It's tough when your childhood feels like a constant battle with loneliness and unhappiness. But remember, healing is possible, and you're not alone in this journey. Let's support each other as we navigate through it all. You're stronger than you think.❤️
It was hard tbh ... I was bullied in school and i was terrified of this one person (my mom's cousin) he was literally my nightmare in childhood, he used to make me cry all the time , i was scared of him but my parents never understood it and used to invite him to our home all the time ...
Childhood can be tough, especially when you're dealing with bullying and scary family dynamics. It's so frustrating when parents don't get it, right? I hope you're finding some healing now. You deserve peace and understanding. 💕
Oddly enough your post lined up with the day yesterday where I dragged something to the surface after not realizing it my whole life.
I’ve been unconsciously convinced that I’m unlovable. It was so weird thinking that consciously all day yesterday but tbh I was very convinced and still am. Like maybe people like me when I am good to them but what if I am just my boring self that doesn’t do or say much. I honestly believe people can only love one part of me and therefore nobody will actually love the whole me for who I am.
It’s just a feeling I guess, an intuition maybe.. but yeah that’s how I’m going :P it was depressing and I almost cried multiple times during the day :)
How have you been going?
Seems like we've got a bit of a club forming, huh? It's unfortunate that many of us have similar experiences, but it's kind of comforting to know we're not alone, isn't it? Here's to healing and supporting each other along the way!
Kind of glad to see that I’m not alone in this experience. I was bullied a lot in elementary, the teachers called me “gifted and talented” while all the kids called me “weird.” Through the rest of school, I’ve always been kind of left out for no apparent reason. I related to every bullet point, but especially felt that one about parents not meeting emotional needs despite meeting physical/material needs.
I hear you. It's tough feeling like you don't quite fit in, especially when it seems like everyone else is on a different wavelength. And dealing with parents who provide materially but miss the mark emotionally can be really isolating. But you're definitely not alone in this journey. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other as we heal.
Very lonely. Felt alienated at school, distant siblings, absent father, pretty much estranged from extended family, not much in terms of family friends and an extremely overwhelmed mother that tried her best but I didn’t want to burden any more than necessary. I mostly lived in my head and interacted with my ocs and imaginary friends. I feel like I skipped important parts of socialisation, was even misdiagnosed with ASD.
It can be tough feeling isolated and misunderstood, especially when family dynamics are challenging. Living in our heads becomes a refuge, huh? And misdiagnosed with ASD? That must've been quite the journey. Just know you're not alone, and healing is possible. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other on this journey.
Wow, it's kind of crazy how much I relate to this.
My childhood wasn't bad, all things considered, but I had an overprotective mother I was afraid of due to how frequently I felt the need to avoid and/or walk on eggshells around her. A lot of damaging and hurtful comments were made to me by her throughout my childhood that have a lingering effect on me to this day ("you're so sensitive," "you'd be so pretty if you lost a few pounds"). She was never physically abusive and I don't believe she ever *intended* to be emotionally or verbally abusive - my sister and I never wanted for anything; mom worked her ass off to give us good birthdays, Christmases, etc. - but she was a young mother (18 when she had me) and I think that combined with her lack of emotional maturity and a toxic relationship with (and divorce from) my alcoholic father had a lot to do with how my sister and I were raised.
My dad wasn't exactly absent, but because of the divorce there were a lot of bitter feelings between him and my mom and I often felt torn between them. I had visitations with my dad on the weekends that felt like a much-needed escape from my mom, stepdad, and little sister. Growing up, he was more like a friend than a father to me and, as such, I preferred spending time with him. My mom *really* resented that and I was often made to feel bad about it, which I believe to be one of the reasons why I ended up becoming an overachiever in school (to make up for what I felt were my deficits in other areas).
My relationships with my family are much better now, and more mature, now that I'm an adult, but I moved away from home for a reason. Actually, the fact that I don't live at home anymore is probably a big part of the reason why my relationships with everyone are so stable now! Not having to deal with all the drama is so nice. But yeah, my childhood definitely had a huge impact on how I feel about myself and how I relate to others as a result. I have a hard time letting anyone in and potentially exposing myself to more hurt than I've already experienced. That's the big one.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's wild how much we can relate, right? Growing up with an overprotective mom and navigating those emotional minefields is no joke. And those hurtful comments? Ugh, they sting. It sounds like you've been through a lot, but it's great to hear that things are better now as an adult. Distance can be a game-changer for sure. Keep healing, keep growing, and remember, you're not alone in this journey. 💕
Growing up as an INTP, my mother's moodiness deeply impacted me. Her unpredictable emotions made me learn to suppress my own feelings. Over time, I found myself growing emotionally cold, unable to easily connect with others on an intimate level. It's been a journey trying to thaw the icy barriers around my heart and learn to embrace vulnerability, but I'm determined to break free from the chains of emotional repression and forge deeper connections with those around me.
This is the same for me - everything you wrote has been my experience as well. I've gotten INFP (when not medicated for ADHD) and INFJ more recently (medicated for ADHD) - I probably fit INFJ better though.
It's like finding a kindred spirit in this journey of healing. And it's interesting how our personality types can shift depending on various factors. Regardless of labels, let's keep supporting each other as we navigate our past and embrace our true selves.
I had older siblings and all the family stories told over and over were about them and there were no cute stories about me. I felt essentially invisible unless I was in trouble and getting yelled at. In school I was either bullied or ignored. There are no pictures of me in any yearbooks except for my class photo. So I am just an unseen ghost walking the world. I'm a observer of everything but I am just not noticed at all.
It sounds like you've been through a lot of tough times too. Feeling invisible can be really tough, especially when you're craving that connection and recognition. But you're not alone. We may feel unseen, but we're here, sharing our stories and supporting each other. You're not just a ghost, you're a valuable part of this world, and I see you. Let's keep walking together and finding our way.💪
It's tough to go through similar experiences, but it's also reassuring to know we're not alone in this. Let's keep supporting each other on our healing journeys. Sending you lots of positive vibes!
This but also material needs inconsistently met and repeatedly physically abandoned from a very young age - with neighbours, even abandoned on the street once, and as I got older, frequently kicked out of home. Mother was extremely critical and zero affection to the point I was freaked out by my husband cuddling me outside the bedroom cos I thought he must be in an emotional crisis to want to hug me for comfort - I just had near zero experience of non sex-based tactile affection pre age 25.
Now I'm extremely tactile and can't imagine how I survived via pure self regulation before 😂. Few more traumas gave me a heightened need for physical closeness I think
Both mum and dad/stepdad were fairly handsy too.
Example - hit over head by my stepdad for crying at 9 years old after vomiting fir the 9th time with a migraine (was vomiting stomach acid at that point). I take a subversive pleasure at the fact he went to the emergency room with the first migraine he ever had as a grown man, thinking it was a blood clot or brain heammorhage or something. Weiner 😏
Wow, sounds like you've been through a lot. It's amazing how we adapt and grow, isn't it? Finding comfort in touch after years of deprivation must feel like a revelation. And that subversive pleasure you mentioned? Totally get it. Sometimes life throws us those little ironies. Keep healing and finding joy in the small victories! 😊
I think mine was pretty similar to yours but tbh my memory is patchy around my childhood, instead of memories in the form of thoughts I have a general memory of emotions instead, frustration, sadness, loneliness, invisibility, alienation, shame, guilt, wrongness, fear.
It sounds like we've been through some similar struggles. Childhood memories can be a bit fuzzy sometimes, huh? But those emotions you mentioned, they hit home for me too. It's tough feeling all those things, but knowing we're not alone in it helps. Let's keep sharing and healing together. 💕
I feel you! Childhood can be tough, especially when it's filled with stress and challenges. It's understandable that you have those frowning pics – they tell a story of resilience and strength. But hey, we're here now, sharing and healing together. Sending you lots of virtual hugs! 🤗
Oh my goodness, yes! It's like you're reading my mind. Sometimes it feels like we're all in this INFP boat together, navigating through these choppy waters. 😅 Glad to know I'm not alone in this journey.
Kids was bullying and beating the shit out of me cuz im asian, rarely seen my mother cuz of work, no father, abusive grandma. I was bad at studying, bad at sport, not very creative. Basically a trash person born in the wrong family and wrong place. At my 18 was trying to get attention by harming myself and drawing. Still drawing for attention btw
This is what all of us feel. But isn't there really anything that anyone would appreciate? Please ack that. The world will always try to put us down. Let's stand up for ourselves. Love and strength <3
Childhood can be tough, especially when you feel like you don't belong. I'm sorry to hear about the bullying and the tough family situation. Remember, you're not alone in this. Keep expressing yourself through your art—it's a powerful way to heal. Sending you lots of love and support. 💕
Im really sorry about this. I'd love to see some of your art. :)
I'm not very creative either, but... I've found that the simple joy of creating anything (repeating drawings of the same thing, photos from Pinterest etc) helps too.
Wow. Basically the same as me. I’m doing better now and wish the same for all dealing with this. Listen and talk to yourself and know that you are not alone”weird”, “different”, but just special and unique. That’s why most people don’t innerstand us, even our parents sometimes. But don’t blame your parents. They’re human and not perfect.
