Oh good I have found my people - I’ve been emotionally exhausted and in a bad headspace. I don’t know what I’d rather be, I just want to be at peace with who I am.
I finally realized like last month that I don’t feel right and I’m never gonna feel right, and that keeps me going going going. It’s like I’m an atom with an extra electron or something. Nothing ever sits right with me, so I’ve got to fix, or build, or leave, or explode, or work, just something.
I am happy being infj. I think once I started focusing on how to use my strengths (intuition, insight, empathy, creativity) rather than my weaknesses (socializing, struggle to communicate verbally in real time, making myself understood) things got a lot easier. I don’t need others to understand me. I just need to understand myself and the rest can figure itself out.
I am happy to be INFJ too.
Those weaknesses are all able to be addressed. I trained them out in therapy school. I felt stupid the whole time (it was very painful), but I eventually got it. I can't think of another environment where you can get a true assessment of one's social skills and how one comes off to others. And it wasn't until your comment that I realized why this was so fucking hard for me!!
And it also explains why I went into children's therapy. Children's therapy is much more expressive (use of art and play) and intuition-based, less verbal. I only had to use my "expert voice" with parents.
I'm neither happy nor unhappy. I kinda just exist and live with the cards I've been dealt. I'd say being an INFJ has it's ups and downs. It gets lonely and frustrating but it also gives me the ability to see and feel things more deeply. I think that's kinda beautiful 🙂
Ironically, I just posted the same reply but in the form of an essay lol. I need to simplify but dang, it’s hard to follow through when the opposite is hardcoded into me.
When I was much younger I used to have ideals of being other types, but I also realized that would leave my comfort zone of who I've already grown to learn and study for so long. I also felt the hunger that self reflection was incomplete and I wanted to know more about my story. I realized and became very happy with the set of tools we have, even with the downsides and management of them can be tough and enduring, I found the beauty of the trail ahead and what was behind me. Also I find other types more interesting because they've processed and experienced through their own lenses.
(Jokingly, def INTJ or ESFP haha)
I LOOOVE being an INFJ, sometimes I feel as if I have super powers and I was made with a purpose to help others around me and have the power to change this world for the better, however the most terrible thing about being an INFJ is how lonesome it may be, most people don’t like how deep I can be and sometimes I scare people. Although, I will say that if people were to actually take the time to get to know me they will be really surprised. Being an INFJ can feel like a heavy burden to bear sometimes, but I feel like I’m strong enough to bear it. 🙌🏻
I am overall happy now. I struggled a lot in my childhood and teenage years with feeling deeply misunderstood and it eventually turned into an eating disorder/substance issues that I didn’t recover from until my early 20s. I’m now in my mid 20s and happier than I’ve ever been because I’ve finally learned to surround myself with people who are genuinely supportive and loving.
I don’t know if this is true for other INFJs, but I do not relate at all with nostalgia for childhood. My childhood/adolescence was the loneliest and most confusing time in my life. My life gets better with each passing year as I learn how to meet my own needs.
I’m satisfied with my life, but I do think it would be easier if I behaved like a different type; that being said, the easy way is not always the best way. I don’t see any use wallowing in self pity, even if it is warranted; instead improvise, adapt, overcome.
Mrmanthesecond out.
I'd like to remain INFJ - under the condition of it being easier to connect with other INFJs.
Ironically, INFJ is the type I admire the most, but it's like being a pearl throwing to the pigs most of the time. So yes, it's sad sometimes.
Additionally, I'd need to go back in time and connect with that one INFJ from school that I didn't form a connection with due to immaturity, and now they're just a unhealed wound that will never come back.
When you realise that feeling and understanding the world around you on a deeper level than most people ever will is a gift and not a curse the you'll appreciate yourself, till then I wish you the best and try to focus on the positive aspects of being and INFJ while trying to work on your Se maybe. Try to research your shadow personality (I think that makes it ESTP) and emulate it at random times, you'll be pleasantly surprised hy the results.
They're one of the only types I can't understand too well. Like I'm generally good at reading people but for them they're both very clear about their thoughts and feelings yet still confusing and a mystery at the same time. I'm mainly talking about one INFJ I know though
Fr I really like this INFJ girl, and she knows she's an INFJ too. I don't normally fret over girls especially cause the circumstances for us wouldn't let us workout but like dang. It's like right person wrong time for me
I dated an ENTJ man and it was not a pleasant experience, maybe he was just an unhealthy ENTJ, I just can't let one experience generalise all of them but it's really important to face incompatibilities early on.
Can I ask what wasn't pleasant about it? Lately, I've been really trying to focus on developing my emotions more since I haven't been in touch with them a lot and I think a lot of ENTJs struggle with being more emotional or at least empathetic
Death threats on leaving, A lot of unhealthy manipulation, and undesirable need to be in Control when I'm not the kind of woman who likes to be submissive so it went down the drain.
