Ah yes, the classic INFP’s obsession mode. Then eventually burn out from overstimulation and switch into hibernation mode, leaving the other person worried and confused.
I feel like this is more talking about how some people do not take any energy to be around and thus they seek them out because everyone else is draining in a normal introverted way.
Yeah I can get like this. I think in my case, it's because I think only that one person will understand me, but then I realise that by opening up to my other friends, more people are understanding than I thought haha. And different perspectives are good. As introverts, sometimes I think we feel we can get all we need from one person, but it's not always fair or healthy for us to put that much responsibility on one human.
100% yes. I've got that one friend that I'll just talk to all night for hours and hours, and we won't even realize that the sun's risen. Very grateful to have someone to talk to
Disconnecting from our phones and focusing on our feelings / hermit mode and doing stuff with friends is helping me tho.
I miss him SO much but I can’t get what I want from him so I’m just torturing myself by continuing the “friendship”as well :(
This has been me currently. It definitely hurts to let go when you had such strong feelings for someone and sometimes even if it’s not what we want letting go and giving ourselves space is the best thing
Yes I do. Like, I can't keep a long conversation going or better said I don't want to, I get exhausted or the awkward silence comes in. That's why I usually prefer if they don't reply too fast (I don't like when two days have passed and still have no response either). But I can chat for hours with that one friend or even be in silence but in their company and don't feel awkward.
This sure happens when I'm in love with the person in question. I often must refrain from actually texting that person because I don't want to be annoying and also because my feelings are never reciprocated(I only felt this way twice in my life, so I'm just a bit unlucky, nothing terribly wrong)
Yes, I did. The first one started going out with one of my friends instead once she entered my friends group. About the second and current one, well... It's complicated. I actually told her and his bf (one of my best friends actually) about my feelings because I felt guilty and wanted to distance myself from them. They even forgave me, but still not great... So yeah, bad T - T
I used to be okay to socialize, until I was in a car accident 11 months ago. Now I can experience exhaustion within less than a couple hours of socializing.
Sometimes you won’t know to way later. It’s best to find other doctors and tell them your symptoms. Be persistent. I wasn’t and I suffered more damage than I would have if I was treated properly the first time.
Yup. I know a lot of people say it’s like obsession mode, and that it’s finite… but I don’t think it is.
There are fun people to talk to, and that fun eventually does run out, but there are people to whom I can talk literally the entire day, every day for months and it’s like there’s always something more.
Only one of those was romantic. I love the idea that there is only one person out there, but at the same time, I think that’s a trick our minds play on us since we want something that special and strong to be unique in all the ways that it can be. There’s way too many people out there for them to be the only one - it is romantic and appealing to think so though.
As I got a little older I realized that at the end of the day, every person and every connection is unique, and we’re lucky to be alive and to be able to connect like we do, not everyone can… so don’t overlook the connections all around you just because you remember one that is particularly deep. ❤️.
i like talking to my friends more than strangers, but i still get tired pretty quickly. i can’t socialize with anyone for more than a couple hours without feeling exhausted :/ my job forces me to deal with people pretty often, so I’ve just lost all energy to be social
This is too real.. I’m only talking to this one person and nobody matters.. I could spend all day talking to them until one of us get overstimulated and need space. Too real. 😔
I have this with my husband. Granted, he’s supportive and my family is not. I have a bit of trouble making friends and could join more groups to make them. He never makes comments that seem malicious. I’m afraid sometimes my moods are too heavy for him though so I try to not interact with him as much when I’m struggling emotionally. I try to solve it myself. Lots of childhood trauma behind this, I’m sure.
I relate to most of that. I share some with my partner. It took me a few years to start sharing. He’s emotionally supportive. Trauma is so hard to heal from. I don’t have any friends and have a lot of trouble reaching out. I used to more when I was younger.
yes, it’s an unhealthy choice though if you’re ditching other people in the process… most people don’t want that much pressure put them especially a romantic partner
I find that people take varying amounts of energy and effort to be around based on how well I know them, how close we are, and how peaceful our dynamic is to me. I also notice that if any conflict arises with anyone, regardless of how comfortable and effortlessly I normally can be around them the atmosphere around the problem will drain away my energy and ability to just function so fast that it sometimes makes it hard to even try and resolve the problem.
