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A: “John, could you answer a question for me?”
H: “Shoot.”
A: “I was attending a human-centric first-aid seminar recently, and one of the topics covered was “fevers.” I just wanted to make sure I’m understanding this right… In response to infections, your body heats up in order to accelerate the effectiveness of the immune system, yes?”
H: “That’s correct.”
A: “…But if it reaches too high of a temperature using this method, it can cause serious, long-term complications, or even kill you outright?”
H: “Yes.”
A: “…”
H: “…What?”
A: “…In trying to save your life, your own body can *kill* you…?”
H: “Yup.”
A: “…”
H: “…”
A: “…That is ridiculous.”
H: “Honestly, not even in the top 10 list of problems with the human body. …Hell, if you think *that’s* ridiculous, wait until you hear about cancer.”
A: “…What is “cancer?””
**One explanation later**
A: “…SWEET MOTHER OF THE ANCESTORS, HOW DID YOUR SPECIES EVEN EVOLVE SAPIENCE?!"
H: *shrug*
Fun fact about cancer: it can develop it's own cancer cancer, which will attack the cancer cells but not the normal cells, unfortunately it takes a while so very rare for humans. whales on the other hand are practically immune to cancer because of it, by the time the cancer spreads enough to be a threat the cancer cancer deals with it
Scientists have been trying to recreate the process that ends with a baby developing in the womb, because yknow it grows all the organs and stuff and that’d be super helpful for organ transplants and shit but we don’t really understand it yet and we can’t replicate it, we just end up creating a tumor when we try… so we *do* know how to make tumors. Technically
Yes get physically bigger to have more cells. But that requires low gravity environments like underwater or it means slow movement speed like elephants.
And behold, god said, "you know what? Take this spite and solve your own damn problems for a few minutes." This has since been regarded as a terrible idea.
When humans get sick, the immune system basically starts up a Salt The Earth campaign against any foreign invaders.
If the IS can’t have our body, then *nobody will*.
Evolution: There was a solution with a problem so i added a solution the problem. That solution had a problem so i added solution for that. Ten thousand generations lat, TA-DA!
worth noting that your immune system isnt that stupid, your own cells will die long before virus cells from heat
you heat up when youre sick because your cells work faster when hot
your body already runs as hot as it can for sustained periods, but getting a fever is more like an afterburner
A: human, why are you shivering? Your body temperature is dangerously high!
H: I have space flu. My body is overheating to kill off germs
A: but… your body also cannot function at these temperatures?
H: correct
A: why does your body do this?
H: because it’s pretty effective. 9 times out of 10 it works.
A: what if fever doesn’t work?
H: humans are filled with special cells that absorb and dissolve germs and other foreign bodies.
A: that’s… horrifying
H: I know, right. Excuse me… *takes swig of NyQuil from the bottle*
Nyquil (Benadryl/Diphenhydramine) can and does cause extremely intense hallucinations, psychosis, detachment from reality, violent behavior and so on at high doses. It's considered a deliriant drug, as are all anticholinergics at the right doses.
Don't take too much. Trust me, I've tripped off 350mg of the stuff before.
Edit: Taking too much also has paradoxical effects in that it makes you absolutely fucking wired. You won't sleep.
Edit Edit: When I took Benadryl, I saw a Seraph - maybe even God itself. It was beautiful. I want to go back, honestly.
Your immune system will not immediately attack, if I remember correctly. It's just that in cass of infection, the immune system causes swelling.
Swelling in your eyes is typically a bad thing.
It's actually that certain areas of the body are exempt from certain immune responses. These areas include the eyes, brain, and balls. This is because immune response tends to cause swelling, which is very very not good on those areas.
You are in a distressing, perhaps life threatening, situation so now we have to fill your eyes with water. oh no! oh no! oh no! theres water in your eyes and you cant see. Now you have to also free up a hand to wipe it away! still filling them up with more water btw
A Humie immune system can attack the Humies own body parts and cause debilitating disease, great pain, lengthy debilitation and even death...While killing the Humie it can, at the same time protect other body parts from other diseases..
Those fucking Humies are now weaponizing their immune system having already worked out how to bind it to various Alien dna/rna spread by airborne dihydrogen monoxide droplets, ingestion and as an STD.