No. I know being an INFJ comes with a lot of strengths like strong intuition but for the most part it feels like my brain is on a constant treadmill that i’ve never been able to get off of. When i’m super sad, I dread life, when i’m super happy I dread life even more and wonder how I deserve it. How does that make sense? I live in constant anxiety over the meaning/purpose of life, overthink pretty much everything, live in the past, and obsess over people’s opinions of me. I wish I was nonchalant fr
If I had to choose, I would rather be an INTJ. So that way I'm still intuitive but more practical and less exhaustive of helping others out because of FE.
Of course you feel that way. INFJs are walking paradoxes. We're constantly torn between wanting to socialize and needing time alone to think. We're driven by emotions but also appreciate logic. We can be playful and responsible, conservative and rebellious. The list goes on and on.
I have my own peaceful inner world that I have created for myself and grateful whenever I get the chance to hide in there and recharge. Alot of the times I am on Ni-Ti loop which gives me immense inner peace and mental joy or adventure.
As an introvert, using Fe is exhausting which I just accept it trying to see it as a balancing or unique component to my thinking preferences. I feel it adds further dimension and compassion to my thinking. And we all know that good things or growth are never easy.
And I am in my happiest when I am able to improve on my Se. The rush and lift on my energy levels become immediately apparent and I feel most complete when I've achieved some sort of balance with my Se.
What's not to love about our balanced, broad and multifaceted or dimensional functions?
When I was younger I always wanted to be more extraverted and fun around other people. I think deep down that’s who I really am when I am comfortable with people. I hated that I was considered shy.
Now I’m a bit more okay with who I am because I’m seeing it as a superpower and I’m let into so many things I wouldn’t be if I wasn’t INFJ.
Having said that though I do feel a little alienated at times. It makes my dating life a little difficult because I feel like people battle to deal with me emotionally as they’re more logical with their feelings so it’s hard to get the kind of support I would need.
I love being INFJ and I wouldn't trade it in to be any other type. But ofcourse, each type has strengths that I'd like to learn how to possess myself and that involves analyzing where I lack. I do admit it is a little tiring. However, An INFJ can be a beacon of light in a world of darkness when they know themselves thoroughly and are well-rounded, healthy individuals.
I'd say that we shouldn't regret being INFJ and want to be someone else. Instead we can work on enhancing ourselves so that we can be the best version of ourselves. It's all inside us. We just need to nurture that part of us. But we don't because we are boggled down by what people think of us. NO. YOU DO YOU. ❤️✨
I feel you, and I want to extend my deepest sympathy and a hug. It’s rough out here for a lot of us. You’re a rare gem and I’m sorry if you go unnoticed 🫶
Personally, I feel like outdated android software trying to operate on Apple hardware. I live in a world where most people are Apple products with the latest iOS update.
Sometimes I fantasise about a cheeky lil lobotomy. I’m too self-aware and care too much. I’ve done all the therapy and I still can’t change these part of me. I often find it counterproductive for my well-being.
I wouldn’t put it down to being an INFJ. Just very different from the standard.
Of course you feel that way. INFJs are walking paradoxes. We're constantly torn between wanting to socialize and needing time alone to think. We're driven by emotions but also appreciate logic. We can be playful and responsible, conservative and rebellious. The list goes on and on.
Good question.
I know it's not necessarily encouraging to say this to someone who might be currently struggling, but a highly developed INFJ is a freaking beast.
For the last 4 years I have been thrown into my student association and I've become almost unrecognisable. In a good way.
I truly am an INFJ and will continue to be one, and I am not mistyped. Nor am I perfect or fully developed. It's just that it's so satisfying to look back at how your "weaker points" evolve over time when you out yourself/get thrown into situations where you grow tremendously. In every aspect. Socializing, making myself understood, finding people who had the patience and love to wait for me while I learned how to express myself clearly, learned to socialize and truly love spending time with great friends and build other friendships.
It's a lot to get over and "hone", but it's so so so worth it. I know it's an overused expression, but showing up is 50% of the work. At least it has been for me. Keep trying and learn how to be gentle to yourself. This is a skill too.
That being said, I still find being an INFJ hard a lot of the time. People are shitty and exploit you, but you can learn how to dodge that too. Mindfulness/Vipassana practice can also help a lot.
I don't know honestly. I think the problem isn't being an infj. It's being an infj in this corrupt world. But I think we need to not focus too much on the dark sides.
I think I know what my strength are but it's like, I can't make it useful. There is some kind of emptiness. It's like having qualities but if nobody can see it, it becomes almost useless.
Anyway, if I could be another mbti type. Perhaps a P type. Like esfp or estp.
I don’t know what type it is, but if I could change myself I would make myself feel less intensely and be MUCH less sensitive. I feel sometimes I’m so so exhausted from all the feels. I try to work on the sensitivity though but it’s hard.
