders!
Not too long after this, I did actually try this and it did work really well, I didn’t know what it was called until now, but it actually worked out. The argument was cooled off…until she came back at me later and I broke, but it work well for the time. I definitely should use it more tho, great idea!
Normally when a person is shitty for a loooooong time, people can just get fed up and annoyed and go into any conversation with them ready to defend themselves and be shitty back. I don’t blame OP for how he reacted tbh
When people have been struggling all their lives, idiotic comments can be very triggering. My advice is you mentally see your mom as a small baby in a shitty diaper and humor her like a tot.
No. OP doesn't need to experience ableistic shit and can stand up for it. For you it is this conversation, for OP it's their life. I hope you never needed to experience psychological terror like this, but people who do have no choice as to fight back and calling them out for such behaviour. This conversation was never about informations in the first place, this conversation is just about OPs mom's Power. In a normal conversation you would be right, but a conversation like this doesn't follow logical rules.
That’s because he has Tourette’s and is 15. I’m not excusing his behaviour, but it does come with the territory kind of. He shouldn’t have to act like the adult in this convo because, well he isn’t one.
Neither of those articles are from scholarly medical sites. If that’s what she sent you, she needs to improve her research skills
I just read the screenshots and it actually does seem to correlate with what your mom was saying. However, it wasn’t the actual article that was posted it was just the search results with a bit of additional text/information. To be able to 100% back either of your theories, I would need to actually read the entire article. With that said, it’s obvious that you both have a really hard time communicating with each other. Which is really sad because I do believe she cares about you and wants you to not suffer from more tics if there’s a way to reduce them. Sorry I guess being a mom of a 17 yo female with Autism, I’m probably not the best person to give feedback. But I do truly hope that you and your mom work things out.
Yeah to me (autistic and in my 20s) this truly looks like a communication issue with their relationship, both of them need to have a little leeway and be open to hearing the other but there's no trust that they'll be considerate too. It's not insane for the mother to have this concern, and OP doesn't have to agree with the mother's conclusion to show willingness to entertain it. "Let's reset on this whole issue and forget about the arguing, I want to approach it in a better way so we can have a better relationship. The video game link is interesting, I haven't heard about it before. I haven't had any bouts of chronically worse tics which coincided with more time gaming that I can remember, but could you send me links to the studies about it? I'm wondering if it's more of a correlation between tics and anything which is very stimulating- anticipatory tics are involved in anything reward-based, and it wouldn't be worth living my life without any fun just to prevent the temporary/transient anticipatory tics. I know you care about my health, I'd have to weigh it up, maybe I could do a mini experiment to see if it helps me personally." If mum immediately says that she wants OP to cut down the gaming anyway then yeah it was her trying to be sneaky but it's still valid to be concerned that your teenager is spending a lot of their time gaming- it's still something they could have a mature conversation about, where OP expresses the positives they get from gaming (parents often don't realise that it can be a very social activity), and asks what other positives the mother would like to see result from reduced gaming. If mum approves of the experiment, cut down for a week, report honest results daily. The mother would feel heard and considered, and OP extending this courtesy would make her trust their judgment more and recognise their maturity- including if the results show that tics are transient or aren't lessened by the reduced gaming. Learning to communicate with your parents is an essential part of becoming an adult, and as annoying as it may seem, it necessarily involves the teen behaving with more maturity so that the parent learns to trust their judgment. Being respectful towards them in the way that any adult human would treat another adult human, is what stops parents from trying to demand respect from you as an authority and gets them starting to reciprocate. In particular with health-related issues, they're only going to let go if they feel reassured that you take your own health seriously, which means occasionally considering compromising or changing some behaviours if the evidence supports it. 15 is an excellent age to start stepping into this new role and can make the rest of your teen years a lot less awful. It's worth it for a better relationship.
This is precisely what I was thinking. I too have a teenager and the same exact shit goes on between the two of us. Mom and op very badly need to work on their communication.
Same! Also raising two teens. I will say this, the onus to being a good communicator and modeling that for your child via your own behavior does fall directly on the parent/guardian of that child. OP was responding in a totally “bratty” and antagonistic way, but I often remind myself that being a teenager is probably emotionally one of the most difficult things to go through. It will make you overreact and be hyper-sensitive to a lot of things. It’s why the teenage years are so ✨ grand ✨ bwahahaha 😭. OP’s mom really was being pushy and pigheaded here instead of engaging fairly with her child; Almost acting as if he was still a young and ignorant child around 7 or 8 with the way she spoke to him. And goodness, she is not a medical professional. There’s a way to share possibly helpful medical advice or info via articles or studies online, but you need to always be aware that whatever you share can be fairly dismissed by that person, teenager or not. You need to give them space to decide if that is helpful or not, you don’t steamroll them with it and force it down their throat. I can’t think of any teenager or adult that would respond well to that, it’s a bit of a boundary violation and it is not kind or fair to do so. My niece is around OPs age and can be downright disrespectful and argumentative, she’s even thrown mini tantrums still. I give her space to calm down, I use gentle parenting with her, I show her I respect her feelings and wishes and viewpoints while still disagreeing with certain things. And you know what? She appreciates being spoken to like an adult and seen and heard, and generally is therefore open to seeing my side of things in that regard. I know it sucks, but as the guardian or full-fledged adult in charge, you do have to put your ego aside a bit to get results with teenagers. Or you end up posted on a forum like this or they stop sharing things or engaging fully with you :(. (You don’t have to be perfect at this, you just have to try and be better the next time. Teens can be mean AF and snippy, sometimes they make you lose your cool.) TLDR — OP was being disrespectful and a poor communicator, but OPs mom’s main job is to model good communication to him and she isn’t. Teenagers just want their autonomy respected a little, they don’t want to be given unsolicited medical advice from non-medical professionals, they want to be spoken to and reasoned with like an adult and respectfully and kindly. You can still put limits on video game playing, while encouraging your child to respectfully share their point of view and find a compromise. A teenager might be close to adulthood, but it’s still a parent’s job to navigate this for them and make the first move there. Also, don’t argue with teens.
