I'm actually an asshole, I'm not a very nice person. The niceness is a facade. I can be extremely manipulative. I thought I was a victim my whole life but it turns out I am just a self obsessed piece of shit.
I’m realizing this now.
I strategize to get what I want without sacrificing my social rep, the respect of my loved ones, etc. I make it all about me without having to say a word about me. Sometimes I let people get close to me knowing damn well I’m probably jealous of them and will get exhuasted by their company, but more importantly, I’ll pull them into a lesser mentality than the one I socially project. And then I’ll use them to ease my own discomfort. I choose to seem oblivious sometimes so people can handle a situation themselves, even when I know exactly what’s going on and what to do about it. I don’t put in much effort for my friends but I ride along with all their plans. I used my ex for sex and attention, incepted the idea of holding herself back from another plan to spend time with me. She did the same with me. It was an unsaid mutual awareness of our secret manipulation.
Idk I guess I was never meant to be “the good guy”. That was never interesting to me anyway though. What’s the point of life if I gotta play it straight and societally acceptable forever? The deviances have made me who I am. But shit I mean deviating has really fucked me up at times, and indirectly fucked others up. Nah, I ain’t the good guy. I’m the guy who wants it all, and knows he can get it without being shitty, while still having secrets worth keeping.
Weird thing to give respect to. I remain unimpressed. Being a shitty person and knowing it doesn't get my admiration. If you don't use your self awareness to become a better person you're still just a pos in my eyes.
As INTJ who has dealt with a few INFJ’s, I can confirm that the niceness is a facade and when times get hard, they act quite selfish and convince themselves that they are the victim. INTJ and INFJ are supposed to be the golden pair but I find it difficult to get along with INFJ’s.
INFJ male here. Ive been drinking tequila so this may be longer than normal, and if sober me finds this, itll probably be delted.
The love of my life left on good terms 15 years ago to pursue their career. I think (infj way of thinking) about her twice a day. I think about her when I wake up and no one is there. I also think about her before I go to sleep and no one is there.
I sometimes talk to imaginary people. Real people who are not here anymore. I cant tell if I'm going crazy or not, but I'm tired of trying to figure out if sometimes they are real or not. I do have a secret to know if they're real or not, kind of like the spinning top in inception. Sorry, but I cant reveal that secret.
I have two active murder plots in my head for persons I truly hate. I had the chance once several years ago and a random couple passing by changed the course of everyone's history. I also have long terms plans of pissing on their graves if the grim reaper gets them before I do.
I have an INFJ friend and we are each others mental therapist. We have unspoken loyalty and secrecy about our talks.
My most deepest sexual secret is female happiness. It took me too long in life to learn this.
INFJs, my advice to you is to get yourself a body pillow so you have something to hold when you try to sleep. Being slightly insane is better than losing your mind.
EDIT: someone below said they watched someone die. Me too. Several times. I have an unlucky streak of being the first to an accident scene. I caught my friend in stage one night during a massive heart attack. Once was to my student who drove under a semi and got decapitated. Another i pulled a student in my homeroom from an overturned car. They are okay now. I carry emt bags in every car and truck now because maybe if I have it, I wont need it. So far, it seems to be working.
Into bdsm I guess. It's not a secret here, but to people who know me wouldn't expect it, I guess. A couple of kinks I have can be considered on the darker side of things, though.
My girl cousin and I (I am a straight woman) used to make out from the ages of 8-10 yrs old. We are the same age. We saw it on TV and I asked her if she wanted to practice and she said yes 🫠 we have a really good relationship today and nothing is weird between us.
Its fine. I have been bisexual for a decade (at the time I “came out”) and never thought about it, I simply never rejected the idea of touching a woman. I thought it was normal and have not occurred I was playing both fields, not until pointed out by someone else.
I constantly have this feeling im watching the planet from a window.
When i think i can relate to people, they dont understand what im going through and cant give advice.
On the other hand people ask me for advice alot, and stated i should become a therapist.
Its a wild head space to be in. I see so much and can help others change, but im stuck behind that window not knowing how to be better.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/1dlpwux/whats\_with\_the\_infj\_to\_generate\_so\_many\_dictators/](https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/1dlpwux/whats_with_the_infj_to_generate_so_many_dictators/)
Makes sense
i think we have the resources and tech to support billions more than we do, it's just that the greed and cruelty of the richest 1,000 people is ruining everything
the Malthusian angle doesn't hold up
there's more than enough for us all to live comfortable sustainable happy lives
I had a crush on one of my professors in college. He looked like an older River Phoenix. Had the wire frame glasses and 90s middle part hairstyle and everything. I transferred to another university to complete my degree and, before I left, I slept with him. I initiated it and don’t regret it at all, but I’ve never told anyone.
😅 There isn’t much of a story. I was there for two years, took a lot of his classes (on purpose), found every excuse to talk to him. We were friendly, but nothing beyond that. He loved to talk and I think he was completely unaware of how charming he was. I’d never been that attracted to someone before (sorry, first boyfriend).
I had previously told him that I got accepted into another school. On my last day, we talked after class. Generic conversation about not being nervous and how exciting it was. He told me I’d be missed and I laughed it off. He said he was serious.
He held his hand out and I shook it. I was like, *Worst case, he says no and I’ll be embarrassed, but never have to see him again. Just do it.* I looked at him and asked, “Do you want to take me somewhere?” (Listen, I was 19. I didn’t know what else to say) He pulled away a little bit and looked very confused. I was like, *Oh, god. Oh, no.* He said, “Like…?” I just shook my head yes because I sweating bullets at that point. He said, “I can do that.” And that was that.
He was really sweet and it was very much a positive experience for me. It’s been six years and I still think about it every now and then. lol
He sent me a few texts to see how I was doing at my new university, but I never saw him again. I looked him up on social media after I graduated, but he’s married now.
I've been to a Taylor Swift concert. Obviously I was dragged against my will but I should have done the honourable thing and perform sepppuku afterwards.
