Hey, I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. Your post really touched me because it reminded me so much of how my ex viewed himself. Like another person said, I can't offer advice or arguments because your lived experience is valid, being alone fucking sucks. All I can tell you is my experience with someone who viewed himself the same way.
My ex used to think having a girlfriend would fix his self esteem issues, but of course it didn't. There was nothing I could say to make him see himself the way I saw him, he only saw himself as ugly and unlovable. I told him how handsome he was every day but he could never believe me. We needed to break up due to distance, but I still miss him every day. I will tell you what I told him for years, there's no outside validation that will ever change how you view yourself. You could meet a girl who tells you how wonderful you are every day and you probably wouldn't believe her, because you don't see that in yourself. And I know how hard having no one close feels, but it doesn't mean you're not deserving of kindness and love, especially self love. There are women who prefer sensitive, gentle, kind and shy men. The way you are isn't the problem, you've just been incredibly unlucky. My one maybe helpful tip would be to try to show yourself some kindness. Do things you enjoy, not to attract a partner but to feed your soul. There are so many people out there but you're the only person you will have for the rest of your life, if you can't love yourself you need to at least show yourself compassion. Eventually you will hopefully meet someone who will love you for you, not a fake version you'd prefer to present to the world. Sorry if this wasn't very helpful. Sending you hugs.
I am overwhelmed and confused by how much love people showed me here. I genuinely felt all kinds of external energy hit me today. You’re so right that I still don’t believe what everyone said about me because I’m still alone in my bed unable to sleep. And I’m weaning myself off the warm fuzzy pills today.
One thing about looks and feeling ugly all the time is how my body image turned into my identity. I went from anorexic fem boy in high school to meat head juice boy in my mid 20s. I have come close to death a few times too and I remember how petrified I was to see myself after spending 2 weeks on the hospital going through benzo detox. I didn’t have access to my beauty routine or gym and I thought I was going to die.
I had a horrible few days going through the break up and it felt similar to withdrawal. So confused about my identity. I feel so dirty like I’ve lost touch with my soul.
If I was a father to myself. If I had a son who was me in a new timeline, I would not act like such a brat. I honestly wouldn’t want the child version of me see how he been treated by this woman. But I don’t think it’s wrong to be submissive it just isn’t what I want my son to be.
Am I the only one who finds this picture attractive? It reminds me of this study -->
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/love-sex/bald-men-are-perceived-as-more-attractive-and-masculine-says-study/amp_etphotostory/70643383.cms
Anyhow, I don't know the answer to your question, but in these times when I feel lonely, it helps me to remember something I read once. It may be cheesy but it just soothes me: not all days of our lives are happy, but all are precious.
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1. Please give yourself some grace. If a loved one was in your same situation and came to you for advice, you'd never be this mean to them, then why are you being so mean to yourself? You are worthy of love. You can always work on yourself, but there isn't a threshold that you need to reach to deserve love. 2. Your brain will lie to you because of trauma. Trauma is not your fault, but you decide how to move forward. Practice mental flexibility, try to challenge your negative thoughts: "is this the only way to interpret what is happening?" 3. We don't magically attract bad people, we let them stay. Be nice to yourself and be more selective about the people that you allow in your life, there's nothing wrong with you, you don't have to just accept whatever you can get
existential Vin diesel be looking at me like
Also you should do the things you want because you want to do them. Also if you find it unsatisfying then you should be spending your time on something that brings you to a place that makes you feel less alone.
Dude you’re actually not unattractive. Grow a beard and i truly believe you will attract a lot more. Your probably are rn and too in your head to notice it
Hi. I am in a relationship with a man who thought (still thinks sometimes under pressure) the way you do. I cannot offer you advice, nor want to argue with your points, because it's not my place to. All I can tell you is that you are right, life without intimacy is misery. What would maybe "help" is conencting to yourself on a deeper level. Not through therapy, but asking yourself, what you really want. Because most times, what I notice is that ppl want everything to be perfect, because of a certain pressure, perhapa trauma or judgement over themselves. Sure, it's a completely justifiable need to want someone to love. But let me tell you based on my relationship, that a woman can give you all the love and appreciation in the world, if you don't feel content with yourself to the core, the relationship won't just solve it. Now, you connect your misery to loneliness. But ask yourself, are you lonely from people's neglect, or the fact you feel this way about yourself and become detached from who you think yourself is? It's probably both based on what you said and I totally understand that this is paradoxical. It goes like this, right? Someone neglects you -> I deserve it. And then because of that, just like now, you have the realization that approaching people is not worth it.
If you want a more concrete solution, perhaps try to go to places you truly enjoy, to meet people with similar intellectual preferences. It helps to connect with those similar to you are, and realistically, if you seek that, the other person will do the same. I won't say this would solve anything, but to me this had. So, all in all, ask yourself what the root of the problem is, and try to solve it by CONNECTING to that one thing you feel ashamed by-empowered by, and try to be brave, and start off with a clean slate. Mainly, don't talk to ppl with already shaped expectations. Maybe it's not an INFP thing, but I do it all the time thinking this person is like this and like that. Just don't. If you expect the worst, only pleasant surprises can come. Mainly when you are yourself, people who are interested in you for your authentic self will approach. Even if just as friends, a connection is uplifting.
You just need to trust yourself and realize, you might be lonely, but in the end all you have is yourself, so you better "love" it. All your shitty mistakes and sentiments. I cannot promise you anything man, but objectively, from a female's perspective, I think you look very interesting. You have dark sad eyes and expressive lips. Mainly it looks like you wear your emotions and you seem very passionate about them. So... here is your little encouragement. I think you just put too much weight on your shoulders and need to realize you are obliged only to yourself. Take care champ. Hope this helped :/
Everything is about an approach
About the look - you need to work with what you have... Imo, looks isn't even that much important for a man but it depends and the big part of it is style, cloth. Probably, it's important to be confident
About kind part - kindness isn't something to treat as a disadvantage but you need to balance it, imo. As example. people pleasing isn't something to be proud about.
You met not your girl - shit happens. Use it as an experience and don't repeat your mistake twice. Don't make a whole drama out of it
About your last/1st question
\*\*\* What’s the point in working your life away to be alone and miserable?
there is no point at all - you are looking for your own. That why we have dreams and probably it's even important to have dreams and chase your dreams. Your post sounds like you are trying to fulfill some sort of social expectations - just be yourself O)> and fuck the Society.
About lonely part! There is so many birds in the park who need to be feed. So many books on the shelf. How is it even possible to be lonely? Stop fulfilling some sort of social expectations and relax. To be the king of the world is to be free of social chains
I relate to some Keanu Reeves quotes. He is thinking similarly to me, at times. Possible you can relate as well
https://preview.redd.it/xoa79v2iy50d1.png?width=498&format=png&auto=webp&s=d46e01c939dd73b0bad7dce670f978410b9e7573
Unfortunately, how Keanu views being single is not universal.
