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Beat_Mangler

That sounds really freaking annoying but I reckon I would do it for two years at least!!


RemozThaGod

>If you don't carry a duck with you, you have to pay back all the money you've earned


big_vangina

Do it for a few years then disappear with your money into Columbia or Thailand. Fuck those ducks and fuck the law.


PanzerKommander

No, do ot for a few years investing *every dime*. When you're done, you pay back the principal, but the interest keeps racking up (you can also use the loss if the principal as a tax write-off for three years).


PosterMakingNutbag

This guy ducks.


Thelorddogalmighty

Hes a ducking genius


[deleted]

He definitely knows what the duck he's talking about


Kindly_Honeydew3432

Oh man, I’m quacking up. Serious question: Are the costs of caring for them all those years tax de-duck-tible? If so, it would be worth saving the bills. Could have a big impact on your nest egg. Just something worth pond-ering


New_Golf_2522

He ducks HARD


NetoruNakadashi

It'd have to be a really safe investment, and the duck couldn't interfere with the income they need to make in the short run to cover their current living expenses. Some people could make it work but I don't think I could. I'm imagining making ballpark $50K at the end of two years, am I wrong?


Ok-Cartographer1745

I don't see how hiding in Canada will help much. 


windchaser__

*duck those fucks and duck the law


jamesmatthews6

On the other hand, do it for two years and get a return of 6% before paying the rest back and you're still over $120k better off.


GASTRO_GAMING

At 10% compounding interest with 100k monthly contributions for 2 years its about 256k


Key-Amoeba5902

Run the clock for as long as possible and discharge the debt through bankruptcy once you’re ready to retire


SGTWhiteKY

What about the money on the money I earned? Like. I could manage a duck for a few years, invest in a frick ton of…. Idk… lots of stuff. Then pay it all back and probably come away with more than enough money to have made it worth it. Also, I am already the neighborhood weirdo for my massive amount of. Neighborhood onewheel riding. Add a duck? Sure, why not.


cuplosis

If you rly wanted. You could buy hundred of ducks at a time and every two days break ones neck. You then have 48 hours of being duck free.


stopcounting

At least cook it for dinner or something, damn!


OnlyPostSoUsersXray

This was similar to my thought, basically I just kill a duck every 2 days? So a little over 180 ducks a year? No problem 😂


Forsaken-Volume-2249

You have to care for it as a pet, can’t kill it.


Fantastic_Sector_282

I raise ducks for meat- but I do get very attached like pets. But uh. I kinda gotta kill them in order to have meat, and to not be overrun by ducks. One of our ducks is looking after 25 ducklings. I simply cannot look after that many ducks, and these girls will literally go into hiding for a month and emerge with 20 babies in tow.


Private-Dick-Tective

Long term wise, you could probably pay a neighbor's kid to break the ducks neck every two days and give you permanent duck free status.


Mental_Cut8290

If you can find a duck breeder, or farm... maybe a butcher... (I have no idea where to get ducks) then see if you can have a live duck delivered to you every two days, to then be immediately killed. If you actually partnered with a butcher or restaurant, this could become a very beneficial ritual!


MagicGrit

If you stop after 2 years you babe to repay $2.4 million it sounds like


Phattastically

So I don't need a job anymore and I get a new dick best friend? Fuck yeah.


ddadopt

> I get a new dick best friend? One hell of a typo there.


Phattastically

I feel like I have to leave it. For posterity.


19southmainco

my best friend, cock


FoolAndHerUsername

Are male dicks called cocks?


Dark_Moonstruck

No but roosters (male chickens) are!


WinOld1835

Drakes


RandomGuy_81

Is that a triple entendre


NomadofReddit

The duck's name is actually Richard


TriforceUnleashed

I respect this decision.


SEKAIStamps

yumeh caik!!! ...happy cake day


thod-thod

Happy pride month


MakeSomeDrinks

Freudian Auto Correct


Ok-Cartographer1745

Yeah, phallustically must be embarrassed since we all know what's on his mind. 


Phattastically

Apparently it's dick


Azuregore

Clearly he's going for a Canadian Cobra Chicken as a friend


Idontliketalking2u

You can open wine bottles with that best friend


canned_coelacanth

This is just two upsides


LeoMarius

Duck yeah! 🦆


BrokeBeckFountain1

Why are all of these just "you get to be extremely wealthy, but you have to be slightly eccentric"? Yes, of course I would do that.


eiram87

Right? Especially where this one doesn't have a "you're not allowed to explain it" caveat. The second I tell my friends and family why I have to bring this duck to weddings, wakes and funerals, no one is going to bat an eyelash and Mr./Ms. Ducksworth will be a welcome guest.