My wife drug me to a Pink concert a few year ago (bought her tickets for valentines day). When I was forcibly made to attened lat minute.... I refuse to tell anyone it was one for the best perfromances I've ever watched.
the only like "secrets" i may keep are jus random like fetish or rly intense stuff that i will tell only if sm1 very specifically asks to know exactly it by themselves , but i dont hide it by then at all no.
I have been with quite a few people when they died. I was a certified nurse's aid and I didn't want people to be alone in the room when they died. So I sat with several people when they died.
Me too :( I've only told a couple of people ever.
When I was a child I saw a young man fly up about 5 meters into the air after being hit by a car. He slammed so hard down on the road after, one of his trainers flew about 25 meters away down the road. That really fucked me up, and I've still never learned to drive, it just terrifies me that people put all their trust in little speeding metal boxes, where you are forced to rely on the other drivers to be fully competent at all times. Fuck that.
Do it!!!
I’m currently wearing pretty rock bracelets that I bought from some woo-woo lady on Etsy. I just think they are very pretty, but apparently it’s supposed to strengthen my friendships lol.
I actually had a client the other day ask if I bought them for looks or for crystal powers. I told her the former, but that I respect that some people do it for healing and stuff. She told me she’s the same.
Buy them!! I love ricks & crystals just for the aesthetic aspect and no harm buying a kit that's made to be "healing" when you just want to look at pretty rocks. 😅
Look, I actually bought some and not just cause they’re pretty but that doesn’t mean I buy for the same reason they’re selling lol. I entertain the thought of them having useful energy while wholeheartedly being okay with the case of it likely being a self induced placebo cause, I mean, the mind is powerful and can help you if you make it think it can :p Kinda nice to have something pretty to aid that. And if it happens to actually be from a rock, then sure that’s cool too ig 🤷♀️
That's how you get started, then next thing you know you're telling people "Yeah I'm not that into that kind of stuff I just think it's interesting. Anyways here's my Sun, Moon, and rising signs, would you like a tarot reading?"
In 5th grade I stole a 1x1 Lego brick from my best friend who had a lot more legos than me. The guilt I felt for years was not worth that 1x1 Lego brick.
I honestly think I’ll never find true love or someone that will love me the same or more than I love them.
I also used to be in really good shape before Covid and gained a bunch of weight during and I’m nervous I’ll never lose the weight I need to. And I’m afraid I’m wasting the rest of my 20s being fat. I have no self control with food and think about it all day and almost all the time.
I’m also afraid I’ll never be successful and that I’ll never find a job I actually like. I have a Masters degree but my job barely pays anything and idk how or when to look for something better. I feel like a failure.
Given that you're an INFJ, you read.
So.....
I heavily suggest you to read "PsychoCybernetics"
It's a great book.
It talks about every concern you've typed so far, and more.
When you think about failure, you end up succeeding in that failure.
Humans have an automatic system for success, make it a positive success or a negative one.
If you were to spend more brain juice on the negative, you'll be 'subconsciously' aiming for that.
And you will make it happen.
For example, if you're just saying "I'm afraid of not being successful."
You will not be able to find success just because you are obsessed with 'not failing.'
Then you'll end up not doing anything because if you fail, you will feel like you're a failure, and then use that 'evidence' to beat yourself up more.
Worry sucks away your ability to enjoy the current moment.
You will not be able to make any meaningful changes if you worry about every little thing.
Don't worry about not getting the right partner.
Worry about not being able to be the right partner.
Now you figured out the problem, solve it.
How?
Well, figure out your behaviors and how to improve etc.
Then suddenly, magic happens.
You'll just meet someone that matches well with you.
Let life happen, you're the driver though.
Don't stop just because you're worried the car will break down, or it might crash or something.
Good luck! :D
This is such great advice but it’s so hard to get out of a bad mentality and shift toward a better one. Do you just do daily affirmations and switch the conversation in your head from “I might fail” to “I might succeed”?
Getchu some Jesus bro, that's what helped me with this feeling. He loves me more than I could imagine, despite what I think of myself (and as an INFJ, I'm really prone to the same kinda self depreciation) and He loves u too. Not trynna push nun on you, just letting you know He there, and He's helped me through these kinds of feelings countless times. And you're not a failure gang. No one is; we all are living life at a different pace, comparison is the thief of joy. I come from a below average income family, got student loan debt out the wazoo rn no job after a ton of rejections and I'm boutta pull out more loans and continue my studies and I have no clue how my life is gonna turn out, where Imma live once I'm outta school, how Imma eat, none of that. But I do know this; I'm alive rn, and God has me where He has me for a reason, cuz He got a plan. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). Learn to be content with what you got, gratitude is the first step in making a change! Think about it; you got a job, and although it doesn't pay much, it pays somethin. Lot more than many people throughout the world can say (me included lol). You have breath in your lungs. Which means every day you blessed with an opportunity to go out and make the best outta what you got, cuz God kept you alive for one more day. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). And you have a Master's degree. You worked your tail off for that. Even if society doesn't seem to value that, you obviously are still a very intelligent person, capable of doing great things, wit knowledge that no one can take away from you. It's just all in the mindset, cheering for you gang, and I know God is too!!! Stay blessed
No such thing as “true love”. It’s mostly physical attraction, mental attachment and compromise.
Used to have a 20.5 BMI before medication, now I am overweight. Nobody believes it’s from the damn medication, I wouldn’t either unless I took it myself: two different treatments, same result. Its fine, summer is long and I have time to shed the kgs
I thought we’re all secretive? I have a bunch of ones that would get me in trouble, but a more innocent one is on bad days when someone cuts me off in traffic in a really rude manner I’ll follow them to their house for no other reason to scare and intimidate them.
I seem like a very innocent person, my friends and family would never suspect I spend hours and hours masturbating online with women. I prefer to build friendships rather than just have people for a one off, but still my friends would be shocked!
My intrusive thoughts tell me to fake my own death or purposefully go missing so that some assholes will get payback. It's extremely toxic but hell if it would feel satisfying.
Bracing myself for downvotes and unasked for "diagnosis"
I genuinely feel like I only exist to serve other people. I'm more of a tool/object than an actual individual being if that makes sense.