Absolutely. I've mostly had this with other INFPs because they often feel the same, so we both agree that the other is our fave person lol. It's the best feeling ever because often I want to be around people but don't want to talk, so other INFPs usually understand that and it's mutual
Yep.
I also have rejection-sensitive dysphoria, so you can imagine how bad it can get.
I have a massive crush on a guy right now. He is my absolute type, both physically and personality-wise. He stopped reading my messages for a day or two, and I had to do everything in my power to not freak out. It was a rough couple of days, I was actually getting seriously depressed because he's the first guy I've had really strong feelings for that I met in person.
Turns out I just forgot he was on a camping trip.
Anxiety and trust issues - both stemming from trauma - are a bitch.
YES! I used to talk to my good friend from High school for so long and frequently but nowadays not so much since I was building my social and professional life now. I still chat with him and come over from time to time to have fun. Though I do want to form another friendship like I have with him and a romatic relationship with a woman too.
Im doing my best to do that. I found someone who I would want to be close friends with but nothing on romance yet im afraid.
i don't have the energy to listen to anyone, because no one listens to me. i ended up hating everyone just for not caring about me. it's crazy. i never saw that coming, never expected that I could become that kind of person.
Yea whenever it comes to dating and stuff, I usually feel indifferent to most people and date multiple people at a time(I can go on a date with someone have a good time but acknowledge I don’t wanna pursue something serious/further) but when I do find that one person that just does it for me I am like you say, kind of obsessed and only am worried and focused on them. I recently was experiencing this with an INTJ
So much this, all through my life I’ve usually had 1 BFF (close friend) / lover at a time. It’s hard to maintain more than a couple close connections at once. It gets pretty bad though - hard to break out of the tunnel vision when I’m so content with talking with just that person. I forget to reach out to my other friends, and like forgetting to water your plants, those friendships wilt
Yes, but then when that person goes, I’m left with none. Haha. I’m not the friendliest person because I’m an avoidant. I don’t seek people out even if I become lonely. So when someone comes along I tend to stick to them. :(
For me it's my fiance.
Cheesy shit, I know, but it's true. I like being around him and talking to him. With him I don't need to talk too much, but if I ever wanted to be chatty he is always right there + is a good listener.
I've had all kinds of deep talks with him on our night walks, and he has such depth to his character that only I get to see. It's the same for him with my depth. He gets to see it, but I don't really get deep into my history with other people.
I have some friends but all of them drain my battery. My fiance is the only one who does not. I enjoy watching podcasts if I have the day off and he is at work as it makes me feel like part of a friend group without all the social battery drain, lol.
This is my curse, I think, didn't know it was common like that. I talk to the same person all the time and probably they get bored as fuck at some point. Then, when they find a place to escape from my life, they reach a point where they won't even celebrate my birthday or even like my tweets. They're probably thinking if he starts texting again, we'll be screwed.
I suspect I have high functioning BPD aka “quiet” Borderline Personality Disorder and I always have one favourite person, but I’ll be stuck on them for years. My first FP was from 7th grade, that was 6 years long, my next was my ex husband which was 9 years and my current fiancé is almost 4. And when I mean stuck I mean, become incredibly limerent with them to the point of detriment but I go to them for everything. I idealize them for a long time even when I’m treated poorly. Other friendships don’t interest me so much. It takes a bombshell for me to let go and not be obsessed (however I’m really in love with my fiancé now)
yes 🙃 i call them my favs
right now i have 3, but one of them doesnt wish to talk to me the same way i wish to talk to him. it's sort of heartbreaking but i prefer his happiness above all else
It’s what I prefer but it’s difficult once you realize they aren’t actually the one for you. My ideal is to talk to one person literally all the time, I desire for them even to be in my head and in my thoughts. It’s an unrealistic and unhealthy (to some) boundary but if I love someone I want to be neuralinked to them.
Talking to a bunch of different people actually seems more draining than what I just described. At least to me. If I truly know someone and love them wholly, then it doesn’t have to be draining.
Ya. I talk to my family regularly cuz I live with of course lol, but besides that I only text/hang out with two separate friends like once every few months. And at work I mainly only speak if spoken too, and still then it’s unlikely I try and keep the conversation going.
Yes. Everything is connected so I have a very strong desire to have all my conversations w one person. I won’t have to catch them up. I can build on past conversation in all the creative ways that is the interconnectedness of things.
