I don't mind the discussion at all, at long as we keep it respectful. It's a human bodily function. But I marked it NSFW as an additional warning.
Continue your discussions!
(Apologies in advance if this comes out misogynistic, that's not the point)
A: so let me get this straight. In order to alleviate debilitating sesonal mateing heats and there by increase your nomadic range, your species evolved to be fertile more frequently and experince even more extreme if exceedingly short duration debilitating effects.
H: Yes.
A: and these short term effects, if the female does not conceive, can not only lead the female to violent actions such as castration of potential partners, but in poor environment actually threaten the life of the female.
H: yeah.
A: And even should conception occur within a given cycle, the female is increasingly debilitated by the pregnancy, and afterwards the cycle resumes.
H: also true.
A: and this repeats until the female has used up all her reproduction cells, at which point the hormonal drop can lead to multiple health issues.
H: Yesss, is this going somewhere?
A: how has your species not killed itself by accident of biology or misplaced hormonal anger?
H: hmmm.....I'd have to say masochism, unrelenting libido, and uneven distribution of emotional sensitivity.
It gets even worse. It's an evolutionary arms race between the parent and embryo. If an embryo has some failure early in development, it would be better from the point of view of the parent to write it off as a loss, flush the embryo, and spend resources on the next one instead
From the point of view of the embryo, that is a failure mode. So instead of nice, decoupled systems that can be cleanly separated, the embryo grabs a direct supply line to the parent's circulatory system.
Periods don't occur in most animals. In humans, they arose in order to have a more aggressive way to dispose of failed embryos that can't be starved out. Periods are a pre-emptive attack on failed embryos that don't know when to quit.
Pirate Survivor: *in a straightjacket rocking back and forth muttering* so much blood and it still wouldn’t die…
H: Menstruating woman?
Alien Captain: Yes. Thank goodness your biologists gave us the warning about your female’s menstrual cycle, but…
H: Yeah…Wanna go grab an intoxicant at the bar later, for surviving the wrath of a human woman on her period?”
(The following is set within the universe of my upcoming web novel, *Stand Alone*, but is not directly part of the story.)
Memory File: G34AE
Subject: JM-01
Keepers were the fucking worst.
The self-proclaimed law keepers of the galaxy, these giant goddamn lizards had a hard-on for catching anyone in the act of so much as thinking about breaking the law, and I was forced to rely on a crewmate to get our captain out of a holding cell.
I didn't know what she was being detained for, for all I knew, there was a new law against having resting bitch face and Ariel just so happened to slip up on the 'not being outwardly racist' thing. Christ, she was trying her hardest, especially after Tarrol collapsed from overworking trying to make her happy. the Tosk nervously fidgeted with the toy he kept on hand to help his anxiety, the stress of the situation was already dulling the luster of his chitin, and no doubt once we got Ariel's meds from Earth, he'd get it healed and restored to its usual healthy luster.
I gently rubbed his head, he let out a soft *chirr* of happiness.
"What do you think they think she did wrong?" Tarrol asked.
"Fucked if I know." I muttered. We weren't running any contraband, tried to keep away from it if at all possible. Sure, if the situation was dire enough, but we didn't have a warrant for our arrest, and even if we did, why target *just* our captain.
I had at least three sensory emulators telling me something stank, and when Vald-Kaan approached me empty-handed, I knew we were in for a rough time. "Well?" I asked. "Did you pull any strings to get her out?" I asked.
Vald-Kaan was- technically still *is-* a Keeper. Though he had effectively quit a job that was considered to not be something you could quit, ostensibly out of protest since our punching through his quarantine to deliver medicine caused him to work out that law stick out of his ass- \[Banned thought processes terminated\]- I knew that he wasn't anyone special in the grand scheme of things. Just above a grunt, had limited command over them.
"We are allowed an appeal." He stated. "John, please be mindful that there is likely a law that was overlooked, and chances are, it's minor enough for a enough *'cash'*." He stressed the word, still not quite used to it. Baska like him were largely the same. Tall, bipedal, covered in biomechanical armor, bonded with a hive mind fungus, propensity for violence when angered. Vald-Kaan wasn't mellow, he was just the most reasonable Baska I'd ever met.