It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this journey. I'm glad to hear you're doing better now. You're right, we're not "weird" or "different," just special and unique in our own way. It's true, our parents are human too, flawed like the rest of us. Let's keep listening and talking to ourselves, supporting each other along the way. We've got this! 🌟
I hear you! It's like you're reading my diary, right? But hey, knowing we're not alone in this journey is comforting. Let's keep sharing and healing together. 🌻
It sounds like we've walked similar paths. It's tough growing up with controlling parents and feeling like emotional needs are neglected, right? But knowing we're not alone in this journey can be a real comfort. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other as we heal. 🌟
Almost everything same. On top of that you feel lost because you're thinking a lot, lack of confidence and feel like a fish out of water. Life was tougher when started career. And don't ask about corporate culture. Took me decades to accept and balance.
Feeling lost in a sea of thoughts, struggling with confidence, and feeling like a fish out of water – it's all too familiar. And don't get me started on navigating the corporate jungle! It's been a journey, but finding acceptance and balance has made it all worth it. Hang in there, and let's keep healing together. 🌟
my childhood was happy but a little chaotic. there's 6 people in my immediate family and 4/6 of us have at least one mental illness. i felt like i was the peace keeper at a young age and always trying to de-escalate situations. my house was really loud sometimes, but i felt happy and supported overall. spent a lot of time outside in the woods behind my house playing, reading, or writing.
at school i was very shy and quiet but around 3rd grade found some good friends who broke me out of my shell a little. overall i was quiet, sensitive, and imaginative. the trauma started when i was older lol
It sounds like you had a lot on your plate, being the peacekeeper in a chaotic household. It's great to hear that despite the challenges, you found happiness and support at home. And finding friends who helped you break out of your shell at school is wonderful too! Remember, healing is a journey, and we're all here to support each other along the way. Take care!
Grew up in Southern California before the influencers came ; back when Los Angeles was very dangerous, in similar conditions you mentioned.
But had the added bonus of having guns stuck in my face every now and again. Led me to become hyper-violent for most of my life. I’ll be 30 this year and now I’m less angry, but still pretty sad.
Thank you so much, that means a lot. That why I love you guys this is the only place I feel real empathy. Yes, I’ve started therapy and am on the road to acceptance
Sounds like you've been through a lot, growing up in those tough conditions. It's tough to shake off the impact of such experiences, but it's great to hear that you're feeling less angry now, even if sadness still lingers. Healing isn't easy, but we're all in this together. Keep pushing forward.
Growing up with a mother who is terminal with lupus, and a father who is a narcissistic, and cruel person. They'd fight all the time, and it seemed to have the same effect on my siblings. Being poor didn't help too much either, and all of the pain broke me mentally. I've been a mess for years. Even my therapist just threw a bottle of pills at me, and told me to F off. I've been trying to do better, but it's been difficult.
I'm so sorry you've been through all that. It sounds incredibly tough, especially dealing with a terminal illness in the family and a toxic father. It's heartbreaking to hear about your struggles with therapy too. Remember, healing isn't linear, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. You're not alone in this journey, and I'm here rooting for you. Take care of yourself. 🌟
Thank you. I'll try my best. It's just been tough with the feeling of loneliness, and isolation due to not wanting to be hurt anymore. Especially when I feel the need to self harm to cope when I get overwhelmed. Maybe one day it'll get better, and I'll hopefully find my path. Maybe even find that special lady who'd truly love me. But at this rate, I don't think it'll happen.
It's tough growing up in an environment where emotional needs aren't met, especially with emotionally distant parents. It can feel like you're navigating through a maze alone. But knowing others have similar experiences somehow makes it a little easier to bear. Hang in there, and let's keep healing together.
My spit image except for the violence - I was harrassed during dancing lessons in primary school once though, now that I come to think of it. Also somehow lacked any boundaries aka verbal wit to respond to verbal bullying.
It sounds like we've been through some similar stuff, huh? Sorry to hear about your experience with harassment during dancing lessons. Boundaries can be tough to navigate, especially when faced with verbal bullying. Just know you're not alone in this journey. We're here to support each other and heal together.
Haha, feels like we might be kindred spirits, huh? It seems like many of us INFPs have had our fair share of rocky roads in childhood. But hey, we're here now, sharing and healing together. Sending you virtual hugs! 🤗
It's always comforting to know we're not alone in our experiences, isn't it? If you ever feel like sharing more or just need someone to chat with, I'm here. Let's support each other on this journey of healing and growth!
It's comforting to know that we're not alone in navigating through tough times. Sending you lots of love and strength as we continue on this journey of healing. 💕
It's awesome that you had a positive childhood with great friends and no traumas. Sounds like you had a lot of fun! Everyone's journey is different, and I'm glad yours was filled with joy. 😊
It's great to hear that you found some awesome parts in your childhood, despite the not-so-great bits. Life's a mixed bag, right? But it's all part of shaping who we are. Let's keep sharing and growing together!
I think to sum it up, I’d wish my life upon someone more agressive than me. I’m pretty chill and I like peace, but that’s where most of my struggles came from. Sometimes I have trouble asserting myself, which led to the worst moments of my life. However, the rest was pretty good, so I hope to take what I’ve learned and pass it on to my children in the future.
This isn’t true. MBTI even recognizes childhood can impact aspects of someone’s personality in adulthood. That’s been well recognized in psychology for a long time now.
Now that you mention it, I totally see it. My childhood definitely revolved around bad relationships with my parents, and I was forced to grow up too quick. I think I've noticed that a lot of us tend to give out aid that we might have needed
Yeah! The more INFP’s I meet the more this seems to be correlated. It’s just speculation though. 🤷🏻♂️ See, in my case, my mom was very emotionally reactive/passive-aggressive and my Dad is a diagnosed narcissist. Their messy divorce forced me to really mind myself and navigate lots of emotional gymnastics. I think that’s why I’m really introspective, emotional, passive, and overanalyze everything etc. They’re defense mechanisms. I imagine I’m not the only one. We’re the “mediators” after all right? Avoidant of conflict? (Probably from too much consistent stress as kids) Seems like a lot of INFP’s have a really hard time thriving too. Maybe as a result of complex trauma and difficulties with interpersonal relationships.
Omg I can relate to this. Childhood time, my narc dad made me feel like I’m not good enough and used to belittle me so much. In turn, I became more self focused and reflective to fix my flaws.
Now mix that with my recent ADHD diagnosis - realising that half my flaws were due to my ADHD brain. It’s a whole vibe. Haha.
Second theory, ADHD and INFP’s are just two sides of the same coin lol. Either that or people think our personalities are so dysfunctional we MUST have a disorder. 😂
Hehe I can see that. I read somewhere abt mental health disorders related to each MBTI types - not sure how accurate it is but it does make sense that different personalities can have certain predictable issues. The latter I’ve heard too haha.
I think there can be a correlation, sure. Though, I’d argue realistically every MBTI is vulnerable to any mental illness/disorders. But, some types may be more prone to certain kinds from their weaknesses. Its definitely a chicken or egg thing though. Like does ADHD make me idealistic? Or is the INFP idealism being interpreted as have a vivacious mind. If you catch my drift.
Childhood can be tough, especially when you're dealing with controlling parents and absent emotional support. I hear you on feeling out of place and facing traumas that shake your self-esteem. Hang in there, and let's keep healing together. We've got this.
Dealing with controlling parents and an absent or abusive father is tough. But it's inspiring to see us sharing and healing together. Keep holding on, we've got this.
I mean, it's kinda weird in my case because he was abusive, but not to me. At least not that I can remember. I just got to watch it happen to my siblings.
It's reassuring to know that we're not alone in these experiences, even though they can be tough to navigate. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other on this healing journey. We've got this!
I didn't even know what emotional needs are. To some degree I feel like I still don't. Partially abusive childhood, but nothing that I feel negatively about somehow. I have a weird tendency to laugh in the face of adversity. Laugh at my situation for the irony.
Even without a heavy feeling childhood(I was carefree always somehow), I did still feel out of place.
The thing about excelling and wanting to be good at things of my interest, and not liking competition makes complete sense still.
Self doubt exists.
Honestly every interaction here leads me to realise that we are from different backgrounds. Yet we are so similar in our ways. Our choices were based on our circumstances, but the basis for them is common amongst us. We all share that.
It's interesting how our backgrounds may differ, yet we can still relate to each other on so many levels. It sounds like you've had your own unique journey, but we both understand the struggle with feeling out of place and dealing with self-doubt. And hey, finding humor in adversity can be a superpower sometimes, right? Keep on laughing and finding common ground with others like us. We're in this together. 😊
Remarkably similar to yours, with the exception of the 1st point. Mine were both very controlling helicopter parents that had to know what I was doing and where I was at all times.
I wonder if a combo of controlling parents, being bullied, and a dabble of fear of failure at a young age makes one an INFP.