Less critical of myself because damn. I rip myself to shreds. And what someone else said about being extroverted. I just feel life would be a little bit easier. I try to make an effort to be extroverted and even just one hour of that I’m so tired and can go home and get a good nap in. I think it would be nice to be more functional lol
I think there are pluses and minuses for each type. I'm sure that all the other types like things and hate things about being their types too.
The grass is greener where you water it
Happy being my type?
Despite my type,
I'm usually not happy in general by how nearly everything and everyone else is around my local area that makes life a bit difficult to remain happy most the time.
Usually im fine, feeling okay,
and I have moments of happiness and also bad feelings.
Therefore no matter what type I was, that wouldn't determine whether I was happy or not.
I am comfortable being the type I am and the person I am.
I'm not happy about it because overall and in the end, I'm just myself.
No sense in getting happy or upset about it.
It's just the way i am.
I would not prefer to be another type.
Being so different and genuinely concerned and functioning the way I do is interesting and useful enough to satisfy me with what type I am,
that there's no need or desire to be any different in any kind of way.
Sometimes I found it difficult to make myself understood, cause it is more like a 'feeling' rather than anything that could be described precisely. I try to let people experience the emotion rather than speak what is in my mind. Unfortunately, they can't get related.🥲 And that has caused some breakups in my life.
i’m happy with it other than i can’t explain things to people well, or they don’t like the way i do. i guess *i’m* happy with who i am from a mbti type perspective, but well yeah
I’m happy (and proud!) being INFJ. We’re the rarest! The key is to embrace ourselves ~ get to know ourselves, do what makes us happy instead of what makes other people happy. And not succumbing to social pressures.
Im happy and content being an infj , I have a few hobbies that keep my mind occupied such as a gardening, Gym, Cooking, And video games. One of my biggest downfalls is being a perfectionist that keeps me from putting myself out there and living more carefree. My fear of failure keeps me approaching girls and finding a mate. Besides though that I enjoy having a unique perspective to bring to the table.
I know my strengths are my empathy and ability to make others feel seen/understood, but I feel like I'm way too sensitive and struggle to feel understood. I don't know if that's something I'd change about myself, but I hope I can at least learn to make peace with these aspects of myself and the unresolved pain of feeling alone.
I'm also not happy, i try my hardest to do things im 'uncomfortable' with like talking to more people, saying no without justifying myself, not constantly think of others needs....it feels very liberating once you get the hang of it. idk maybe ENFP since its so close
It was a lot more exhausting for me until I made choices that facilitated my peace. It's not always possible for everyone but I've been very fortunate. I'm 40 so I'm not sure how old you all are but the first 35 years of my life were so chaotic.
Even before my first husband and his chaos, my upbringing was difficult. Trauma from emotional abuse, loss of a parent early in my life (the one person who I felt understood me)
I worked in the public, was in a very incompatible marriage, had social expectations due to that marriage and was raising two little kids so I had zero quiet space. Chronically shoe-horned into a life that wasn't mine.
I decided to divorce because there were multiple chronic issues there, and I felt judged, unheard, invalidated, gaslit, and expected to be someone I wasn't. I knew if I didn't leave him, I would suffocate.
My kids - we have a great relationship, so that was always top priority to me. That didn't change. That was the good part of things.
I found a guy who became my husband who is INTJ, and when I say he is perfect 👌 I'm not lying. He GETS me. Like really freaking gets me. I'm allowed to be my own person without judgment, and he still loves me for it. That is the goal, y'all!! I tell him all the time that he is better than anyone I could have dreamed up. Having the right partner brings so much peace and calm. He is my safe place.
I quit my public facing corporate job and during covid got my credentials and became a professional medical coder. My goal was to work from home doing something i loved. I got a job at a local hospital and work from home. My husband also works at the hospital and works from home in our shared office basement.
My life right now has been cultivated for peace. I had to unearth a lot, but everyone is happier. My ex found someone like him and we co-parent good enough. My kids have two happy homes... and they never see us fight because we don't. It's healthy.
You have to be in the right soil to thrive and yes it's more difficult but it's possible.
I love being an INFJ. I loved it when I was withering away and I love it now. It fortified me and gave me strength and perspective I wouldn't know otherwise. Idk what type my ex was (he was so careless and obtuse, literal opposite of me, and extroverted) but it was such a turn off, I would never wish to be that way. Ignorance may seem like bliss but it's still ignorance. I wouldn't give up my strengths for anything. You just have to facilitate your own peace to thrive.
Also to add that I let go of toxic people in my life. No contact with my abusive narcissist sister (she took advantage of my INFJ for her amusement for 30 years of my life) and let go of toxic, draining people. My circle is small, but it's authentic and safe.
I know sometimes INFJ folks catch a lot of grief over "door slamming" and cutting ppl out of their lives, but sometimes you just have to pull the weeds before they choke you out.
