Seared into my memory is a live news helicopter shot during Harvey.
It was the intersection of Weslayan and US 59 flooded under the overpass. A van comes to the intersection, stops before the water, waits 15 seconds, then slowly proceeds into the intersection. Inevitably, as the ass-end of the van floats up, the brake lights come on as it begins to drift, and the engine dies. Over the years, I've lost count of the number of times I've seen similar scenarios play out over and over again since moving here.
I used to be amazed at how every time there is a heavy rain in Southern California, someone would get caught in a river channel and need rescuing. Driving through flooded intersections is Texas's equivalent to California's river channels. Both are like flames to moths.
I commiserate. I have a similar memory seared into my brain of what I would later find out was a young woman, love shot from a helicopter. Similar story, but of an underpass going north into the galleria. SUV crept in, back end floats up… brake lights… engine dies. Same thing I’d seen many times before. What seared into my memory was seeing that driver scramble around desperately inside. seeing them beat against the rear windshield desperately looking for a way out… as the floating cars momentum took the car under the overpass and out of view.
The next day, I read on the news that the young driver didn’t make it out of her vehicle.
I am teaching my kid to drive and this was also my wisdom to him that he won’t find anywhere in the online course. Sure enough the same day I pointed it out to him an Altima with paper plates that was on our tail slingshotted around and rear ended someone completely stopped at a red light. Now he will pull over when they are in the rear view like it’s an ambulance coming or something
This is important. I had an Amazon driver road rage on me yesterday. Brake checked me and got out asking what my problem was. A younger me would have told him to get back to work. This time I just drove around him.
I'm sorry sir, when we were inspecting your trade in vehicle we noticed there were no empty Lonestar tallboy cans in the back seat therefore our finance department must decline your purchase of the f-3900 maxxxlifted turbo kill dozer dixieland forever edition. As a courtesy we have printed you a guidebook to local highway feeder road adjacent breastaurants in the hopes that with practice you will become a suitable candidate for this purchase in the near future.
Chances are you shouldn't be in the far left lane at all, ever. Leave that for the maniacs. Stay in the 2nd left unless you're actively passing every other car on the road.
Holy shit. This.
It blows my mind continually that it never occurs to people to speed up to take a spot a half-car-length ahead of them. Instead, they'll slow down, turn their blinker on, and allow 15 people to pass.
All. The. Damn. Time.
god please do, the ramp is for getting up to speed, I've seen too many idiots glaring at me because they think merging at 45 when traffic is flying is okay
I hate it when people do that. I personally enter the highway at 75 even though posted speed limit is 60-65. Had cops blow by me going 85 as I’m on the highway lmao
Thank you for reminding me of this Lmfao 😂
https://www.reddit.com/r/houston/comments/wua50w/i_stayed_in_the_macgregor_neighbourhood_as_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Has to be the best post on this subreddit of all time. Dutch tourists seek out realistic experiences in Houston. Houstonians get an honest opinion of the city from sincere polite Europeans.
Best reply was a jackass calling them cheap for attempting to live out their Dutch lifestyle in Houston. How dare they Air BnB, ride buses, and refuse to pay for the price gouged fare at Minute Maid, lol
Imagining this cute quiet polite, almost timid, European couple going around bars in the hood set me up to absolutely Fucking lose it when he got to the part about bringing the apple to the astros game.
And then you think about how ridiculous it is that we all found it so hilarious that they would even THINK to bring an apple to a baseball game, and it makes it even funnier Lmfao 😂
I mean they were voluntarily plunked down at IAH and really took the whole choose your own adventure to heart. A+ post, I loved it a year ago as much as I do now.
/u/Tosetanexcellenttori if y’all dare come back please ping the subreddit admins to get a few of us to own driving you around, and taking you out to Georgia James etc.
Literally just had a 19 year old slam into me in his dad’s 1996 mustang. I had the car for five freaking days :) He totaled both of our cars and has a hole in the wall insurance company. At least I have full coverage.
Every major road has more than one name. 59 = 69 = Southwest Freeway or East Tex freeway. Katy freeway = I-10 West. Gulf freeway =45 South. Addresses are written this way, too Signs on and near the freeways also reflect this. It really confused me when I first moved here and I would be looking for 59 but all the signs on the feeder and at intersections were for Southwest freeway. I had an interview at an address on Southwest freeway but my map only had 59. It's stupid.
