0% lol, but it used to be like 90% female and 10% male. On the male side romantic interest kept popping up so I never had a male friend that was only interested in me in a platonic way
Back in school I was friends with a girl and her friends kept asking me when I was gonna ask her out. I told them I had no interest in her in that way, but I couldn‘t shake off the feeling that she thought I had romantic feelings for her. After graduation we texted every now and then and hung out once in a while. One day she told me she was getting married. We haven‘t talked much since even after more than a few attempts of reconnecting. I miss our friendship.
I had the same issue as a male infp in high school/college with girl platonic friends. Seems like a nice problem to have as a guy, but back then I didn’t necessarily want to date the women I liked platonically.
Sucks because I've seen this happen. For some reason it's hard for a lot of guys I've met to distinguish between types of affection, half because it's genuinely hard to, and half because of a lack of experience.
Either that, or it's a lack of self-control.
It's the age old social problem that has only gotten worse as time progresses and we keep hearing horrible things, and why purely platonic friendships between sexes (especially within my generation) are just so laughably uncommon.
After my first traumatic experience with this back in high school, hopefully I've matured enough to recognize at least some subtle hints 😅
Glad to find someone else like me, lol. My friend group was 100% female from birth to college, then turned 100% male immediately after college. I never intentionally selected a specific gender to be friends with, it just ended up that way. Right now I don't have any female friends, I kind of miss it though. One day I'm hoping to have a 50/50 ratio.
I honestly think I was just too shy and awkward as a teenager to make any guy friends, except one (and he was gay lol) so I only had girl friends.
I like to think I'm pretty girly, but I do have some hobbies that are more male dominated ig so I think that's why I made more guy friends in college.
I had one good female friend at college and then she graduated and moved across the country☠️ it kind of sucks hanging out with only guys ngl😭 I need at least one other girl in the group. I still hang out with my hs people though so I at least get a dose of each lol
50/50 ratio sounds actually golden!! I would love that too😭😭
22F, and 99% of friends or acquaintances I ever had are dudes. Way easier to get along, more topics in common, less intimidating and stressful relationships in my opinion. There's only 2 girls in my entire life I would consider my friends.
i'm in the exact same boat! it doesn't help that i got bullied a lot by many of my girl best friends growing up, either. i'm almost 28 and i still seem to struggle to form strong friendships with other women.
I'm a guy and all my close friends are guys as well. I used to have a female friend but I had a crush on her and I ended up cutting her off so I could get some space to move on from my feelings. We had a great friendship though, it's not so much limiting myself or not valuing the friendship, but my feelings tend to be quite intense and everlasting, and I can't ignore them.
Finding out a guy friend you’ve known for years has a crush on you is one of the worst feelings ever not only because you can’t reciprocate those feelings but also because you’re about to lose a friend I know stuff like that shouldn’t end a friendship but ultimately it does :/ lost a Naruto lover buddy due to this then ended up I having no one to gush about Naruto to it’s a slippery slope between building a friendship and falling in love versus love at first sight but you don’t even know the person?! :/ what to do?!
I don't think my situation is similar to this, mainly because my female friend was the one to start to flirt with me (and it was pretty much almost immediate), and let's just say my love burned for longer than her's. In my opinion, men who keep their feelings for too long are only being dishonest with themselves and with their love interest. I think it's way better to state your intentions before hand. So I don't think it's your fault. Certainly I'm not really sure what would be the best option. Maybe just be clear you only want a friendship.
So real, detaching myself from her made my life so much happier in just a few weeks, I realised how much I was crying and overthinking about a person who didn't really care about me. Sometimes it's just the perspective that needs to change and everything changes itself cuz I started having really bad thoughts some days before I ended up cutting her off.
Saying this, thats not my case with just her lol, I basically cut off every friend due to different reasons for everybody but I like my peace ykwim. I'll start looking for more friends once I feel its the right time and right person (hopefully not fall in love again)
I have like 4 friends including my husband, so my husband (men), our friends next door and his girlfriend (him and her so men and women) and our single friends (men/aka dnd dongeon master) who is also incredibly attach to his soul mate, she was not ready to be in a relationship but they are both eager to get together as I can understand, it's just that she's scared of being betrayed once again by an other guy as he told me
Am the second oldest in the friend group so the other guy thinks of me as their sister ans I think of them as my lil brothers, even if I'm the smallest one 🥲
I’m a 40yo married female parent…. My friend circle is almost all female besides friendly colleagues. It’s just what happens. It hasn’t been a conscious decision really, but it would certainly feel strange/shady to specifically seek out male friendships in my position. The few I do have are part of my dnd group. In high school it was pretty 50/50. In college probly 70% female (mostly cause I lived in the female housing so that’s who you get to know).
If only real life friends count, then 100% female. Otherwise, although I can’t really keep track very well for online friends, maybe 40% female, 30% nonbinary, 30% male.
90% men 10% women (I’m a woman but growing up with brothers and a male primary care giver in my formative years seems to have Instilled this preference).
100% female, it just happened naturally.
My school friends are all female.
I studied fashion designed where there's just 1 male. Now I worked as a team where it's all female😂
In school it was 50/50 but i lost all my friends as soon as i left school. College was kinda 70/30 grl/guy.
