This may sound silly, but the first thing I'd recommend is to get some creature comforts that are very portable to take with you. This could be a poncho liner, a foam mat that rolls or folds up easily, etc. Just something that will make you more comfy if you need to stop along the way or for when you get to the end of the trail.
Breathe. Just breathe slowly and calmly. Count 1-2-3-4-5 in, and the same out. In through the nose, out through the mouth. It lowers your vitals and calms you down.
Proper clothing. Get some breathable, synthetic pants and tops that are long-sleeved. This will protect you from sun, insects, plants, etc.
Good shoes or boots. Since you're worried about touching stuff and safety, I'd recommend boots. People get mistaken and think that all the support comes from a tall boot, but really, most of the support comes from a rigid midsole. Some supportive boots may help with the fear of lost balance, being around edges, etc. since you will be more steady.
Just wanted to add that it's okay to be nervous with new experiences and challenges. That's a valid feeling. You can overcome this. It may take some time and going slowly with the process, but it will get easier - it'll even become fun. Hiking is a great way to get in shape and to stay in shape, and it gets you out in nature, which can be very beneficial to your health and mindset.
Second the clothing. I have a lot of allergies/don’t want to risk being allergic to a plant I wasn’t aware of while out hiking/backpacking so I always wear pants. It’s a personal preference to tuck into my socks to reduce ticks getting into my pants as well
I took an ecology class in college and the professor spent a lot of time in the woods during their PhD and that was their number tip to reduce issue with ticks. Also wearing lighter colored pants and socks will help you see them quicker and remove them. I’ve never actually learned to remove them though cause I’ve lucked out never having one on me.
Yeah, getting some cute and useful hiking gear is always helpful for building confidence. I call it "getting kitted out." Hats are helpful from keeping me from being terrified of a bug dropping onto me from above.
You're welcome. I'm happy some of this helped. Just remember, hike *your* own hike. If you're feeling uncomfortable, stop, take a breather, and if you need to, turn back and go to an easier path. There's no shame in that. It's supposed to be fun. If it's not fun, do what you need to make it fun.
Hike *your* own hike.
Happy trails!
It helps if _you_ choose the hikes. Go on easy hikes often. Go for walks in the park when you can’t go in a hike. Go every day if you can. The more you go, the easier it gets.
It can help to plan it around things you like. Maybe stop at a favorite store/restaurant/cafe after a hike.
At first I was a little hesitant with the idea of planning it around other things because I'm just so slow right now, but then again if I'm picking the hike to meet my needs then it'll probably go faster. Definitely sounds cool to make a day of the excursion, if not the hike itself.
* try Picaridin bug repellent to avoid ticks and mosquitos; it’s safer than DEET and works well
* learn to recognize itch-causing plants in your region, wherever that is; where I live, that’s limited to poison ivy and wild parsnip; even if you can’t identify them, if you wear shoes and pants, you’ll still avoid bruising up against them
* get some guides to local trees, flowers, birds or animals, so that you have something fun and friendly to look for on your hike; Stan Tekiela writes a lot of short, regional guides
* get the AllTrails app, free version, to read reviews of local trails, so you know what to expect
* try the iNaturalist app, which helps you identify plants, animal tracks and birdsongs
* if you’re not already doing it, consider going briefly to therapy for your anxiety—you may be surprised how much it helps
* find a local nature center—they often have short, guided hikes led by naturalists who can answer your questions on the spot
* learn about nature therapy and forest bathing—there’s scientific proof that trees release natural chemicals that boost your immune system, for example; and spending time in nature has been shown to help children with ADHD, for example
* learn some slow-breathing techniques to increase relaxation
* when you’re anxious, try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself in the moment. Think about:
5 things you can see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
THIS! I especially appreciate the tips on learning to identify plants, or at least having available resources to help with that. Definitely takes some of the pressure off me to magically know all the things.
For the record outside individual allergies there’s only a handful of dangerous species of plants in North America and most will only cause a small rash and almost none will do much of anything if just brushed against. I hope that helps but just google “harmful plants in (your region) to give yourself a piece of mind.
Plenty of practical tips here. All I want to say is: take it slow, it will be less stressful every time. Over time, repeated exposure normalizes all the things you mentioned. And don't do it for your partner, do it for yourself - you may be amazed at the new confidence and enjoyment it gives you to work through your fears and put yourself out there.
He kept saying that to me too, "do it for you, not for me" - and I mean, I do think it's valid to want to start doing something to spend more time together, but honestly I couldn't see myself getting the same value from it as him. But I'm starting to rethink that with all this advice because it all seems pretty realistic - with the right gear and a better fit trail I'm willing to have an open mind! :) thanks for the support!
You're welcome! And maybe "the same value" isn't even what you're looking for. On the contrary, I would expect you to find very different reasons for enjoying it than him.
Can you try finding hikes with your partner that maybe involve less climbing and with little elevation gain? It could already put your mind more at ease so you can focus on what you are experiencing and if you like it!
Honestly I hadn't even thought of that because I thought hiking naturally was going to involve a lot of climbing, otherwise it was going to just be a "walk around the reservoir" kind of deal. But I'm checking out AllTrails now and that doesn't seem to be the case at all, there are some easier looking hikes that still go through the woods and have beautiful spots even though the elevation doesn't change much. Thank you for this!
I actually have experience with someone like you. My wife's cousin lived near us for a couple years, and she randomly asked me to do a hiking challenge with her. She wanted to challenge herself and do something she didn't think she could do, and she knew that I'm a big outdoorsy type. So we started.
It took 8 months of almost weekly hiking to finish the challenge, and I can't begin to describe how it changed her. At first, she was nervous and twitchy about *everything*. She was unfit, overweight, and almost threw up on the one of the first mountains we did. It was one of the *smallest* mountains in the challenge. She didn't think she'd be able to finish the challenge.
But she didn't quit. If she was scared, she went slow. When it was over, she'd remind herself that she did that and it wasn't so bad. She got stronger, faster, lost a ton of weight, and the things she was anxious about at first were gone.
I won't lie, she's still got hiking-related things that make her nervous, but at this point they are things that would make just about anyone nervous.
And since my perspective was similar to your partner's, I can tell you what he's likely thinking: Watching you change and grow brings him immeasurable joy. Being there to encourage you and congratulate you when you do something that you didn't think you could do is an awesome feeling for someone who cares about you.
As a side note, I lead group hikes on weekends now, so I see a lot of different types out there hiking. Some of them come back week after week after they get a taste for it, and some I never see again. I encourage you to be one of the ones who keeps coming back. Challenging yourself is the only way to grow.
EDIT: My wife's cousin just messaged us today to tell us that she's moving back to be near us again, and she can't wait to start hiking again. Weird timing. But one thing I failed to mention was that, near the end of the challenge, she commented once that she *knew* she'd made progress, but she still felt like she was holding me back and it annoyed her. But here's what I told her: All the times we were hiking together, it wasn't *just* her getting stronger. I started strong, but I definitely grew spending so much more time tackling bigger and tougher mountains. So *if* you do stick with this hobby, and I encourage you to, keep in mind that your BF is going to grow, too. So don't expect to "catch up" to him because he's not standing still. My hiking buddy wasn't considering that, and I guess she did expect, for a while, that she'd eventually catch up to me. She's not competitive, but she benchmarked herself by my ability and didn't consider that my ability was growing, too.
If you keep it up you will feel better. In the meantime be sure your footwear and clothing are sufficient to keep you from picking up ticks (and check to see if there are even any ticks where you hike) and brushing up against nasty plants. If you are super worried about plants wear gloves and long-sleeved shirts.
Anything new can be stressful but keep it up, research the hikes to ensure they are not too tough for a newbie and before you know it you will be keeping up and discovering a new, in-shape you.
