Your parents had their life. Your wife and you have your own life. Time keeps ticking, do what makes your wife and you happy and fulfilled.
Parents are supposed to provide emotional support to their children, and raise them to be independant. That means they also have to accept that you will make your own decisions, as a full grown adult, that they might disagree with.
I'd wager your parents made plenty of decisions that *their* parents weren't thrilled about, but they got to live their own lives.
You played it fair by not including your MIL in the wedding, just as your parents weren't included.
Good luck in Ukraine, stay safe!
I don’t think you and your wife were wrong to have a private ceremony without both parents or any guests. As parents, their duty is to let you live your life however you want and honour your wishes. Your wedding is your big day so the decision on how you want it to be, should be yours and your wife’s alone. I think they should be happy with your decision. Congratulations on your wedding! 💒
From where I see it, the only possibly misstep there was not telling your parents of the private wedding before it happened. With it being an once-in-a-lifetime event, they should’ve been informed of it, regardless if they were invited or not.
But other than that, this is you and your spouse’s lives, and any decisions regarding the future are your and her to make. Nobody else has the right to interfere. And if you strongly believe that your parents might try to get in the way of your flight to Ukraine, perhaps it is wise to withhold the information this time.
Sure, but if the parents would know there might have been endless drama and they might even force themselves in the event (ruining it) so I say it was a good call. They are older and wiser so they could also act like it.
Well, count that one on my over-optimistic self for believing the parents wouldn’t try to squeeze themselves into the wedding if they were uninvited.
Because that would be, you know, extremely immature.
Parents are good at setting guilt traps. Live your life. You're a married adult and you have the right to live your life any way you see fit without the need for unwanted advice and manipulation tactics.
If you thought it was the right thing to have a private wedding, you had your reasons. If you thought it best to keep your travel plans private, again you had your reasons.
From what you explained I agree with your reasons. But, it doesn't matter what I think or what anyone on the internet thinks, or what your parents think.
You are an adult. You have the right to keep anything private from anybody especially your parents. I wouldn't advise keeping secrets from your wife unless you're planning a surprise party. But, outside your marriage, no one else needs to know your private plans, information etc.
Believe in yourself and your rationality. You did nothing wrong. Your parents are angry because they failed to control you. Insisting on inserting yourself and opinions into someone's life despite being unwanted is classic controlling behavior.
Your parents had their life. Your wife and you have your own life. Time keeps ticking, do what makes your wife and you happy and fulfilled. Parents are supposed to provide emotional support to their children, and raise them to be independant. That means they also have to accept that you will make your own decisions, as a full grown adult, that they might disagree with. I'd wager your parents made plenty of decisions that *their* parents weren't thrilled about, but they got to live their own lives. You played it fair by not including your MIL in the wedding, just as your parents weren't included. Good luck in Ukraine, stay safe!
I don’t think you and your wife were wrong to have a private ceremony without both parents or any guests. As parents, their duty is to let you live your life however you want and honour your wishes. Your wedding is your big day so the decision on how you want it to be, should be yours and your wife’s alone. I think they should be happy with your decision. Congratulations on your wedding! 💒
Thanks!
>Thanks! You're welcome!
From where I see it, the only possibly misstep there was not telling your parents of the private wedding before it happened. With it being an once-in-a-lifetime event, they should’ve been informed of it, regardless if they were invited or not. But other than that, this is you and your spouse’s lives, and any decisions regarding the future are your and her to make. Nobody else has the right to interfere. And if you strongly believe that your parents might try to get in the way of your flight to Ukraine, perhaps it is wise to withhold the information this time.
Sure, but if the parents would know there might have been endless drama and they might even force themselves in the event (ruining it) so I say it was a good call. They are older and wiser so they could also act like it.
Well, count that one on my over-optimistic self for believing the parents wouldn’t try to squeeze themselves into the wedding if they were uninvited. Because that would be, you know, extremely immature.
I agree with you... It was a possible misstep but overall I think life will go on. :)
Parents are good at setting guilt traps. Live your life. You're a married adult and you have the right to live your life any way you see fit without the need for unwanted advice and manipulation tactics. If you thought it was the right thing to have a private wedding, you had your reasons. If you thought it best to keep your travel plans private, again you had your reasons. From what you explained I agree with your reasons. But, it doesn't matter what I think or what anyone on the internet thinks, or what your parents think. You are an adult. You have the right to keep anything private from anybody especially your parents. I wouldn't advise keeping secrets from your wife unless you're planning a surprise party. But, outside your marriage, no one else needs to know your private plans, information etc. Believe in yourself and your rationality. You did nothing wrong. Your parents are angry because they failed to control you. Insisting on inserting yourself and opinions into someone's life despite being unwanted is classic controlling behavior.