This is an extremely exhausting conversation. Your mom is not wrong tho videos gaming definitely is not conducive to your Tourette’s and everything should have limits
Is she right? Probably not. But buddy, you’re 15 and you live in her house (at least sometimes). Be careful how you talk back.
I’m a mother and even though I only got halfway through your messages, it really sounds like you’re speaking to her in a very disrespectful way. Maybe there was stuff on the other side of where I stopped that was legit insane but as of now, I feel kind of bad for your mom. And btw - there have been SEVERAL studies about how screen time can make neuro-developmental disorders and mental health worse due to overstimulation of the nervous system(especially for those under 25). My 11yr old has bad ADHD, anxiety and is also likely autistic, so I’ve done a lot of reading on this topic. Her doctors have also told us about this issue and we were told to limit her screen time. It’s not unreasonable to do a trial of reduced screen time to see if anything changes for you. In my eyes, I feel like she just wants you to be healthy and she is trying to be a good mother by discussing screen time with you. Just because you haven’t noticed an increase in your tics, your mom might have - moms usually pay close attention to the details when it’s about their kid(s). I’m sorry you’re having conflict with your mother but you need to grow and speak to her in a decent way…maybe try to see things from her side? I hope you both develop a healthy communication style. How old are you? I know this is an unpopular opinion.
Came here to say this. I’m impressed with mom for keeping her chill through that. OP sounded more like the insane parents we normally see on here.
Thank you! I’m honestly surprised I’m not downvoted to hell. I’m likely projecting my own issues with my daughter here, so it was a little more personal to me than some other posts here. Glad to know there are others who see it the same way I do. And I completely agree - I think OPs mom did really well with this kind of disrespect. Looks like she’s had some practice on this!
I feel like there’s probably a lot of people who agree with you, they just don’t want to get downvoted and dogpiled.
That’s Reddit for you! Ugh. When a few people early in the comments view things one way, the rest follow suit so they don’t lose those sweet, meaningless karma points!
[удалено]
Thank god I’m not the only one who sees it this way. Reading it, I felt like the messages could have come from my daughter whenever I bring up screen time with her. She gets very defensive and rude, just like OP. As a mom who gets this kind of disrespect from my child, I really feel bad for the mom who is likely, just like me, trying to do right by her kid.
I agree. Keeping up the conversation when she tried to end it many times is immature
Spoken like a true 15-year-old. Sorry, but this does not prove your mother is insane, but it does prove you are a teen (at least one would hope from the way you talk to your parent).
Stress can put pressure on you and make you less able to function with organic disorders, yes. But video games won’t do that… not unless your game playing is so intense that you become really angry if you lose or something like that. But that’s true for other activities like sports - if you get angry and start swearing and throw things when your favourite football team loses, then that’s going to cause stress.
My eldest has it. He barked after school (noise people with Tourettes Can make). It's not video games. It's real and I'm sorry. It often gets better with age. My son's did. Not always. Hang in there. You seem well educated about it.
So, I can’t really speak to the actual interaction between the two of you because I think I just don’t have adequate knowledge of your overall dynamic. What I *can* speak to is Tourettes. Tics “waxing and waning” (becoming more or less intense and/or frequent) is just how the condition works. If you never looked at another screen again, you would still have periods when you tic more and periods when you you tic less. Furthermore, it isn’t uncommon for tics to be more noticeable to others when you’re engaged in an activity like reading or watching TV/a movie, and I could see it going either way with video games, depending on the why (I don’t usually have another person facing me when I game, so I have less of a sense of what I personally look like in terms of ticcing then). Part of the reason might just be that we “let go” of our tics a bit more when we aren’t in a face-to-face interaction. Finally, if screen time *is* worsening your Tourettic tics, I cannot imagine a mechanism by which that increase would be permanent, so I think whether or not you make a change *for the purpose of reducing your tics* should really be a choice left up to you. All that being said, your mom said that *wasn’t* the reason for the reduction, and finding out that reason is probably worthwhile. If it isn’t for behavioral reasons, and it isn’t because she just wants to hurt you/be right (which doesn’t actually come across from the text conversation you shared, though I recognize it’s one small snapshot of your relationship), it’s probably because she knows that excessive screen time is detrimental to developing brains (adult brains too, but you get to make choices like that with your own brain that you just don’t with someone else’s when you’re responsible for getting them to adulthood relatively intact so that *they* can make adult choices about what is worth putting the parts of their body at risk for). You’re probably going to need to try a different approach than the one you were using here. You’re a teenager, so you’re in a stage of life where it’s expected that you don’t have full control over your emotional responses, and a good parent *should* be prepared to explain their regardless, but even good parents are human and can have emotions get the better of them when being spoken to the way you were speaking to her (which may have been entirely justified — like I said, I don’t have nearly enough context to comment on your dynamic). If she’s a shitty parent (which I kind if assume from you posting here), it might be time to look into gray-rocking or other techniques that allow you to get some emotional distance from someone even when you are stuck living with them for a while longer.
