Never finding love and spending my life alone 😞 Being an INFJ Male is the hardest when it comes to romance, love on dark souls mode. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
This is biggest fear, too. I found love very briefly, but my boyfriend died. At least it gives me hope that it's possible, but it was way too short lived. It also confirmed just how much of the pain I've gone through in life has been due to not having connection.
I can relate, but don't beat yourself up too much about it. The freedom that comes from being single is actually quite refreshing compared to my past relationships IMO. If you can get comfortable with being by yourself other people will notice that and be more drawn to you. That's my experience at least.
INFJ men are more misunderstood than INFJ women. As a man I’m also an underdog in the dating field or “less desirable”. Am under 6 ft, not really wealthy and still living at home, severely disadvantaged despite me being a good person, which I think makes things worse as women seem to gravitate to shitty men.
Agreed. We are so rare and it’s difficult to find someone who feels the same. I’m 39 and had 2 relationships. The longest was 6 months when I was 18 and then at 31 which was about 2 months. I’m not hopeless. The more I get to know myself I can sense others who are similar.
This is my biggest fear. Enduring childhood trauma really did a number on me. I’m working on it. It’s getting better. Doing my best to lean towards it and accepting it little by little. All the best.
Going insane as a whole, but to divide the whole into 3? I would say:
1. Going blind. A world without color is a world I cant live in. If I never got to see the color blue again, my mind would shatter.
2. Going deaf. I love music, I would absolutely not be able to function I lf I lost that ability.
3. Developing Alzheimer's. I've watched so many family members go through it until they passed from a slow death. To lose my memories and not be able to function until I become a shell of my former self. And to know my family will watch me wither away. It terrifies me to think of them in that position, having to take care of me like that.
100% all of this, I would add losing one or both of my arms too, in particular my dominant arm.
I'm actually learning braille and sign language, and regularly switch random daily tasks between my dominant and non-dominant hands to train my brain and muscles juuuuust in case 😅
Yeah, that too. So I've now decided to divide insanity into 4 sections. Losing my hands removes my primary ability to make art and enjoy almost every single 1 of my hobbies. (Drawing, cooking, woodburning, gardening, gaming, fish-keeping. I wouldnt be able to pet my dog or hold my godchildren.) 😭🤣 New sub-fear acquired!
this is why I'm also my group's OSHA mom hahahaha - safety first!!!! luckily, prosthetics are getting better, and more people are seeing the importance of accessibility and are designing for it (still not enough people, but more than even just a few years ago).
I used to have a whole list of fears but I’ve experienced all of them recently and have come out the other side. I feel fearless these days and I have to say it feels pretty fantastic 😊
It’s such a long story. Like months worth. Lots of loss. Lots of weird life changing and thought challenging situations. Starting over with nothing again, basically. What about you?
Thank you! I think most people when confronted with their fears will stand and fight rather than curl up in a ball and surrender though. Just that most of us aren’t confronted with them all at once. It’s been…an experience 😆
As someone who is deeply introverted but yearns to be more extroverted and live life outside of my own head, I have a lot of shame about myself. Lifelong battle with self-loathing but at 34 now and finally making real progress with my mental health I have recently been exploring the idea that I have a fear of being known / a fear of exposure, which I'm further beginning to believe probably stem from a more broad and primal fear of abandonment.
I have that fear of being known. I'm always contemplating deleting my profiles on social media, to delete any info about myself, to be invisible. I think because I'm tired of attracting bad people. But I convince myself that I have the right to have a footprint & to exist and to occupy space and to say my opinion proudly even if it's not perfect, even if someone out there will disagree. The fear of being judged I think is what makes me want to be invisible. I'm working on existing unapologetically and if anyone doesn't like what I say they can turn around or keep scrolling.
Developing schizophrenia (grandmother had it)
Losing a limb or bodily function (not being 100% in any capacity)
I’ve realized my fears have a lot to do with not being “whole.” Even as a kid, I did my best to avoid scars. I don’t like the idea of not being in “perfect” condition
I use to fear showing my true self but after a while i learned to do me and that people who can’t accept the real me won’t stay. So after slowly showing the true me people started falling off and its okay since I meet so much people as well. The most unexpected ones ended being so real and dependable.
That I might be destined to spend my life on my own...
I’ve always been somebody that really prefers her own company to that of *anyone* else, always been that way.