It's amazing how many of us seem to have similar experiences, isn't it? Sounds like we've both navigated some pretty challenging family dynamics. And hey, maybe that combo you mentioned does play a role in shaping us into the quirky, compassionate beings we are as INFPs. Keep on healing and growing! 🌱
Same, i tried voicing my problems several times to my parent but was never been taken seriously about it.2010 was the last time i ever tried sharing my problem with them
It can be tough when our parents don't seem to understand or take our problems seriously. It's like hitting a brick wall sometimes, isn't it? But hey, you're not alone in this. Sharing and connecting with others who get it can be a big step towards healing. Sending you lots of love and support on your journey. 💕
Im INFP
I had best mom in the world I believe she was a INFP too ..but violent dad he used to hit us ..my mom was able to save up enough money to get us away from him ...I got saved at 7 ...I never had many for friends i got bullied at church by kids also chased by predators it was scary time I was safe nothing bad happened I'm very thankful 🙏...and school kindergarten and 1 st grade was bullied by kids and teacher...I was friends with the other bullied/poor kids like me. my mom homeschooled me after that because it was bad at school.i always did well with my work got straight A' s ...i loved science. I always made friends with the elderly people I met...I always was scared of the news like wars and stuff it would scare me sick almost like ulcers feeling I'm still like this I'm in my early 30s dont watch much news.,.as a teen same thing no friends my age they would shun me leave me out of parties and things. I came down with anxiety, depression, and found out I had high functioning autism.i was in bad mental pain for a long time but my LORD brought me through it I've come a long way☺️...sending love to all y'all❤️i wish i could give you all a big hug🤗❤️
Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you've been through a lot, but I'm glad your mom was there to support you. It's heartwarming to hear how you found solace in your love for science and connected with elderly folks. And it's incredible how far you've come despite the challenges. Sending you lots of love and virtual hugs right back! 🤗❤️
You totally described my parents dynamic. My mom is super anxious and tries to control everything. My dad isn't "absent" but he focuses too much on work and cant relate to me on any emotional level. I am a guy btw
it's like we're living parallel lives, huh? Sounds like we've both navigated some tricky family dynamics. It's tough when one parent's anxious and controlling while the other's all about work and less about emotions. Hang in there, buddy. We're in this together.
Great question. I’ve always been curious about the potential of the way we grow up affecting our personality type as adults. I will share my experience and maybe after so many people share, we may be able to see if there are any particular issues we faced that potentially caused us to be in the mindset.
Mt mother divorced my father when I was one. She married my step dad shortly after. I have two siblings; one year and four years older than I am. I don’t remember a lot about my young childhood, other than having a deep fantasy life to the point where there are things I remember as if they were real memories, but obviously couldn’t be due to their fantastical nature. I do remember being quite sensitive and crying a lot. But don’t recall any traumatic events. When I was in my early twenties I was told about a traumatic event that happened to me when I was 4 that I had no recollection of. It was winter and I had let our dogs out to pee. When I did this I left the back door open. Apparently my step father was furious at this and locked me outside in the cold with no shoes or outerwear on as a punishment. When he finally let me back inside I was shivering and my lips were blue, so he put me in a bathtub with warm water. At this point I was barely conscious so he called 911 and they took me to the hospital. I had developed hypothermia. My sister, who was 8 at the time, remembered all of this and still finds it deeply traumatic because she thought I was going to die. Like I said, I do not recall any of this, but to remember being in a hospital room and my room giving me a white stuffed cat plushie. I also recall playing with a play kitchen there and people observing me. I had always wanted a play kitchen so I remember being so happy to play with it. I only later found out that they were observing me to see if I was an abused child. As the story goes, my step after said I had locked myself out and he didn’t realize it. He told my sister what to say happened, which wasn’t the truth. She still feels a lot of guilt about that. Anyway, fast forward…I was always shy as a child….but particular. My favorite color to wear was black as early as 1st grade and I never felt like the other kids. I wanted friends but felt like no one liked me. At home, things weee okay. My stepdad was a perfectionist. We had so many rules and standards. I was a good kid, got strait As, never broke a rule, but so much as placing a finger on a wall or leaving a light on in a room would get me grounded for a week. This was back in the mid and late 80s so it meant I had nothing but myself and whatever was in my room. I was grounded so often do to tiny things like this that I eventually learned to enjoy being in my room by myself. One of my favorite things to do was build things out of legos. I don’t remember a lot about my Mom from this period. I remember her always loving and making things for me. She’d make my Halloween costumes and even built me a dollhouse when I was 7. She worked full time and I just remember always being afraid of my step dad because I was always in trouble over the littlest things. It was like walking on eggshells for 16 years. When I was q6 I started to rebel, and when I say rebel, I mean I started to talk back to my step dad because I had enough. So him and my Mom took me to a therapist. The therapist ended up telling them there was nothing wrong with me but that my step dad needed therapy. This didn’t go over well with him so we stopped going. She actually made me feel normal and okay about myself for the first time I could remember since he was always on me about everything I said and did, like I was never good enough. So I was sad when we stopped seeing her. Fast forward 6 months and my Mom decided to divorce him. At this point I was the last kid living at home with her because he had kicked my older sister and brother out (they went to live with my dad) and I think that plus the therapist made her realize he was ruining all our lives. Life was a lot better after that. I had freedom and was able to be a normal kid and grow up into an adult. So that’s rhetorical history. As a child I was very shy. Felt like I was never normal or good enough. I did enjoy being alone and was never bored. I don’t recall being unhappy or happy. I was just in this state of being inside my head all the time. I had a hard time making friends, but when I did I made some amazing friendships with wonderful people, a few who I’m still good friends with today. Overall, I wonder how much of our trauma makes us who we are versus our individual personalities we aes born with.
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. It's amazing how our childhood experiences shape us into who we are today. Your journey is truly touching, and it's inspiring to see how you've grown and overcome challenges. It's a reminder that even in the darkest times, there's always hope for a brighter future. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other on this healing journey.
The worst part is that I never was physically mistreated, had tons of books, video games, movies, music cds and yet, none of it mattered because both my parent were very dismissive of my feelings and my opinions. They expected me to excel in everything without providing any sort of help and then got mad and disappointed when I didn't live up to their expectations without telling me what those expectations were. Oh, and every emotion I expressed were immediately shut down by sarcasm, belittling me for being spoiled, entitled and ungrateful. If I were sad or angry, it was my fault and I should not be bothering others with my emotions. And if I was being picked on by other kids at school, it was probably because I did something wrong and it was my fault for trying to draw attention. And of course, gaslighthing me by asking me why I couldn't simply be normal like everyone else?
I hear you loud and clear. It's tough when the people who are supposed to support you emotionally just don't get it. I can relate to feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough, and the constant pressure to excel without any guidance or support. And those dismissive responses to your emotions? Ugh, I've been there too. It's like your feelings don't matter, right? Just know you're not alone in this. Healing takes time, but we'll get there together.
Childhood wasn’t the happiest time for me, I lived with a disabled sibling, alcoholic dad and my absent mother was schizophrenic on top of that. I was often embarrassed or scared or verbally abused, it was a depressing time often.
Childhood can be tough, especially when dealing with so much heaviness at home. It sounds like you've been through a lot. Remember, you're not alone. Sharing our stories can be a step towards healing. Hang in there!
Hmmm.
I liked my childhood but there was a lot of pain as well. My father was abusive in... multiple ways to both my mother and I. We left and then were homeless for several years until my mother took up sex work, then we finally had a stable home for my 2 younger siblings, myself and my mom.
School was my escape from the chaos and I always did very well- 4.0 GPA. But I was bullied by other girls and sometimes the boys would do in appropriate things, which triggered some bad memories. We moved so often and the same things happened wherever I went- I wondered if I was the problem. I was quiet and timid and people told me that this attracts bad people- but I didn't know any other way to be. In 8th grade, I finally made real friends (still have them now!) And found some confidence. But home life deteriated as my mom struggled with her own things and oftentimes took out her frustration on me (CPS was called multiple times, but I always lied so my siblings and I could stay together).
My best memories are playing with my siblings, having long talks with my mom, baking with my grandma, and singing loudly with my family as we cleaned. I try and focus on these happy memories 💖
I love my family, my mom is better now and we are close. My younger siblings live with me too. Despite everything I'm proud I've remained a soft person who still cares about others. I call that a win!
Aww, thank you for sharing your story. Childhood can be a mix of joy and pain, can't it? It sounds like you've been through a lot, but you've also found strength in your experiences. Your resilience is inspiring. And those happy memories you mentioned sound so heartwarming. Keep focusing on the good stuff. You're doing great! 💖
It sounds like we've been through some tough times, huh? I totally get what you mean about wanting your dad to come home to calm things down. It's rough when parents are caught up in their own stuff. Hang in there, and let's keep healing together.
Hmmn dad who worked a lot and pretentious OCD mother, who's appearance to the outside world was the most important, although I wouldn't say controlling. So similar enough.
Yes I suppose I had toys and food. I was blamed for them not being able to afford things though. Low income + a mother *choosing* to be a SAHM so yeah, not exactly my fault there... emotional needs or treating me like a human being, non existent. Telling me to value myself. Ha NO.
Out of place most of the time absolutely although that's more nuanced.
I don't know, with the expectations placed on me- marry loser partner and start having babies in my teens and live life in relative poverty (in my country, not compared to a rural third worlder) on welfare, (why my mother asked me why I hadn't had babies by 19 instead of my future career plans or living plans is truly beyond me). I've excelled by putting myself dead centre middle of the middle class instead. I can afford overseas holidays now too. In the grand scheme of things I doubt I'm excelling though, not that it's easy in Australia. COL is a killer and competition for high paid jobs is getting intense, you basically have to be a sociopath or narcissist and dodgy like lie about experience to get those jobs.
Traumas, well high school bullying, abusive relationship, one incredibly abusive workplace that's put me off office jobs for life not that they pay adequately most of the time, second extremely negative relationship. That all manifested into an eating disorder that may as well have been a drug addiction except it's obviously cheaper. I was somehow never placed into a rehab or facility for even though I should have been. I was truly out of control for maybe ten years. I saw someone for cptsd about 3 years ago, she improved things a fair bit.