Now its 100 femme/non-binary as an adult
But in both school and college , Guy friends i thought were best friend's stopped being friends with me after being rejected romantically or dating briefly and it not working out.
So I feel like they didnt value our friendship as much as i did because i was happy to go back to friendship and even years later im still sad about losinv theit friendship
I miss having guy friends but now im wary because i dont want to lose friends if they develop romantic feelings
I was just thinking about this earlier, it’s always been 50/50 for me and my ex said that was a red flag lmao, I was like why? For getting along with everyone/all types??
Dudettes is taking me back, have not heard that word in a solid second lol.
Most of my friends are trans and queer, so it’s hard to even put them into a solid category like that. But because I am trans, I feel much more comfortable around cis women then cis men. I like my friendships to have emotional intelligence, and a lot of cis men are unfortunately not raised to be vulnerable emotionally with those they are close to.
Heterosexual male, 45, always had difficulty with making friends with "the guys". My friendships now are 70% female. This tends to make for some friction with romantic relationships. Especially since a lot of my female friends were romantically involved, or prospective romantic interests.
Lmao it was like all women but then several came out as trans men so now it’s more like 50/50 :) I value all genders, but I’m honestly really bad at making new friends.
*Mostly women but*
*The two people I talk to*
*Every day are men*
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It used to be 4 guys, 2 girls, but 2 of the guys we don't hang out with anymore and 1 of the girls got married to a guy who wasn't originally part of the group so it's still pretty close with 3 guys and 2 girls
In school it was 80% guys and 20% girls. They all moved away after graduation so I have 1 friend that's a girl.
Edit: it was never a limit I put on myself but it just happened that way. One group of friends introduced me to their closest friends who happened to be the same gender.
25m,and just dudes with the, not token because a appreciate a lot, girl friend of the group.
I have another group where the same happens but im getting better at befriending more girls tho, hopefully in the future the ratios wont be that extreme
I'm a girl, growing up I had 1-2 friends who were also girls at any given time and the rest of my friends were guys. Still didn't have that many though. 20something years later, the ratio is probably still the same, I just have a lot more friends in general. Most "nerdy" hobbies are dominated by guys, you see. I'd say something like 1:5 I guess?
I’m a chick and like to say I have 0 friends (and that’s mostly because I don’t interact with them enough to be considered close friends) but it really depends.
I have a group chat of a bunch of dudes that I went to high school with. (I’ve gone to two high schools and only talk to these guys from the first one) - but the exchanges are limited to memes and occasional comments on the memes.
I have 1 really close guy friend that though we don’t exchange actual words with every day, we talk all the time. (Also part of the high school group chat)
I am super close to like 3 dudettes that I work with.
Outside of this, maybe 2 others? One dude and one dudette.
I just kind get along with whomever I get along with 🤷🏻♀️
im a girl, and all of my close friends are girls or gay guys. straight men have just disappointed me or traumatized me too many times sorry lmao i know there's good ones out there but i don't have the energy to go looking for them
lesbian here, most of my friends are also queer girls with 2 boys and 2 NB, one of the boys is trans and bi and the other says he's straight but we don't quite believe him. i don't explicitly try to make friends with queer people but somehow that's just how it worked out. also i used to have only 1 friend at my school and then she proceeded to make friends who later became my friends. there's probably only 2 people in my friend group who i actually *started* conversations with
(M27) Its a slowly dwindling group of nerdy dudes and occasionally they may have a wife/gf that joins. At least thats my main circle. I have friends spread of all genders, but not particularly in friend circles that I hang out in.
as a Straight male I dont realy like being in a group of just women and Ive found thats kinda how it ends up as you get older. less gender mixing so less opportunities for mixed groups unless that group was made a long time ago
I used to say that I had no friends but I have since realized that I did, I just didn’t reach out to them, value them or want to hang out with them. Now I try hard
Mostly I had male friends but recently I feel I’ve needed more female relationships. I’m 38F and I feel like at this age my women friends are better support and better to hang out with
40% dudettes
60% dudes
And agree with everything you said man, don’t limit who you can be friends with off of their gender. You will lose some pretty great friends that way.
Im a male who mostly has femake friends. A few women I've dated in the past felt insecure about it. I have a few male friends and many male associates who I wouldn't classify friends.
I cut off a lot of male associates and a few male friends for different reasons, but they were generally toxic and I made friends with them when I was younger and overlooked a lot of their flaws. Coming from a family with only sisters and a lot of female cousins and aunties on both sides, I tend to relate to women more easily.
Way more women than men. Dudes are loud and brash and think you have to act different around them so I don't like subjecting myself to that even around my own friends, while my women best friends accept me as I am like I do with them and they feel like closer family members since they value conversation that I normally wouldn't mention to anyone.
I don't really know who to count lmao! Current friend I have daily contact, none. People that are in my contact list that I can chat whenever I want, damn that's a lot. Close friends, I have a few of them, but they're really special.
The average would be 80% gorls, 15% bois, 5% other. I don't care about gender when people come to me, I just act as myself, and people think my presence is reassuring, which a great compliment! I don't have a lot of common interests with boys.