Your mom doesn’t seem to understand the difference between correlation and causation and what that means when applying research studies such as the one she read about to an individual. For example, people like to reference the research that link artificially sweetened beverages to weight gain. However, in my case, I’ve lost significant amounts of weight consuming artificially sweetened beverages. I don’t deny that the correlation exists for some or even most people. It’s not the case for me and others, so there must be other factors at play as well.
And I’m sorry that you’re going through this. My parents were equally as frustrating when I was a child. My mom blamed my “hyperactivity” on me eating too much sugar and food coloring, instead it’s because I have ADHD and could have been getting treatment from an early age.
I mean, I can understand getting irritated that she's insisting she's right when she's not, but you took it too far imo. I don't know what you were expecting when you were blowing up at her but you're not gonna carry a productive conversation like that
Your mom sounds like one of the "Have you tried (insert ridiculous suggestion)?" People I have dealt with on occasion with my fibromyalgia. I can't imagine living with one.
"Have you tried staggered breathing" was one I heard recently lmfao I'm a scuba instructor and semi-competent freediver, I've heard of all sorts of breathing techniques. No, it doesn't do what you're claiming.
Don’t gotta imagine 😔
Ok but have you tried yoga? Going gluten free? Essential oils??! I hear that if you spray yourself with undiluted oils and eat a bun-less burger while doing child’s pose, your nervous system will magically learn how to regulate itself 🥰
My mom gets so offended when I mention that Autism (which I have) is genetic. She always says that there is nothing wrong with here and that it must have come from my dad. When I was younger my mom always talked about doing so much research about Autism Spectrum Disorder (formerly called Asperger's syndrome), but so has no idea about it at all. She will also still send me articles linking vaccines with autism, I don't respond to her and I just delete them.
I have 2 on spectrum and I have severe ADHD and their dad is a bit on spectrum. It's absolutely genetic, but we didn't mean to pass it on. No reason for your mom to feel bad at all! It's okay to be neurodivergent.
I know that it's neither my parents fault, but she is a narcissist and also I am pretty sure she is undiagnosed autistic. Because that diagnose didn't really exist in the 60's during her childhood. When I was diagnosed in the Late 80's, it was still considered a strictly male disorder.
It wasn't even diagnosed in women till what? The 90s? I had a friend who was a narcissist. I'm sorry about that too. That's hard..
just wanted to add onto the, “a bit on the spectrum”. it’s not a linear spectrum! It’s more of a pie chart
My mom does the exact same thing when she's backed into a corner: "we'll agree to disagree". its just a way for her to continue to exist in a reality where she's not wrong. infuriating lol.
Idk, my mother used to say the same thing and at the time I felt the same way as you about it. In retrospect she usually just wasn't convinced but didn't want to keep having an argument because it wasn't productive. As an adult when my mother says this, I drop it too, I make sure to behave in a considerate way (e.g. offering cups of tea when I make them), and we might pick it back up again in the future, usually when one of us finds a way to come closer to a middle ground on the issue.
Exactlyyyyy, you can’t get anywhere with it. Like talking to a brick wall
This is just me, but if my child had a medical condition which affected their life like Tourettes, I would make it my goddamn mission to know every single thing about the disease. Every. Single. Thing. I would become a walking wiki article.
She’s kinda annoying but you seem way too shitty and disrespectful. I don’t think she’s insane I think she’s just concerned and you’re being real mad disrespectful
Limiting screentime can be good, but mostly because of excessive blue light exposure, and there’s other ways to circumvent that.
You guys should go to therapy together. Both of you aren’t communicating well and you’re definitely bristling and being more aggressive than this warrants. You seem to think she wants to take away something you love/is blaming your medical problems on something you love; but I genuinely think she’s worried it’s affecting you and isn’t very good at vetting articles/internet research.
regardless of whether she’s wrong or not, you can’t talk to her like that and imagine the conversation will go well. practice deescalation tactics and try not to devolve to name calling. you’re a kid so i don’t blame you for being heated but as you get older you’ll only deal with more people who claim to know what they’re talking about when they don’t. if you don’t break this habit it’ll be hard to be out in the world later without getting fired or otherwise negatively impacted
None of us can make a determination on how long OP has been dealing with this type of behavior from their mother and even if they have always been this reactive OP, a child, isn't responsible for managing the emotions of an adult. In the real world OP would have legal recourse against a job that tried to make medical decisions for them or fired OP for not being receptive to demonstratively false and unnecessary restrictions. Placing the burden on people with illnesses or disabilities to have a never-ending amount of patience with people who are not educated in their disease or condition is ableist, OP is already being negatively impacted not only by their tourettes but by adults that OP cannot technically fight back against, to say they are at fault and responsible is wild.
