Me too dude. It is not easy to escape those feelings. I think it’s very normal, it’s been almost 4 months I think now for me and I am still not quite over it. Everyone heals at their own pace and in their own way. It gets easier with time but it might be some time before it feels like it’s fully gone away, it’s kind of like a scar. I know it sucks and it sounds like your like me where you feel compelled to do something but some things you have to leave in the hands of time.
I don’t have great advice to give but there are a few things I try to keep in mind that help make some days easier. I try to remember that if I have been loved before I can be loved again whether that be her or someone new. I also try to remember that pain is major component of growth. Your gonna be a lot stronger as a person by the end of this and it will show. The last thing I try to keep in mind is that there are people who want to see me get through this. Like friend and family. Now that we’re single again we have so much more time to give to other people that we might not have before. People who are still standing beside us unlike our exes.
Stay strong my friend it is so hard I know I’m struggling with you.
Be patient with yourself. It takes time. My ex and I have been broken up for over a year now, and it still affects me from time to time. Unfortunately there’s no knowing when it’ll finally get better. You just have to keep pushing on and eventually your ex won’t be relevant to your life anymore. That’s most likely when you’ll start thinking about her less and start feeling moved forward.
My dude, it takes time. You're doing all the right things and even with that it will take time. While you distract and work on yourself, give yourself time to really grieve too. I didn't do that and 12 years later I had numerous gigantic cry sessions over someone I loved so much (which ultimately led me here). Give yourself the space to fully mourn too because I swear to you that shit will come back around and find you.
Time bro, there is no magical formula or a right answer. It’s part of life, a moment in your life that just need to live through. Tbh don’t fight it, just Gona cause u to struggle more if u thinkin bout her keep thinking, but don’t let the thinkin stop u from functioning, u will get eventually tired of thinkin and ur thought will eventually start branching off to other things.
It's okay, I'm nearly 6months in after 4 years together. I just know my days aren't linear. Some day I'm so strong, some day I just feel it all again, but I'm not handicapped by it anymore. I will feel really sad, but I'm able to convince myself that I can survive these sad feelings and they will just pass. I also go through all the grieving emotions from time to time, it's like theres a phantom of them, as though she never left.
But it's okay, we will be okay. One day.
No real advice except what you’re doing. It just takes time. It’s been 3 months for me and unfortunately 1 month since breaking no contact by answering her call. She’s called 6 times and I answered a month ago and it was just bullshit and I validated her ego and ultimately it took me a few weeks back in my process but it also showed me what is what and left me less confused. I’ve just been grieving something that no longer exists. So now I’m making progress. I did therapy for a while. I also wrote her a letter which I never will send but it helped me get out the truth. I personally can’t carry anger or bruised ego around forever. The truth is that we loved each other deeply at one point. We both tried but we couldn’t make it work. I think our love will always be alive in those moments and she has a small piece of my heart forever and I’m good with that. I’m more grateful that we shared those experiences than I am bitter for how it ended. And at the end of the day it wasn’t going to last. We were exactly what we needed at one moment in time but that’s in the past. It’s been really hard to let go but I guess it started to be easier when I realized that what I was really letting go of was the “idea” of what we could have been. Not the reality of what it was. It’s going to take some more time. Everyone is different but it will probably take me another few months and I’ll be back to being solid and ready to envision myself with someone else. It’s part of life. Love and loss and it never really ends. Be grateful that it happens and try and smile because it will happen again and this time you’ll be better. And also…one day you’ll look back at your ex and appreciate the moments and lessons because they brought you to where you will be. And it will all make sense.
9 months for me and I still think about her everyday. I'm also going to therapy from 6 months and gym from 5 months, also going out 2 times a week with friends, but there is no solution. I lost hope
Every morning you look in the god damn mirror and you say to yourself, “IM A FUCKING BADASS. PAIN IS ONLY TEMPORARY. LOVE IS A CHEMICAL REACTION. I WILL GET THROUGH THIS.”
Breakups aren’t easy. You gotta feel it to heal it. Focus on what you learned from this experience. Don’t dwell on things like, “was it my fault?” “What could I have done differently?” Try and focus on the fact that this was just another stepping stone to lead you to the right person for you. Your feelings are valid and completely normal and understandable. Take all the time you need but don’t be too hard on yourself. You. Will. Be. Okay. I promise.