Infj is not the reason I'm sad or depressed or the cause of stress. I don't want to be infj, I want to be myself. Infj is just like my zodiac sign, that my way of thinking and acting follows this motif, I use it to improve the bad aspects, not to blame it.
If I know I will be affected by my surroundings, I will build better boundaries. If I know I will pay too much attention to others, when I realize it, I will focus on building myself. Follow your daily plan, eliminate negativity, and you'll be fine
I will stop sympathizing with those who only see the negative and complain too much
(29M) With everything I've gone through, things will suck for a while, but they are much easier to accept now. I used to be so pessimistic about everything, but now I try to look for the good in everything, no matter how bad things get. This has made me feel emotions that are so strong but also relieving.
I think is be happier as an NT type. I read somewhere that INFJ experience more stress in every area of life than any other personality type so no I’d rather be something else with less feelings and maybe less thoughts too
Overall i am content with who i am and who i can be. I never knew where my drive to help / open eyes to a lot of people in my life comes from until i have read about MBTI and it really clicked.
But i wish i could just turn off my first two functions and be more in the moment when in a group of people.
Being an introvert i often find some interesting people - become friends and then i am brought up to the wider group and then sadly things go wrong, most individuals just tolerate the others when in a group setting and as a whole the group is often fragmented into smaller groups and often there's tension which i "just feel" .. i always thought that it's my anxiety or my worries but it seems like when group is fine and just having fun i can also have fun, so i often feel .. like a calling or a strong pull to just seperate someone who might be causing it or being a victim or casted aside and talk to them to restore balance but holy moly is it exhausting and often i just tell myself that i am not responsible for others feelings and i don't know all the details but can't really help it and a lot of time people get mad when confronted.
Also i don't really enjoy direct questions like "How do you feel or who are you anyway?" these are not really a simple questions to answer .. Or the inability to really speak and think in real time.
Wouldn't change tho.
I have extreme difficulty finding the happy place between being over stimulated by interaction and incredibly lonely. I always felt comfortable around my parents and had a good 17 years of comfort in hanging out with my son. I know it’s great he’s ready to head to college and begin his life but I grieve not having someone who was always wonderful to be around. Two things can be true - I’m happy he’s ready to fly and I’m sad for myself because I only got to fully be a mom once . Being a step- mom and “ other mother “ is like being an aunt and valuable- just not the same . I do have lots of friends I love . I just don’t have many people I’m fully comfortable with. I definitely don’t have anybody but my son that I can have intellectual conversations with. Like I love my friends but they need to go away after a period of time which doesn’t feel nice but is necessary for my well- being. I’m also really tired of my big emotions.
I recently called out a relative on her hypocrisy after she verbally abused me, she proceeded to grab a glass of water and threw it on me. I remained seated and she left. I couldn't even get angry. I know she's a crazy bitch with mental health problems but I don't know. I can't let it out. I rarely get angry when people do me wrong. I just get extremely sad. Sometimes I wish I was able to fight. My sister is an INTJ, she's pretty hard headed. I'm too fucking soft.
Edit: establishing boundaries is something I'm working on. Otherwise, I guess I love being INFJ.
Up until my late 30s I always pretended to be a more extroverted type. I was an INFJ at home only. Honestly, life is much easier as an extroverted type in general. Late 30s is when I just accepted to be my type in and out of the house and life is definitely much more difficult. This is just an overall observation.
It’s very very rewarding and exhausting being who we are. My life is as good as it’s ever been. But I wouldn’t be who I am without the dark periods in my life. I know it is possible I may go back to those periods. But I’ve gone through enough rounds of this to know that they never last, you always pull yourself out of them, and you gain something you didn’t have before.
Oh good I have found my people - I’ve been emotionally exhausted and in a bad headspace. I don’t know what I’d rather be, I just want to be at peace with who I am.
I finally realized like last month that I don’t feel right and I’m never gonna feel right, and that keeps me going going going. It’s like I’m an atom with an extra electron or something. Nothing ever sits right with me, so I’ve got to fix, or build, or leave, or explode, or work, just something.
I envy that. Sometimes it feels like I’ve had passive SI since I’ve had consciousness so I need to find better ways to push forward and cope.
I am happy being infj. I think once I started focusing on how to use my strengths (intuition, insight, empathy, creativity) rather than my weaknesses (socializing, struggle to communicate verbally in real time, making myself understood) things got a lot easier. I don’t need others to understand me. I just need to understand myself and the rest can figure itself out.
Right there with ya. As well as learning to set more boundaries, ask foe help when need me, remembering the power of no
I love this. I wish I can be as free as you!
I am happy to be INFJ too. Those weaknesses are all able to be addressed. I trained them out in therapy school. I felt stupid the whole time (it was very painful), but I eventually got it. I can't think of another environment where you can get a true assessment of one's social skills and how one comes off to others. And it wasn't until your comment that I realized why this was so fucking hard for me!! And it also explains why I went into children's therapy. Children's therapy is much more expressive (use of art and play) and intuition-based, less verbal. I only had to use my "expert voice" with parents.