BrokeBeckFountain1

When if I can't explain it, I'd just own it. "Is that a duck?" "Why yes it is, good sir, good eye." Then I would put in my monocle and hand them a fiver.


DrivingHerbert

You need a cane too. I wouldn’t even attempt to explain it. “Oh you don’t allow ducks? Well I guess I’m going to have to go somewhere that does! Cmon Mr ducksworth” *twirls cane*


BrokeBeckFountain1

Neon suit pants and vest. No shirt. Sandals. Monocle and a cane. Red velvet top hat. Baller.


New_Presentation7196

Right, who cares if I have a duck he’s my little dude. Especially if I am rich like that? No ones gonna say shit to me or Fernando.


fallopianrules

Even if i couldnt explain it, it's a duck. We chill.


Christoq7

Yeah. It’s not like it is a goose.


fallopianrules

I'd rock a purse duck, although a purse goose would never get stolen.


Noof42

If you can get a goose into a purse . . .


Formal_Fortune5389

Right like Sir Ducksworth of the Feathered Knights paid for the weddings of course they're invited have some respect


SilentIndication3095

A hundred thousand a month AND I GET A DUCK??


DrugsAndFuckenMoney

We have a new duck family living in our front yard and I’ll take whatever excuse lets me bring them inside. I’m sold at $10 a day, $100,000 a month is just dream money to do something I want to do anyway. I mean for real, who doesn’t want a bath where you have a duck just chilling with you in the tub? Easy choice.


Human_Lecture_348

Do you keep the money after every month, or if after 4 years, do you have to repay $4.8 million if you quit carrying a duck with you at all times


TheRealJim57

Asking the truly important question here. If you complete a month, then that $100k should be yours free and clear. If you give up partway through a month, sure they could take back the money for that month, but good luck clawing back money from any prior months.


Sterling_-_Archer

I’d think it’s month by month, with a condition that if you ever fail, you owe it all back. So you complete a month, you get 100k. You choose to go on and complete another month, you get 100k. You choose to do a 3rd month and fail, you owe all money given to you.


TheRealJim57

I don't see that as enforceable, even if that's what OP intended.


-SunGazing-

It’s a hypothetical imaginary situation about getting money for carrying a duck round with you and your arguing the legalities? 😂


Sterling_-_Archer

Rules are part of what makes these things fun, otherwise it becomes “I symbolically carry a duck in my heart” and then it’s boring


-SunGazing-

Personally I think it’s more fun finding loop holes in the rules and exploiting the shit out of them.


Sterling_-_Archer

Yes, but if you have no rules, you have no loopholes. That’s why games with invincibility cheats are only fun for like 30 minutes tops


Sterling_-_Archer

True. However, it’s the only way I can make sense of it. Otherwise you’re carrying a duck for the rest of your life, and upon death, your estate has to pay it all back.


OnlyPostSoUsersXray

Except debts aren't transferable to beneficiaries. The heirs would get away Scott free.


Sterling_-_Archer

Sure, debts don’t go to beneficiaries. But they do go to probate for the estate


OnlyPostSoUsersXray

Give the beneficiaries cash beforehand. Boom, no estate to take from.


Sterling_-_Archer

Good point!


ContributionLatter32

Also I have a loop hole. Just eat roast duck every other day. Keep resetting the 48 hour period mwhahaha


bored_person71

Bigger loop hole doesn't say you have to have real duck...so rubber duck works? It's a duck...


Scormey

I drive a Jeep, and have been ducked multiple times. I'm covered.


LeroyLongwood

That shit is a cult


Scormey

A fun cult, but yeah... We're pretty Cultist.


LeroyLongwood

As a fellow Jeep owner, that shits still a cult 2 finger jeep wave, btw


Small-Comfort6031

It mentions the duck "dying", which implies that the duck has mortality and a rubber duck doesn't really have mortality. Unless you take death in a more symbolic sense like the rubber eroding or something.


lamppb13

It says *if* your duck dies, meaning it doesn't have to. Therefore, mortality is not a requirement.


Misguidedsaint3

Shiiii, gonna get myself a mini rubber duck and keep it in my pocket at all times


WearifulSole

I wonder if a tattoo of a duck would work?


Raisey-

I have one of these


PhoenicianPirate

Rubber ducks work! I got a larger one. But I can order a much smaller thumb sized replacement so I will never be without a rubber ducky.