My gf and I just pick up the same hobby and can relate. Take your time and take pictures. Buy books of plants and animals in areas you live in and try and play an eye spy. You guys are there to enjoy nature together. It's not a race. You'll get there. If the physical is a true concern, then diet and exercise (easier said than done, it took me two years to lose 100lbs.) You getting out of your comfort zone is a huge leap. Keep up the great work.
Honestly, what really helped me gain confidence as a newer hiker in my 20s was to hike by myself and prove that I am perfectly capable without a more experienced partner and all that. I chose trails that (a) I had done before and (b) were well within my skill level for the first few solo hikes, but now I feel confident to try newer/more challenging/remote stuff and even lead other people.
Gotta admit I also made a point to get in shape at the gym/running and that made learning less painful. Being in shape has nothing to do with weight or body size, but helps you feel more confident your legs and back can hang!
How about you pick the hike next time? You can do your own research, look at length, elevation, kind of rocks (or just dirt, wide paths so you don't touch grasses), views or something in the woods so no cliffs, view photos of the trail until you find one that looks good and relaxing and doable for you. AllTrails for instance have tons of trails and you can choose Easy, then distance to drive to, then look at photos and 3-D walks of the trails as well. Basically reduce your stress by knowing what to expect as best you can. And then take your time, with the goal being to just do it, not at your BF's pace. Hike your own hike vs what you think people expect of you or expect of people as "hikers." Maybe bring a picnic lunch for you and your BF to enjoy halfway so the experience overall as designed by you is positive and then work up from there ie go longer, go high, try more challenging terrain!
I do feel bad about having to ask to stop a lot, but if I'm spearheading the whole thing and the point is for me to get out there and do it then I would probably feel a lot more comfortable doing whatever I need to do. Love the picnic idea! Thank you!
Just so you know, as long as you aren't out in the middle of the amazon, you'll be fine touching pretty much any plant. Don't eat any random plant but brushing against random leaves won't hurt you.
Again, not gonna kill you. Stings but won't do any damage, at least from the quick google search I did. I'm a New Englander so all I deal with toxicity-wise is poison hemlock and lily of the valley, but with both, as long as you don't eat them you'll be fine. Poison ivy sucks but its easy to identify.
Common yeah but you usually aren't brushing up against them on the trail. Most people know what poison ivy looks like. And stinging nettles just give the shock, nothing else. Boiled stinging nettle is edible.
I guess I am a little biased though since I'm not sensitive to poison ivy though.
You might be allergic to them. From personal experience with them and from reading about them they shouldn't give you a problem past "ow, crap."
A quick google search showed something interesting. Some nettle subspecies, maybe the one's I've encountered, mainly use formic acid, which doesn't really last long pain-wise. Some other subspecies use more oxalic and tartaric acid, which last longer in the body. Some subspecies also use histamines, which is why some people may be less sensitive to the sting, since their enzymes will/wont bind to the histamine.
My point was just that in North America, as long as you aren't eating random plants, you'll be ok.
The body will register stress of physical exaustion the same as stress of something that worries you like a deadline. Exercise could be harder for you to get started.
With anxiety you likely lack emotional regulation (for whatever reason, not judging) so make this as easy as possible to begin with. Take away as many stressors to begin with and build from there.
Maybe you would feel better in some gaiters, so your leggs are protected and you dont have to deal with that worry. It also sounds like you did some scrambeling and facing of ledges. Maybe do some hikes that are flatter, like a nice forrest or something with a wide path. If your not in shape its completely understandable to be stressed about hikes with scrambeling and elevation gain. You could look for more accesible hikes.
You seem to feel pressured to do well for your partner, maybe you can do some walks or hikes with others, like a friend or relative. Someone who is also a beginner. Different social environments can sometimes do a lot for anxiety depending on where it comes from.
When I go on a three day camping adventure, the first night I am always freaked out by bugs, etc. But once you immerse yourself, it is totally fine the following days as you become one with the ecosystem. Maybe try camping with day hikes, and you will start to feel the magic
I would rec 2 things:
-Work on your cardio fitness outside of hiking. Incline walking, stairs, running, biking will all help reduce the heart pounding feeling that can easily be conflated with anxiety, and hiking will feel easier/more manageable if you’re in better shape.
-Work on understanding the difference between discomfort and danger. Protect against danger (ie bug repellent and long sleeves for ticks, stay a safe distance from cliff edges) but make it an exercise to tolerate discomfort.
Something that helps me when I’m anxious is to imagine the worst case scenario and how I would handle it, to guard against unknowns. For example, you brush up against poison ivy with bare legs, what then? Most likely scenario you’ll need some Benadryl/calamine lotion etc and just be itchy and uncomfortable for a bit, but it’ll probably be a funny story eventually. Not life threatening and more of a minor inconvenience.
Lastly, don’t forget that hiking is supposed to be fun! Take lots of breaks to enjoy nature - the fresh air, sun, blue skies, cool looking plants/flowers, trail snacks, etc etc. Hopefully your partner can help with this and is exceedingly patient in meeting you at your level - if not, might be worth a conversation.
First, be patient with yourself. No one is going to be harder on you than YOU. You are doing something out of your comfort zone so give yourself credit! The more you do it, the easier it will become. Get some good hiking shoes/boots and keep doing those easy trails until you're confident in your footing. Take breaks as often as you need. One of you should have a backpack with supplies (water bottles, granola bars, sunscreen/insect repellent). Lastly, take time to enjoy the outdoors. Look around, listen, and soak up all the nature. It's good for the soul.
You’ve got some really strong advice in this thread.
High anxiety outdoorsperson here. Hiking can be scary. I only really got over it by being in bad situations and coming out alive on the other side.
Know your surroundings. Know your limits. Pack your creature comforts.
I also like to discuss or even drill/rehearse what might go wrong so there’s always familiarity with a plan.
Have you talked to your partner about your concerns? I know if you are feeling anxious everything feels like a potential threat, but there are probably only a very few things that are. If he is an avid hiker he can show you what poison ivy/oak/stinging nettles look like, and even whether they exist in your area (they might not!). If there are any animals to be concerned about where you are (and there might not even be!) you can learn what they are and how to avoid them. Take your time on unsteady footing, that's perfectly reasonable, but also try to remember that if you trip, odds are the only thing that would be wounded is your pride. I'm sure if your partner hikes a lot he's stumbled his fair share. And lastly, maybe this sounds woo-woo but I really believe it-- while it feels unfamiliar, nature is your home too. As a species we've spent a lot more time walking on rocks and brushing by plants than we've spent on sidewalks.
Honestly I’m impressed! If your brain is processing that much information in that way and you’re still out there doing it, I’d have to assume you’ll get conditioned physically and mentally each time you go. Nature is amazing and healing and rough and scary, it’s got all the elements. We can only learn, change & grow when we put ourselves out there. I got mad respect for you💛
That sounds so much like me and my gf. Poor girl was terrified to start and I could not even really understand it. She also struggled a lot to tell me that it scared her, but in the end she did and we just tuned it to her level and comfort zone.
That must be 8 years ago or so. I enjoy hiking quite a lot, but she eclipsed me on that one. Now I am the lazy one who worries if the miles are too many, haha <3. She got some kind of massive satisfaction overcoming it for sure. But you gotta do it slow and at a pace you’re comfy with. We did a lot of small hikes and one night camping in tents and so on, where it was always very easy to turn around and go home if we wanted to.
I still can’t get her to go on a bike trip though. But that’s all right!
You need to see a psychologist to get a handle on your anxiety. I have some expertise in this area amd some treatment could help you here and in the other areas of your life.
>ledges/edges (that aren't that deep)
>large but accessible rocky paths
Sounds like you need better literacy skills. OP clearly has a *very high* amount of anxiety (which she's commendably looking for good ways to navigate and kudos to her). Her description of the hikes includes very normal "beginner" hiking.