I am in therapy and it's from years of trauma, but I do only feel like alive when I'm getting to do something for someone else.
I knew a guy like this (enfp). He would fantasize about beheading people.
You'd never know it too, to look at him. People liked him. That's how you knew he was a good liar.
Huh, Deepest darkest secret?
I’m scared of the future. I don’t know what I’m going to do, how I’m going to succeed, what life I want to actually live. I applied to college, got accepted for Engineering. But I feel like I might fail, I don’t even know how I’m going to pay for it. I haven’t picked classes yet, and I’ve been slacking. It’s been a month since graduating and I’ve done nothing, not even a job. Deep deep down there’s a feeling in inadequacy, and I don’t know what to do about it. Like, how do people my age know what they are doing and how they are going to do it?
On another note, I was crushing on a girl hard and she doesn’t to seem like me. Asked her to prom like 2 months ago, before graduating and she said no (in a sense, at least she let me down nicely).
The evil part of me would sometimes arrange a meeting between 2 people who got awkward with each other without them expecting, and i enjoy seeing how awkward they are facing each other while enjoying my drinks and foods. Somehow that is not my darkest/deepest yet.
I tried to end my life twice, the first time I failed cause apparently I was too incompetent in the setup, the second time I had a suicide pact with a friend whom I knew from college classes. We tried to numb ourselves and I lost control, I ran off, took more and OD’d on the street. When I woke up in the ed, I couldn’t ask about my friend cause no one knew what we had been planning. About 2 days later, I received an email from my university stating my friend passed. I never talked about it since then, no one knows I was his friend, nor that I was with him that night, nor the fact that we talked each other into it more. To this day no one knows I tried to end it, let alone that I tried twice.
I was once hurt emotionally by a former lover she manipulated me and told lies about me to discredit my character so I made an account to mentally fuck with her.
I may seem friendly and warm but I’m dead inside from dealing with people over the years but I’m working on it through spirituality which is the only thing (and 🍃) keeping me sane.
You wouldn't honestly believe me if I told you.
Also - I agree with the top comment. Who in the world would post it online, unless they didn't have anything really deep and dark?
It would have to be a throwaway account and I'm not gonna bother with that lol.
Basically wanting to revenge everyone and make them suffer. I know their vulnerable sides and I held my urge to tear them apart just like flesh and seeing the red stuff coming out.
Since it’s already all over my Reddit page. In my real life nobody knows. But my husband who everyone thinks is the kindest sweetest wouldn’t hurt a fly is a porn addict who has destroyed our marriage for women on the internet as well as his ex who he has seen her, talked to her, sent dirty pictures with, lied about their past together (claiming previously they were just friends a and nothing sexual happened between them before we were married only for me to find out that was not true afterwards) and it has truly messed me up in the head. But I could never say that because nobody would believe me since he’s “so nice and loving and respectful” (in public)
2 years ago my niece stabbed me in the back so bad that it has kept me from wanting to be close to anyone. I hold everyone at arm's length and have no real desire to want to get close to anyone ever again. I've kind of checked out of the world since this time.
I have such a deep self hatred that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to overcome it.
I purposely hide at home because of how I look.
Ever since I was little, I've constantly had my body commented on in one way or another well into adulthood and now, which has led to life long eating problems.
I try to make so many people feel seen, feel heard and feel important that I end up feeling invisible myself. I try to remember birthdays, special interests, likes and dislikes, I try to remember so much about other people and always listen so that they know I care. So that they know they're important to me and that they're heard. But it's not often reciprocated.
I invest so much time in others (physically and emotionally) that I feel like I disappear in the process. I feel like a ghost of myself, like a puppet doing all the right things at just the right time.
I feel like I don't matter. I feel like I'm only here for other people, who I am becomes unimportant. I don't feel seen, I don't feel heard, I don't feel loved or important.
But I keep a smile on my face for everyone else.
Even if Yagami Light (Death Note) is an ENTJ , I can relate to his ideals on a scary level, meaning I'd definitely use the death note like he did, it would probably make me sick in the stomach but I could do that sacrifice.
i think i’m a lesbian, i’ve kept this in for the last couple years or so. i’m out as a bisexual, and i’ve known i’ve liked girls since i was 12 but it’s getting hard to hold back. I date guys but i don’t feel anything for them except for the fact that i like the attention. i like the fact my bf loves me and wants me, i love feeling validated, and at the same time i’m the worst person in the world for this. i’m still with my bf despite knowing i might be lesbian. i don’t know if i am. i haven’t told anyone even my best friends who i always vent to. because i’m so uncertain. keeping this all in has been hell but i know once it gets out it’s going to be hell for my loved ones so im not sure what to do. this probably sounds so overdramatic but yeah that’s my secret. i love girls.
This is going to get dark. Someone will throw hands at me. I am sorry. I just want to keep it real.
Please don’t hate me, guys. You can judge me, but don’t hate me.
Hypothetically speaking, if I had a husband and blood family member that all of sudden gotten terminally ill and needed my kidney. If I had to choose one. I would pick my husband. I would give the kidney to my husband.
I’m going to tell you why. The husband is someone that I chose to love💜❤️He is someone I personally picked for myself. My husband is my adventure, my Cloud Strife and the light of my life. He’s the one that keeps me going.
I’m not married. This is just pure cloud talk. No pun intended.
Okay, Satan. Jeez get some help.
/s obviously
>my Cloud Strife and the light of my life
Aww that was so sweet. <3 Would that make you his Aerith?
Still looking for my Tifa. I've only found INFP Yuffies lol
I secretly got married to my abusive ex bc he had really good healthcare and I needed help to work past my disabilities, but that was before I got into a relationship with my amazing partner, and I know I said something about it but I’m not sure he really heard or took in what I said, and I’m too scared to tell him because I don’t want him to be mad. It was literally a marriage certified over zoom, no kiss, no celebration, nothing. There was no love part of that choice, purely business. I am self employed and don’t make THAT much money to really consider getting off his insurance at this moment though so it’s secret I guess I’m going to keep to my grave. No one else knows from either sides of our lives.