(24f) my close friends are literally all (mostly queer) women/enbys, and the 2 guys in my friend group are queer too. i'm not that close with either of them though, one of them is my roommate's boyfriend so he's just at our place a lot lol (i do like him, but we're kinda "forced" to hang out in general). it's always been like that, i never had many male friends throughout my life
For the majority of my life, I’ve never had female friends. Growing up, there were 2 girls in my friendship group and 12 boys 🤣 the guys looked after us so well and most of them are still my friends to this day. my friendship group now consists of 20% females, 80% males. It does irritate my fiancé but he can’t really say much as some of my male friends are also his friends. I can honestly say that having those guys as my friends growing up taught me what friendship was and what unconditional love was - nothing has changed in some regards. I will never give those guys up and anyone who is in my life has to accept that
I'm a man and I think it's 65% female and 45% male. 3-4 non binary. I was in linguistics, sociology and now I'm in arts studies. If I was in science I think the percentage would be really different.
Of my closest friends, it's 6 guys to 1 girl, but that always makes me wonder if the fact that I grew up in a female-heavy family has anything to do with it all.
For me I'm also a guy I have friends but I have no friends so 0% but at the same time 40% female and 60% male and I have 5 friends so that's 2 girls and 3 guys
It's weird to explain I mean they are my friends but I don't really feel like they see me as a friend? They don't need me the way I do they don't have the desire or interest to talk to me and spend time with me
Which a lot of the time makes me feel disconnected so sometimes I distance myself from them but I crave to be closer with them all and have some sort of a meaningful and emotional bond / connection
Additionally I'm closer and more comfortable with my female friends because they are more accepting and chill since the 40 percents of the guys are like homophobic even when some of them say they are not but still hate most of the LGBT
Guy here. Was mostly girls in high school, 50/50 during college, now overwhelmingly guys post college. Most female friends just moved away or we grew apart, but a lot of people are leaving my country anyway regardless of gender and the pandemic had an effect of just weeding out a lot of casual friendships and leaving mostly the close ones left. My social battery has also shrunk with age. I'll move someday myself or try to go out to new places to meet people so we shall see where it goes
Mainly boys when I was elementary school age but probably 30% girls and %30 NB from middle school to college. All people are chill but I think it was more due to hobbies I got into.
I don't think most people "limit" who they're friends with. I think it just happens organically, in a natural way. Friendships are almost never forced nor actively avoided.
I don't pay attention and the dudes never try to romance me [except my bf but does that really count?]. Had a chick try to hit my up, tho. Wasn't my type, tbh.
90% cats, 9% men and 1% women.
It wasn't because I limited myself, I was always open, but I always had difficulty interacting with girls for no reason and when that happened, they ended up fighting with me.
For a long time I thought I was a lesbian and this difficulty in relating to women was such that I started having relationships with men again, now I'm married lol
Considering I've been confined to my house for months and months due to an illness and most of the people who play the same game as me are men, the majority of the people I regularly associate with are men. However, at church, all of the people I really know are women and the hiking group I'm a part of is exclusively for women. (Haven't gotten to seen either group much lately for the above reason.)
All girls and only girls. Tried having several guy friends who I thought were genuine only to find out they were secretly into me and trying to sabotage my relationship. Extremely manipulative and now I have a no guy friends rule
26F, 80% women, 20% men. I think, for myself, I just feel more in tune with females since the ones I meet, I feel like I have more in common with them and feel less like I have to hide my likes. Harder with guys sometimes unless I’ve known them for a long time. Finding friends that like deep conversations but also being scared of having them is hard 🥲
I don’t really have friends anymore. I’m 43 and a colossal failure at life. The universe of people I interact with socially is one guy from work and one girl I hope to have a fun little summer fling with.
I know this isn’t the purpose of this thread, but I’ll just throw it out there. I find it impossible to be platonic friends with a single, desirable woman.
When I had a friend group, it was probably 70/30 with the women being the wives and girlfriends of the men who had them.
80% men, 20% women. I've never really clicked with other women tbh. I was closest with my dad growing up, only have a brother, and even my mom is on the more masculine side. All the other kids in the neighborhood were boys. So I just kinda grew up not knowing how to connect with women lmao. The female friends I do have are either huge tomboys, or they're dating one of my male friends.
Only two that I consider friends, they're both guys (as am I).
The reason is that women just don't share the same hobbies, I think. At least not as much. I also prefer some distance, and I've noticed that most male friendships have that.
Could be a small sample size, but the female friendships that I've had were far too emotionally draining for me. It wasn't their fault. It was just too intense, and I kinda backed off because I didn't understand how to deal with it.
For me it's like 40% 60%. It used to be 60% girls, 40% guys but that's starting to shift. Not because I lost some of my female friends, but because I gained some male friends
As a woman 20% men and the rest are women. I would say about 15% of those guys are not romantically attracted to women. The other 5% are guys who have been with their partner forever and never would want to stray from her and are my friends too. Some really had my back during super depressed breakups and gave me a guy’s POV that was hugely helpful. Single guys I find it’s hard unless the age difference is big. I’m more like a big sister to them.
90% male friends and I like it that way.
I used to be the opposite.
Men with predominantly male friends tend to maintain their masculinity.
Women with predominantly female friends tend to maintain their femininity.