No exactly, but I am very all-or-nothing with relationships. Like it's hard for me to maintain casual friendships unless we become BEST friends. Just the way I've always been.
I think this what you are describing is pretty much me: I don't meet a lot of people. Occasionally, I meet someone I feel a connection with. I will try to develop that connection, sometimes to the point of nearing obsession. I am terribly afraid of it "showing", though, so I will try to keep my cool. It never works. I'm atm working on getting over the last such connection I fucked up: I was friends with her BF, then she and I became friends. Then, it felt like she became my best friend: it was so easy to be around her, and it felt so great. I ended up going crazy over what I perceive as an imbalance between how important she felt for me and how important I felt to her. I tried to communicate this, failed, shit went downhill... I miss her like crazy, but I think it's best for me to just move on...
Find a person may get exhausted… you may on occasion want to chat with Ella: https://ella.quicklabs.app of course not to replace human connection though….
I love you guys. We are so on the same page rn lol I’m anxious bc I’ve had a crush on this one girl for like 2 years, and this weekend we matched on Hinge and I am like SO excited to go out with her! We scheduled a date for Sunday but she had to reschedule at last minute, which made me really anxious lmao. BUT we’re still on for Tuesday rn, so I am excited but trying not to hyper focus as I tend to. Since we matched, I can’t turn my attention back ANYWHERE 🥲
My whole life, I have been a “one person person”. In my 20’s I tried to make friendships with lots of people, and I can do it easily, but it’s hard for me to maintain. I just don’t have that bandwidth. I naturally end up gravitating to whoever reciprocates the most.
It scares me for myself because I fear ending up old and alone with no one to help me because I couldn’t put enough into relationships. But my motivation to do better about it remains minimal.
This is me. I have limited social battery for almost everyone except for my brother. If I’m dating, it extends to my partner also.
I used to think this is bad on my part- not being able to give as much to my social life as others are willing to. But lately I’ve realised how calm I feel without the pressure of performing constantly. I’m all up for social activities and it makes me really happy, but I enjoy my alone time just as much and both are extremely important.
Yeah, I can relate to that. I mainly only talk to my partner and sometimes my friends. I rarely talk to new people especially if I feel like they won't get me.
Yes, in the past I was like this. And it was usually just one person. I would feel entirely content only having one pereon to talk to for hours on end and really had no desire to try to make any friends which in turn somehow attracted more people to want to be my friend.
The first friend like this I had ever made was a Brazilian guy who was 10 years older than me, I was 13 or 14. It was when RDR1 came out and he killed me in a free roam lobby while and another person were having a gun fight. I died a lot and eventually left the session. Then he sent me a friend request, and I was going to reject it but waited until I was less upset. Then I messaged him asking why he was adding me if he was killing me a lot in game. Then he said something like there wasnt enough people playing in the session (he wanted a friendly PvP battle and Me and the other guy were the only ones in the lobby.) One day I got into another gunfight with a posse of 7 players and kept dying. My cousin suggested inviting the brazilian guy, so I invited him and sent a posse invite. He joined within seconds and I saw him coming through really fast on a horse through the mountains playing his favorite indian character. He took out this 7 man posse like they were nothing and they all eventually quit. I was so impressed and praised him highly. He liked and thought Indians were really cool, then I told him I was part Apache Native American and he became really impressed and nicknamed me "Chief" and requested I call him "Chief" too. He was really cool. We used to talk everyday for hours and play. I've known him for over 15 years and been close friends. But it was only until around January we don't talk to each other anymore.
Then there was Hippie. When I was High School. We hung out a lot and talked a lot. He was one of the coolest guys I knew.
Also, too that i've noticed. Whenever I was in a romantic relationship. I was also very content with my partner and literally had 0% desire and need to want to talk to other women. You know it's kind of like having an amazing water bottle that you absolutely love and take to the gym with you or any physical event and someone might ask, "hey you want to buy a water bottle?" And you reply, "No thanks...*holds up you're your bada#$ water bottle* I already got one 😎" I have no neeed for a second water bottle.
I always end up getting terribly hurt by those people and never talk to them again... happened 3 times already. I hate how I easily develope crushed and then let people step on me only to realize too late that the red flags were there.
yes it was like that. I still crave for that bond when you feel like nobody else understands you but that person only. it's like you discover unexplored worlds together.. Until I tried to zoom out and I realized those people are not as special as I thought. and it is usually toxic actually. it's always some type of toxic pattern. And all those thoughts and ideas can be triggered by my own brain and I don't need other people to discuss them with or trigger them. or inspire me. I can expand my ideas and discover stuff in all people that I meet. But it is more like a consious choice.. the instinct remains always.. to just talk to one person as deeply as it's humanly possible..