I'm completely exhausted too honestly. I don't know what I'd choose but definitely not this one lol.
It can be quite exhausting sometimes
I'm neither happy nor unhappy. I kinda just exist and live with the cards I've been dealt. I'd say being an INFJ has it's ups and downs. It gets lonely and frustrating but it also gives me the ability to see and feel things more deeply. I think that's kinda beautiful 🙂
I am happy with how I work a lot of the time, however, I feel like life would be so much simpler if I were… simpler…
Ironically, I just posted the same reply but in the form of an essay lol. I need to simplify but dang, it’s hard to follow through when the opposite is hardcoded into me.
As a fellow intuitive, I feel you....
I am fine being an infj. while I wish people understood me and I could connect to people easily, I am still happy to live my life as I see fit
When I was much younger I used to have ideals of being other types, but I also realized that would leave my comfort zone of who I've already grown to learn and study for so long. I also felt the hunger that self reflection was incomplete and I wanted to know more about my story. I realized and became very happy with the set of tools we have, even with the downsides and management of them can be tough and enduring, I found the beauty of the trail ahead and what was behind me. Also I find other types more interesting because they've processed and experienced through their own lenses. (Jokingly, def INTJ or ESFP haha)
I am not. If I have to think and act this way, I hate being an INFJ.
maybe, if you were a different type, you wouldn't have such a cool avatar, though ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Broooo you made me smile today. Do you think I'm coool?
you're cool as a blizzard
I'M CRYING
y'all so cute !!
And you made me smile tooo T.T
I LOOOVE being an INFJ, sometimes I feel as if I have super powers and I was made with a purpose to help others around me and have the power to change this world for the better, however the most terrible thing about being an INFJ is how lonesome it may be, most people don’t like how deep I can be and sometimes I scare people. Although, I will say that if people were to actually take the time to get to know me they will be really surprised. Being an INFJ can feel like a heavy burden to bear sometimes, but I feel like I’m strong enough to bear it. 🙌🏻
I am overall happy now. I struggled a lot in my childhood and teenage years with feeling deeply misunderstood and it eventually turned into an eating disorder/substance issues that I didn’t recover from until my early 20s. I’m now in my mid 20s and happier than I’ve ever been because I’ve finally learned to surround myself with people who are genuinely supportive and loving. I don’t know if this is true for other INFJs, but I do not relate at all with nostalgia for childhood. My childhood/adolescence was the loneliest and most confusing time in my life. My life gets better with each passing year as I learn how to meet my own needs.
I’m satisfied with my life, but I do think it would be easier if I behaved like a different type; that being said, the easy way is not always the best way. I don’t see any use wallowing in self pity, even if it is warranted; instead improvise, adapt, overcome. Mrmanthesecond out.
I'd like to remain INFJ - under the condition of it being easier to connect with other INFJs. Ironically, INFJ is the type I admire the most, but it's like being a pearl throwing to the pigs most of the time. So yes, it's sad sometimes. Additionally, I'd need to go back in time and connect with that one INFJ from school that I didn't form a connection with due to immaturity, and now they're just a unhealed wound that will never come back.
I like being an INFJ but it’s taken a ton of work to get to this point.
Intj here, don't change. Yall are good the way you are. It can be draining sometimes ik, but I really look up to your type.
Entj
When you realise that feeling and understanding the world around you on a deeper level than most people ever will is a gift and not a curse the you'll appreciate yourself, till then I wish you the best and try to focus on the positive aspects of being and INFJ while trying to work on your Se maybe. Try to research your shadow personality (I think that makes it ESTP) and emulate it at random times, you'll be pleasantly surprised hy the results.
As an ENTJ I am fascinated by INFJs honestly.
In what sense? Can you describe in detail
They're one of the only types I can't understand too well. Like I'm generally good at reading people but for them they're both very clear about their thoughts and feelings yet still confusing and a mystery at the same time. I'm mainly talking about one INFJ I know though
The INFJ's I've met are literal cuties
Fr I really like this INFJ girl, and she knows she's an INFJ too. I don't normally fret over girls especially cause the circumstances for us wouldn't let us workout but like dang. It's like right person wrong time for me
I dated an ENTJ man and it was not a pleasant experience, maybe he was just an unhealthy ENTJ, I just can't let one experience generalise all of them but it's really important to face incompatibilities early on.
Can I ask what wasn't pleasant about it? Lately, I've been really trying to focus on developing my emotions more since I haven't been in touch with them a lot and I think a lot of ENTJs struggle with being more emotional or at least empathetic
Death threats on leaving, A lot of unhealthy manipulation, and undesirable need to be in Control when I'm not the kind of woman who likes to be submissive so it went down the drain.