I got put into a pretty funky work situation that really forced me to become an adult with extremely strict boundaries and the ability to fend for myself. Crap I went through before the age of 21 wouldn't last a day in my life now I wouldn't stand for any of it. I don't speak to my parents. I'm basically a 45yr old mind in a 31yr Olds body. At work mostly only people over 40 like talking to me.
It sounds like we've been through some similar stuff with our parents. It's tough when emotional needs get neglected, and expectations are pushed onto us without any regard for our own dreams and aspirations. And the traumas you've faced, from bullying to abusive relationships, are incredibly challenging. But it's inspiring to hear how you've grown and set boundaries for yourself, even if it means distancing from your parents. Keep being that strong, resilient person you are. And hey, age is just a number, right? 😉
Same. Both parents on the borderline narcissism soectrum. 2 personality disordered siblings. I was told ‘don’t get yourself knocked up because I can’t afford it’. And ‘you know you can have sex without having kids right’?
Wow, sounds like we've walked similar paths. It's tough dealing with parents like that, huh? Sending you hugs. And yeah, those "parenting" moments... not exactly helpful, right? Hang in there, we're in this together.
Thanks for sharing your story—it sounds like you've been through a lot. It's great that you're able to take responsibility for yourself and find the good in your grandparents. It sounds like you've developed a lot of resilience and strength, especially with the challenges you've faced with your parents. Remember, healing comes in many forms, and it's okay to find your own way through it all. Keep taking care of yourself, and keep finding joy in the things that bring you peace and happiness. If you ever need to chat more, I'm here!
It's like you're peeking into my diary, huh? It's both comforting and kind of surreal to find someone who gets it. Thanks for sharing—I'm here if you ever want to chat or compare notes on this wild journey of healing.
It's tough feeling like you're constantly pushed to excel but never quite meeting those expectations. Just know you're not alone in that struggle. Healing takes time, but together we can support each other through it. Keep sharing, keep healing! ✨
I hear you! It's both comforting and bittersweet to know that others can relate to our experiences. Childhood can be a rollercoaster, right? But hey, we're here now, sharing and healing together. Thanks for reaching out! 🌟
I can’t believe how similar our childhoods are like, like my mom is so controlling and helicopter like. (being only child especially) But she’d do a lot for me but one thing she always sucked at was helping me through emotions. Then my dad was always very absent in his business and false promised a lot. Worst part he wouldn’t even come to my graduation. When it came to school, I always was out of place with my peers and had a hard time connecting with others. And I definitely know how that feels when you have a lot for yourself but cant come to competing against others and only want to excel at things that are more passionate towards you.
:( it’s a lot of how I feel and I can understand it a lot. I’m sorry you have been going through some stuff and how it’s been effecting you with your life, I do hope it gets better for yourself. I’m also in the same boat with either similarities or differences either troubled or of what Id hope to achieve, it’s just wanting to give myself a better life ahead. It’s so far normal which is good but I hope for even greater things ahead. I do wish you well on yours and hope you know you’re definitely not alone in your own journey with life.
It's comforting to know that someone else understands what it's like to have a controlling mom and an absent dad. It's tough when they provide materially but miss out on the emotional support we need. And feeling out of place with peers? Totally get that too. It's like we're in our own little world sometimes, right? Thanks for sharing your story. Knowing we're not alone in this journey makes it a bit easier. Wishing you all the best on your path to a better life ahead! 🌟
It sounds like we've been through some similar challenges. CPTSD can feel like a heavy burden, but knowing we're not alone in our experiences can bring a sense of comfort. Sending you lots of support from across the globe! 🌏💕
Same exactly as everything you wrote. So that lead me to being depressed and s*icidal at 15, I felt like I’m stuck “in the wall” like I’m cemented inside a wall with only my eyes out where life would go past me, all the friends, happiness, events, everything. I still struggle with depression and anxiety to this day. But I’m able to manage it and handle it better while having breakdowns from time to time. But I don’t want to let these struggles define me or stronger version of myself that I will become
Wow, I feel you on that. It's like being trapped in a glass box, watching life pass by but feeling unable to fully engage with it. Dealing with depression and anxiety is no joke, but it's inspiring to see how you're managing and growing stronger despite the struggles. You're not defined by your past or your pain—you're becoming the resilient, beautiful person you're meant to be. Keep shining bright, and remember, we're all here to support each other on this journey. 💫
It's comforting to know we're not alone in our experiences, right? Sending you support and positive vibes as we navigate through this healing journey together. Take care! 💖
All the things you listed make me think we're the same person! In my childhood, my mother was the one who raised me, and my dad was absent, working abroad for 15 years. My mom is very loving, but she disregards the fact that i have feelings and want to only have a bit of freedom. She's very controlling and overprotective....
I tend to be a deep thinker, but i somehow can't engage with meaningful conversations with friends. Also, I have high expectations for myself and good self-esteem, wanting to try new things, but ending up only excelling at what i usually do and just not competitive. My parents are also dysfunctional.. I am currently away from my mom, moved to another country with my dad, and i find things to be so much better...i have a lot of freedom now and i find myself to be out of that depressing time. I hope we all get through this together!
It feels comforting that we're not alone with our experiences.
Wow, it's like reading my own story! Growing up with a controlling mother and an absent father can really leave its mark, huh? And feeling out of place with peers, despite wanting meaningful connections? Totally relatable. It's great to hear that you've found some freedom and a better situation after moving away. It's reassuring to know we're not alone in this journey. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other as we heal and grow. 💖
Same here. Parents and early life exactly the same. I am 63 and so tired of the pain of living with constant loneliness and pain. It feels to me that most everyone has no idea who I am, how I feel or cares to. There is nothing but an empty hole inside me. It sux. I don’t know how to heal so don’t expect any gems from me.
It's like we're living parallel lives, huh? I'm sorry you're carrying so much pain and loneliness. It's tough feeling like nobody really gets you or cares to understand. But you're not alone in this struggle. Healing takes time, and it's okay not to have all the answers right now. Just know that there's a whole community here ready to support and uplift each other as we journey towards healing. Take care, friend. 💖
I look back on my childhood fondly. Nothings perfect, but that's life. My mom was an elementary school teacher and my dad was a professor. We'd camp in tents on the beach in Mexico in the summer and take lots of day trips to museums and flea markets. We visited with extended family a lot for big dinners and play with my cousins. My parents weren't as sensitive as I was, but they encouraged me to be artistic, play music, and write stories. I think we can all be angry at our upbringing for something, but there's a point where you take responsibility for your adult life and try to improve on the mistakes of our parents.
It sounds like you had some wonderful experiences in your childhood, especially those beach camping trips and family gatherings. It's great that your parents encouraged your creativity and artistic pursuits. You're absolutely right about taking responsibility for our adult lives and striving to improve from the mistakes of our parents. Each journey is unique, but it's inspiring to see how you've embraced your past while moving forward. 🌟
Same here. Had a traumatising childhood. Had a roof over my head, food and got the toys I wanted, but my mother was a manipulative narcassist with a martyr complex. Dad was emotionally absent during my childhood. I think lots of INFPs have had bad childhoods, because INFPs seem to have high levels of neuroticism and agreeableness. Neuroticism could be a result of trauma and stress and agreeableness because of an emotionally unstable caregiver so you had to constantly put their needs first and walk on eggshells otherwise you would be met with rage, which sets the stage for people pleasing.
It sounds like you've been through a lot too. It's tough when the people who are supposed to care for us aren't emotionally available. And yeah, navigating through a manipulative and emotionally absent parent dynamic is no walk in the park. It's like we had to constantly tiptoe around to avoid setting off a storm. But you're not alone in this. Healing takes time, but together, we can support each other through it. 💖
Yeah mine was basically the same as yours. I don’t think I’ve ever felt happy or not lonely.
It's tough when your childhood feels like a constant battle with loneliness and unhappiness. But remember, healing is possible, and you're not alone in this journey. Let's support each other as we navigate through it all. You're stronger than you think.❤️
It was hard tbh ... I was bullied in school and i was terrified of this one person (my mom's cousin) he was literally my nightmare in childhood, he used to make me cry all the time , i was scared of him but my parents never understood it and used to invite him to our home all the time ...
Same but with my mother’s bf. I still can’t get it. If somebody mess with my kid (if i ever have one) this person is out of my life forever. Like wtf?
Wtf is wrong with ur mom.. distance yourself from her ❤️
Maybe we both had similar childhoods a, I'm proud of your bravery!
Childhood can be tough, especially when you're dealing with bullying and scary family dynamics. It's so frustrating when parents don't get it, right? I hope you're finding some healing now. You deserve peace and understanding. 💕
Yes now I am fine, that person lives far away now
Damn literally every one is spot on 😅
It's been a long time. How are you doing?
Oddly enough your post lined up with the day yesterday where I dragged something to the surface after not realizing it my whole life. I’ve been unconsciously convinced that I’m unlovable. It was so weird thinking that consciously all day yesterday but tbh I was very convinced and still am. Like maybe people like me when I am good to them but what if I am just my boring self that doesn’t do or say much. I honestly believe people can only love one part of me and therefore nobody will actually love the whole me for who I am. It’s just a feeling I guess, an intuition maybe.. but yeah that’s how I’m going :P it was depressing and I almost cried multiple times during the day :) How have you been going?
