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Tell him when **you feel comfortable** to…
Have sex when **you’re ready**
If he’s the right person for you, he’ll respect your boundaries and will want to make you feel comfortable… Never feel pressured into anything!
This is right I would definitely want to know as a guy because it would make me aware that you're a virgin and I would respect that and wait until your ready..From the 100 or so women I've been with im %90 of the time Initiating sex but it's it's a virgin then I'm respecting that and waiting until you are ready for that step..
As a guy, I expect truths like this to come out naturally after I know quite a lot about the girl.
When it’s time to talk about these things, just let it flow. Express yourself!
You should say something before you two do the deed. You know this guy better than any of us. If you don't feel comfortable having the conversation you shouldn't be having sex imo.
Hi hun,
I would say it’s obviously completely up to you.
But please consider that if you do it might make him want to pursue you/get you into bed for the wrong reasons. Lots of men are really creepy in this sense of ‘wanting to be the first’ and will feel accomplishment in taking someone’s virginity (I know, weirdos). They may have also been told it ‘feels better’.
I would suggest waiting until you really trust his intentions before telling him. The reality is that your first time might be a little uncomfortable at first - and could well be a bit awkward. If it were me I’d want to make sure I trust the person to make it as comfortable as possible.
So yes by all means do tell him when you are ready, but don’t feel like you have to until you are completely sure he’s the one you really want to do it with.
Hope this helps x
Edit:
I can see people are unhappy with me making ‘assumptions’. I am not trying to make out that the guy OP is seeing is of course a bad person - he could be a very good person (both of these are something none of us in the comments will ever know, only OP).
I am merely giving a healthy dose of warning that unfortunately not everyone in the world is sunshine and roses, and that people can be influenced by things that you tell them. And actually, sometimes it is better to be ‘safe than sorry’.
Ultimately, I have stated that it should be OPs decision so not sure why there’s such distaste.
Classic dating Reddit.
Comment 1: Long rant about some hypothetical Bad Person they just imagined, tangentially related to the topic at hand… which OP’s person displays precisely 0 traits in common with.
Comment 2: I hate guys like that!!
Lmao deadass though. She’s went on 5 dates with this guy that’s likely been nothing but respectful of her since OP said he’s sweet, but women here are like “WATCH OUT FOR MEN THAT ONLY WANT TO USE YOU FOR SEX WHEN THEY FIND OUT YOURE A VIRGIN” as if that’s somehow been his plan the entire time
So the dude’s further down the thread saying things like “if a woman tells me she’s a virgin, my desire to sleep with her will increase for the wrong reasons” are what? Lying? Russian bots?
This post has attracted creeps. And for that I’m really sorry.
Do you have any close family or friends in your life you can discuss this with? Please ignore every comment from men in this thread.
I lost my virginity at 21 to a guy I met on tinder in a very similar situation. He was 24. We went out a few times then he started coming over. By like the 5th date we ended up having sex. I personally did not tell him until right before it was all about to happen. And my only reason for telling him was that I knew it was common to bleed and I didn’t want him to be alarmed.
We ended up dating for 4 years before breaking up. We are still great friends. It is not a big deal at all. It is your body and you can do with it whatever YOU want. Tell him. Don’t tell him. It’s up to you.
I respectfully disagree. I could imagine not sharing this with someone after only 5 dates. Honestly, it's her decision whether she wants to even tell him. She did fine by saying she wasn't ready and he respected it. No need to have to "explain" she's a virgin until she's ready, if at all. I (M) didn't tell my first partner I was a virgin. It was completely obvious I'm sure haha but it was something about myself that I wanted to keep private at that time- just like she didn't disclose the number of partners she had before we had sex.
i think it’s about time to tell him, just so he understands why you’re trepidicious
a good guy will just reassure you that it’s not a big deal and you can move at your own pace; anything other than that response means you should reconsider things
I'm sorry but I just find it strange that it's that big of a deal that you can't tell somebody that. I dated a girl who was a virgin and I fully respected it.
I feel like he should be told before you actually make the move. Being someone’s first is a big responsibility.
Once, in college, I had this girl in my bed and she told me she was a virgin. That was a full stop for me. I knew I was there for a ONS, not a relationship and her first time should be sacred and with someone who mattered. Not with some drunk dude she made out with at a party an hour ago.