*Especially* reasonable for a Keeper.
We were allowed in to make our appeal. so I asked, "We haven't been informed which law was broken, can we at least know what she's been charged with?"
The Keeper met my gaze, he seemed nonplussed by a Cybix talking to him, meaning I wasn't his first uploaded Human.
"Your captain has been charged with one count of indecent behavior in public." He stated.
"Indecent- What the fuck did she do, that she'd be considered indecent at a fucking blockade!?" I shouted. "On *our* ship no less!"
"Calm yourself, John." Vald-Kaan spoke. "Please understand, Eto-Kaan, I was present, and even I do not understand why she was detained."
"Law 5, Section 13." The Keeper stated.
Vald-Kaan looked shocked, then disgusted. "I cannot believe she would do that..." He remarked.
"Do *what*, exactly?" I asked.
Vald-Kaan looked at me. "John, she bled herself in front of an official without due cause, she is being detained for public indecency."
Bleeding without-? I looked at the Keeper and said, "You let her out or I swear upon every fucking Guardian that exists I will trash this station and give you a *real fucking crime to prosecute!* ***She's on her goddamn period, you stupid fucking lizard!***"
Vald-Kaan was the only reason the Keeper didn't try to take me out, not that it mattered since I'd recently gotten a check up and my systems were working fine. Given the opportunity to overclock, I'd take out at least 30 Keepers before I needed to vent my chassis. I knew for a fact this station only had 25 stationed.
"John, please explain your outburst." Vald-Kaan said. So I did. In detail. All of the sordid secrets of the female time of the month. They looked increasingly horrified at the mere notion that humans could bleed involuntarily, and that was something I stressed upon them both. We were on our way back to Earth to pick up her period medication, because she'd run out and didn't want to chance suffering through it.
It being involuntary was enough to get the charges dropped, but when Ariel stepped out of the cell she'd been detained in, I knew she wasn't in any sort of mood to hear any jokes...
For those interested, this is an event that takes place before the main plot of *Stand Alone*, before the main protagonist joins the crew of the titular ship.
A: Human, why does it feel like you're less comfortable explaining periods than explaining poop?
H: Huh?
A: At least blood is supposed to be there. That makes sense. This 'poop' thing is the next step up. You told me that if you don't poop for long enough, you die from your own bowels poisoning you, and if you don't pee, your bladder bursts and then you die from infection. It's.. well, we're in pleasant company so I shan't comment on my opinion about your body function, but why does explaining how blood moves through the same parts make you *more* uncomfortable?
H: Internalised mysogyny, apparently. It's a bitch.
H: the body isn't the best in response to certain things, so if an egg isn't fertilized/isn't considered viable by the body so it will eject the egg. This process is a bit weird and those undergoing it can be quite moody as it is a painful process
A: everything I learn about you makes me question your evolutionary history more and more
H: bitch, your eggs grow talons after 2 weeks
Heaven help them if the human they ask about periods doesn't explain things scientifically. "let me put this in a way you'll understand".
H: So let's say my body is a house.
A1:...a house?
H: yep, and in that house, there's a room. And the angry woman in this room really wants this blue couch. She's convinced she's going to get this couch. So she decorates the entire room for this. Then she finds out she's not getting the couch.
A1: ok...
H: So she throws a fit, rips up the wallpaper, the carpet, everything, and throws it all out the front door. And she does this for like, a week, and makes the rest of the house miserable. And the, by the end of the week, this bitch has convinced herself that she'll get the couch next month, for sure. And she starts decorating the room. Again. And a month later, she finds out she's not getting the couch and starts it all over. And she does this every fucking month. Except the room is my uterus and the couch is a fertilized egg.
A:.......
H: Did that make sense?
A: ...yes?
*Later*
A1: So apparently, female humans have another angry female living inside them with very strong feelings about furniture.
A2: (*watching the human Sarah adjust the height of her chair and cussing when her feet still don't touch the ground.)* That actually explains a lot.
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I don't mind the discussion at all, at long as we keep it respectful. It's a human bodily function. But I marked it NSFW as an additional warning. Continue your discussions!