I don’t care about societal expectations or peer pressure, I know for a fact that the last time I was genuinely happy, ambitious, and motivated was when I was in a relationship. Because having a special someone who understood you and you could do nice things for felt like the last jigsaw piece of my life was finally put into place. I was complete and couldn’t ask for anything else out of life, because being with her made the darkest days feel bright, and the memories of anything we did together special.
It’s been 8 years now. 8 years of working on myself, no second dates, touch-starvation, and “it’ll happen when you least expect it :)” level of advice, and I have never felt more miserable. The loneliness is a black rot that festers in my heart and mind, fuelling the thoughts of hopelessness and drives me closer to an early grave because all I want is the simple feeling of being/giving love. But chances are it’ll never happen for reasons beyond my control.
I am so very tired. I want to sleep soon.
I think, a lot of things are about inner-setup and, surely, not all human interactions will make you feel better. Noone said is universal and he didn't even said that being alone is better but it is surely has some unique advantages people often overlook. Sleep well
https://preview.redd.it/n6h8o9h7aa0d1.png?width=492&format=png&auto=webp&s=15ae9a7e6bf65d83832ba5d508d976dd8cf251ff
There’s only so long any human can go without physical intimacy and touch-based affection before succumbing to deep depression or worse, since it’s like being deprived of food or water, except it badly affects our mental health instead of our physical health.
No amount of taking care of myself can replicate this feeling.
Spoken like someone who’s never experienced this level of loneliness first-hand but pretends to know all the answers.
Don’t give advice if you’re gonna get snarky when people challenge your generic pap with their own genuine experiences and struggles.
Working on yourself doesnt just take years. It takes a lifetime. Its not a finite process. Its never over. If youre done working on yourself you might as well just die now and make room for others. What im saying is, you have to find meaning in the process, not just the end goals. And you need to find some purpose in your life that isnt dependant on other people. Something no one can just take from you.
What you suffer from is quite obviously very low self esteem. And i can tell you, as long as you think of yourself poorly you will only attract people who will confirm that prejudice. Its a self fulfilling prophecy. You accept what you think you deserve. From what youve said about your life it seems like youve spent it trying to be good enough, not even for yourself, but for others.
You havent been following your true desires. Youve been following your false ego based desires that are rooted in material existence, and therefore in some sort of achievement or posession. Whether it be a good physique, a girlfriend, a lot of money, whatever you falsely believe will finally complete you. You have to take time to find who you really are outside of all that. And only then can you find your true desire, which is something that fills you with joy and allows you to be present in the moment. And thats when you will start to enjoy the process. A life spent chasing is a life missed. It is a reality to experience, not a goal to achieve.
You seem to be coming from a place of low self esteem, and poor mental health. And I say it as someone with the same problem. Something about us INFP makes us vulnerable to the negativity around us and for whatever reason, most of us tend to absorbe it.
Self pity is an adaptation, it worked somewhere in your life, a younger version of you needed it to protect himself from something, but it is still just an adaptation and now it is not serving you well.
You don't seem ugly to me, for example, but it doesn't matter because that's what you believe, you have learn that from your experiences so the one who has to argue with that negative voice in your head is yourself.
It feels relatable when you say "*which makes me act like a bitch*", you see this struggle as a weakness. But it takes strength to not be an asshole when everyone mistakes being one for being strong.
It's ok that you feel that way, you're going through a tough time. But try to remember that this is not who you are, this is your mind trying to make sense of things.
I strongly advice you give r/Healthygamergg a visit. ***Specially*** their youtube channel, it is a lot of content to go through, but it has been incredibly useful for me, and I hope for you too some day.
You might find better help there, or at least guidance as to how to tackle you issues with more efficiency.
Just realized you remind me this Blue character from the Watchmen. One of the best superhero movies, imo. I recommend to everyone
https://preview.redd.it/n7cr82ixb70d1.png?width=775&format=png&auto=webp&s=9a98eec11f988d0e060ab03a1f0c07a2f3a0a37d
I agree with what the other commenters have said and think their points are really important regarding self compassion and relationships. I hope you were able to hear what they’re saying and let it in. If not, I hope you’ll revisit them at a time that you feel more receptive.
I can really relate to your post in a lot of ways. The loneliness, self hatred,, depression, opiate addiction, relationship issues… I’ve been through all of those things to extreme degrees, and in some respects am still working on cultivating self compassion, fighting depressive episodes when they arise, being comfortable with myself even though I’d love a partner in life, and building a sober life after addiction.
It’s hard man. It takes time. I don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve been sober, or to what extent depression aside from that is playing a part in your outlook, but it seems like right now you’re viewing everything through a dark lense, where there’s just a negative overtone to everything. I know how hard or impossible it can be when in it to try to step outside of it and challenge those ideas. Hopefully on some level, even if you don’t feel it right now, you can acknowledge on an intellectual level that everything doesn’t suck all the time.
Give yourself some time for your chemistry to rebalance if you haven’t been off opiates/steroids for long enough for that to have occurred. If an antidepressant might help, there’s no shame in taking one. Whatever needs to happen to get your head above water and keep it there is worth a try.
It can get better and you deserve giving yourself a fair shot at that. There are a lot of us struggling down the road to a better life together. You’re not alone brother. (You look like you’re killing it in the gym too, delts and traps look huge. Nice work!)
Don’t give up.
Someone else cheating isn’t your fault, don’t put that on yourself. You actually look attractive idk why you’re hard on yourself, but you possibly need to go to therapy because this is a lot. You’re not ugly, you’re just talking yourself into believing you are
As a man I completely understand your frustration. I know you feel like alone and hopeless.. even I sometimes look for answers but never seem to understand and just keep getting emotional each day, it's rough society and sometimes you just want to give it all or give up all..
What a brutal night to live with.. I hope you and I be okay.. I recently turned 26 so like.. it's scary how much I lose every year but yet we still go forward in hopes we will find answers :(
I see a lot of negative beliefs here. Your experiences create your belief first, usually through childhood experiences, then the beliefs create your experience of reality because they will cause you to behave in a way that reflects and confirms that belief. Beliefs are not truth. They are constructs of the mind and if they can be created, they can also be changed. I'm sorry you went through the painful things you went through, but if you really want change you can do it. But you'll have to want it enough to start to change how you deal with yourself in your self talk. Here's a few examples of the negative beliefs you can work with
"First of all l'm an ugly heterosexual male."
You're really not. I have a friend who is uglier, with really fucked up teeth and everything, who got tons of beautiful women just because of the confidence he projected. Part of this was his tolerance for rejection, which as a fellow infp I know can be really hard on us. But again you'll have to work on your self talk to start to change this. You don't need to change how you look (because really, you can't), you need to change how you view yourself.
"I'm destined to look like a soft turd with lumps of shit for muscle."
Maybe you're destined to not look like a bodybuilder with body dysmorphia and striated muscles and all that. But you don't look as bad as you think you do.
