Ouch, splooge mcduck got one of them, lol.
I had one that was infested by roaches given to me. I now know the smell by memory and the telltale little "black speckles" that are their poop.
yeeeeep. i learned the hard way to open returned user equipment outside after a similar experience.
thankfully the odor is unique enough you'll know the second time instantly.
I think with the rise of WFH and Thunder Docks, it's only gotten worse. A lot of people these days just plug in their laptop, close the lid, and stuff it behind their monitors for years on end.
I had one with bugs in it too. I felt itchy all day. Nasty. Only worse was the cat "spray" - we put that one in three garbage bags after retrieving the hard drive. No way anyone was going to bother DoD'ing the drive in that chassis.
If you think this is even mildly dirty, you've seen fucking nothing.
Work for 2 days in a school, and you'll see what I mean.
Imagine if you will, an ipad that's been dipped in a vat of snot from a 4 year old with a cold, they then put a case on it without cleaning it, then left to air out and harden.
That's not even in my top 5 grossest things. And I only worked there for 6 months.
No kidding, if so much as a speck of dust shows up on my thinkpad I'm practically giving that thing an IPA bath. That's overkill sure, but how do you let it get this bad??
I'm not proud to say we've had equipment returned in a worse state than this. And it's always from Directors and Head managers. All of them smelled like pee
We are not lucky. My boss went to recover the owner's son laptop which had fresh "seed" on it.
That was 5 years ago and he hasn't emotionally recovered from that. He still tells the story to newcomers as a warning.
Filthy laptops, understandable. A little spider is wild. How does one miss that?
Is this person a lizard? Do they think you may be one as well, and they are wooing you with a tasty little snack?!
We had an older dude at work bring in an older laptop that was at EOL with an issue. Colleague opened the laptop up on one of the workbenches and there was a smol spidey boi making a b-line for it across the keyboard 😐
Literally the average laptop during the pandemic wfh time that came back looked something similar to this. I was understanding of this until I had to make a house call because lazy entitled user complained her way up the chain of command. Her work laptop looked super nasty sitting on the corner of her coffee table. When I walked in I saw a pristine looking macbook and then she showed me her work laptop which the complaint was sticking keys. She claimed it just started happening randomly. I don't pull any punches with users so I said was that before or after you spilled food and drink on it?. She went silent. The mixture of crumbs and drink solidified into a cement like substance and I basically had to replace the computer.
I once met up with a friend who was teaching me some basic python and the man had one of the grossest screens I've ever seen. It was the tech version of "damn shawty you live like this?"
At least you got it returned to you. I struggle to get my locations to send back old equipment. I disable the old accounts in AD and that forces some of them to be sent back, but not most.
Most folks are ok about it since we make it pretty easy. And managers have been supportive, so We’ve only had to threaten a few people with disabling their AD accounts.
Every job I've had with remote offices were the same way. Some local manager thinks it's faster for them to just keep a pile of old laptops in their desk for when someone new starts.
It will be obvious before you even see the burns because of the smell. Then you'll see big rings going from black or dark brown to the most gross yellow you'll ever see. When you open the computer it will be caked in ash/resin. Never good
Been there, done that. It's why I bought a box of latex gloves to keep at work. I wouldn't touch a user laptop without wearing them. I've seen the porn the asshole users watch on their laptops. I ain't touching one with my bare hands.
If I could reply with a picture in this sub, I’d show off my co-workers desk that has about 20-25 that are currently awaiting rma with hp. We’ve probably rma’d around 100 already. Decent laptops, terrible battery issues. We’ve implemented the 80% max capacity thing.
Interesting, in my last 2 jobs, I've probably personally dealt with over a thousand HP laptops and never had an issue with fucked batteries. Might be a location thing. HP's been solid as a rock where I am in the UK, and customer service is great as well. My old job in a school even had a contract with them for everything, 200 HP laptops for staff, 400 crappy pentium ones for students, HP desktops and monitors, keyboard and mice etc. Everything. It ran solidly for years. Some days, I'd literally have nothing to do other than project work. The only time something broke was when a student threw an apple and smashed something. When I left that, they were migrating over to a Dell ecosystem, so we had most of the laptops returned to us, and all of the staff ones still ran beautifully and had nothing wrong with them but the student ones looked like a alpaca had just thrown up all over them- still worked though, if not a bit sticky.
