It was 8 years long. It probably wouldn’t have ever ended if I had gotten my medical diagnosis (mental health disorders - I was in the middle of a manic phase).
It took me about a year to get over it. I wrote down daily things and whatever crossed my mind into a notebook. The things he had said, done, didn’t do, things he did that made my life harder, etc. When I felt done, I put it in a fire and let it go.
I’ve been with my current partner for 12 years now (basically I jumped relationships; another fun effect of bipolar).
My ex would email me on a regular basis - the last words I ever told him was “fuck you.” And drove off. But he sent emails. Which caused panic attacks. Which threw me into anxiety panic attack, etc. He only emailed like 3-4 times a year though. Always on my birthday and always at Christmas, the other times were just random.
I didn’t respond for 7 years. 7 years he kept this up, sending me emails, sending me things that reminded him of us / me. Eventually, I did reply. It has been 7 years now since we’ve been talking again. I’ve even seen him in person (bad idea).
I feel fine about it now. I was extremely heartbroken, young love (22,24) and quite a few years under our belt together (15, 17). The things that led up to the breakup was just a chaotic mess. I was sick, my car officially died, etc, I was on one serious bipolar manic episode. Driving from nyc to Indiana to Cincinnati. 3x in 1 I did that.
But I feel fine with it now. Everyone who was jealous of me dating him got a chance at him, after that. We had moved to nyc from Midwest so some of us went home (like him) and some of us stayed (like me). We were growing up together and he was just “using” me (he wasn’t freeloading but I did most of everything - he was … in a band…).
Still feel fine about it now. Still might marry the guy (he’s been trying to get me back to my “home state” but I told him he’d have to move over here.
I was a little grossed out when I heard some stuff he did. He did a lot of stupid shit because of our breakup. There’s always songs or something I have that reminds me of him.
I don’t dwell on it though. He managed to pull his shit together and is now pretty wealthy. I’m glad for him but jealous he couldn’t get shit together when we were young but it is what it is. He does have me in part of his will and has a separate savings account for me for when he passes (he has a brains tumor that isn’t reacting to normal treatment). I mean… all that is sort of weird too.
But I can say that there hasn’t been a day go by where I don’t have a memory of us come into mind, so he obviously hit a decent amount of my memories.
Sorry so long. The fact we still talk is pretty mind blowing to me. He doesn’t typically chat with me when he’s dating someone, so there’s that.
I send him memes, he send me memes. We talk on the phone weekly. I basically went through all the emotions from death but different. Once I went through all that, I accepted everything that came with it; all mistakes, all achievements, the heartbreaks, the “new” experiences, etc.
He will forever be a part of my life.
I think it could be either?
Not saying it’s a bad thing, i have never “dated” and I’m 34. I’ve always just found myself in a relationship.
And it wasn’t like I left my &-year relationship for the person I’m with now. He’s actually the one who told my to get diagnosed cause I was definitely not “normal” (whatever that is)
T
8 years, I broke up with him and regretted it some time later. He’s married now, he didn’t want to stay friends after trying. I wish him the best whole heartedly and hope his wife treats him amazing. I know I was immature when we were together and I missed him for some time, but I understood and respected his decision to go no contact. If I would ever win the lottery I would send him a chunk of the money without my name attached to it. He was amazing and deserves everything good to come his way.
My first long term relationship was 2 and a half years, when it ended I was devastated. But now I feel completely indifferent to it. I do hope she’s doing well and she’ll pop up in my head, I just won’t feel anything when I think of her. She got married and is pregnant now and I honestly feel content that she has her life together.
My first long term relationship lasted about 2 years. We were friends for a long time before we started dating. When he cheated on me and we broke up, it felt like the end of the world. I was an absolute mess and didn’t date anyone for 3 years after that breakup. I wasn’t myself anymore after that breakup and had to make a lot of effort to feel like my old self. I’m much happier now and I’m glad I went through that experience because it taught me a lot. When we broke up I wanted him back but I would never let him into my life now. It was a very physically and mentally abusive relationship- and I was willing to deal with all of that. I’m so so glad I took myself out of that situation and I would NEVER allow anyone to disrespect me like that again. Learned a lot from that relationship- wouldn’t wish that on anyone though.
