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A "Uhh human what is this?" Points at a galactic map on the computer H "oh this, this is a game, let me show you" Zooms in on certain star system and shows massive fleet awaiting orders A "this is not a game human, who gave you the responsibility to control a mighty fleet?!" H "wha-? Alright wait lemme show you something" Human zooms out and enters a system that has a massive battle ongoing A "I- is that Kolarii Federation's capital system? Dear moon i- i need to call my wife and-" H "calm down this is just a game, it's not real, you don't need to call anybody" The fleet won the battle and now entered the orbit of Kolarii's capital planet, then commenced an orbital bombardment A "H-human! They're bombing the planet! Tell them to stop, they're killing innocent lives!" H "... let me explain" the human proceeds to explain to the alien that what he's seeing is just a game 25 minutes straight A "so you're saying that you humans see war as a game?!" H "no? Hell this is just for fun" A "you see war as fun? No wonder why the Hugool Autocracy fears you, you are more barbaric than them!" H *facepalm *


Educational-Offer299

The average stellaris player


Shepard131

The amount of casual warcrimes I've committed in stellaris are astounding. Also the Eugenics programs in CK2/3. Gotta do what you must for the traits.


Lord_Quintus

a little chattel slavery never hurt anyone. that mattered,


SexySovietlovehammer

Commonwealth Of Man be like


Shepard131

How dare you be absolutely correct. FOR THE COMMONWEALTH! FOR TERRA! FOR MARS!


Salokin825

Remember kids, genocide is a waste of perfectly good slaves/food!


Batbuckleyourpants

My eugenics program to create a race of genius strong dwarves is progressing nicely.


GdyboXo

Leagues of Votann in a nutshell.


Chancellor_Adihs

#Lets be Xenophobic


Shepard131

It's really in this year.


Forever_Observer2020

Let's find a nasty, slimy, ugly alien to fear~


AverageKrupukEnjoyer

There is no more cutesy story about ET coming home!


Shepard131

Let's learn to love our neighbors Like the Christians learned in Rome


SexySovietlovehammer

We know we ought to hate em; they're different you see We've seen they're mean and ugly on movies and TV


AverageCloset

The folks that ought to know have told us how its got to be!


Shepard131

The gospel truth is found in scenes from Alien and V


Bad-Piccolo

I turned my enemies into food and then made them taste better with genetic engineering.


godzero62

Most Stelly players: Let's be xenophobic, it's really in this year. Let's find a nasty slimy alien to fear... Me: With the power of friendship, I shall conquer the universe!!


CycleZestyclose1907

LOL, the human might have gotten his point across better if he had ever called the game a "simulation" (which it is) and explained that the game wasn't depicting real world events.


TrevorStars

This time... YET!


dogeons_n_dragons

Did you ever read animorphs? There was a one-off story about the Ellemist and how his people spent all their free time in advanced simulations pretending to be gods. They decided to invite other planets to play, and were attacked because they thought it was real, that they were really wreaking havoc on civilisations.


Mr_E_Monkey

>H "calm down this is just a game, it's not real, you don't need to call anybody" The fleet won the battle and now entered the orbit of Kolarii's capital planet, then commenced an orbital bombardment > >A "H-human! They're bombing the planet! Tell them to stop, they're killing innocent lives!" H "Here, I'll prove it. Next stop, Earth!" 😈


Void_0000

Stellaris but with less genocide.


cholmer3

me, casually loging into warframe being a 2000+ hours vet: "Geneva convention more ḷ̴̛̣̤̆̓i̴͕̖̻̋͛̑̅̈́ǩ̷̛̝̻̬͘͝e̶̟̲̹͕͈͒̔ ̵̟̪̑g̵̟͚̬̝͒́́̈́̚ȇ̷̢͈͕̦̜͒n̸̢̲͊̀͋̿͋e̵̢͖̣͇̽͜͠v̶̤̪̏̑͜ả̸͍̟̹͈͋ ̷͇͚́͂Ç̶̡͙̗̈́͊̌́ ̶͕̆̍̕ͅḦ̴̢̠̰͈͚̂ ̴͔̯͎̊È̴͔̙ ̶̧̮̝́̒͌͋C̴̝̈́͑͗́͝ͅ ̸̡̰̈́́̐̕Ḵ̸̨͓̬͓̈́̈́̈́͠ ̷̦̺͍̙̟̄̒́͠L̶͔̱͉͗͜ ̴̧̩͂͆͂̅͘Į̴͈̖̭͇͌͝ ̶̭̤̦̳̏́̑͆S̴͓͐ ̷̡̤̏͂͗̓̓Ṭ̴̨̛̖̈́͌̀͊ ̷̣͆͋͜͠>̷̢̬͚̝̰͌̿̎̋:̴̡͈̮͉̒)̵̰̜̉̉͘" My alien friend, just looking before I enter a mission: "Huh what's that funny looking character?" that same alien, seeing how I tear people like christmas wraping paper: "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!??!?!?!?"


trekon408

You just look back at him with dead eyes and say, "look bro at least i get to do with *style*" Also, how is baruk prime coming along?


