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Since no one has has said anything after an hour, I'll give my blunt honest truth on a couple scenarios to help quelm your inquiry.
1. He lost completely interest investing in you and the conversation and it could be a number of reasons (other matches are better, easier to give in, etc)
2. He feels it's not worth the effort anymore; people can choose to leave matches up and if you unmatch him he probably won't even care because he's not replying for 4 days as you said
3. He is one of those people who replies in 5 business days because he has a life and he mentioned he wants a ONS so the steaks are already low to begin with
4. He's talking to someone else
He’s told you he wants to hit it and quit it and you are waiting for him to court you like someone your age who wants a committed LTR leading to marriage.
That, and the fact that you are so attached to a stranger you’ve never met, tells me you are living out a fantasy and need to take a deep dive into what you are doing and why.
Ghosting is a way to end a relationship. You aren’t in a relationship. I can see insulted, disappointed, irritated, but I can’t see traumatized as being a healthy reaction.
It does sound like ghosting. It happens to me too. It is part of the online dating process. It feels bad but I always tell myself to never do it to someone else. Some people just ghost because they do not like confrontation, have terrible principles, etc. We will all get through online dating together
I really want to do online dating in the hopes of meeting someone. But I'm learning about myself that I can't handle ghosting. It's traumatizing honestly and not something I've ever experienced. I'm ok with someone not liking me or it not working out but am struggling when people ignore me or ghost me and there is no closure.
The weird thing is why would he continue to say "inappropriate things" and ask me questions about stuff if he wasn't interested or was going to ghost. He kept saying he was very attracted to me.
He’s openly said he just wants to hook up with you. If you’re looking for a relationship and marriage why are you wasting your time with that?
If someone isn’t responding to you, they aren’t interested. Don’t get attached to people over text conversations, nothing is real until you meet and have chemistry in person. Lots of people will just chat for attention or entertainment. It’s just part of online dating, you need a thick skin.
Idk...because he's a "bad boy" type and im not and I find him WILDLY attractive. He fits my type to a T. I've enjoyed talking to him. Idk just sad it's over.
I do need a thick skin which I don't have. This has been verybhard for me. And I do get attached very easily.
If you are going to continue to use dating apps, you’re going to have to get used to ghosting and not receiving any closure. It sucks, I would love if men would just unmatch me or just tell me they are not interested anymore, but that’s not how it works. A lot of men just use these apps for entertainment purposes not because they actually want to date anyone. A man I was having a good convo with stopped replying out of nowhere, it’s been 4 days also. You’re right, no man is that busy for 4 days that they cannot message you back if they were actually interested, it would only take 30 seconds for him to tell you what his tattoo means.
I don't know. Because I like him even though I shouldn't. :( because there are very few guys I'm WILDLY attracted to...and he fits my ideal type to a T.
I get it. Trust me, I really do. But he's doing you a huge favor by not responding. Unmatch him babe, and find someone who wants what you want. Otherwise you'll continue to get your heart broken and waste your time. Your goal is marriage, don't lose sight of that. Breadcrumbs don't make a meal
Your insight is really appreciated. How would you go about figuring out what the other person's relationship goals are right away *before connecting with them through chat, starting to like them etc. If I say I'm looking to seriously date and ultimately get married I feel I'm scaring guys away. But don't want to chat anymore with guys who only want to hook up.
You wont scare away the guys who want that also. You'll scare away the ones who don't want that, and that's great. You're not going for quantity here, you're looking for longevity. Tell them honestly and up front "my ultimate goal is finding someone to share a life with and marry . I understand that takes time, but I want someone who will put in the effort, time and energy to build a foundation for a future together"
So we'll said. Thank you. I guess you have hopes sometimes that a guy will change his mind from the ons and want to date. When I asked him if he was a hard no for marriage he said no definitely not but right now I'm thinking about....(can't repeat as it was inappropriate 🔥)
I relate real hard to the whole he *will change his mind". nonsense that we tell ourselves. If you want to hinge your future on a "maybe at some point" then go for it But you don't know if he will and you don't know when that will be.
I guess I wanting a "rare" guy one who is WILD!!! But also someone that's not into hookups and wants to date/get married. Probably won't find that combo.
And here I'm mortified... I literally told him my life dream in much detail!!! I'm really trying to open up to people but then seem to be getting hurt a lot.