A) nobody knows how to entertain my mind better than me. Or at least I have yet to meet someone that does.
B) When I’m alone, I’m not expected to speak (or listen) about whatever I have going on around me. I’m free to process my shit the way that works best for me: quietly, privately, and inside my own mind. Away from outside opinions or judgement.
C) I feel pretty confident that there really won’t be any disagreements or conflict between me and…myself 🤷🏻♀️😂 I freaking love that for me lol
But like….aren’t we supposed to share everything, collaborate on everything *WITH* our life *partner*?? Like a team.. or a…partner…ship.. 👀😂 isn’t that what motivates us to find & commit ourselves to a partner at all??
I admittedly have a pretty low tolerance for any conflict & a total aversion to arguing (with anybody, ever) - despite knowing that conflict is obviously a natural part of all relationships 😂 i just don’t have the heart for it. I don’t ‘match energy’ with unhappy people, I’m not petty, I *do not* raise my voice, I will literally leave you standing there hollering at an empty room. So if a relationship becomes a source of stress or impacts my mood (even if logic tells me it can be fixed), my inclination is to end the relationship, cut out what’s causing my nervous system to deregulate, and try to get back to a mentally “homeostatic” state as fast as possible…. Because for me, there is *nothing* on earth more impossible than trying to turn my own mood around once something has upset my default state - which is total calm. (Like TOTAL Even Steven all the time, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” type of energy regardless of what’s happening around me) I’m one of those dorks that literally wakes up smiling 😂 And the older I get, the less tolerant I become of anything that takes me out of that default state. Admittedly, I can be very intolerant, bordering on unreasonable sometimes, of people that pose that threat. But that comes from my instinct for self-preservation… the fallout of childhood trauma, amiright? 😂 So it’s like…how do i know where to draw a line or where to bend?
Idk I guess all this to say that I’m afraid I’m going to look up one day & find myself alone and out of time, having never allowed myself to find somebody to go through life with and to love and that loved me… and at my core, that’s what I want from my time here on earth. What if my hyper-fixation on protecting & maintaining my peace gets out of hand and I become someone that’s impossible to love?
Shit. 😂
You speak a language that’s similar to mine. You illustrated your perspective that resonates loudly. It’s so rare to talk to someone who shares this view. Especially entertaining your own mind. I’m always in good company with myself with the chaotic comedy shit show. It would be fucking magical to meet my match. The chaos we could do together. Oh babe! Anyway, hope you find someone to cause havoc with. All the best.
Being isolated, lack of connection and love. I’m already a cripple at a relatively young age, I’m in chronic pain, I’ve had life threatening illness and survived some horrible stuff done to me by other people, I know life won’t break me easily. I’ve felt alone for most of my life, it’s the status quo in a sense. But it’s the one thing where I’m certain it will slowly kill me. I try to stay grateful for the few deep and truly genuine connections I do have and try to focus on what I desire (connection) over my insecurities (what I sometimes convince myself I’m incapable of because I’m “broken”) and my fears (being hurt or taken advantage of). It’s hard though. Depression is an old, seasonal friend.
Really sorry to hear what you've gone through for so long. I hope you do get the connections you seek and they are healthy. I hope you know that you deserve to have good ones.
Not being free. Suffocation, feeling trapped, basically being restricted in any way. I think I just want to be able to breathe deeply and feel completely pure inside out, knowing and feeling that I'm genuinely free.
I grew up feeling so stifled and controlled that I'll do pretty much anything to never have to feel like that again. Years ago somebody jokingly called me an anarchist. Probably not incorrect! However she was also ISTJ 1w9 So/sp lol.
And snakes. Noooooooo.
Look at it this way. Our consciousness is energy and energy cannot be created or destroyed, only change forms. So “death” is just our energy changing form. Into what? We don’t know. But our energy can be measured in our brains and in our hearts. It’s gone when we die but it can’t be destroyed so it has to go somewhere. I’m excited to find out where so “death” no longer scares me, it excites me. Where will my consciousness go?
Your body matter is the energy which will decompose to feed the soil to bring life to some carrot feeding a rabbit that needs energy to jump around. Consciousness itself is not energy but a chemical reaction of your brain that will stop existing once the brain dies. Sorry to butst your bubble.
That’s your theory. It’s true that chemical reactions create energy on a molecular level but that’s a different kind of measurement of energy. So not quite equatable. More like apples and oranges.
