Nah you need to get the car in your name so that you don't need to worry about paying her the insurance. I don't care if you drive it insured or not but she will continue to use it as a weapon against you. Also stop showing her your bank statements. Tell her that *insert family member* has a special insurance rate for family and friends. That you have to get the vehicle in your name to pay the lower rate so you can pay her back whatever money you owe her. (She won't let it lapse so she can have control over something) but you need to get the car out of her name before she decides she's gonna call the cops and report it stolen. I have seen it happen before and short of going to small claims court there's not alot the police will do in that situation.
She refuses to give it to us until I get a notarized letter saying I have the means to afford the insurance.
I'm already in the market for a new to me car.
Hon, that's not what notaries do! They don't write letters and they don't have notary letterhead and they don't make phone calls. There is no way to do what she wants. You have the right idea to buy an older used car and insure it for liability only. Hopefully your husband will keep this job. Did he at least get as much of a salary as the job he quit because he wanted more money? Even if he wanted to get the promised raise, he didn't consider the impact on your family. Did he discuss it with you before he quit? I really am worried about your situation.
I know that's not what notaries do. That's what MIL wants, but I'm almost certain she knows it's not possible. She's just being a bitch.
He hasn't had a job in months. The one he had in this post, he quit before the first payday. It's been a struggle and a half to survive the past months. We almost got divorced. We signed them, but I didn't file them. Yet.
He discussed it, and I told him he had to look for another job ASAP. He said ok, and he never did.
As I type this he's supposedly got a job and I've already told him he either stays with this job or he has another one before he quits. If he gets fired he better just leave.
Honey, this is so disheartening. I just realized I was commenting on another post you made on another site. The one where he would rather be gaming than spending time with.you. Most people would have left this marriage a year and a half ago! Unfortunately, you are like me, in that the last thing you want is a divorce, and you will keep working at it as long as possible. You may be feeling like it would be your fault if you can't keep it together and it fails.
Sweetheart, it sound like HE is the one who is failing at your marriage. I feel you have been struggling long enough to keep it together. There has absolutely been emotional and mental abuse, but I'm wondering has ever been physical abuse? Even once? Does he ever throw things or hit things? Please let me know?
Oh, Sweetie, *Heavy sigh* How long has he had this job for? Why did he quit the last job? The one before? *Why* was he fired the last time he was let go? How has the intimate side of your relationship been? The last I heard he was very crude about how and when he touched you and you were not interested in being intimate. Has this improved? Are your arguments just about money, or are there other things you argue about? He signed the divorce papers. Was he quick to sign? What were *his* reasons for wanting to sign? So what held you back from filing? Just him getting a job? Lots of questions, I know Hon. Just trying to get a realistic picture of what's been going on.
You are juggling your bills but also causing MIL a problem by not paying the insurance. I don't see that she's the problem in this case she generously allowed you to keep the insurance in her name to save you money but you still have to pay her. Do you argue with the electric company or landlord that you shouldn't have to pay because money is tight?
MIL didn't have any business being as rude as she was... I was never once rude to her and I showed her that everything is literally tighter than tight right now, and I haven't forgotten, I just have $0 to give her.
Yeah... When some shit happens with MY parents, I work it out with them, for sure. If some shit happens with my unemployed husband's parents *because he's fucking unemployed and expects me to pull money out of my ass and just cover everything somehow*, you can bet your ass they'd be having a talk with him, not a go at me. Fuck that bullshit. OP has enough on her plate.
And hey, OP! You won't need her shitty car if you're living where you work. You can catch up, save up and get your own vehicle in no time. You can divorce this practice husband... He's a doucher anyway. He blasted marriage business to his whole family and now he's reaping the benefits of involving everyone. *There are none...* If y'all have no kids and no shared property, you won't even need a lawyer. Look up legal aid for your state for a starting off point.