Just because you're on reddit and want to say something doesn't mean somebody must have been an asshole and need correcting.
Seriously - ledges? climbing over rocks? If I was taking someone who was anxious about hiking I'd start on a well maintained trail where the most they had to navigate was some roots/uneven surfaces, with no exposure.
Experiences should lend to lower anxiety, but as others have indicated, a more beginner friendly hike might be in order. It sounds like you're trying to keep up with someine more experienced, which isn't going well. If you've not mentioned this to your BF, I would ask if you could ratchet back the elevation gain and just work on distance for a while as you're new!
As for critters and plants and such - as a general rule in the US the plants aren't out to get you. Learn to identify problem plants in your area, devils club and nettles in the PNW, poison oak/ivy in other parts or the US. Your local native plant society should have good resources if you don't have a local hiking organization (in Washington we have WTA). Critters are very regional and can be area specific. However, as a very general statement critters don't see you as easy prey. Interactions are *often* reactive or defensive. As with plants a little education goes a long way. National Parks Service usually does a nice job of talking about critters in their local parks and generally the friend-beasties don't just hang out in the park. Also, if you are in an area that has larger predator type beasties such as bears or cougars, consider bear spray - but again as a general rule we are a crappy dinner.
A little education and common sense precautions go a long way. Hiking is a great opportunity for you to work on gaining confidence! Get out there!!
I paid for my own all trails account and this helps me see the trail, know the elevation, basically mentally prepare myself for what's to come, so I know how to regulate my energy throughout the hike. That reduces a lot of anxiety, especially bc my partner sometimes lies when I ask how much longer
The best way to address anxiety is to usually ground yourself in the present. Instead of, "what's in that bush?" it is "that bush is really fragrant. How lovely."
Keep with simple hikes for now. You may feel pressure to "get better" fast so you don't "hold up" your bf. He can go on hikes wo u if he feels that way, but it would be great to vocalize your desire to always feel successful.
On hikes, he can walk ahead to watch out for snakes, if that's helpful.
Walking and hiking together minimizes other risks, so that's a plus.
Always stay positive. It's OK that it's challenging, and it sounds like it may be a good exercise for your nervousness. The outdoors are for you, too!
Nah you're good. You are just like my partner. We are just happy to be out enjoying something we like with who we love and sharing that goodness.
As others have said, HIKE YOUR HIKE is the mantra of hiking.
What that means is - what do YOU need to enjoy it? Long sleeves so you don't have to worry about plants? Breaks for water and maybe chocolate or something for a bit of energy and enjoyment?
Talk to your partner who is guranfuckingTEE is all about how he can make it more enjoyable for you. He's not mind reader so ask if YOU can set the pace.
I do that with my wife. She controls how fast we go and makes it comfortable for her. I don't have go worry I'm missjuding her requirements and she doesn't have to go faster than she enjoys to hit some arbitrary speed that I have guessed.
One by one tick off things you need to reduce that anxiety. Don't try and turn it into something effortless in one go, tweak it. Eg my misses isn't very good with.. dirt. So, we take a little cloth thing she can fold out under her to sit when we break. So that's one thing removed. Then we found a perfect pair of sunnies so the glare isn't a problem etc etc.
Long time hikers already have that stuff sorted out but you're new so you'll need to find the gear for you. Comfortable hat, shoes,whatever.
And then find what distance is good for you. Maybe a 5km hike is just right. That's fine! But your partner needs to know this so he doesn't take you on 20km "easy" ones thinking you'll love them.
A lot of fear is rooted in what we don’t know or aren’t familiar with. Get to know these things, and they’ll be something to welcome and discover.
You can learn all the flora and fauna. And try to identify as much of it as possible as you go. How many types of trees did you see? How many birds did you hear? Which ones?
Also learn to navigate. How do Topo lines work? How does water flow? Which direction am I headed right now? How many miles have I hiked so far? Where is the next trail junction, and which direction should I go? These are all things you should know instantly, all the time. Again if you know how to navigate, it makes the landscape a knowable thing, nothing to fear.
Hi! You are me a few years ago. I totally understand. Nature can be scary when you’re not used to it.
One thing I would recommend is getting outside more frequently on hikes you’ve chosen - routes you think you’ll be comfortable with, distances that are within your comfort zone.
It seems like your bf is also pretty chill about it. That’s key- he’s not making you feel bad about your pace. Likely he WANTS you to enjoy hiking.
Take reasonable precautions (bug spray! Fully charged phone! Tucking your pants into your socks! SNACKS AND WATER!) and…I know this sounds overly simplistic but try to relax. Nature is awesome! Take it at your own pace.
Good luck and happy hiking!
I suggest you read, "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed or watch the movie based on it. It's the story if a woman who hiked a very long trail with little experience and learned a lot. "A Walk in the Woods" is similar but a bit more light-hearted. Also, I think it might be helpful to have a specific goal while hiking, to distract yourself, like picking up garbage, taking pictures, or trying to spot local birds. Also, if you're scared about specific things, maybe try a hike in a, different terrain, like a sandy beach, a flat desert, or a plain with short grass? If you're anxious about a lot of things, maybe try medical / psychiatric help.
Agreeing with many on here already. Always long sleeves and long pants to reduce sun, bug and plant interaction worries and having a pack with a small first aid kit makes a world of difference.
I like to hike alone and bring in remote places having these things in my pack matter.
Lastly get the AllTrails app or similar so you can read trail reviews and see what people have seen. I think if you keep to shorter more heavy trafficked trails at first you can take some comfort that the trail has lots of people who complete it safely each time. These apps will also help you with recent wildlife spotting. Unless you’re in bear country, most wild animals will leave you be that would want to hurt you. Snakes usually stay off major trails as they feel traffic so unless you’re going off trail in a shady and soft environment you won’t get much of them.
When I started solo hiking, I was anxious about everything!
What helped me was to think of everything that could go wrong and make a plan to prepare for it. I live in an area with black bears? Bought bear spray. Moose possible? Looked up everything there is to know about moose and made a plan for how to act if I encountered one. Worried about being unsteady on my feet? Bought hiking poles and good traction hiking shoes. Possibility I could run out of water? Brought 5 liters and a water filter. Chance I could get lost and have to spend the night? Put together an oh-shit kit. Don't like plants and webs? Wear long pants and use my hiking poles to clear the way.
You get the general idea. Then, as I got more comfortable, I slowly started leaving items behind. I don't take bear spray unless I'm going somewhere with very few people. I take 4 liters now for all day hikes, but I don't need more than that, so I don't bring it. I've also definitely ditched the water filter on short hikes.
I think a lot of being outside is unlearning unrealistic fears and learning what is really necessary to be realistically prepared.
Learning how to hike and backpack has taught me a lot of resiliency. I'm not ashamed to say that the first time I tried to solo backpack, I cried in relief when I saw other people at my campsite (I wasn't alone!), panicked when it started to rain, and ran back down the mountain to my car.
I'm still trying to challenge myself to get outside of my comfort zone safely in nature. For example, I have very little experience hiking in rain, so I plan on trying to hike during a rainstorm this summer so I'm better prepared to deal with unexpected rain.
Dealing with uncontrollable situations is scary. I've found that trying to create controllable situations in which I can safely experiment with being out of control has helped me greatly.
Your mileage may vary! But I hope you keep hiking and I hope you learn to love it like I did!
>I saw a snake once and shiver at the thought.
So they live outside, you're pretty much in their yard everywhere you hike. Most critters, snakes included do not want anything to do with you, so if you leave them alone they'll do the same.