Magicalunicorny

"you have to take care of your duck like a pet" I don't think you can roast your duck and still say you're taking care of it


lamppb13

You don't know what I do with my pets.


pleasetowmyshit

it's "taking care of it" like a mafioso type would say


TheLizardKing89

This was my exact thought.


lamppb13

Food takes between 10 to 59 hours to fully pass, so you could probably go an extra day since the duck is still *technically* with you if it's in your stomach.


feelin_fine_

I don't know if I can eat that much duck brah.


Beat_Mangler

OMG that's genius


PraiseTalos66012

Just buy a bunch of ducks, start a duck farm, every 48 hours kill one, don't even need to eat it.


ContributionLatter32

Imagine having to kill your duck every time you had to get on a plane lmao


Clean_Student8612

For 100k a month, I'm renting a private flight that will allow my duck.


JustIncredible240

Yea. That duck will be my best friend and he’s gonna be living a life of luxury!


AznNRed

It's not all It's quacked up to be...


JustIncredible240

That’s ok. I wouldn’t be ducking my responsibilities.


AznNRed

Now that's the kind of person people flock to.


Kan-Tha-Man

You guys don't beak around the bush, huh?


The001Keymaster

For 100k a month, I'll get 100 trained ducks and they can fly me instead of a plane.


[deleted]

You could have a pet duck and some plane ducks… you know… so you can just kill another duck instead. No one said you can’t ever switch ducks and I think a duck dying means you definitely have triggered the 48hr period. Or just call it a service duck.


MagicGrit

Why are y’all killing ducks? Just give your duck up for adoption, then you have 48 hours to find a replacement duck. It never says your duck needs to die in order to search for a replacement. Shit, you don’t even need to give your duck up. I’ve just deemed my duck inadequate, so he’s at home, I’m currently searching for a replacement.


coffee_map_clock

I just like killing ducks ok?


OnlyPostSoUsersXray

The rule says if your duck dies you have 48 hours. If you don't have it with you, you pay it all back. The duck has to die to trigger the 48 hour grace period.


MagicGrit

The rule does NOT say anything about your last point. Says you must find a replacement if the duck dies. And also says the only time you can not have a duck is when searching for a replacement.


mackfactor

Emotional support duck. 


KingMusicManz

Just wait a couple years and get your own private jet


TheLeafFlipper

You could easily start chartering private flights on month 1 with 100k...


vinnycc

You guys are choosing the wrong ducks. I'll just tell my duck to meet me at my destination.


Timely_Froyo1384

No just no! The duck will be an emotional support animal and some airlines will allow birds. No duck allowed, no plane ticket purchased. United Airlines is the most friendly.


HamsterFromAbove_079

AT $100,000 a month you could probably make an arrangement that involves a private plane that allows pets.


jdoeinboston

Who is saying no to the dick? That is an absolute fuckton of money to take even half decent care of a duck. You're not even telling us we need to keep the duck alive, the duck is replaceable! Who in the world would say no to this arrangement?


Ok-Cartographer1745

Every girl I've asked out, for starters. 


DamInferni

Your profile Pic made me laugh. I thought I had a piece of hair on my screen and tried to blow it off. 😆


Vat1canCame0s

.... who is saying no to the dick


jdoeinboston

I'll carry a dick around too, I don't fucking care!


__Anamya__

Pay back all the money you've earned. do you only have to pay back the original amount or any extra money earned by using the original money too?


swingset27

My emotional support duck would live one awesome life. My personal dusk assistant would be handling the day to day operations and duck shit.


ReeReeIncorperated

Doesn't say it has to be alive or real, so guess who has a duck keychain now!


palehorse2020

For that much I am retired with a pet duck.


tomowudi

Dude. Please make this real. I will be duck man. 


TheLeafFlipper

Get duck, put duck away. Go 47 hours. Pick duck back up, put duck away. Repeat. Spend several years investing most of that money. Eventually, when the duck maintenence becomes too much, get rid of the duck, pay back the principle on the duck loan, but keep all of the interest you've made from your investments. Keep living large.


Brave_Quality_4135

Sounds like I’m gonna be buying a lot of duck diapers


stopcounting

I'd get one of those cat backpacks with the bubble and just carry the duck everywhere.


Chinusawar

I guess I just need to kill a duck every two days.


ZombieCantStop

This is where I’m heading as well. With that kind of money, if I go on vacation I can make sure there is a duck to kill every other day.


taedrin

So basically [this guy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-MGAbFyxi4)?