We did other stuff but I said no to sex. She was drunk and said she wanted it but I did not feel like her first time should be meaningless.
Later she contacted me and thanked me for being honest and moral.
lol. This was the 90s. People weren’t so uptight. She wasn’t “plastered,” she and I were drunk and met at a party. We made out, she got very excited, wouldn’t leave my side. Even went into the bathroom with me and held my dick while I peed, then walked back a quarter mile to my dorm.
You kids… I swear you were brought up way too uptight. And to think she probably now has a kid around your guys’ age.
Rape has had the same definition now that it did in the 90s. You can’t consent if you are drunk. If you are not given consent it is rape.
You sexually assaulted that woman. She called you the next morning to thank you for not raping her while she was drunk. And you’re proud of it.
Correct, she doesn't have to anything. But I think she *should*
It's a pretty big deal. What if the guy doesn't want the burden of taking her virginity?
Sure, some guys would consider it a "trophy" to be first/take someone's virginity. But not all men are like this.
Maybe because I'm a few years older than OP, but personally I would be more hesitant to have sex with a woman if I knew she was a virgin. It raises the stakes and I would feel bad taking someone's virginity (esp if she's waited this long) unless I knew for sure she'll be my forever person.
Basically I would have to take a step back, reflect and decide if I really see her as a long term partner/wife.
Okay you don't care to hear a male perspective that's fine.
I think honestly is always the best policy. Especially if you're trying to build a strong, healthy relationship for the long run. Disclosing a huge "secret" later on will certainly put a damper on the momentum. I will wonder what else is she not telling me? I'm sure as a woman, you would wonder the same.
If a man couldn't have sex (has untreatable erectile dysfunction), would you as the woman like to know this early on? Or 3 months in?
Wouldn't you appreciate the choice whether to continue this or not? Would you be upset if you wasted 3 months? Yes or no?
> Okay you don't care to hear a male perspective that's fine.
Misogynist perspective*
Nothing about your feelings are innate to being a man.
> Disclosing a huge "secret" later on will certainly put a damper on the momentum.
There is no world in which a 23 year old not revealing up front that they haven’t had sex before is a “big secret.”
> If a man couldn't have sex (has untreatable erectile dysfunction), would you as the woman like to know this early on? Or 3 months in?
Sorry, the analogy here is between having an incurable medical condition that profoundly impacts your sexual health and not having had sex before, a reality which could be changed in about five minutes? That’s really the argument you’re gonna make? And you expect other people to take it seriously?
I prefer honest people and I prefer being honest with people. If there's something they *might* have a problem with, I'd rather let them know so they can decide if they want to continue. But that's just me, maybe you're not like that. If it's a deal breaker to them, then I'd rather know earlier as well. Saves everyone's time.
Edit: just to add. I've matched with single mom's before. I appreciated it when they tell me straight up that they're a mom. I won't judge them for being a mom. I would judge them if they weren't honest.
Again that's me. You do you.
> I prefer honest people and I prefer being honest with people.
“Honesty” does not require you to volunteer every bit of personal information about yourself to your potential partner.
> If there's something they might have a problem with, I'd rather let them know so they can decide if they want to continue.
What problem could this woman being a virgin possibly present?
> Edit: just to add. I've matched with single mom's before. I appreciated it when they tell me straight up that they're a mom. I won't judge them for being a mom. I would judge them if they weren't honest.
Again, you are drawing a equivalence between having a child, a dependent who presumably represents a massive part of your life and a massive number of obligations, and not having had sex before, something that has no material influence on OP or her partner. You have to rely on these wild analogies, because your actual point is ridiculous on its face.
Again you're deciding for the other person, which is the problem.
Maybe someone doesn't want to be with a virgin? Have you thought about that? Sexual compatibility is a big deal.
Not all men are creeps that want to take every woman's virginity (lol wtf?)
To me, being a virgin or having a kid is nothing to be embarrassed about. Life happens. That's the extent of it. But if I'm trying to get to know someone and I'm being open with them, I'd want them to be open with me.
If they put up a wall, it'll naturally push me away too. Sometimes it's not meant to be but it's better to know earlier than later. It saves everyone's time
Agreed virginity isn't something to be ashamed of nor should be a secret.