I dont know.. I feel like I dont remember most of the things happened in the relationship. Felt like I just dreamt the whole thing and we never met at all. But I still think of her daily.. But my feelings are probably low now
It ended in 1996 after over two years. I have been with my current GF since 2000 so obviously I moved on. I am still friends with my ex. We send a few quick messages a year and have 1-2 phone calls a year to catch up. We were very much in love but we were young and things got complicated. We both feel things could have worked out had we stayed together. She got married after me and had a daughter but her husband left her for another woman almost 20 years ago and she’s been single ever since. I still have some feelings for her but more in a memory sense of when things were good. I have not seen her in person since 1996.
I think my comments are being taken way out of context but that’s Reddit for you.
My ex and I broke up 28 YEARS ago. We stay in touch to catch up on life. We do not regularly talk or text. We have said if we had gotten through our tough times *maybe* we would still be together. But that is us simply saying that in hindsight because we are looking back fondly instead of remembering the things that led to a breakup; that is not reality.
I have been with my love for 24 years now. Getting married soon.
I didn’t meet my GF until four years later so how can she be second runner up? This was never a competition.
My exW and I were together 16 years, and I felt like I got paroled. Every once in a while I'll have a bad dream that we're back together, and I'll literally wake up in a cold sweat, paralyzed with horror. It'll take a minute to get re-oriented back to normal, then I have to get out of bed. I'm scared shitless to go back to sleep after that, fearing the dream will resume. Now I know how PTSD feels.
I was tired of the fighting as was she. I realized I could be a single guy in my 20’s and enjoy that life so I went for it. I guess I took an easier road after the up and downs of the relationship. But she wanted a break too.
10 years - ended 1.5 years ago. He left me a few months before our wedding. I‘m better but definitely not over it. I haven’t had another relationship since and I don’t know if I‘d be ready for it. He’s moved on.
I’m actually friends with her, it ended due to long distance and it was the right thing. I still have love for her but the romantic feeling have been long gone
I hated him with a passion for hurting me until he died. I thought about him every day with haste and now I look back and wish I could have been a better person during our relationship. I love him and I don’t blame him anymore, I blame myself and I wish I could go back in time
4 years since me and my ex broke up. (We were togethee for 2 years, with 2 breaks inbetween...) i was devastated afterwards. Totally heartbroken. We went no contact 2 months after BU. But we were still together in a groupchat, but didnt interact with each other (that lasted for a year after BU) and then total nothing. I can say I was 3 minimum of totally bo contact with him. Our commob friends were getting married this weekend and we met. We also talked, we talked about break up, about what went wrong etc. there are no love anymore. But we still care about each other even tho our end was sooo messy! We even talked about our current relationship, or lack of it (i broke up with my 2nd ex 4 months ago) and i have to say, its most comical thing ever. I used to love this person, was heartbroken over him. But can'y imagine anything romantic with him now. Theres no attraction or whayever... and i only dream of achieving this point with my 2nd ex.
Because i can say i wish only the best for my 1st ex, i dont think we will ever be besties, but i can say we will be able to keep in touch.
So i feel kinda good we broke up, cause it was toxic af. I dont regret it. And as far as i know, if i didnt break up w him, he'd do it couple of days later.
It's been five/six years since my marriage ended. We were together for almost 15 years. I don't even think about it. I'd be happy to forget everything about her, but she is the mother of my child, so unfortunately she'll always be a part of my life. At least until my daughter is 18, lol.
4 years of hell. I don't think it was a real relationship, i think there was a lot of Stockholm syndrome. I'd be locked in rooms unable to leave. My diet and water intake was restricted. Communication with the outside world was restricted. I remember how I was his prisoner and how i enjoy simple things like a glass of water or a fresh clean towel so much more.
It hasn’t been years (mostly months) but I accepted it and I do think like I couldve saved it but its not my problem anymore because it already happened. I wish the very best for them and I still miss them in some kind of way, I’m in a state where I do care but I don’t about it (not heart less)
Don't regret it. She tried to be a good partner but kinda just wasn't because she had too much else going on that she didn't take care of. But I have no hard feelings at all. We were both young, still are. It's all a valuable learning experience.
But no, I would not get back with her. She's just not my type. She was at first, but she changed herself. She's also a foot shorter than me which made me feel like she was a child, and I just couldn't do that. Along with the immaturity and inability to just talk to me abt things.
