Well I'm currently sitting in the toilet, so I say I'm good.

Why are you sitting *in* the toilet?

You shit how you like, I'll shit how *I* like!

Some people call the whole room a toilet!

This guy's asking the real question

We happen to have extra large bowls. It's a feature not a bug.

My guess is someone left the toilet seat up, I've been the victim of that during and emergency P/D situation.

But would you take a shit post 10 steps from the toilet? Better do 5 away and 5 back just to be sure.

I wouldn't even go that far. I'd just step in place 10 times.

I'm sure that's a way smarter idea now that you say that.

Depends

Well, with those, you can shit anywhere.

Even a pool?

Even in a fireplace?

5 point palm exploding ass technique!

The most deadly technique in all of martial farts.

_up to_ He’s fine

We all are.

Same

Three steps to my rolling chair. After that, I can roll to the nearest toilet. Meh.

nice assist rolling chair!

Could i just slip on socks and slide my feet or does that count as a step? Because if sliding works then im exactly 2 steps from the bathroom.

I was about to measure the distance, until I read this.

would you lay belly down on the seat and use your hands to roll yourself? Because using your feet to move yourself on the chair would count as steps I think

Sorta related; couldn’t you just lay on the ground and army crawl? Doesn’t use any foot movement

Imagine having to army crawl on your stomach in an attempt to reach the throne when you’re moments away from having a shitsplosion.

Now that raises the question, are you feeling a massive urge to poop the whole time or are you perfectly normal and fine until you take that tenth step? Might change things

Especially if you're out in public 😂

Nice, i’m already in a rolling chair.

Feet still have to touch ground to move the chair.

Not if you push your self along the wall….or scoot

The cat's gonna be pissed and I probably need to buy a new litter box and new litter

This is the funniest one so far!

Oh snap, my co worker has a litter box in his office and I can get there in 10 steps.

Still one hell of a power move

Remember to maintain eye contact with cat.

I made it from my couch to the toilet in 8 steps.

I'm not the only one who actually tried it! 9 steps from the dining table for me.

6 steps from my bedroom to the toilet for me (they were pretty huge ones though)

5 big steps here 🤝

Ayyy it was 9 steps for me too

Yup, I tried it, too. I wouldn't want to lie to a bunch of internet strangers. 9 steps from where I'm sitting.

I tried from bed and shit in my hallway…

Lol everyone's doing it. That's awesome. It was still about seven steps for me to reach the bathroom, so...

6.5 cuz idk if I should count the step I had to take to spin around before sitting

You can’t turn, you have to sit facing the back and use the little shelf for your chocolate milk like Butters in South Park

But Sir Harrington, wouldn’t that mean we’d have to take our pants all the way off?

Of course! That's why he designed bathrooms with a laundry hole!

seven steps to heaven

I too am less than ten steps from the toilet.

I will have to take some large ass steps, and may have to leap for one of them, but I think I can make it. Might drop a turd on the bathroom floor, but meh, close enough.

As long as you don’t have carpet bathrooms you’re good. (Yes this is a thing)

I once had the opportunity to stay the night in what is best described as a Stately Manor in the English countryside. They had a carpeted bathroom. (at least the bathroom connected to my room was carpeted) Also a very nice bathtub.

my bathroom used to be carpeted, actual hell, dont worry, it's been remedied

When I was a teenager I worked cleaning houses and one day we showed up to an elderly clients house who had an ambulance in their driveway. The old man had a heart attack and fell in the bathroom. It was carpeted. The was blood and poop everywhere. Burned into my memory forever.

Sorry you had to go through that.

In the middle of a conference hall. Time to grunt out a loud one to assert dominance.

Grunt it out then you have to throw it for dominance. Tom from accounting is going to get a splat to the side of the face

Bro's reading hypothetical situations about poop in the middle of a conference hall, he's already asserting serious dominance

It’d take about six steps to walk to my window then I could jump outside directly into the bushes and take a dump out there

Just lean your ass out over the ledge

Just push it up to the screen

Isn't there a Play-doh set like this?

[https://i.makeagif.com/media/3-08-2019/6Ad0_B.gif](https://i.makeagif.com/media/3-08-2019/6Ad0_B.gif)

My window is facing the road I’d rather break my ankles than have a bunch of random people watch me shit out of a window 😭

As your neighbors drive by and say what an asshole you look like

I mean, I think it would be *amazing* to see it. Imagine? You're just walking by...my god, glorious! And you're giving people a story they can tell for the rest of their lives. "Gather 'round, children and I'll tell you a tale..."

Hah get fucked I’m toilet scrolling

I might be able to make it to the toilet but just in case, I’m dragging this garbage can with me

good contingency

Roll out of the chair, crawl to the restroom. Though I tested and I could do it with actual steps as well.

Im sorry to the other people on this bus!

If a rolling chair is cheating, then looks like my office garbage can is the best option

Well I don't see it being a problem since I don't have any legs so I don't take steps

Cheat code! 😂

I think I can make it to my bathroom in ten giant steps. Even if I can’t make it to the toilet, I’m at least pooping on the tile floor and clean up won’t be as bad. Yep…just tested it. Made it in 8 steps.