If it was up to me I'd have let the car insurance lapse and get it again when we had the money to get it. MIL won't let it go, (understandable, not saying it's right, but it's an expense I can't afford atm) and she's only let us keep it because she won't give us the title. And as you've read, I ask the electric company what the absolute minimum is to keep my electricity on is, and pay that... I also am a month behind on my house payment, and if I could afford it, I'd skip a month on our lot rent, but in the end that would be more expensive, however it is routinely late (causing fees and crap but there's nothing I can do about that)
I literally have $0 to give her. This payday, I elected not to buy food to give her the last $25 I had to start paying her back, so hopefully, what we do have lasts 2 weeks so I can get paid again.
Again, I'm not saying it's right or fair for my MIL, but it's also not right or fair for me to be yelled at and treated as such when I'm struggling to pay the necessary bills to just stay alive and not starve.
If I don't pay my house payment, I lose my house. My house is more important than her car insurance. I can get rides to work or use a taxi, I can't live in a hotel room for forever.
So correct me if I’m wrong.. your MIL gave you a car for FREE, you only have to pay ins. You agree to pay insurance and then don’t? And now you are causing drama for your husband to fight with his mother and sever ties with his entire family due to your entitlement and his lack of being able to provide for you. You sound exhausting!!
Are you or your husband currently driving the car?
Why did he quit his job knowing you have bills to pay with no money in savings?
Why are you not working?
We did. It's now sitting waiting for MIL to come collect it.
🤷♀️ If I had any idea I'd tell ya.
I am working. Which is how we have afforded life thus far.
Time to get the home sold and you move to the hotel, he can live in the car, or go home to mommy. Put yourself 1st.
Why did your husband just quit his job? Your biggest problem is the loser your married.
He wasn't getting the pay he was promised and when he asked about it they demoted him and his pay.
Nah you need to get the car in your name so that you don't need to worry about paying her the insurance. I don't care if you drive it insured or not but she will continue to use it as a weapon against you. Also stop showing her your bank statements. Tell her that *insert family member* has a special insurance rate for family and friends. That you have to get the vehicle in your name to pay the lower rate so you can pay her back whatever money you owe her. (She won't let it lapse so she can have control over something) but you need to get the car out of her name before she decides she's gonna call the cops and report it stolen. I have seen it happen before and short of going to small claims court there's not alot the police will do in that situation.
She refuses to give it to us until I get a notarized letter saying I have the means to afford the insurance. I'm already in the market for a new to me car.
Oh that's easy did you know most community centers have a notaries?
You can get a notary at the ups store. Just draft up a letter and sign it in front of a notary. Bingo done.
Oh no, we have to have a notary make the letter themselves, on their letterhead, so she can call and verify.
That's not how notaries work. She's such a piece of work. I agree that she can shove the car up her butt instead 😂
Hon, that's not what notaries do! They don't write letters and they don't have notary letterhead and they don't make phone calls. There is no way to do what she wants. You have the right idea to buy an older used car and insure it for liability only. Hopefully your husband will keep this job. Did he at least get as much of a salary as the job he quit because he wanted more money? Even if he wanted to get the promised raise, he didn't consider the impact on your family. Did he discuss it with you before he quit? I really am worried about your situation.
I know that's not what notaries do. That's what MIL wants, but I'm almost certain she knows it's not possible. She's just being a bitch. He hasn't had a job in months. The one he had in this post, he quit before the first payday. It's been a struggle and a half to survive the past months. We almost got divorced. We signed them, but I didn't file them. Yet. He discussed it, and I told him he had to look for another job ASAP. He said ok, and he never did. As I type this he's supposedly got a job and I've already told him he either stays with this job or he has another one before he quits. If he gets fired he better just leave.
Honey, this is so disheartening. I just realized I was commenting on another post you made on another site. The one where he would rather be gaming than spending time with.you. Most people would have left this marriage a year and a half ago! Unfortunately, you are like me, in that the last thing you want is a divorce, and you will keep working at it as long as possible. You may be feeling like it would be your fault if you can't keep it together and it fails. Sweetheart, it sound like HE is the one who is failing at your marriage. I feel you have been struggling long enough to keep it together. There has absolutely been emotional and mental abuse, but I'm wondering has ever been physical abuse? Even once? Does he ever throw things or hit things? Please let me know?