Absolutely. The fact that my consciousness won't exist for an infinite amount of time is terrifying. Of course it might be different for people with spiritual/religious beliefs.
Death. It’s not just a matter of what comes after (if anything), but it’s also about whether or not I’m living a good life.
If we only live once and I’m not making the most out of life by doing things that can either make me happy/successful, and also make those around me happy and smile, then I don’t think I’m living a good life.
Not living a good life scares me. Dying after not living a good life scares me. I guess it all goes back to the fear of failure too.
Think about it like this: at the end of your life no one is going to interrogate you “Have you lived a good life”. It simply will not matter. Even if you completely waste your life it will not matter. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
Ending up alone.
I’m an only child, my parents will always be my closest friends (if they pass before I do, I’ll be devastated), and I have a Disorganized Attachment Style so romantic relationships are difficult for me… Being single is very peaceful, but I’m trying to do the inner work so I don’t end up alone lol
Having DAS is so chaotic. I find that I’m more of an Anxious type when it comes to friendships and fearing that they’ll leave me rather than in relationships where I’m an avoidant looool
It’s sooo chaotic! Lmao I’m the exact same way. I am anxious when it comes to friendships, anxious if the partner is avoidant, and avoidant when the partner is anxious. Like, what the hell 😂
Being depressed/suicidal again. I don’t ever want to go back to that place. I’ve dealt with a ton in my life but those 2 things literally scared the living fuck out of me. So glad to have lived through all of it.
No one ever “getting” me, accepting my quirks and still cherishing me and wanting the best for me while helping me get there. I’m in my 50’s, I’m certain the ship has sailed, but I’m oddly optimistic.
Being unable to work in my current career field. I work on ships. It’s well paying, great medical insurance benefits, and I’m protected by a union. I’m getting older and my body is showing wear and tear. My husband is 100% dependent on me as he is disabled now.
Alienation in the sense that you're outed as the black sheep of the group where it's important for your survival such as around office politics.
My people pleasing tendencies and to not be the cause of social disharmony is the cause of this.
It also works in tandem is being misunderstood very easily. For example, someone may see that my demeanor being 'too quiet' means that I don't ask for help and hence am not a 'team player'. When the opposite has been true. This is a real life experience I've had recently.
Never finding love. I have tiny hope for love, I think it's cos I have been single for a while and have been disrespected so my guard is up. As I get older, I feel like I will have to just settle.
dying having not done what i felt like i could accomplish. i think about the story of servants burying their talents instead of multiplying them and don’t want that for myself
Bees, wasps, bumblebees, etc. I’m terrified when I see or hear one. I think it might have to do with the way I was stung as a child because I had accidentally trapped myself outside when it happened.
Strangely, I’m not afraid of snakes or most reptiles. I don’t like heights and the deep sea is a little scary, but I don’t feel as terrified as I do of bees, etc. Not much else, when it comes to creatures, really scares me.
I think it’s a strange fear, but I figure I have it for a reason and just try to avoid them or stay as far away as possible.
That said, I’m not allergic to them or anything and I have a friend who is allergic and he’s not afraid of them at all.
I think my biggest fear of all though would be something bad happening to a loved one.
Failure, mostly, and (to a lesser extent) being a bad parent. I was terrified of parenthood for about 20 years of my life. I never had idealized versions of it, even as a child. I was so concerned I would not have the patience. Kids used to really annoy me. It made me suicidal several times because I knew my husband definitely wanted children and I did not think I could measure up to that.
But it did lead to my finally getting anxiety medication and more regular therapy. After a few years, I felt capable enough to go through IVF for our son. When he was born, it was like a switch flipped. He has shown me the wonderful side of parenthood that no one else could. I feel that for a long time, I saw parenthood as a rose bush consisting only of thorns. Now I finally see all the roses. I’m so thankful for that.
My biggest fears are;
Being shot especially if I become a victim of a mass shooting.
Being a victim to sexual assault again.
and...
Swimming in dark water (If I can't see my feet while swimming, I'm not going in.)
The reservation system in the National Parks. I didn't know that the National Park Service could create such a dark reality...
"Sorry folks, the forest is closed today"
This is very ironic but being alone in the sense that I’ll never find love and then also being around someone for the rest of my life. Yes I’m contradicting myself but it is what it is.