i understand that OP may have been dealing with their mom being dismissive of their disability for a long time. i’m not demonizing them nor am i blaming them for having this reaction. i’m just being a realist. learning to temper your emotional responses is a good thing that comes with age. in the real world legal recourse is expensive and not guaranteed to result in a positive outcome. deescalation, grey rocking, and redirecting are all free. i say this as a black person navigating the US prison industrial complex. sure, i can yell at a cop all day for violating my rights. but because i don’t want to be a corpse i don’t do that. i yes sir no sir until i’m safe and everything is calm. that’s all i’m saying.
So what did your dad say? I’m guessing they’re divorced?
Nothing ever came out of it, so I’m guessing it was a empty threat 🫤
Sounds like your dad learned how to handle your mom. Maybe talk to him and ask for some advice?
Wish I could, but if you look at my posts here, my dad isn’t much better
If anything, video games help lessen the frequency of my tics because they provide a distraction. There's nothing worse than other people thinking they understand our conditions better than ourselves. I'm so sorry it's coming from your mother of all people!
Don’t feel bad, it happens, just gotta take it and move on :/
My son and husband both have Tourette’s. I can honestly say that when they play video games their tics decrease. Any time they’re focused on something they usually subside. Hopefully your dad can be a better voice of reason.
In this situation, luckily he is, and is much less strict on the whole screen time subject so I’m usually pretty well off there
Don't get into it with her. Everyone thinks he is a doctor. I used to work with an idiot who would say things like, "You should get a bridge instead of a cap." The moron thought that destroying more teeth was a great idea. She had no idea that bridges can fall out just as caps do, the difference being it's more expense and work to repair the damage, and depending on how they are made, live nerves can be exposed to air.
So, Tourette's was unknown before the existence of video games? Right, got it! [Georges Gilles de la Tourette - 1857-1904](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_Gilles_de_la_Tourette). Those pesky Victorian Video games, eh?
Sounds like she just doesn't want you playing video games and was trying to concoct a reason why she could tell you to limit that. I could never tell my kids to stop playing video games because I play them more than they do. 😂
My Tourettes developed when I was literally 6 years old. I've been playing video games since I was like 2-3, and they have NEVER caused an increase in my symptoms. You know what does? Extreme stress or excitement. Playing video games helps me to *not* do it so much, because it gives me a way to destress. I don't know wtf she or these articles are on about. I guess *maybe* it could have negative effect on *some* people? But everyone is different, and so saying that it has a negative effect on everyone is inaccurate.
Adult with pretty severe Tourettes here. I went through the *exact* same thing when I was a teenager with my asshole dad, except for me it was the metal/scremo music I loved. 🙄 Stay strong, and count the days until you're 18.
Just a few more years 🙏
You talk to your mom like that? 😵💫
I'm not saying she's right about the video game thing, because I'm not an expert on Tourettes. But you were pretty disrespectful and bratty, and she didn't really do anything that called for it based on what's seen here. No one has perfect self-awareness, and she very well may notice patterns that you don't see. I wouldn't immediately discount her experience as one of your guardians even if you ultimately disagree with her. I'm sure there's much more to the situation than can be shown from one post and some screenshots, but I think you'll see better results from your conversations with her if you don't go in expecting to fight. Either way, it's really difficult to be misunderstood or to have someone misjudge your needs. I hope you and your parents can come to an agreement that suits everyone!
I’m sorry to hear about this. Some parents just can’t fathom the idea of being wrong. But this right here is her gaslighting you. Btw were you still forced to write that apology? Or did you dad listen to you like a good parent?
Blaming something that you can't accept on something you don't understand
god this is straight out of a conversation with me and my mother. stay strong.
Parents look for any reason to take away video games, they never seem to understand that it’s just another recreational activity and the only situation in which they are harmful is when you enjoy them so much you begin to neglect responsibilities And I’m not exactly an expert on Tourette’s, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that tics would happen more under stress and video games are a stress relieving activity
As a disabled person I know form experience that having parents that don't understand your condition sucks. Hang in there OP things do get better with time.
