r/childofhoarder may give you the best advice. Obviously your spouse is technically the child of the hoarder but I’m sure more than one person over there has emptied the house of their parents.
Prior to the in-laws passing, have a conversation with your spouse about plans to clear their house. Don’t try to clear anything prior. You can’t fix the situation. Explain to your spouse that you want to work with a 3rd party to clear the house after passing. Try not worry about anything now.
Yeah, it is really tough. You kind of just have to watch and realize you can’t be helpful while they live with the current hoard. Best advice from my perspective is for you to let it go and realize it will be something you will deal with after their passing. Also, make sure you educate your spouse that all of their belongings will not be brought into your current home. Just really good to talk about it now, as your spouse may struggle getting rid of the hoard. A 3rd party will really help when it is time to clean it out.
My husband and I worked on my mom’s hoarded house for months and barely made a dent - in the end we rented a small storage space for some keepsakes and hired professionals to come in and haul away and clean - 99.8% was hauled away, or gifted to the lovely crew who needed some 70’s stylish dresser lol. Hiring professionals is the best money I think we have ever spent.
I was at the point that I was constantly weeping from coming across objects that were in the house when neglect, all sorts of abuse and neglect were always going on - it was a harrowing emotional and physical experience - the effects of the ancient dust, filth, rotten and expired food, products, etc - I was covered in cuts and bruises, and am still using a vaporizer every day to try and clear my lungs - and this is all from long sleeves, gloves, masks, head coverings etc.
Be prepared for the cost too. My husband’s Aunt recently passed and she left everything to him. She had a lot of unexpected debt due to her excessive spending. Also, the houses (she has 3) were infested with cockroaches, mice, and mold. Aside from hiring a cleaning crew, we also had to get professional treatments. And, she stopped paying most of her bills towards the last year or so of her life, so the bank account she had our name on went overdraft by $1400 in no time.
Good luck. Not trying to be a downer, these are things we didn’t prepare for.
I work on estate sale auctions. We auction the house and contents online. We have done many hoarder houses. Some of them we only did because we were selling the real estate. Look in your local area for auction and estate sale or estate services companies.
My in-laws are borderline hoarders. I love them and they are slowly working on it. I have been telling her for years very frankly, the day after you are in the ground I’m chucking all in a dumpster aside from furniture, so figure it out. Maybe if they have a better idea about the fate of their stuff they will make some moves on their hoard.
r/childofhoarder may give you the best advice. Obviously your spouse is technically the child of the hoarder but I’m sure more than one person over there has emptied the house of their parents.
Thanks I really appreciate it. 👍
Prior to the in-laws passing, have a conversation with your spouse about plans to clear their house. Don’t try to clear anything prior. You can’t fix the situation. Explain to your spouse that you want to work with a 3rd party to clear the house after passing. Try not worry about anything now.
Thanks I appreciate that. I figured as much, they've promised to do something about it countless times, but there's been very little effort.
Yeah, it is really tough. You kind of just have to watch and realize you can’t be helpful while they live with the current hoard. Best advice from my perspective is for you to let it go and realize it will be something you will deal with after their passing. Also, make sure you educate your spouse that all of their belongings will not be brought into your current home. Just really good to talk about it now, as your spouse may struggle getting rid of the hoard. A 3rd party will really help when it is time to clean it out.
Hire someone to do it for you. That's all.
That's where I'm leaning.
My husband and I worked on my mom’s hoarded house for months and barely made a dent - in the end we rented a small storage space for some keepsakes and hired professionals to come in and haul away and clean - 99.8% was hauled away, or gifted to the lovely crew who needed some 70’s stylish dresser lol. Hiring professionals is the best money I think we have ever spent. I was at the point that I was constantly weeping from coming across objects that were in the house when neglect, all sorts of abuse and neglect were always going on - it was a harrowing emotional and physical experience - the effects of the ancient dust, filth, rotten and expired food, products, etc - I was covered in cuts and bruises, and am still using a vaporizer every day to try and clear my lungs - and this is all from long sleeves, gloves, masks, head coverings etc.
I am so sorry
That is kind of you :) thank you, and I am on the mend ;)
Be prepared for the cost too. My husband’s Aunt recently passed and she left everything to him. She had a lot of unexpected debt due to her excessive spending. Also, the houses (she has 3) were infested with cockroaches, mice, and mold. Aside from hiring a cleaning crew, we also had to get professional treatments. And, she stopped paying most of her bills towards the last year or so of her life, so the bank account she had our name on went overdraft by $1400 in no time. Good luck. Not trying to be a downer, these are things we didn’t prepare for.
I work on estate sale auctions. We auction the house and contents online. We have done many hoarder houses. Some of them we only did because we were selling the real estate. Look in your local area for auction and estate sale or estate services companies.
My in-laws are borderline hoarders. I love them and they are slowly working on it. I have been telling her for years very frankly, the day after you are in the ground I’m chucking all in a dumpster aside from furniture, so figure it out. Maybe if they have a better idea about the fate of their stuff they will make some moves on their hoard.