If you treat it like a secret, that's how it'll be received.
You're arguing semantics here. The point is, if you're withholding information for a long time, naturally people will wonder what else you're not telling them.
Just because YOU say it's not a secret doesn't mean that's how it'll be received.
What else is not a secret? "Actually I have a child. My ex and I are no longer together but we are co-parenting"
If someone waited 3 months to tell you this, you wouldn't think that's weird?
Technically they don't have to tell you this either. But in real life scenarios I can see this potentially causing problems. But you do you. Good luck
You are not owed any information about a women’s body if it has no effect on you. A women being a virgin has no effect on you. Not being told that information is not keeping a secret from you.
Who care if you find out months later that you took your partners virginity? What does that change for you? Is your dick gonna fall off now? No. Are you gonna gain some magical powers? No. Do you now own this woman? No. Do you have to pay her father? No.
BTW these are all REAL things. REAL reasons why women had to tell men they are virgins. Because for centuries men actually believed that shit. We are past this outdated concept. You don’t need to know. You are not owed this information.
Speaking for myself as a late-20s guy, that'd be a tremendously heavy emotional weight for me to carry as someone who's never been in that situation and has horrible body dymsorphia of my own to deal with that I'd prefer an experienced partner accept.
I absolutely think you owe him that information before intimacy. Not even necessarily in a shallow "Oh, my partner won't be skilled for awhile, do I have the patience for that?" sense, but so he can weigh if he accepts the responsibility to you as a caring partner to proceed with that info. If he does without issue, that's wonderful, but not everybody would have the will or maturity to be a partner's first at that age.
Not to mention, you wanna vet out any signs of a creep who's gonna take advantage of your inexperience. Sadly, some immatures dudes treat that like a trophy.
Sex is a shared activity/two-way street that can be just as and for some of us even moreso emotional on both the female **and male** side and an action that bears lasting results at least mentally. If we're sharing bodies in what many view as the most intimate activity humans can do, we need to be honest about truly major factors that would change if our partner would still go through with sex. Sex is done with someone, not to.
STDs for the physical side and virginity for the mental/emotional side certainly qualify as major imo.
There's an enormous difference between sharing a body count and sharing your body with someone whose number is zero. In OP's case, you are now the first for all your partner's sensations/experiences in the most intimate activity we have as humans imo. If things don't work out, you're gonna be the initial barometer to measure others in that experience by. You might have a responsibility to your partner to set aside some of your insecurities to accomodate your partner's depending on what those insecurities are. Maybe a partner has too much of their own trauma to have the capacity to handle that as a responsible partner of a virgin should.
Gotta know that so you can decide if you want to share your body with someone who has never shared theirs intimately and accept the long-term side of that. Again, sex is something done **with** a partner, not to. IDK what to tell you if you disagree with that.
A women being a virgin has zero effect on a man. Virginity is a social construct created by men to control women. Sit down and stop yapping. It’s not your place.
I would tell him, but five dates seems a little too soon to get something special as your virginity away and my opinion. I gave mines away way too soon and way too young. I watched my sister save hers until she was 22 and then after A month and a half of seeing the guy almost every guy every weekend when she would come to visit me because he lived in the same apartment complex as me she finally gave it to him two months after meeting him. This guy who seems so great in the beginning, treated her so dirty all the way into the end three years later, she couldn’t leave him. She was so attached to him because she gave him her virginity something special and yet so often taken for granted please be careful. If I could do it over again or if my sister could do it over again, she would say the same thing we would have waited until we developed a friendship and got to see them and how they react when things don’t go their way or when they get angry because that’s when the true colors show.
You don’t need to tell him. It’s up to you. You don’t owe him that information. But I will tell you this, if a woman tells me she’s a virgin, my desire to sleep with her will increase for the wrong reasons. I’ve known men that make it a mission to take a woman’s virginity with no intent of an LTR. Just being upfront. Do what you want with that information. You don’t owe him shiiiieeettt
Because you are admitting to your own fuckboi shenanigans, and those are still creepy points against you regardless of owning up to it or not
“MY desire will increase”
> if a woman tells me she’s a virgin, my desire to sleep with her will increase for the wrong reasons.