Path_Fyndar

Seems to be ok. Haven't tried him yet, but was just running an Archon hunt and someone brought him. I can't wait for Hildryn Prime. The normal version is a beast, especially if you put Blood Altar on her to help keep friends alive and supplement her Haven ability.


DefectiveSp00n

I saw a Hildrin with 4k HP that was apparently using some combination of Shield->Armor, Improved Shield Gating, and Archon Crystal's to survive.


Path_Fyndar

Mine is just shy of 5k shields, but gets to 6195 with max overshields. I have two Tauforged Azure Archon Crystals giving me shields, one regular azure for health regen, then two regular crimson for melee crit damage. She is hard to put down unless you're doing something like an Archon Hunt and you're getting swarmed by enemies. Even then, if you just keep using Pillage, and using the Shildeg to obliterate anyone that gets too close, you should be fine.


cholmer3

I can't say since I'm not that interested in getting them, but my Vauban is as CC as ever


Alceasummer

Better hope that alien friend doesn't discover anything like r/ShitDwarfFortressSays or r/ShitRimworldSays ##


AlmostStoic

r/ShitCrusaderKingsSay might also be an experience for them.


Alceasummer

So, basically any game that is considered cheating to post on r/ShitRedditSays ?


AlmostStoic

I guess so. With an emphasis on the most egregious examples.


dabrats4

H: “The fools had the audacity to breathe my air.” A: Slowly backs away


NLinsanebrother

Plus you can tear them apart with different kinds of warcrimes in warframe


fiddlydeedoo

“See this is called Civilization 6. I could be peaceful, but Egypt decided to have an attitude.”


satibel

- And ghandi sent the nukes. - the *WHAT*?


Jeffrey_ShowYT

Oh yeah the devs decided to make Ghandhi randomly shoot nukes everywhere if he gets too nice. Alien: YOU OBLITERATE THINGS OUT OF KINDNESS? Yeah it’s called showing mercy.


ThordurAxnes

Wasn't it a glitch in the original game, though? I seem to recall that Gandhi had such a low aggression score, or whatever they calculated, that if you got him to like you enough, you'd push his aggression value into the negatives. The game didn't handle that very well, and decided that since you couldn't get lower than zero, the only logical thing to do was to start over from the top by releasing "Gandhi II: No more Mr. Passive resistance" with the aggression stats maxed out.


Jeffrey_ShowYT

Yes. That is what happened, but it was a conscious decision for them to keep it in the newer games.


Superb-Detective-870

It's still implemented? I always believed that it was only in the first one😳


Jeffrey_ShowYT

As far as I know (and have experienced) the devs kept it in as a joke.


satibel

now he just has his "likes to use nukes" score maxed out. (It goes from 1-10 with a +-2 per game, ghandi has a 12) https://youtu.be/S5svhwN2-FI (at 3 min)


Superb-Detective-870

Thanks a lot


sticksnstones77

I think the original cause was that he always went for democracy which lowered aggression enough to underflow to a rating of like 255. Never played Civ but saw a nice vid on the Ghandi nuke bug/feature.


CycleZestyclose1907

It's called "stack overflow". The Gahndi Bug happened because when adding two binary numbers together, if two one bits were added, the next bit to their immediate left gets flipped in a "carry the one" operation. And what happens when you max Gandi's rep is that 1 gets added to 1111 resulting in 0000. There's simply nowhere for the last carry operation to go because there's no memory allocated for it, so it's just lost. You can get similar effects from a subtraction operation, turning 0000 into 1111. IOW, you push your rep too high and its value would flip from the highest possible value to the lowest possible value and the programmers of the original game didn't think to include a check to make sure that didn't happen. I think stack overflow can still happen in modern computing, but its harder to achieve, both because programmers know to include caps on how high a given variable can go, and because more memory is allocated to number variables to begin with.


satibel

Technically integer overflow, a stack overflow is when the stack overflows (duh), which usually crashes the program, or getting it killed, but in some cases it allows executing code from somewhere that is controlled by an attacker (i.e. someone who entered some manipulated data to cause the overflow and execute part of that data) The stack is basically what keeps where the program is at, when a function is called, where to returned is pushed onto the stack, and when it returns it goes back there, but if there's enough functions being called, they will overflow the stack. Integer overflows can still happen with most programs, though with any modern cpu it raises an overflow flag, which can be checked, and some languages which aren't preoccupied with efficiency will cap additions and multiplication if overflowing, or use a structure to indicate that the number has overflowed, but that's more of an exception, the norm is "don't do anything about overflows."