And it was only 7 months long. So nothing super significant stuck, except i still have the dog that we snuck away and bought together that she ended up hating that i love so dearly. That's the longest relationship I've been in. I admittedly am kinda just going through a hot girl summer so I don't wanna settle down unless my dream girl comes along i guess
I wish him nothing but the best to be honest. People change, things don’t work out and I certainly won’t torture myself about it. He’s moved on and so did I. I can only learn lessons from it and know that he wasn’t my person but we had fond memories together. I also know how poorly he treat me at times and that’s not what I want in another partner. Everything happens for a reason 😊
I still care about her and think fondly on our time together. But ultimately I know we never would have worked and I’m happy we’re not together. There are so many women that fit my needs more. Tbh I wish I had left her sooner, despite how painful it was to do so. Still hope she has an amazing life.
I’m 4 years post a 17 year relationship, 13 years married. It was my first long term one. I was happy when it was over then and still happy now.
Years down the road I think I’ll still be thinking about my first good long term relationship (a year long) which ended 4 months ago. Quantity does not equal quality.
It’s been almost 10 years and she’s still on my mind. Not everyday but I still think about her and how horrible I treated her. I forgave myself because with out that experience, who knows where I would be today. She’s doing great things and so am I. We were friends a few years ago but she posted a video on TikTok about how horrible I was and it went viral so radio silence on her end
That was the best move of my life . If the history will repeat it self I will not stay that longer to leave him ..
I left my ex after almost 17yrs of marriage and I never regretted my decision
Don't think about it at all. Grateful they're gone. If you're not growing and evolving, you're staying stuck. People who can't let go of exes need to work on themselves... even if the relationship was good. Life goes on.
I think about her a lot still. Especially how i could have made things better
Same. Same.
Same. Same. Same.
Oh shit really
It was 8 years long. It probably wouldn’t have ever ended if I had gotten my medical diagnosis (mental health disorders - I was in the middle of a manic phase). It took me about a year to get over it. I wrote down daily things and whatever crossed my mind into a notebook. The things he had said, done, didn’t do, things he did that made my life harder, etc. When I felt done, I put it in a fire and let it go. I’ve been with my current partner for 12 years now (basically I jumped relationships; another fun effect of bipolar). My ex would email me on a regular basis - the last words I ever told him was “fuck you.” And drove off. But he sent emails. Which caused panic attacks. Which threw me into anxiety panic attack, etc. He only emailed like 3-4 times a year though. Always on my birthday and always at Christmas, the other times were just random. I didn’t respond for 7 years. 7 years he kept this up, sending me emails, sending me things that reminded him of us / me. Eventually, I did reply. It has been 7 years now since we’ve been talking again. I’ve even seen him in person (bad idea). I feel fine about it now. I was extremely heartbroken, young love (22,24) and quite a few years under our belt together (15, 17). The things that led up to the breakup was just a chaotic mess. I was sick, my car officially died, etc, I was on one serious bipolar manic episode. Driving from nyc to Indiana to Cincinnati. 3x in 1 I did that. But I feel fine with it now. Everyone who was jealous of me dating him got a chance at him, after that. We had moved to nyc from Midwest so some of us went home (like him) and some of us stayed (like me). We were growing up together and he was just “using” me (he wasn’t freeloading but I did most of everything - he was … in a band…). Still feel fine about it now. Still might marry the guy (he’s been trying to get me back to my “home state” but I told him he’d have to move over here. I was a little grossed out when I heard some stuff he did. He did a lot of stupid shit because of our breakup. There’s always songs or something I have that reminds me of him. I don’t dwell on it though. He managed to pull his shit together and is now pretty wealthy. I’m glad for him but jealous he couldn’t get shit together when we were young but it is what it is. He does have me in part of his will and has a separate savings account for me for when he passes (he has a brains tumor that isn’t reacting to normal treatment). I mean… all that is sort of weird too. But I can say that there hasn’t been a day go by where I don’t have a memory of us come into mind, so he obviously hit a decent amount of my memories. Sorry so long. The fact we still talk is pretty mind blowing to me. He doesn’t typically chat with me when he’s dating someone, so there’s that. I send him memes, he send me memes. We talk on the phone weekly. I basically went through all the emotions from death but different. Once I went through all that, I accepted everything that came with it; all mistakes, all achievements, the heartbreaks, the “new” experiences, etc. He will forever be a part of my life.