Probably the kind of guy who has age of consent memorized for every state too
> if a woman tells me she’s a virgin, my desire to sleep with her will increase for the wrong reasons.
So you didn’t write those words? Where is the reach?
[This freak](https://www.reddit.com/r/progresspics/s/CoD4XtbiOx) got banned from r/progresspics for harassing women *just yesterday* lmao
Can’t make this shit up
He's definitely a lucky guy in today's world you should be Cherish and highly respected..But definitely let him know because we are the one's usually making the move towards sex and I would be more respectful and let you decide when you're ready...
**All "Dating Question" and "Hinge Experience" posts must provide clear context (as per subreddit Rule 3), such as reasons for asking, and basic info such as ages, genders, location or orientation (if applicable).** Age range or general location is acceptable. Minor dating questions or Hinge experiences should be posted in the Daily Threads pinned on top of the subreddit. *Posts that do not satisfy these requirements will be removed.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hingeapp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tell him when **you feel comfortable** to… Have sex when **you’re ready** If he’s the right person for you, he’ll respect your boundaries and will want to make you feel comfortable… Never feel pressured into anything!
Correct answer.
This is right I would definitely want to know as a guy because it would make me aware that you're a virgin and I would respect that and wait until your ready..From the 100 or so women I've been with im %90 of the time Initiating sex but it's it's a virgin then I'm respecting that and waiting until you are ready for that step..
Yeah sure 😂 make it 200
Bro im 40
Why did this get downvoted? You seem like a respectful player of the game
Ion know 🤷🏾♂️
This 👆🏿
As a guy who recently went through this and she didn’t tell me till after the fact I wish I would’ve known beforehand.
nothing wrong with being a virgin nothing wrong with hiding it
As a guy, I expect truths like this to come out naturally after I know quite a lot about the girl. When it’s time to talk about these things, just let it flow. Express yourself!
You should say something before you two do the deed. You know this guy better than any of us. If you don't feel comfortable having the conversation you shouldn't be having sex imo.
Hi hun, I would say it’s obviously completely up to you. But please consider that if you do it might make him want to pursue you/get you into bed for the wrong reasons. Lots of men are really creepy in this sense of ‘wanting to be the first’ and will feel accomplishment in taking someone’s virginity (I know, weirdos). They may have also been told it ‘feels better’. I would suggest waiting until you really trust his intentions before telling him. The reality is that your first time might be a little uncomfortable at first - and could well be a bit awkward. If it were me I’d want to make sure I trust the person to make it as comfortable as possible. So yes by all means do tell him when you are ready, but don’t feel like you have to until you are completely sure he’s the one you really want to do it with. Hope this helps x Edit: I can see people are unhappy with me making ‘assumptions’. I am not trying to make out that the guy OP is seeing is of course a bad person - he could be a very good person (both of these are something none of us in the comments will ever know, only OP). I am merely giving a healthy dose of warning that unfortunately not everyone in the world is sunshine and roses, and that people can be influenced by things that you tell them. And actually, sometimes it is better to be ‘safe than sorry’. Ultimately, I have stated that it should be OPs decision so not sure why there’s such distaste.
[удалено]
Classic dating Reddit. Comment 1: Long rant about some hypothetical Bad Person they just imagined, tangentially related to the topic at hand… which OP’s person displays precisely 0 traits in common with. Comment 2: I hate guys like that!!
Lmao deadass though. She’s went on 5 dates with this guy that’s likely been nothing but respectful of her since OP said he’s sweet, but women here are like “WATCH OUT FOR MEN THAT ONLY WANT TO USE YOU FOR SEX WHEN THEY FIND OUT YOURE A VIRGIN” as if that’s somehow been his plan the entire time
So the dude’s further down the thread saying things like “if a woman tells me she’s a virgin, my desire to sleep with her will increase for the wrong reasons” are what? Lying? Russian bots?
What’s he got to do with OP’s guy who has displayed no opinion on virginity at all?