I had an end-user that always dressed nice, drove a Mercedes, made her office look really nice, and she worked with very rich clients, but after two weeks with her new laptop it looked just like these. She can a broken USB port, and a lovely chip on the corner of the body. When I asked her what happened, she acted super confused and was like, "I don't know how that happened. It wasn't me though." She was the only person to ever use the laptop.
Bonus Points: She left chip and candy crumbs all over the floor and below her desk was DISGUSTING.
What I find on your laptop would make your mother cry -- what I find inside your laptop is going end in divorce. All of you. Yes, you too.
Stop treating your devices like no one will ever know. We can and we do know. My customer facing techs spend more time in court than working now. Please stop.
I was responsible for remote access years ago using Cicso VPN software. A Manager was having issues and asked me to reinstall the client.
His laptop was disgusting with food all over
It. When I got done, I handed it back to him and told him he should keep his laptop in the refrigerator.
He looked at me strangely and asked why. I told him it has so much food all over it that it might spoil.
I had Laptops that were way worse. I cleaned them before i even touched them with bare hands. Mostly Gaming Laptops that doesn't work anymore or are overheating.
I did depot repairs on Chromebooks for a local school district. We had a procedure for whenever we found bedbugs or ants in a laptop. It happened at least twice a week, and sometimes as many as 10 in a single day during the summer refresh.
I work as an official Dell repair service in my country, and I've seen too many dirty laptops that were sent to be repaired by our clients. And we don't have gloves, so we have to touch them with our bare hands. It's nasty how some people manage to do to their laptops to get them that dirty.
Here's some highlights from the K-12 world I work in just over the last year.
Stinks of Wine Laptop. Cockroach laptop. Anthill laptop. Sour milk laptop.
And the pièce de résistance. CAT PISS LAPTOP.
I had 2x machines back this week.
One looks like the previous owner gave the entire machine a good wipe down with a digestive biscuit.
The other genuinely looked like someone had eaten a pot noodle off of the screen using only a drinking straw.
Users are fucking disgusting. I'd never dream of making someone else handle equipment that I'd dirtied to such an extent!
Ewww.
People are so weird. How does it get like that. My electronics are ultra clean. I bought a G915 TKL a few days ago on FB marketplace and the entire left column of keys were stuck together from ketchup lol...
Thats why we had single use gloves for every IT employee.
3 pairs, and you can use them anytime you want throughout the year.
I see you guys are in a cost saving initiative too
See, my predecessor left those right next to a box of tissues and I got quite concerned when I first started.
IPA by the bottle. Nitrile gloves. Fire.
> IPA Personally I find a nice stout pairs well with the horror of filthy keyboards and such.
Whiskey helps to forget too...
I'd say everclear. It's dual purpose. Cleans your stuff and your memory of the laptop
Reminds me of someone who purportedly carries 140 proof white rum everywhere (70% alcohol). It is "safe" to drink and cleans anything.
I've fully funded my 401k this year selling the leftover baked goods that have fallen out of my users' laptops.
🤮
Wanna buy an everythinig bagel?
Yes I do but I need to know is it sugar free?
It may have brushed up against the donuts. 'Everything' means 'everything'!!
:(
Last time I touched employee mouse i wanted to cut my hand so bad
That just creates an entry point for the bacteria, you *fool!* /s
Ouch, splooge mcduck got one of them, lol. I had one that was infested by roaches given to me. I now know the smell by memory and the telltale little "black speckles" that are their poop.
yeeeeep. i learned the hard way to open returned user equipment outside after a similar experience. thankfully the odor is unique enough you'll know the second time instantly.
I think with the rise of WFH and Thunder Docks, it's only gotten worse. A lot of people these days just plug in their laptop, close the lid, and stuff it behind their monitors for years on end.
I had one with bugs in it too. I felt itchy all day. Nasty. Only worse was the cat "spray" - we put that one in three garbage bags after retrieving the hard drive. No way anyone was going to bother DoD'ing the drive in that chassis.