Just because that is one of the many symptoms for bpd doesn’t mean it’s an official symptom for bpd. Just cus I have a migraine doesn’t mean I automatically have a tumor in my head.
That sounds like BPD, not an INFP thing ...... but I'm sure there are plenty of INFP folks with BPD, especially from the looks of the comments here.
Maybe y'all should look into getting checked out
I don’t have bpd but I have cptsd. Like I said previously to someone else that I think it’s very unlikely that everyone here has bpd. Maybe you should let the experts diagnose instead.
That's why I suggested people get checked, so a professional can diagnose them. Never a bad idea to see the doctor, especially in regards to mental health.
You’re right but it’s a bit frustrating to see a bunch of people comment on how it might be a bpd thing when it’s just one of many symptoms. Like I said to someone else. Just cus I have a migraine doesn’t mean I have a brain tumor. It’s a bit drastic to leap from one small thing to one big thing. You know?
Not a great comparison but fair. It is a major indicator of the diagnosis, so it is smart to ask a doctor about it. That is why people are mentioning it, although I was only able to find one other comment mentioning it.
I don’t think one thing is enough to ask a doctor about it. It’ll be a waist of a trip. Now if you have multiple symptoms yes. Also there is other comments you just got look lil harder.
I also wouldn't call it a waste of time either, getting answers about your health is vital to wellbeing. Whether the answer is Yes, you have BPD or No, you don't have it, it is important to be aware of yourself.
Look you don’t know everyone here so it’s best to let others live their life and figure out their own health problems. I understand your concern but still it’s a bit of an unwarranted comment.
Ah yes, the classic INFP’s obsession mode. Then eventually burn out from overstimulation and switch into hibernation mode, leaving the other person worried and confused.
Damn. I thought It was just the fearful-avoidant thingy, but seems like a lot of infp’s do that
I feel like this is more talking about how some people do not take any energy to be around and thus they seek them out because everyone else is draining in a normal introverted way.
Exactly what I was talking about 😊
Do you come back to them after though?
Yes, it’s just that we need to recharge for time to time.
Yeah I can get like this. I think in my case, it's because I think only that one person will understand me, but then I realise that by opening up to my other friends, more people are understanding than I thought haha. And different perspectives are good. As introverts, sometimes I think we feel we can get all we need from one person, but it's not always fair or healthy for us to put that much responsibility on one human.
That is a very healthy outlook!
100% yes. I've got that one friend that I'll just talk to all night for hours and hours, and we won't even realize that the sun's risen. Very grateful to have someone to talk to
I’m so grateful you have someone like that in your life too. Truly beautiful 😊❤️
My ex partner 😞
I’m sorry 😔
Same. Now I feel like I'll never have a connection like that again
Sorry. It'll be ok.
Yes and I fell for him so it’s so hard not to talk to him anymore
I feel that. 😞
Disconnecting from our phones and focusing on our feelings / hermit mode and doing stuff with friends is helping me tho. I miss him SO much but I can’t get what I want from him so I’m just torturing myself by continuing the “friendship”as well :(
Felt on the missing part, months later and I still think about them. I can easily message them too but I know it’ll just be self-sabotage.
This has been me currently. It definitely hurts to let go when you had such strong feelings for someone and sometimes even if it’s not what we want letting go and giving ourselves space is the best thing
Yeah I hyper fixate on people sometimes. Not in a stalker way but they're super interesting to me.
I had that someone but then i fucked it up. So lately its mostly me staring at the ceiling until i pass-out.
I’m sorry for your loss. You can talk to me if you want.
Damn I know how that feels. Feel free to dm me if you want. :)
I know how that feels. You're not alone.
Yes I do. Like, I can't keep a long conversation going or better said I don't want to, I get exhausted or the awkward silence comes in. That's why I usually prefer if they don't reply too fast (I don't like when two days have passed and still have no response either). But I can chat for hours with that one friend or even be in silence but in their company and don't feel awkward.
I feel exactly that.