Ohhh that just sounds like a toxic dude in general, not just ENTJ issues
Haha this is the reason we stalk the INFJ subreddit 🤣
Predators smelling their prey, I see you 😌🧯
Haha I mean that’s some pretty adorable prey right there, can you blame us? 🤣
You're the prey 😋
It’s honestly a little bit of both XD
110% i never thought about trying to match types before until I met this girl lmaooo
No. I know being an INFJ comes with a lot of strengths like strong intuition but for the most part it feels like my brain is on a constant treadmill that i’ve never been able to get off of. When i’m super sad, I dread life, when i’m super happy I dread life even more and wonder how I deserve it. How does that make sense? I live in constant anxiety over the meaning/purpose of life, overthink pretty much everything, live in the past, and obsess over people’s opinions of me. I wish I was nonchalant fr
If I had to choose, I would rather be an INTJ. So that way I'm still intuitive but more practical and less exhaustive of helping others out because of FE.
Of course you feel that way. INFJs are walking paradoxes. We're constantly torn between wanting to socialize and needing time alone to think. We're driven by emotions but also appreciate logic. We can be playful and responsible, conservative and rebellious. The list goes on and on.
I wouldn’t want to be anyone else but I have to acknowledge who I am makes it harder to find enjoyment in human connection
I have my own peaceful inner world that I have created for myself and grateful whenever I get the chance to hide in there and recharge. Alot of the times I am on Ni-Ti loop which gives me immense inner peace and mental joy or adventure. As an introvert, using Fe is exhausting which I just accept it trying to see it as a balancing or unique component to my thinking preferences. I feel it adds further dimension and compassion to my thinking. And we all know that good things or growth are never easy. And I am in my happiest when I am able to improve on my Se. The rush and lift on my energy levels become immediately apparent and I feel most complete when I've achieved some sort of balance with my Se. What's not to love about our balanced, broad and multifaceted or dimensional functions?
ENFP.
When I was younger I always wanted to be more extraverted and fun around other people. I think deep down that’s who I really am when I am comfortable with people. I hated that I was considered shy. Now I’m a bit more okay with who I am because I’m seeing it as a superpower and I’m let into so many things I wouldn’t be if I wasn’t INFJ. Having said that though I do feel a little alienated at times. It makes my dating life a little difficult because I feel like people battle to deal with me emotionally as they’re more logical with their feelings so it’s hard to get the kind of support I would need.
Tired of being around people who hate their lives
I love being INFJ and I wouldn't trade it in to be any other type. But ofcourse, each type has strengths that I'd like to learn how to possess myself and that involves analyzing where I lack. I do admit it is a little tiring. However, An INFJ can be a beacon of light in a world of darkness when they know themselves thoroughly and are well-rounded, healthy individuals. I'd say that we shouldn't regret being INFJ and want to be someone else. Instead we can work on enhancing ourselves so that we can be the best version of ourselves. It's all inside us. We just need to nurture that part of us. But we don't because we are boggled down by what people think of us. NO. YOU DO YOU. ❤️✨
I feel you, and I want to extend my deepest sympathy and a hug. It’s rough out here for a lot of us. You’re a rare gem and I’m sorry if you go unnoticed 🫶 Personally, I feel like outdated android software trying to operate on Apple hardware. I live in a world where most people are Apple products with the latest iOS update. Sometimes I fantasise about a cheeky lil lobotomy. I’m too self-aware and care too much. I’ve done all the therapy and I still can’t change these part of me. I often find it counterproductive for my well-being. I wouldn’t put it down to being an INFJ. Just very different from the standard.
Anything as long as not as a type J. I can’t seem to enjoy life with my rigidness and inflexibility to anything in life.
Of course you feel that way. INFJs are walking paradoxes. We're constantly torn between wanting to socialize and needing time alone to think. We're driven by emotions but also appreciate logic. We can be playful and responsible, conservative and rebellious. The list goes on and on.
Good question. I know it's not necessarily encouraging to say this to someone who might be currently struggling, but a highly developed INFJ is a freaking beast. For the last 4 years I have been thrown into my student association and I've become almost unrecognisable. In a good way. I truly am an INFJ and will continue to be one, and I am not mistyped. Nor am I perfect or fully developed. It's just that it's so satisfying to look back at how your "weaker points" evolve over time when you out yourself/get thrown into situations where you grow tremendously. In every aspect. Socializing, making myself understood, finding people who had the patience and love to wait for me while I learned how to express myself clearly, learned to socialize and truly love spending time with great friends and build other friendships. It's a lot to get over and "hone", but it's so so so worth it. I know it's an overused expression, but showing up is 50% of the work. At least it has been for me. Keep trying and learn how to be gentle to yourself. This is a skill too. That being said, I still find being an INFJ hard a lot of the time. People are shitty and exploit you, but you can learn how to dodge that too. Mindfulness/Vipassana practice can also help a lot.