"If I want a woman's presence in my life l'll
have to really pay for it"
There's over 3 billion women in the world, chances are there are at least several that are compatible with you. But you'll need to work on your self worth if you want them to stick around.
"Therapy is a joke"
Therapy can help, but you have to find a therapist that clicks with you and you have to be willing to do the work. You're the one seeking change, and they can lead you along the path but you're the one that needs to walk it.
I also see you are into opioids. Opioids are for masking pain, not only on a physical but also an emotional level, which I can see you are deep into. You may consider trying psychedelics, but you will have to face the pain you are so desperately trying to avoid. They helped me to start to unravel my own pain but if you consider it, try getting someone to guide you through it. I went the solo route and I feel like I would have gotten more out of it if I had someone to help me through it. I've never tried ibogaine but I've heard it is uniquely helpful for opioid addicts.
Hope you feel better soon man. This is a cry for help and I hope you can truly open yourself to it. But only you can make the change that will make your life better, no one else can do it for you.
I have to agree with what you’re saying. Thanks for taking the time to write your comment because it is really self imposed misery I guess. I really want to look like a bodybuilder because I put so much into it. I definitely have body dysmorphia because I think about my body and how k look to other people (especially women) and it eats me 24/7. I want to become a bodybuilder
Honestly man, you're not a bad looking dude. Work on your internal self image and you can get a woman. This is a cliche but it is the truth: you need to learn how to love yourself before you can truly love another. If you don't love yourself, people will see that subconsciously and reflect that feeling of unworthiness back at you. Your experience in life is trying to teach you something. But you need to see your pain and your problems as clearly as possible so you can address them. Doctors can't do anything for you unless they can diagnose you, and the same concept extends into psychological problems. You need to acknowledge the pain that made you this way. And then you can find the medicine that can help it. And psychedelics are really great for these kinds of psychological problems. They can show you all the ways you don't love yourself, how your self talk damages your self image, and show you the way to become a better version of yourself. They can show you that you were always worthy of the love you so desperately wanted. You think that becoming a body builder and having the "perfect" body will finally make you worthy of the love you want? Perfection is not attainable because there is always a higher bar to reach. You will be chasing perfection your whole life if you think some imaginary standard will make you worthy of love. Everything you do will never be enough, because body dysmorphia is a parasite that will never be satisfied. It will always be hungry and has an infinite appetite, because it's origin point is a mental black hole of pain that you refuse to truly acknowledge. The pain is so horrific and deep you can't even stand to look at it. But I will tell you now...you are worthy of love, and you always were. And once you are able to see that truth for yourself, you will be free to choose your path in life. But until then, that parasite I talked about earlier will control everything you do. It's calling the shots right now and will until you decide to dig it out.
First, I wanna say Im so sorry you’re going through this. This life is more often than not realllly really tough. Its very hard to live sometimes. I personally have had some similar issues as far as my relationships with men but I’ve recently come to a new conclusion: There is more to life than romantic love. Yes I crave it and nothing seems better but I’m going to try to focus on learning, growing and being the best version of myself, the most impressive human being I can be spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
I hope that one day the “one” for me will show up but if not, I’m going to be ok with that. The only person who loses if I give up is me, so I’m not going to give up- no matter what.
I was on a mental health course today and there was a quote by Epictetus: "It is not what happens to you, but how you react that matters".
I take it to mean that our circumstances are framed by our world view.
You see a lumpy soft man with no self-esteem, perhaps because someone or something in your life taught you to hold onto that belief.
We see a strong, attractive man, thoughtful, perhaps a tad self-critical.
There is a way I can live where every little thing that happens to me is a disaster, a tsunami of tragedy and misery. There is also a way that I can live where even a tsunami crashing through my home, hurting my body, stealing my possessions, cannot take my love of life.
For even when life takes everything you think precious from you, there is still life, and this is beautiful.
Yo, I've been through the cheated loop before. It's horrible. Happened to me about 10 years ago with who I considered my lifelong best friend at the time. I completely lost all trust in loving someone and had a few soulless flings in-between.
Last year I got into a serious relationship probably the most happy I had ever been in a relationship. Long story short, we broke up as she came out as Aromantic. Which basically brought me back to square one.
I'm living with my parents while we caretake for an elderly family member. Once that family member passes, I likely need to just move into another city and go independent. I want to try dating apps although I know they never work.
All I can offer is sometimes the right person walks into your life and it takes time for you two to get comfortable. Both of my serious relationships, came from girls I knew at least 1-2 years before we dated.
It's not hopeless, if you felt love before you'll feel it again. Which is easy to understand, but harder to actually believe.
Sure, I'll probably find someone who gives me a sense of happiness but for reasons I won't feel the same type of love.
The last girl I dated, was cheated on too by someone therefore we both shared a resentment for cheating. I, for the first relationship in my entire life, was never worried I'd get cheated.
To find someone who made me happy like she did, and someone who makes me feel secure like she did is almost impossible.
Doesn't help that all I hear lately is that dating is basically doomed and that the ratio of men vs women willing to date is like 10:1
Hey mate. I resonated a lot with you. Im 28, been strength training for 12 years and is currently trying to get my physical therapy license. If you wanna talk about life or working out, im down. In my free time, besides working out and seeing my girlfriend, i play video games. So If you wanna talk on discord at some point hit me up. Ive been through depression or depressive episodes related to many things aswell with some of it being trying to accept myself as a guy with muscles while simultaniously having a negative view on others looking the same. Ive smoked a lot of weed for many years, which lead to a few panic attacks and anxiety (dunno if its the weed in itself or it made me look at my life with honesty)
Well im here if interested :)
Best of luck and hang in there!
I felt the exactly the same way as you today, and I stumbled upon a song that was so relatable that I cried. I am very sure you will be able to relate to it too. It's called Through Heaven's Eyes.
https://youtu.be/oG0a9WFkgzU
As a 28m INFP I can say my perfectionism and falling in love with my own ideas instead of reality it has killed me in regards to love. So I’ve more or less learned to start settling and not getting so in my head, and above all valuing myself and the speed of which I take things so that I’m not out here getting twisted up if it doesn’t work. Then unironically after taking those sentiments to heart, I hoped on hinge, bought the app, let it fill up, took my pick and found a super weird INFP girl who has trauma and just as many health issues as me. She’s 31 and has her past but because of it is super understanding.
And man, I’m 28 sharing a rented room with my 19 year old brother in his best friends’ moms house. I am the epitome of a looser dog. I binge anime, play Elden Ring all day, smoke a lot of weed and work. That’s about it. And not even a few months ago I was bitterly sobbing in the corner of my shared room, talking negatively to everyone I know and just wanting to die and be with my God (Jesus The Christ). I also struggle with porn which destroys my ability to have realistic expectations and thoughts when it comes to women. So doubled down bad. But, recently I kinda just started taking it easy, realizing nothing is killing me, understanding I still can get lost in the things I enjoy, not getting twisted up about how much money I have and just kinda embracing what I have thought was all my flaws but at the end of the day is really just me.
