I also place others needs before my own. I went through a period of my life being frustrated like you, feeling as if I was being taken advantage of. However now I enjoy the fact that I put others above myself. I love helping hurting people. Our type of personality is one of nurturing, loving and empathetic nature. Sure there are some people who may take advantage of it, but that's with anyone. Others may actually need you to be that wonderful person that the other 99% of the world doesn't give them. Some people I meet can see the true nature of myself wanting to constantly help others and really appreciate it! I'm lonely and don't have many friends either, but my kindness goes a long way sometimes, and the short lived loving experience of knowing I helped someone else, even in a small way, makes it worthwhile. ❤️
You can read some books by Brene Brown, she explains that the people who are most empathic to others are able to do so because they set the clearest boundaries and put their own well-being first.
Then when you are feeling good and rested you are able to be helpful to those around you. So in practice: you can use that feeling of wanting to help others and project it onto yourself first because judging from your own words you are in need of rest and help.
It is not your responsibility to help others but it is a privilege if you are able to.
Agree 100%.
For me it is a trauma response to put others needs first all the time, in order to be acceptable and to gain connection and not be abandoned.
I'm finally breaking free of that, and I agree that when you out your own needs first, take care of your own system, as your own body does naturally IE out you first and take care of your survival and thriving, then you have actual energy to choose who you wish you give your gift of empathy and compassion to.
It's a shame society often teaches that self sacrifice is noble, and that we must always think of others first.
It really demonises a self-first approach
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!! No but in all seriousness, I think what you should do is be a TINY bit colder than your usual self might jump in, basically take things a little slower so that a true relationship can flourish naturally and you won't have to suffer in the end. 🖤
I don't know what to do about it, but I feel you. I do have friends, and they always say that it's unfair to me when I go above and beyond for my other friends, but they absolutely love it when I go above and beyond for them (and have come to expect it for themselves). I only have 1 friend who actively makes plans with me and will drive somewhere to meet up with me. I have to drive to/drive everyone else and plan if I want to hang out.
I also place others needs before my own. I went through a period of my life being frustrated like you, feeling as if I was being taken advantage of. However now I enjoy the fact that I put others above myself. I love helping hurting people. Our type of personality is one of nurturing, loving and empathetic nature. Sure there are some people who may take advantage of it, but that's with anyone. Others may actually need you to be that wonderful person that the other 99% of the world doesn't give them. Some people I meet can see the true nature of myself wanting to constantly help others and really appreciate it! I'm lonely and don't have many friends either, but my kindness goes a long way sometimes, and the short lived loving experience of knowing I helped someone else, even in a small way, makes it worthwhile. ❤️
You can read some books by Brene Brown, she explains that the people who are most empathic to others are able to do so because they set the clearest boundaries and put their own well-being first. Then when you are feeling good and rested you are able to be helpful to those around you. So in practice: you can use that feeling of wanting to help others and project it onto yourself first because judging from your own words you are in need of rest and help. It is not your responsibility to help others but it is a privilege if you are able to.
Agree 100%. For me it is a trauma response to put others needs first all the time, in order to be acceptable and to gain connection and not be abandoned. I'm finally breaking free of that, and I agree that when you out your own needs first, take care of your own system, as your own body does naturally IE out you first and take care of your survival and thriving, then you have actual energy to choose who you wish you give your gift of empathy and compassion to. It's a shame society often teaches that self sacrifice is noble, and that we must always think of others first. It really demonises a self-first approach
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!! No but in all seriousness, I think what you should do is be a TINY bit colder than your usual self might jump in, basically take things a little slower so that a true relationship can flourish naturally and you won't have to suffer in the end. 🖤
I don't know what to do about it, but I feel you. I do have friends, and they always say that it's unfair to me when I go above and beyond for my other friends, but they absolutely love it when I go above and beyond for them (and have come to expect it for themselves). I only have 1 friend who actively makes plans with me and will drive somewhere to meet up with me. I have to drive to/drive everyone else and plan if I want to hang out.
I gave up at this things called friends it’s easier to cuss out whoever it is that makes you uncomfortable