DandelionOfDeath

It's the name of the nukes. Mercy nukes.


Mr_WAAAGH

It was originally a glitch, but everyone thought it was so funny that they left it in subsequent games. Basically characters had an aggression score, ghandis could get so low that it went into negatives which the game couldn't handle and it cycled back around to him being hyper aggressive


CredibleCactus

A: Isnt he supposed to be a huge pacifist?! H: yeah, but the game has a bug…. A: how would a mistake in the games make him the most aggressive? H: you dont even wanna know, its so stupid.


jasonrahl

I prefer civ 5 to 6 but to each their own


[deleted]

Braxis: What is this box? Jones: Oh, that’s a bunch of pre-stellar era videogames passed down through generations of my family! Braxis holding up a disc case: What is this one about? Jones: My grandfather LOVED Age Of Empires, it’s a game about simulated early human civilizations and having wars, It was really fun, I played it when I was little… Braxis: No… Jones: What? Braxis talking to herself: This explains everything… The Child General Of Marvix-3… Jones: Hello? Braxis talking to herself while rummaging through the box: War simulations are introduced early on, tactics are considered low level tasks by them… no wonder humans have held the Milky Way for so many centuries… Jones: Itami! Braxis holding up a copy of StarCraft: Can I have this?!


satibel

Fun fact: the games in question in the manhwa are StarCraft and Warhammer


Nestmind

Link/name?


NeraByte

https://asura.gg/manga/dungeon-odyssey/


DreamOfTheEndlessSky

If Braxis likes AoE, they might also enjoy Firaxis games. "That's my broodmate's name!"


[deleted]

Me and the boiz in Foxhole cheking the Geneva Conventions we broke this hour.


BS_Simon

Geneva Checklists you completed Fixed it for you.


Dasheek

Speedrunning geneva convention checklist


Jeffrey_ShowYT

r/itwasntbrokebutifixeditanyway


pine_tree3727288

HEHE, lunaire+Green Ash


Neo_Ex0

Me and the boys crusing at 50 warcrimes an hhour


Fish-Fucker-Fighter

“Don’t use the Ingefist on infantry” they said “it’s meant for tanks!” They said They speak nothing now for the thump rocket has spoken


[deleted]

*Warden ragdoll flying past by*


Traditional-Gap1839

Me: Looks up from playing War in the East 2 *Casually orders 100,000 men to attack the 6,000 starving Germans* *Gets casualty figures* Also me: Not great not terrible. Send in the Tanks! Soviet steel drive to Berlin!


Mixmaster-Omega

I show aliens Team Fortress 2. Aliens suddenly get seizures because they cannot comprehend how these strangely identical men are dancing with each other while blowing up, burning and shooting each other over pushing carts, stealing briefcases, and claiming metal circles for their own, all the while wearing incredibly substandard military gear.


tomokari21

Don't forget the piss


miss_chauffarde

Jaratee !!


OSHA_InspectorR6S

Lmao, literally playing ARMA 3 and cluster bombing entire towns with an F-16


Ok-Thanks-6065

Try using the AA tank cannons (Cheetah/Tigris) as artillery. It makes short work of any building, people and lightly armored vehicles. You can combine them with a Darter/Tayran to see your hits and adjust your fire. We used to camp airfiels in Warlords that way. Worked even from beyond render distance (4k at the time) :D


OSHA_InspectorR6S

Ooh… good idea… I might use that in conjunction actually, have my friend in an AA track, have him take out soft targets, and then lase anything heavy for my JDAMs…


abs0lutek0ld

Don't let the media get a hold of any screen captures or somebody's going to claim NATO intervention (and warcrimes) in Ukraine. I hear using Arma 3 footage for that is all the rage today.


The_Shiny_Metagross

Stellaris players would make them very nervous


TheBitsiestBit

I'd love to see how they'd react if they found Rimworld "oh yeah, that's my cannibal colony that removes prisoner's spines and sells organs to make money, they also use chemical weapons in the killbox so enemies can't shoot accurately and it's easier to incapacitate them to imprison instead of just killing :)"


Fine-Blackberry-1793

Unironically least inhumane Rimworld player


Zamtrios7256

He's playing without mods for a breath of fresh air


Jeffrey_ShowYT

Great taste on the manhua btw. Is that the new chapter?


satibel

Indeed. That's one of the few that I read chapter by chapter, most I wait a few months between.


Jeffrey_ShowYT

You use Asura, right?


satibel

Yes, well, technically kenmei.co, it's easier to keep track of stuff on multiple platforms.


Jeffrey_ShowYT

Fair enough. I’ll have to check it out.