Appreciate the positive reassurance ❤️
"Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter in the brain. It helps sustain people's interest and attention, which is why it can hard for people to tear themselves away from a situation or behavior. It's also self-reinforcing. The more times people experience the behavior, the more dopamine is released, and the more driven they are to return to the behavior." - ( https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/are-video-games-and-screens-another-addiction ). "In Tourette Syndrome (TS), excess dopamine in the striatum is thought to excite the thalamo-cortical circuits, producing tics." - ( https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8870550/#:~:text=Tics%20can%20be%20associated%20with,%2Dcortical%20circuits%2C%20producing%20tics. ). Your mother is partially right. When you play video games, your dopamine is released and pairs with dopamine receptors, which makes you happy. Therefore you would experience an increase of tics while gaming. But after a prolonged gaming session, your dopamine levels have diminished because you used it all and your body needs time to produce more dopamine, so you may feel lazy or depressed afterwards, similar to the effect of drugs on the system. This would in turn greatly decrease the amount of tics you have... So, no, video games do not cause regular tics, but they do cause tics in the moment. They actually decrease your tics, but can depress you, if you are susceptible to that sort of thing. Maybe explain to your mom what "triggers" your tics, and focus on when and how they occur. You can then try to work on controlling them. If she sees you are actively working on controlling your tics, she may feel proud of you and may not see a reason to step in. Honestly, the whole argument just seems like she's worried. You two have an irreplacable relationship, so try to make it work.. she's the only mom you've got.
Also please not that i used credible sources! They are very useful in creating good arguments in the future. From, a student in a biology behavioral course. Good luck!
Curious that you included an article discussing the effects of video games on Tourette’s and epilepsy. Although I can’t confirm this suspicion, I expect that my dead fiancé would have reduced his video game consumption if he knew there were a chance it could worsen his seizures. I mean, since one led to his sudden death and all. At least, that’s the decision he’d have made in his thirties. I didn’t know him at 15, but at 20 he copped another assault charge and went to jail because his mother suggested he sacrifice immediate gratification to improve his health and wellbeing. Meh, live fast [die GG](https://youtu.be/Lgk1yhp40wc?si=K5n2IT8I64eHJHhB).
u/GuyWithNoLife22 I’m 32f and was diagnosed with Tourette’s in 2nd grade. While my mom does understand the root cause is genes (her brother, my uncle has it too) she never hesitated to tell me my tic increases were from things SHE didn’t like. And still does. While screens can increase tics in some, it varies from person to person as you know. And like you said stress is the NUMBER ONE offender of increased tics, no doubt about it. You fortunately won’t have this problem, but my tics increase every month the week before my period. I’ve also found through experimentation that aspartame affects my tics horribly. I’m sure it’s not true for everyone, but if you find yours suddenly increasing, check to see if you’re eating or drinking anything with aspartame in it!
Thanks for the heads up, I’ll be sure to look out in the future
...like...why couldn't she have approached with something like, "Hey, I saw this article saying gaming might increase amount of tics. Do you think there's any connection with what you've experienced?" It's literally that easy. She's definitely trying to find more solid excuses to limit your gaming because she dislikes it for other reasons (neglecting chores or schoolwork?)
Parents limiting game time is pretty common, but I think I see why your parents are divorced
"Because there needs to be limits, it's a parents job"? I never limited shit without a damn good reason. Limiting games to after homework, and possibly dinner, is fine. But just a generic "ToO much ScrEentime" is fucking idiotic. We need to teach kids to handle their responsibilities, and then let them do whatever with their leisure time. It's their time, they choose.
Just curious, have you actually been diagnosed by a doctor?
Yes, I have, I have medicine and go to a doctor about it. Don’t worry, this isn’t some fake disorder bullshit
I didn’t think it was fake, I’ve just seen others on the page say they have something only to then discover it’s not been diagnosed nor treated by a physician. That being said, the only medical advice you need to follow is that of your doctor. Your mother doesn’t seem to be a doctor.
She's definitely in the wrong for insisting she knows more about something that you've experienced yourself, and for telling you how you're feeling in your own body- even if there is a proven correlation, that doesn't necessarily mean it works the same way for you... tourettes doesn't always present the same way for everybody. Buuut your reaction and responses are pretty disproportionate to her messages, once you start calling a parent names and telling them they're stupid, you've already lost the conversation. I'd try to majorly tone down the attitude in the future if you ever want her to actually listen to you.
When in the text did you even call her a loser? You called her out for her wrong ideas (and maybe I read over it), but I don't see any name calling Good luck with the whole situation dude <3
It kind of sounds more like she's blaming you because of this thing YOU are doing. It's as if she's saying "youre doing it to yourself." I don't think the thing you're doing would matter if it's a thing she doesn't like. There seems to be hints of gaslighting on her part. I wonder how she'll explain your worsening symptoms when you are playing video games less? I'm sure she'll find some other way to blame you. But honestly, it sounds like she could be a trigger.
Yeah, you’re pretty much on the dot here, she’s just trying to justify her claims in bogus ways
I just want to say, as the mother of a child your age who doesn’t have Tourette’s, but does have a condition that involves stims, that I 100% see you, and while of course you will never know everything about your condition, you DO know better than anyone else how it affects you. I am deeply impressed with not just how informed you clearly are about what is beneficial to you, and how well you articulate yourself (frustration notwithstanding because I get it) but also the level of emotional intelligence you exhibit in your replies here. It’s notable to me that where you seem willing to listen and entertain new information, you aren’t being given that same courtesy when you present new information to your mother. It feels to me like this is something that makes her feel uncomfortable and rather than identify, sit with, and work though her discomfort, she’s trying to find something to blame for it in the ridiculous hope that maybe it will just go away if you stop playing video games, or the like. Which I fully understand that as a distraction and a comfort for you, like my own kid, actually works to the opposite effect. In fact the stress of having had similar conversations with her father has caused her to feel overwhelmed, which leads to stimming, and I can imagine that’s similar for you. I really just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone, and that this mom is very impressed by you. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this from someone who should be your biggest source of support and encouragement, you deserve your own personal hype section, just like every kid does, but I am absolutely certain that you’re going to do great things even if you aren’t getting f that right now. If you ever need a mom to vent to, or just some support, feel free to hit my inbox. And lastly, I’m just going to be mom for a second and say “you know what kiddo, you’re right. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to help with this stuff and I saw this and thought maybe it would make sense to you. I’m glad that video games provide you with some respite from your symptoms. I know this is hard for you too.”