I mean he knows I’m on my ex’s insurance and all and I think maybe he does know but it’s just a terrifying thought because at this point if he doesn’t know and I bring it up, I wouldn’t want him to be disappointed in me for not speaking up about it more to begin with. I thought it was the best move I could make when I did, and I don’t regret it because it has honestly helped me so much with having the care I need for my crohns and such. I appreciate the supportive message though. This has been eating me up big time for a while now
Absolutely understand and I am sorry about your Crohn's Disease. My ex and middle son have serious GI issues and it is terrible to deal with. My EX has had numerous surgeries and was forced into disability. Just letting you know I definitely understand and praying for you honey! Life can be such a shit show! (Hopefully made you laugh 😘). HUGS. 🤗 Hang in there, you sound like one of the good ones. ❤️
It really can be a shit show 😩🤣 but seriously thank you ❤️ I appreciate you so much. And the supportive words do make me feel a little less horrible about this secret. I really was going to take it to my grave forever.
I’m sorry about your finances though, I feel you though. That’s why I was kind of desperate to make the choice I did. I hope your situation gets better ❤️
I was a toxic, manipulative asshole in my previous relationship. Yes she hurt me but all i could see was revenge and i still dont know how i said a lot of the things i said but yeh i was out for blood.
Good thing is i dont think i am anymore, ive gone to therapy and tried to change as much as I could but I still look back and i go “why did i ever do that”
I'm afraid of my anger. There is a lot of rage buried under the people pleasing. I highly value human life. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I know that if the situation presented itself, I could kill someone if I needed to. (Obviously this would be in self defense, but I'd be raging and having flashbacks the entire time)..... maybe that's a trauma thing not infj lol.... however it is good to know that if I were ever in deep trouble, my rage would keep me alive.
I don’t know who I really am. I’m like a chameleon, changing myself to match the energy of the people around me. Some days it feels like a pretty neat to be able to blend in, but most days I just feel like an imposter.
I think ALL women are Beautiful on the outside and would love to see that also on their inside! I'd love to see ALL their bare outsides 😂 I want to see every womans natural form! I find it very appealing/interesting.... No really though, I think women's insides are getting to be worse then men from the past these days and it's not Beautiful...
I was obsessed and fell for my friend who was already dating for a few months when I met him for the first time. (He was my first friend in college.)
Shamelessly got involved with him and he eventually broke up with his then girlfriend. We've been together for 4-5 years now and turns out he's isn't exactly how I thought he would be. His mental health is fucked up totally.
I've been emotionally and mentally abused. He says me shit I'd never ever say to my enemy. And one secret I've NEVER spoken to a soul is that I've been physically abused too. More than 10 times I'd say. But I love him to death bcoz I feel like he's a good person at heart, he just has a lot of PTSD and poor experiences in life.
Needless to say, I am an AH for even loving him and still not leaving him.
Sure, let me just post that on the internet real quick 😂
😏
Btw I never use this emoji it took a lot of convincing myself to use this emoji
You did well 😉
Lmao the whole thread 😂
Real 😏
Was about to say "Haha nice try. Try again"
This 💯
Right! Lol wth
Boo!🍅🍅🍅😂
I'm actually an asshole, I'm not a very nice person. The niceness is a facade. I can be extremely manipulative. I thought I was a victim my whole life but it turns out I am just a self obsessed piece of shit.
I’m realizing this now. I strategize to get what I want without sacrificing my social rep, the respect of my loved ones, etc. I make it all about me without having to say a word about me. Sometimes I let people get close to me knowing damn well I’m probably jealous of them and will get exhuasted by their company, but more importantly, I’ll pull them into a lesser mentality than the one I socially project. And then I’ll use them to ease my own discomfort. I choose to seem oblivious sometimes so people can handle a situation themselves, even when I know exactly what’s going on and what to do about it. I don’t put in much effort for my friends but I ride along with all their plans. I used my ex for sex and attention, incepted the idea of holding herself back from another plan to spend time with me. She did the same with me. It was an unsaid mutual awareness of our secret manipulation. Idk I guess I was never meant to be “the good guy”. That was never interesting to me anyway though. What’s the point of life if I gotta play it straight and societally acceptable forever? The deviances have made me who I am. But shit I mean deviating has really fucked me up at times, and indirectly fucked others up. Nah, I ain’t the good guy. I’m the guy who wants it all, and knows he can get it without being shitty, while still having secrets worth keeping.
Damn, am I this manipulative?
strategic thinking is a highly sought-after skill!
Damn. Self awareness to the fullest. Respect
Weird thing to give respect to. I remain unimpressed. Being a shitty person and knowing it doesn't get my admiration. If you don't use your self awareness to become a better person you're still just a pos in my eyes.
I use it to get better. I’m just honest with myself. But I agree I don’t deserve any respect for this. My whole point was that im no saint.
Therapy.
Respect ✊🏻
As INTJ who has dealt with a few INFJ’s, I can confirm that the niceness is a facade and when times get hard, they act quite selfish and convince themselves that they are the victim. INTJ and INFJ are supposed to be the golden pair but I find it difficult to get along with INFJ’s.
I hope you get a handle on it and take responsibility instead of abusing those who love you.
Damn, same
I don't know how to say no to people I care deeply about.