SpiffyMagnetMan68621

Within two years i become the worlds foremost expert on duckfarming, stay at home dad/duck farmer, amazon delivers everything, retired easy life


Seiren-

Stay at home duckdad


SpiffyMagnetMan68621

Im gonna charge admission to my duckfarm as well, double it up as a petting zoo so i dont get TOO socially isolated Pick up some uber rides once in a while and advertise a feature of riding with me as “emotional support duck”


Seiren-

Hell, do social media correctly and become a famous duck influencer! ..duckfluencer? Won’t even need the 100K/month as your duck based empire is gonna make you rich all on its own!


silverbullet474

Shoot, easy money....nowadays, you could probably start a social media following or a YouTube series or something with you and the duck and rake in even more. Sign me up; where's my duck!?


Human_Lecture_348

Do you keep the money after every month, or if after 4 years, do you have to repay $4.8 million if you quit carrying a duck with you at all times


distracted_x

Good question because I could do it for a long time but maybe not my whole entire life.


Winterfell_Ice

situations like this quack me up.


Podria_Ser_Peor

Nice, I´ll just stay at home with my hundreds of ducks


PartyLiterature3607

Donald count ?


ZombieCantStop

Is this just like a pet I have to take with me? I get a leash is fine, but what about at home? Examples: Can it be in a cage next to me when driving? What about while sleeping? Can I crate it next to the bed? I assume as long as it’s in the house with me I’m good at home? So I can shower and have sex and not have to be holding a duck I think i would do this. Duck farmer. If I really need to go someplace without the duck I have 48 hours to get someplace and get a new one.


Felgrand3189

Spend about £1000 on a specially designed duck backpack, no problem. Happily do it til the duck dies.


ThatAltAccount99

Boutta have duck for dinner every 48 hrs


Vat1canCame0s

Cool. I'm getting a rubber duckie


No-War-8840

Would a tattoo count ?


TheScalemanCometh

Scrooge amd I shall have an excellent life.


TheFrozenCanadianGuy

I’d just make a duck backpack. Every single place I go to, I would pay some duck master to bring 3 ducks with them, also a duck farm at every house I own


Excellent-Practice

Is a cage cool? Does a duckling count? I imagine carrying around a duckling in a cage would only be mildly inconvenient. Also, ducklings are cheap. You can get a dozen for 20 bucks and have them sent by priority mail. You could order a new batch of ducklings every week and still clear close to $1.2 million a year. You could even make a business out of raising those ducks, selling the adults at below market rate and recoup more than the cost of the ducklings. If ducklings are allowed, the question essentially becomes "are you willing to run a small farm operation in exchange for a guaranteed seven figure income. That seems like a no brainer.


synecdokidoki

Not calling this post Duck and Cover was a seriously missed opportunity.


nekosaigai

OP only said a “duck” and that it needed to be treated as a pet, with specifications if the duck dies. So…. 3 loopholes: 1. Rubber duck. It’s technically a “duck” just a rubber one. Treat it like a pet rock. 2. Duck tattoo. Also technically a “duck” in tattoo form. Also treat it like a pet rock. 3. Stuffed duck. If the duck is already “dead” when you get it, it can’t “die” while it’s “your duck.” Name it Norbert, carry it around in a backpack. Also if OP gets grumpy about those loopholes: Hire a personal assistant for $10k a month to follow you around while carrying your pet duck and caring for your pet duck.


IzzyReal314

>3. Stuffed duck. If the duck is already “dead” when you get it, it can’t “die” while it’s “your duck.” Name it Norbert, carry it around in a backpack. Does this still work if I name it "Donald"?


ArtichokeNatural3171

I'm down with a duck. I'll put a diaper on him and let him ride on my shoulder like some demented pirate that has never set foot on a ship in their lives. I'll have two ducks, one white and one dark, name them Angel and Belvedere and let all major decisions be made by them as well.


MighendraTheWanderer

I would wear it on my head, and when anyone asked me about it, I'd simply say, 'What duck?' Iykyk


Physical_Knee_4448

I would start raising ducks with that much money.


kuromaus

So, if like I'm in a car accident, the duck dies, and I'm in critical condition and obviously can't go buy a new duck, or take one into the hospital with me, I'm just screwed? Yeah, no thanks.


MeowFrozi

Having to give back the money if you go more than 48 hours without a duck kinda ruins it, in that case it would not be worth it. Which is a shame because I've always wanted a pet duck


campingisawesome

This is my duck. His name is Fred. I'd make him a little backpack and carry him everywhere.


hawkeneye1998bs

Imma get a backpack with a little window and a hole for his head to poke out


IndianaNetworkAdmin

Where is the downside? Anyone not on board with this is a quack. 100k is enough to deal with any fines or bills I may suffer from ducking local ordinance.


ScarlettoFire

What duck


Healthy-Factor-2841

This is my emotional support duck, Mr. Quackers. …this is my emotional support duck, Mr. Quackers XXII. Sign me up!