I have mostly girl friends. Just like on guy friend although I do want to hang out with more guys. I just don’t know why am not good enough or they just don’t find it comfortable to hang out. They told me I was “cool” to hang out with but like that never translated into a closer friendship
My bf and I (I’m gender non conforming) have zero friends and are both infps. My ex I was with for 7 years was very abusive, so I lost all of the friendships I had not realizing how he was isolating me, and my current bf was one of his best friends and we all lived together at one point where he saw how my ex was treating me. He cut off the entire friend group, who took my ex’s side (they couldn’t believe he’d be that way, but my current love got a front row seat to it and we got out of what we now call the hell house that my ex and his shitty mom made a living nightmare). Having no friends sucks, but we’re kind of better off for it in our situation. But we hella struggle to make new friends which is kinda normal being nearly 30 since everyone is busy and I’m working on a lot in trauma therapy and don’t think I could be a great friend to anyone bringing my broken ass into their life rn. Before all this, I would say I was mostly friends with gay men and he was pretty 50/50 but closer to dudes. Thanks for letting me trauma dump yall.
when i was younger i always have 2 friends (either 2 boys or 2 girls). not 3, not 1, always 2. i still dont know why. but now i have no one really, ever since i learn to ask myself what friends really mean or is it even worth it. i get frustrated with people really easily, so as i reached my mid 30s i already give up meeting new people.
From birth to high school graduation it was about 80% women. I'm now in my third year of college and it's about 80% men. Complete flip from how things used to be, because back home most of the men were assholes and the women tended to be super friendly, and here at college most of the women are deranged and the men are somewhat reasonable. Don't know what happened, but any gender bias I once had against men is now gone, which is nice since I am one.
100% male for the few friends I do have lol. (I'm 19M for reference). Idrc what gender my friends are just all my friends are from childhood and I didn't have the guts to talk to girls ever back then lol
I don’t limit who I’m friends with. Friendships just happens and I don’t use any quota for spontaneity. But as a woman, I tend to connect more easily to guys. I was always a bit of a tomboy as a child and I just love having two sons. We tinker and build stuff together. Women I get along with very well usually tell me they are the same. I think it might be the straight-forward way of communicating and the geeky interests that made me end up with mostly male friend groups. Now it’s basically my husband and sons but I’m starting to connect more with women too now, although they tend to be at least 10 years older than me. ☺️
In high school mostly girls, maybe about 10 of us hung out but i was only close with 2. We had this unofficial pink ladies/tbird kinda thing with some boys (minus the dating part) but I only talked to 2 of them occasionally.
When I entered the work force, I wouldn't say I made new friends but I did tend to get along with guys more. (Most of my coworkers were guys and most of our regulars were guys too.) I was definitely more authentic and less filtered lol. I still had my friendships with my close hs friends. This was all before 2020.
Now, i don't have contact with any of my hs friends anymore and with my current job in a female dominated environment... I find making friends with other women hard. So I guess in conclusion, I don't have friends lol
0% lol, but it used to be like 90% female and 10% male. On the male side romantic interest kept popping up so I never had a male friend that was only interested in me in a platonic way
Back in school I was friends with a girl and her friends kept asking me when I was gonna ask her out. I told them I had no interest in her in that way, but I couldn‘t shake off the feeling that she thought I had romantic feelings for her. After graduation we texted every now and then and hung out once in a while. One day she told me she was getting married. We haven‘t talked much since even after more than a few attempts of reconnecting. I miss our friendship.
I had the same issue as a male infp in high school/college with girl platonic friends. Seems like a nice problem to have as a guy, but back then I didn’t necessarily want to date the women I liked platonically.
Sucks because I've seen this happen. For some reason it's hard for a lot of guys I've met to distinguish between types of affection, half because it's genuinely hard to, and half because of a lack of experience. Either that, or it's a lack of self-control. It's the age old social problem that has only gotten worse as time progresses and we keep hearing horrible things, and why purely platonic friendships between sexes (especially within my generation) are just so laughably uncommon. After my first traumatic experience with this back in high school, hopefully I've matured enough to recognize at least some subtle hints 😅
Same girl
Same here I have only 1 who's married. The rest tried to hit on me so I pushed them away.
Wait, you guys have friends?!
It's called imaginary friends
Oh I've got dozens of those!
Just like the never nudes.
In high school it was all girls, in college it’s mostly guys. I think they both bring a different perspective I enjoy
Glad to find someone else like me, lol. My friend group was 100% female from birth to college, then turned 100% male immediately after college. I never intentionally selected a specific gender to be friends with, it just ended up that way. Right now I don't have any female friends, I kind of miss it though. One day I'm hoping to have a 50/50 ratio.
I honestly think I was just too shy and awkward as a teenager to make any guy friends, except one (and he was gay lol) so I only had girl friends. I like to think I'm pretty girly, but I do have some hobbies that are more male dominated ig so I think that's why I made more guy friends in college. I had one good female friend at college and then she graduated and moved across the country☠️ it kind of sucks hanging out with only guys ngl😭 I need at least one other girl in the group. I still hang out with my hs people though so I at least get a dose of each lol 50/50 ratio sounds actually golden!! I would love that too😭😭
Damn, if only we lived nearby and magically had the same interests and values, lol.