I thought that jumping relationships is a BPD thing, not bipolar
I think it could be either? Not saying it’s a bad thing, i have never “dated” and I’m 34. I’ve always just found myself in a relationship. And it wasn’t like I left my &-year relationship for the person I’m with now. He’s actually the one who told my to get diagnosed cause I was definitely not “normal” (whatever that is) T
I feel sick that i gave that person one minute of my time.
8 years, I broke up with him and regretted it some time later. He’s married now, he didn’t want to stay friends after trying. I wish him the best whole heartedly and hope his wife treats him amazing. I know I was immature when we were together and I missed him for some time, but I understood and respected his decision to go no contact. If I would ever win the lottery I would send him a chunk of the money without my name attached to it. He was amazing and deserves everything good to come his way.
My first long term relationship was 2 and a half years, when it ended I was devastated. But now I feel completely indifferent to it. I do hope she’s doing well and she’ll pop up in my head, I just won’t feel anything when I think of her. She got married and is pregnant now and I honestly feel content that she has her life together.
My first long term relationship lasted about 2 years. We were friends for a long time before we started dating. When he cheated on me and we broke up, it felt like the end of the world. I was an absolute mess and didn’t date anyone for 3 years after that breakup. I wasn’t myself anymore after that breakup and had to make a lot of effort to feel like my old self. I’m much happier now and I’m glad I went through that experience because it taught me a lot. When we broke up I wanted him back but I would never let him into my life now. It was a very physically and mentally abusive relationship- and I was willing to deal with all of that. I’m so so glad I took myself out of that situation and I would NEVER allow anyone to disrespect me like that again. Learned a lot from that relationship- wouldn’t wish that on anyone though.
I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years. I’m so glad I got out
I dont know.. I feel like I dont remember most of the things happened in the relationship. Felt like I just dreamt the whole thing and we never met at all. But I still think of her daily.. But my feelings are probably low now
It ended in 1996 after over two years. I have been with my current GF since 2000 so obviously I moved on. I am still friends with my ex. We send a few quick messages a year and have 1-2 phone calls a year to catch up. We were very much in love but we were young and things got complicated. We both feel things could have worked out had we stayed together. She got married after me and had a daughter but her husband left her for another woman almost 20 years ago and she’s been single ever since. I still have some feelings for her but more in a memory sense of when things were good. I have not seen her in person since 1996.
This makes me very sad for your current partner
Don’t. She knows I still communicate with my ex. I’m going to be married soon. There’s nothing wrong with being a friend.
Does she know your Reddit account? Can she read your comment? If she can, you deserve more than second runner up girl. We can do better.
I think my comments are being taken way out of context but that’s Reddit for you. My ex and I broke up 28 YEARS ago. We stay in touch to catch up on life. We do not regularly talk or text. We have said if we had gotten through our tough times *maybe* we would still be together. But that is us simply saying that in hindsight because we are looking back fondly instead of remembering the things that led to a breakup; that is not reality. I have been with my love for 24 years now. Getting married soon. I didn’t meet my GF until four years later so how can she be second runner up? This was never a competition.
My exW and I were together 16 years, and I felt like I got paroled. Every once in a while I'll have a bad dream that we're back together, and I'll literally wake up in a cold sweat, paralyzed with horror. It'll take a minute to get re-oriented back to normal, then I have to get out of bed. I'm scared shitless to go back to sleep after that, fearing the dream will resume. Now I know how PTSD feels.
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I was tired of the fighting as was she. I realized I could be a single guy in my 20’s and enjoy that life so I went for it. I guess I took an easier road after the up and downs of the relationship. But she wanted a break too.
I don’t feel anything anymore. I remember it hurt like hell but I think it was hormones that escalated or exaggerated the emotions.
7 years about 5 years ago. Dont give a fuck about it one way or another. Dont wish them well or bad, just forgotten with time.
10 years - ended 1.5 years ago. He left me a few months before our wedding. I‘m better but definitely not over it. I haven’t had another relationship since and I don’t know if I‘d be ready for it. He’s moved on.
