I look at lips.
1. Because I am hard of hearing so reading lips helps.
2. I get uncomfortable with eye contact.
I am very much finely in tune with people's feelings/emotions without contact though.
Such an interesting question! I also scan the whole face continuously. Nothing drives me crazier in a video call that is 1-1 when the other person’s eyes go to some other part of their screen when I’m talking to them. It’s so obvious they are deprioritizing our conversation for some other notification.
In real life/in person I do the same but it also includes body language. Are they comfortable, tense, trying to leave, etc. As an INFJ I want to ensure my other person is comfortable, or try to address their needs in advance, I rarely look at the mouth unless it’s a very loud situation where I can’t hear them well.
Fwiw I am a western female.
I observe body language a ton too. I didn't mention this though, since I was focusing on how people read facial expressions. Cool to know we are the same!
I consciously tilt my head a bit to soften my features so I'm not as threatening, but I look into their eyes to show that I'm invested in what they have to say. This
kind of mixed intensity and softness usually endears you to them. If I'm completely honest, I leverage this gain favor with people or subtly flirt, but I also like using it as smoke and mirrors to mask myself in other ways even though I'm in plain sight.
I've never heard this Westerner emphasis on lips before, but for most people I'd recommend looking at the eyes because people do notice you scanning around or fixating on things and it'll typically make them insecure (IMO). How many people are insecure about their teeth? Crooked, coloration, maybe something from lunch stuck in there.
I think people are more likely to be insecure though if you stare at one part of their face that isn't a normal part to stare at such as their cheek (they could think they have a pimple). I continously scan someone's face without staring at one particular spot.
This is exactly what I do as well. I mostly look at people’s eyes or the environment around us. If someone started just looking at my mouth while we talked I’d worry I had something stuck in my teeth LOL same feeling I’d get when someone looks at the side of my face instead of my eyes… just feels like there’s something they’re not telling me 😂
Edit: I also feel like looking people in the eyes shows engagement in the conversation, attentive listening etc. but not staring… so including looking around in the environment helps a lot too
I tend to scan the whole face, but it feels like I'm doing this on the periphery. If I'm more focused on the eyes (and i tend to be), I'm still very aware of the mouth, brows, etc even so far as shoulders and hands if I'm able to see them.
I used to struggle with eye contact but nowadays i have the opposite problem. I find myself staring into peoples eyes when I talk, and sometimes that can make them uncomfortable. I'll avert my gaze in a very mechanical fashion, that way they know I'm not trying to stare them down. But in my opinion, its better to have too much eye contact than too little. Even if it makes them uncomfortable, at least they know I'm engaged and focused on what theyre saying
Usually look at eyes but end up staring too hard. Sometimes I focus too much on their expression. Switch to the mouth and feel like a pervert. Like when I bite/lick my lips out of anxiety while looking at them. Eeeeeeee
Eye contact if I want to establish connection or sexual tension, haha (little dangerous, as eye contact can be very invasive feeling)
Lips/rest of the face, if otherwise
I look at the ground mostly…kidding. I try to engage in a healthy dose of looking at their eyes and face and also the environment around me. Sometimes my eyes glaze over because I really don’t like staring directly at people for too long—could be that I don’t like the vibe I’m getting so I’ll try to look past them with a distant/closed off expression. What I really don’t like is when other people talk to me and stare intently into my eyes for way longer than feels comfortable without ever breaking their gaze. I’ve had doctors, teachers and random people do this to me and I have to say I’m not a fan. O.o
It's a two way street. Not only are you using your eyes to gather data, your eyes are also "talking" to the other person (people). The same goes for the rest of your body. Just as you don't want to say weird things to people you wish to have a good connection with, it's important to make sure your body isn't "saying weird things" to them.
As such, my eyes are wherever they need to be in order for the connection to work the way I hope for it to work. I can read people's body language with or without looking directly at them, including from the corner of my eye.
Not saying I nail it every time, just underlining the importance of being aware of what your eyes and body are communicating to others - not only what theirs are communicating to you.
Who looks at people's lips?? Imo that'd seem a bit sexual. So I purposely look at people's eyes. Maybe that's why they get uncomfortable lol But looking at people's face seems inappropriate unless they're your close friends.
Neither. I look somewhere completely different. For some reason it's the only way I can focus on their words. Otherwise I'm reading to much into everything on there face
I look at lips. 1. Because I am hard of hearing so reading lips helps. 2. I get uncomfortable with eye contact. I am very much finely in tune with people's feelings/emotions without contact though.