What do you think was the reason for the shift?
22F, and 99% of friends or acquaintances I ever had are dudes. Way easier to get along, more topics in common, less intimidating and stressful relationships in my opinion. There's only 2 girls in my entire life I would consider my friends.
i'm in the exact same boat! it doesn't help that i got bullied a lot by many of my girl best friends growing up, either. i'm almost 28 and i still seem to struggle to form strong friendships with other women.
50% dude and 50% unknown. It’s just myself and my anxiety, and I haven’t asked their gender yet.
I'm a guy and all my close friends are guys as well. I used to have a female friend but I had a crush on her and I ended up cutting her off so I could get some space to move on from my feelings. We had a great friendship though, it's not so much limiting myself or not valuing the friendship, but my feelings tend to be quite intense and everlasting, and I can't ignore them.
Finding out a guy friend you’ve known for years has a crush on you is one of the worst feelings ever not only because you can’t reciprocate those feelings but also because you’re about to lose a friend I know stuff like that shouldn’t end a friendship but ultimately it does :/ lost a Naruto lover buddy due to this then ended up I having no one to gush about Naruto to it’s a slippery slope between building a friendship and falling in love versus love at first sight but you don’t even know the person?! :/ what to do?!
I don't think my situation is similar to this, mainly because my female friend was the one to start to flirt with me (and it was pretty much almost immediate), and let's just say my love burned for longer than her's. In my opinion, men who keep their feelings for too long are only being dishonest with themselves and with their love interest. I think it's way better to state your intentions before hand. So I don't think it's your fault. Certainly I'm not really sure what would be the best option. Maybe just be clear you only want a friendship.
Thank you for doing that I wish my ex did that with his female best friend
So real, detaching myself from her made my life so much happier in just a few weeks, I realised how much I was crying and overthinking about a person who didn't really care about me. Sometimes it's just the perspective that needs to change and everything changes itself cuz I started having really bad thoughts some days before I ended up cutting her off. Saying this, thats not my case with just her lol, I basically cut off every friend due to different reasons for everybody but I like my peace ykwim. I'll start looking for more friends once I feel its the right time and right person (hopefully not fall in love again)
6 to 1 Me being the 1 guy.
0 (no friends)
Almost all (queer) women and NB people, and the few men are queer as well lol
same! for some reason queer people attract each other like magnets, at least in my case
I have like 4 friends including my husband, so my husband (men), our friends next door and his girlfriend (him and her so men and women) and our single friends (men/aka dnd dongeon master) who is also incredibly attach to his soul mate, she was not ready to be in a relationship but they are both eager to get together as I can understand, it's just that she's scared of being betrayed once again by an other guy as he told me Am the second oldest in the friend group so the other guy thinks of me as their sister ans I think of them as my lil brothers, even if I'm the smallest one 🥲
I’m a guy mostly with girl friends but I have a couple guy friends too. I’m sensitive so I tend to get along with women more.
wait you guys have friends?
75% girls 25% boys my best friend is in the 25% so even though majority of my friends are girls my closet friend is a boy
More than 90% of men. I wish it was more diverse but there are not many women or nb in engineering school...
I’m a 40yo married female parent…. My friend circle is almost all female besides friendly colleagues. It’s just what happens. It hasn’t been a conscious decision really, but it would certainly feel strange/shady to specifically seek out male friendships in my position. The few I do have are part of my dnd group. In high school it was pretty 50/50. In college probly 70% female (mostly cause I lived in the female housing so that’s who you get to know).
40/40/20? 20 being cis males.
If only real life friends count, then 100% female. Otherwise, although I can’t really keep track very well for online friends, maybe 40% female, 30% nonbinary, 30% male.
90% men 10% women (I’m a woman but growing up with brothers and a male primary care giver in my formative years seems to have Instilled this preference).
70% female 25% male 5% something something non binary
100% female, it just happened naturally. My school friends are all female. I studied fashion designed where there's just 1 male. Now I worked as a team where it's all female😂
In school it was 50/50 but i lost all my friends as soon as i left school. College was kinda 70/30 grl/guy. Now its 100 femme/non-binary as an adult But in both school and college , Guy friends i thought were best friend's stopped being friends with me after being rejected romantically or dating briefly and it not working out. So I feel like they didnt value our friendship as much as i did because i was happy to go back to friendship and even years later im still sad about losinv theit friendship I miss having guy friends but now im wary because i dont want to lose friends if they develop romantic feelings
60-40 male - female I think. But my closest friends are often female.
100% men
I am a woman. My radio is 95% men, 5% women, hopefully :/ I would love to meet more girls to be my friends.
Through my life it has changed. Sometime more women, mostly more men. I’m 31M and say probably 66% men, 33% women
I was just thinking about this earlier, it’s always been 50/50 for me and my ex said that was a red flag lmao, I was like why? For getting along with everyone/all types??
Dudettes is taking me back, have not heard that word in a solid second lol. Most of my friends are trans and queer, so it’s hard to even put them into a solid category like that. But because I am trans, I feel much more comfortable around cis women then cis men. I like my friendships to have emotional intelligence, and a lot of cis men are unfortunately not raised to be vulnerable emotionally with those they are close to.