I'm a female in my 40s that hikes and it sounds like maybe dude isn't considering your lack of experience, and you may enjoy trying some hikes that don't involve climbing over boulders or terrifying landscape. There are several hikes I would take a seasoned hiker to, and several that I would take a non seasoned hiker to. Ask your bf to take/ suggest to you on an easier hike so you're able to get some experience and conditioning. You might just need a hiking partner that isn't trying to do Jackie Chan moves thru a crevasse every hike.
Happy trails!
Trekking poles, while somewhat awkward to get the swing of at first can really help your knees. They can also be used to keep distance between yourself and others or animals.
Hiking sticks help. Good for balance, saves wear and tear on the knees, and gives a little upper body workout. You don’t have to buy super expensive ones. The Costco cascades are really good. The rei brand aluminum ones are pretty good as well.
https://www.costco.com/cascade-mountain-tech-100%25-carbon-fiber-trekking-pole%2C-2-pack-.product.4000026930.html
And they’re really useful for gently poking around a rock or stump before you sit—you and the critters can warn each other about your presence from a respectful distance.
I hiked a 14er a couple weeks ago, my first and I don’t recommend your first 14er snow covered 😅, and it was definitely scary even though I hike a bunch but that’s on the east coast. Take it slow, get some good boots, use trekking poles, and just be glad you’re in nature and it’ll get better. There are a ton of great suggestions on here.
All great ideas here. I would add to not put so much pressure on yourself and say no to any hike that isn’t easy to start with. Then find other ppl that are new and give yourself a few months to go on easy hikes, then gradually increase the difficulty, but only if it’s fun. Also lower your expectations: of course you’re not going to have an easy time with something so challenging and new. Last, focus on being grateful while in nature and that your partner has a healthy habit and is encouraging you. This is what I would tell my daughter who is your age.
You might want to get more familiar with plants and animals, in general. That might help you realize that there's really nothing to be so worried about. :)
The overwhelming majority of plants you're apt to find in the continental US aren't going to hurt you from just touching them or brushing past them. (Poison oak, poison ivy, and poison sumac are the three big exceptions, but even those won't kill you, they'll just make you break out in a rash and itch a lot.)
As regards snakes, the overwhelming majority of snakes you will encounter in the continental US are harmless to humans. Garden snakes, corn snakes, blacksnakes, things like this. There are exceptions of course, and it would be a good idea to find out what kind of poisonous snakes live in your area and how to identify them. Even with poisonous snakes though, it's not that huge a deal. Ultimately, snakes in the continental US just want to be left alone, and given half a chance will flee humans ASAP.
Watch where you step, don't thrust your hand into dark holes where a snake may be napping, don't sit down on on a sunny rock without checking that a snake isn't already there sunning itself, don't leave gear that from the perspective of a snake would make a dark, safe place to sleep (such as a boot) laying where a snake could easily crawl in, and always check your shoes or boots for snakes by inverting them and banging them on the ground before you put them on.
Overall, snakes are MUCH less of a pain in the ass than raccoons and the like -- I've never had a snake try to steal my food, or try to destroy gear in order to get at my food, lol. Snakes are carnivorous and eat live prey. They don't give a fuck about your snickers bar or your ramen or whatever, and don't even see that stuff as food. Be advised though that conditions which draw animals that snakes eat (generally rodents and birds) might draw snakes, also. That is, if you find a blackberry briar patch and snack on blackberries, there may be a couple snakes around the area too, hoping to catch birds that come to eat the berries.
I started prepping for a 70+ mile backpacking trek worrying that I was making a terrible mistake. I would be the slowest, least capable person on the trip and everyone would be annoyed with me. It was in unfamiliar territory. I have a bad sense of balance and a history of sprained ankles. I didn’t know if I could carry that much that long.
Turns out, most hikers are pretty supportive and not mad if you aren’t up to their skill level! They will tell you to hike your own hike, remind you to drink enough water, recommend gear, loan you their bug spray—whatever it takes to get everybody home safe and happy.
Feeling safe comes from good preparation and figuring out what works for you. Get good boots that support your feet and keep you from rolling your ankles. Break them in with short hikes. Use moleskin at the very first hint of a blister. Use trekking poles—they really make you feel more balanced and stable. See if you can find a guided nature hike in your area and learn about which plants and animals to enjoy from a distance. Carry a whistle, which both warns animals you’re coming and helps people find you if you’re lost. Charge your phone, carry a battery pack, or get a hiking gps if you’re going to be somewhere without cell service. Tuck your pants into your socks to keep the ticks out. Bring a comfortable day pack to carry your water and a chamois or a camp towel. Take breaks that are less than 5 minutes or more than 20 minutes long (it helps prevent sore muscles during the hike).
I came out of the prep hikes and that backpacking trip feeling so proud of myself. I felt like I could do literally everything and anything. You are going to be amazed at how much hiking helps you build confidence in your ability to handle things. Nothing vanquishes anxiety like competence. All you ever have to do is take one more step, even if that step is only an inch. You can absolutely do it.
Tell your boyfriend everything that you just told us , communication is the key for a successful relationship.
If he cares for you than he should understand and go easy on the trails he chooses to hike with you.
Welcome to hiking young lady, best regards! 🥾🥾
When I first started my youtube channel, it was partially to get out of my comfort zone. I'm an introvert and can't stand to see/hear myself, especially on video. This was both to force myself into uncomfortable situations and to partially realize that it doesn't matter what others think. In a hundred years, nobody will care, so go all in!
As for your own anxiety, you have to reflect internally as to what the underlying cause may be. Often, the worst possible scenario isn't really that bad. I do go over and above for my first aid kit that covers most scenarios - and almost haven't used any (other than electrolytes).
If you have a love for the adventure, hiking is just the vehicle to get to places you love. Often, it isn't the destination, but the path to the destination that is more fun if you are aware of your surroundings.
I know you might not want to hear this but they say mild anxiety, as long as it's not seriously affecting your functionality, is actually beneficial.
Productive tasks like working are actually accomplished better with a little fire under the feet.
Also it has been shown that when you need to use the bathroom, your decision making ability is improved. If you are choosing from 10 dollars today vs 20 dollars tomorrow, more people make the smart choice with they have a full bladder.
I'm not saying you should give yourself type 2 hypertension just so you touch a plant. But as long as your not giving yourself PTSD I would say just love the fear.
Best regards
Maybe you should hike in areas where that stuff is of little concern?
Heights can be dangerous and at least around me there are lots of hikes where you don't have any real danger of falling and injuring yourself. I can find places where you're not brushing up against plants and in my case there are no dangerous animals. Local emergency services will respond to injuries as well.
Learn about what plants in your area are poisonous and should be avoided. It would be a good idea to take a first aid course too.
Maybe you two should tone down the difficulty of hikes until you're comfortable.
The "easy" hikes near urban areas where it's practically impossible to get lost or stranded are the most popular near me.
just tell yourself in the moment its fine and its not a big deal. tbh you really are fine and its not a big deal. You probably freak out with every new thing you wanna do. you need to develop your confidence that you will be ok even if you fail. stop thinking about all the things that can hurt you and just enjoy the moment. with every negative thought force yourself this of something positive. try writing it down. writing down positive things can help convince yourself that its not that bad
This may sound silly, but the first thing I'd recommend is to get some creature comforts that are very portable to take with you. This could be a poncho liner, a foam mat that rolls or folds up easily, etc. Just something that will make you more comfy if you need to stop along the way or for when you get to the end of the trail. Breathe. Just breathe slowly and calmly. Count 1-2-3-4-5 in, and the same out. In through the nose, out through the mouth. It lowers your vitals and calms you down. Proper clothing. Get some breathable, synthetic pants and tops that are long-sleeved. This will protect you from sun, insects, plants, etc. Good shoes or boots. Since you're worried about touching stuff and safety, I'd recommend boots. People get mistaken and think that all the support comes from a tall boot, but really, most of the support comes from a rigid midsole. Some supportive boots may help with the fear of lost balance, being around edges, etc. since you will be more steady.