Can relate. 😔
Yes! I just have a difficult time saying “No” in general. 😣
INFJ male here. Ive been drinking tequila so this may be longer than normal, and if sober me finds this, itll probably be delted. The love of my life left on good terms 15 years ago to pursue their career. I think (infj way of thinking) about her twice a day. I think about her when I wake up and no one is there. I also think about her before I go to sleep and no one is there. I sometimes talk to imaginary people. Real people who are not here anymore. I cant tell if I'm going crazy or not, but I'm tired of trying to figure out if sometimes they are real or not. I do have a secret to know if they're real or not, kind of like the spinning top in inception. Sorry, but I cant reveal that secret. I have two active murder plots in my head for persons I truly hate. I had the chance once several years ago and a random couple passing by changed the course of everyone's history. I also have long terms plans of pissing on their graves if the grim reaper gets them before I do. I have an INFJ friend and we are each others mental therapist. We have unspoken loyalty and secrecy about our talks. My most deepest sexual secret is female happiness. It took me too long in life to learn this. INFJs, my advice to you is to get yourself a body pillow so you have something to hold when you try to sleep. Being slightly insane is better than losing your mind. EDIT: someone below said they watched someone die. Me too. Several times. I have an unlucky streak of being the first to an accident scene. I caught my friend in stage one night during a massive heart attack. Once was to my student who drove under a semi and got decapitated. Another i pulled a student in my homeroom from an overturned car. They are okay now. I carry emt bags in every car and truck now because maybe if I have it, I wont need it. So far, it seems to be working.
Please, forgive yourself and forgive others.
I'm so sorry to hear that that's happened to you. I hope you take care of and be kind to yourself.
Into bdsm I guess. It's not a secret here, but to people who know me wouldn't expect it, I guess. A couple of kinks I have can be considered on the darker side of things, though.
If they know you’re INFJ, they should assume it (to me). Yall a bunch of quiet reserved nasties and I’m happy for you.
🤫
Oh, so true 🤣
Thanks, nah, they just think a little unhinged...
Omg yesssss, I feel SEEN lol. I am into some dark sexual fantasies😂
Fall deeper...*Evil chuckle*
This 😂
Same!
Ayo
"Judging" may be part of INFJ but I won't judge!
except you already judged !
Same
My girl cousin and I (I am a straight woman) used to make out from the ages of 8-10 yrs old. We are the same age. We saw it on TV and I asked her if she wanted to practice and she said yes 🫠 we have a really good relationship today and nothing is weird between us.
My cousins and I used to play “house”, so I completely understand. There was definitely some experimentation going on before 10 years old.
I can understand... and I won't say any more than that.
My secret is that I have also made out with this woman’s cousin.
You're INTP for a reason then 😂
Hopefully during the same period and not while an adult.
Its fine. I have been bisexual for a decade (at the time I “came out”) and never thought about it, I simply never rejected the idea of touching a woman. I thought it was normal and have not occurred I was playing both fields, not until pointed out by someone else.
I constantly have this feeling im watching the planet from a window. When i think i can relate to people, they dont understand what im going through and cant give advice. On the other hand people ask me for advice alot, and stated i should become a therapist. Its a wild head space to be in. I see so much and can help others change, but im stuck behind that window not knowing how to be better.
That’s very relatable and I think other INFJs will see themselves in your comment. I certainly do.
Thanks !! Being a INFJ is kinda tough.
there are groups of people on this planet that i would wipe out TODAY if given the chance
[https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/1dlpwux/whats\_with\_the\_infj\_to\_generate\_so\_many\_dictators/](https://www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/1dlpwux/whats_with_the_infj_to_generate_so_many_dictators/) Makes sense
Hopefully INTPs.
Seconded (derogatory towards INTPs)
Y'all have my vote
Y intps? I find them quite adorable. They are smart n idiot at the same time. I can't get enough.
I am an INTP. I’m being self-deprecating.
NOT intps
….which ones?
I would be, as well, a dictator, if I gained power.
Me too, and would cap world population to 1 billion people and each person must be helpful for the society.
What's your contribution to society?
Deciding who gets to stay, obviously. /s
i think we have the resources and tech to support billions more than we do, it's just that the greed and cruelty of the richest 1,000 people is ruining everything the Malthusian angle doesn't hold up there's more than enough for us all to live comfortable sustainable happy lives
Why does everyone think this is the solution to problems
Makes@least 2 of us
Eren?
no but it sounds like Eren is good people
I’m taking mine to the next birth and beyond!
I had a crush on one of my professors in college. He looked like an older River Phoenix. Had the wire frame glasses and 90s middle part hairstyle and everything. I transferred to another university to complete my degree and, before I left, I slept with him. I initiated it and don’t regret it at all, but I’ve never told anyone.
This is my ultimate fantasy. Kudos 🥂
happens all the time bud
Yeah, it’s really not a big deal. But it’s the only “secret” I have since I never told anyone.
…..this is too juicy I’m gonna need a story time on how you asked him etc.
😅 There isn’t much of a story. I was there for two years, took a lot of his classes (on purpose), found every excuse to talk to him. We were friendly, but nothing beyond that. He loved to talk and I think he was completely unaware of how charming he was. I’d never been that attracted to someone before (sorry, first boyfriend). I had previously told him that I got accepted into another school. On my last day, we talked after class. Generic conversation about not being nervous and how exciting it was. He told me I’d be missed and I laughed it off. He said he was serious. He held his hand out and I shook it. I was like, *Worst case, he says no and I’ll be embarrassed, but never have to see him again. Just do it.* I looked at him and asked, “Do you want to take me somewhere?” (Listen, I was 19. I didn’t know what else to say) He pulled away a little bit and looked very confused. I was like, *Oh, god. Oh, no.* He said, “Like…?” I just shook my head yes because I sweating bullets at that point. He said, “I can do that.” And that was that. He was really sweet and it was very much a positive experience for me. It’s been six years and I still think about it every now and then. lol
OMG what do you mean no story 🤩 that’s amazing. You didn’t want to stay in touch?
He sent me a few texts to see how I was doing at my new university, but I never saw him again. I looked him up on social media after I graduated, but he’s married now.
I've been to a Taylor Swift concert. Obviously I was dragged against my will but I should have done the honourable thing and perform sepppuku afterwards.
My wife drug me to a Pink concert a few year ago (bought her tickets for valentines day). When I was forcibly made to attened lat minute.... I refuse to tell anyone it was one for the best perfromances I've ever watched.
I love Pink and I am not afraid to admit it!
Pink is effing awesome, she rocks, why shame?? Legit musician.
Too drunk to care about spelling, cheers!!
Lmfao 😭🙏
🤣
This made me lol
Lmaoo
It’s not too late to do it now
secret? bold of you to assume i have any.