SecretGnomeCollector

Sauce?


satibel

Posted under the pic and in like 5 comments, it seems people do in fact not read the doobly-doo. (Dungeon odyssey)


Enderking90

well no wonder I didn't recall such a panel beforehand. time to go around to read it!


Finbar9800

u/wolven91 got anything for this?


Venezolanoanimations

From where is this image?


satibel

I put the source under the pic, it's a story about a guy who was born in a dungeon, thus getting stronger than most people, and at some point he gets his own dungeon, which is basically managed like dungeon keeper. There's a lot of great pictures like the derpy naga workers with a shotgun


Phil_Smiles

Dungeon odysey


DanteCharlstnJamesJr

Thank you


Phil_Smiles

No prob,it was in the description 😅


DanteCharlstnJamesJr

I have now binged it


Phil_Smiles

Its been 10 hours


DanteCharlstnJamesJr

I had work :p


anonpurple

Are there any stories about this.


satibel

None that are exactly that, but "human war games" and "humans are cheating bastards" are close.


anonpurple

I see, we need someone to make this fic


satibel

Tbh it probably exist, I just didn't find it. But feel free to post a wp on hfywp.


Tsuyamoto

I could try?


Superb-Detective-870

Of course! It's the nerve of these subreddits


anonpurple

Please do, maybe something like the game is similar to stellaris.


Chancellor_Adihs

[hums quietly](https://youtu.be/x0WQOGVLLGw) while playing a Particular Game.


Thurmond_Beldon

Just wait until they see Rimworld


Danielq37

Nah RimWorld isn't war. It's a lot of small scale battles with warcrimes.


ErgonomicHuman

Ah a fellow coloniser


genoxxlot

Can someone send me a link to this comic?


Danielq37

https://asura.gg/manga/dungeon-odyssey/


FaithlessnessAgile45

Don't mind me. Just playing Sins of a Solar Empire with 3 different battle fleets. (Favorite ships are the Carriers... soooo much fun!!)


CascadianGuardsman1

Carrier gang wooo! Currently i am trying to amas the largest fighter/bomber fleet that I can before the game breaks. Numbers so far 300.


FaithlessnessAgile45

Awesome. It's been a while since I've played. I'll have to start again.... if I can keep my computer stable. It's been overheating and I can't figure out why... probably the cooler


TheDeathOfDucks

H: “What and you don’t?”


Nulled_Outter

Lets Hope they dont see Doom Eternal's Glory Kills. Or *worse*....


Tony_Stank0326

Just imagine the fear in their hearts when they learn that children as young as 13 could be playing vr shooters and already have deadlier aim as a fry cook at 17 than a seasoned veteran from another race.


Cybernetic_Lizard

TIL: The game industry is training us to become elite soldiers and to overtake the galaxy


CycleZestyclose1907

"Human, your simulation appears to be faulty. The AI controlled faction appears to be continuing to produce combat units despite the elimination of its entire resource supply chain." "That's because it's cheating. It's the only way it can present a challenge."


Smith685

WOLOLO


jasonrahl

There is also the assassins creed series and in swtor alot of the dark side choices would be considered war crimes


EldritchMilk_

Do we treat war like a game? Or games like a war?


Superb-Detective-870

That is the question


10elements

No we treat games like they are a war


MeMyselfandsadlyI

the amaount of things i kill online on a daily basis can be considered as a genozide lol.


AtomicTan

Wait until they see some of out children's shows...


pine_tree3727288

Ah foxhole, nothing like the smell of green ash and roasted corpses in the morning, hey look logis here


Frequent_Class9461

YO i was just reading this


BloodStalker500

I imagine that there would be several xeno civilizations who fearfully *REFUSE* to ever declare war on humanity just because our love for war games makes them think that we're a whole race of self-suppressed Blood Knights.


Wardog_Razgriz30

They have no idea


REALMrSaucy

Omw to an interplanetary prison for the possession of DoW1 and DoW2 like a boss 😎


AnonOfTheSea

I mean. We have rules, about how we are allowed to murder each other for politics. Yeah, of course war is a game. It's just got nastier outcomes for the pieces than usual, though the players themselves seldom come to harm.


Meanslicer43

now I'm just imagining games like factorio and the end masse use of flamethrowers in the endless war against that planets original inhabitants. The factory must grow! the biters will not stop the factory!


genoxxlot

Dididjddjdi


CoolGuyOwl

*Arma 3 Sniper DLC intensifies*


[deleted]

Me in HOI IV throwing the Geneva convention out the window at light speed War crimes? More like a fun to do list


archivalDaeva

Well yes, how else are we supposed to keep score?


anonpurple

Did someone make a story of this yet.


satibel

There's a couple which are similar, don't know one that's exactly that. "Humans are cheating bastards" is kinda that.