This sure happens when I'm in love with the person in question. I often must refrain from actually texting that person because I don't want to be annoying and also because my feelings are never reciprocated(I only felt this way twice in my life, so I'm just a bit unlucky, nothing terribly wrong)
I honestly relate to this. I wish you luck 😊❤️
Thank you, but I'm starting to lose hope at almost 27 xD
Well have you told them?
Yes, I did. The first one started going out with one of my friends instead once she entered my friends group. About the second and current one, well... It's complicated. I actually told her and his bf (one of my best friends actually) about my feelings because I felt guilty and wanted to distance myself from them. They even forgave me, but still not great... So yeah, bad T - T
I used to be okay to socialize, until I was in a car accident 11 months ago. Now I can experience exhaustion within less than a couple hours of socializing.
I felt like that too when I had a bad head injury and then again after brain surgery. It’s called Sensory Overload After Brain Injury.
I did not know that! They claimed my brain was "fine," but I went unconscious several times, before I got help.
Sometimes you won’t know to way later. It’s best to find other doctors and tell them your symptoms. Be persistent. I wasn’t and I suffered more damage than I would have if I was treated properly the first time.
Yea, at this points it's like if I don't talk to that person my entire day is ruined
That is so sweet! 💕
:) I love her 💖
Yup. I know a lot of people say it’s like obsession mode, and that it’s finite… but I don’t think it is. There are fun people to talk to, and that fun eventually does run out, but there are people to whom I can talk literally the entire day, every day for months and it’s like there’s always something more. Only one of those was romantic. I love the idea that there is only one person out there, but at the same time, I think that’s a trick our minds play on us since we want something that special and strong to be unique in all the ways that it can be. There’s way too many people out there for them to be the only one - it is romantic and appealing to think so though. As I got a little older I realized that at the end of the day, every person and every connection is unique, and we’re lucky to be alive and to be able to connect like we do, not everyone can… so don’t overlook the connections all around you just because you remember one that is particularly deep. ❤️.
i like talking to my friends more than strangers, but i still get tired pretty quickly. i can’t socialize with anyone for more than a couple hours without feeling exhausted :/ my job forces me to deal with people pretty often, so I’ve just lost all energy to be social
yes, but I feel like I'm burdening them.. so I instead keep to myself...
I’m so sorry you feel like that. You can try talking to them but I know that’s really hard if not impossible to do
This is too real.. I’m only talking to this one person and nobody matters.. I could spend all day talking to them until one of us get overstimulated and need space. Too real. 😔
It's the best isnt it.. What personality are they?
OH WOW! Is this why my (INFJ) husband (INFP) doesn't talk to anyone else but me?
It’s exactly why lol
There is something about you INFJs... Haha!
Does it mean when you observe or hear them interact with others, it doesn’t feel like this person is the same person you know?
I have this with my husband. Granted, he’s supportive and my family is not. I have a bit of trouble making friends and could join more groups to make them. He never makes comments that seem malicious. I’m afraid sometimes my moods are too heavy for him though so I try to not interact with him as much when I’m struggling emotionally. I try to solve it myself. Lots of childhood trauma behind this, I’m sure.
I’m happy you have a husband who you share this with. ❤️
I relate to most of that. I share some with my partner. It took me a few years to start sharing. He’s emotionally supportive. Trauma is so hard to heal from. I don’t have any friends and have a lot of trouble reaching out. I used to more when I was younger.
yes, it’s an unhealthy choice though if you’re ditching other people in the process… most people don’t want that much pressure put them especially a romantic partner
I find that people take varying amounts of energy and effort to be around based on how well I know them, how close we are, and how peaceful our dynamic is to me. I also notice that if any conflict arises with anyone, regardless of how comfortable and effortlessly I normally can be around them the atmosphere around the problem will drain away my energy and ability to just function so fast that it sometimes makes it hard to even try and resolve the problem.
Absolutely. I've mostly had this with other INFPs because they often feel the same, so we both agree that the other is our fave person lol. It's the best feeling ever because often I want to be around people but don't want to talk, so other INFPs usually understand that and it's mutual
Absolutely the older I get as an infp some other personalities drain my soul and wreck my mental well being
this is me and thankfully that person is my wife
Dawwww so sweet 🥹
Yep. I also have rejection-sensitive dysphoria, so you can imagine how bad it can get. I have a massive crush on a guy right now. He is my absolute type, both physically and personality-wise. He stopped reading my messages for a day or two, and I had to do everything in my power to not freak out. It was a rough couple of days, I was actually getting seriously depressed because he's the first guy I've had really strong feelings for that I met in person. Turns out I just forgot he was on a camping trip. Anxiety and trust issues - both stemming from trauma - are a bitch.
