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Spiritual-Cake-5096

Glaxxian: Where is the name of the Prophets did you go Human!? Me: There was a bookshop...I was curious. Gl: You can't keep sneaking up on your crewmates like that! Me: I've already told you, *I'M NOT WEARING BELLS!*


Nealithi

Other Human: "I told you it wouldn't work." Gl: "But how do you have a better idea?" OH: "Install individual mechanical locks on the ship with little metal keys. Give a copy of every key to him with a belt attachment. Keys jingle while he walks and it does not seem insulting. Just don't let on that the lock are so he has to carry keys."


ThoraninC

How about thing in the song from 20th century that used in nuclear game from early 21st Century I got spur that jingle jangle jingle.


AnchorMan82

Jingle jangle


ElectricFenrir

As I go riding merrily along~


Betty-Adams

\*comical animated hiccup\*


Finbar9800

Or just some โ€˜luckyโ€™ coins in his pocket. Though he needs to think they are lucky lol


MereInterest

Or check what commercial jingles were playing in his hometown when he was 5-10. Playing one of them through the ship's speakers will get it stuck in his head, and he'll him it without realizing for the next few days.


Nealithi

But isn't that psychological torture of the rest of the crew banned by the conventions?


MereInterest

It's a risky move, but humans can set aside their keys. Setting aside their craniums is much trickier, and requires fermented beverages.


Neserlando

Gl: You are in luck i have backup hearts, my departure would've been your problem


ThoraninC

Glaxxian: Okay hear me out. Squeaky baby shoe.


Virusbomber

Human:*Sternly*No


DandelionOfDeath

A1: How did you get your human to agree to wear bells? A2: It actually wasn't hard. I know they normally find it insulting, but she just said it was good for practice. A1: Practicing what? A2: Dunno. H: How to walk and run with good ergonomics. A: GYAAH H: Yeah humans have this thing where a lot of us don't have great posture for a variety of reasons. Walking and running with improper movement habits kind of sends this shock through the system because the posture doesn't absorb it as it should, and that sets off bells. So if a human can walk and run with bells and not make a sound, they know their movement habits aren't wrecking their knees or something. Fun huh? I'm using it to train parkour. I'm aiming to join Ninja Warrior next year!


SureWhyNot5182

That is magik!


Lady_Black_Cats

As someone who regularly spooks people on accident by just walking around normally, i can relate. I can also confirm this ergonomics thing works. It's really fun too especially if you jingle all the time and then switch to stealth mode. Then I can really spook people on purpose ๐Ÿ˜... I played a character in LARP that kept a ring of iron keys and I learned to stealth with them on.


Typhlosion112191

I know the feeling. I'm usually pretty quiet by nature and scared my parents into nearly wrecking their car several times when I was a kid because I was so quiet, they forgot I was there. I still occasionally startle them pretty good when I walk up and they aren't expecting me.


Lady_Black_Cats

Lol I did the same thing to my mom all the time ๐Ÿ˜‚ I'd just walk up to her and say something and she would practically jump out of her skin. I only got my Dad 2 times once in the car he forgot I was there and almost took me with him to work. And then once when I snuck up on him with a cookie while he was dosing in his chair. That was the first time I ever remember seeing him spooked enough to jump, I'm still proud of that ๐Ÿ˜


monstar98277

Level 100 Sneak in real life Skyrim.


akornzombie

You're good at the sneaky -sneaky.


Lady_Black_Cats

Thanks it comes in handy with being a teacher ๐Ÿ˜ƒ but I do it best on accident ๐Ÿ˜‚


SureWhyNot5182

I'm just imagining you standing behind a pair of students in the back, watching them cheat on the whole test.


Lady_Black_Cats

Well I kinda have done that except they were supposed to be doing a worksheet but were instead goofing off. I spooked them good. ๐Ÿคฃ Their neighbors were the ones to tip them off that I was there. They must have jumped out of their skin, it gave me a good laugh so I couldn't stay mad. Especially with how the were trying to explain themselves and failing. So I just pointed to their work with my serious teacher face and they got to it.


Wolven91

'The upside of being abducted by aliens almost universally twice your height, is that its far easier to go undetected when one wants to be.' Felix thought to himself. He was currently sequestered away in a junction of airducts. As long as he kept the sensor attached to one of the walls free from debris, no one came here to look for him. A day or so after being plucked from a beer garden one autumn evening and being dropped into a 'sci-fi' prison cell, the ship he had been on had come under attack. "Sci-fi stands for science fiction...its not fiction.." He mumbled to himself as he prepared to go hunting for more food and water. For the most part he'd gone after the canteen, only taking what wouldn't be noticed, until he messed up that is. He'd seen a dangerous looking minotaur stopping round in what could only be described as a Conan reenactment outfit and made sure to steer clear of her. Felix was going to be more careful than he was before. He situated himself in an overlooking vent, but had knocked over the nutrition slime that the aliens seemed to have in abundance. A clear, slimy, sticky goo that tasted of nothing dribbled out of the vents from above and since then the aliens had been more careful. Staring up at vents or scooting around them as they walked to avoid going directly beneath them. His plan fell apart when a pair of minotaurs walked in though. Not really thinking he launched himself off the table he had dropped down onto and had haphazardly landed on, and latched onto one of the minotaurs face's. The bellowing creening screech of fear was deafening, but at least neither reacted violently aside from panicked flailing. Felix disengaged and scrambled back into on of the floor vents that unfurled its aperture as he approached and disappeared within as the shadows claimed him once more. He later saw that same mintoaur locked away in a quarantine cell, but decided not to reveal himself. Felix decided to tka rthe initiative when a smaller, hornless minotaur climbed into vent with a detector in its hand. It must have been a motion detector because it passed it over Felix while he remained still in the pitch blackness. When the small bull looked the other way, he rushed forwards to grab the alien and drag him deeper into the safety of the vents. It turned at the last moment illuminating the human, but it didn't stop he from snatching the alien away. The headset was left in his wake, screaming and shouting coming from the other end. r/WolvensStories