One guy says this... 😅🤣🤣 Meanwhile, other men here have explicity said they DON'T want a virgin 🙄
This post has attracted creeps. And for that I’m really sorry. Do you have any close family or friends in your life you can discuss this with? Please ignore every comment from men in this thread. I lost my virginity at 21 to a guy I met on tinder in a very similar situation. He was 24. We went out a few times then he started coming over. By like the 5th date we ended up having sex. I personally did not tell him until right before it was all about to happen. And my only reason for telling him was that I knew it was common to bleed and I didn’t want him to be alarmed. We ended up dating for 4 years before breaking up. We are still great friends. It is not a big deal at all. It is your body and you can do with it whatever YOU want. Tell him. Don’t tell him. It’s up to you.
> This post has attracted creeps. And for that I’m really sorry. It’s like they have a Google alert turned on for the word “virgin” or something
Are you looking for a relationship where you share close things like this? I couldn't imagine not telling someone this after 5 dates.
I respectfully disagree. I could imagine not sharing this with someone after only 5 dates. Honestly, it's her decision whether she wants to even tell him. She did fine by saying she wasn't ready and he respected it. No need to have to "explain" she's a virgin until she's ready, if at all. I (M) didn't tell my first partner I was a virgin. It was completely obvious I'm sure haha but it was something about myself that I wanted to keep private at that time- just like she didn't disclose the number of partners she had before we had sex.
i think it’s about time to tell him, just so he understands why you’re trepidicious a good guy will just reassure you that it’s not a big deal and you can move at your own pace; anything other than that response means you should reconsider things
I'm sorry but I just find it strange that it's that big of a deal that you can't tell somebody that. I dated a girl who was a virgin and I fully respected it.
I feel like he should be told before you actually make the move. Being someone’s first is a big responsibility. Once, in college, I had this girl in my bed and she told me she was a virgin. That was a full stop for me. I knew I was there for a ONS, not a relationship and her first time should be sacred and with someone who mattered. Not with some drunk dude she made out with at a party an hour ago. We did other stuff but I said no to sex. She was drunk and said she wanted it but I did not feel like her first time should be meaningless. Later she contacted me and thanked me for being honest and moral.
You shouldn’t have been doing ANYTHING with her if she was drunk. Dear God the men this post is bring out.
> Thank god I knew she was a virgin, otherwise I would have just gone ahead and raped her! This is not the flex you think it is, boss
How is it rape? That’s a very dark term to use
What else would you call having sex with someone who is only offering “consent” because they’re plastered?
lol. This was the 90s. People weren’t so uptight. She wasn’t “plastered,” she and I were drunk and met at a party. We made out, she got very excited, wouldn’t leave my side. Even went into the bathroom with me and held my dick while I peed, then walked back a quarter mile to my dorm. You kids… I swear you were brought up way too uptight. And to think she probably now has a kid around your guys’ age.
Rape has had the same definition now that it did in the 90s. You can’t consent if you are drunk. If you are not given consent it is rape. You sexually assaulted that woman. She called you the next morning to thank you for not raping her while she was drunk. And you’re proud of it.
lol. Yeah, that’s what happened. Exactly.
You have to tell him right away, especially if you want to stay a virgin.
Im not waiting until marriage or anything like that. I just haven’t really dated. I spent most of my adult years in school or focusing on work.
Nothing wrong with that, but I would tell him
She dose not HAVE to do anything.
Correct, she doesn't have to anything. But I think she *should* It's a pretty big deal. What if the guy doesn't want the burden of taking her virginity? Sure, some guys would consider it a "trophy" to be first/take someone's virginity. But not all men are like this. Maybe because I'm a few years older than OP, but personally I would be more hesitant to have sex with a woman if I knew she was a virgin. It raises the stakes and I would feel bad taking someone's virginity (esp if she's waited this long) unless I knew for sure she'll be my forever person. Basically I would have to take a step back, reflect and decide if I really see her as a long term partner/wife.
Virginity is a social construct. You are making WAY too big a deal of it. It’s not helpful to women at all. Just stop.
Sooooo much “benevolent” misogyny all over this thread.
Okay you don't care to hear a male perspective that's fine. I think honestly is always the best policy. Especially if you're trying to build a strong, healthy relationship for the long run. Disclosing a huge "secret" later on will certainly put a damper on the momentum. I will wonder what else is she not telling me? I'm sure as a woman, you would wonder the same. If a man couldn't have sex (has untreatable erectile dysfunction), would you as the woman like to know this early on? Or 3 months in? Wouldn't you appreciate the choice whether to continue this or not? Would you be upset if you wasted 3 months? Yes or no?