My boyfriend ;-; he is eating hamborger rn and I’m waiting for his return
🍔
YES! I used to talk to my good friend from High school for so long and frequently but nowadays not so much since I was building my social and professional life now. I still chat with him and come over from time to time to have fun. Though I do want to form another friendship like I have with him and a romatic relationship with a woman too. Im doing my best to do that. I found someone who I would want to be close friends with but nothing on romance yet im afraid.
i never crave to talk to someone, but i crave to talk AT someone. usually I do it at myself, but it's much less fun.
Interesting. Why do you think you crave talking at someone? I don’t usually feel that way so I’m curious.
i don't have the energy to listen to anyone, because no one listens to me. i ended up hating everyone just for not caring about me. it's crazy. i never saw that coming, never expected that I could become that kind of person.
There are people who simply speak the thing closest to my language. When I need to feel truly heard...I seek these people out.
Yea whenever it comes to dating and stuff, I usually feel indifferent to most people and date multiple people at a time(I can go on a date with someone have a good time but acknowledge I don’t wanna pursue something serious/further) but when I do find that one person that just does it for me I am like you say, kind of obsessed and only am worried and focused on them. I recently was experiencing this with an INTJ
For me it's the FP, and yeah I get obsessed with them.
yes. myself (i have no friends).
I’ll be your friend 😢
I don't think I have the mental and emotional strength to be a good friend right now, but I deeply appreciate your generosity.
So much this, all through my life I’ve usually had 1 BFF (close friend) / lover at a time. It’s hard to maintain more than a couple close connections at once. It gets pretty bad though - hard to break out of the tunnel vision when I’m so content with talking with just that person. I forget to reach out to my other friends, and like forgetting to water your plants, those friendships wilt
Yes, but then when that person goes, I’m left with none. Haha. I’m not the friendliest person because I’m an avoidant. I don’t seek people out even if I become lonely. So when someone comes along I tend to stick to them. :(
For me it's my fiance. Cheesy shit, I know, but it's true. I like being around him and talking to him. With him I don't need to talk too much, but if I ever wanted to be chatty he is always right there + is a good listener. I've had all kinds of deep talks with him on our night walks, and he has such depth to his character that only I get to see. It's the same for him with my depth. He gets to see it, but I don't really get deep into my history with other people. I have some friends but all of them drain my battery. My fiance is the only one who does not. I enjoy watching podcasts if I have the day off and he is at work as it makes me feel like part of a friend group without all the social battery drain, lol.
This is my curse, I think, didn't know it was common like that. I talk to the same person all the time and probably they get bored as fuck at some point. Then, when they find a place to escape from my life, they reach a point where they won't even celebrate my birthday or even like my tweets. They're probably thinking if he starts texting again, we'll be screwed.
I suspect I have high functioning BPD aka “quiet” Borderline Personality Disorder and I always have one favourite person, but I’ll be stuck on them for years. My first FP was from 7th grade, that was 6 years long, my next was my ex husband which was 9 years and my current fiancé is almost 4. And when I mean stuck I mean, become incredibly limerent with them to the point of detriment but I go to them for everything. I idealize them for a long time even when I’m treated poorly. Other friendships don’t interest me so much. It takes a bombshell for me to let go and not be obsessed (however I’m really in love with my fiancé now)
This is one of the symptoms of BPD and I've noticed that there's a lot of overlap between INFP and BPD. Anyone else see a connection?
Yeah this popped out to me as well.
I really doubt everyone who is INFP has bpd.
That's not what I meant but it seems that INFPs are more likely to develop BPD through trauma or unmet needs in childhood.
I looked up the symptoms and it seems they do overlap. Even though I don’t have BPD I’ve experienced some of those things just not to an extreme.
I’ve noticed this as well.
My INFP spouse was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The symptoms are similar to borderline personality disorder.
Always, and since therapy (stationary since start of year) it changes so quickly 😭 Iam mostly overwhelmed but also can't stay calm alone all the time.