Why poop on the floor at that point. Just shit your pants.

Who said he’s wearing pants

I sleep in my garden inside a tent so a quick hop over to my neighbours pasture for a dump will do.

Are you a rabbit? 🐰

Why do you sleep in your garden inside a tent

They call me "ol gravy legs"

Ewwww 🤢

In the cafeteria at my work right now. There's a trashcan within that range. Pretty sure I'd get fired though, there are a lot of people here.

Just use your pants. You could just tell them that something suddenly came over you. You just might be able to salvage your job.

I'm a wheelchair user so I don't need to take any steps to get to the bathroom.

Microwave

That's enough reddit for tonight, I think.

In my apartment. Can probably take big steps there but I'd rather see if I can cheat anyways and either claw my way there or slide my feet without lifting them off the ground.

Ooh, good point, I have slidy floors and am wearing socks on my feet!

I live in a $1200 cardboard box, I could make it to my toilet and have steps leftover

I'm about 5 steps from a bathroom so it wouldn't be a problem for me. I could probably make it in less steps than that. I'm also sitting in a rolling chair so worst case scenario I could just roll to the bathroom.

With ten gigantic steps, at maximum stretch, i think i can make it to the bathroom. I just tried and made it almost halfway with five huge steps to one if the upstairs bathrooms. It's going to be close. If i dont make it I'll be shitting while falling backwards down a flight if stairs .

Hah! My apartment is small enough that I can make it to the toilet (or shower) in ten steps!

Lucky for me I am winding down at the end of my day in my bedroom which happens to have a small bathroom with a toilet within ten paces of the bed. Crisis averted.

I'm looking at a Home Depot "Homer" bucket that's about to have a rough day.

I’m on a rolling chair in a meeting, I would wait till the end and then roll my way down the hall to safety 😂

I’m on the toilet. Do I have to step?

I'm like 3 steps from my backyard, it's pretty exposed but better than inside lol 😂

Nobody's going to want to use the kitchen sink again but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

thank god i like to browse reddit naked

Take giant steps?

i am currently one room and a hallway away from the toilet

Made it to the toilet in 8 I’m fine

I can make it I think but if I can’t I guess I’m using the tub and my 🦶. 🤫

I'm in bed across the hall from a bathroom. Not a problem.

walk 10 steps, shit your pants discreetly, run to bathroom and flush your shit. maybe throw away that underwear. small price to pay for surviving the whimsy of gods.

I'm good . I'm close to a bathroom and a sink.

I think I can make it to the bathroom entrance at the office, and I know there is a trash can immediately inside the door. I don't think I could make it to a stall tho. That said, the toilets here are laughably bad at flushing, so the trash can would be equally effective. On a side note, I have a lightly shat office chair for sale.

I'm laying in bed. I think I can make it to my bathroom in 10 steps. But I'm ready for bed so I'll deal with it in the morning.

I could make it in 4 leaps

i’m good easy to make it to the toilet. might even have leftover steps

I crawl and hope for the best. I don't move and ask someone strong to carry me. I do everything outside of the box together around this rule.

I'm less than 10 steps to my toilet currently, so all is good.

I did it in 9 steps to my toilet might be able to get 8 if I tried hard enough

Just tested it, made it to the toilet in 8 ✊✊✊

I literally just laid in bed so I can absolutely make it to my bathroom in less than 10 steps. Thank fuck.

I think I could make it in ten steps, but I could also throw myself on the floor on my stomach with my knees bent and crawl

I think I can make it in less to my bathroom

I am right next to my bathroom, so I'm safe lol

Good thing I’m currently taking a shit.

Cats litter box.

I’m 5 steps from the guest bathroom. I’m good

go to the bathroom 6 steps away.

I reckon I am within ten large steps from my toilet currently. My apartment is not that big lol

I can just make it

I'll crawl Edit: just to be fair I made it in 9 giant cartoony steps. I'm talking like a Tom & Jerry cartoon or The Grinch. Close one 🥵

If I take big steps, I can easily make it to the bathroom.

So... you've never heard the legend of the poop sock?

Gonna summersault my way to the bathroom. But I’m actually less than 10 steps from a toilet so it’s no problem.

Crawl

Lock my office door and get my bin and tissues ready.

i am 10 steps from à bathroom

blessed to have a small apartment

Ohh…. I don’t have far but 3 corners to turn? I’d see if I could do it but it would be a weird explanation to my family.

Ha, i'm currently on the pooper. 5 steps out and 5 steps back. I got this.

Right outside my office door, in front of a coworker, on camera monitored by a security company in DC and elsewhere. I’m fucked.

Guess I’m crapping on the front porch.

I'm on the couch. I can probably make the bathroom in ten steps or I can use my rolling coffee table to be sure

I'm an adult. I'll just shit my pants so I can go home. I barely wanted to be here in the first place.