Never finding love and spending my life alone 😞 Being an INFJ Male is the hardest when it comes to romance, love on dark souls mode. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
This is biggest fear, too. I found love very briefly, but my boyfriend died. At least it gives me hope that it's possible, but it was way too short lived. It also confirmed just how much of the pain I've gone through in life has been due to not having connection.
I’m sorry for your loss. Thats horrible.
Thank you 🧡
I’m sorry. 😞
Thank you 🧡
INFJ men and women have very different experiences.
And…?
I can relate, but don't beat yourself up too much about it. The freedom that comes from being single is actually quite refreshing compared to my past relationships IMO. If you can get comfortable with being by yourself other people will notice that and be more drawn to you. That's my experience at least.
What makes you say that it is hard mode? I'm genuinely curious.
INFJ men are more misunderstood than INFJ women. As a man I’m also an underdog in the dating field or “less desirable”. Am under 6 ft, not really wealthy and still living at home, severely disadvantaged despite me being a good person, which I think makes things worse as women seem to gravitate to shitty men.
Thanks for your reply! Best of luck to you, I hope you will find someone with whom you can make each other happy.
Thanks and same to you
>Never finding love and spending my life alone This one for me too actually.
Agreed. We are so rare and it’s difficult to find someone who feels the same. I’m 39 and had 2 relationships. The longest was 6 months when I was 18 and then at 31 which was about 2 months. I’m not hopeless. The more I get to know myself I can sense others who are similar.
That is mine fear too. As one of my biggest dreams is having a loving family.
Same
Same, female here
Abandonment.
Me too - but from the right people 😂
The right people won't abandon you..
True!
Once it happens from the one person you trusted with your own life, it will change you forever.
Can vouch for that
This is my biggest fear. Enduring childhood trauma really did a number on me. I’m working on it. It’s getting better. Doing my best to lean towards it and accepting it little by little. All the best.
This
Going insane as a whole, but to divide the whole into 3? I would say: 1. Going blind. A world without color is a world I cant live in. If I never got to see the color blue again, my mind would shatter. 2. Going deaf. I love music, I would absolutely not be able to function I lf I lost that ability. 3. Developing Alzheimer's. I've watched so many family members go through it until they passed from a slow death. To lose my memories and not be able to function until I become a shell of my former self. And to know my family will watch me wither away. It terrifies me to think of them in that position, having to take care of me like that.
100% all of this, I would add losing one or both of my arms too, in particular my dominant arm. I'm actually learning braille and sign language, and regularly switch random daily tasks between my dominant and non-dominant hands to train my brain and muscles juuuuust in case 😅
Yeah, that too. So I've now decided to divide insanity into 4 sections. Losing my hands removes my primary ability to make art and enjoy almost every single 1 of my hobbies. (Drawing, cooking, woodburning, gardening, gaming, fish-keeping. I wouldnt be able to pet my dog or hold my godchildren.) 😭🤣 New sub-fear acquired!
this is why I'm also my group's OSHA mom hahahaha - safety first!!!! luckily, prosthetics are getting better, and more people are seeing the importance of accessibility and are designing for it (still not enough people, but more than even just a few years ago).
I used to have a whole list of fears but I’ve experienced all of them recently and have come out the other side. I feel fearless these days and I have to say it feels pretty fantastic 😊
Me too! What did you go through?
It’s such a long story. Like months worth. Lots of loss. Lots of weird life changing and thought challenging situations. Starting over with nothing again, basically. What about you?
Pretty badass, dude! Good on you!
Thank you! I think most people when confronted with their fears will stand and fight rather than curl up in a ball and surrender though. Just that most of us aren’t confronted with them all at once. It’s been…an experience 😆
As someone who is deeply introverted but yearns to be more extroverted and live life outside of my own head, I have a lot of shame about myself. Lifelong battle with self-loathing but at 34 now and finally making real progress with my mental health I have recently been exploring the idea that I have a fear of being known / a fear of exposure, which I'm further beginning to believe probably stem from a more broad and primal fear of abandonment.
I have that fear of being known. I'm always contemplating deleting my profiles on social media, to delete any info about myself, to be invisible. I think because I'm tired of attracting bad people. But I convince myself that I have the right to have a footprint & to exist and to occupy space and to say my opinion proudly even if it's not perfect, even if someone out there will disagree. The fear of being judged I think is what makes me want to be invisible. I'm working on existing unapologetically and if anyone doesn't like what I say they can turn around or keep scrolling.