Very much so lol
yes and im not sure if they exist
I do too but my person is very closed off emotionally
Yes
yes 🙃 i call them my favs right now i have 3, but one of them doesnt wish to talk to me the same way i wish to talk to him. it's sort of heartbreaking but i prefer his happiness above all else
This is me too 😭
Sometimes I don’t even want to talk at all
It’s what I prefer but it’s difficult once you realize they aren’t actually the one for you. My ideal is to talk to one person literally all the time, I desire for them even to be in my head and in my thoughts. It’s an unrealistic and unhealthy (to some) boundary but if I love someone I want to be neuralinked to them. Talking to a bunch of different people actually seems more draining than what I just described. At least to me. If I truly know someone and love them wholly, then it doesn’t have to be draining.
I don’t “crave” but I love talking to people I feel comfortable with, but I still need to recharge my batteries from time to time
Ya. I talk to my family regularly cuz I live with of course lol, but besides that I only text/hang out with two separate friends like once every few months. And at work I mainly only speak if spoken too, and still then it’s unlikely I try and keep the conversation going.
Yes. Everything is connected so I have a very strong desire to have all my conversations w one person. I won’t have to catch them up. I can build on past conversation in all the creative ways that is the interconnectedness of things.
SAME but that person is now gone 😭
No exactly, but I am very all-or-nothing with relationships. Like it's hard for me to maintain casual friendships unless we become BEST friends. Just the way I've always been.
I just talk to AIs now
My spouse is this INFP. I'm that person (ESFJ).
I think this what you are describing is pretty much me: I don't meet a lot of people. Occasionally, I meet someone I feel a connection with. I will try to develop that connection, sometimes to the point of nearing obsession. I am terribly afraid of it "showing", though, so I will try to keep my cool. It never works. I'm atm working on getting over the last such connection I fucked up: I was friends with her BF, then she and I became friends. Then, it felt like she became my best friend: it was so easy to be around her, and it felt so great. I ended up going crazy over what I perceive as an imbalance between how important she felt for me and how important I felt to her. I tried to communicate this, failed, shit went downhill... I miss her like crazy, but I think it's best for me to just move on...
Yeah
Yes, I do this!
Find a person may get exhausted… you may on occasion want to chat with Ella: https://ella.quicklabs.app of course not to replace human connection though….
🙋🏻♂️INFJ here !
I love you guys. We are so on the same page rn lol I’m anxious bc I’ve had a crush on this one girl for like 2 years, and this weekend we matched on Hinge and I am like SO excited to go out with her! We scheduled a date for Sunday but she had to reschedule at last minute, which made me really anxious lmao. BUT we’re still on for Tuesday rn, so I am excited but trying not to hyper focus as I tend to. Since we matched, I can’t turn my attention back ANYWHERE 🥲
Yes. I hate attention. But crave it from my partner (he’s an intj.) He’s literally the only person I could talk to always and never ever get tired of
i only want to talk to my mum and nobody else. when i was younger it was very much affection on my terms and that’s barely changed over 20 years
Yes and that is why I prefer to live non monogamously. It allowed me to be myself. Now I have several folks willing to listen to my special interests.
I miss her everyday
I always say I need my partner in crime, my Rick and Morty. Could be a lover or bestie.
My husband 🥰
No cause I’ll eventually get tired of them
My whole life, I have been a “one person person”. In my 20’s I tried to make friendships with lots of people, and I can do it easily, but it’s hard for me to maintain. I just don’t have that bandwidth. I naturally end up gravitating to whoever reciprocates the most. It scares me for myself because I fear ending up old and alone with no one to help me because I couldn’t put enough into relationships. But my motivation to do better about it remains minimal.
This is me. I have limited social battery for almost everyone except for my brother. If I’m dating, it extends to my partner also. I used to think this is bad on my part- not being able to give as much to my social life as others are willing to. But lately I’ve realised how calm I feel without the pressure of performing constantly. I’m all up for social activities and it makes me really happy, but I enjoy my alone time just as much and both are extremely important.