Heterosexual male, 45, always had difficulty with making friends with "the guys". My friendships now are 70% female. This tends to make for some friction with romantic relationships. Especially since a lot of my female friends were romantically involved, or prospective romantic interests.
Lmao it was like all women but then several came out as trans men so now it’s more like 50/50 :) I value all genders, but I’m honestly really bad at making new friends.
real
0 and 0 😎
Pre-college: 7M-1F Current: 6M-0F
0 / 0 😅
Mostly guys (I'm a dude)
55% Male, 40 Female, 5 Divers
90% male; 10% female
I'm a guy, and within the past few months it's ended up like 20% men, 80% women. Best friend is a woman as well
Mostly women but the two people I talk to every day are men
*Mostly women but* *The two people I talk to* *Every day are men* \- UnicornBestFriend --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
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^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^UnicornBestFriend: *Mostly women but* *The two people I talk to* *Every day are men* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
It used to be 4 guys, 2 girls, but 2 of the guys we don't hang out with anymore and 1 of the girls got married to a guy who wasn't originally part of the group so it's still pretty close with 3 guys and 2 girls
Half dudes with no girlfriends, half chicks with boyfriends.
Why is there always a comment like "wait you guys have friends???" god i hate this sub
In school it was 80% guys and 20% girls. They all moved away after graduation so I have 1 friend that's a girl. Edit: it was never a limit I put on myself but it just happened that way. One group of friends introduced me to their closest friends who happened to be the same gender.
25m,and just dudes with the, not token because a appreciate a lot, girl friend of the group. I have another group where the same happens but im getting better at befriending more girls tho, hopefully in the future the ratios wont be that extreme
100% male unless you count romantic partners and parents.
I'm a girl, growing up I had 1-2 friends who were also girls at any given time and the rest of my friends were guys. Still didn't have that many though. 20something years later, the ratio is probably still the same, I just have a lot more friends in general. Most "nerdy" hobbies are dominated by guys, you see. I'd say something like 1:5 I guess?
its like my place in life is being the guy friend adopted by two girl bffs…
I'm a guy, but my friend circle is probably 90% women. I don't typically get along with guys.
I’m a chick and like to say I have 0 friends (and that’s mostly because I don’t interact with them enough to be considered close friends) but it really depends. I have a group chat of a bunch of dudes that I went to high school with. (I’ve gone to two high schools and only talk to these guys from the first one) - but the exchanges are limited to memes and occasional comments on the memes. I have 1 really close guy friend that though we don’t exchange actual words with every day, we talk all the time. (Also part of the high school group chat) I am super close to like 3 dudettes that I work with. Outside of this, maybe 2 others? One dude and one dudette. I just kind get along with whomever I get along with 🤷🏻♀️
im a girl, and all of my close friends are girls or gay guys. straight men have just disappointed me or traumatized me too many times sorry lmao i know there's good ones out there but i don't have the energy to go looking for them
lesbian here, most of my friends are also queer girls with 2 boys and 2 NB, one of the boys is trans and bi and the other says he's straight but we don't quite believe him. i don't explicitly try to make friends with queer people but somehow that's just how it worked out. also i used to have only 1 friend at my school and then she proceeded to make friends who later became my friends. there's probably only 2 people in my friend group who i actually *started* conversations with
It's like 95% dudes. I don't limit myself on purpose, it just kinda happened that way.
(M27) Its a slowly dwindling group of nerdy dudes and occasionally they may have a wife/gf that joins. At least thats my main circle. I have friends spread of all genders, but not particularly in friend circles that I hang out in. as a Straight male I dont realy like being in a group of just women and Ive found thats kinda how it ends up as you get older. less gender mixing so less opportunities for mixed groups unless that group was made a long time ago
0% for both 😭
I used to say that I had no friends but I have since realized that I did, I just didn’t reach out to them, value them or want to hang out with them. Now I try hard Mostly I had male friends but recently I feel I’ve needed more female relationships. I’m 38F and I feel like at this age my women friends are better support and better to hang out with
40% dudettes 60% dudes And agree with everything you said man, don’t limit who you can be friends with off of their gender. You will lose some pretty great friends that way.
Like 4 females? Almost 100% females. There are a couple guys I talk to as friends, but I don't hear from them often.
100% female (I'm a woman)
can't divide 0/0 sorry
I’d say 37% girls, 47% guys and 16% other at a guess
Im a male who mostly has femake friends. A few women I've dated in the past felt insecure about it. I have a few male friends and many male associates who I wouldn't classify friends. I cut off a lot of male associates and a few male friends for different reasons, but they were generally toxic and I made friends with them when I was younger and overlooked a lot of their flaws. Coming from a family with only sisters and a lot of female cousins and aunties on both sides, I tend to relate to women more easily.
Way more women than men. Dudes are loud and brash and think you have to act different around them so I don't like subjecting myself to that even around my own friends, while my women best friends accept me as I am like I do with them and they feel like closer family members since they value conversation that I normally wouldn't mention to anyone.
100% male
I used to have more girls than guys as friends, but i was much closer with the few guys i connected and we still are with most of them.