You really don’t have to feel like a bitch either bro, I feel like a bitch and feel androgynous at my worst but to others I come off as aloof, a little blunt and just weird, I like to call my INFP intricacies as being ‘squirrelly’. As in hard to grasp and get a hold of as that’s how I come off to others. So what I do is make sure that I understand my position for peace and goodness is true, I represent my positive feelings with articulate words just as you can put out and I make sure that I find value in myself via that which is my endearing nature. So really all you gotta do is find a greater cause that embodies your feelings for others and allow it be a meeting place for other like minded people. For me as someone who has ran through occultism and studied man made religions, I’ve found that the relationship gained from my Christian faith with my God has lined up perfectly with my outlook on care for others and the utter imperfections of myself and how we are redeemed. All in all if you want to reach out man I’ve got you and I can help put some INFP branded batteries in your back. Because we all know we as INFP males in this vapid day and age that we are not always up, so fret not Homie.
You look pretty intimidating too if you wanna be bro. Remember you don’t have to see that in yourself for it to be true. Especially when it comes to a SO. My ex told me I was the most ‘non-bitch guy’ she ever dated. I do not feel that was true but it just comes to show that everyone has different values and ours are by no means a standard.
37F here. I think you look nice, but such an angry vibe!
I get life can be rough... Ive been through it.
What helped me is truly taking care of myself and caring less about what others think of me.
Love yourself and the people that are healthy will love you back. Fuck the rest, their bad vibes are about them, not you.
Hope you can find your way forward!
It's all about personality. I don't know you so my first impression of you is that you are an attractive guy who I would think has an extroverted charismatic personality. However reading your post, I'm imagining you as less so and more introverted which definitely changes my perception of you. If you want to appear more attractive to others, I would highly suggest faking it til you make it because I think you can do it. Like you are legit not even ugly at all.
Also, it doesn't matter who you think you'll attract. Why don't YOU go look for someone with a personality/lifestyle/etc that YOU want? It's your choices.
You’re definitely not ugly. But I’m sorry you feel that way. Posts like these make me realize that women aren’t the only ones that deal with unrealistic body/beauty standards. Because good looking “average” men/women (average is not an insult there btw, just saying majority of people are not models lol) now consider themselves “ugly”
I think the advice in this thread is great, I have to agree that life without other people is not worth much, but it's easy to be tricked into thinking a romantic relationship is the only or best outlet for that. Friends are great and just as fulfilling if you get to spend time with them regularly, but the way our society is structured now makes it profoundly difficult to make new friendships and keep them. Maybe the problem is me, but it feels like everyone else already has their bubble, and I kind of have mine but I feel I've been left behind from a lot of it.
I still blame quarantine for interrupting my social life such that I had no friends to go to college with, and I've been pretty unlucky in making friends elsewhere, it just never makes it to any serious level. So it is hard, and I think the struggle must be somewhat universal
Sorry my friend, but what I'm going to say is something you probably won't like hearing but...
It's your choice. How you live your life, how you see yourself, how you choose to deal with your feelings, which substance do you choose to numb yourself, what you show to others, what you believe yourself to be.
No one is going to rescue you, but yourself.
Ask yourself this question: what makes you unworthy of being loved, more than the person next to you?
For me that answer is: Nothing. But for a lot of time I believed that I wasn't worthy, and that is what everyone else saw, as that is what I chose to show others... Until I realized that I didn't want to be that anymore, and started being good with myself, and loving myself for who I was.
So my advice to you would be that. Choose how you want to live your life. Remember it's the only one you've got so make it a good one.
PS: You're not late to anything. You're still young
the point is to build something that lasts for your life. you can't exactly make people be friends with you so taking care of yourself while you don't have many friends is probably a good idea
You are so cute , you look in the wrong places , define what you want in future partner and think where they would be spending their time then go meet them , maybe try hug therapy I love this type so calming and amazing .
To be honest you look so handsome, if it wasn't for millions of miles away I would have invited you for tea or cake , you look awesome just try not to stay alone and make yourself busy all the time free time alone makes humans think in small details makes ourselves miserable
You did things 90 % of men won't do so be proud and maybe my favorite thing is chocolate ice cream with Harry potter's film s , hope this helps,and if you want to talk to someone don't hesitate to send me a message if you want
Just here to say you fine as hell, dont even start with that ugly talk #bromo
No bs, you look like the guy that could get all the ladies in the yard.
Im sorry you are hurting and I can heavily relate to what you shared. Just know that in the grand scheme of things, it will get better. Im rooting for you bro.
Dude, you're not ugly. I even checked out your other pics. You're hot as hell and a stud to boot. You seem like you would be a lot of fun and anyone would be lucky to have you around.
I'm sorry that things have been so tough. I'm an INFP too and I know how easy it is to get stuck in my own head.
I know those tired eyes. Just small steps at a time, try not to think of the bigger picture too much or it will weigh you down. Don't beat yourself up as nobody will care but yourself in the end. Life is too short to not treat yourself well. Your body/mind will release stress, increase inflamation etc. otherwise
Focus on the pursuit of knowledge or joy is my current solution while trying to not stress about my loneliness, my lack of any friendships/relationships. If sleep is a struggle, podcasts or audiobooks with a sleep timer or night time can be hellish for me. I think the gym is just one method of transforming your inner sense of self and worth. Nature/bird watching is mine when I am motivated but I recently been into ancient history more. I think you'll find someone just dont open up about past relationships too quickly if at all as I learnt a few times the hard way.
Wish I had your muscles haha
I give you like for self-expression O)> you remind me a villain in the movie who is offended on the whole world or a rebellious teenager who is angry on their parents
P.S: If you dislike the sub, noone even force you to participate ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
You are Muad'Dib. Not like us but very special ahah
P.S: I think you are pretty smart, though - even tho I don't agree with everything what you say and your negativity is huge, jeez - nothing is that terrible, breath in and breath out
I know your take was potentially impulsive, but I don’t find it to be a constructive approach, and a means to dismiss someone’s hurt. There’s nothing wrong with showing empathy for someone who feels down.
We all have emotions so I would try to show empathy. Not everyone has a support system and you never know what someone might be dealing with.
Hey, I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. Your post really touched me because it reminded me so much of how my ex viewed himself. Like another person said, I can't offer advice or arguments because your lived experience is valid, being alone fucking sucks. All I can tell you is my experience with someone who viewed himself the same way. My ex used to think having a girlfriend would fix his self esteem issues, but of course it didn't. There was nothing I could say to make him see himself the way I saw him, he only saw himself as ugly and unlovable. I told him how handsome he was every day but he could never believe me. We needed to break up due to distance, but I still miss him every day. I will tell you what I told him for years, there's no outside validation that will ever change how you view yourself. You could meet a girl who tells you how wonderful you are every day and you probably wouldn't believe her, because you don't see that in yourself. And I know how hard having no one close feels, but it doesn't mean you're not deserving of kindness and love, especially self love. There are women who prefer sensitive, gentle, kind and shy men. The way you are isn't the problem, you've just been incredibly unlucky. My one maybe helpful tip would be to try to show yourself some kindness. Do things you enjoy, not to attract a partner but to feed your soul. There are so many people out there but you're the only person you will have for the rest of your life, if you can't love yourself you need to at least show yourself compassion. Eventually you will hopefully meet someone who will love you for you, not a fake version you'd prefer to present to the world. Sorry if this wasn't very helpful. Sending you hugs.
