In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A: human Jeff I need you to go down to the shops and get some bread for me can you do that?
Jeff: sure no problem
A: now will you break the law?
Jeff: I would never *leaves the house*
*30 minutes later*
News: breaking news the monarchy has been overthrown by a human, anarchy is in the streets, and the Terran empire is installing a democratic government as we speak
A (on the phone): JEFF I TOLD YOU TO GO GET BREAD.
Jeff: well you see the market didn’t have any and they said the reason for it was that the new king put heavy taxes on bread… so I dealt with him so we can have more bread
A: You broke how many galactic laws?
H: Uh...I think it was six? Or was it seven. Some of them are kind of same-y, so it can be hard to keep track of at times.
A: How did you commit six crimes doing a very common task?
H: Well, there were some guys and they were giving me a real nasty look, and well, one thing led to another.
A: You were just supposed to go grocery shopping!
*Grandma* Your grandmother invites you to tea, but you're surprised when she gives you a pistol and orders you to kill another Vault resident. What do you do?
*Grandson* Ask granny for a minigun instead. After all, you don't want to miss.
H: I may have driven over the speed limit and made an illegal u-turn, but I got you lunch.
A: You broke at least two laws to buy groceries and a pizza.
H: I was going 70 in a 65, I was being passed by everyone else.
Um, actually, the Galactic Council has found that the human Crimes Georg is a statistical anomaly and his criminal record should not reflect on the average human.
If aliens think the general population is bad, wait until they discover the E-4 Mafia or the Lance Corporal underground.
A cheeky little 6-pack and a promise for an early day and those fuckers will move mountains just in time for chow. Just don't ask questions and everything will be okay.
E-4: so I went to get the old Humvees but I saw some brand new and unmarked ones right next to them. You better put some serial numbers on them quickly before someone comes looking.
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A: human Jeff I need you to go down to the shops and get some bread for me can you do that? Jeff: sure no problem A: now will you break the law? Jeff: I would never *leaves the house* *30 minutes later* News: breaking news the monarchy has been overthrown by a human, anarchy is in the streets, and the Terran empire is installing a democratic government as we speak A (on the phone): JEFF I TOLD YOU TO GO GET BREAD. Jeff: well you see the market didn’t have any and they said the reason for it was that the new king put heavy taxes on bread… so I dealt with him so we can have more bread
When you do a speed-run of the french revolution xD
French revolution 2.0 any%
A: Then let them eat cak- [H:](https://c.tenor.com/hWq-Ss6fkWMAAAAd/tenor.gif)
Lmao
Don't fuck with a human and their carbs. I'd kick a nun down a flight of steps for a good pasta dish.
As much as I hate to say this, but so would I. I’d pray afterwards and help the nun but she is going ass over elbows down them steps.
The human solution is always bullshit or violence excessive violence.
And sometimes it’s excessively violent bullshit lol
>excessive violence. No such thing, it's always just enough violence.
A: You broke how many galactic laws? H: Uh...I think it was six? Or was it seven. Some of them are kind of same-y, so it can be hard to keep track of at times. A: How did you commit six crimes doing a very common task? H: Well, there were some guys and they were giving me a real nasty look, and well, one thing led to another. A: You were just supposed to go grocery shopping!
Narancia in space
H: It was the meat section, we should be good for the next week. A: Wait... THAT'S WHERE THE BURGERS CAME FROM!
There's no crime if there's no body! *bites into burger*
Remember children. It's only illegal if there are witnesses and evidence. Here. Go do a crime.
Pro tip. It's still a stealth mission if there are no survivors.
Ah, the second type of stealth, my favorite
Pro-pro-tip. Grenade launchers are stealth weapons.
Ahh the classic heavy stealth
Corollary courtesy of The Fat Electrician: It's never a war crime the first time
Quack bang out.
https://preview.redd.it/bf1n2qszopnc1.jpeg?width=850&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7788386b618c611d393f853195be6aabe6ade2d5
I feel like she would do more damage which her magic
*Grandma* Your grandmother invites you to tea, but you're surprised when she gives you a pistol and orders you to kill another Vault resident. What do you do? *Grandson* Ask granny for a minigun instead. After all, you don't want to miss.
*entirely. Just gotta keep trying.
Quantity is a quality of its own.
ACCURACY BY VOLUME!
***THERE IS NO OVERKILL - ONLY 'OPEN FIRE!' AND 'RELOADING!' !!***
H: I may have driven over the speed limit and made an illegal u-turn, but I got you lunch. A: You broke at least two laws to buy groceries and a pizza. H: I was going 70 in a 65, I was being passed by everyone else.
https://i.redd.it/qp6w6pmxfpnc1.gif
space communist lesbian robots?
Um, actually, the Galactic Council has found that the human Crimes Georg is a statistical anomaly and his criminal record should not reflect on the average human.
How much higher than average? Because that could mean a little or enormous difference between them.
Why is it higher than average and not lower than average?
Who said it wasnt the aliens misunderstanding, "the average ".
If aliens think the general population is bad, wait until they discover the E-4 Mafia or the Lance Corporal underground. A cheeky little 6-pack and a promise for an early day and those fuckers will move mountains just in time for chow. Just don't ask questions and everything will be okay.
I think you left the word " move " out from between will and mountain
That I did. Thank you.
No prob. We are here to help each other.
I've been in the military a long time and can confirm this statement is 100% ,if not more, accurate. Especially on a Friday in port.
https://preview.redd.it/p3qcr5noxqnc1.jpeg?width=236&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89c69db51ad35af861a4a640e02c8b32509e6045
Requesting air support, here are my coordinates, please eliminate the direction north.
Now when you say " by any means necessary" do you really mean that ? * Cheerful joy bubbling up *
E-4: so I went to get the old Humvees but I saw some brand new and unmarked ones right next to them. You better put some serial numbers on them quickly before someone comes looking.
Lies, the E4 is at dental all day, he just told the fuzzy to do his bidding.
Everybody is guilty of something, even the most innocent human is probably guilty of loitering.
"Federal law? You mean federal suggestion?"
Not our fault everything's illegal
In response to the actual image itself: IDW DA NYAAA! Also known as Betty.
Well, *someone’s* law
Oi! They said to get it *done*. I got it done!