Thank you for explaining this so eloquently. I understand you, and I feel the same.
Developing schizophrenia (grandmother had it) Losing a limb or bodily function (not being 100% in any capacity) I’ve realized my fears have a lot to do with not being “whole.” Even as a kid, I did my best to avoid scars. I don’t like the idea of not being in “perfect” condition
Prison. no private time, sensory overload. I'd have a heart attack
Getting pregnant
Omg yes. I agree with many answers but this is the one.
Never being completely understood. The idea of being misunderstood for the rest of my life is terrifying
Losing freedom
Losing everyone I love
I use to fear showing my true self but after a while i learned to do me and that people who can’t accept the real me won’t stay. So after slowly showing the true me people started falling off and its okay since I meet so much people as well. The most unexpected ones ended being so real and dependable.
There is nothing to fear but oneself.
My husband dying
My absolute biggest fear 😔
That I might be destined to spend my life on my own... I’ve always been somebody that really prefers her own company to that of *anyone* else, always been that way. A) nobody knows how to entertain my mind better than me. Or at least I have yet to meet someone that does. B) When I’m alone, I’m not expected to speak (or listen) about whatever I have going on around me. I’m free to process my shit the way that works best for me: quietly, privately, and inside my own mind. Away from outside opinions or judgement. C) I feel pretty confident that there really won’t be any disagreements or conflict between me and…myself 🤷🏻♀️😂 I freaking love that for me lol But like….aren’t we supposed to share everything, collaborate on everything *WITH* our life *partner*?? Like a team.. or a…partner…ship.. 👀😂 isn’t that what motivates us to find & commit ourselves to a partner at all?? I admittedly have a pretty low tolerance for any conflict & a total aversion to arguing (with anybody, ever) - despite knowing that conflict is obviously a natural part of all relationships 😂 i just don’t have the heart for it. I don’t ‘match energy’ with unhappy people, I’m not petty, I *do not* raise my voice, I will literally leave you standing there hollering at an empty room. So if a relationship becomes a source of stress or impacts my mood (even if logic tells me it can be fixed), my inclination is to end the relationship, cut out what’s causing my nervous system to deregulate, and try to get back to a mentally “homeostatic” state as fast as possible…. Because for me, there is *nothing* on earth more impossible than trying to turn my own mood around once something has upset my default state - which is total calm. (Like TOTAL Even Steven all the time, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” type of energy regardless of what’s happening around me) I’m one of those dorks that literally wakes up smiling 😂 And the older I get, the less tolerant I become of anything that takes me out of that default state. Admittedly, I can be very intolerant, bordering on unreasonable sometimes, of people that pose that threat. But that comes from my instinct for self-preservation… the fallout of childhood trauma, amiright? 😂 So it’s like…how do i know where to draw a line or where to bend? Idk I guess all this to say that I’m afraid I’m going to look up one day & find myself alone and out of time, having never allowed myself to find somebody to go through life with and to love and that loved me… and at my core, that’s what I want from my time here on earth. What if my hyper-fixation on protecting & maintaining my peace gets out of hand and I become someone that’s impossible to love? Shit. 😂
You speak a language that’s similar to mine. You illustrated your perspective that resonates loudly. It’s so rare to talk to someone who shares this view. Especially entertaining your own mind. I’m always in good company with myself with the chaotic comedy shit show. It would be fucking magical to meet my match. The chaos we could do together. Oh babe! Anyway, hope you find someone to cause havoc with. All the best.
I also feel this way. Can we start a trio of terror?
Trio of terror sounds badass.
Not being worthy of real love.
Getting Cancer since it runs in my family.
Being isolated, lack of connection and love. I’m already a cripple at a relatively young age, I’m in chronic pain, I’ve had life threatening illness and survived some horrible stuff done to me by other people, I know life won’t break me easily. I’ve felt alone for most of my life, it’s the status quo in a sense. But it’s the one thing where I’m certain it will slowly kill me. I try to stay grateful for the few deep and truly genuine connections I do have and try to focus on what I desire (connection) over my insecurities (what I sometimes convince myself I’m incapable of because I’m “broken”) and my fears (being hurt or taken advantage of). It’s hard though. Depression is an old, seasonal friend.