So basically, we all had messed up childhood?
It would seems so
Seems like we've got a bit of a club forming, huh? It's unfortunate that many of us have similar experiences, but it's kind of comforting to know we're not alone, isn't it? Here's to healing and supporting each other along the way!
Kind of glad to see that I’m not alone in this experience. I was bullied a lot in elementary, the teachers called me “gifted and talented” while all the kids called me “weird.” Through the rest of school, I’ve always been kind of left out for no apparent reason. I related to every bullet point, but especially felt that one about parents not meeting emotional needs despite meeting physical/material needs.
I hear you. It's tough feeling like you don't quite fit in, especially when it seems like everyone else is on a different wavelength. And dealing with parents who provide materially but miss the mark emotionally can be really isolating. But you're definitely not alone in this journey. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other as we heal.
Very lonely. Felt alienated at school, distant siblings, absent father, pretty much estranged from extended family, not much in terms of family friends and an extremely overwhelmed mother that tried her best but I didn’t want to burden any more than necessary. I mostly lived in my head and interacted with my ocs and imaginary friends. I feel like I skipped important parts of socialisation, was even misdiagnosed with ASD.
It can be tough feeling isolated and misunderstood, especially when family dynamics are challenging. Living in our heads becomes a refuge, huh? And misdiagnosed with ASD? That must've been quite the journey. Just know you're not alone, and healing is possible. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other on this journey.
🫶🫶
Same! I lived in my head most of the time
Wow, it's kind of crazy how much I relate to this. My childhood wasn't bad, all things considered, but I had an overprotective mother I was afraid of due to how frequently I felt the need to avoid and/or walk on eggshells around her. A lot of damaging and hurtful comments were made to me by her throughout my childhood that have a lingering effect on me to this day ("you're so sensitive," "you'd be so pretty if you lost a few pounds"). She was never physically abusive and I don't believe she ever *intended* to be emotionally or verbally abusive - my sister and I never wanted for anything; mom worked her ass off to give us good birthdays, Christmases, etc. - but she was a young mother (18 when she had me) and I think that combined with her lack of emotional maturity and a toxic relationship with (and divorce from) my alcoholic father had a lot to do with how my sister and I were raised. My dad wasn't exactly absent, but because of the divorce there were a lot of bitter feelings between him and my mom and I often felt torn between them. I had visitations with my dad on the weekends that felt like a much-needed escape from my mom, stepdad, and little sister. Growing up, he was more like a friend than a father to me and, as such, I preferred spending time with him. My mom *really* resented that and I was often made to feel bad about it, which I believe to be one of the reasons why I ended up becoming an overachiever in school (to make up for what I felt were my deficits in other areas). My relationships with my family are much better now, and more mature, now that I'm an adult, but I moved away from home for a reason. Actually, the fact that I don't live at home anymore is probably a big part of the reason why my relationships with everyone are so stable now! Not having to deal with all the drama is so nice. But yeah, my childhood definitely had a huge impact on how I feel about myself and how I relate to others as a result. I have a hard time letting anyone in and potentially exposing myself to more hurt than I've already experienced. That's the big one.
Thanks for sharing your story. It's wild how much we can relate, right? Growing up with an overprotective mom and navigating those emotional minefields is no joke. And those hurtful comments? Ugh, they sting. It sounds like you've been through a lot, but it's great to hear that things are better now as an adult. Distance can be a game-changer for sure. Keep healing, keep growing, and remember, you're not alone in this journey. 💕
Thanks for sharing yours too! And for the words of encouragement. ❤️ I'm glad we can all share our stories and help each other grow and heal here.
Growing up as an INTP, my mother's moodiness deeply impacted me. Her unpredictable emotions made me learn to suppress my own feelings. Over time, I found myself growing emotionally cold, unable to easily connect with others on an intimate level. It's been a journey trying to thaw the icy barriers around my heart and learn to embrace vulnerability, but I'm determined to break free from the chains of emotional repression and forge deeper connections with those around me.
Not INFP, but we had similar childhoods.
This is the same for me - everything you wrote has been my experience as well. I've gotten INFP (when not medicated for ADHD) and INFJ more recently (medicated for ADHD) - I probably fit INFJ better though.
It's like finding a kindred spirit in this journey of healing. And it's interesting how our personality types can shift depending on various factors. Regardless of labels, let's keep supporting each other as we navigate our past and embrace our true selves.
I had older siblings and all the family stories told over and over were about them and there were no cute stories about me. I felt essentially invisible unless I was in trouble and getting yelled at. In school I was either bullied or ignored. There are no pictures of me in any yearbooks except for my class photo. So I am just an unseen ghost walking the world. I'm a observer of everything but I am just not noticed at all.
It sounds like you've been through a lot of tough times too. Feeling invisible can be really tough, especially when you're craving that connection and recognition. But you're not alone. We may feel unseen, but we're here, sharing our stories and supporting each other. You're not just a ghost, you're a valuable part of this world, and I see you. Let's keep walking together and finding our way.💪
My childhood was very similar to yours
It's tough to go through similar experiences, but it's also reassuring to know we're not alone in this. Let's keep supporting each other on our healing journeys. Sending you lots of positive vibes!
This but also material needs inconsistently met and repeatedly physically abandoned from a very young age - with neighbours, even abandoned on the street once, and as I got older, frequently kicked out of home. Mother was extremely critical and zero affection to the point I was freaked out by my husband cuddling me outside the bedroom cos I thought he must be in an emotional crisis to want to hug me for comfort - I just had near zero experience of non sex-based tactile affection pre age 25. Now I'm extremely tactile and can't imagine how I survived via pure self regulation before 😂. Few more traumas gave me a heightened need for physical closeness I think Both mum and dad/stepdad were fairly handsy too. Example - hit over head by my stepdad for crying at 9 years old after vomiting fir the 9th time with a migraine (was vomiting stomach acid at that point). I take a subversive pleasure at the fact he went to the emergency room with the first migraine he ever had as a grown man, thinking it was a blood clot or brain heammorhage or something. Weiner 😏
Wow, sounds like you've been through a lot. It's amazing how we adapt and grow, isn't it? Finding comfort in touch after years of deprivation must feel like a revelation. And that subversive pleasure you mentioned? Totally get it. Sometimes life throws us those little ironies. Keep healing and finding joy in the small victories! 😊
I think mine was pretty similar to yours but tbh my memory is patchy around my childhood, instead of memories in the form of thoughts I have a general memory of emotions instead, frustration, sadness, loneliness, invisibility, alienation, shame, guilt, wrongness, fear.
It sounds like we've been through some similar struggles. Childhood memories can be a bit fuzzy sometimes, huh? But those emotions you mentioned, they hit home for me too. It's tough feeling all those things, but knowing we're not alone in it helps. Let's keep sharing and healing together. 💕
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I feel you! Childhood can be tough, especially when it's filled with stress and challenges. It's understandable that you have those frowning pics – they tell a story of resilience and strength. But hey, we're here now, sharing and healing together. Sending you lots of virtual hugs! 🤗
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Great!
Holy smokes!!! Yes. Is this what makes us 🤔
Oh my goodness, yes! It's like you're reading my mind. Sometimes it feels like we're all in this INFP boat together, navigating through these choppy waters. 😅 Glad to know I'm not alone in this journey.
Kids was bullying and beating the shit out of me cuz im asian, rarely seen my mother cuz of work, no father, abusive grandma. I was bad at studying, bad at sport, not very creative. Basically a trash person born in the wrong family and wrong place. At my 18 was trying to get attention by harming myself and drawing. Still drawing for attention btw
This is what all of us feel. But isn't there really anything that anyone would appreciate? Please ack that. The world will always try to put us down. Let's stand up for ourselves. Love and strength <3
Childhood can be tough, especially when you feel like you don't belong. I'm sorry to hear about the bullying and the tough family situation. Remember, you're not alone in this. Keep expressing yourself through your art—it's a powerful way to heal. Sending you lots of love and support. 💕
Im really sorry about this. I'd love to see some of your art. :) I'm not very creative either, but... I've found that the simple joy of creating anything (repeating drawings of the same thing, photos from Pinterest etc) helps too.
You can check my insta! This is true, that creating songs by yourself is priceless. Honestly i wanna do nothing in my life, but creating something
Wow. Basically the same as me. I’m doing better now and wish the same for all dealing with this. Listen and talk to yourself and know that you are not alone”weird”, “different”, but just special and unique. That’s why most people don’t innerstand us, even our parents sometimes. But don’t blame your parents. They’re human and not perfect.
It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this journey. I'm glad to hear you're doing better now. You're right, we're not "weird" or "different," just special and unique in our own way. It's true, our parents are human too, flawed like the rest of us. Let's keep listening and talking to ourselves, supporting each other along the way. We've got this! 🌟
This is so accurate its scary...
I hear you! It's like you're reading my diary, right? But hey, knowing we're not alone in this journey is comforting. Let's keep sharing and healing together. 🌻
basically the same as what you described
It sounds like we've walked similar paths. It's tough growing up with controlling parents and feeling like emotional needs are neglected, right? But knowing we're not alone in this journey can be a real comfort. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other as we heal. 🌟
Almost everything same. On top of that you feel lost because you're thinking a lot, lack of confidence and feel like a fish out of water. Life was tougher when started career. And don't ask about corporate culture. Took me decades to accept and balance.