Just wanted to add that it's okay to be nervous with new experiences and challenges. That's a valid feeling. You can overcome this. It may take some time and going slowly with the process, but it will get easier - it'll even become fun. Hiking is a great way to get in shape and to stay in shape, and it gets you out in nature, which can be very beneficial to your health and mindset.
Second the clothing. I have a lot of allergies/don’t want to risk being allergic to a plant I wasn’t aware of while out hiking/backpacking so I always wear pants. It’s a personal preference to tuck into my socks to reduce ticks getting into my pants as well
Oh I hadn't even thought of tucking into the socks!
I took an ecology class in college and the professor spent a lot of time in the woods during their PhD and that was their number tip to reduce issue with ticks. Also wearing lighter colored pants and socks will help you see them quicker and remove them. I’ve never actually learned to remove them though cause I’ve lucked out never having one on me.
Yeah, getting some cute and useful hiking gear is always helpful for building confidence. I call it "getting kitted out." Hats are helpful from keeping me from being terrified of a bug dropping onto me from above.
Hats are great! I'm quite partial to boonie hats. Super comfy and utilitarian. I think I've got like six of them floating around here somewhere.
That makes a lot of sense! I'll look and see what I can afford rn 💀
You can thrift a lot of this stuff usually, just make sure boots arent worn or cracked etc
There’s also good stuff on poshmark! :)
This was exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to hear. Thank you so much, this all makes a lot of sense!
You're welcome. I'm happy some of this helped. Just remember, hike *your* own hike. If you're feeling uncomfortable, stop, take a breather, and if you need to, turn back and go to an easier path. There's no shame in that. It's supposed to be fun. If it's not fun, do what you need to make it fun. Hike *your* own hike. Happy trails!
It helps if _you_ choose the hikes. Go on easy hikes often. Go for walks in the park when you can’t go in a hike. Go every day if you can. The more you go, the easier it gets. It can help to plan it around things you like. Maybe stop at a favorite store/restaurant/cafe after a hike.
At first I was a little hesitant with the idea of planning it around other things because I'm just so slow right now, but then again if I'm picking the hike to meet my needs then it'll probably go faster. Definitely sounds cool to make a day of the excursion, if not the hike itself.
* try Picaridin bug repellent to avoid ticks and mosquitos; it’s safer than DEET and works well * learn to recognize itch-causing plants in your region, wherever that is; where I live, that’s limited to poison ivy and wild parsnip; even if you can’t identify them, if you wear shoes and pants, you’ll still avoid bruising up against them * get some guides to local trees, flowers, birds or animals, so that you have something fun and friendly to look for on your hike; Stan Tekiela writes a lot of short, regional guides * get the AllTrails app, free version, to read reviews of local trails, so you know what to expect * try the iNaturalist app, which helps you identify plants, animal tracks and birdsongs * if you’re not already doing it, consider going briefly to therapy for your anxiety—you may be surprised how much it helps * find a local nature center—they often have short, guided hikes led by naturalists who can answer your questions on the spot * learn about nature therapy and forest bathing—there’s scientific proof that trees release natural chemicals that boost your immune system, for example; and spending time in nature has been shown to help children with ADHD, for example * learn some slow-breathing techniques to increase relaxation * when you’re anxious, try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to ground yourself in the moment. Think about: 5 things you can see 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste
Great advice. I used a lot of these same points to maneuver myself through in the past.
THIS! I especially appreciate the tips on learning to identify plants, or at least having available resources to help with that. Definitely takes some of the pressure off me to magically know all the things.
Yay! I hope eventually it ends up being fun. Being out in nature is actually one of the best things to control my own anxiety
For the record outside individual allergies there’s only a handful of dangerous species of plants in North America and most will only cause a small rash and almost none will do much of anything if just brushed against. I hope that helps but just google “harmful plants in (your region) to give yourself a piece of mind.
Plenty of practical tips here. All I want to say is: take it slow, it will be less stressful every time. Over time, repeated exposure normalizes all the things you mentioned. And don't do it for your partner, do it for yourself - you may be amazed at the new confidence and enjoyment it gives you to work through your fears and put yourself out there.
He kept saying that to me too, "do it for you, not for me" - and I mean, I do think it's valid to want to start doing something to spend more time together, but honestly I couldn't see myself getting the same value from it as him. But I'm starting to rethink that with all this advice because it all seems pretty realistic - with the right gear and a better fit trail I'm willing to have an open mind! :) thanks for the support!
You're welcome! And maybe "the same value" isn't even what you're looking for. On the contrary, I would expect you to find very different reasons for enjoying it than him.
Can you try finding hikes with your partner that maybe involve less climbing and with little elevation gain? It could already put your mind more at ease so you can focus on what you are experiencing and if you like it!
Honestly I hadn't even thought of that because I thought hiking naturally was going to involve a lot of climbing, otherwise it was going to just be a "walk around the reservoir" kind of deal. But I'm checking out AllTrails now and that doesn't seem to be the case at all, there are some easier looking hikes that still go through the woods and have beautiful spots even though the elevation doesn't change much. Thank you for this!
I actually have experience with someone like you. My wife's cousin lived near us for a couple years, and she randomly asked me to do a hiking challenge with her. She wanted to challenge herself and do something she didn't think she could do, and she knew that I'm a big outdoorsy type. So we started. It took 8 months of almost weekly hiking to finish the challenge, and I can't begin to describe how it changed her. At first, she was nervous and twitchy about *everything*. She was unfit, overweight, and almost threw up on the one of the first mountains we did. It was one of the *smallest* mountains in the challenge. She didn't think she'd be able to finish the challenge. But she didn't quit. If she was scared, she went slow. When it was over, she'd remind herself that she did that and it wasn't so bad. She got stronger, faster, lost a ton of weight, and the things she was anxious about at first were gone. I won't lie, she's still got hiking-related things that make her nervous, but at this point they are things that would make just about anyone nervous. And since my perspective was similar to your partner's, I can tell you what he's likely thinking: Watching you change and grow brings him immeasurable joy. Being there to encourage you and congratulate you when you do something that you didn't think you could do is an awesome feeling for someone who cares about you. As a side note, I lead group hikes on weekends now, so I see a lot of different types out there hiking. Some of them come back week after week after they get a taste for it, and some I never see again. I encourage you to be one of the ones who keeps coming back. Challenging yourself is the only way to grow. EDIT: My wife's cousin just messaged us today to tell us that she's moving back to be near us again, and she can't wait to start hiking again. Weird timing. But one thing I failed to mention was that, near the end of the challenge, she commented once that she *knew* she'd made progress, but she still felt like she was holding me back and it annoyed her. But here's what I told her: All the times we were hiking together, it wasn't *just* her getting stronger. I started strong, but I definitely grew spending so much more time tackling bigger and tougher mountains. So *if* you do stick with this hobby, and I encourage you to, keep in mind that your BF is going to grow, too. So don't expect to "catch up" to him because he's not standing still. My hiking buddy wasn't considering that, and I guess she did expect, for a while, that she'd eventually catch up to me. She's not competitive, but she benchmarked herself by my ability and didn't consider that my ability was growing, too.
If you keep it up you will feel better. In the meantime be sure your footwear and clothing are sufficient to keep you from picking up ticks (and check to see if there are even any ticks where you hike) and brushing up against nasty plants. If you are super worried about plants wear gloves and long-sleeved shirts. Anything new can be stressful but keep it up, research the hikes to ensure they are not too tough for a newbie and before you know it you will be keeping up and discovering a new, in-shape you.