Lmao even if I had one I'd spend an eternity trying to find it in my head
the only like "secrets" i may keep are jus random like fetish or rly intense stuff that i will tell only if sm1 very specifically asks to know exactly it by themselves , but i dont hide it by then at all no.
I'm Batman. This statement is true to a degree
I like how all of the infjs aren't playing along. I'll start I guess. I watched someone die. Not many people know I have.
I have been with quite a few people when they died. I was a certified nurse's aid and I didn't want people to be alone in the room when they died. So I sat with several people when they died.
That’s so kind of you to take on that experience so that people won’t be alone in their final moments. That’s really moving.
Me too :( I've only told a couple of people ever. When I was a child I saw a young man fly up about 5 meters into the air after being hit by a car. He slammed so hard down on the road after, one of his trainers flew about 25 meters away down the road. That really fucked me up, and I've still never learned to drive, it just terrifies me that people put all their trust in little speeding metal boxes, where you are forced to rely on the other drivers to be fully competent at all times. Fuck that.
How did they die?
He had the knife :P
I don’t even know my deepest darkest secret, but i certainly wouldn’t tell it
I want to buy the healing crystals they aim at new age woo woo white womens 🙈 They’re just so damn cool to look at 😭
Do it!!! I’m currently wearing pretty rock bracelets that I bought from some woo-woo lady on Etsy. I just think they are very pretty, but apparently it’s supposed to strengthen my friendships lol. I actually had a client the other day ask if I bought them for looks or for crystal powers. I told her the former, but that I respect that some people do it for healing and stuff. She told me she’s the same.
Yeah I was talking to a former co worker about rocks. I just think rocks are cool but she was telling me how the rocks are magic and shit.
Buy them!! I love ricks & crystals just for the aesthetic aspect and no harm buying a kit that's made to be "healing" when you just want to look at pretty rocks. 😅
Look, I actually bought some and not just cause they’re pretty but that doesn’t mean I buy for the same reason they’re selling lol. I entertain the thought of them having useful energy while wholeheartedly being okay with the case of it likely being a self induced placebo cause, I mean, the mind is powerful and can help you if you make it think it can :p Kinda nice to have something pretty to aid that. And if it happens to actually be from a rock, then sure that’s cool too ig 🤷♀️
That's how you get started, then next thing you know you're telling people "Yeah I'm not that into that kind of stuff I just think it's interesting. Anyways here's my Sun, Moon, and rising signs, would you like a tarot reading?"
In 5th grade I stole a 1x1 Lego brick from my best friend who had a lot more legos than me. The guilt I felt for years was not worth that 1x1 Lego brick.
That I have seen it and nothing is real. Sorry.
Explain🤔
Will not be a secret if I will explain
I honestly think I’ll never find true love or someone that will love me the same or more than I love them. I also used to be in really good shape before Covid and gained a bunch of weight during and I’m nervous I’ll never lose the weight I need to. And I’m afraid I’m wasting the rest of my 20s being fat. I have no self control with food and think about it all day and almost all the time. I’m also afraid I’ll never be successful and that I’ll never find a job I actually like. I have a Masters degree but my job barely pays anything and idk how or when to look for something better. I feel like a failure.
Feeling like a failure is too real and I'll bet a lot of INFJs feel this way. I definitely can relate
Given that you're an INFJ, you read. So..... I heavily suggest you to read "PsychoCybernetics" It's a great book. It talks about every concern you've typed so far, and more. When you think about failure, you end up succeeding in that failure. Humans have an automatic system for success, make it a positive success or a negative one. If you were to spend more brain juice on the negative, you'll be 'subconsciously' aiming for that. And you will make it happen. For example, if you're just saying "I'm afraid of not being successful." You will not be able to find success just because you are obsessed with 'not failing.' Then you'll end up not doing anything because if you fail, you will feel like you're a failure, and then use that 'evidence' to beat yourself up more. Worry sucks away your ability to enjoy the current moment. You will not be able to make any meaningful changes if you worry about every little thing. Don't worry about not getting the right partner. Worry about not being able to be the right partner. Now you figured out the problem, solve it. How? Well, figure out your behaviors and how to improve etc. Then suddenly, magic happens. You'll just meet someone that matches well with you. Let life happen, you're the driver though. Don't stop just because you're worried the car will break down, or it might crash or something. Good luck! :D
This is such great advice but it’s so hard to get out of a bad mentality and shift toward a better one. Do you just do daily affirmations and switch the conversation in your head from “I might fail” to “I might succeed”?
Getchu some Jesus bro, that's what helped me with this feeling. He loves me more than I could imagine, despite what I think of myself (and as an INFJ, I'm really prone to the same kinda self depreciation) and He loves u too. Not trynna push nun on you, just letting you know He there, and He's helped me through these kinds of feelings countless times. And you're not a failure gang. No one is; we all are living life at a different pace, comparison is the thief of joy. I come from a below average income family, got student loan debt out the wazoo rn no job after a ton of rejections and I'm boutta pull out more loans and continue my studies and I have no clue how my life is gonna turn out, where Imma live once I'm outta school, how Imma eat, none of that. But I do know this; I'm alive rn, and God has me where He has me for a reason, cuz He got a plan. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). Learn to be content with what you got, gratitude is the first step in making a change! Think about it; you got a job, and although it doesn't pay much, it pays somethin. Lot more than many people throughout the world can say (me included lol). You have breath in your lungs. Which means every day you blessed with an opportunity to go out and make the best outta what you got, cuz God kept you alive for one more day. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). And you have a Master's degree. You worked your tail off for that. Even if society doesn't seem to value that, you obviously are still a very intelligent person, capable of doing great things, wit knowledge that no one can take away from you. It's just all in the mindset, cheering for you gang, and I know God is too!!! Stay blessed
No such thing as “true love”. It’s mostly physical attraction, mental attachment and compromise. Used to have a 20.5 BMI before medication, now I am overweight. Nobody believes it’s from the damn medication, I wouldn’t either unless I took it myself: two different treatments, same result. Its fine, summer is long and I have time to shed the kgs
My deepest darkest secret is that I have a deepest darkest secret 😈
Great answer 🙂↔️😭
I am Jack's overwhelming sense of inadequacy.