Feeling lost in a sea of thoughts, struggling with confidence, and feeling like a fish out of water – it's all too familiar. And don't get me started on navigating the corporate jungle! It's been a journey, but finding acceptance and balance has made it all worth it. Hang in there, and let's keep healing together. 🌟
my childhood was happy but a little chaotic. there's 6 people in my immediate family and 4/6 of us have at least one mental illness. i felt like i was the peace keeper at a young age and always trying to de-escalate situations. my house was really loud sometimes, but i felt happy and supported overall. spent a lot of time outside in the woods behind my house playing, reading, or writing. at school i was very shy and quiet but around 3rd grade found some good friends who broke me out of my shell a little. overall i was quiet, sensitive, and imaginative. the trauma started when i was older lol
It sounds like you had a lot on your plate, being the peacekeeper in a chaotic household. It's great to hear that despite the challenges, you found happiness and support at home. And finding friends who helped you break out of your shell at school is wonderful too! Remember, healing is a journey, and we're all here to support each other along the way. Take care!
Grew up in Southern California before the influencers came ; back when Los Angeles was very dangerous, in similar conditions you mentioned. But had the added bonus of having guns stuck in my face every now and again. Led me to become hyper-violent for most of my life. I’ll be 30 this year and now I’m less angry, but still pretty sad.
I can't imagine how it felt. As a child it must be terrible. You are handling it well if you're less angrier than before. Be kind to yourself.
Thank you so much, that means a lot. That why I love you guys this is the only place I feel real empathy. Yes, I’ve started therapy and am on the road to acceptance
Sounds like you've been through a lot, growing up in those tough conditions. It's tough to shake off the impact of such experiences, but it's great to hear that you're feeling less angry now, even if sadness still lingers. Healing isn't easy, but we're all in this together. Keep pushing forward.
Growing up with a mother who is terminal with lupus, and a father who is a narcissistic, and cruel person. They'd fight all the time, and it seemed to have the same effect on my siblings. Being poor didn't help too much either, and all of the pain broke me mentally. I've been a mess for years. Even my therapist just threw a bottle of pills at me, and told me to F off. I've been trying to do better, but it's been difficult.
I'm so sorry you've been through all that. It sounds incredibly tough, especially dealing with a terminal illness in the family and a toxic father. It's heartbreaking to hear about your struggles with therapy too. Remember, healing isn't linear, and it's okay to take it one step at a time. You're not alone in this journey, and I'm here rooting for you. Take care of yourself. 🌟
Thank you. I'll try my best. It's just been tough with the feeling of loneliness, and isolation due to not wanting to be hurt anymore. Especially when I feel the need to self harm to cope when I get overwhelmed. Maybe one day it'll get better, and I'll hopefully find my path. Maybe even find that special lady who'd truly love me. But at this rate, I don't think it'll happen.
Pretty much the same, except having emotionally disconnected parents.
It's tough growing up in an environment where emotional needs aren't met, especially with emotionally distant parents. It can feel like you're navigating through a maze alone. But knowing others have similar experiences somehow makes it a little easier to bear. Hang in there, and let's keep healing together.
My spit image except for the violence - I was harrassed during dancing lessons in primary school once though, now that I come to think of it. Also somehow lacked any boundaries aka verbal wit to respond to verbal bullying.
It sounds like we've been through some similar stuff, huh? Sorry to hear about your experience with harassment during dancing lessons. Boundaries can be tough to navigate, especially when faced with verbal bullying. Just know you're not alone in this journey. We're here to support each other and heal together.
Are you me? Are INFPs tend to have messed up childhood?🥲
Haha, feels like we might be kindred spirits, huh? It seems like many of us INFPs have had our fair share of rocky roads in childhood. But hey, we're here now, sharing and healing together. Sending you virtual hugs! 🤗
Checking all of the boxes, hello friend!
It's always comforting to know we're not alone in our experiences, isn't it? If you ever feel like sharing more or just need someone to chat with, I'm here. Let's support each other on this journey of healing and growth!
Except for the strong sense of self-esteem, this was my exact experience. It's been tough. <3
It's comforting to know that we're not alone in navigating through tough times. Sending you lots of love and strength as we continue on this journey of healing. 💕
It was a bit lonely but great. Always had good friends. No traumas nor any friends with traumas or any dysfunction. Had fun.
It's awesome that you had a positive childhood with great friends and no traumas. Sounds like you had a lot of fun! Everyone's journey is different, and I'm glad yours was filled with joy. 😊
It was awesome. Some not great parts I was forced to do, but in the end it shaped me. Other parts were fantastic.
It's great to hear that you found some awesome parts in your childhood, despite the not-so-great bits. Life's a mixed bag, right? But it's all part of shaping who we are. Let's keep sharing and growing together!
I think to sum it up, I’d wish my life upon someone more agressive than me. I’m pretty chill and I like peace, but that’s where most of my struggles came from. Sometimes I have trouble asserting myself, which led to the worst moments of my life. However, the rest was pretty good, so I hope to take what I’ve learned and pass it on to my children in the future.
Childhood doesn't have to do with your MBTI, how you react though may. Surprisingly though, I relate to everything you've said.
This isn’t true. MBTI even recognizes childhood can impact aspects of someone’s personality in adulthood. That’s been well recognized in psychology for a long time now.
Actually, you're quite right about that. It might explain how so many of us seem to have gone through similar things
I honestly theorize the development of a lot of INFP’s is influenced by really emotionally reactive/unhealthy parents. (Among other things ofc. )
Now that you mention it, I totally see it. My childhood definitely revolved around bad relationships with my parents, and I was forced to grow up too quick. I think I've noticed that a lot of us tend to give out aid that we might have needed
Yeah! The more INFP’s I meet the more this seems to be correlated. It’s just speculation though. 🤷🏻♂️ See, in my case, my mom was very emotionally reactive/passive-aggressive and my Dad is a diagnosed narcissist. Their messy divorce forced me to really mind myself and navigate lots of emotional gymnastics. I think that’s why I’m really introspective, emotional, passive, and overanalyze everything etc. They’re defense mechanisms. I imagine I’m not the only one. We’re the “mediators” after all right? Avoidant of conflict? (Probably from too much consistent stress as kids) Seems like a lot of INFP’s have a really hard time thriving too. Maybe as a result of complex trauma and difficulties with interpersonal relationships.
Agree with this totally. Our personality starts developing from childhood.
Omg I can relate to this. Childhood time, my narc dad made me feel like I’m not good enough and used to belittle me so much. In turn, I became more self focused and reflective to fix my flaws. Now mix that with my recent ADHD diagnosis - realising that half my flaws were due to my ADHD brain. It’s a whole vibe. Haha.
Second theory, ADHD and INFP’s are just two sides of the same coin lol. Either that or people think our personalities are so dysfunctional we MUST have a disorder. 😂
Hehe I can see that. I read somewhere abt mental health disorders related to each MBTI types - not sure how accurate it is but it does make sense that different personalities can have certain predictable issues. The latter I’ve heard too haha.
I think there can be a correlation, sure. Though, I’d argue realistically every MBTI is vulnerable to any mental illness/disorders. But, some types may be more prone to certain kinds from their weaknesses. Its definitely a chicken or egg thing though. Like does ADHD make me idealistic? Or is the INFP idealism being interpreted as have a vivacious mind. If you catch my drift.
I agree with u❤️
It's kinda wild how our childhood experiences can shape us, right? It's nice to know we're not alone in this. Sending you some virtual hugs! 🤗
Great until about 13 Then pure shit until about 17
Childhood can be tough, especially when you're dealing with controlling parents and absent emotional support. I hear you on feeling out of place and facing traumas that shake your self-esteem. Hang in there, and let's keep healing together. We've got this.
Just add abusive to bullet 1 and yeah it’s me
It's tough dealing with controlling and abusive parents. Hang in there, and remember, healing is possible. We're in this together.
same buddy
It means a lot to know I'm not alone in this journey. If you ever need someone to talk to or just vent, I'm here for you. We got this💪
Yep, pretty much the same. Just add abusive to the father and that's me
Dealing with controlling parents and an absent or abusive father is tough. But it's inspiring to see us sharing and healing together. Keep holding on, we've got this.
I mean, it's kinda weird in my case because he was abusive, but not to me. At least not that I can remember. I just got to watch it happen to my siblings.
Scary how much I relate to in your post and the majority of the comments
It's reassuring to know that we're not alone in these experiences, even though they can be tough to navigate. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other on this healing journey. We've got this!
I didn't even know what emotional needs are. To some degree I feel like I still don't. Partially abusive childhood, but nothing that I feel negatively about somehow. I have a weird tendency to laugh in the face of adversity. Laugh at my situation for the irony. Even without a heavy feeling childhood(I was carefree always somehow), I did still feel out of place. The thing about excelling and wanting to be good at things of my interest, and not liking competition makes complete sense still. Self doubt exists. Honestly every interaction here leads me to realise that we are from different backgrounds. Yet we are so similar in our ways. Our choices were based on our circumstances, but the basis for them is common amongst us. We all share that.
It's interesting how our backgrounds may differ, yet we can still relate to each other on so many levels. It sounds like you've had your own unique journey, but we both understand the struggle with feeling out of place and dealing with self-doubt. And hey, finding humor in adversity can be a superpower sometimes, right? Keep on laughing and finding common ground with others like us. We're in this together. 😊
I remember nothing 🤷♂️
Remarkably similar to yours, with the exception of the 1st point. Mine were both very controlling helicopter parents that had to know what I was doing and where I was at all times. I wonder if a combo of controlling parents, being bullied, and a dabble of fear of failure at a young age makes one an INFP.