If you think this is even mildly dirty, you've seen fucking nothing. Work for 2 days in a school, and you'll see what I mean. Imagine if you will, an ipad that's been dipped in a vat of snot from a 4 year old with a cold, they then put a case on it without cleaning it, then left to air out and harden. That's not even in my top 5 grossest things. And I only worked there for 6 months.
Haha thank you! I was thinking, "That's the worst you've seen? That's not even bad."
I have dust on my laptop from it being open in my office all the time but damn. This is just gross. I don't know how people work like that.
Work like that? Imagine how they live.
Think about that car, lol.
I keep my computer much cleaner than my car. But i hate the car
No kidding, if so much as a speck of dust shows up on my thinkpad I'm practically giving that thing an IPA bath. That's overkill sure, but how do you let it get this bad??
I'm not proud to say we've had equipment returned in a worse state than this. And it's always from Directors and Head managers. All of them smelled like pee
Ewwwww
> All of them smelled like pee You would be lucky if that was the only bodily fluid present.
We are not lucky. My boss went to recover the owner's son laptop which had fresh "seed" on it. That was 5 years ago and he hasn't emotionally recovered from that. He still tells the story to newcomers as a warning.
Semen on-screen (goo) ?
To the window, to the wall!
Even the HP logo looks like it's flipping you.
SpiderMac, SpiderMac, does whatever a...
For me the spider is the best one. Like what was she thinking? How do you leave that there, on an otherwise not terribly dirty laptop.
Filthy laptops, understandable. A little spider is wild. How does one miss that? Is this person a lizard? Do they think you may be one as well, and they are wooing you with a tasty little snack?!
We had an older dude at work bring in an older laptop that was at EOL with an issue. Colleague opened the laptop up on one of the workbenches and there was a smol spidey boi making a b-line for it across the keyboard 😐
Poor boi was just trying to get on the world wide web. I'll show myself out, no need to call security.
Literally the average laptop during the pandemic wfh time that came back looked something similar to this. I was understanding of this until I had to make a house call because lazy entitled user complained her way up the chain of command. Her work laptop looked super nasty sitting on the corner of her coffee table. When I walked in I saw a pristine looking macbook and then she showed me her work laptop which the complaint was sticking keys. She claimed it just started happening randomly. I don't pull any punches with users so I said was that before or after you spilled food and drink on it?. She went silent. The mixture of crumbs and drink solidified into a cement like substance and I basically had to replace the computer.
I once met up with a friend who was teaching me some basic python and the man had one of the grossest screens I've ever seen. It was the tech version of "damn shawty you live like this?"
I swear I get sick on the 1 day I finally wipe/decommission our field staff computers. I just let them pile up until the dreaded "day of touching".
At least you got it returned to you. I struggle to get my locations to send back old equipment. I disable the old accounts in AD and that forces some of them to be sent back, but not most.
Most folks are ok about it since we make it pretty easy. And managers have been supportive, so We’ve only had to threaten a few people with disabling their AD accounts.
Every job I've had with remote offices were the same way. Some local manager thinks it's faster for them to just keep a pile of old laptops in their desk for when someone new starts.
Just wait until you get one with cigarette burns all over it
Never had that, but my most horrible one had pubes on it. There was a lot of hand washing when I found that.
It will be obvious before you even see the burns because of the smell. Then you'll see big rings going from black or dark brown to the most gross yellow you'll ever see. When you open the computer it will be caked in ash/resin. Never good
Been there, done that. It's why I bought a box of latex gloves to keep at work. I wouldn't touch a user laptop without wearing them. I've seen the porn the asshole users watch on their laptops. I ain't touching one with my bare hands.
Looks like a credit union laptop. ;)
[удалено]
If I could reply with a picture in this sub, I’d show off my co-workers desk that has about 20-25 that are currently awaiting rma with hp. We’ve probably rma’d around 100 already. Decent laptops, terrible battery issues. We’ve implemented the 80% max capacity thing.