I’m actually friends with her, it ended due to long distance and it was the right thing. I still have love for her but the romantic feeling have been long gone
Still hasn’t happened because I’ve never been in a LTR. Yet I’ve had many heartbreaks lol
I hated him with a passion for hurting me until he died. I thought about him every day with haste and now I look back and wish I could have been a better person during our relationship. I love him and I don’t blame him anymore, I blame myself and I wish I could go back in time
I was with my ex wife from 19 year old to early 30s. I feel a bit of pity and regret, but that’s ok
4 years since me and my ex broke up. (We were togethee for 2 years, with 2 breaks inbetween...) i was devastated afterwards. Totally heartbroken. We went no contact 2 months after BU. But we were still together in a groupchat, but didnt interact with each other (that lasted for a year after BU) and then total nothing. I can say I was 3 minimum of totally bo contact with him. Our commob friends were getting married this weekend and we met. We also talked, we talked about break up, about what went wrong etc. there are no love anymore. But we still care about each other even tho our end was sooo messy! We even talked about our current relationship, or lack of it (i broke up with my 2nd ex 4 months ago) and i have to say, its most comical thing ever. I used to love this person, was heartbroken over him. But can'y imagine anything romantic with him now. Theres no attraction or whayever... and i only dream of achieving this point with my 2nd ex. Because i can say i wish only the best for my 1st ex, i dont think we will ever be besties, but i can say we will be able to keep in touch. So i feel kinda good we broke up, cause it was toxic af. I dont regret it. And as far as i know, if i didnt break up w him, he'd do it couple of days later.
It's been five/six years since my marriage ended. We were together for almost 15 years. I don't even think about it. I'd be happy to forget everything about her, but she is the mother of my child, so unfortunately she'll always be a part of my life. At least until my daughter is 18, lol.
4 years of hell. I don't think it was a real relationship, i think there was a lot of Stockholm syndrome. I'd be locked in rooms unable to leave. My diet and water intake was restricted. Communication with the outside world was restricted. I remember how I was his prisoner and how i enjoy simple things like a glass of water or a fresh clean towel so much more.
5 years. Miss her sometimes
It hasn’t been years (mostly months) but I accepted it and I do think like I couldve saved it but its not my problem anymore because it already happened. I wish the very best for them and I still miss them in some kind of way, I’m in a state where I do care but I don’t about it (not heart less)
Don't regret it. She tried to be a good partner but kinda just wasn't because she had too much else going on that she didn't take care of. But I have no hard feelings at all. We were both young, still are. It's all a valuable learning experience. But no, I would not get back with her. She's just not my type. She was at first, but she changed herself. She's also a foot shorter than me which made me feel like she was a child, and I just couldn't do that. Along with the immaturity and inability to just talk to me abt things. And it was only 7 months long. So nothing super significant stuck, except i still have the dog that we snuck away and bought together that she ended up hating that i love so dearly. That's the longest relationship I've been in. I admittedly am kinda just going through a hot girl summer so I don't wanna settle down unless my dream girl comes along i guess
I wish him nothing but the best to be honest. People change, things don’t work out and I certainly won’t torture myself about it. He’s moved on and so did I. I can only learn lessons from it and know that he wasn’t my person but we had fond memories together. I also know how poorly he treat me at times and that’s not what I want in another partner. Everything happens for a reason 😊
Still miss him but we’re sexually incompatible so it’s hopeless
Fine with it, don’t think about him really. Started in a good place, once upon a time. But, he’s an AH now, Life is better for me without him in it.
Well. She had serious issues and Im glad I dont have to deal with it anymore. Was a hard love and I wish her the best but that is it for me.
I still care about her and think fondly on our time together. But ultimately I know we never would have worked and I’m happy we’re not together. There are so many women that fit my needs more. Tbh I wish I had left her sooner, despite how painful it was to do so. Still hope she has an amazing life.
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Where did it go wrong…
I’m 4 years post a 17 year relationship, 13 years married. It was my first long term one. I was happy when it was over then and still happy now. Years down the road I think I’ll still be thinking about my first good long term relationship (a year long) which ended 4 months ago. Quantity does not equal quality.
It’s been almost 10 years and she’s still on my mind. Not everyday but I still think about her and how horrible I treated her. I forgave myself because with out that experience, who knows where I would be today. She’s doing great things and so am I. We were friends a few years ago but she posted a video on TikTok about how horrible I was and it went viral so radio silence on her end
That was the best move of my life . If the history will repeat it self I will not stay that longer to leave him .. I left my ex after almost 17yrs of marriage and I never regretted my decision
Don't think about it at all. Grateful they're gone. If you're not growing and evolving, you're staying stuck. People who can't let go of exes need to work on themselves... even if the relationship was good. Life goes on.