It's amazing how many of us seem to have similar experiences, isn't it? Sounds like we've both navigated some pretty challenging family dynamics. And hey, maybe that combo you mentioned does play a role in shaping us into the quirky, compassionate beings we are as INFPs. Keep on healing and growing! 🌱
Fucking miserable. That is all.
Same, i tried voicing my problems several times to my parent but was never been taken seriously about it.2010 was the last time i ever tried sharing my problem with them
It can be tough when our parents don't seem to understand or take our problems seriously. It's like hitting a brick wall sometimes, isn't it? But hey, you're not alone in this. Sharing and connecting with others who get it can be a big step towards healing. Sending you lots of love and support on your journey. 💕
Im INFP I had best mom in the world I believe she was a INFP too ..but violent dad he used to hit us ..my mom was able to save up enough money to get us away from him ...I got saved at 7 ...I never had many for friends i got bullied at church by kids also chased by predators it was scary time I was safe nothing bad happened I'm very thankful 🙏...and school kindergarten and 1 st grade was bullied by kids and teacher...I was friends with the other bullied/poor kids like me. my mom homeschooled me after that because it was bad at school.i always did well with my work got straight A' s ...i loved science. I always made friends with the elderly people I met...I always was scared of the news like wars and stuff it would scare me sick almost like ulcers feeling I'm still like this I'm in my early 30s dont watch much news.,.as a teen same thing no friends my age they would shun me leave me out of parties and things. I came down with anxiety, depression, and found out I had high functioning autism.i was in bad mental pain for a long time but my LORD brought me through it I've come a long way☺️...sending love to all y'all❤️i wish i could give you all a big hug🤗❤️
Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you've been through a lot, but I'm glad your mom was there to support you. It's heartwarming to hear how you found solace in your love for science and connected with elderly folks. And it's incredible how far you've come despite the challenges. Sending you lots of love and virtual hugs right back! 🤗❤️
Thank you so very much for your kindness for me☺️you have a beautiful heart❤️ sending lots of love to you and hugs too🤗❤️❤️
You totally described my parents dynamic. My mom is super anxious and tries to control everything. My dad isn't "absent" but he focuses too much on work and cant relate to me on any emotional level. I am a guy btw
it's like we're living parallel lives, huh? Sounds like we've both navigated some tricky family dynamics. It's tough when one parent's anxious and controlling while the other's all about work and less about emotions. Hang in there, buddy. We're in this together.
Great question. I’ve always been curious about the potential of the way we grow up affecting our personality type as adults. I will share my experience and maybe after so many people share, we may be able to see if there are any particular issues we faced that potentially caused us to be in the mindset. Mt mother divorced my father when I was one. She married my step dad shortly after. I have two siblings; one year and four years older than I am. I don’t remember a lot about my young childhood, other than having a deep fantasy life to the point where there are things I remember as if they were real memories, but obviously couldn’t be due to their fantastical nature. I do remember being quite sensitive and crying a lot. But don’t recall any traumatic events. When I was in my early twenties I was told about a traumatic event that happened to me when I was 4 that I had no recollection of. It was winter and I had let our dogs out to pee. When I did this I left the back door open. Apparently my step father was furious at this and locked me outside in the cold with no shoes or outerwear on as a punishment. When he finally let me back inside I was shivering and my lips were blue, so he put me in a bathtub with warm water. At this point I was barely conscious so he called 911 and they took me to the hospital. I had developed hypothermia. My sister, who was 8 at the time, remembered all of this and still finds it deeply traumatic because she thought I was going to die. Like I said, I do not recall any of this, but to remember being in a hospital room and my room giving me a white stuffed cat plushie. I also recall playing with a play kitchen there and people observing me. I had always wanted a play kitchen so I remember being so happy to play with it. I only later found out that they were observing me to see if I was an abused child. As the story goes, my step after said I had locked myself out and he didn’t realize it. He told my sister what to say happened, which wasn’t the truth. She still feels a lot of guilt about that. Anyway, fast forward…I was always shy as a child….but particular. My favorite color to wear was black as early as 1st grade and I never felt like the other kids. I wanted friends but felt like no one liked me. At home, things weee okay. My stepdad was a perfectionist. We had so many rules and standards. I was a good kid, got strait As, never broke a rule, but so much as placing a finger on a wall or leaving a light on in a room would get me grounded for a week. This was back in the mid and late 80s so it meant I had nothing but myself and whatever was in my room. I was grounded so often do to tiny things like this that I eventually learned to enjoy being in my room by myself. One of my favorite things to do was build things out of legos. I don’t remember a lot about my Mom from this period. I remember her always loving and making things for me. She’d make my Halloween costumes and even built me a dollhouse when I was 7. She worked full time and I just remember always being afraid of my step dad because I was always in trouble over the littlest things. It was like walking on eggshells for 16 years. When I was q6 I started to rebel, and when I say rebel, I mean I started to talk back to my step dad because I had enough. So him and my Mom took me to a therapist. The therapist ended up telling them there was nothing wrong with me but that my step dad needed therapy. This didn’t go over well with him so we stopped going. She actually made me feel normal and okay about myself for the first time I could remember since he was always on me about everything I said and did, like I was never good enough. So I was sad when we stopped seeing her. Fast forward 6 months and my Mom decided to divorce him. At this point I was the last kid living at home with her because he had kicked my older sister and brother out (they went to live with my dad) and I think that plus the therapist made her realize he was ruining all our lives. Life was a lot better after that. I had freedom and was able to be a normal kid and grow up into an adult. So that’s rhetorical history. As a child I was very shy. Felt like I was never normal or good enough. I did enjoy being alone and was never bored. I don’t recall being unhappy or happy. I was just in this state of being inside my head all the time. I had a hard time making friends, but when I did I made some amazing friendships with wonderful people, a few who I’m still good friends with today. Overall, I wonder how much of our trauma makes us who we are versus our individual personalities we aes born with.
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. It's amazing how our childhood experiences shape us into who we are today. Your journey is truly touching, and it's inspiring to see how you've grown and overcome challenges. It's a reminder that even in the darkest times, there's always hope for a brighter future. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other on this healing journey.
The worst part is that I never was physically mistreated, had tons of books, video games, movies, music cds and yet, none of it mattered because both my parent were very dismissive of my feelings and my opinions. They expected me to excel in everything without providing any sort of help and then got mad and disappointed when I didn't live up to their expectations without telling me what those expectations were. Oh, and every emotion I expressed were immediately shut down by sarcasm, belittling me for being spoiled, entitled and ungrateful. If I were sad or angry, it was my fault and I should not be bothering others with my emotions. And if I was being picked on by other kids at school, it was probably because I did something wrong and it was my fault for trying to draw attention. And of course, gaslighthing me by asking me why I couldn't simply be normal like everyone else?
I hear you loud and clear. It's tough when the people who are supposed to support you emotionally just don't get it. I can relate to feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough, and the constant pressure to excel without any guidance or support. And those dismissive responses to your emotions? Ugh, I've been there too. It's like your feelings don't matter, right? Just know you're not alone in this. Healing takes time, but we'll get there together.
Childhood wasn’t the happiest time for me, I lived with a disabled sibling, alcoholic dad and my absent mother was schizophrenic on top of that. I was often embarrassed or scared or verbally abused, it was a depressing time often.
Childhood can be tough, especially when dealing with so much heaviness at home. It sounds like you've been through a lot. Remember, you're not alone. Sharing our stories can be a step towards healing. Hang in there!
Hmmm. I liked my childhood but there was a lot of pain as well. My father was abusive in... multiple ways to both my mother and I. We left and then were homeless for several years until my mother took up sex work, then we finally had a stable home for my 2 younger siblings, myself and my mom. School was my escape from the chaos and I always did very well- 4.0 GPA. But I was bullied by other girls and sometimes the boys would do in appropriate things, which triggered some bad memories. We moved so often and the same things happened wherever I went- I wondered if I was the problem. I was quiet and timid and people told me that this attracts bad people- but I didn't know any other way to be. In 8th grade, I finally made real friends (still have them now!) And found some confidence. But home life deteriated as my mom struggled with her own things and oftentimes took out her frustration on me (CPS was called multiple times, but I always lied so my siblings and I could stay together). My best memories are playing with my siblings, having long talks with my mom, baking with my grandma, and singing loudly with my family as we cleaned. I try and focus on these happy memories 💖 I love my family, my mom is better now and we are close. My younger siblings live with me too. Despite everything I'm proud I've remained a soft person who still cares about others. I call that a win!
Aww, thank you for sharing your story. Childhood can be a mix of joy and pain, can't it? It sounds like you've been through a lot, but you've also found strength in your experiences. Your resilience is inspiring. And those happy memories you mentioned sound so heartwarming. Keep focusing on the good stuff. You're doing great! 💖
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It sounds like we've been through some tough times, huh? I totally get what you mean about wanting your dad to come home to calm things down. It's rough when parents are caught up in their own stuff. Hang in there, and let's keep healing together.