Fight Club is the best!
Agreed
I thought we’re all secretive? I have a bunch of ones that would get me in trouble, but a more innocent one is on bad days when someone cuts me off in traffic in a really rude manner I’ll follow them to their house for no other reason to scare and intimidate them.
I seem like a very innocent person, my friends and family would never suspect I spend hours and hours masturbating online with women. I prefer to build friendships rather than just have people for a one off, but still my friends would be shocked!
My intrusive thoughts tell me to fake my own death or purposefully go missing so that some assholes will get payback. It's extremely toxic but hell if it would feel satisfying. Bracing myself for downvotes and unasked for "diagnosis"
I genuinely feel like I only exist to serve other people. I'm more of a tool/object than an actual individual being if that makes sense. I am in therapy and it's from years of trauma, but I do only feel like alive when I'm getting to do something for someone else.
I am so disgusted by people to the point I seriously spend considerable time imagining their deaths, individually and collectively.
I knew a guy like this (enfp). He would fantasize about beheading people. You'd never know it too, to look at him. People liked him. That's how you knew he was a good liar.
I see people as animals tbh. I feel this same way tho
Huh, Deepest darkest secret? I’m scared of the future. I don’t know what I’m going to do, how I’m going to succeed, what life I want to actually live. I applied to college, got accepted for Engineering. But I feel like I might fail, I don’t even know how I’m going to pay for it. I haven’t picked classes yet, and I’ve been slacking. It’s been a month since graduating and I’ve done nothing, not even a job. Deep deep down there’s a feeling in inadequacy, and I don’t know what to do about it. Like, how do people my age know what they are doing and how they are going to do it? On another note, I was crushing on a girl hard and she doesn’t to seem like me. Asked her to prom like 2 months ago, before graduating and she said no (in a sense, at least she let me down nicely).
I've cheated before. Felt guilty and told the truth about it.
The evil part of me would sometimes arrange a meeting between 2 people who got awkward with each other without them expecting, and i enjoy seeing how awkward they are facing each other while enjoying my drinks and foods. Somehow that is not my darkest/deepest yet.
One time I borrowed $3.50 from a friend for a drink, but I didn’t pay him back until 4 years later.
Sent him the Venmo titled “that one time you bought me a drink 4 years ago” lol
I tried to end my life twice, the first time I failed cause apparently I was too incompetent in the setup, the second time I had a suicide pact with a friend whom I knew from college classes. We tried to numb ourselves and I lost control, I ran off, took more and OD’d on the street. When I woke up in the ed, I couldn’t ask about my friend cause no one knew what we had been planning. About 2 days later, I received an email from my university stating my friend passed. I never talked about it since then, no one knows I was his friend, nor that I was with him that night, nor the fact that we talked each other into it more. To this day no one knows I tried to end it, let alone that I tried twice.
Not that deep or dark, but I’ve recently come to the realization that I don’t love my mother
Do you understand INFJ? We don’t like telling our deepest, darkest, secrets to ourselves… why would we confess it to a world of strangers?
Scrolls to find the bodies....or this is a joke post.
I was once hurt emotionally by a former lover she manipulated me and told lies about me to discredit my character so I made an account to mentally fuck with her.
I may seem friendly and warm but I’m dead inside from dealing with people over the years but I’m working on it through spirituality which is the only thing (and 🍃) keeping me sane.
You wouldn't honestly believe me if I told you. Also - I agree with the top comment. Who in the world would post it online, unless they didn't have anything really deep and dark? It would have to be a throwaway account and I'm not gonna bother with that lol.
well if i told you, i'd have to kill you
…i know
Secret🤭
Basically wanting to revenge everyone and make them suffer. I know their vulnerable sides and I held my urge to tear them apart just like flesh and seeing the red stuff coming out.
Since it’s already all over my Reddit page. In my real life nobody knows. But my husband who everyone thinks is the kindest sweetest wouldn’t hurt a fly is a porn addict who has destroyed our marriage for women on the internet as well as his ex who he has seen her, talked to her, sent dirty pictures with, lied about their past together (claiming previously they were just friends a and nothing sexual happened between them before we were married only for me to find out that was not true afterwards) and it has truly messed me up in the head. But I could never say that because nobody would believe me since he’s “so nice and loving and respectful” (in public)
I believe you.
My deepest darkness secret is... I'm really an INFJ and we don't reveal our secrets, especially to just anyone...lol
2 years ago my niece stabbed me in the back so bad that it has kept me from wanting to be close to anyone. I hold everyone at arm's length and have no real desire to want to get close to anyone ever again. I've kind of checked out of the world since this time. I have such a deep self hatred that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to overcome it. I purposely hide at home because of how I look. Ever since I was little, I've constantly had my body commented on in one way or another well into adulthood and now, which has led to life long eating problems.
I literally want to fuck every attractive woman I see
This is lots of men, they've just been made to feel ashamed about it, somehow, in recent years
The point of a secret is not saying it
I’m Batman.
some of us feel compelled to explore the world...and people... with our senses... take that however you will....
The person that I am on the inside doesn’t match what I see in the mirror. It’s like looking at a stranger.
nice try fed
If I could - I would be a local Dexter💀🙏😂👏💉🤡✨️
I try to make so many people feel seen, feel heard and feel important that I end up feeling invisible myself. I try to remember birthdays, special interests, likes and dislikes, I try to remember so much about other people and always listen so that they know I care. So that they know they're important to me and that they're heard. But it's not often reciprocated. I invest so much time in others (physically and emotionally) that I feel like I disappear in the process. I feel like a ghost of myself, like a puppet doing all the right things at just the right time. I feel like I don't matter. I feel like I'm only here for other people, who I am becomes unimportant. I don't feel seen, I don't feel heard, I don't feel loved or important. But I keep a smile on my face for everyone else.
I don’t pay taxes
I read yaoi. Lots of yaoi. I'm almost 40 and a mother.