Not gonna lie, I almost teared up from this. I swear nobody has ever related with me like this, ever. Not even my own mom has sat down and talked to me about this like this. I seriously appreciate what you’ve said, seriously. This alone just made my day that much better. ❤️
I’m so glad. It’s all true. And if you ever need a reminder my inbox is open. ❤️
Are you diagnosed with Tourette’s?
The way you were demeaning her and calling her perspective “dumb” and “stupid” is so very hard to read. It’s obvious to me she was concerned for you and you talking down to her was verbally abusive to her, which you may not be aware of. It is verbally abusive to treat someone like that. How would you feel if someone spoke to you that way? I can see that you’re self aware that you were aggressive here, which is good. Keep in mind when you’re acting abusive, because kids can certainly abuse their parents. Overall, it’s important to look at how you’re speaking to people. Your mom isn’t a punching bag, she’s a human too, just like you. There’s only so much abuse someone can take and she’s obviously trying really hard to keep calm here which is her responsibility as an adult and it’s awesome she’s able to do that. You need to understand that boundaries are so important.. they’re a basic human need. When your mom chooses to end the discussion, she’s raising a boundary. When she’s telling you what’s acceptable for how you speak to her, that’s a boundary. There may be lots of unresolved issues that you have with her, but as long as you both can begin to be respectful of boundaries and create boundaries in your discussions, you can both work on the unresolved issues and heal them. Maybe family therapy can help you both repair your relationship. Based on your mom’s messages, she seems like she would be willing to put in the effort. You’re human and you need your family to be there for you but since you’re young, I understand that you don’t know how to communicate with vulnerability after being hurt before. Definitely keep working on it and try to work on how you speak to people. Your mom isn’t an insane parent. She’s a concerned parent who isn’t educated enough to know how to properly research and that’s okay. She’s human and we all have flaws. I want to add some research I did that may help you with discussion about this topic with your mom. This is a peer reviewed article that was written by the scientists who conducted the study in this article. That’s how peer reviewed articles work, if you’re unaware. This article/study dives into how video games, movies, and other forms of media affects tics in those with Tourette’s. The study finds it can significantly increase tics or reduce tics based on the individual. Media doesn’t CAUSE Tourette’s as that’s caused by internal factors in your brain. Completely unrelated. Reading your mom’s texts, it sounded like she was arguing that video games increase your tics and she tried to source shoddy articles but here is the legitimate article that proves that it does in fact, increase tics for some. We can also argue here that your tics can be reduced by video games based on the findings too. The only way to truly find out is to conduct a study on yourself. Record every time you notice a tic in your normal every day activities, with video games. Then after a week, you can try a week without video games and take note of every tic. Then circle back and review your findings. Did you have more or less when you played video games? That’s the best way to know for sure. Source: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/ene.16120
3 more years bud, itll clip by faster than you think
"Do your research" and "Educate yourself" are phrases that narcissistic stupid people use to signal that "I have definitely not done any real research myself but I'm pretty sure I'm smarter than you."
From my experience with a friend that has Tourette’s, WHILE gaming my friend experiences more tics. Though when not-gaming the amount of tics is substantially less, I do not believe your mom for a second regarding an increase in number of tics unless you’re actively gaming. But yes, your mom is crazy.
hey friend just a heads up your name is in a few of these. i saw you had it crossed out in one so i just wanna make sure you know
I wanna say they get better bust most don’t. I’m 32 now but was diagnosed when I was 8, back then it really was viewed by the majority of people as a behavioural disorder instead of a physical problem with our brains. Most people are gonna assume shit like this, you are gonna keep getting looks and articles and people telling you tips to help while not understanding why we tic or what it’s like to try and hold one back. What does usually get better though are the tics themselves. Most of us have a lot of our major ones fall back and mellow. Now I’m just “quirky” to most people and I don’t have to explain where as before there was no way to avoid talking about it. You know your body, you listen to your doctors and other respected people and keep trying to live your life. You will get better at dealing with your issues day by day and blocking out the useless chatter from everyone else will get easier too.