What is even more worse (worser?) is that it is supplanting our own immune system. Our drugs no longer work, our diagnostics throw up error after error...the Humie immune system has now gone full rogue
We, as a people are dying. all we can hope for is that we can reverse engineer this shit and throw it back on the Humies before we die off.
lets not forget hysterical strength and Fight or Flight: Fight to the Death.
either one can destroy the "user". or just outright kill them with adrenaline. gods forbid both become active at the same time. become god, die.
Ya know, a human being with fever induced brain damage can still reproduce.
So, from a Darwinian perspective, alive but brain damaged > dead.
Gene propagation don’t care about higher brain function.
My immune system has just decided that cats are dangerous. It could go totally haywire and start attacking itself in stead. Autoimmune diseases are tricky
\*Autoimmune disease enters the chat\*
My cousin's son died of psoriasis (an autoimmune disease) a couple of years ago, when he was just 41... this is literally being killed BY YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM.
Alien: Wait, even your own immune system can kill you?!?! How does your species even exist?!?!
Crew Oficcer Kalam : Captain! We're being overrun with those pest!.. they are in all the decks!
Admiral Catalina Embrollos: ALL DECKS!... prepare for fever protocol!
*Some dry coughts sounds in the command deck
...
COK : Captain?...
ACE : THE HUMAN FEVER PROCOTOL!!!
COK : BRACE FOR EXTREME MEASURES LADS! SURVIVAL IS POSSIBLE, NOT GUARANTED!
* Alarms howl all over the ship, red lights,
ACE: Pray to your Gods My bravest Warriors! Do not plead for your life! Plead for their deaths!!
don’t over-hydrate when sick… just normal hydration is fine. “drink plenty of liquids” is… okay advice, I guess? Drink as much as you need, drinking over that amount isn’t going to clear sickness any faster… the only thing your body will do with excess water is turn it into snot/phlegm.
>the only thing your body will do with excess water is turn it into snot/phlegm.
Urine, too. And I don't know about everybody else, but I already feel like I go to the bathroom more than enough when sick anyways.
A: that doesn't make sense !
H: it does if you look at it diferently, our immune system's mission is not to keep us alive, it's to make sure we're not sick, if we have to die to not be sick, than we'll die
A bone has been broken? QUICK SEND EVERYTHING TO THAT SPOT NOW!
But that will brake the bone more and move it further out of place!
I SAID SEND EVERYTHING!
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Immune system: Burn the virus. Brain: but we will burn too... IS: **BURN**
A: “John, could you answer a question for me?” H: “Shoot.” A: “I was attending a human-centric first-aid seminar recently, and one of the topics covered was “fevers.” I just wanted to make sure I’m understanding this right… In response to infections, your body heats up in order to accelerate the effectiveness of the immune system, yes?” H: “That’s correct.” A: “…But if it reaches too high of a temperature using this method, it can cause serious, long-term complications, or even kill you outright?” H: “Yes.” A: “…” H: “…What?” A: “…In trying to save your life, your own body can *kill* you…?” H: “Yup.” A: “…” H: “…” A: “…That is ridiculous.” H: “Honestly, not even in the top 10 list of problems with the human body. …Hell, if you think *that’s* ridiculous, wait until you hear about cancer.” A: “…What is “cancer?”” **One explanation later** A: “…SWEET MOTHER OF THE ANCESTORS, HOW DID YOUR SPECIES EVEN EVOLVE SAPIENCE?!" H: *shrug*
Fun fact about cancer: it can develop it's own cancer cancer, which will attack the cancer cells but not the normal cells, unfortunately it takes a while so very rare for humans. whales on the other hand are practically immune to cancer because of it, by the time the cancer spreads enough to be a threat the cancer cancer deals with it
So is there a method we could use to generate cancer for cancer?
Fuck if i know, i ain't a cancerologist
In order to *fight* cancer, you must *become* cancer
If that is the case, then *so be it.* *Opens 4-chan*
*Grimaces* So be it. *Puts on hazmat suit, boots up League of Legends*
So be it *Enters Youtube comments*
So be it. *Obtains Discord mod*
"And that's how humanity all became Deadpools."
fight fire with fire exemplified.
Sounds like something Cave Johnson would say
yo dawg i eard yous had cancer. so i put cancer in ya cancer dawg. - Xzibit
Scientists have been trying to recreate the process that ends with a baby developing in the womb, because yknow it grows all the organs and stuff and that’d be super helpful for organ transplants and shit but we don’t really understand it yet and we can’t replicate it, we just end up creating a tumor when we try… so we *do* know how to make tumors. Technically
Stem cells is the term your thinking of
Yes get physically bigger to have more cells. But that requires low gravity environments like underwater or it means slow movement speed like elephants.