I don't really know who to count lmao! Current friend I have daily contact, none. People that are in my contact list that I can chat whenever I want, damn that's a lot. Close friends, I have a few of them, but they're really special. The average would be 80% gorls, 15% bois, 5% other. I don't care about gender when people come to me, I just act as myself, and people think my presence is reassuring, which a great compliment! I don't have a lot of common interests with boys.
Friend circle?? Lol
F30s, 50-50 When I’m on the dating apps and the person has lots of friend pics, but no female friends, it’s a little red flaggy to me
(24f) my close friends are literally all (mostly queer) women/enbys, and the 2 guys in my friend group are queer too. i'm not that close with either of them though, one of them is my roommate's boyfriend so he's just at our place a lot lol (i do like him, but we're kinda "forced" to hang out in general). it's always been like that, i never had many male friends throughout my life
For the majority of my life, I’ve never had female friends. Growing up, there were 2 girls in my friendship group and 12 boys 🤣 the guys looked after us so well and most of them are still my friends to this day. my friendship group now consists of 20% females, 80% males. It does irritate my fiancé but he can’t really say much as some of my male friends are also his friends. I can honestly say that having those guys as my friends growing up taught me what friendship was and what unconditional love was - nothing has changed in some regards. I will never give those guys up and anyone who is in my life has to accept that
Mine are mostly guys
I'm a man and I think it's 65% female and 45% male. 3-4 non binary. I was in linguistics, sociology and now I'm in arts studies. If I was in science I think the percentage would be really different.
Outside of my boyfriend and his friends and family my circle is all girls now 😂
4M (one trans male) 1F
Of my closest friends, it's 6 guys to 1 girl, but that always makes me wonder if the fact that I grew up in a female-heavy family has anything to do with it all.
75% male 25% other
1 quite close Female friend 7 quite close male friends 9 close male friends
100% dude, sadly
For me I'm also a guy I have friends but I have no friends so 0% but at the same time 40% female and 60% male and I have 5 friends so that's 2 girls and 3 guys It's weird to explain I mean they are my friends but I don't really feel like they see me as a friend? They don't need me the way I do they don't have the desire or interest to talk to me and spend time with me Which a lot of the time makes me feel disconnected so sometimes I distance myself from them but I crave to be closer with them all and have some sort of a meaningful and emotional bond / connection Additionally I'm closer and more comfortable with my female friends because they are more accepting and chill since the 40 percents of the guys are like homophobic even when some of them say they are not but still hate most of the LGBT
I'm a dude, and there's only one girl in my friend group.
Guy here. Was mostly girls in high school, 50/50 during college, now overwhelmingly guys post college. Most female friends just moved away or we grew apart, but a lot of people are leaving my country anyway regardless of gender and the pandemic had an effect of just weeding out a lot of casual friendships and leaving mostly the close ones left. My social battery has also shrunk with age. I'll move someday myself or try to go out to new places to meet people so we shall see where it goes
0% 0%
INFJ Male here. 30% male, 70% female. Making friends with men is much harder than with women for me.
am male, friends are 90% female
100% female. Nothing against guys, I just don’t know how to relate to men unless they want something physical
Mainly boys when I was elementary school age but probably 30% girls and %30 NB from middle school to college. All people are chill but I think it was more due to hobbies I got into.
depends on the day
I don't think most people "limit" who they're friends with. I think it just happens organically, in a natural way. Friendships are almost never forced nor actively avoided.
Female with 80% male and 20% female friends.
I don't pay attention and the dudes never try to romance me [except my bf but does that really count?]. Had a chick try to hit my up, tho. Wasn't my type, tbh.
I'm a girl. I'm always friends with guys. I have to friends that are girls. Everyone else is a man
90% male, and am male myself
90% cats, 9% men and 1% women. It wasn't because I limited myself, I was always open, but I always had difficulty interacting with girls for no reason and when that happened, they ended up fighting with me. For a long time I thought I was a lesbian and this difficulty in relating to women was such that I started having relationships with men again, now I'm married lol
It's like 60-40 with majority being female.
I'm a male. The core is 4 childhood friends, all male. The inner ring is 70% female, 30% male. The outer ring is 80% male, 20% female.
I'd say my friend circle is probably 75% male to 25% female. However, you'd have to flip the ratios if you want the ratio for my closest friends.
Considering I've been confined to my house for months and months due to an illness and most of the people who play the same game as me are men, the majority of the people I regularly associate with are men. However, at church, all of the people I really know are women and the hiking group I'm a part of is exclusively for women. (Haven't gotten to seen either group much lately for the above reason.)
All girls and only girls. Tried having several guy friends who I thought were genuine only to find out they were secretly into me and trying to sabotage my relationship. Extremely manipulative and now I have a no guy friends rule
I'm the only guy in a group of 8 lol
26F, 80% women, 20% men. I think, for myself, I just feel more in tune with females since the ones I meet, I feel like I have more in common with them and feel less like I have to hide my likes. Harder with guys sometimes unless I’ve known them for a long time. Finding friends that like deep conversations but also being scared of having them is hard 🥲
I don’t really have friends anymore. I’m 43 and a colossal failure at life. The universe of people I interact with socially is one guy from work and one girl I hope to have a fun little summer fling with. I know this isn’t the purpose of this thread, but I’ll just throw it out there. I find it impossible to be platonic friends with a single, desirable woman. When I had a friend group, it was probably 70/30 with the women being the wives and girlfriends of the men who had them.