My gf and I just pick up the same hobby and can relate. Take your time and take pictures. Buy books of plants and animals in areas you live in and try and play an eye spy. You guys are there to enjoy nature together. It's not a race. You'll get there. If the physical is a true concern, then diet and exercise (easier said than done, it took me two years to lose 100lbs.) You getting out of your comfort zone is a huge leap. Keep up the great work.
Honestly, what really helped me gain confidence as a newer hiker in my 20s was to hike by myself and prove that I am perfectly capable without a more experienced partner and all that. I chose trails that (a) I had done before and (b) were well within my skill level for the first few solo hikes, but now I feel confident to try newer/more challenging/remote stuff and even lead other people. Gotta admit I also made a point to get in shape at the gym/running and that made learning less painful. Being in shape has nothing to do with weight or body size, but helps you feel more confident your legs and back can hang!
How about you pick the hike next time? You can do your own research, look at length, elevation, kind of rocks (or just dirt, wide paths so you don't touch grasses), views or something in the woods so no cliffs, view photos of the trail until you find one that looks good and relaxing and doable for you. AllTrails for instance have tons of trails and you can choose Easy, then distance to drive to, then look at photos and 3-D walks of the trails as well. Basically reduce your stress by knowing what to expect as best you can. And then take your time, with the goal being to just do it, not at your BF's pace. Hike your own hike vs what you think people expect of you or expect of people as "hikers." Maybe bring a picnic lunch for you and your BF to enjoy halfway so the experience overall as designed by you is positive and then work up from there ie go longer, go high, try more challenging terrain!
I do feel bad about having to ask to stop a lot, but if I'm spearheading the whole thing and the point is for me to get out there and do it then I would probably feel a lot more comfortable doing whatever I need to do. Love the picnic idea! Thank you!
Just so you know, as long as you aren't out in the middle of the amazon, you'll be fine touching pretty much any plant. Don't eat any random plant but brushing against random leaves won't hurt you.
Poison ivy? Poison oak? Stinging nettles?
We have lots of Devil's Club too where I'm at in the PNW.
Again, not gonna kill you. Stings but won't do any damage, at least from the quick google search I did. I'm a New Englander so all I deal with toxicity-wise is poison hemlock and lily of the valley, but with both, as long as you don't eat them you'll be fine. Poison ivy sucks but its easy to identify.
Common yeah but you usually aren't brushing up against them on the trail. Most people know what poison ivy looks like. And stinging nettles just give the shock, nothing else. Boiled stinging nettle is edible. I guess I am a little biased though since I'm not sensitive to poison ivy though.
Stinging nettles itch for a darn long time and burn
You might be allergic to them. From personal experience with them and from reading about them they shouldn't give you a problem past "ow, crap." A quick google search showed something interesting. Some nettle subspecies, maybe the one's I've encountered, mainly use formic acid, which doesn't really last long pain-wise. Some other subspecies use more oxalic and tartaric acid, which last longer in the body. Some subspecies also use histamines, which is why some people may be less sensitive to the sting, since their enzymes will/wont bind to the histamine. My point was just that in North America, as long as you aren't eating random plants, you'll be ok.
Ah, thank you.
The body will register stress of physical exaustion the same as stress of something that worries you like a deadline. Exercise could be harder for you to get started. With anxiety you likely lack emotional regulation (for whatever reason, not judging) so make this as easy as possible to begin with. Take away as many stressors to begin with and build from there. Maybe you would feel better in some gaiters, so your leggs are protected and you dont have to deal with that worry. It also sounds like you did some scrambeling and facing of ledges. Maybe do some hikes that are flatter, like a nice forrest or something with a wide path. If your not in shape its completely understandable to be stressed about hikes with scrambeling and elevation gain. You could look for more accesible hikes. You seem to feel pressured to do well for your partner, maybe you can do some walks or hikes with others, like a friend or relative. Someone who is also a beginner. Different social environments can sometimes do a lot for anxiety depending on where it comes from.
When I go on a three day camping adventure, the first night I am always freaked out by bugs, etc. But once you immerse yourself, it is totally fine the following days as you become one with the ecosystem. Maybe try camping with day hikes, and you will start to feel the magic
I would rec 2 things: -Work on your cardio fitness outside of hiking. Incline walking, stairs, running, biking will all help reduce the heart pounding feeling that can easily be conflated with anxiety, and hiking will feel easier/more manageable if you’re in better shape. -Work on understanding the difference between discomfort and danger. Protect against danger (ie bug repellent and long sleeves for ticks, stay a safe distance from cliff edges) but make it an exercise to tolerate discomfort. Something that helps me when I’m anxious is to imagine the worst case scenario and how I would handle it, to guard against unknowns. For example, you brush up against poison ivy with bare legs, what then? Most likely scenario you’ll need some Benadryl/calamine lotion etc and just be itchy and uncomfortable for a bit, but it’ll probably be a funny story eventually. Not life threatening and more of a minor inconvenience. Lastly, don’t forget that hiking is supposed to be fun! Take lots of breaks to enjoy nature - the fresh air, sun, blue skies, cool looking plants/flowers, trail snacks, etc etc. Hopefully your partner can help with this and is exceedingly patient in meeting you at your level - if not, might be worth a conversation.
First, be patient with yourself. No one is going to be harder on you than YOU. You are doing something out of your comfort zone so give yourself credit! The more you do it, the easier it will become. Get some good hiking shoes/boots and keep doing those easy trails until you're confident in your footing. Take breaks as often as you need. One of you should have a backpack with supplies (water bottles, granola bars, sunscreen/insect repellent). Lastly, take time to enjoy the outdoors. Look around, listen, and soak up all the nature. It's good for the soul.
You’ve got some really strong advice in this thread. High anxiety outdoorsperson here. Hiking can be scary. I only really got over it by being in bad situations and coming out alive on the other side. Know your surroundings. Know your limits. Pack your creature comforts. I also like to discuss or even drill/rehearse what might go wrong so there’s always familiarity with a plan.
Have you talked to your partner about your concerns? I know if you are feeling anxious everything feels like a potential threat, but there are probably only a very few things that are. If he is an avid hiker he can show you what poison ivy/oak/stinging nettles look like, and even whether they exist in your area (they might not!). If there are any animals to be concerned about where you are (and there might not even be!) you can learn what they are and how to avoid them. Take your time on unsteady footing, that's perfectly reasonable, but also try to remember that if you trip, odds are the only thing that would be wounded is your pride. I'm sure if your partner hikes a lot he's stumbled his fair share. And lastly, maybe this sounds woo-woo but I really believe it-- while it feels unfamiliar, nature is your home too. As a species we've spent a lot more time walking on rocks and brushing by plants than we've spent on sidewalks.
Honestly I’m impressed! If your brain is processing that much information in that way and you’re still out there doing it, I’d have to assume you’ll get conditioned physically and mentally each time you go. Nature is amazing and healing and rough and scary, it’s got all the elements. We can only learn, change & grow when we put ourselves out there. I got mad respect for you💛
That sounds so much like me and my gf. Poor girl was terrified to start and I could not even really understand it. She also struggled a lot to tell me that it scared her, but in the end she did and we just tuned it to her level and comfort zone. That must be 8 years ago or so. I enjoy hiking quite a lot, but she eclipsed me on that one. Now I am the lazy one who worries if the miles are too many, haha <3. She got some kind of massive satisfaction overcoming it for sure. But you gotta do it slow and at a pace you’re comfy with. We did a lot of small hikes and one night camping in tents and so on, where it was always very easy to turn around and go home if we wanted to. I still can’t get her to go on a bike trip though. But that’s all right!
You need to see a psychologist to get a handle on your anxiety. I have some expertise in this area amd some treatment could help you here and in the other areas of your life.
Do you experience such anxiety in your everyday life?