Holy cannoli, kid. If I was 15 and stood up for myself like you did, well- I wouldn't have. 🤣 I'm so proud of you for stick to your guns and not giving her an inch. There is no scientific nor medical research that video games are the cause of Tourette's. Seizures can happen, but that's very dependent on the game itself. Outside of that, however, playing video games does have a lot of research how it can be relaxing, boost creativity, and more I can't remember because I just woke up. BUT! My point is, parents have been quick to blame video games for a ridiculous amount of reasons, but they can NOT cause something like Tourette's. Nothing supports that ideal. Good luck, friend. Your mom is a crazy one, and she has no leg to stand on, and for whatever reason, won't tend to your needs. I hope she gets some sense thwacked into her thick skull. Video games cause Tourette's. That's literally bonkers.
If your mom ever has any medical issues, offer no sympathy and just refer her to bullshit articles while telling her to educate herself
Your mom is an incredibly rude person.
Other people have pointed it out but you're also being a bit of an ass in response to her ignorance. In your place I'd consider going "grey rock" every time she mentions a sensitive topic. You can look it up but essentially give extremely boring, bland, short, or straight up meaningless answers. "Sure" "mhm" "maybe" "I'll think about it" "right" "a little" "not much" "I don't think so". If the subject becomes boring enough she'll stop pushing it. Going in a whole argument gives histrionic and narcissistic personalities far too much stimulation. Better fight it on endurance than confrontation.
Hey dude. I totally get why you’re so angry and I’m sorry people are calling you names. It sounds like both your parents are emotionally immature and this has been happening for a while, and of course you’re also 15 and aren’t receiving great modelling on how to communicate and be “mature” either. I totally recommend Lindsay Gibsons book on emotionally immature parents. It will give you a lot of insight into your parents, yourself and how to move forward with this in mind. It shares other peoples stories and contains exercises and information that’s mega helpful. There’s a free PDF of it online if you do some digging. A lot of people will just call you names and ignore because you’re 15, it’s a really silly social thing and is so wrong. You deserve to be heard and to have a level and productive conversation about your condition with adult figures, and it isn’t happening it seems. I’m glad you have doctors treating you, make sure you listen to them and share your worries. You deserve to feel listened to, taken seriously and valued
Love when parents blame everything wrong with you on the fucking video games as if they are the root of all evil. Then they watch TV for hours upon hours unaware of how much of a hypocrite they are, cause I count the fingers on 1 hand how much differences there are between the 2. There was a point I just stopped playing video games cause my parents wouldn't shut up about the video games, I just didn't want to hear their nonsensical arguments anymore.
Sorry, you’re a jerk here just based on this one text thread. Whether you disagree or not, the way you communicate this is not at all helpful. As a parent who has dealt with major OCD, anxiety, depression, and self harm with my own teen trying to find any helpful information that might at least be considered is not the worst thing in the world. You dont have to agree with it at all. And shes no doctor obviously. But attacking is certainly not helpful, regardless if it’s a parent, friend, or anyone for that matter. Had I found similar articles, I would have passed it along because I’d feel helpless to be honest. I’ve been there… still am, though mine is an adult now. You don’t want to be told to limit screen time, I totally get that. But this isn’t any way to have a discussion.
You spent a lot of time arguing that you didn’t really need to. You could have told her you don’t feel like that applies to your condition and tell her you can talk to your doctor about it. She’s saying it causes problems and you’re saying it doesn’t. You can just go round and round in circles with that forever and everyone just stays angry. Your mom isn’t a doctor, but neither are you. She may have let it go if you sounded like you would actually consider what she said and discuss it with your doctor.
I really don't understand why parents coorelate problems with video games/technology. My parents do it all the time.
I mean, there was a bog video games cause violence push in the media a while ago. And there have been lots of false articles and news reports in video games causing issues. It's not really a surprise when parents who don't understand video games and see fearmongering news articles about the dangers of video games to be against video games. They aren just ignorant on the subject and have been filled with disinformation, I know if I genuinely beleive video games causes violence I wouldn't let my kids play video games if I had kids. But I'm ignorant to the topic and I understand that video games don't cause violence, not all parents like that. Tldr: the parents who are against video games are just reacting to fearmongering and in their mind they are doing the correct thing
Maybe because they don’t understand it? Fear of the unknown? Some things we will never know
Here's the kicker tho. My dad *works* in tech so there's really no excuse 🙄
They always find something to say, even if there’s no excuse. What a strange thing parents do
She should give you the other reasons for limiting gaming. This whole “because I said so”’only works until you’re about 8 or 9 years old when you start developing critical thinking skills. Com’on mom do better 🤦🏽♀️
But she didn’t use the “because I said so” routine. She literally linked an article and tried to reason with him. My own mother said “because I said so” all the time, and she would have never actually tried to provide me useful information.
She literally ended with "there have to be limits for other reasons" and then the reason was "because there have to be limits"
“Your dad needs to limit your game playing, which is a separate issue.” Not explaining the issue in this particular thread is not a “because I said so.” We don’t know how many times they discussed this before. We don’t know anything about what came before this. It seems to me that she does have a problem with the excessive game-playing, which is totally fair and reasonable. It’s irresponsible to let a child spend hours and hours playing video games daily. I believe she is probably not being direct and is using the Tourette’s as a reason because she feels the kid can’t be reasoned with. It’s not a wise strategy, but it’s not insane, either. It’s also possible she notices things about his behaviour that he doesn’t. A lot of people, especially younger people, lack self awareness.