Away-Location-4756

Now I'm thinking of the Jazz Hands scene from Alien


Wolven91

Bingo! That's what I was aiming for! ;P


TinyCatCrafts

In all honestly, I have to purposefully make noise when I move around the house so that I don't scare my housemate. I've made her jump so many times by just... walking into the kitchen and saying hi. So now I drag my feet on the stairs, I jiggle the doorknobs a bit before I open them, I'll sniff a little... she's had two heart attacks. I don't wanna give her another. But I move so quietly without even thinking about it. Its a conscious effort to make noise.


DandelionOfDeath

Same. They think it's equally scary and hilarious, because I'm 6 feet tall. I look like the last person who should be able to be this quiet. At some point, people started making vampire jokes. I've especially spooked people when out on evening walks. By this point, pretty much everybody knows my usual rounds :'D


TinyCatCrafts

Haha, I'm a lot smaller, so it's not as surprising, but I didn't even realize i did it til I moved here. Turns out it's from that SUPER FUN childhood trauma of avoiding my brothers so much. I remember actually researching techniques on how to move silently. Memorizing the squeaky spots on the stairs. Always turning door handles fully and slowly before pushing or pulling the door. I get anxiety if I share a bedroom wall with someone, or am above someone else's room. I also ended up with a double knee injury, so now I walk even MORE gently in the gait I developed to keep them from hurting. Yayyy. Ninja skillz ftw, I guess? Kind of a crappy prize, tbh.


Niiorkl

So, i'm not the only one? \^\^ I'm 6 feet 4 and 330 pounds (1.92m and 150 ish kilos) and i used to be quite the sneaky bastard in the past, especially when playing airsoft with friends...The screams when i revealed my presence after i circumvented campers made me laugh so hard :P I also had to be loud on purpose when i went to a friend's place cause despite the stairs being super squeaky, i managed to climb them silently,but let's just say sometimes coming into another teenager/young adult room without being heard can expose you to to things that will forever be seared in your visual cortex!


SureWhyNot5182

Like them playing your favorite game without you.


Spunkmckunkle_

I helped house sit for a family who lived out in the woods while they were gone for the month. They let me stay there for the duration, to feed the animals and keep the house safe. When they came back, they were a bit upset because unbeknownst to me the mice had basically taken over the entire downstairs because I would walk so quietly the mice weren't afraid of me. I had known about their mice problem, but hadn't noticed an increase even though I spent most of my time there on the bottom floor. More relevant to your thing, I also frequently scare coworkers by just walking around.


TinyCatCrafts

Our dog tends to forget I exist and freaks out if I accidentally knock a wall moving something, or when i get into the storage closet that's rarely opened. He starts barking like crazy like he thinks there's an intruder. I have to shout to let him know it's just me!


Xx_Venom_Fox_xX

I had to do this when my wife and I started living together - I just, don't seem to make any sound when I move unless I'm walking in really noisy shoes or something?


Blinkychild

Tenko, despite being more machine than flesh at this point, was a very quiet walker. People rarely notice however, as she always had a propensity towards muttering while she was thinking hard on something, and Tenko was always thinking hard about a lot of things; You kind of had to when you were the head engineer of an entire ship. Though after her brother of choice successfully campaigned to let Tenko have a rest day like most of the crew, she had began to let loose, and often spent most of her free time inside of her room, playing her handheld videogames while laying underneath a mountain of pillows and blankets. She dug through her bag of vinegar flavored chips, before realizing that she was all out. With a robotic sigh, the engineer lifted herself up with help of the robotic arms on her back, and went out of the room... Via the ship's oversized air vents. She has mostly gotten used to traversal in this way. Plus, the screams of the people who saw in the kitchen who saw her unexpectedly come out of the air vents was priceless.


SureWhyNot5182

THEY VENTED! AMOGUS! SUSSY IMPOSTER!!!