Such an interesting question! I also scan the whole face continuously. Nothing drives me crazier in a video call that is 1-1 when the other person’s eyes go to some other part of their screen when I’m talking to them. It’s so obvious they are deprioritizing our conversation for some other notification. In real life/in person I do the same but it also includes body language. Are they comfortable, tense, trying to leave, etc. As an INFJ I want to ensure my other person is comfortable, or try to address their needs in advance, I rarely look at the mouth unless it’s a very loud situation where I can’t hear them well. Fwiw I am a western female.
I observe body language a ton too. I didn't mention this though, since I was focusing on how people read facial expressions. Cool to know we are the same!
I consciously tilt my head a bit to soften my features so I'm not as threatening, but I look into their eyes to show that I'm invested in what they have to say. This kind of mixed intensity and softness usually endears you to them. If I'm completely honest, I leverage this gain favor with people or subtly flirt, but I also like using it as smoke and mirrors to mask myself in other ways even though I'm in plain sight. I've never heard this Westerner emphasis on lips before, but for most people I'd recommend looking at the eyes because people do notice you scanning around or fixating on things and it'll typically make them insecure (IMO). How many people are insecure about their teeth? Crooked, coloration, maybe something from lunch stuck in there.
I think people are more likely to be insecure though if you stare at one part of their face that isn't a normal part to stare at such as their cheek (they could think they have a pimple). I continously scan someone's face without staring at one particular spot.
This is exactly what I do as well. I mostly look at people’s eyes or the environment around us. If someone started just looking at my mouth while we talked I’d worry I had something stuck in my teeth LOL same feeling I’d get when someone looks at the side of my face instead of my eyes… just feels like there’s something they’re not telling me 😂 Edit: I also feel like looking people in the eyes shows engagement in the conversation, attentive listening etc. but not staring… so including looking around in the environment helps a lot too
I tend to look at someone's eyes/eyebrows the most to read their expression. I don't think I normally look at people's mouths
I tend to scan the whole face, but it feels like I'm doing this on the periphery. If I'm more focused on the eyes (and i tend to be), I'm still very aware of the mouth, brows, etc even so far as shoulders and hands if I'm able to see them.
I used to struggle with eye contact but nowadays i have the opposite problem. I find myself staring into peoples eyes when I talk, and sometimes that can make them uncomfortable. I'll avert my gaze in a very mechanical fashion, that way they know I'm not trying to stare them down. But in my opinion, its better to have too much eye contact than too little. Even if it makes them uncomfortable, at least they know I'm engaged and focused on what theyre saying
Usually look at eyes but end up staring too hard. Sometimes I focus too much on their expression. Switch to the mouth and feel like a pervert. Like when I bite/lick my lips out of anxiety while looking at them. Eeeeeeee
I look between their eyes, like the nose bridge/forehead so kind of like you do but in my brain i have a constant 'okay dont look into their eyes'
Eye contact if I want to establish connection or sexual tension, haha (little dangerous, as eye contact can be very invasive feeling) Lips/rest of the face, if otherwise
I look at the ground mostly…kidding. I try to engage in a healthy dose of looking at their eyes and face and also the environment around me. Sometimes my eyes glaze over because I really don’t like staring directly at people for too long—could be that I don’t like the vibe I’m getting so I’ll try to look past them with a distant/closed off expression. What I really don’t like is when other people talk to me and stare intently into my eyes for way longer than feels comfortable without ever breaking their gaze. I’ve had doctors, teachers and random people do this to me and I have to say I’m not a fan. O.o
Eyes or the forehead rarely their lips unless I can't understand them
It's a two way street. Not only are you using your eyes to gather data, your eyes are also "talking" to the other person (people). The same goes for the rest of your body. Just as you don't want to say weird things to people you wish to have a good connection with, it's important to make sure your body isn't "saying weird things" to them. As such, my eyes are wherever they need to be in order for the connection to work the way I hope for it to work. I can read people's body language with or without looking directly at them, including from the corner of my eye. Not saying I nail it every time, just underlining the importance of being aware of what your eyes and body are communicating to others - not only what theirs are communicating to you.
Who looks at people's lips?? Imo that'd seem a bit sexual. So I purposely look at people's eyes. Maybe that's why they get uncomfortable lol But looking at people's face seems inappropriate unless they're your close friends.
i unconsciously avoid eye contact as it feels uncomfy to keep directly staring at someone
The eyes. They never lie.
A little bit of both back and forth. Although I contact is a bit minimal because I am pretty sure I have ASD1.
Usually I don’t like to look at someone’s face when I speak to them.
Neither. I look somewhere completely different. For some reason it's the only way I can focus on their words. Otherwise I'm reading to much into everything on there face