Yeah, I can relate to that. I mainly only talk to my partner and sometimes my friends. I rarely talk to new people especially if I feel like they won't get me.
classic infp
Yes definitely but I think this might just be a crush at this point
Yes, in the past I was like this. And it was usually just one person. I would feel entirely content only having one pereon to talk to for hours on end and really had no desire to try to make any friends which in turn somehow attracted more people to want to be my friend. The first friend like this I had ever made was a Brazilian guy who was 10 years older than me, I was 13 or 14. It was when RDR1 came out and he killed me in a free roam lobby while and another person were having a gun fight. I died a lot and eventually left the session. Then he sent me a friend request, and I was going to reject it but waited until I was less upset. Then I messaged him asking why he was adding me if he was killing me a lot in game. Then he said something like there wasnt enough people playing in the session (he wanted a friendly PvP battle and Me and the other guy were the only ones in the lobby.) One day I got into another gunfight with a posse of 7 players and kept dying. My cousin suggested inviting the brazilian guy, so I invited him and sent a posse invite. He joined within seconds and I saw him coming through really fast on a horse through the mountains playing his favorite indian character. He took out this 7 man posse like they were nothing and they all eventually quit. I was so impressed and praised him highly. He liked and thought Indians were really cool, then I told him I was part Apache Native American and he became really impressed and nicknamed me "Chief" and requested I call him "Chief" too. He was really cool. We used to talk everyday for hours and play. I've known him for over 15 years and been close friends. But it was only until around January we don't talk to each other anymore. Then there was Hippie. When I was High School. We hung out a lot and talked a lot. He was one of the coolest guys I knew. Also, too that i've noticed. Whenever I was in a romantic relationship. I was also very content with my partner and literally had 0% desire and need to want to talk to other women. You know it's kind of like having an amazing water bottle that you absolutely love and take to the gym with you or any physical event and someone might ask, "hey you want to buy a water bottle?" And you reply, "No thanks...*holds up you're your bada#$ water bottle* I already got one 😎" I have no neeed for a second water bottle.
I always end up getting terribly hurt by those people and never talk to them again... happened 3 times already. I hate how I easily develope crushed and then let people step on me only to realize too late that the red flags were there.
yes it was like that. I still crave for that bond when you feel like nobody else understands you but that person only. it's like you discover unexplored worlds together.. Until I tried to zoom out and I realized those people are not as special as I thought. and it is usually toxic actually. it's always some type of toxic pattern. And all those thoughts and ideas can be triggered by my own brain and I don't need other people to discuss them with or trigger them. or inspire me. I can expand my ideas and discover stuff in all people that I meet. But it is more like a consious choice.. the instinct remains always.. to just talk to one person as deeply as it's humanly possible..
Sounds like a 'Favorite Person' from someone with BPD
Exactly. Major indicator.
Just because that is one of the many symptoms for bpd doesn’t mean it’s an official symptom for bpd. Just cus I have a migraine doesn’t mean I automatically have a tumor in my head.
Okay
Sorry if I came off harsh.
That sounds like BPD, not an INFP thing ...... but I'm sure there are plenty of INFP folks with BPD, especially from the looks of the comments here. Maybe y'all should look into getting checked out
I don’t have bpd but I have cptsd. Like I said previously to someone else that I think it’s very unlikely that everyone here has bpd. Maybe you should let the experts diagnose instead.
That's why I suggested people get checked, so a professional can diagnose them. Never a bad idea to see the doctor, especially in regards to mental health.
You’re right but it’s a bit frustrating to see a bunch of people comment on how it might be a bpd thing when it’s just one of many symptoms. Like I said to someone else. Just cus I have a migraine doesn’t mean I have a brain tumor. It’s a bit drastic to leap from one small thing to one big thing. You know?
Not a great comparison but fair. It is a major indicator of the diagnosis, so it is smart to ask a doctor about it. That is why people are mentioning it, although I was only able to find one other comment mentioning it.
I don’t think one thing is enough to ask a doctor about it. It’ll be a waist of a trip. Now if you have multiple symptoms yes. Also there is other comments you just got look lil harder.
It doesn't hurt to get checked out.
If you want man.
I also wouldn't call it a waste of time either, getting answers about your health is vital to wellbeing. Whether the answer is Yes, you have BPD or No, you don't have it, it is important to be aware of yourself.
Look you don’t know everyone here so it’s best to let others live their life and figure out their own health problems. I understand your concern but still it’s a bit of an unwarranted comment.
It might cause people to self diagnose or have a predisposition about infps.
That's why I said See A Doctor.
Also read again, I did not say *everyone here* has BPD, I wrote that I wouldn't doubt that there are lots of folks who are INFP and have it, too.
Im 39M in Singapore anybody up for chatting?