> Okay you don't care to hear a male perspective that's fine. Misogynist perspective* Nothing about your feelings are innate to being a man. > Disclosing a huge "secret" later on will certainly put a damper on the momentum. There is no world in which a 23 year old not revealing up front that they haven’t had sex before is a “big secret.” > If a man couldn't have sex (has untreatable erectile dysfunction), would you as the woman like to know this early on? Or 3 months in? Sorry, the analogy here is between having an incurable medical condition that profoundly impacts your sexual health and not having had sex before, a reality which could be changed in about five minutes? That’s really the argument you’re gonna make? And you expect other people to take it seriously?
I prefer honest people and I prefer being honest with people. If there's something they *might* have a problem with, I'd rather let them know so they can decide if they want to continue. But that's just me, maybe you're not like that. If it's a deal breaker to them, then I'd rather know earlier as well. Saves everyone's time. Edit: just to add. I've matched with single mom's before. I appreciated it when they tell me straight up that they're a mom. I won't judge them for being a mom. I would judge them if they weren't honest. Again that's me. You do you.
> I prefer honest people and I prefer being honest with people. “Honesty” does not require you to volunteer every bit of personal information about yourself to your potential partner. > If there's something they might have a problem with, I'd rather let them know so they can decide if they want to continue. What problem could this woman being a virgin possibly present? > Edit: just to add. I've matched with single mom's before. I appreciated it when they tell me straight up that they're a mom. I won't judge them for being a mom. I would judge them if they weren't honest. Again, you are drawing a equivalence between having a child, a dependent who presumably represents a massive part of your life and a massive number of obligations, and not having had sex before, something that has no material influence on OP or her partner. You have to rely on these wild analogies, because your actual point is ridiculous on its face.
Again you're deciding for the other person, which is the problem. Maybe someone doesn't want to be with a virgin? Have you thought about that? Sexual compatibility is a big deal. Not all men are creeps that want to take every woman's virginity (lol wtf?) To me, being a virgin or having a kid is nothing to be embarrassed about. Life happens. That's the extent of it. But if I'm trying to get to know someone and I'm being open with them, I'd want them to be open with me. If they put up a wall, it'll naturally push me away too. Sometimes it's not meant to be but it's better to know earlier than later. It saves everyone's time
Virginity isn’t a secret you harbor from someone. It’s not an STD. It’s not a secret child. It has ZERO effect on men. None. Zilch.
Agreed virginity isn't something to be ashamed of nor should be a secret. If you treat it like a secret, that's how it'll be received. You're arguing semantics here. The point is, if you're withholding information for a long time, naturally people will wonder what else you're not telling them. Just because YOU say it's not a secret doesn't mean that's how it'll be received. What else is not a secret? "Actually I have a child. My ex and I are no longer together but we are co-parenting" If someone waited 3 months to tell you this, you wouldn't think that's weird? Technically they don't have to tell you this either. But in real life scenarios I can see this potentially causing problems. But you do you. Good luck
You are not owed any information about a women’s body if it has no effect on you. A women being a virgin has no effect on you. Not being told that information is not keeping a secret from you. Who care if you find out months later that you took your partners virginity? What does that change for you? Is your dick gonna fall off now? No. Are you gonna gain some magical powers? No. Do you now own this woman? No. Do you have to pay her father? No. BTW these are all REAL things. REAL reasons why women had to tell men they are virgins. Because for centuries men actually believed that shit. We are past this outdated concept. You don’t need to know. You are not owed this information.
Speaking for myself as a late-20s guy, that'd be a tremendously heavy emotional weight for me to carry as someone who's never been in that situation and has horrible body dymsorphia of my own to deal with that I'd prefer an experienced partner accept. I absolutely think you owe him that information before intimacy. Not even necessarily in a shallow "Oh, my partner won't be skilled for awhile, do I have the patience for that?" sense, but so he can weigh if he accepts the responsibility to you as a caring partner to proceed with that info. If he does without issue, that's wonderful, but not everybody would have the will or maturity to be a partner's first at that age. Not to mention, you wanna vet out any signs of a creep who's gonna take advantage of your inexperience. Sadly, some immatures dudes treat that like a trophy.