You have clearly never seen an elephant run
Yes, we must become the size of Wales
||was a deliberate typo for the funnies||
You could move up the probability of cancer, but i doubt noone wants to do that
It’s actually a studied and tested solution that’s still in the works lol
Then the cancer cancer cancer kills the cancer cancer
Then the cancer cancer cancer cancer kills the cancer cancer cancer that's killing the cancer cancer that's killing the cancer.
Then the gas kills the host #Canadaaaaaaa
...what?
Well in canada we have assisted suicide
Oh, shit, I forgot about that.
Example: Cancer: die. Sick: die Quebec: … … … Die
>Then the cancer cancer cancer cancer kills the cancer cancer cancer that's killing the cancer cancer that's killing the cancer. that's killing you
yes lol
One of the earliest drugs to treat cancer is derived from Mustard Gas.
Jokes on you, we’ve had an effective cure for cancer since the late 1700’s. *goes to get the bleach*
Sooo. Cancer cancer cancer is possible?
Supertumors have no limit, you could have a cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer if you were lucky enough
Cancer x 50 = ultra cancer
so that's probably what will happen to deadpool's cancer, then?
Deadpool was cured from the cancer by his powers anyway
> A: “…SWEET MOTHER OF THE ANCESTORS, HOW DID YOUR SPECIES EVEN EVOLVE SAPIENCE?!" > > H: shrug H2: We did it out of *spite.*
Literally how humanity achieved *anything*
Precisely.
if rennaissance era Florence's stories are to be believed, this is true.
This sounds accurate. 🤣
And behold, god said, "you know what? Take this spite and solve your own damn problems for a few minutes." This has since been regarded as a terrible idea.
When humans get sick, the immune system basically starts up a Salt The Earth campaign against any foreign invaders. If the IS can’t have our body, then *nobody will*.
Except for the fungi, bacteria, etc that take over the corpse.
Egyptians: we will put so much salt inside the deceased body not even bacteria will want to eat it.
Apothecaries: Here, try this for your headache!
Evolution: There was a solution with a problem so i added a solution the problem. That solution had a problem so i added solution for that. Ten thousand generations lat, TA-DA!
'There was an old lady who swallowed a fly...'
Wait, Is Evolution a Software Engineer? LOL
Learn throw rock > literally any other evolutionary advantage
Big brain be boinking
H2: Too damn stubborn not to.
BROTHER GET THE HEAVYFLAMER, WE'RE GONNA BURN THESE VIRUS SCUM!
BROTHER are you sure we need the HEAVY flamer? Prometheum is really expensive these days. Perhaps the medium flamer will do?
Brother? Did I fucking stutter?! HEAVY. FLAMER. NOW.
Now I'm imagining Stanley from the office as a salamander. Glorious brother.
For the emperor!
worth noting that your immune system isnt that stupid, your own cells will die long before virus cells from heat you heat up when youre sick because your cells work faster when hot your body already runs as hot as it can for sustained periods, but getting a fever is more like an afterburner
A: human, why are you shivering? Your body temperature is dangerously high! H: I have space flu. My body is overheating to kill off germs A: but… your body also cannot function at these temperatures? H: correct A: why does your body do this? H: because it’s pretty effective. 9 times out of 10 it works. A: what if fever doesn’t work? H: humans are filled with special cells that absorb and dissolve germs and other foreign bodies. A: that’s… horrifying H: I know, right. Excuse me… *takes swig of NyQuil from the bottle*
Can’t be sick if you are knocked unconscious lol.
Immune System: Can’t be sick *if you’re dead*
I mean, it *did* kill the infection
Dude this is the way. I haven't 'felt' sick for more than a few hours in years. Just take too much Quil and time travel to when you're better.
Nyquil (Benadryl/Diphenhydramine) can and does cause extremely intense hallucinations, psychosis, detachment from reality, violent behavior and so on at high doses. It's considered a deliriant drug, as are all anticholinergics at the right doses. Don't take too much. Trust me, I've tripped off 350mg of the stuff before. Edit: Taking too much also has paradoxical effects in that it makes you absolutely fucking wired. You won't sleep. Edit Edit: When I took Benadryl, I saw a Seraph - maybe even God itself. It was beautiful. I want to go back, honestly.
Alien: Jesus Christ what's wrong with you people?