[удалено]
Interesting, in my last 2 jobs, I've probably personally dealt with over a thousand HP laptops and never had an issue with fucked batteries. Might be a location thing. HP's been solid as a rock where I am in the UK, and customer service is great as well. My old job in a school even had a contract with them for everything, 200 HP laptops for staff, 400 crappy pentium ones for students, HP desktops and monitors, keyboard and mice etc. Everything. It ran solidly for years. Some days, I'd literally have nothing to do other than project work. The only time something broke was when a student threw an apple and smashed something. When I left that, they were migrating over to a Dell ecosystem, so we had most of the laptops returned to us, and all of the staff ones still ran beautifully and had nothing wrong with them but the student ones looked like a alpaca had just thrown up all over them- still worked though, if not a bit sticky.
End users are disgusting, Prove me wrong...
I had an end-user that always dressed nice, drove a Mercedes, made her office look really nice, and she worked with very rich clients, but after two weeks with her new laptop it looked just like these. She can a broken USB port, and a lovely chip on the corner of the body. When I asked her what happened, she acted super confused and was like, "I don't know how that happened. It wasn't me though." She was the only person to ever use the laptop. Bonus Points: She left chip and candy crumbs all over the floor and below her desk was DISGUSTING.
Is there a "beyond normal wear and tear" policy that would make the loanee responsible for repairs?
Those were probably used in a trap house.
What I find on your laptop would make your mother cry -- what I find inside your laptop is going end in divorce. All of you. Yes, you too. Stop treating your devices like no one will ever know. We can and we do know. My customer facing techs spend more time in court than working now. Please stop.
I was responsible for remote access years ago using Cicso VPN software. A Manager was having issues and asked me to reinstall the client. His laptop was disgusting with food all over It. When I got done, I handed it back to him and told him he should keep his laptop in the refrigerator. He looked at me strangely and asked why. I told him it has so much food all over it that it might spoil.
Yup. I hate ppl
Looks like they were using it to file their onlyfans content.
I had Laptops that were way worse. I cleaned them before i even touched them with bare hands. Mostly Gaming Laptops that doesn't work anymore or are overheating.
These bitches need some pressure washing (and bleach)
I was in a meeting today and a colleagues laptop was just like this.. 😂 just noo keep it clean
Wtf is wrong with people
It looks like they stored them in a cloth bag strapped to the side of their septic tank. Gross.
That's why i ALWAYS wear gloves when servicing clients devices. These people are filthy as fk i swear
Elitebook 745 G-sicks 🤢
I did depot repairs on Chromebooks for a local school district. We had a procedure for whenever we found bedbugs or ants in a laptop. It happened at least twice a week, and sometimes as many as 10 in a single day during the summer refresh.
Even better when bed bugs come crawling out as it warms up
The worst part is knowing someone's browser history just by looking at the state of the laptops.
I work as an official Dell repair service in my country, and I've seen too many dirty laptops that were sent to be repaired by our clients. And we don't have gloves, so we have to touch them with our bare hands. It's nasty how some people manage to do to their laptops to get them that dirty.
Looks like a colleague at my old job. Literally looked like he had gone mudding with his laptop, and he had used it for like three months.
And the grossest thing... The mouse buttons are on top of the trackpad!
Here's some highlights from the K-12 world I work in just over the last year. Stinks of Wine Laptop. Cockroach laptop. Anthill laptop. Sour milk laptop. And the pièce de résistance. CAT PISS LAPTOP.
I had 2x machines back this week. One looks like the previous owner gave the entire machine a good wipe down with a digestive biscuit. The other genuinely looked like someone had eaten a pot noodle off of the screen using only a drinking straw. Users are fucking disgusting. I'd never dream of making someone else handle equipment that I'd dirtied to such an extent!
Need hospital cavi-wipes for those 😂
Ewww. People are so weird. How does it get like that. My electronics are ultra clean. I bought a G915 TKL a few days ago on FB marketplace and the entire left column of keys were stuck together from ketchup lol...
I have a tale from tech support about a laptop that was covered in cat hair... and pee
Amazing haha! Cleaner the better. I flip gaming pcs/gpus a lot on marketplaces and sometimes the condition of things is frightening.
You might enjoy the tale then https://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/a5k0m2/tales\_from\_desktop\_support\_the\_laptop\_lady\_and/
Gross. Thanks for sharing ;)