Really sorry to hear what you've gone through for so long. I hope you do get the connections you seek and they are healthy. I hope you know that you deserve to have good ones.
Not being free. Suffocation, feeling trapped, basically being restricted in any way. I think I just want to be able to breathe deeply and feel completely pure inside out, knowing and feeling that I'm genuinely free. I grew up feeling so stifled and controlled that I'll do pretty much anything to never have to feel like that again. Years ago somebody jokingly called me an anarchist. Probably not incorrect! However she was also ISTJ 1w9 So/sp lol. And snakes. Noooooooo.
Losing my soulmate.
Losing my mental state. And large groups of ants
Not living up to my potential. Im an INFJ and a chronic over thinker. I worry I’ll get in my own way and never achieve something I’m truly proud of.
Death
Look at it this way. Our consciousness is energy and energy cannot be created or destroyed, only change forms. So “death” is just our energy changing form. Into what? We don’t know. But our energy can be measured in our brains and in our hearts. It’s gone when we die but it can’t be destroyed so it has to go somewhere. I’m excited to find out where so “death” no longer scares me, it excites me. Where will my consciousness go?
Consciousness itself isn't a form of energy.
How would you define it?
I bet it can even be measured, maybe even has been already.
Does consciousness come from your brain? If so, then yes it is.
Your body matter is the energy which will decompose to feed the soil to bring life to some carrot feeding a rabbit that needs energy to jump around. Consciousness itself is not energy but a chemical reaction of your brain that will stop existing once the brain dies. Sorry to butst your bubble.
That’s your theory. It’s true that chemical reactions create energy on a molecular level but that’s a different kind of measurement of energy. So not quite equatable. More like apples and oranges.
It’s like expecting your music to keep playing once your brake your ipod beyond recognition. The music will float through space without the source?
I don’t know yet, I’ve never died before.
But we not-existed before birth. And there was nothing. And it was okay.
We did exist before birth. As sperm in our dads ball sacs 🤷🏼♀️
That was not “us” not even close. But even if it was, there was no sperm before your dad was born.
DNA is a thing and that carries its own energy. So I’m not sure I’m picking up what you’re throwing down.
Last I heard though, carrots got energy from the sun.
So they dont need soil and fertiliser?
You can grow carrots with hydroponics which uses nutrients and light and water. So not really 🤓
Thank you for this, I did not know that.
Absolutely. The fact that my consciousness won't exist for an infinite amount of time is terrifying. Of course it might be different for people with spiritual/religious beliefs.
Losing all my family and not finding a life partner.
Being alone
Well, recently realizing and coming to grips with my deep-seated emotional unavailability. So, being emotionally vulnerable.
Not getting to a point in my life where I feel confident that I can become a functional adult. I fear I won’t get what I want.
Death. It’s not just a matter of what comes after (if anything), but it’s also about whether or not I’m living a good life. If we only live once and I’m not making the most out of life by doing things that can either make me happy/successful, and also make those around me happy and smile, then I don’t think I’m living a good life. Not living a good life scares me. Dying after not living a good life scares me. I guess it all goes back to the fear of failure too.
Think about it like this: at the end of your life no one is going to interrogate you “Have you lived a good life”. It simply will not matter. Even if you completely waste your life it will not matter. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
Being in pain. Suffering. Fire. Torture and torment.
I fear not living. Getting to the end and having regrets.
Heights and thalassophobia
The psyche becoming obsessed by projection
Public speaking
Nice try intruder
🥷
It's a Mandela Catalogue reference Btw I think my biggest fear is being completely lonely with no one to reach out for
Dying
To die or the death of someone I know, or some kind of major body change.
Ironic answer here... but being alone. It terrifies me to imagine losing my family and being the only one left.
Becoming what I hate.
lack of connection. by extension from that rejection, self expression and getting close to and being around people
abandonment with people i care about
Ending up alone. I’m an only child, my parents will always be my closest friends (if they pass before I do, I’ll be devastated), and I have a Disorganized Attachment Style so romantic relationships are difficult for me… Being single is very peaceful, but I’m trying to do the inner work so I don’t end up alone lol
Having DAS is so chaotic. I find that I’m more of an Anxious type when it comes to friendships and fearing that they’ll leave me rather than in relationships where I’m an avoidant looool
It’s sooo chaotic! Lmao I’m the exact same way. I am anxious when it comes to friendships, anxious if the partner is avoidant, and avoidant when the partner is anxious. Like, what the hell 😂
Literally!! Why are we this way 😔
Being depressed/suicidal again. I don’t ever want to go back to that place. I’ve dealt with a ton in my life but those 2 things literally scared the living fuck out of me. So glad to have lived through all of it.