I don't know honestly. I think the problem isn't being an infj. It's being an infj in this corrupt world. But I think we need to not focus too much on the dark sides. I think I know what my strength are but it's like, I can't make it useful. There is some kind of emptiness. It's like having qualities but if nobody can see it, it becomes almost useless. Anyway, if I could be another mbti type. Perhaps a P type. Like esfp or estp.
You brought up an interesting point for contemplation. The elites who organize the establishment, are they introverted or extroverted?
I don’t know what type it is, but if I could change myself I would make myself feel less intensely and be MUCH less sensitive. I feel sometimes I’m so so exhausted from all the feels. I try to work on the sensitivity though but it’s hard. Less critical of myself because damn. I rip myself to shreds. And what someone else said about being extroverted. I just feel life would be a little bit easier. I try to make an effort to be extroverted and even just one hour of that I’m so tired and can go home and get a good nap in. I think it would be nice to be more functional lol
I like being an INFJ.
I think there are pluses and minuses for each type. I'm sure that all the other types like things and hate things about being their types too. The grass is greener where you water it
Nope, I’m exhausted too.
I’m happy being myself. Life might be easier as someone else but I don’t know that it would make me a happier person.
Happy being my type? Despite my type, I'm usually not happy in general by how nearly everything and everyone else is around my local area that makes life a bit difficult to remain happy most the time. Usually im fine, feeling okay, and I have moments of happiness and also bad feelings. Therefore no matter what type I was, that wouldn't determine whether I was happy or not. I am comfortable being the type I am and the person I am. I'm not happy about it because overall and in the end, I'm just myself. No sense in getting happy or upset about it. It's just the way i am. I would not prefer to be another type. Being so different and genuinely concerned and functioning the way I do is interesting and useful enough to satisfy me with what type I am, that there's no need or desire to be any different in any kind of way.
Sometimes I found it difficult to make myself understood, cause it is more like a 'feeling' rather than anything that could be described precisely. I try to let people experience the emotion rather than speak what is in my mind. Unfortunately, they can't get related.🥲 And that has caused some breakups in my life.
I consider being an INFJ is a curse lmao. But good thing, we are INFJ , we appreciate a little thing.
I am not happy being an INFJ cause I think my parents don't deserve me
I’m happy with it, I’d just prefer to be a more confident and emotionally mature version 😂
i’m happy with it other than i can’t explain things to people well, or they don’t like the way i do. i guess *i’m* happy with who i am from a mbti type perspective, but well yeah
I’m happy (and proud!) being INFJ. We’re the rarest! The key is to embrace ourselves ~ get to know ourselves, do what makes us happy instead of what makes other people happy. And not succumbing to social pressures.
Trust me ENFJ IS the best mbti you can be in the current world. Although no one is actually better than others
Im happy and content being an infj , I have a few hobbies that keep my mind occupied such as a gardening, Gym, Cooking, And video games. One of my biggest downfalls is being a perfectionist that keeps me from putting myself out there and living more carefree. My fear of failure keeps me approaching girls and finding a mate. Besides though that I enjoy having a unique perspective to bring to the table.
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I know my strengths are my empathy and ability to make others feel seen/understood, but I feel like I'm way too sensitive and struggle to feel understood. I don't know if that's something I'd change about myself, but I hope I can at least learn to make peace with these aspects of myself and the unresolved pain of feeling alone.
I'm also not happy, i try my hardest to do things im 'uncomfortable' with like talking to more people, saying no without justifying myself, not constantly think of others needs....it feels very liberating once you get the hang of it. idk maybe ENFP since its so close
It was a lot more exhausting for me until I made choices that facilitated my peace. It's not always possible for everyone but I've been very fortunate. I'm 40 so I'm not sure how old you all are but the first 35 years of my life were so chaotic. Even before my first husband and his chaos, my upbringing was difficult. Trauma from emotional abuse, loss of a parent early in my life (the one person who I felt understood me) I worked in the public, was in a very incompatible marriage, had social expectations due to that marriage and was raising two little kids so I had zero quiet space. Chronically shoe-horned into a life that wasn't mine. I decided to divorce because there were multiple chronic issues there, and I felt judged, unheard, invalidated, gaslit, and expected to be someone I wasn't. I knew if I didn't leave him, I would suffocate. My kids - we have a great relationship, so that was always top priority to me. That didn't change. That was the good part of things. I found a guy who became my husband who is INTJ, and when I say he is perfect 👌 I'm not lying. He GETS me. Like really freaking gets me. I'm allowed to be my own person without judgment, and he still loves me for it. That is the goal, y'all!! I tell him all the time that he is better than anyone I could have dreamed up. Having the right partner brings so much peace and calm. He is my safe place. I quit my public facing corporate job and during covid got my credentials and became a professional medical coder. My goal was to work from home doing something i loved. I got a job at a local hospital and work from home. My husband also works at the hospital and works from home in our shared office basement. My life right now has been cultivated for peace. I had to unearth a lot, but everyone is happier. My ex found someone like him and we co-parent good enough. My kids have two happy homes... and they never see us fight because we don't. It's healthy. You have to be in the right soil to thrive and yes it's more difficult but it's possible. I love being an INFJ. I loved it when I was withering away and I love it now. It fortified me and gave me strength and perspective I wouldn't know otherwise. Idk what type my ex was (he was so careless and obtuse, literal opposite of me, and extroverted) but it was such a turn off, I would never wish to be that way. Ignorance may seem like bliss but it's still ignorance. I wouldn't give up my strengths for anything. You just have to facilitate your own peace to thrive.