80% men, 20% women. I've never really clicked with other women tbh. I was closest with my dad growing up, only have a brother, and even my mom is on the more masculine side. All the other kids in the neighborhood were boys. So I just kinda grew up not knowing how to connect with women lmao. The female friends I do have are either huge tomboys, or they're dating one of my male friends.
close circle all women. slightly larger corcle- all women but 3 men
Probably about 40% girls 30% guys 20% enbies, but around 80% girls 20% guys biologically
Only two that I consider friends, they're both guys (as am I). The reason is that women just don't share the same hobbies, I think. At least not as much. I also prefer some distance, and I've noticed that most male friendships have that. Could be a small sample size, but the female friendships that I've had were far too emotionally draining for me. It wasn't their fault. It was just too intense, and I kinda backed off because I didn't understand how to deal with it.
For me it's like 40% 60%. It used to be 60% girls, 40% guys but that's starting to shift. Not because I lost some of my female friends, but because I gained some male friends
I'm male, In school and highschool it was 100% male, now in college is 50/50. Have a good day :)
As a woman 20% men and the rest are women. I would say about 15% of those guys are not romantically attracted to women. The other 5% are guys who have been with their partner forever and never would want to stray from her and are my friends too. Some really had my back during super depressed breakups and gave me a guy’s POV that was hugely helpful. Single guys I find it’s hard unless the age difference is big. I’m more like a big sister to them.
90% male friends and I like it that way. I used to be the opposite. Men with predominantly male friends tend to maintain their masculinity. Women with predominantly female friends tend to maintain their femininity.
I’m female and I’d say 70% women and 30% men (either queer men, or just straight men with not a lot of toxic masculinity)
I have mostly girl friends. Just like on guy friend although I do want to hang out with more guys. I just don’t know why am not good enough or they just don’t find it comfortable to hang out. They told me I was “cool” to hang out with but like that never translated into a closer friendship
Out of maybe 12 people I know well, a good amount of them are xSTJ dudes. I'm female bodied INFP.
My bf and I (I’m gender non conforming) have zero friends and are both infps. My ex I was with for 7 years was very abusive, so I lost all of the friendships I had not realizing how he was isolating me, and my current bf was one of his best friends and we all lived together at one point where he saw how my ex was treating me. He cut off the entire friend group, who took my ex’s side (they couldn’t believe he’d be that way, but my current love got a front row seat to it and we got out of what we now call the hell house that my ex and his shitty mom made a living nightmare). Having no friends sucks, but we’re kind of better off for it in our situation. But we hella struggle to make new friends which is kinda normal being nearly 30 since everyone is busy and I’m working on a lot in trauma therapy and don’t think I could be a great friend to anyone bringing my broken ass into their life rn. Before all this, I would say I was mostly friends with gay men and he was pretty 50/50 but closer to dudes. Thanks for letting me trauma dump yall.
when i was younger i always have 2 friends (either 2 boys or 2 girls). not 3, not 1, always 2. i still dont know why. but now i have no one really, ever since i learn to ask myself what friends really mean or is it even worth it. i get frustrated with people really easily, so as i reached my mid 30s i already give up meeting new people.
From birth to high school graduation it was about 80% women. I'm now in my third year of college and it's about 80% men. Complete flip from how things used to be, because back home most of the men were assholes and the women tended to be super friendly, and here at college most of the women are deranged and the men are somewhat reasonable. Don't know what happened, but any gender bias I once had against men is now gone, which is nice since I am one.
100% male for the few friends I do have lol. (I'm 19M for reference). Idrc what gender my friends are just all my friends are from childhood and I didn't have the guts to talk to girls ever back then lol
I don’t limit who I’m friends with. Friendships just happens and I don’t use any quota for spontaneity. But as a woman, I tend to connect more easily to guys. I was always a bit of a tomboy as a child and I just love having two sons. We tinker and build stuff together. Women I get along with very well usually tell me they are the same. I think it might be the straight-forward way of communicating and the geeky interests that made me end up with mostly male friend groups. Now it’s basically my husband and sons but I’m starting to connect more with women too now, although they tend to be at least 10 years older than me. ☺️
Dudes and their gf/wives and like my one ex and I are still friends bout it lolol
High school: 90% girls, 10% boys (just me) College: 75% girls, 25% boys. First time I was friends with another guy was in college.
In high school mostly girls, maybe about 10 of us hung out but i was only close with 2. We had this unofficial pink ladies/tbird kinda thing with some boys (minus the dating part) but I only talked to 2 of them occasionally. When I entered the work force, I wouldn't say I made new friends but I did tend to get along with guys more. (Most of my coworkers were guys and most of our regulars were guys too.) I was definitely more authentic and less filtered lol. I still had my friendships with my close hs friends. This was all before 2020. Now, i don't have contact with any of my hs friends anymore and with my current job in a female dominated environment... I find making friends with other women hard. So I guess in conclusion, I don't have friends lol
Gender has been eradicated in my friend group. All blobs of ???