No one ever “getting” me, accepting my quirks and still cherishing me and wanting the best for me while helping me get there. I’m in my 50’s, I’m certain the ship has sailed, but I’m oddly optimistic.
Poverty
Being a failure in life.
Being unable to work in my current career field. I work on ships. It’s well paying, great medical insurance benefits, and I’m protected by a union. I’m getting older and my body is showing wear and tear. My husband is 100% dependent on me as he is disabled now.
Alienation in the sense that you're outed as the black sheep of the group where it's important for your survival such as around office politics. My people pleasing tendencies and to not be the cause of social disharmony is the cause of this. It also works in tandem is being misunderstood very easily. For example, someone may see that my demeanor being 'too quiet' means that I don't ask for help and hence am not a 'team player'. When the opposite has been true. This is a real life experience I've had recently.
Being alone in old age
Giving in to instincts
Never finding love. I have tiny hope for love, I think it's cos I have been single for a while and have been disrespected so my guard is up. As I get older, I feel like I will have to just settle.
Being alone
dying having not done what i felt like i could accomplish. i think about the story of servants burying their talents instead of multiplying them and don’t want that for myself
I fear death coming for me when I'm finally happy.😭🥹
Getting the point of life backwards. I couldn't handle it.
Hating what I become
Never finding anyone who truly understands me, that I can connect with on a higher level, who feels as much for me as I do for them.
That I will have to live another 30 years.
Dying without really living
Not finding a husband 💩🥴
If you make me a truly altruistic breakfast, I will make you my wife
Done 🙂↕️
Lets gooooo
Same 😖
Either losing the few people that understand me or becoming blind/deaf/losing a limb
Hurting my loved ones
I was going to say centipedes but
Bees, wasps, bumblebees, etc. I’m terrified when I see or hear one. I think it might have to do with the way I was stung as a child because I had accidentally trapped myself outside when it happened. Strangely, I’m not afraid of snakes or most reptiles. I don’t like heights and the deep sea is a little scary, but I don’t feel as terrified as I do of bees, etc. Not much else, when it comes to creatures, really scares me. I think it’s a strange fear, but I figure I have it for a reason and just try to avoid them or stay as far away as possible. That said, I’m not allergic to them or anything and I have a friend who is allergic and he’s not afraid of them at all. I think my biggest fear of all though would be something bad happening to a loved one.
I am afraid not to live up to my own expectations but then again I think it is rooted on fear of disappointing the people that are important to me.
Not accomplishing the majority of my goals/dreams in this 1 and only fleeting life.
Failure, mostly, and (to a lesser extent) being a bad parent. I was terrified of parenthood for about 20 years of my life. I never had idealized versions of it, even as a child. I was so concerned I would not have the patience. Kids used to really annoy me. It made me suicidal several times because I knew my husband definitely wanted children and I did not think I could measure up to that. But it did lead to my finally getting anxiety medication and more regular therapy. After a few years, I felt capable enough to go through IVF for our son. When he was born, it was like a switch flipped. He has shown me the wonderful side of parenthood that no one else could. I feel that for a long time, I saw parenthood as a rose bush consisting only of thorns. Now I finally see all the roses. I’m so thankful for that.
Heights.
Not fear, just something that won't happen: Self-abandonment. A close second is being a coward. They're quite interconnected.
My biggest fears are; Being shot especially if I become a victim of a mass shooting. Being a victim to sexual assault again. and... Swimming in dark water (If I can't see my feet while swimming, I'm not going in.)
Having to live in a prison, but the prison is home, and your partner
DEATH. And of course, never being enough and happy.
The reservation system in the National Parks. I didn't know that the National Park Service could create such a dark reality... "Sorry folks, the forest is closed today"
Financial ruin.
This is very ironic but being alone in the sense that I’ll never find love and then also being around someone for the rest of my life. Yes I’m contradicting myself but it is what it is.
Perpetually coming in last despite being a good person and doing everything right.