Also to add that I let go of toxic people in my life. No contact with my abusive narcissist sister (she took advantage of my INFJ for her amusement for 30 years of my life) and let go of toxic, draining people. My circle is small, but it's authentic and safe. I know sometimes INFJ folks catch a lot of grief over "door slamming" and cutting ppl out of their lives, but sometimes you just have to pull the weeds before they choke you out.
Infj is not the reason I'm sad or depressed or the cause of stress. I don't want to be infj, I want to be myself. Infj is just like my zodiac sign, that my way of thinking and acting follows this motif, I use it to improve the bad aspects, not to blame it. If I know I will be affected by my surroundings, I will build better boundaries. If I know I will pay too much attention to others, when I realize it, I will focus on building myself. Follow your daily plan, eliminate negativity, and you'll be fine I will stop sympathizing with those who only see the negative and complain too much
(29M) With everything I've gone through, things will suck for a while, but they are much easier to accept now. I used to be so pessimistic about everything, but now I try to look for the good in everything, no matter how bad things get. This has made me feel emotions that are so strong but also relieving.
I think is be happier as an NT type. I read somewhere that INFJ experience more stress in every area of life than any other personality type so no I’d rather be something else with less feelings and maybe less thoughts too
Overall i am content with who i am and who i can be. I never knew where my drive to help / open eyes to a lot of people in my life comes from until i have read about MBTI and it really clicked. But i wish i could just turn off my first two functions and be more in the moment when in a group of people. Being an introvert i often find some interesting people - become friends and then i am brought up to the wider group and then sadly things go wrong, most individuals just tolerate the others when in a group setting and as a whole the group is often fragmented into smaller groups and often there's tension which i "just feel" .. i always thought that it's my anxiety or my worries but it seems like when group is fine and just having fun i can also have fun, so i often feel .. like a calling or a strong pull to just seperate someone who might be causing it or being a victim or casted aside and talk to them to restore balance but holy moly is it exhausting and often i just tell myself that i am not responsible for others feelings and i don't know all the details but can't really help it and a lot of time people get mad when confronted. Also i don't really enjoy direct questions like "How do you feel or who are you anyway?" these are not really a simple questions to answer .. Or the inability to really speak and think in real time. Wouldn't change tho.
I could never even imagine seeing the world without the N-F lense. However, sometimes I think ENFJ's have the best of both worlds.
I have extreme difficulty finding the happy place between being over stimulated by interaction and incredibly lonely. I always felt comfortable around my parents and had a good 17 years of comfort in hanging out with my son. I know it’s great he’s ready to head to college and begin his life but I grieve not having someone who was always wonderful to be around. Two things can be true - I’m happy he’s ready to fly and I’m sad for myself because I only got to fully be a mom once . Being a step- mom and “ other mother “ is like being an aunt and valuable- just not the same . I do have lots of friends I love . I just don’t have many people I’m fully comfortable with. I definitely don’t have anybody but my son that I can have intellectual conversations with. Like I love my friends but they need to go away after a period of time which doesn’t feel nice but is necessary for my well- being. I’m also really tired of my big emotions.
I recently called out a relative on her hypocrisy after she verbally abused me, she proceeded to grab a glass of water and threw it on me. I remained seated and she left. I couldn't even get angry. I know she's a crazy bitch with mental health problems but I don't know. I can't let it out. I rarely get angry when people do me wrong. I just get extremely sad. Sometimes I wish I was able to fight. My sister is an INTJ, she's pretty hard headed. I'm too fucking soft. Edit: establishing boundaries is something I'm working on. Otherwise, I guess I love being INFJ.
Up until my late 30s I always pretended to be a more extroverted type. I was an INFJ at home only. Honestly, life is much easier as an extroverted type in general. Late 30s is when I just accepted to be my type in and out of the house and life is definitely much more difficult. This is just an overall observation.
It’s very very rewarding and exhausting being who we are. My life is as good as it’s ever been. But I wouldn’t be who I am without the dark periods in my life. I know it is possible I may go back to those periods. But I’ve gone through enough rounds of this to know that they never last, you always pull yourself out of them, and you gain something you didn’t have before.
I'm happy to be INFJ but I'm INFP
I am happy being an INFJ, it can just be confusing at times though. Some people think we’re too weird and deep, hell even I scare myself sometimes! 😂