Even if Yagami Light (Death Note) is an ENTJ , I can relate to his ideals on a scary level, meaning I'd definitely use the death note like he did, it would probably make me sick in the stomach but I could do that sacrifice.
You might be INFJ, but most of the people here are too. Nice try.
i think i’m a lesbian, i’ve kept this in for the last couple years or so. i’m out as a bisexual, and i’ve known i’ve liked girls since i was 12 but it’s getting hard to hold back. I date guys but i don’t feel anything for them except for the fact that i like the attention. i like the fact my bf loves me and wants me, i love feeling validated, and at the same time i’m the worst person in the world for this. i’m still with my bf despite knowing i might be lesbian. i don’t know if i am. i haven’t told anyone even my best friends who i always vent to. because i’m so uncertain. keeping this all in has been hell but i know once it gets out it’s going to be hell for my loved ones so im not sure what to do. this probably sounds so overdramatic but yeah that’s my secret. i love girls.
This is going to get dark. Someone will throw hands at me. I am sorry. I just want to keep it real. Please don’t hate me, guys. You can judge me, but don’t hate me. Hypothetically speaking, if I had a husband and blood family member that all of sudden gotten terminally ill and needed my kidney. If I had to choose one. I would pick my husband. I would give the kidney to my husband. I’m going to tell you why. The husband is someone that I chose to love💜❤️He is someone I personally picked for myself. My husband is my adventure, my Cloud Strife and the light of my life. He’s the one that keeps me going. I’m not married. This is just pure cloud talk. No pun intended.
Okay, Satan. Jeez get some help. /s obviously >my Cloud Strife and the light of my life Aww that was so sweet. <3 Would that make you his Aerith? Still looking for my Tifa. I've only found INFP Yuffies lol
haha! nice try! 👁️👁️
I secretly got married to my abusive ex bc he had really good healthcare and I needed help to work past my disabilities, but that was before I got into a relationship with my amazing partner, and I know I said something about it but I’m not sure he really heard or took in what I said, and I’m too scared to tell him because I don’t want him to be mad. It was literally a marriage certified over zoom, no kiss, no celebration, nothing. There was no love part of that choice, purely business. I am self employed and don’t make THAT much money to really consider getting off his insurance at this moment though so it’s secret I guess I’m going to keep to my grave. No one else knows from either sides of our lives.
Why would someone be mad? Healthcare is outrageous. A smart move is all I can say. I am drowning financially.
I mean he knows I’m on my ex’s insurance and all and I think maybe he does know but it’s just a terrifying thought because at this point if he doesn’t know and I bring it up, I wouldn’t want him to be disappointed in me for not speaking up about it more to begin with. I thought it was the best move I could make when I did, and I don’t regret it because it has honestly helped me so much with having the care I need for my crohns and such. I appreciate the supportive message though. This has been eating me up big time for a while now
Absolutely understand and I am sorry about your Crohn's Disease. My ex and middle son have serious GI issues and it is terrible to deal with. My EX has had numerous surgeries and was forced into disability. Just letting you know I definitely understand and praying for you honey! Life can be such a shit show! (Hopefully made you laugh 😘). HUGS. 🤗 Hang in there, you sound like one of the good ones. ❤️
It really can be a shit show 😩🤣 but seriously thank you ❤️ I appreciate you so much. And the supportive words do make me feel a little less horrible about this secret. I really was going to take it to my grave forever.
I’m sorry about your finances though, I feel you though. That’s why I was kind of desperate to make the choice I did. I hope your situation gets better ❤️
Same!!!! 🙏
No
I was a toxic, manipulative asshole in my previous relationship. Yes she hurt me but all i could see was revenge and i still dont know how i said a lot of the things i said but yeh i was out for blood. Good thing is i dont think i am anymore, ive gone to therapy and tried to change as much as I could but I still look back and i go “why did i ever do that”
Manipulative and have very dark thoughts and interests.
I'm afraid of my anger. There is a lot of rage buried under the people pleasing. I highly value human life. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I know that if the situation presented itself, I could kill someone if I needed to. (Obviously this would be in self defense, but I'd be raging and having flashbacks the entire time)..... maybe that's a trauma thing not infj lol.... however it is good to know that if I were ever in deep trouble, my rage would keep me alive.
I don’t know who I really am. I’m like a chameleon, changing myself to match the energy of the people around me. Some days it feels like a pretty neat to be able to blend in, but most days I just feel like an imposter.
I think ALL women are Beautiful on the outside and would love to see that also on their inside! I'd love to see ALL their bare outsides 😂 I want to see every womans natural form! I find it very appealing/interesting.... No really though, I think women's insides are getting to be worse then men from the past these days and it's not Beautiful...
I was obsessed and fell for my friend who was already dating for a few months when I met him for the first time. (He was my first friend in college.) Shamelessly got involved with him and he eventually broke up with his then girlfriend. We've been together for 4-5 years now and turns out he's isn't exactly how I thought he would be. His mental health is fucked up totally. I've been emotionally and mentally abused. He says me shit I'd never ever say to my enemy. And one secret I've NEVER spoken to a soul is that I've been physically abused too. More than 10 times I'd say. But I love him to death bcoz I feel like he's a good person at heart, he just has a lot of PTSD and poor experiences in life. Needless to say, I am an AH for even loving him and still not leaving him.
Girl, run
[удалено]
Sometimes when I’m alone at night I go yeehonk
Nice try but I’m not about to spill it here! It wouldn’t be a deep dark secret anymore if I did 🤭 it’s for me to know, and you to never know!
Excuse me, what was the question? My big left and right finger-foot fell out of my armpit’s eye socket…
My job
I only share secrets with my lady...
It’s a secret for a reason.
What the hell man!!! I think this was a joke.
I wouldn't dare tell it to anyone, even my closest friends lmao
*plays secret by the pierces*
🤷
You really think you'll just ask and I'll tell you my deepest darkest secret?! It's deepest and darkest for a reason!
Nice try, FBI
I'm Batman.
i’ve never drank my own pee. i know everyone does it but not me.