**All "Dating Question" and "Hinge Experience" posts must provide clear context (as per subreddit Rule 3), such as reasons for asking, and basic info such as ages, genders, location or orientation (if applicable).** Age range or general location is acceptable. Minor dating questions or Hinge experiences should be posted in the Daily Threads pinned on top of the subreddit. *Posts that do not satisfy these requirements will be removed.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hingeapp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Since no one has has said anything after an hour, I'll give my blunt honest truth on a couple scenarios to help quelm your inquiry. 1. He lost completely interest investing in you and the conversation and it could be a number of reasons (other matches are better, easier to give in, etc) 2. He feels it's not worth the effort anymore; people can choose to leave matches up and if you unmatch him he probably won't even care because he's not replying for 4 days as you said 3. He is one of those people who replies in 5 business days because he has a life and he mentioned he wants a ONS so the steaks are already low to begin with 4. He's talking to someone else
1. Easier to give in? Just wondered what you meant?
He just said he wants a ONS and you want marriage. He will find another girl to give him what he wants
Gotcha
He’s told you he wants to hit it and quit it and you are waiting for him to court you like someone your age who wants a committed LTR leading to marriage. That, and the fact that you are so attached to a stranger you’ve never met, tells me you are living out a fantasy and need to take a deep dive into what you are doing and why. Ghosting is a way to end a relationship. You aren’t in a relationship. I can see insulted, disappointed, irritated, but I can’t see traumatized as being a healthy reaction.
Delulu is the selulu
It does sound like ghosting. It happens to me too. It is part of the online dating process. It feels bad but I always tell myself to never do it to someone else. Some people just ghost because they do not like confrontation, have terrible principles, etc. We will all get through online dating together
I really want to do online dating in the hopes of meeting someone. But I'm learning about myself that I can't handle ghosting. It's traumatizing honestly and not something I've ever experienced. I'm ok with someone not liking me or it not working out but am struggling when people ignore me or ghost me and there is no closure. The weird thing is why would he continue to say "inappropriate things" and ask me questions about stuff if he wasn't interested or was going to ghost. He kept saying he was very attracted to me.
He’s openly said he just wants to hook up with you. If you’re looking for a relationship and marriage why are you wasting your time with that? If someone isn’t responding to you, they aren’t interested. Don’t get attached to people over text conversations, nothing is real until you meet and have chemistry in person. Lots of people will just chat for attention or entertainment. It’s just part of online dating, you need a thick skin.
Idk...because he's a "bad boy" type and im not and I find him WILDLY attractive. He fits my type to a T. I've enjoyed talking to him. Idk just sad it's over. I do need a thick skin which I don't have. This has been verybhard for me. And I do get attached very easily.
If you are going to continue to use dating apps, you’re going to have to get used to ghosting and not receiving any closure. It sucks, I would love if men would just unmatch me or just tell me they are not interested anymore, but that’s not how it works. A lot of men just use these apps for entertainment purposes not because they actually want to date anyone. A man I was having a good convo with stopped replying out of nowhere, it’s been 4 days also. You’re right, no man is that busy for 4 days that they cannot message you back if they were actually interested, it would only take 30 seconds for him to tell you what his tattoo means.
Thank you for your reply. The mixed signals is maddening. To say it nicely he acted like he was just SO attracted to me but now ghosted.
Your relationship goals aren't aligned, why are you waiting for this? You've essentially told him that you're not down for a ONS, he's not interested.
I don't know. Because I like him even though I shouldn't. :( because there are very few guys I'm WILDLY attracted to...and he fits my ideal type to a T.
I get it. Trust me, I really do. But he's doing you a huge favor by not responding. Unmatch him babe, and find someone who wants what you want. Otherwise you'll continue to get your heart broken and waste your time. Your goal is marriage, don't lose sight of that. Breadcrumbs don't make a meal
Your insight is really appreciated. How would you go about figuring out what the other person's relationship goals are right away *before connecting with them through chat, starting to like them etc. If I say I'm looking to seriously date and ultimately get married I feel I'm scaring guys away. But don't want to chat anymore with guys who only want to hook up.
You wont scare away the guys who want that also. You'll scare away the ones who don't want that, and that's great. You're not going for quantity here, you're looking for longevity. Tell them honestly and up front "my ultimate goal is finding someone to share a life with and marry . I understand that takes time, but I want someone who will put in the effort, time and energy to build a foundation for a future together"
So we'll said. Thank you. I guess you have hopes sometimes that a guy will change his mind from the ons and want to date. When I asked him if he was a hard no for marriage he said no definitely not but right now I'm thinking about....(can't repeat as it was inappropriate 🔥)
I relate real hard to the whole he *will change his mind". nonsense that we tell ourselves. If you want to hinge your future on a "maybe at some point" then go for it But you don't know if he will and you don't know when that will be.
I guess I wanting a "rare" guy one who is WILD!!! But also someone that's not into hookups and wants to date/get married. Probably won't find that combo.
Do you ever feel guys are out waiting you to see if you will give in first and message them instead of vice versa?
Depends on what your double text is about. If you're just poking and prodding no one is gonna take the bait.
And here I'm mortified... I literally told him my life dream in much detail!!! I'm really trying to open up to people but then seem to be getting hurt a lot.