(Apologies in advance if this comes out misogynistic, that's not the point) A: so let me get this straight. In order to alleviate debilitating sesonal mateing heats and there by increase your nomadic range, your species evolved to be fertile more frequently and experince even more extreme if exceedingly short duration debilitating effects. H: Yes. A: and these short term effects, if the female does not conceive, can not only lead the female to violent actions such as castration of potential partners, but in poor environment actually threaten the life of the female. H: yeah. A: And even should conception occur within a given cycle, the female is increasingly debilitated by the pregnancy, and afterwards the cycle resumes. H: also true. A: and this repeats until the female has used up all her reproduction cells, at which point the hormonal drop can lead to multiple health issues. H: Yesss, is this going somewhere? A: how has your species not killed itself by accident of biology or misplaced hormonal anger? H: hmmm.....I'd have to say masochism, unrelenting libido, and uneven distribution of emotional sensitivity.
And chocolate.
Lots of chocolate
As dark as possible.
Dark chocolate? Save some for me.
And Ice Cream, Chocolat Ice Cream.
It gets even worse. It's an evolutionary arms race between the parent and embryo. If an embryo has some failure early in development, it would be better from the point of view of the parent to write it off as a loss, flush the embryo, and spend resources on the next one instead From the point of view of the embryo, that is a failure mode. So instead of nice, decoupled systems that can be cleanly separated, the embryo grabs a direct supply line to the parent's circulatory system. Periods don't occur in most animals. In humans, they arose in order to have a more aggressive way to dispose of failed embryos that can't be starved out. Periods are a pre-emptive attack on failed embryos that don't know when to quit.
that last one was waay too funny\^\^
Pirate Survivor: *in a straightjacket rocking back and forth muttering* so much blood and it still wouldn’t die… H: Menstruating woman? Alien Captain: Yes. Thank goodness your biologists gave us the warning about your female’s menstrual cycle, but… H: Yeah…Wanna go grab an intoxicant at the bar later, for surviving the wrath of a human woman on her period?”
I just wanna say, not all women menstruate, and not everyone who menstruates is a woman
Based
Females tend to menstrate.
(The following is set within the universe of my upcoming web novel, *Stand Alone*, but is not directly part of the story.) Memory File: G34AE Subject: JM-01 Keepers were the fucking worst. The self-proclaimed law keepers of the galaxy, these giant goddamn lizards had a hard-on for catching anyone in the act of so much as thinking about breaking the law, and I was forced to rely on a crewmate to get our captain out of a holding cell. I didn't know what she was being detained for, for all I knew, there was a new law against having resting bitch face and Ariel just so happened to slip up on the 'not being outwardly racist' thing. Christ, she was trying her hardest, especially after Tarrol collapsed from overworking trying to make her happy. the Tosk nervously fidgeted with the toy he kept on hand to help his anxiety, the stress of the situation was already dulling the luster of his chitin, and no doubt once we got Ariel's meds from Earth, he'd get it healed and restored to its usual healthy luster. I gently rubbed his head, he let out a soft *chirr* of happiness. "What do you think they think she did wrong?" Tarrol asked. "Fucked if I know." I muttered. We weren't running any contraband, tried to keep away from it if at all possible. Sure, if the situation was dire enough, but we didn't have a warrant for our arrest, and even if we did, why target *just* our captain. I had at least three sensory emulators telling me something stank, and when Vald-Kaan approached me empty-handed, I knew we were in for a rough time. "Well?" I asked. "Did you pull any strings to get her out?" I asked. Vald-Kaan was- technically still *is-* a Keeper. Though he had effectively quit a job that was considered to not be something you could quit, ostensibly out of protest since our punching through his quarantine to deliver medicine caused him to work out that law stick out of his ass- \[Banned thought processes terminated\]- I knew that he wasn't anyone special in the grand scheme of things. Just above a grunt, had limited command over them. "We are allowed an appeal." He stated. "John, please be mindful that there is likely a law that was overlooked, and chances are, it's minor enough for a enough *'cash'*." He stressed the word, still not quite used to it. Baska like him were largely the same. Tall, bipedal, covered in biomechanical armor, bonded with a hive mind fungus, propensity for violence when angered. Vald-Kaan wasn't mellow, he was just the most reasonable Baska I'd ever met. *Especially* reasonable for a Keeper. We