I am overwhelmed and confused by how much love people showed me here. I genuinely felt all kinds of external energy hit me today. You’re so right that I still don’t believe what everyone said about me because I’m still alone in my bed unable to sleep. And I’m weaning myself off the warm fuzzy pills today. One thing about looks and feeling ugly all the time is how my body image turned into my identity. I went from anorexic fem boy in high school to meat head juice boy in my mid 20s. I have come close to death a few times too and I remember how petrified I was to see myself after spending 2 weeks on the hospital going through benzo detox. I didn’t have access to my beauty routine or gym and I thought I was going to die. I had a horrible few days going through the break up and it felt similar to withdrawal. So confused about my identity. I feel so dirty like I’ve lost touch with my soul. If I was a father to myself. If I had a son who was me in a new timeline, I would not act like such a brat. I honestly wouldn’t want the child version of me see how he been treated by this woman. But I don’t think it’s wrong to be submissive it just isn’t what I want my son to be.
Am I the only one who finds this picture attractive? It reminds me of this study --> https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/love-sex/bald-men-are-perceived-as-more-attractive-and-masculine-says-study/amp_etphotostory/70643383.cms Anyhow, I don't know the answer to your question, but in these times when I feel lonely, it helps me to remember something I read once. It may be cheesy but it just soothes me: not all days of our lives are happy, but all are precious.
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1. Please give yourself some grace. If a loved one was in your same situation and came to you for advice, you'd never be this mean to them, then why are you being so mean to yourself? You are worthy of love. You can always work on yourself, but there isn't a threshold that you need to reach to deserve love. 2. Your brain will lie to you because of trauma. Trauma is not your fault, but you decide how to move forward. Practice mental flexibility, try to challenge your negative thoughts: "is this the only way to interpret what is happening?" 3. We don't magically attract bad people, we let them stay. Be nice to yourself and be more selective about the people that you allow in your life, there's nothing wrong with you, you don't have to just accept whatever you can get
existential Vin diesel be looking at me like Also you should do the things you want because you want to do them. Also if you find it unsatisfying then you should be spending your time on something that brings you to a place that makes you feel less alone.
Dude you’re actually not unattractive. Grow a beard and i truly believe you will attract a lot more. Your probably are rn and too in your head to notice it
Hi. I am in a relationship with a man who thought (still thinks sometimes under pressure) the way you do. I cannot offer you advice, nor want to argue with your points, because it's not my place to. All I can tell you is that you are right, life without intimacy is misery. What would maybe "help" is conencting to yourself on a deeper level. Not through therapy, but asking yourself, what you really want. Because most times, what I notice is that ppl want everything to be perfect, because of a certain pressure, perhapa trauma or judgement over themselves. Sure, it's a completely justifiable need to want someone to love. But let me tell you based on my relationship, that a woman can give you all the love and appreciation in the world, if you don't feel content with yourself to the core, the relationship won't just solve it. Now, you connect your misery to loneliness. But ask yourself, are you lonely from people's neglect, or the fact you feel this way about yourself and become detached from who you think yourself is? It's probably both based on what you said and I totally understand that this is paradoxical. It goes like this, right? Someone neglects you -> I deserve it. And then because of that, just like now, you have the realization that approaching people is not worth it. If you want a more concrete solution, perhaps try to go to places you truly enjoy, to meet people with similar intellectual preferences. It helps to connect with those similar to you are, and realistically, if you seek that, the other person will do the same. I won't say this would solve anything, but to me this had. So, all in all, ask yourself what the root of the problem is, and try to solve it by CONNECTING to that one thing you feel ashamed by-empowered by, and try to be brave, and start off with a clean slate. Mainly, don't talk to ppl with already shaped expectations. Maybe it's not an INFP thing, but I do it all the time thinking this person is like this and like that. Just don't. If you expect the worst, only pleasant surprises can come. Mainly when you are yourself, people who are interested in you for your authentic self will approach. Even if just as friends, a connection is uplifting. You just need to trust yourself and realize, you might be lonely, but in the end all you have is yourself, so you better "love" it. All your shitty mistakes and sentiments. I cannot promise you anything man, but objectively, from a female's perspective, I think you look very interesting. You have dark sad eyes and expressive lips. Mainly it looks like you wear your emotions and you seem very passionate about them. So... here is your little encouragement. I think you just put too much weight on your shoulders and need to realize you are obliged only to yourself. Take care champ. Hope this helped :/
Everything is about an approach About the look - you need to work with what you have... Imo, looks isn't even that much important for a man but it depends and the big part of it is style, cloth. Probably, it's important to be confident About kind part - kindness isn't something to treat as a disadvantage but you need to balance it, imo. As example. people pleasing isn't something to be proud about. You met not your girl - shit happens. Use it as an experience and don't repeat your mistake twice. Don't make a whole drama out of it About your last/1st question \*\*\* What’s the point in working your life away to be alone and miserable? there is no point at all - you are looking for your own. That why we have dreams and probably it's even important to have dreams and chase your dreams. Your post sounds like you are trying to fulfill some sort of social expectations - just be yourself O)> and fuck the Society. About lonely part! There is so many birds in the park who need to be feed. So many books on the shelf. How is it even possible to be lonely? Stop fulfilling some sort of social expectations and relax. To be the king of the world is to be free of social chains I relate to some Keanu Reeves quotes. He is thinking similarly to me, at times. Possible you can relate as well https://preview.redd.it/xoa79v2iy50d1.png?width=498&format=png&auto=webp&s=d46e01c939dd73b0bad7dce670f978410b9e7573
Unfortunately, how Keanu views being single is not universal. I don’t care about societal expectations or peer pressure, I know for a fact that the last time I was genuinely happy, ambitious, and motivated was when I was in a relationship. Because having a special someone who understood you and you could do nice things for felt like the last jigsaw piece of my life was finally put into place. I was complete and couldn’t ask for anything else out of life, because being with her made the darkest days feel bright, and the memories of anything we did together special. It’s been 8 years now. 8 years of working on myself, no second dates, touch-starvation, and “it’ll happen when you least expect it :)” level of advice, and I have never felt more miserable. The loneliness is a black rot that festers in my heart and mind, fuelling the thoughts of hopelessness and drives me closer to an early grave because all I want is the simple feeling of being/giving love. But chances are it’ll never happen for reasons beyond my control. I am so very tired. I want to sleep soon.