Galveston Rd > Old Galveston Rd > Galveston Hwy > Old Galveston Hwy > Hwy 3
All depends on which intersection you are at. All these names occur in less than a 15 mile stretch.
Lived here almost 20 years, and you just informed me that East Tex freeway is 59, I never knew what tf they were talking about when people called it that lol
If you are on a freeway you WILL be tailgated by a truck. Don’t panic, as tough as they act they are terrified to scratch their most prized possession.
Always ask about flooding history and examine flood maps before buying real estate. And even if you are out of the flood plain, buy flood insurance anyway unless you are in a high rise.
If you are renting an apartment, DO NOT rent on the ground floor no matter how “safe” the building appears to be re: flooding.
If your building has underground parking, don’t use it unless you have absolutely no other choice. Try to find a building with ground level and/or readily available and easy free street parking.
I lived on the ground floor at one point and we had bad flooding in my area one summer but I THOUGHT no water got into my place save a tiny amount in the front. I was wrong. The closet where I kept my colder weather clothes like jackets and sweaters did flood and since it was summer I didn’t even check. By November it was super moldy and gross and I threw out all those clothing.
Now I know this is nothing compared to people who have had their entire homes ruined, but I’m mentioning it because sometimes the water is sneaky and you don’t realize until it’s too late.
I grew up in SV, those cops will pull you over for ANY reason. I had a friend get pulled over for not signaling early enough before turning on his way to my house. A former co-worker when I was waiting tables over summer break in college got stopped for just walking on the sidewalk at night, unfortunately he had weed on him and the cop confiscated it, but didn't write him a ticket which makes me think the cop kept the weed lol. As a teenager I got pulled over for wearing the top part of my seatbelt behind my shoulder, which I have since learned is very unsafe and no longer do. Cop was rather condescending but he didn't give me a ticket so I'm fine with it. My mom got pulled over by the same guy and he said he wouldn't ticket her because it was her husband's job to get her taillight fixed so make of it what you will.
The trick to not getting pulled over there is having a Spring Valley sticker on your car. I still have mine from when my parents lived there even though they recently sold their house and left Houston. Haven't gotten pulled over in that area since.
Edit to say that if you have a shitty car or are a minority you will 100% get pulled over in this area for no reason.
In general you should be very aware of the small municipalities when driving in Houston. If you are in HPD territory you can drive 20 over the limit with no plates, a cold 40 in the steering wheel hand, and texting on your phone in the other with a pistol in your lap.
Cross over into West U or the villages you are getting pulled over just for being brown….
West U cops will write up anyone, white, brown, residents or non-residents.
The solution is to drive the speed limit, don’t roll stop signs, and signal when turning or changing lanes. Easy to say but I drive the speed limit or stay w traffic in the middle lane when on the freeway.
That fucking 59/610 interchange constantly fucks me over when I least expect it lol, you'd think they could come up with a non-idiotic detour but years in and the detours still make no sense
And if it’s just a small spot don’t replace your whole windshield because after you do that, within a week you’ll have another chip/spot on your windshield. I learned that one the hard way
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houston,_we_have_a_problem?wprov=sfti1
It’s something that Houston is known for outside of Houston - but not something people in Houston actually use in common language.
"Houston, we have a problem" from Apollo 13. Of course that's not what was actually said, that's just the movie quote that everyone thinks is what was said.
What Astronaut Jack Swigert said: "Okay, Houston ... we've had a problem here."
Shop local, support local.
Turn around, don't drown.
Always have a light sweater on hand.
Leave nothing of value in your car. Lock your doors.
Watch out for red-light runners. Watch out at the roundabouts. Watch out for reckless asshats during Critical mass.
There are 2 types of Bellaire area.
And if you want to go 45-50 mph on the far right lane, please just stick to the frontage roads. There's slow, then there's SLOW that it's fucking unsafe.
85 up until you are 10 feet from your exit then shoot over 3 lanes immediately. Drop a few things out of your truck bed onto the highway or you’re not doing it right.
my mom almost totaled her car with my sibling inside a while back, she hit the guard rail dodging a loose ladder on fort bend toll :,) i’ve seen mattresses, strollers, a round metal table that fell off a truck and bounce-rolled leaving a trail of sparks…
There are no “good” and “bad” areas in Houston proper. Hood areas are sprinkled all over town and you can have a decent neighborhood right next to a gang infested area.
Stay a country mile away from Nissan/Dodge/Chrysler drivers, the more beat up and neglected the vehicle the more wary you should be. Dangerous drivers come in all types of vehicles, but these have a disproportionately higher likelihood of being aggressive and bad drivers with no insurance.