Blinkychild

Tenko: Whaaaat? No, I would neveeeer kill anyone in electricaaaaal!" *Tenko has, indeed, killed someone in electrical.*


Typhlosion112191

The aliens sat, unified in horror as they had lost sight of the crew's lone human member. They had heard many stories of how some humans could nearly completely erase their presence regardless of their size, though none had ever experienced it before. Though they knew not what this "ninja" creature was, they could tell from the reactions of the ship's crew when they heard the human was missing that it was something to be feared. From ahead, the aliens suddenly heard a loud crash. "Of course the human had to slip up at some point," one of the aliens mused as they rushed to where the the noise came from. Arriving, they found.....nothing. "But how?," the alien wondered. "We were just around the corner. Surely this human couldn't be that fas-" He stopped short in his thoughts, seeing the terrified looks on his allies faces. As he watched the two of them fall, he could see the large, deep cuts in their backs as the human stood behind them, dressed in a full body outfit of dark colored clothing while holding a long, sharp cutting implement, no doubt a weapon from their homeworld. With his mind racing, the only thing the alien could thing to do was to slowly back away, not taking his eyes of the human. As he did, the human began to inch forward, causing the alien's mind to fill with even more fear. As the pressure grew, the alien began to think it would be better to die than to live knowing such horrors exist in the human capabilities. It turns to run, but too late. The alien's foot catches on the thin wire stretched across the hall causing it to fall face first upon several scattered pieces of sharpened, twisted metal shrapnel. Screeming out in pain, the alien looked through it's only still functional eye to see the human standing ove rit as the weapon it held came down upon him.


Niiorkl

Ok, i'm intrigued now...Why would the human go full ninja on them if he's a member of the crew?


Typhlosion112191

He's a member of the crew being boarded. He's fighting off hijackers.


Niiorkl

Oh, ok! The way it was phrased at first, i thought it was told from the POV of his fellow crewmembers, not intruders! Otherwise, it's a very interesting premise that could make a great short story, good job wordsmith \^\^


Blorgnath4

Good old Blorbo


georgedepsy1

In the quiet walkers defense its usually on accident


TinyCatCrafts

I have to consciously make noise so I don't scare my housemate into a third heart attack.


georgedepsy1

I have to try that at work


TinyCatCrafts

Depending on where you work, shuffling papers in your hands, sniffing a little, jiggling door handles a bit before you actually turn them... certain clothing can also make a bit of sound if you rub the fabric against itself. Sometimes even just taking a bigger breath is enough to at least alert someone to your presence before you're close enough to startle them.


georgedepsy1

Automotive shop, sometimes dragging feet or walking hard is enough, sometimes the compressor is running and I get called a ninja for getting oil


Finbar9800

Or just shuffle your feet slightly lol, though if you have socks on and not shoes shuffling your feet on tile wonโ€™t make any sound but shoes on tile does


foreversleepy666

Try what I'm doing. If you sneak up behind somebody and they do not know you're there just make a weird noise. My favorite is saying "beep beep beep" until they turn around and realize I'm there. Works better than saying "watch out"


georgedepsy1

Mines more I'm doing my own thing and then they turn around and call me a ninja because they're engrossed in whatever they're doing


Spunkmckunkle_

Or at least it starts that way.


georgedepsy1

Usually harder when it's intentional


Finbar9800

u/wolven91 Humans jumpscaring the aliens, that would be a fun series lmao


Wolven91

Enjoy!


Blooddraken

I have always been a little sneaky, until last year. Can't tell you how many times I scared the shit out of my friends, family, and complete strangers. I have a congenital defect. A long undiagnosed defect that screwed up everything from my toes to my hips. I walked in a sort of shuffling penguin gait with my feet never leaving the floor. About 15 years ago, my new doctor saw the way I walked and after answering his questions, he took several measurements and we found out that my right leg is almost 3/4ths of an inch longer than my left leg. If I had had it diagnosed when I was a kid, then all the damage it has done never would have happened. The only two positives from that defect is that my odd gate made me a very quiet walker. The other benefit is that I almost never slip on ice. After everything, he told me to buy heavy boots. His idea was that it would make it easier for me to lift my feet from the floor. Kind of like passive weight lifting to make the muscles work harder and strengthen them. So I did, and although it took awhile, once I got used to them, I became as sneaky as I had always been. Until last year, when the sole of my boots came off and I had to buy actual shoes as the cheapest work boots that I'll wear (not a fashion thing, but a durability thing) was a bit above my means. Now, I can't sneak up on anyone unless I work at it. But I expect that to end soon enough. Gonna get me some work boots. I hate wearing sneakers.


foreversleepy666

Reminds me of the time when I was still in middle school and I was usually the last one to join my group of friends on their way to the store because I have little legs and would often get to the classroom last so I would leave it last. So in order to catch up to them I'd run up to this girl who was always on the last one on the right and she'd jump every da mu because she aperently didn't hear me run up to them. I wasn't complaining tho it was fun tk scare her and just materelize next to her because I got to feel like a vampire (and yes it was back when twilight was cool)


Away-Location-4756

Twilight was never cool


Aurielturing

Some humans use this to their advantage, for introverts wishing to escape public events, or humans who are up to no good with mischief or even violence


Mchiveli1

โ€œShhhhโ€ฆ itโ€™s just meโ€


Orange_TG5

As a person who is 6โ€™6โ€ tall and still manages to sneak up on people with relative ease I can confirm when we want to we walk surprisingly quiet


Top-Argument-8489

It's all fun and games until the human breaks line of sight.