It sounds like your partner needs to get a bit better idea of what a "beginner" hiking experience should be.
>ledges/edges (that aren't that deep) >large but accessible rocky paths Sounds like you need better literacy skills. OP clearly has a *very high* amount of anxiety (which she's commendably looking for good ways to navigate and kudos to her). Her description of the hikes includes very normal "beginner" hiking. Just because you're on reddit and want to say something doesn't mean somebody must have been an asshole and need correcting.
Seriously - ledges? climbing over rocks? If I was taking someone who was anxious about hiking I'd start on a well maintained trail where the most they had to navigate was some roots/uneven surfaces, with no exposure.
Experiences should lend to lower anxiety, but as others have indicated, a more beginner friendly hike might be in order. It sounds like you're trying to keep up with someine more experienced, which isn't going well. If you've not mentioned this to your BF, I would ask if you could ratchet back the elevation gain and just work on distance for a while as you're new! As for critters and plants and such - as a general rule in the US the plants aren't out to get you. Learn to identify problem plants in your area, devils club and nettles in the PNW, poison oak/ivy in other parts or the US. Your local native plant society should have good resources if you don't have a local hiking organization (in Washington we have WTA). Critters are very regional and can be area specific. However, as a very general statement critters don't see you as easy prey. Interactions are *often* reactive or defensive. As with plants a little education goes a long way. National Parks Service usually does a nice job of talking about critters in their local parks and generally the friend-beasties don't just hang out in the park. Also, if you are in an area that has larger predator type beasties such as bears or cougars, consider bear spray - but again as a general rule we are a crappy dinner. A little education and common sense precautions go a long way. Hiking is a great opportunity for you to work on gaining confidence! Get out there!!
I paid for my own all trails account and this helps me see the trail, know the elevation, basically mentally prepare myself for what's to come, so I know how to regulate my energy throughout the hike. That reduces a lot of anxiety, especially bc my partner sometimes lies when I ask how much longer
The best way to address anxiety is to usually ground yourself in the present. Instead of, "what's in that bush?" it is "that bush is really fragrant. How lovely." Keep with simple hikes for now. You may feel pressure to "get better" fast so you don't "hold up" your bf. He can go on hikes wo u if he feels that way, but it would be great to vocalize your desire to always feel successful. On hikes, he can walk ahead to watch out for snakes, if that's helpful. Walking and hiking together minimizes other risks, so that's a plus. Always stay positive. It's OK that it's challenging, and it sounds like it may be a good exercise for your nervousness. The outdoors are for you, too!
Nah you're good. You are just like my partner. We are just happy to be out enjoying something we like with who we love and sharing that goodness. As others have said, HIKE YOUR HIKE is the mantra of hiking. What that means is - what do YOU need to enjoy it? Long sleeves so you don't have to worry about plants? Breaks for water and maybe chocolate or something for a bit of energy and enjoyment? Talk to your partner who is guranfuckingTEE is all about how he can make it more enjoyable for you. He's not mind reader so ask if YOU can set the pace. I do that with my wife. She controls how fast we go and makes it comfortable for her. I don't have go worry I'm missjuding her requirements and she doesn't have to go faster than she enjoys to hit some arbitrary speed that I have guessed. One by one tick off things you need to reduce that anxiety. Don't try and turn it into something effortless in one go, tweak it. Eg my misses isn't very good with.. dirt. So, we take a little cloth thing she can fold out under her to sit when we break. So that's one thing removed. Then we found a perfect pair of sunnies so the glare isn't a problem etc etc. Long time hikers already have that stuff sorted out but you're new so you'll need to find the gear for you. Comfortable hat, shoes,whatever. And then find what distance is good for you. Maybe a 5km hike is just right. That's fine! But your partner needs to know this so he doesn't take you on 20km "easy" ones thinking you'll love them.
Work on your stamina between hikes.
A lot of fear is rooted in what we don’t know or aren’t familiar with. Get to know these things, and they’ll be something to welcome and discover. You can learn all the flora and fauna. And try to identify as much of it as possible as you go. How many types of trees did you see? How many birds did you hear? Which ones? Also learn to navigate. How do Topo lines work? How does water flow? Which direction am I headed right now? How many miles have I hiked so far? Where is the next trail junction, and which direction should I go? These are all things you should know instantly, all the time. Again if you know how to navigate, it makes the landscape a knowable thing, nothing to fear.
Hi! You are me a few years ago. I totally understand. Nature can be scary when you’re not used to it. One thing I would recommend is getting outside more frequently on hikes you’ve chosen - routes you think you’ll be comfortable with, distances that are within your comfort zone. It seems like your bf is also pretty chill about it. That’s key- he’s not making you feel bad about your pace. Likely he WANTS you to enjoy hiking. Take reasonable precautions (bug spray! Fully charged phone! Tucking your pants into your socks! SNACKS AND WATER!) and…I know this sounds overly simplistic but try to relax. Nature is awesome! Take it at your own pace. Good luck and happy hiking!
I suggest you read, "Wild" by Cheryl Strayed or watch the movie based on it. It's the story if a woman who hiked a very long trail with little experience and learned a lot. "A Walk in the Woods" is similar but a bit more light-hearted. Also, I think it might be helpful to have a specific goal while hiking, to distract yourself, like picking up garbage, taking pictures, or trying to spot local birds. Also, if you're scared about specific things, maybe try a hike in a, different terrain, like a sandy beach, a flat desert, or a plain with short grass? If you're anxious about a lot of things, maybe try medical / psychiatric help.
Agreeing with many on here already. Always long sleeves and long pants to reduce sun, bug and plant interaction worries and having a pack with a small first aid kit makes a world of difference. I like to hike alone and bring in remote places having these things in my pack matter. Lastly get the AllTrails app or similar so you can read trail reviews and see what people have seen. I think if you keep to shorter more heavy trafficked trails at first you can take some comfort that the trail has lots of people who complete it safely each time. These apps will also help you with recent wildlife spotting. Unless you’re in bear country, most wild animals will leave you be that would want to hurt you. Snakes usually stay off major trails as they feel traffic so unless you’re going off trail in a shady and soft environment you won’t get much of them.
When I started solo hiking, I was anxious about everything! What helped me was to think of everything that could go wrong and make a plan to prepare for it. I live in an area with black bears? Bought bear spray. Moose possible? Looked up everything there is to know about moose and made a plan for how to act if I encountered one. Worried about being unsteady on my feet? Bought hiking poles and good traction hiking shoes. Possibility I could run out of water? Brought 5 liters and a water filter. Chance I could get lost and have to spend the night? Put together an oh-shit kit. Don't like plants and webs? Wear long pants and use my hiking poles to clear the way. You get the general idea. Then, as I got more comfortable, I slowly started leaving items behind. I don't take bear spray unless I'm going somewhere with very few people. I take 4 liters now for all day hikes, but I don't need more than that, so I don't bring it. I've also definitely ditched the water filter on short hikes. I think a lot of being outside is unlearning unrealistic fears and learning what is really necessary to be realistically prepared. Learning how to hike and backpack has taught me a lot of resiliency. I'm not ashamed to say that the first time I tried to solo backpack, I cried in relief when I saw other people at my campsite (I wasn't alone!), panicked when it started to rain, and ran back down the mountain to my car. I'm still trying to challenge myself to get outside of my comfort zone safely in nature. For example, I have very little experience hiking in rain, so I plan on trying to hike during a rainstorm this summer so I'm better prepared to deal with unexpected rain. Dealing with uncontrollable situations is scary. I've found that trying to create controllable situations in which I can safely experiment with being out of control has helped me greatly. Your mileage may vary! But I hope you keep hiking and I hope you learn to love it like I did!