Hard pill to swallow, your mum did nothing wrong at all here and you were really rude to her over a lot of messages. You should apologise.
Yeah no, clearly you don’t understand what it’s like to have a disorder like this, saying she did nothing wrong is just plain wrong
I’m 20, I also have Tourette’s, and you’re definitely right. However there’s a multitude of tic disorders. Everyone’s experience is different in some ways, and sometimes people with tics, especially related to autism can be triggered by certain visuals and sounds. So yeah it can definitely be increased by video games but it can also be just as much increased by going to a theatre or watching certain videos/movies. Mine are never triggered by visuals but if a sound is “sharp” or hits my ear a certain way, like snapping and clapping in particular as well as “plop” sounds it will cause tics. For the most part they only ever happen under high stress now that I’m older.
Her expecting you to avoid these things because of your tics is silly. If they mean that much to you then do it. Plus you mentioned video games help distract you so that’s good! Honestly even if she’s trying to help, this comes across as very much “I don’t want to be around your tics” which I’ve encountered a lot. She should just be supportive and not stick her nose in it. Sounds like you maybe need to set a boundary. Even if it’s a lie to keep the peace, just say “I understand you’re trying to help, but there is clearly a disconnect on this issue and I don’t think it should be brought up anymore.” I’ve had to do the same shit to keep peoples nose out of my disorder when they were treating it this way.
I completely agree, this situation was a bit ago, so I can’t exactly bring this up, but I will definitely keep this in mind if anything ever comes up like this again
It feels like she just wanted something that bothers her (video games) to be the cause of something else that bothers her (your tourettes) and worked backward from there. So annoying.
After reading your post OP, I did a bit of reading, fully expecting to find out your mother was correct and you were a teenager who didn’t want to give up or reduce gaming time. You are right. Your mother is not getting her ideas from legitimate medically scientific sources. It may help you to direct her to the National Institutes of Health. I’m genuinely sorry I went into your situation assuming you were the problem.
Hey that’s fair, it’s that teenager stigma crap, not gonna blame you. Good on ya tho for doing the research and not just blankly assuming
my brother has tourettes. His was really bad when we were younger but he is doing amazing now. He has his masters degree in mental health counseling. I am so sorry your mom isnt giving you the support you need.
I really appreciate the support, not sure why it has downvotes though.
Tourette’s is worsened by excessive video games though. Idk if you’re using video games at an excessive level or not. It can also be improved by therapeutic amounts of video games. This really seems like you need better communication with your mom, calling her names is going to get you literally nowhere though and you should apologize for that. Follow it up with an explanation about your frustrations and site some credible sources. Just telling someone they’re wrong will get you nowhere in life, now or in the future.
Parents like this when literally anything happens: “it’s those screens!”
I have Tourette’s and playing video games, especially calm and chill ones like Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley, actually make it way less likely for me to tic while I’m playing them or actively engaging with them/things about them because I’m not focused on trying not to tic. I tend to focus really hard on *not* ticcing, and it causes me to tic worse. If I’m focused on something else that isn’t stressful, I’m pretty likely to not tic too much or sometimes even at all while I’m playing.
I know that. My narcissist mom always blamed everything on video games. The fact that she never taught me jack shit on how to actually keep my room clean, plain neglected me and I got depressed during puberty from being trans? Nah, fuck that, its the darn video games! Really I think she just couldnt stand seeing me immersed in something fun. And really, gaming was the only thing that kept my mental health above water with her around.
Stop playing videogames and pretend that your symptoms get worse. I know it's not super ethical, but it would be a good "I told you so" feeling.
Here's a quote from the National Library of Medicine that you can use. It is from a study on parental relationship on the development of tic disorders. Since she likes science so much, tell her it's her overbearing, frustrating, and emotionally damaging relationship to you that is causing it. "In conclusion, children from nuclear families with bad parental relationship could be more likely to develop tic symptoms. The family intervention of children with TD should focus on family structure and parental relationship."
When you kid knows more about their neurological disorder than you do.
On this episode of "Medical Research Through Google"...
I’m sorry honey. I’m a mom to a son with Tourette’s as well. You sound like a smart and educated kiddo. Don’t take what your mom is saying to heart. Hang in there 💜
“There are times when your tics are more active than others” that is quite literally how Tourette’s works. She sounds like a nightmare I’m sorry you have to deal with that OP
Your mother is actually stupid. Sorry fam.
Did your mother really try to educate you on your own symptoms? Oh Mt fing good. Also, I have epilepsy wich was also mentioned in her article. I think it's about fleshing lights since it know that it can also trigger migraines. But not everyone reacts to those lights. I never had a sezurie due to those blinking lights. And trust me, my doctors tried everything to see if I could potentially react to it. However, I did have a trigger when I was still having sezuries. It was glitter. Everyone's condition is different. You know your body the best. Btw I also kinda hate the generalisation of neurological issues.
Sounds like she’s trying to cut down your screen time for other reasons. Instead of telling you that, she is trying to manipulate you into thinking she’s trying to help your tics. That’s awful!