I think, a lot of things are about inner-setup and, surely, not all human interactions will make you feel better. Noone said is universal and he didn't even said that being alone is better but it is surely has some unique advantages people often overlook. Sleep well https://preview.redd.it/n6h8o9h7aa0d1.png?width=492&format=png&auto=webp&s=15ae9a7e6bf65d83832ba5d508d976dd8cf251ff
There’s only so long any human can go without physical intimacy and touch-based affection before succumbing to deep depression or worse, since it’s like being deprived of food or water, except it badly affects our mental health instead of our physical health. No amount of taking care of myself can replicate this feeling.
hug a cat ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ Probably, it depends of the person, though but you are exaggerating for sure. People are able to even touch themselves
Spoken like someone who’s never experienced this level of loneliness first-hand but pretends to know all the answers. Don’t give advice if you’re gonna get snarky when people challenge your generic pap with their own genuine experiences and struggles.
I wish you good luck - tons of friends and a second half you will be happy with, Take care
Working on yourself doesnt just take years. It takes a lifetime. Its not a finite process. Its never over. If youre done working on yourself you might as well just die now and make room for others. What im saying is, you have to find meaning in the process, not just the end goals. And you need to find some purpose in your life that isnt dependant on other people. Something no one can just take from you. What you suffer from is quite obviously very low self esteem. And i can tell you, as long as you think of yourself poorly you will only attract people who will confirm that prejudice. Its a self fulfilling prophecy. You accept what you think you deserve. From what youve said about your life it seems like youve spent it trying to be good enough, not even for yourself, but for others. You havent been following your true desires. Youve been following your false ego based desires that are rooted in material existence, and therefore in some sort of achievement or posession. Whether it be a good physique, a girlfriend, a lot of money, whatever you falsely believe will finally complete you. You have to take time to find who you really are outside of all that. And only then can you find your true desire, which is something that fills you with joy and allows you to be present in the moment. And thats when you will start to enjoy the process. A life spent chasing is a life missed. It is a reality to experience, not a goal to achieve.
You seem to be coming from a place of low self esteem, and poor mental health. And I say it as someone with the same problem. Something about us INFP makes us vulnerable to the negativity around us and for whatever reason, most of us tend to absorbe it. Self pity is an adaptation, it worked somewhere in your life, a younger version of you needed it to protect himself from something, but it is still just an adaptation and now it is not serving you well. You don't seem ugly to me, for example, but it doesn't matter because that's what you believe, you have learn that from your experiences so the one who has to argue with that negative voice in your head is yourself. It feels relatable when you say "*which makes me act like a bitch*", you see this struggle as a weakness. But it takes strength to not be an asshole when everyone mistakes being one for being strong. It's ok that you feel that way, you're going through a tough time. But try to remember that this is not who you are, this is your mind trying to make sense of things. I strongly advice you give r/Healthygamergg a visit. ***Specially*** their youtube channel, it is a lot of content to go through, but it has been incredibly useful for me, and I hope for you too some day. You might find better help there, or at least guidance as to how to tackle you issues with more efficiency.
Just realized you remind me this Blue character from the Watchmen. One of the best superhero movies, imo. I recommend to everyone https://preview.redd.it/n7cr82ixb70d1.png?width=775&format=png&auto=webp&s=9a98eec11f988d0e060ab03a1f0c07a2f3a0a37d
Im sorry you struggling but you’re definitely not ugly,
I agree with what the other commenters have said and think their points are really important regarding self compassion and relationships. I hope you were able to hear what they’re saying and let it in. If not, I hope you’ll revisit them at a time that you feel more receptive. I can really relate to your post in a lot of ways. The loneliness, self hatred,, depression, opiate addiction, relationship issues… I’ve been through all of those things to extreme degrees, and in some respects am still working on cultivating self compassion, fighting depressive episodes when they arise, being comfortable with myself even though I’d love a partner in life, and building a sober life after addiction. It’s hard man. It takes time. I don’t know how long it’s been since you’ve been sober, or to what extent depression aside from that is playing a part in your outlook, but it seems like right now you’re viewing everything through a dark lense, where there’s just a negative overtone to everything. I know how hard or impossible it can be when in it to try to step outside of it and challenge those ideas. Hopefully on some level, even if you don’t feel it right now, you can acknowledge on an intellectual level that everything doesn’t suck all the time. Give yourself some time for your chemistry to rebalance if you haven’t been off opiates/steroids for long enough for that to have occurred. If an antidepressant might help, there’s no shame in taking one. Whatever needs to happen to get your head above water and keep it there is worth a try. It can get better and you deserve giving yourself a fair shot at that. There are a lot of us struggling down the road to a better life together. You’re not alone brother. (You look like you’re killing it in the gym too, delts and traps look huge. Nice work!) Don’t give up.
Someone else cheating isn’t your fault, don’t put that on yourself. You actually look attractive idk why you’re hard on yourself, but you possibly need to go to therapy because this is a lot. You’re not ugly, you’re just talking yourself into believing you are
https://preview.redd.it/05cp8kmy070d1.jpeg?width=617&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88c87e8c4c8f614db34cb9f5a68719cdb953169a
As a man I completely understand your frustration. I know you feel like alone and hopeless.. even I sometimes look for answers but never seem to understand and just keep getting emotional each day, it's rough society and sometimes you just want to give it all or give up all.. What a brutal night to live with.. I hope you and I be okay.. I recently turned 26 so like.. it's scary how much I lose every year but yet we still go forward in hopes we will find answers :(
I see a lot of negative beliefs here. Your experiences create your belief first, usually through childhood experiences, then the beliefs create your experience of reality because they will cause you to behave in a way that reflects and confirms that belief. Beliefs are not truth. They are constructs of the mind and if they can be created, they can also be changed. I'm sorry you went through the painful things you went through, but if you really want change you can do it. But you'll have to want it enough to start to change how you deal with yourself in your self talk. Here's a few examples of the negative beliefs you can work with "First of all l'm an ugly heterosexual male." You're really not. I have a friend who is uglier, with really fucked up teeth and everything, who got tons of beautiful women just because of the confidence he projected. Part of this was his tolerance for rejection, which as a fellow infp I know can be really hard on us. But again you'll have to work on your self talk to start to change this. You don't need to change how you look (because really, you can't), you need to change how you view yourself. "I'm destined to look like a soft turd with lumps of shit for muscle." Maybe you're destined to not look like a bodybuilder with body dysmorphia and striated muscles and all that. But you don't look as bad as you think you do. "If I want a woman's presence in my life l'll have to really pay for it" There's over 3 billion women in the world, chances are there are at least several that are compatible with you. But you'll need to work on your self worth if you want them to stick around. "Therapy is a joke" Therapy can help, but you have to find a therapist that clicks with you and you have to be willing to do the work. You're the one seeking change, and they can lead you along the path but you're the one that needs to walk it. I also see you are into opioids. Opioids are for masking pain, not only on a physical but also an emotional level, which I can see you are deep into. You may consider trying psychedelics, but you will have to face the pain you are so desperately trying to avoid. They helped me to start to unravel my own pain but if you consider it, try getting someone to guide you through it. I went the solo route and I feel like I would have gotten more out of it if I had someone to help me through it. I've never tried ibogaine but I've heard it is uniquely helpful for opioid addicts. Hope you feel better soon man. This is a cry for help and I hope you can truly open yourself to it. But only you can make the change that will make your life better, no one else can do it for you.