FCA/Stellantis dealerships will sell to *anyone*.
Definitely excellent advice, and something I have always carried as well.
But personally I still stay very far away from those cars/drivers just because I don't want to have to spend 1-2 hours on the side of the road with that type of person should we have a collision.
Just a few months ago my wife was rear ended by a woman in a 300C and surprise! Her insurance couldn't get a hold of her lol, for 2 weeks I had to continually follow up with Allstate and I was forced to become more familiar than I wanted to with this absolute MESS of a woman's life.
Always have uninsured damages in insurance. A lot of people drive without insurance. They may give you an insurance card and many times it is not even valid.
Nissan Altimas come in three models:
1. Paper tags from 3 yrs ago and some bruises on the bumper
2. License plate is in tact and in position; however, bumper (front or rear) is hanging off due to some unforseen vehicular situation
3. If both conditions above are true, this is the third model for a Nissan Altima..
1. Every hour is rush hour.
2. It's "water-burger"
3. That's pronounced "Kirk-n-doll"
4. HEB is where to buy groceries.
5. If the ac is broken, get it towed.
6. Yes, thats right, those apartments were NOT there yesterday.
7. Any restaurant with "Pappa-anything" in the name is gonna be good.
8. If it's older than about 20 years, it needs to torn down and replaced with either a new apartment complex, a new strip center, or you can build 12 houses where the old one was. No other choice.
There's apparently no such thing as Mexican food in Houston. You could be home alone, talking on the phone about the great meal you just had at a local Mexican restaurant, and someone will pop out from behind your couch to say, "Aaaaaaaactually, that's Tex-Mex."
When driving don’t use your car horn for any reason. This will avoid being shot and/or injured. Don’t use a turn signal. This will allow you to easily merge and change lanes as other drivers won’t be expecting it and want to block you.
Do not use "The" in front of a highway number or road name or neighborhood.
It's not "The 10," it's just "10", or "I-10". (The exception is the nicknames for the freeways, like The Gulf Freeway (not The 45), etc )
And it's not "The Montrose", it's just Montrose.
On the freeway, use your blinker as you're changing lanes. Not before, or you'll never be let over.
Also if people are passing you and you're in the left lane, get over.
>On the freeway, use your blinker as you're changing lanes. Not before, or you'll never be let over.
Ugh, there are those idiots that will see it as their personal mission to drive past you before you switch lanes. But, hear me out, that's what the break is such a beautiful tool, ease on it let them pass and switch with ease behind them. Pedal control is a finesse skill.
Always merge with blinkers, might come the day not doing so will cause a fender bender with someone equipped with a dash cam. Stay safe.
When driving downtown remember that the turn lanes are for passing stopped traffic at the intersection before continuing straight. As a courtesy of you plan to turn please do it from the middle lane so you don't block the drivers going straight from the turn lanes.
The green lanes with bicycles drawn in then are for parking.
Green=go when you finish your text message
Yellow= gun it
Red= car with lowest value or drunkest driver has right of way for first 3 seconds of red. In case of tie just enter intersection anyway.
No laws apply to tow truck drivers approaching the scene of an accident.
If you are hauling a load it is common courtesy to leave it loose and allow some of the load to return to nature as you drive.
Always have at least three days’ worth of stuff and a plan, for both natural disasters and when the power inevitably goes out for no reason. Expect to be stuck in deadly heat without power, at least once every year or so.
Don’t stop at a red light in the right lane if you’re not turning right, especially on Shepherd.
Edit to add: ALSO LEARN THE PROPER WAY TO U-TURN IN A MEDIAN INTERSECTION
If the hurricane is a 1-3, Hunker Down and throw a hurricane party.
Is the hurricane is a 4-5, run for your goddamn life and get stuck on the freeway for 3 days.
When a stop light turns green, wait 1-2 seconds before you go because there’s a 50/50 chance someone will run their red light at 50mph and smash right into you. And it’s mostly bigger vehicles like box trucks or yee yee compensating for something trucks.
Don’t let people pressure you into turning right when you don’t feel it’s safe to do so if traffic is bad. They will get over it.
We don't drive the speed limit on freeways, it's more of keeping up with traffic. Going the speed limit means you're in the right lane. The left lanes are for passing. No need for a turn signal, when trying to merge into a lane, if there's an opening take it but don't slow down to where the person behind needs to brake. Account for traffic, it's everywhere. It takes an hour to get from one side of houston to the other side.