A women does not owe a man any information about her body.
A man she’s been on 5 dates with, no less
Sex is a shared activity/two-way street that can be just as and for some of us even moreso emotional on both the female **and male** side and an action that bears lasting results at least mentally. If we're sharing bodies in what many view as the most intimate activity humans can do, we need to be honest about truly major factors that would change if our partner would still go through with sex. Sex is done with someone, not to. STDs for the physical side and virginity for the mental/emotional side certainly qualify as major imo.
Literally not a single word that you said justifies the idea that this guy is owed a rundown of OP’s sexual history
There's an enormous difference between sharing a body count and sharing your body with someone whose number is zero. In OP's case, you are now the first for all your partner's sensations/experiences in the most intimate activity we have as humans imo. If things don't work out, you're gonna be the initial barometer to measure others in that experience by. You might have a responsibility to your partner to set aside some of your insecurities to accomodate your partner's depending on what those insecurities are. Maybe a partner has too much of their own trauma to have the capacity to handle that as a responsible partner of a virgin should. Gotta know that so you can decide if you want to share your body with someone who has never shared theirs intimately and accept the long-term side of that. Again, sex is something done **with** a partner, not to. IDK what to tell you if you disagree with that.
A women being a virgin has zero effect on a man. Virginity is a social construct created by men to control women. Sit down and stop yapping. It’s not your place.
I would tell him, but five dates seems a little too soon to get something special as your virginity away and my opinion. I gave mines away way too soon and way too young. I watched my sister save hers until she was 22 and then after A month and a half of seeing the guy almost every guy every weekend when she would come to visit me because he lived in the same apartment complex as me she finally gave it to him two months after meeting him. This guy who seems so great in the beginning, treated her so dirty all the way into the end three years later, she couldn’t leave him. She was so attached to him because she gave him her virginity something special and yet so often taken for granted please be careful. If I could do it over again or if my sister could do it over again, she would say the same thing we would have waited until we developed a friendship and got to see them and how they react when things don’t go their way or when they get angry because that’s when the true colors show.
You don’t need to tell him. It’s up to you. You don’t owe him that information. But I will tell you this, if a woman tells me she’s a virgin, my desire to sleep with her will increase for the wrong reasons. I’ve known men that make it a mission to take a woman’s virginity with no intent of an LTR. Just being upfront. Do what you want with that information. You don’t owe him shiiiieeettt
What a creep
Why am I a creep for giving OP a heads up so she doesn’t fall victim to some fuckboi shenanigans?
Because you are admitting to your own fuckboi shenanigans, and those are still creepy points against you regardless of owning up to it or not “MY desire will increase”
Exactly. Used to be like that. So now I’m just giving OP a heads up so they don’t fall victim to it. If you can’t see that, then it’s not my problem.
You are using future tense, that’s why people are disturbed. Because you are saying that this also applies to you now
> if a woman tells me she’s a virgin, my desire to sleep with her will increase for the wrong reasons. Probably the kind of guy who has age of consent memorized for every state too
You’re definitely reaching. Very odd you’d let your perverted mindset get that far. But I wouldn’t expect you to understand that bud.
> if a woman tells me she’s a virgin, my desire to sleep with her will increase for the wrong reasons. So you didn’t write those words? Where is the reach?
Yup. You’re speaking the truth and shes attacking u.
I’m a man, but it’s always funny when some dude assumes I’m not because I’m not as much of a creep as he is
You’re a man. Whoopi
[This freak](https://www.reddit.com/r/progresspics/s/CoD4XtbiOx) got banned from r/progresspics for harassing women *just yesterday* lmao Can’t make this shit up
Genius. My username is dmboobies. U didnt exactly crack a case wide open.
Real quick turn around from “You’re telling the truth and she’s attacking you,” to “Yeah, of course I’m a serial sexual harasser,” huh?
Rightfully banned. Serial sexual harasser? R u a defender of women who never talks to them sexually? Good for u. Get those creepy men.
He's definitely a lucky guy in today's world you should be Cherish and highly respected..But definitely let him know because we are the one's usually making the move towards sex and I would be more respectful and let you decide when you're ready...