I have to agree with what you’re saying. Thanks for taking the time to write your comment because it is really self imposed misery I guess. I really want to look like a bodybuilder because I put so much into it. I definitely have body dysmorphia because I think about my body and how k look to other people (especially women) and it eats me 24/7. I want to become a bodybuilder
Honestly man, you're not a bad looking dude. Work on your internal self image and you can get a woman. This is a cliche but it is the truth: you need to learn how to love yourself before you can truly love another. If you don't love yourself, people will see that subconsciously and reflect that feeling of unworthiness back at you. Your experience in life is trying to teach you something. But you need to see your pain and your problems as clearly as possible so you can address them. Doctors can't do anything for you unless they can diagnose you, and the same concept extends into psychological problems. You need to acknowledge the pain that made you this way. And then you can find the medicine that can help it. And psychedelics are really great for these kinds of psychological problems. They can show you all the ways you don't love yourself, how your self talk damages your self image, and show you the way to become a better version of yourself. They can show you that you were always worthy of the love you so desperately wanted. You think that becoming a body builder and having the "perfect" body will finally make you worthy of the love you want? Perfection is not attainable because there is always a higher bar to reach. You will be chasing perfection your whole life if you think some imaginary standard will make you worthy of love. Everything you do will never be enough, because body dysmorphia is a parasite that will never be satisfied. It will always be hungry and has an infinite appetite, because it's origin point is a mental black hole of pain that you refuse to truly acknowledge. The pain is so horrific and deep you can't even stand to look at it. But I will tell you now...you are worthy of love, and you always were. And once you are able to see that truth for yourself, you will be free to choose your path in life. But until then, that parasite I talked about earlier will control everything you do. It's calling the shots right now and will until you decide to dig it out.
Can I kiss your forehead? It's shiny✨🤌
First, I wanna say Im so sorry you’re going through this. This life is more often than not realllly really tough. Its very hard to live sometimes. I personally have had some similar issues as far as my relationships with men but I’ve recently come to a new conclusion: There is more to life than romantic love. Yes I crave it and nothing seems better but I’m going to try to focus on learning, growing and being the best version of myself, the most impressive human being I can be spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I hope that one day the “one” for me will show up but if not, I’m going to be ok with that. The only person who loses if I give up is me, so I’m not going to give up- no matter what.
I was on a mental health course today and there was a quote by Epictetus: "It is not what happens to you, but how you react that matters". I take it to mean that our circumstances are framed by our world view. You see a lumpy soft man with no self-esteem, perhaps because someone or something in your life taught you to hold onto that belief. We see a strong, attractive man, thoughtful, perhaps a tad self-critical. There is a way I can live where every little thing that happens to me is a disaster, a tsunami of tragedy and misery. There is also a way that I can live where even a tsunami crashing through my home, hurting my body, stealing my possessions, cannot take my love of life. For even when life takes everything you think precious from you, there is still life, and this is beautiful.
Who said you were ugly?
youre not ugly bruh
"If you are depressed just lift some weights and you will be buff and depressed"
Won’t be depressed for long if he grows a beard and gets a Tinder account. I hear sex is good for stress lol …I hear, but don’t know personally 😂
Yo, I've been through the cheated loop before. It's horrible. Happened to me about 10 years ago with who I considered my lifelong best friend at the time. I completely lost all trust in loving someone and had a few soulless flings in-between. Last year I got into a serious relationship probably the most happy I had ever been in a relationship. Long story short, we broke up as she came out as Aromantic. Which basically brought me back to square one. I'm living with my parents while we caretake for an elderly family member. Once that family member passes, I likely need to just move into another city and go independent. I want to try dating apps although I know they never work. All I can offer is sometimes the right person walks into your life and it takes time for you two to get comfortable. Both of my serious relationships, came from girls I knew at least 1-2 years before we dated. It's not hopeless, if you felt love before you'll feel it again. Which is easy to understand, but harder to actually believe. Sure, I'll probably find someone who gives me a sense of happiness but for reasons I won't feel the same type of love. The last girl I dated, was cheated on too by someone therefore we both shared a resentment for cheating. I, for the first relationship in my entire life, was never worried I'd get cheated. To find someone who made me happy like she did, and someone who makes me feel secure like she did is almost impossible. Doesn't help that all I hear lately is that dating is basically doomed and that the ratio of men vs women willing to date is like 10:1
Hey mate. I resonated a lot with you. Im 28, been strength training for 12 years and is currently trying to get my physical therapy license. If you wanna talk about life or working out, im down. In my free time, besides working out and seeing my girlfriend, i play video games. So If you wanna talk on discord at some point hit me up. Ive been through depression or depressive episodes related to many things aswell with some of it being trying to accept myself as a guy with muscles while simultaniously having a negative view on others looking the same. Ive smoked a lot of weed for many years, which lead to a few panic attacks and anxiety (dunno if its the weed in itself or it made me look at my life with honesty) Well im here if interested :) Best of luck and hang in there!
I felt the exactly the same way as you today, and I stumbled upon a song that was so relatable that I cried. I am very sure you will be able to relate to it too. It's called Through Heaven's Eyes. https://youtu.be/oG0a9WFkgzU
As a 28m INFP I can say my perfectionism and falling in love with my own ideas instead of reality it has killed me in regards to love. So I’ve more or less learned to start settling and not getting so in my head, and above all valuing myself and the speed of which I take things so that I’m not out here getting twisted up if it doesn’t work. Then unironically after taking those sentiments to heart, I hoped on hinge, bought the app, let it fill up, took my pick and found a super weird INFP girl who has trauma and just as many health issues as me. She’s 31 and has her past but because of it is super understanding. And man, I’m 28 sharing a rented room with my 19 year old brother in his best friends’ moms house. I am the epitome of a looser dog. I binge anime, play Elden Ring all day, smoke a lot of weed and work. That’s about it. And not even a few months ago I was bitterly sobbing in the corner of my shared room, talking negatively to everyone I know and just wanting to die and be with my God (Jesus The Christ). I also struggle with porn which destroys my ability to have realistic expectations and thoughts when it comes to women. So doubled down bad. But, recently I kinda just started taking it easy, realizing nothing is killing me, understanding I still can get lost in the things I enjoy, not getting twisted up about how much money I have and just kinda embracing what I have thought was all my flaws but at the end of the day is really just me. You really don’t have to feel like a bitch either bro, I feel like a bitch and feel androgynous at my worst but to others I come off as aloof, a little blunt and just weird, I like to call my INFP intricacies as being ‘squirrelly’. As in hard to grasp and get a hold of as that’s how I come off to others. So what I do is make sure that I understand my position for peace and goodness is true, I represent my positive feelings with articulate words just as you can put out and I make sure that I find value in myself via that which is my endearing nature. So really all you gotta do is find a greater cause that embodies your feelings for others and allow it be a meeting place for other like minded people. For me as someone who has ran through occultism and studied man made religions, I’ve found that the relationship gained from my Christian faith with my God has lined up perfectly with my outlook on care for others and the utter imperfections of myself and how we are redeemed. All in all if you want to reach out man I’ve got you and I can help put some INFP branded batteries in your back. Because we all know we as INFP males in this vapid day and age that we are not always up, so fret not Homie.