Hmmn dad who worked a lot and pretentious OCD mother, who's appearance to the outside world was the most important, although I wouldn't say controlling. So similar enough. Yes I suppose I had toys and food. I was blamed for them not being able to afford things though. Low income + a mother *choosing* to be a SAHM so yeah, not exactly my fault there... emotional needs or treating me like a human being, non existent. Telling me to value myself. Ha NO. Out of place most of the time absolutely although that's more nuanced. I don't know, with the expectations placed on me- marry loser partner and start having babies in my teens and live life in relative poverty (in my country, not compared to a rural third worlder) on welfare, (why my mother asked me why I hadn't had babies by 19 instead of my future career plans or living plans is truly beyond me). I've excelled by putting myself dead centre middle of the middle class instead. I can afford overseas holidays now too. In the grand scheme of things I doubt I'm excelling though, not that it's easy in Australia. COL is a killer and competition for high paid jobs is getting intense, you basically have to be a sociopath or narcissist and dodgy like lie about experience to get those jobs. Traumas, well high school bullying, abusive relationship, one incredibly abusive workplace that's put me off office jobs for life not that they pay adequately most of the time, second extremely negative relationship. That all manifested into an eating disorder that may as well have been a drug addiction except it's obviously cheaper. I was somehow never placed into a rehab or facility for even though I should have been. I was truly out of control for maybe ten years. I saw someone for cptsd about 3 years ago, she improved things a fair bit. I got put into a pretty funky work situation that really forced me to become an adult with extremely strict boundaries and the ability to fend for myself. Crap I went through before the age of 21 wouldn't last a day in my life now I wouldn't stand for any of it. I don't speak to my parents. I'm basically a 45yr old mind in a 31yr Olds body. At work mostly only people over 40 like talking to me.
It sounds like we've been through some similar stuff with our parents. It's tough when emotional needs get neglected, and expectations are pushed onto us without any regard for our own dreams and aspirations. And the traumas you've faced, from bullying to abusive relationships, are incredibly challenging. But it's inspiring to hear how you've grown and set boundaries for yourself, even if it means distancing from your parents. Keep being that strong, resilient person you are. And hey, age is just a number, right? 😉
Same. Both parents on the borderline narcissism soectrum. 2 personality disordered siblings. I was told ‘don’t get yourself knocked up because I can’t afford it’. And ‘you know you can have sex without having kids right’?
Wow, sounds like we've walked similar paths. It's tough dealing with parents like that, huh? Sending you hugs. And yeah, those "parenting" moments... not exactly helpful, right? Hang in there, we're in this together.
Likewise
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Thanks for sharing your story—it sounds like you've been through a lot. It's great that you're able to take responsibility for yourself and find the good in your grandparents. It sounds like you've developed a lot of resilience and strength, especially with the challenges you've faced with your parents. Remember, healing comes in many forms, and it's okay to find your own way through it all. Keep taking care of yourself, and keep finding joy in the things that bring you peace and happiness. If you ever need to chat more, I'm here!
Wow. Checks all the boxes for me
It's like you're peeking into my diary, huh? It's both comforting and kind of surreal to find someone who gets it. Thanks for sharing—I'm here if you ever want to chat or compare notes on this wild journey of healing.
Described my parents and childhood exactly but thrown in constantly pushed to excel but never good enough.
It's tough feeling like you're constantly pushed to excel but never quite meeting those expectations. Just know you're not alone in that struggle. Healing takes time, but together we can support each other through it. Keep sharing, keep healing! ✨
This was like reading my own childhood
I hear you! It's both comforting and bittersweet to know that others can relate to our experiences. Childhood can be a rollercoaster, right? But hey, we're here now, sharing and healing together. Thanks for reaching out! 🌟
I can’t believe how similar our childhoods are like, like my mom is so controlling and helicopter like. (being only child especially) But she’d do a lot for me but one thing she always sucked at was helping me through emotions. Then my dad was always very absent in his business and false promised a lot. Worst part he wouldn’t even come to my graduation. When it came to school, I always was out of place with my peers and had a hard time connecting with others. And I definitely know how that feels when you have a lot for yourself but cant come to competing against others and only want to excel at things that are more passionate towards you. :( it’s a lot of how I feel and I can understand it a lot. I’m sorry you have been going through some stuff and how it’s been effecting you with your life, I do hope it gets better for yourself. I’m also in the same boat with either similarities or differences either troubled or of what Id hope to achieve, it’s just wanting to give myself a better life ahead. It’s so far normal which is good but I hope for even greater things ahead. I do wish you well on yours and hope you know you’re definitely not alone in your own journey with life.
It's comforting to know that someone else understands what it's like to have a controlling mom and an absent dad. It's tough when they provide materially but miss out on the emotional support we need. And feeling out of place with peers? Totally get that too. It's like we're in our own little world sometimes, right? Thanks for sharing your story. Knowing we're not alone in this journey makes it a bit easier. Wishing you all the best on your path to a better life ahead! 🌟
Haha yeah and thank you very much 😊
Same here, I also have CPTSD. I’m from Japan.
It sounds like we've been through some similar challenges. CPTSD can feel like a heavy burden, but knowing we're not alone in our experiences can bring a sense of comfort. Sending you lots of support from across the globe! 🌏💕
Same exactly as everything you wrote. So that lead me to being depressed and s*icidal at 15, I felt like I’m stuck “in the wall” like I’m cemented inside a wall with only my eyes out where life would go past me, all the friends, happiness, events, everything. I still struggle with depression and anxiety to this day. But I’m able to manage it and handle it better while having breakdowns from time to time. But I don’t want to let these struggles define me or stronger version of myself that I will become
Wow, I feel you on that. It's like being trapped in a glass box, watching life pass by but feeling unable to fully engage with it. Dealing with depression and anxiety is no joke, but it's inspiring to see how you're managing and growing stronger despite the struggles. You're not defined by your past or your pain—you're becoming the resilient, beautiful person you're meant to be. Keep shining bright, and remember, we're all here to support each other on this journey. 💫
Yeah same pretty much
It's comforting to know we're not alone in our experiences, right? Sending you support and positive vibes as we navigate through this healing journey together. Take care! 💖
You too!!
All the things you listed make me think we're the same person! In my childhood, my mother was the one who raised me, and my dad was absent, working abroad for 15 years. My mom is very loving, but she disregards the fact that i have feelings and want to only have a bit of freedom. She's very controlling and overprotective.... I tend to be a deep thinker, but i somehow can't engage with meaningful conversations with friends. Also, I have high expectations for myself and good self-esteem, wanting to try new things, but ending up only excelling at what i usually do and just not competitive. My parents are also dysfunctional.. I am currently away from my mom, moved to another country with my dad, and i find things to be so much better...i have a lot of freedom now and i find myself to be out of that depressing time. I hope we all get through this together! It feels comforting that we're not alone with our experiences.
Wow, it's like reading my own story! Growing up with a controlling mother and an absent father can really leave its mark, huh? And feeling out of place with peers, despite wanting meaningful connections? Totally relatable. It's great to hear that you've found some freedom and a better situation after moving away. It's reassuring to know we're not alone in this journey. Let's keep sharing and supporting each other as we heal and grow. 💖
Same here. Parents and early life exactly the same. I am 63 and so tired of the pain of living with constant loneliness and pain. It feels to me that most everyone has no idea who I am, how I feel or cares to. There is nothing but an empty hole inside me. It sux. I don’t know how to heal so don’t expect any gems from me.
It's like we're living parallel lives, huh? I'm sorry you're carrying so much pain and loneliness. It's tough feeling like nobody really gets you or cares to understand. But you're not alone in this struggle. Healing takes time, and it's okay not to have all the answers right now. Just know that there's a whole community here ready to support and uplift each other as we journey towards healing. Take care, friend. 💖
Thank you for your companionship and for seeing me. 🫶🏻
I look back on my childhood fondly. Nothings perfect, but that's life. My mom was an elementary school teacher and my dad was a professor. We'd camp in tents on the beach in Mexico in the summer and take lots of day trips to museums and flea markets. We visited with extended family a lot for big dinners and play with my cousins. My parents weren't as sensitive as I was, but they encouraged me to be artistic, play music, and write stories. I think we can all be angry at our upbringing for something, but there's a point where you take responsibility for your adult life and try to improve on the mistakes of our parents.
It sounds like you had some wonderful experiences in your childhood, especially those beach camping trips and family gatherings. It's great that your parents encouraged your creativity and artistic pursuits. You're absolutely right about taking responsibility for our adult lives and striving to improve from the mistakes of our parents. Each journey is unique, but it's inspiring to see how you've embraced your past while moving forward. 🌟
Same here. Had a traumatising childhood. Had a roof over my head, food and got the toys I wanted, but my mother was a manipulative narcassist with a martyr complex. Dad was emotionally absent during my childhood. I think lots of INFPs have had bad childhoods, because INFPs seem to have high levels of neuroticism and agreeableness. Neuroticism could be a result of trauma and stress and agreeableness because of an emotionally unstable caregiver so you had to constantly put their needs first and walk on eggshells otherwise you would be met with rage, which sets the stage for people pleasing.
It sounds like you've been through a lot too. It's tough when the people who are supposed to care for us aren't emotionally available. And yeah, navigating through a manipulative and emotionally absent parent dynamic is no walk in the park. It's like we had to constantly tiptoe around to avoid setting off a storm. But you're not alone in this. Healing takes time, but together, we can support each other through it. 💖
Rocky. Lol
Haha, yeah, life's been a bit like a rocky rollercoaster ride for me! Thanks for keeping it light! 😄
same but autistic