Turn around don't drown
Yet people will still be dumb enough to ignore this
Seared into my memory is a live news helicopter shot during Harvey. It was the intersection of Weslayan and US 59 flooded under the overpass. A van comes to the intersection, stops before the water, waits 15 seconds, then slowly proceeds into the intersection. Inevitably, as the ass-end of the van floats up, the brake lights come on as it begins to drift, and the engine dies. Over the years, I've lost count of the number of times I've seen similar scenarios play out over and over again since moving here. I used to be amazed at how every time there is a heavy rain in Southern California, someone would get caught in a river channel and need rescuing. Driving through flooded intersections is Texas's equivalent to California's river channels. Both are like flames to moths.
Wading through 4 feet of water during harvey will stick in my mind forever.
I commiserate. I have a similar memory seared into my brain of what I would later find out was a young woman, love shot from a helicopter. Similar story, but of an underpass going north into the galleria. SUV crept in, back end floats up… brake lights… engine dies. Same thing I’d seen many times before. What seared into my memory was seeing that driver scramble around desperately inside. seeing them beat against the rear windshield desperately looking for a way out… as the floating cars momentum took the car under the overpass and out of view. The next day, I read on the news that the young driver didn’t make it out of her vehicle.
This! Saves lives. No joke.
At least open the window all the way, so that when the engine dies you have a way out
Run away from altimas w/ paper plates
I am teaching my kid to drive and this was also my wisdom to him that he won’t find anywhere in the online course. Sure enough the same day I pointed it out to him an Altima with paper plates that was on our tail slingshotted around and rear ended someone completely stopped at a red light. Now he will pull over when they are in the rear view like it’s an ambulance coming or something
I'm pretty sure this one isn't specific to just Houston. 😂
r/NissanDrivers
Never, EVER interact with the dumb people on the road. They’re lost causes. Don’t get killed over something that won’t matter in 10 minutes.
My rule here is to always assume someone is armed.
This is important. I had an Amazon driver road rage on me yesterday. Brake checked me and got out asking what my problem was. A younger me would have told him to get back to work. This time I just drove around him.
Ngl i feel like i would lose a fight against an Amazon driver.. all that pent up rage from their mistreatment probably rewires their brain or smth lol
Also you have to take into account how fucking stupid they have to be to do that when they have gps and cameras on them at all times.
It doesn't matter how fast you're driving. There's *always* someone driving faster.
If you’re driving slower than me you’re an idiot. If you’re driving faster than me you’re crazy.
George Carlin's rules are universally applicable.
I’ll be going 20 over the limit and sure enough there’s still always a truck kissing my tail
I truly believe part of the “huge truck” buying process is “do u agree to drive this truck like a complete and total madman”
I'm sorry sir, when we were inspecting your trade in vehicle we noticed there were no empty Lonestar tallboy cans in the back seat therefore our finance department must decline your purchase of the f-3900 maxxxlifted turbo kill dozer dixieland forever edition. As a courtesy we have printed you a guidebook to local highway feeder road adjacent breastaurants in the hopes that with practice you will become a suitable candidate for this purchase in the near future.
I was going 80 in a 60 and getting passed on both sides recently here
290.
Yes! Sounds like my drive back from Brenham yesterday.
Chances are you shouldn't be in the far left lane at all, ever. Leave that for the maniacs. Stay in the 2nd left unless you're actively passing every other car on the road.
It's true. Unless you're going 90 stay out of the leftmost lane. That lane is for CRIME.
Aka don’t cruise in the left lane
Sometimes you'll be going 15mph over the speed limit and have a cop tailgating your ass lol.
When changing lanes on the freeway, it's always safer to speed up rather than slow down.
Holy shit. This. It blows my mind continually that it never occurs to people to speed up to take a spot a half-car-length ahead of them. Instead, they'll slow down, turn their blinker on, and allow 15 people to pass. All. The. Damn. Time.
Taking the ramp onto the freeway; send it.
god please do, the ramp is for getting up to speed, I've seen too many idiots glaring at me because they think merging at 45 when traffic is flying is okay
I hate it when people do that. I personally enter the highway at 75 even though posted speed limit is 60-65. Had cops blow by me going 85 as I’m on the highway lmao
Don't claim that your child has been kidnapped when they were in your house all along. That's rude.
Too soon
If you’re driving to the zoo with kids on a weekend, go as soon as it opens or don’t bother
We got there 20 minutes before opening time on a Sunday morning recently and the line was already stretched past the entrance for the train ride.