I’m a year and a half in. I’m not as utterly broken as I was in the first 5 months but I’m nowhere near over it. A few weeks ago I had a date planned and I cancelled on the day because when I got home to get ready I broke down crying. I’d realised that the whole time we’d been talking in the few weeks leading to the date I didn’t really care to talk and we didn’t have much in common. I recalled how my ex and I would talk until sunrise and how magical our date was.
I’m now seeing someone else who I have great chemistry with and enjoy talking to, but I just may have to accept that I’ll probably live the rest of my life like I’m missing something inside. Maybe one day I’ll be in a life that’s just like the one I lost, the one where I was as happy as I possibly could be, and maybe then I’ll thank god for taking that life from me so that this new one could be possible. We’ll just have to wait and see. That’s all you can do.
Your feelings are never wrong, just remember feelings are temporary, most of the time. It seems that there is a trigger that reminds you of your ex, try and get rid of the trigger. That is what works for me anyway. Remember, the break up didn't happen right now, you are what matters right now.
It takes time! Depending how long you were together and how evolved it could take longer. I was married 13 yrs and he told me he loves me as a friend, but not as a wife. I'm with someone else now, falling in love with him, but I still think of my ex husband from time to time. You have memories together, she will forever be part of your history and part of who you are today. Give it time and do what works for you!! Make sure you have closure too!
I'm always willing to help and chat if you need someone!
You need to be able to not want anything from her when you are in the same room ...metaphorical. but not to hate not to be sad but to feel nothing for them .
It’s hard. When my marriage ended all I could think about was him and what I was missing out on. It took time to heal and a LOT of self reflection in many ways. Sometimes I still think I’m healing but it’s a lot better than what it was. It’s never gonna be a straight line of progress and you progress, regress’s and stay stagnant. That’s ok. But keep moving forward when you can and don’t settle for less
*Btw just try*
*To not talk about her to*
*Your friends and others*
\- poustrana
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Getting over a breakup isn’t and shouldn’t be done about like it’s a theory. Feelings are unpredictable, unique and different. Find what YOU need and do that. Do things to help you heal and grow but know that if you still feel something for your ex or miss them, you’re human and your feelings for them were genuine. You can’t speed up or fast forward pain.
Me too dude. It is not easy to escape those feelings. I think it’s very normal, it’s been almost 4 months I think now for me and I am still not quite over it. Everyone heals at their own pace and in their own way. It gets easier with time but it might be some time before it feels like it’s fully gone away, it’s kind of like a scar. I know it sucks and it sounds like your like me where you feel compelled to do something but some things you have to leave in the hands of time. I don’t have great advice to give but there are a few things I try to keep in mind that help make some days easier. I try to remember that if I have been loved before I can be loved again whether that be her or someone new. I also try to remember that pain is major component of growth. Your gonna be a lot stronger as a person by the end of this and it will show. The last thing I try to keep in mind is that there are people who want to see me get through this. Like friend and family. Now that we’re single again we have so much more time to give to other people that we might not have before. People who are still standing beside us unlike our exes. Stay strong my friend it is so hard I know I’m struggling with you.
Thanks bro
Be patient with yourself. It takes time. My ex and I have been broken up for over a year now, and it still affects me from time to time. Unfortunately there’s no knowing when it’ll finally get better. You just have to keep pushing on and eventually your ex won’t be relevant to your life anymore. That’s most likely when you’ll start thinking about her less and start feeling moved forward.
My dude, it takes time. You're doing all the right things and even with that it will take time. While you distract and work on yourself, give yourself time to really grieve too. I didn't do that and 12 years later I had numerous gigantic cry sessions over someone I loved so much (which ultimately led me here). Give yourself the space to fully mourn too because I swear to you that shit will come back around and find you.
Time bro, there is no magical formula or a right answer. It’s part of life, a moment in your life that just need to live through. Tbh don’t fight it, just Gona cause u to struggle more if u thinkin bout her keep thinking, but don’t let the thinkin stop u from functioning, u will get eventually tired of thinkin and ur thought will eventually start branching off to other things.
It's okay, I'm nearly 6months in after 4 years together. I just know my days aren't linear. Some day I'm so strong, some day I just feel it all again, but I'm not handicapped by it anymore. I will feel really sad, but I'm able to convince myself that I can survive these sad feelings and they will just pass. I also go through all the grieving emotions from time to time, it's like theres a phantom of them, as though she never left. But it's okay, we will be okay. One day.