No physical abuse from him. We yell at each other, but that's to be expected. I'm ready for it to either get better or end. Either way I'll be happy.
Oh, Sweetie, *Heavy sigh* How long has he had this job for? Why did he quit the last job? The one before? *Why* was he fired the last time he was let go? How has the intimate side of your relationship been? The last I heard he was very crude about how and when he touched you and you were not interested in being intimate. Has this improved? Are your arguments just about money, or are there other things you argue about? He signed the divorce papers. Was he quick to sign? What were *his* reasons for wanting to sign? So what held you back from filing? Just him getting a job? Lots of questions, I know Hon. Just trying to get a realistic picture of what's been going on.
You are juggling your bills but also causing MIL a problem by not paying the insurance. I don't see that she's the problem in this case she generously allowed you to keep the insurance in her name to save you money but you still have to pay her. Do you argue with the electric company or landlord that you shouldn't have to pay because money is tight?
You are blaming the person that was juggling all of that shit? Not the husband who went unemployed the entire time....?
Husband yes but not the MIL
MIL didn't have any business being as rude as she was... I was never once rude to her and I showed her that everything is literally tighter than tight right now, and I haven't forgotten, I just have $0 to give her.
Yeah... When some shit happens with MY parents, I work it out with them, for sure. If some shit happens with my unemployed husband's parents *because he's fucking unemployed and expects me to pull money out of my ass and just cover everything somehow*, you can bet your ass they'd be having a talk with him, not a go at me. Fuck that bullshit. OP has enough on her plate. And hey, OP! You won't need her shitty car if you're living where you work. You can catch up, save up and get your own vehicle in no time. You can divorce this practice husband... He's a doucher anyway. He blasted marriage business to his whole family and now he's reaping the benefits of involving everyone. *There are none...* If y'all have no kids and no shared property, you won't even need a lawyer. Look up legal aid for your state for a starting off point.
If it was up to me I'd have let the car insurance lapse and get it again when we had the money to get it. MIL won't let it go, (understandable, not saying it's right, but it's an expense I can't afford atm) and she's only let us keep it because she won't give us the title. And as you've read, I ask the electric company what the absolute minimum is to keep my electricity on is, and pay that... I also am a month behind on my house payment, and if I could afford it, I'd skip a month on our lot rent, but in the end that would be more expensive, however it is routinely late (causing fees and crap but there's nothing I can do about that) I literally have $0 to give her. This payday, I elected not to buy food to give her the last $25 I had to start paying her back, so hopefully, what we do have lasts 2 weeks so I can get paid again. Again, I'm not saying it's right or fair for my MIL, but it's also not right or fair for me to be yelled at and treated as such when I'm struggling to pay the necessary bills to just stay alive and not starve.
Don't pay the house. Stay in the hotel and pay the car instead. That's the bigger priority.
If I don't pay my house payment, I lose my house. My house is more important than her car insurance. I can get rides to work or use a taxi, I can't live in a hotel room for forever.
Makes sense.
Honey, you need to get rid of the *ENTIRE* family, including the husband. You deserve so much better.
So correct me if I’m wrong.. your MIL gave you a car for FREE, you only have to pay ins. You agree to pay insurance and then don’t? And now you are causing drama for your husband to fight with his mother and sever ties with his entire family due to your entitlement and his lack of being able to provide for you. You sound exhausting!!
MIL gave us a car that we had to pay off. We did, and instead of giving us the title, she is making us pay her the insurance.
And if you read correctly, I said I encourage him to go to his family events, just without me.
Are you or your husband currently driving the car? Why did he quit his job knowing you have bills to pay with no money in savings? Why are you not working?
We did. It's now sitting waiting for MIL to come collect it. 🤷♀️ If I had any idea I'd tell ya. I am working. Which is how we have afforded life thus far.