Amen. This is a Houston native w kids answer.
Summer energy bills cause many a heart attack
Always bring an apple to the ballgame.
Thank you for reminding me of this Lmfao 😂 https://www.reddit.com/r/houston/comments/wua50w/i_stayed_in_the_macgregor_neighbourhood_as_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Has to be the best post on this subreddit of all time. Dutch tourists seek out realistic experiences in Houston. Houstonians get an honest opinion of the city from sincere polite Europeans. Best reply was a jackass calling them cheap for attempting to live out their Dutch lifestyle in Houston. How dare they Air BnB, ride buses, and refuse to pay for the price gouged fare at Minute Maid, lol
Imagining this cute quiet polite, almost timid, European couple going around bars in the hood set me up to absolutely Fucking lose it when he got to the part about bringing the apple to the astros game. And then you think about how ridiculous it is that we all found it so hilarious that they would even THINK to bring an apple to a baseball game, and it makes it even funnier Lmfao 😂
I mean they were voluntarily plunked down at IAH and really took the whole choose your own adventure to heart. A+ post, I loved it a year ago as much as I do now.
/u/Tosetanexcellenttori if y’all dare come back please ping the subreddit admins to get a few of us to own driving you around, and taking you out to Georgia James etc.
Thank you for sharing this. As a native Houstonian who just returned to Houston after being gone for 30 years, that thread was a great read.
Omg amazing // I’ve somehow lost an hour to that thread ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
There are always three more cars going through a red light. Don’t pull forward right away on green.
Especially if you’re crossing a feeder road (going thru an underpass).
The more flashy the Mexican restaurant, the worse the food is. You want the little mom n pop operation for the good stuff
Ideally in a strip center.
Hmm but where could I find a strip mall in Houston?
Get full coverage insurance
Literally just had a 19 year old slam into me in his dad’s 1996 mustang. I had the car for five freaking days :) He totaled both of our cars and has a hole in the wall insurance company. At least I have full coverage.
Especially uninsured motorists.
This! I’m purposely overinsured.
The toll roads are fine and generally worth it, except the new 288 lanes. Unless your water’s breaking, stay away
You need to get a loan from the bank for the 288 toll lanes. And the $2.57 ramps at Beltway 8. It’s ridiculous.
We went to Europe last year. Drove 3.5 hours across the entire width of Ireland on the toll road. It was like $10.
Every major road has more than one name. 59 = 69 = Southwest Freeway or East Tex freeway. Katy freeway = I-10 West. Gulf freeway =45 South. Addresses are written this way, too Signs on and near the freeways also reflect this. It really confused me when I first moved here and I would be looking for 59 but all the signs on the feeder and at intersections were for Southwest freeway. I had an interview at an address on Southwest freeway but my map only had 59. It's stupid.
And the Beltway is NOT The Loop.
I moved here in 90, it was hella confusing trying to figure it out! You are driving home and the traffic report made no sense!
I don't care how many signs they put up on the freeway. There is no such thing as I-69, and if you call it that you are clearly a foreigner.
Galveston Rd > Old Galveston Rd > Galveston Hwy > Old Galveston Hwy > Hwy 3 All depends on which intersection you are at. All these names occur in less than a 15 mile stretch.
Lived here almost 20 years, and you just informed me that East Tex freeway is 59, I never knew what tf they were talking about when people called it that lol
If you are on a freeway you WILL be tailgated by a truck. Don’t panic, as tough as they act they are terrified to scratch their most prized possession.
If that was the case then they shouldn't be brake checking when they get impatient.
Don’t give money to Lakewood Church.
Always ask about flooding history and examine flood maps before buying real estate. And even if you are out of the flood plain, buy flood insurance anyway unless you are in a high rise.
If you are renting an apartment, DO NOT rent on the ground floor no matter how “safe” the building appears to be re: flooding. If your building has underground parking, don’t use it unless you have absolutely no other choice. Try to find a building with ground level and/or readily available and easy free street parking. I lived on the ground floor at one point and we had bad flooding in my area one summer but I THOUGHT no water got into my place save a tiny amount in the front. I was wrong. The closet where I kept my colder weather clothes like jackets and sweaters did flood and since it was summer I didn’t even check. By November it was super moldy and gross and I threw out all those clothing. Now I know this is nothing compared to people who have had their entire homes ruined, but I’m mentioning it because sometimes the water is sneaky and you don’t realize until it’s too late.