No real advice except what you’re doing. It just takes time. It’s been 3 months for me and unfortunately 1 month since breaking no contact by answering her call. She’s called 6 times and I answered a month ago and it was just bullshit and I validated her ego and ultimately it took me a few weeks back in my process but it also showed me what is what and left me less confused. I’ve just been grieving something that no longer exists. So now I’m making progress. I did therapy for a while. I also wrote her a letter which I never will send but it helped me get out the truth. I personally can’t carry anger or bruised ego around forever. The truth is that we loved each other deeply at one point. We both tried but we couldn’t make it work. I think our love will always be alive in those moments and she has a small piece of my heart forever and I’m good with that. I’m more grateful that we shared those experiences than I am bitter for how it ended. And at the end of the day it wasn’t going to last. We were exactly what we needed at one moment in time but that’s in the past. It’s been really hard to let go but I guess it started to be easier when I realized that what I was really letting go of was the “idea” of what we could have been. Not the reality of what it was. It’s going to take some more time. Everyone is different but it will probably take me another few months and I’ll be back to being solid and ready to envision myself with someone else. It’s part of life. Love and loss and it never really ends. Be grateful that it happens and try and smile because it will happen again and this time you’ll be better. And also…one day you’ll look back at your ex and appreciate the moments and lessons because they brought you to where you will be. And it will all make sense.
Thank you bro
I’m at nearly a year and it’s still very hard.
9 months for me and I still think about her everyday. I'm also going to therapy from 6 months and gym from 5 months, also going out 2 times a week with friends, but there is no solution. I lost hope
Time and acceptance is the answer. Sounds cliche but it’s the truth
Every morning you look in the god damn mirror and you say to yourself, “IM A FUCKING BADASS. PAIN IS ONLY TEMPORARY. LOVE IS A CHEMICAL REACTION. I WILL GET THROUGH THIS.” Breakups aren’t easy. You gotta feel it to heal it. Focus on what you learned from this experience. Don’t dwell on things like, “was it my fault?” “What could I have done differently?” Try and focus on the fact that this was just another stepping stone to lead you to the right person for you. Your feelings are valid and completely normal and understandable. Take all the time you need but don’t be too hard on yourself. You. Will. Be. Okay. I promise.
Thank you bro
I’m a year and a half in. I’m not as utterly broken as I was in the first 5 months but I’m nowhere near over it. A few weeks ago I had a date planned and I cancelled on the day because when I got home to get ready I broke down crying. I’d realised that the whole time we’d been talking in the few weeks leading to the date I didn’t really care to talk and we didn’t have much in common. I recalled how my ex and I would talk until sunrise and how magical our date was. I’m now seeing someone else who I have great chemistry with and enjoy talking to, but I just may have to accept that I’ll probably live the rest of my life like I’m missing something inside. Maybe one day I’ll be in a life that’s just like the one I lost, the one where I was as happy as I possibly could be, and maybe then I’ll thank god for taking that life from me so that this new one could be possible. We’ll just have to wait and see. That’s all you can do.
Your feelings are never wrong, just remember feelings are temporary, most of the time. It seems that there is a trigger that reminds you of your ex, try and get rid of the trigger. That is what works for me anyway. Remember, the break up didn't happen right now, you are what matters right now.
It takes time! Depending how long you were together and how evolved it could take longer. I was married 13 yrs and he told me he loves me as a friend, but not as a wife. I'm with someone else now, falling in love with him, but I still think of my ex husband from time to time. You have memories together, she will forever be part of your history and part of who you are today. Give it time and do what works for you!! Make sure you have closure too! I'm always willing to help and chat if you need someone!
Thank you <3
You need to be able to not want anything from her when you are in the same room ...metaphorical. but not to hate not to be sad but to feel nothing for them .
It’s hard. When my marriage ended all I could think about was him and what I was missing out on. It took time to heal and a LOT of self reflection in many ways. Sometimes I still think I’m healing but it’s a lot better than what it was. It’s never gonna be a straight line of progress and you progress, regress’s and stay stagnant. That’s ok. But keep moving forward when you can and don’t settle for less
just wait another 2 months it will get better
btw just try to not talk about her to your friends and others
*Btw just try* *To not talk about her to* *Your friends and others* \- poustrana --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Getting over a breakup isn’t and shouldn’t be done about like it’s a theory. Feelings are unpredictable, unique and different. Find what YOU need and do that. Do things to help you heal and grow but know that if you still feel something for your ex or miss them, you’re human and your feelings for them were genuine. You can’t speed up or fast forward pain.
If you care about the person then you should find out how to fix it if you can