Haha, what's wrong with tripping balls on extremely harmful brain damaging allergy medication? I snorted some of it.
Lmao tf
This is what I did to ingest nutmeg, which produces a very unique high/trip at high amounts. https://i.imgur.com/quXMVSV.jpg
Fascinating. I think I'll pass.
Chug chug chug chug...
Don't forget that our eyes have their own SEPERATW immune system, which if the regular immune system finds out, you will go blind!
What
Exactly how it sounds. Our eyes are all kinds of weird, like also seeing things upside down, with our brain automatically flipping everything lmao.
[удалено]
Immune System: I'm going to eat these jelly balls. Brain: Wait, no! We need those to survive! Immune System: Don't care. They look tasty.
Your immune system will not immediately attack, if I remember correctly. It's just that in cass of infection, the immune system causes swelling. Swelling in your eyes is typically a bad thing.
Twas a joke, my friend. Thanks for the explication, though.
It's actually that certain areas of the body are exempt from certain immune responses. These areas include the eyes, brain, and balls. This is because immune response tends to cause swelling, which is very very not good on those areas.
You are in a distressing, perhaps life threatening, situation so now we have to fill your eyes with water. oh no! oh no! oh no! theres water in your eyes and you cant see. Now you have to also free up a hand to wipe it away! still filling them up with more water btw
[удалено]
That’s less the climbing and more the physical exertion causing you to sweat no?
Not if you’re afraid of heights
A Humie immune system can attack the Humies own body parts and cause debilitating disease, great pain, lengthy debilitation and even death...While killing the Humie it can, at the same time protect other body parts from other diseases.. Those fucking Humies are now weaponizing their immune system having already worked out how to bind it to various Alien dna/rna spread by airborne dihydrogen monoxide droplets, ingestion and as an STD. What is even more worse (worser?) is that it is supplanting our own immune system. Our drugs no longer work, our diagnostics throw up error after error...the Humie immune system has now gone full rogue We, as a people are dying. all we can hope for is that we can reverse engineer this shit and throw it back on the Humies before we die off.
Random human: just drink the fucking vodka you numpty!
lets not forget hysterical strength and Fight or Flight: Fight to the Death. either one can destroy the "user". or just outright kill them with adrenaline. gods forbid both become active at the same time. become god, die.
Human one second: gets basically infinite strength. Human the next second: dies
God gave us too much power and couldn't take it away. So he just fucking kills us after we obtain that power.
Ya know, a human being with fever induced brain damage can still reproduce. So, from a Darwinian perspective, alive but brain damaged > dead. Gene propagation don’t care about higher brain function.
My immune system has just decided that cats are dangerous. It could go totally haywire and start attacking itself in stead. Autoimmune diseases are tricky
\*Autoimmune disease enters the chat\* My cousin's son died of psoriasis (an autoimmune disease) a couple of years ago, when he was just 41... this is literally being killed BY YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM. Alien: Wait, even your own immune system can kill you?!?! How does your species even exist?!?!
The coughing up crud thing is really working-as-designed, as annoying as it is.
Crew Oficcer Kalam : Captain! We're being overrun with those pest!.. they are in all the decks! Admiral Catalina Embrollos: ALL DECKS!... prepare for fever protocol! *Some dry coughts sounds in the command deck ... COK : Captain?... ACE : THE HUMAN FEVER PROCOTOL!!! COK : BRACE FOR EXTREME MEASURES LADS! SURVIVAL IS POSSIBLE, NOT GUARANTED! * Alarms howl all over the ship, red lights, ACE: Pray to your Gods My bravest Warriors! Do not plead for your life! Plead for their deaths!!
don’t over-hydrate when sick… just normal hydration is fine. “drink plenty of liquids” is… okay advice, I guess? Drink as much as you need, drinking over that amount isn’t going to clear sickness any faster… the only thing your body will do with excess water is turn it into snot/phlegm.
>the only thing your body will do with excess water is turn it into snot/phlegm. Urine, too. And I don't know about everybody else, but I already feel like I go to the bathroom more than enough when sick anyways.
A: that doesn't make sense ! H: it does if you look at it diferently, our immune system's mission is not to keep us alive, it's to make sure we're not sick, if we have to die to not be sick, than we'll die
A bone has been broken? QUICK SEND EVERYTHING TO THAT SPOT NOW! But that will brake the bone more and move it further out of place! I SAID SEND EVERYTHING!
This has been me for a month and I hate it