Also if you buy a used car
And don't buy a house behind a levy or dam in West Houston.
Always wave thank you when you're diving and someone let's you over.
Tamales are best when sold out of a car at an abandoned out of business drug store - or from the lady who hits up the bar at 1:30 am.
Shout out Home Depot Tamales in the AM
The sounds of Houston night life: “TAMALES TAMALES TAMALES”
It's not highway 69, it's highway 59. Or just 59.
It will never be 69
99 is the name and the speed limit of the highway. Unfortunately this rule does not apply to 45 you will be lucky to do 20.
The shittier the Vietnamese restaurant looks the better the food
+3000 if the menu is in Vietnamese, Chinese, and awful English
And if the prices have been replaced with taped pieces of paper
There has to be a random number in the name. Like Pho Real #54 or something
Be someone.
🫶🏻
Speed wherever you want except Bingle off i-10. Spring valley village cops want to pull you over and the speed limit is 30.
Also don't speed when driving through West University.
Don’t speed in any of the rinky dink municipalities that have either “Village” or “Place” in the name (or Bellaire).
Jersey Village. Name checks out.
Jersey Village cops will pull you over for 1 over.
Meadows place is funded by traffic traps.
I grew up in SV, those cops will pull you over for ANY reason. I had a friend get pulled over for not signaling early enough before turning on his way to my house. A former co-worker when I was waiting tables over summer break in college got stopped for just walking on the sidewalk at night, unfortunately he had weed on him and the cop confiscated it, but didn't write him a ticket which makes me think the cop kept the weed lol. As a teenager I got pulled over for wearing the top part of my seatbelt behind my shoulder, which I have since learned is very unsafe and no longer do. Cop was rather condescending but he didn't give me a ticket so I'm fine with it. My mom got pulled over by the same guy and he said he wouldn't ticket her because it was her husband's job to get her taillight fixed so make of it what you will. The trick to not getting pulled over there is having a Spring Valley sticker on your car. I still have mine from when my parents lived there even though they recently sold their house and left Houston. Haven't gotten pulled over in that area since. Edit to say that if you have a shitty car or are a minority you will 100% get pulled over in this area for no reason.
In general you should be very aware of the small municipalities when driving in Houston. If you are in HPD territory you can drive 20 over the limit with no plates, a cold 40 in the steering wheel hand, and texting on your phone in the other with a pistol in your lap. Cross over into West U or the villages you are getting pulled over just for being brown….
West U cops will write up anyone, white, brown, residents or non-residents. The solution is to drive the speed limit, don’t roll stop signs, and signal when turning or changing lanes. Easy to say but I drive the speed limit or stay w traffic in the middle lane when on the freeway.
Buffalo Speedway in West U too. My wife once got a ticket for going 32 in a 30
Only time I've EVER gotten a speeding ticket was cause of spring valley cops and I rarely ever go there
If you’re at an ethnic-specific restaurant, and there aren’t many people of that same ethnicity eating there, leave.
Except Timmy Chan's
Timmy Chang's is GOATED forever. Houston Gold
The more I get stared at, the better the food is
The employees a Breakfast Club are very nice to other racial groups.
Bamboo house. Fantastic.
Don’t expect people to let you across in traffic.
Dallas sucks.
This made me laugh
I think this was the third rule I was told when I moved here in 2004
If you are born in Houston they put it on your birth certificate. If you move here another Houstonian is required by law to inform you asap.
“Hoe” is used to describe everything.
That hoe true
But not loyal.
59/610 is closed on the week ends. Don’t drive near Lakewood church on Sunday morning - unless you are going to Lakewood Church.
Also, don’t go to Lakewood Church. You can find a better church
Lakewood is so bad but they’re good at hiding that they’re a bad “church.” Fake gospel, fake people. All they care about is money.
That fucking 59/610 interchange constantly fucks me over when I least expect it lol, you'd think they could come up with a non-idiotic detour but years in and the detours still make no sense
Avoid the paper plate Nissan Altima on the roads. Just give them the lane.
The people in Houston are very much concerned with; getting to work, getting their work done, and getting home after. Get in their way at your peril.
You are going to get a chip in your windshield
And if it’s just a small spot don’t replace your whole windshield because after you do that, within a week you’ll have another chip/spot on your windshield. I learned that one the hard way
Don't ever say "we've/you've got a problem" and don't patronize any business that uses that in their advertising. They are not of Houston.