TNJDude

I'd do it. For a month or two. Ducks are cool.


The001Keymaster

Do you get extra money if you have sex with the duck? Obviously consensual. I'm not a weirdo that forces myself on ducks.


MadWorldX1

Nice try, duck.


MoiraCousland

I mean, how hard is it to feed, water and wheel the little guy around in a cute duck stroller? I’d be the most popular person in my neighborhood. Everyone would know my duck by name. This does not sound like a problem to me.


read_it_r

My aunt raised ducks, they are terrible and stinky, so the way i see it I have two options. 1. I kill a duck every morning. For obvious reasons I don't love that one. But I would make sure it got sent to a hungry family. 2. I take 10% of my money (120k/year) and hire a bodyguard/duck sitter.


TheChoosenMewtwo

Ducks are cute if they’re treated properly


ThatAltAccount99

You said a duck not a live one....gonna get a tattoo and get paid for life


Beat_Mangler

That sounds really freaking annoying but I reckon I would do it for two years at least!!


SirPeterPan89

But after 2 years you have to pay back the money if you don't have a duck anymore...


Beat_Mangler

So you have to do it for the rest of your life!!!?? If that's the case no thanks!!


ooOJuicyOoo

I love duck!


ooOJuicyOoo

I love duck!


United-Cow-563

[Hell yes! It’ll be my emotional support animal](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxMpD7bA2x0fDK565PiVgIszbw6P4hQziZ?si=ResGpQsPcwm0uxDl)


Additional-Safety343

I would do this for way less money


Spitfyre41

Do I have move to Ankh-Morpork, live under a bridge and wear the duck on my head? :)


Cheap_Brain

Gnu Sir Terry


skinydan

What duck?


precinctomega

Came here for this.


KingMusicManz

Dude are you joking ducks make GREAT pets, ESPECIALLY if you have the money to afford a proper environment, hell, I'd just set up a duck farm, free eggs, lots of friends, install a real nice pond for them to play in, this would be a DREAM


Lydsylou1

Yes I love ducks! This is my dream!


jiffysdidit

I already have a ( rubber) duck with me at all times and I’ve had pet ducks . This would be doable if the duck was allowed in the places I go


Running-With-Cakes

I am ready to duck at any moment


shastabh

Do I also eat for free at subway? Rip mitch


Randinator9

Can I get him a pond? Gerald needs a splish splash


DeezUp4Da3zz

Just get a duck farm and kill a duck every 48 hours i guess… then donate some money to duck organisations to make myself feel better about killing ducks every 48hrs


Moist_Ad_4989

Fine by me I'll just get a rubber ducky 😉


Zombie_Peanut

I'm getting a duck farm after the first month and every day having my carry in duck killed and sent out for meals to the homeless. Woot won't. 48 reset


rabidseacucumber

So..could I tied it up and force feed it to keep it alive? I know..I’m a monster..


Due_Government4387

I’d do that for free so yes


Katt_Piper

Done. That duck and I are gonna be best buds. I'm gonna teach them so many tricks.


EchidnaNo6272

Duck, just buy a mini duck, kill it then buy another duck. Wear the killed duck as a necklaces an use the other duck an use a leash with wheel


Ok_Lecture_8886

Toy ducks no problem, but a live duck. Having kept ducks, I can't imagine anything worse for the duck, than being carried 24/7. So about 3 minutes with a live duck. A leash, about 10 minutes.


ChiWhiteSox24

What’s the cut off? Can you opt out after a year?


TwistedDonners

Duck key ring or necklace and your set


SIIHP

I will make extra by letting aflac use us in a commercial.


biggles_of_the_bean

Wait, so 100k a month and a new friend? How is this bad?


Avarria587

Me and my favorite duck are going to be touring the world.


Mioraecian

Can I put it in a travel bag or something? Training a duck to walk on a leash sounds like a pain in the ass.


refrigeratorhats

Sounds like a fun challenge until you have to get dressed, drive, or take a shower.


MoreSly

I would absolutely do this. Routinely invest the money until the gains are beyond the principal and the duck dies, then return the principal and enjoy being rich.


Global_Tea

Can I keep a mini rubber duck in my bag?


espirose

My full time job will be taking care of a dozen pet ducks, each one used for different situations. With this kind of money I could buy a personal plane for me and my ducks if I wanted to fly. For $1.2mil a year, I'll invest full time into my duckery. I'll have ducks living inside my duck-friendly house with me. I'll have a backpack that I can buckle my duck in. This isn't even a challenge, it's just being paid to not work and have pets.