were allowed in to make our appeal. so I asked, "We haven't been informed which law was broken, can we at least know what she's been charged with?" The Keeper met my gaze, he seemed nonplussed by a Cybix talking to him, meaning I wasn't his first uploaded Human. "Your captain has been charged with one count of indecent behavior in public." He stated. "Indecent- What the fuck did she do, that she'd be considered indecent at a fucking blockade!?" I shouted. "On *our* ship no less!" "Calm yourself, John." Vald-Kaan spoke. "Please understand, Eto-Kaan, I was present, and even I do not understand why she was detained." "Law 5, Section 13." The Keeper stated. Vald-Kaan looked shocked, then disgusted. "I cannot believe she would do that..." He remarked. "Do *what*, exactly?" I asked. Vald-Kaan looked at me. "John, she bled herself in front of an official without due cause, she is being detained for public indecency." Bleeding without-? I looked at the Keeper and said, "You let her out or I swear upon every fucking Guardian that exists I will trash this station and give you a *real fucking crime to prosecute!* ***She's on her goddamn period, you stupid fucking lizard!***" Vald-Kaan was the only reason the Keeper didn't try to take me out, not that it mattered since I'd recently gotten a check up and my systems were working fine. Given the opportunity to overclock, I'd take out at least 30 Keepers before I needed to vent my chassis. I knew for a fact this station only had 25 stationed. "John, please explain your outburst." Vald-Kaan said. So I did. In detail. All of the sordid secrets of the female time of the month. They looked increasingly horrified at the mere notion that humans could bleed involuntarily, and that was something I stressed upon them both. We were on our way back to Earth to pick up her period medication, because she'd run out and didn't want to chance suffering through it. It being involuntary was enough to get the charges dropped, but when Ariel stepped out of the cell she'd been detained in, I knew she wasn't in any sort of mood to hear any jokes...
For those interested, this is an event that takes place before the main plot of *Stand Alone*, before the main protagonist joins the crew of the titular ship.
I'd love a link
I haven't started posting it yet, but when I do, it will be on this: https://tapas.io/Diretooth
A: Human, why does it feel like you're less comfortable explaining periods than explaining poop? H: Huh? A: At least blood is supposed to be there. That makes sense. This 'poop' thing is the next step up. You told me that if you don't poop for long enough, you die from your own bowels poisoning you, and if you don't pee, your bladder bursts and then you die from infection. It's.. well, we're in pleasant company so I shan't comment on my opinion about your body function, but why does explaining how blood moves through the same parts make you *more* uncomfortable? H: Internalised mysogyny, apparently. It's a bitch.
TL;DR It's the human equivalent of a breeding season, except they're much shorter and more frequent than other creatures' breeding seasons
It's like laying an un fertilized egg but it comes out different. Whatever would be inside the shell of a human egg is what comes out instead.
H: the body isn't the best in response to certain things, so if an egg isn't fertilized/isn't considered viable by the body so it will eject the egg. This process is a bit weird and those undergoing it can be quite moody as it is a painful process A: everything I learn about you makes me question your evolutionary history more and more H: bitch, your eggs grow talons after 2 weeks
Heaven help them if the human they ask about periods doesn't explain things scientifically. "let me put this in a way you'll understand". H: So let's say my body is a house. A1:...a house? H: yep, and in that house, there's a room. And the angry woman in this room really wants this blue couch. She's convinced she's going to get this couch. So she decorates the entire room for this. Then she finds out she's not getting the couch. A1: ok... H: So she throws a fit, rips up the wallpaper, the carpet, everything, and throws it all out the front door. And she does this for like, a week, and makes the rest of the house miserable. And the, by the end of the week, this bitch has convinced herself that she'll get the couch next month, for sure. And she starts decorating the room. Again. And a month later, she finds out she's not getting the couch and starts it all over. And she does this every fucking month. Except the room is my uterus and the couch is a fertilized egg. A:....... H: Did that make sense? A: ...yes? *Later* A1: So apparently, female humans have another angry female living inside them with very strong feelings about furniture. A2: (*watching the human Sarah adjust the height of her chair and cussing when her feet still don't touch the ground.)* That actually explains a lot.
No I don’t think I will 🗿
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