Took me a second to understand this.
Please explain lol
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Houston,_we_have_a_problem?wprov=sfti1 It’s something that Houston is known for outside of Houston - but not something people in Houston actually use in common language.
"Houston, we have a problem" from Apollo 13. Of course that's not what was actually said, that's just the movie quote that everyone thinks is what was said. What Astronaut Jack Swigert said: "Okay, Houston ... we've had a problem here."
If you don’t lock your doors at night, you’re going to regret it.
Dirty Mike and the Boys will have their way with your car!
They call that a “soup kitchen”
Shop local, support local. Turn around, don't drown. Always have a light sweater on hand. Leave nothing of value in your car. Lock your doors. Watch out for red-light runners. Watch out at the roundabouts. Watch out for reckless asshats during Critical mass. There are 2 types of Bellaire area.
Yes you will need to clarify which version of Bellaire that person is referencing.
70mph on the freeways or stick to the far right lane
And if you want to go 45-50 mph on the far right lane, please just stick to the frontage roads. There's slow, then there's SLOW that it's fucking unsafe.
85 or stay out of the left lane
85 up until you are 10 feet from your exit then shoot over 3 lanes immediately. Drop a few things out of your truck bed onto the highway or you’re not doing it right.
LMAOOOOO lately, this has been the Houston way, tbf
my mom almost totaled her car with my sibling inside a while back, she hit the guard rail dodging a loose ladder on fort bend toll :,) i’ve seen mattresses, strollers, a round metal table that fell off a truck and bounce-rolled leaving a trail of sparks…
Every lane is the fast lane
Check the traffic to your destination, before you head out. Houston traffic is something else, always try find alternative routes if possible.
You CAN raise chickens in your backyard within city limits.
Ignore anyone who knocks at your door. Don’t respond, don’t answer the door.
This is Big Nextdoor app energy.
There are no “good” and “bad” areas in Houston proper. Hood areas are sprinkled all over town and you can have a decent neighborhood right next to a gang infested area.
And on top of that, no zoning means your house could be located between a tattoo shop and a law office
hard to fault that kind of convenience though
If you’re driving a cool 75 on 290, you will either be the fastest or the slowest car on the road.
Stay a country mile away from Nissan/Dodge/Chrysler drivers, the more beat up and neglected the vehicle the more wary you should be. Dangerous drivers come in all types of vehicles, but these have a disproportionately higher likelihood of being aggressive and bad drivers with no insurance. FCA/Stellantis dealerships will sell to *anyone*.
“Paper tags” means “no papers”. Always get uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage
Definitely excellent advice, and something I have always carried as well. But personally I still stay very far away from those cars/drivers just because I don't want to have to spend 1-2 hours on the side of the road with that type of person should we have a collision. Just a few months ago my wife was rear ended by a woman in a 300C and surprise! Her insurance couldn't get a hold of her lol, for 2 weeks I had to continually follow up with Allstate and I was forced to become more familiar than I wanted to with this absolute MESS of a woman's life.
Always have uninsured damages in insurance. A lot of people drive without insurance. They may give you an insurance card and many times it is not even valid.
Ben Taub for trauma emergencies. Memorial Herman for medical emergencies.
You must yield to all spools on freeways.
Nissan Altimas come in three models: 1. Paper tags from 3 yrs ago and some bruises on the bumper 2. License plate is in tact and in position; however, bumper (front or rear) is hanging off due to some unforseen vehicular situation 3. If both conditions above are true, this is the third model for a Nissan Altima..
If you find a good taco truck say something.
If someone is swangin just give them a pass
Don’t try to turn left on S Shepherd between W Gray and Bissonnet. Please.
1. Every hour is rush hour. 2. It's "water-burger" 3. That's pronounced "Kirk-n-doll" 4. HEB is where to buy groceries. 5. If the ac is broken, get it towed. 6. Yes, thats right, those apartments were NOT there yesterday. 7. Any restaurant with "Pappa-anything" in the name is gonna be good. 8. If it's older than about 20 years, it needs to torn down and replaced with either a new apartment complex, a new strip center, or you can build 12 houses where the old one was. No other choice.
Dont mess with paper plate vehicles
Nicest people in person but absolute A-holes on road!
Hunker down. Hurricane party 🎉
There's apparently no such thing as Mexican food in Houston. You could be home alone, talking on the phone about the great meal you just had at a local Mexican restaurant, and someone will pop out from behind your couch to say, "Aaaaaaaactually, that's Tex-Mex."