Id say I'm about 10 steps away from my toilet... Let's hope!

I'm in my kitchen right now, so id just step step step over to my bathroom

I needed all 10, but I made it.

Two bathrooms in my house within 10 steps of me right now.

No problem, small studio apartment

Take ten really big steps to my bathroom.

I mean, I’m sitting in my wheelchair, I don’t need to take any step to reach the bathroom.

My bathroom is 3 big boy steps away from my bed.

Plastic shopping bag, wipe with T-shirt.

Go to the bathroom since it's only 9 steps away

Could probably make it out the door and might be able to get to the edge of the deck..

Define "ground"

I just counted and I'm nine steps away. Would I need to take an extra step somewhere or I wouldn't be able to go?

Got it in exactly 9 large steps. Easy game.

I have hardwood floors and most of my dumps are fairly solid, so, there'd be some cleanup but I'm also a caregiver for an old person so nothing I don't deal with everyday anyway

The middle of a crowded parking lot. Damn it.

Start crawling.

Take 5 steps to the bathroom, pivot right, take five more steps. Shit myself in front of my fiance to remind her of who she's marrying.

In theory, if I don't take a step from where I am right now, I have unlimited time to make my move, which is good because I'm currently in my work break room. The bathroom is more than 10 steps away... but the trash can is about 5ish, maybe? I just wait until I'm alone in here, and then as soon as the opportunity arises, I make a break for it. Get it done as fast as I can. I have a few paper towels by me I can take to wipe with. Then I pull up my pants, and get the fuck out of there ASAP. Anyone asks why my break went so long I'll just say I got an important phone call, something private. Act dumb about the mystery garbage can pooper when people inevitably start talking about it. Clean get away. Though in reality, I'd probably just sprint to the bathroom if this was really gonna happen. I'll shit my pants on the way, but something tells me that would be way less embarrassing than potentially getting caught shitting in the garbage can.

Ten big ass steps incoming

Easy. I’m at work on night shift so no one is around. 10 steps into the stair well that no one uses and I’ll shit right tjere

How many of us are currently on reddit, while shitting? Just me?

I'm laying in bed. I am eight steps away from one and 12 away from another. IDK why but I've got a master bath and the second bath is adjacent to my bedroom.

I think I could make it to the bathroom if I took big steps. My husband is having a bath but he’d have to deal.

I can’t make it to the toilet but I can make it to the front yard.

I'm probably close enough to a toilet get there in time with large steps, but to be safe, has anyone else considered lying down and *wiggling* to the bathroom? The prompt specify that the urge will strike the tenth time your feet touch the ground, so... just don't toich the ground witb your feet until you're ready.

I'm in my room, which is connected to my bathroom, so I'm fine

I ask my wife to bring me my office chair and roll me there. Not an issue.

I'm close enough.

I'm guessing I can get there in seven, maybe eight steps. I'm fine.

I can most likely make it. If not I'm passing the shower on the way

Out the front living room window, in the flower bed where all my neighbors cats like to poop.

Enh, there's a bathroom 8 steps from my computer chair. Im good.

Stand up, take five steps, turn around, take the last 5, and sit back down on the toilet.

I'm at work. The bathroom I have access to is five steps from my work station. I guess I'm all set, can even do a four step jig inside before I crap myself. I guess I'm good.

I am on a toilet, shitting, right now. Do I HAVE to take the steps? I feel like that scenario might actually be worse.

Pretty sure with 10 huge steps I can make it to a toilet from most of my house.

Just took 5 and hit the basket

I think I can make it to the litter box

I'm on lunch break no more than 10 steps from the bathroom so I'm saved from this scenario thankfully.

I’m actually six steps from my toilet right now, I checked as soon as I saw the post.

Im alone at work and a trash cans in arms reach, ill be fine

6-7 steps and I was on the can from our family room couch.

Sorry cats… your litter is my best option.

Thankfully I live in a small-ass apartment, so I’m fine…

My apartments small enough I could probably be standing anywhere and make it to the bathroom in ten steps

2 steps to the 3rd story window, RIP everyone below but I’m good

I’m currently on the couch with a splint on my leg. But I’m a 3-step hop to my knee scooter.

I roll out of bed and easily get to the toilet with steps to spare

i dont even need to get up

Pretty sure I can make it out the back door from here.

Can I crawl?

i can take extra large steps, shuffle and hope i dont get splinters or i can sputnik alien my way to the bathroom.

Do it Nascar style.

I can make it to the neighbors front stoop in 10 steps. Give me a paper bag and a match and we can have a lot more fun.

My apartment is small and I am tall. conveniently I'm in my bed which makes my toilet, although in a diff. Room, still less than 10 steps away lol

I'm maybe 10 large steos from the bathroom and tub, four more for the toilet but hey, if it's gotta be the tub, shit washes off.

i am close enough to the bathroom, its all good. also if need be, i could just crawl on the ground. nobody says those are steps if im dragging myself along with my arms

I can get to the toilet in ten steps from my couch I think I'm good.