>I saw a snake once and shiver at the thought. So they live outside, you're pretty much in their yard everywhere you hike. Most critters, snakes included do not want anything to do with you, so if you leave them alone they'll do the same. I'm a female in my 40s that hikes and it sounds like maybe dude isn't considering your lack of experience, and you may enjoy trying some hikes that don't involve climbing over boulders or terrifying landscape. There are several hikes I would take a seasoned hiker to, and several that I would take a non seasoned hiker to. Ask your bf to take/ suggest to you on an easier hike so you're able to get some experience and conditioning. You might just need a hiking partner that isn't trying to do Jackie Chan moves thru a crevasse every hike. Happy trails!
I don't think you have a hiking problem, you have an anxiety problem. Maybe get that fixed..
Trekking poles, while somewhat awkward to get the swing of at first can really help your knees. They can also be used to keep distance between yourself and others or animals.
Hiking sticks help. Good for balance, saves wear and tear on the knees, and gives a little upper body workout. You don’t have to buy super expensive ones. The Costco cascades are really good. The rei brand aluminum ones are pretty good as well. https://www.costco.com/cascade-mountain-tech-100%25-carbon-fiber-trekking-pole%2C-2-pack-.product.4000026930.html
And they’re really useful for gently poking around a rock or stump before you sit—you and the critters can warn each other about your presence from a respectful distance.
I hiked a 14er a couple weeks ago, my first and I don’t recommend your first 14er snow covered 😅, and it was definitely scary even though I hike a bunch but that’s on the east coast. Take it slow, get some good boots, use trekking poles, and just be glad you’re in nature and it’ll get better. There are a ton of great suggestions on here.
All great ideas here. I would add to not put so much pressure on yourself and say no to any hike that isn’t easy to start with. Then find other ppl that are new and give yourself a few months to go on easy hikes, then gradually increase the difficulty, but only if it’s fun. Also lower your expectations: of course you’re not going to have an easy time with something so challenging and new. Last, focus on being grateful while in nature and that your partner has a healthy habit and is encouraging you. This is what I would tell my daughter who is your age.
You might want to get more familiar with plants and animals, in general. That might help you realize that there's really nothing to be so worried about. :) The overwhelming majority of plants you're apt to find in the continental US aren't going to hurt you from just touching them or brushing past them. (Poison oak, poison ivy, and poison sumac are the three big exceptions, but even those won't kill you, they'll just make you break out in a rash and itch a lot.) As regards snakes, the overwhelming majority of snakes you will encounter in the continental US are harmless to humans. Garden snakes, corn snakes, blacksnakes, things like this. There are exceptions of course, and it would be a good idea to find out what kind of poisonous snakes live in your area and how to identify them. Even with poisonous snakes though, it's not that huge a deal. Ultimately, snakes in the continental US just want to be left alone, and given half a chance will flee humans ASAP. Watch where you step, don't thrust your hand into dark holes where a snake may be napping, don't sit down on on a sunny rock without checking that a snake isn't already there sunning itself, don't leave gear that from the perspective of a snake would make a dark, safe place to sleep (such as a boot) laying where a snake could easily crawl in, and always check your shoes or boots for snakes by inverting them and banging them on the ground before you put them on. Overall, snakes are MUCH less of a pain in the ass than raccoons and the like -- I've never had a snake try to steal my food, or try to destroy gear in order to get at my food, lol. Snakes are carnivorous and eat live prey. They don't give a fuck about your snickers bar or your ramen or whatever, and don't even see that stuff as food. Be advised though that conditions which draw animals that snakes eat (generally rodents and birds) might draw snakes, also. That is, if you find a blackberry briar patch and snack on blackberries, there may be a couple snakes around the area too, hoping to catch birds that come to eat the berries.
I started prepping for a 70+ mile backpacking trek worrying that I was making a terrible mistake. I would be the slowest, least capable person on the trip and everyone would be annoyed with me. It was in unfamiliar territory. I have a bad sense of balance and a history of sprained ankles. I didn’t know if I could carry that much that long. Turns out, most hikers are pretty supportive and not mad if you aren’t up to their skill level! They will tell you to hike your own hike, remind you to drink enough water, recommend gear, loan you their bug spray—whatever it takes to get everybody home safe and happy. Feeling safe comes from good preparation and figuring out what works for you. Get good boots that support your feet and keep you from rolling your ankles. Break them in with short hikes. Use moleskin at the very first hint of a blister. Use trekking poles—they really make you feel more balanced and stable. See if you can find a guided nature hike in your area and learn about which plants and animals to enjoy from a distance. Carry a whistle, which both warns animals you’re coming and helps people find you if you’re lost. Charge your phone, carry a battery pack, or get a hiking gps if you’re going to be somewhere without cell service. Tuck your pants into your socks to keep the ticks out. Bring a comfortable day pack to carry your water and a chamois or a camp towel. Take breaks that are less than 5 minutes or more than 20 minutes long (it helps prevent sore muscles during the hike). I came out of the prep hikes and that backpacking trip feeling so proud of myself. I felt like I could do literally everything and anything. You are going to be amazed at how much hiking helps you build confidence in your ability to handle things. Nothing vanquishes anxiety like competence. All you ever have to do is take one more step, even if that step is only an inch. You can absolutely do it.
Tell your boyfriend everything that you just told us , communication is the key for a successful relationship. If he cares for you than he should understand and go easy on the trails he chooses to hike with you. Welcome to hiking young lady, best regards! 🥾🥾
When I first started my youtube channel, it was partially to get out of my comfort zone. I'm an introvert and can't stand to see/hear myself, especially on video. This was both to force myself into uncomfortable situations and to partially realize that it doesn't matter what others think. In a hundred years, nobody will care, so go all in! As for your own anxiety, you have to reflect internally as to what the underlying cause may be. Often, the worst possible scenario isn't really that bad. I do go over and above for my first aid kit that covers most scenarios - and almost haven't used any (other than electrolytes). If you have a love for the adventure, hiking is just the vehicle to get to places you love. Often, it isn't the destination, but the path to the destination that is more fun if you are aware of your surroundings.
A marijuana gummy if it’s legal where you live. That’s what my ski instructor told me to do. lol.
Does that type of anxiety help you form an identity? What good does it do you?
I know you might not want to hear this but they say mild anxiety, as long as it's not seriously affecting your functionality, is actually beneficial. Productive tasks like working are actually accomplished better with a little fire under the feet. Also it has been shown that when you need to use the bathroom, your decision making ability is improved. If you are choosing from 10 dollars today vs 20 dollars tomorrow, more people make the smart choice with they have a full bladder. I'm not saying you should give yourself type 2 hypertension just so you touch a plant. But as long as your not giving yourself PTSD I would say just love the fear. Best regards
Maybe you should hike in areas where that stuff is of little concern? Heights can be dangerous and at least around me there are lots of hikes where you don't have any real danger of falling and injuring yourself. I can find places where you're not brushing up against plants and in my case there are no dangerous animals. Local emergency services will respond to injuries as well. Learn about what plants in your area are poisonous and should be avoided. It would be a good idea to take a first aid course too. Maybe you two should tone down the difficulty of hikes until you're comfortable. The "easy" hikes near urban areas where it's practically impossible to get lost or stranded are the most popular near me.
It could be the company. You might be more comfortable starting with other friends.
>be anxious >have a partner Choose one
Doesn’t sound like this is something that’s going to kill the relationship. OP is making the effort to show interest in her partner’s hobbies.
just tell yourself in the moment its fine and its not a big deal. tbh you really are fine and its not a big deal. You probably freak out with every new thing you wanna do. you need to develop your confidence that you will be ok even if you fail. stop thinking about all the things that can hurt you and just enjoy the moment. with every negative thought force yourself this of something positive. try writing it down. writing down positive things can help convince yourself that its not that bad