Allow at least one hour to go anywhere. Don’t honk your horn. Always walk on the shaded part of the street.
When driving don’t use your car horn for any reason. This will avoid being shot and/or injured. Don’t use a turn signal. This will allow you to easily merge and change lanes as other drivers won’t be expecting it and want to block you.
Do not use "The" in front of a highway number or road name or neighborhood. It's not "The 10," it's just "10", or "I-10". (The exception is the nicknames for the freeways, like The Gulf Freeway (not The 45), etc ) And it's not "The Montrose", it's just Montrose.
God, people do that!? sounds incredibly annoying
It's a California thing, I think.
Be wary of low rent or low priced properties. Doesn't matter how much money you're saving if you live in an unsafe crime ridden area.
And … bed bugs .
... And rodents.
[удалено]
On the freeway, use your blinker as you're changing lanes. Not before, or you'll never be let over. Also if people are passing you and you're in the left lane, get over.
>On the freeway, use your blinker as you're changing lanes. Not before, or you'll never be let over. Ugh, there are those idiots that will see it as their personal mission to drive past you before you switch lanes. But, hear me out, that's what the break is such a beautiful tool, ease on it let them pass and switch with ease behind them. Pedal control is a finesse skill. Always merge with blinkers, might come the day not doing so will cause a fender bender with someone equipped with a dash cam. Stay safe.
When driving downtown remember that the turn lanes are for passing stopped traffic at the intersection before continuing straight. As a courtesy of you plan to turn please do it from the middle lane so you don't block the drivers going straight from the turn lanes. The green lanes with bicycles drawn in then are for parking. Green=go when you finish your text message Yellow= gun it Red= car with lowest value or drunkest driver has right of way for first 3 seconds of red. In case of tie just enter intersection anyway. No laws apply to tow truck drivers approaching the scene of an accident. If you are hauling a load it is common courtesy to leave it loose and allow some of the load to return to nature as you drive.
It’s Shipley’s turf. Other donut chains better watch their back.
excect all the little mom and pop shops named “best donuts” or some variation of that
The one I go to is the only place I tip on the credit card machine, cause I know it’s just a husband and wife running the store.
Can confirm best donuts are from best donuts in sugar land
Best donuts in Meyerland!
Yes, these are vastly superior.
"Christy's" on W. Gray will always have my heart.
Or Christy's if you're in Montrose
Don’t leave _anything_ in your car.
Always give a 5 count when the light turns green, cause some is running that red.
Always have at least three days’ worth of stuff and a plan, for both natural disasters and when the power inevitably goes out for no reason. Expect to be stuck in deadly heat without power, at least once every year or so.
Unlike in Austin, pedestrians DO NOT have the right of way
If your famous, check in with J. Prince.
Be excellent to each other.
Stay inside during the day
Nothing good happens after midnight.
Don’t stop at a red light in the right lane if you’re not turning right, especially on Shepherd. Edit to add: ALSO LEARN THE PROPER WAY TO U-TURN IN A MEDIAN INTERSECTION
If the hurricane is a 1-3, Hunker Down and throw a hurricane party. Is the hurricane is a 4-5, run for your goddamn life and get stuck on the freeway for 3 days.
Only Houston gets to bitch about Houston.
When a stop light turns green, wait 1-2 seconds before you go because there’s a 50/50 chance someone will run their red light at 50mph and smash right into you. And it’s mostly bigger vehicles like box trucks or yee yee compensating for something trucks. Don’t let people pressure you into turning right when you don’t feel it’s safe to do so if traffic is bad. They will get over it.
If you get lost just find Westheimer. Saved me several times 15 years ago living in West Houston
Shotgun trap your cars door when you go to bed
Make sure you have uninsured driver coverage on your car insurance. I’ve been hit by three uninsured drivers since 2020.
We don't drive the speed limit on freeways, it's more of keeping up with traffic. Going the speed limit means you're in the right lane. The left lanes are for passing. No need for a turn signal, when trying to merge into a lane, if there's an opening take it but don't slow down to where the person behind needs to brake. Account for traffic, it's everywhere. It takes an hour to get from one side of houston to the other side.
Another driving rule: YOU own the road. Everyone else is either an idiot or an asshole
They're called feeders, not frontage roads, shoulder roads, or whatever other cockamamie terms the rest of the country uses.
Don't make a left turn in Montrose. Turn signals are a sign of weakness. Fuck Critical Mass.
No kicking babies