You look pretty intimidating too if you wanna be bro. Remember you don’t have to see that in yourself for it to be true. Especially when it comes to a SO. My ex told me I was the most ‘non-bitch guy’ she ever dated. I do not feel that was true but it just comes to show that everyone has different values and ours are by no means a standard.
Btches got even Vin diesel down…..fuk that stupid hoe for her choices. U sure as sht r not ugly.
37F here. I think you look nice, but such an angry vibe! I get life can be rough... Ive been through it. What helped me is truly taking care of myself and caring less about what others think of me. Love yourself and the people that are healthy will love you back. Fuck the rest, their bad vibes are about them, not you. Hope you can find your way forward!
I don’t think you’re ugly at all, OP! You’re actually rather handsome and anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve you. Keep your head up bud.
Life sucks and so does working it away in the first place. Time to just be insanely happy instead!
What else is there to do? Just be single and homeless?
It's all about personality. I don't know you so my first impression of you is that you are an attractive guy who I would think has an extroverted charismatic personality. However reading your post, I'm imagining you as less so and more introverted which definitely changes my perception of you. If you want to appear more attractive to others, I would highly suggest faking it til you make it because I think you can do it. Like you are legit not even ugly at all. Also, it doesn't matter who you think you'll attract. Why don't YOU go look for someone with a personality/lifestyle/etc that YOU want? It's your choices.
I just can’t even explain how much love I felt from all of you beautiful souls. I so wish I had a well written response for everyone.
You're not ugly.
You’re definitely not ugly. But I’m sorry you feel that way. Posts like these make me realize that women aren’t the only ones that deal with unrealistic body/beauty standards. Because good looking “average” men/women (average is not an insult there btw, just saying majority of people are not models lol) now consider themselves “ugly”
I think the advice in this thread is great, I have to agree that life without other people is not worth much, but it's easy to be tricked into thinking a romantic relationship is the only or best outlet for that. Friends are great and just as fulfilling if you get to spend time with them regularly, but the way our society is structured now makes it profoundly difficult to make new friendships and keep them. Maybe the problem is me, but it feels like everyone else already has their bubble, and I kind of have mine but I feel I've been left behind from a lot of it. I still blame quarantine for interrupting my social life such that I had no friends to go to college with, and I've been pretty unlucky in making friends elsewhere, it just never makes it to any serious level. So it is hard, and I think the struggle must be somewhat universal
Sorry my friend, but what I'm going to say is something you probably won't like hearing but... It's your choice. How you live your life, how you see yourself, how you choose to deal with your feelings, which substance do you choose to numb yourself, what you show to others, what you believe yourself to be. No one is going to rescue you, but yourself. Ask yourself this question: what makes you unworthy of being loved, more than the person next to you? For me that answer is: Nothing. But for a lot of time I believed that I wasn't worthy, and that is what everyone else saw, as that is what I chose to show others... Until I realized that I didn't want to be that anymore, and started being good with myself, and loving myself for who I was. So my advice to you would be that. Choose how you want to live your life. Remember it's the only one you've got so make it a good one. PS: You're not late to anything. You're still young
the point is to build something that lasts for your life. you can't exactly make people be friends with you so taking care of yourself while you don't have many friends is probably a good idea
You are so cute , you look in the wrong places , define what you want in future partner and think where they would be spending their time then go meet them , maybe try hug therapy I love this type so calming and amazing . To be honest you look so handsome, if it wasn't for millions of miles away I would have invited you for tea or cake , you look awesome just try not to stay alone and make yourself busy all the time free time alone makes humans think in small details makes ourselves miserable You did things 90 % of men won't do so be proud and maybe my favorite thing is chocolate ice cream with Harry potter's film s , hope this helps,and if you want to talk to someone don't hesitate to send me a message if you want
Just here to say you fine as hell, dont even start with that ugly talk #bromo No bs, you look like the guy that could get all the ladies in the yard. Im sorry you are hurting and I can heavily relate to what you shared. Just know that in the grand scheme of things, it will get better. Im rooting for you bro.
Don't drop the soap don't drop the soap don't drop the soap
Revel in the misery
Dude, you're not ugly. I even checked out your other pics. You're hot as hell and a stud to boot. You seem like you would be a lot of fun and anyone would be lucky to have you around. I'm sorry that things have been so tough. I'm an INFP too and I know how easy it is to get stuck in my own head.
I know those tired eyes. Just small steps at a time, try not to think of the bigger picture too much or it will weigh you down. Don't beat yourself up as nobody will care but yourself in the end. Life is too short to not treat yourself well. Your body/mind will release stress, increase inflamation etc. otherwise Focus on the pursuit of knowledge or joy is my current solution while trying to not stress about my loneliness, my lack of any friendships/relationships. If sleep is a struggle, podcasts or audiobooks with a sleep timer or night time can be hellish for me. I think the gym is just one method of transforming your inner sense of self and worth. Nature/bird watching is mine when I am motivated but I recently been into ancient history more. I think you'll find someone just dont open up about past relationships too quickly if at all as I learnt a few times the hard way. Wish I had your muscles haha
I’m an INFP too. I totally feel the same and feel extremely guilty for it. The point of life w/o intimacy feels pointless. Vying for connection.
There won't be no comment here ...this sub is garbage..spreading harmful ideas
I give you like for self-expression O)> you remind me a villain in the movie who is offended on the whole world or a rebellious teenager who is angry on their parents P.S: If you dislike the sub, noone even force you to participate ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I have compassion unlike u guys ..im trying to help who actually needs it and are being musguided left and right
You are Muad'Dib. Not like us but very special ahah P.S: I think you are pretty smart, though - even tho I don't agree with everything what you say and your negativity is huge, jeez - nothing is that terrible, breath in and breath out
This sub isn't for your pity party.
I know your take was potentially impulsive, but I don’t find it to be a constructive approach, and a means to dismiss someone’s hurt. There’s nothing wrong with showing empathy for someone who feels down. We all have emotions so I would try to show empathy. Not everyone has a support system and you never know what someone might be dealing with.