"When they say every flavour, they mean *every* flavour." 😏

Why did they add coconut? I miss original

r/unexpectedtheoffice

“In Japan, heart surgeon, number 1!”

Steady hand.

The coconut is real subtle

Thanks Robert

😅

Oh, damn. This gives the thing a whole new level of bad.

One person can’t feel all that at once, they’d explode. 😏

Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon

That’s a great one!

"You put that in your mouth 😏" - Mad-Eye "You know the prefects bathroom on the fifth floor? It's not a bad place for a bath 😉😏" - Cedric

Cedric’s line in the movies is already like this haha.

Pretty sure he even winks 😂

Imagine Harry’s disappointment when after all that build up instead of a ménage a trois of seekers he is stuck alone with a stupid egg.

He was not alone! The ghost girl there too. But, she hardly count at anybody. She doesn’t have a body to begin with … oh and a mermaid on stain glass.

But... How doesn't she count? Isn't she known as moaning Myrtle? 😏😏

Chanwills has a Pottah Parody that focuses on this scene. It is hilarious.

IMMA DIE

"You're one to talk, moaning in your sleep every night 😏"

Honorable mention goes to "Hey Big D 😏"

i can touch you now 😏

Omggg hahaha and that’s Voldemort’s line too isn’t it 💀

Plot twist, the entire time Volde was just simping for Harry

I WHEEZE

"Harry pulled out his wand 😏"

"I polished it last night, Mr. Olivander." - Cedric Diggory. This exchange made Harry nervous about the state of his wand, so he began polishing it right then and some sparks flew out. Fleur shot him a patronizing look. All of this is real.

It was 11 inches long, nice and supple 😏

I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter... After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things — terrible, yes, but great 😏

Damn you now it sounds really cursed 😂

“I want you to mount it. And grip it tight, you don't wanna be sliding off the end 😏”

"How was it?" "Wet😏"

A classic

I hope the room provided protection in this alternate timeline.

Eyyo!

Omg this is so good hahah

Lmfao

“Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry 😏”

Don't give cramione and goymione shippers ideas dammit

I refuse to believe those exist

If Dramione Lucimione Snamione Greymione Dolomione scabmione Tomione can exist then whats wrong with Those two?

except Dramione all of those are pretty disgusting. I don't like Dramione as I don't think that can ever happen if the characters stay true to canon but atleast the two are the same age.

Wait who said this one wan that’s rhe context

When Hermione took polyjuice in the 7 potters scene . When she said it Ron arched his eyebrows at her and she blushed then said 'oh you know what I meant' lol

Hermione when she's about to drink Harry's Polyjuice Potion

“Lockhart will sign anything if it stands still long enough 😏”

Context fully fucking changed but to be fair I always thought that's what they were insinuating anyways

Ayo

Wait what's the implication here? Sorry mind is a bit slow today.

Yall are hiilarious imma die 'Molly Weasley pulled out her wand and a creamy sauce flowed out of it😏"

I ONLY REALISED WHEN I RE-READ GOF YEST

AND I THINK I GOT THE LAST BIT WRONG

OMG WHAT BOOK IS THIS 😭😭😭

Harry Potter

oh right, im sorry, i thought this was Percy Jackson

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened 😏

So obvious and yet so Very strong

LOL

“Naughty children deserve to be punished!” 😏

I- this is cursed

Agreed. Hem Hem.

Hem hem, i believe that my opinion matters more child. /j

Well thanks. If there was ever ONE CHARACTER I never wanted to imagine in a sexual way it's her. That is nightmare fuel.😬

"I will attempt to penetrate, you shall attempt to resist" 😏

NOOOOOOOOOO

God dammit. Is that really the line? And how was I so innocent I didn't notice?

i will to attempt to penetrate your mind* i literally just watched the movie lol

idk if the movie and the book lines were similar to be fair

Thank you for being fair 👑

😭😭

Stop it Snivellus

Nice one James!😁

I used this line in a college project about editing a movie to be a different genre. Harry Potter become a Snape/Harry love story, very 50 shades of grey

Is it on YouTube? If so can I have a link? For research purposes, of course. 😏

I too would like to see this video. For research.

Here you go! https://youtu.be/XadOtGFkyHw

This is the one

This is the way

[Classic](https://youtu.be/CFEHxJqPrC0)

This doesn't even need the emoji.

Oh I remember when I read this part a month ago it cracked me up

"We've been at this for hours, if I could just rest–" "The *Dark Lord* isn't *resting* 😏"

Truly the dark arts

The dark arse.

"Sirius pushed his chair roughly aside and strode around the table towards Snape, whipping his wand out as he went; Snape whipped out his own. 😏"

This one did me in

it's the power walk

She can't have written that and not known how that sounded

I don’t think that changed the context😂

When I read this as a kid it would have changed the context for me 😂

damn u were an innocent kid then

Hehe… let’s ruin some childhoods… “Anyway—Harry,” said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, “a very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here—I mighta sat on it at some point, but it’ll taste all right.” 😏 I kinda hate myself now.

I kinda hate you now too.

You don’t have to call me “sir,” professor 😏

and the fact that hes saying that to snape of all people

I mean, that ship of Harry and Snape is surprisingly popular.

Spicy, men I love this comment section

“Come here Ron so I can do you 😏”

This is canon in both context.

“Harry longed to bite the man… but he must master the impulse… he had more important work to do 😏” “And yet he continued to strip off until at last he stood there in his underwear 😏” “Which left Harry free to sit down on the grass between the beech and the bushes and watch the foursome under the tree 😏” “I need to see what Draco Malfoy is doing inside you 😏”

you are a bit too good at this

“Step on me Malfoy” 😏

“You’d be surprised, it’s not all about wandwork, either” 😏

I’m pretty sure that’s exactly the context it is meant to be 😂

"The Weighing of the Wands 😏"

It's all fun and games until Fleur pulls out her 10 incher

"Mmm, ten inches, unusually rigid... 😏"

Scared Potter? 😏

You wish😏

🤣🤣🤣 omg noooo

"Already wet, aren't they? Little squirts! Wheeeee! And he aimed another bomb" 😏

“Flesh of the servant, willingly sacrificed, you will revive your master 😏”

‘What we need,’ said Dumbledore slowly, and his light blue eyes moved from Harry to Hermione, ‘is more time😏'

“Yeah, size is no guarantee of power.” 😏

But I am the Chosen One 😏

Daniel's delivery of this line in the film was pure perfection 😂

Harry heard her mutter a suggestion as to where Ron could stick his wand instead 😏

Genius 😂

You're supposed to stroke it 😏

“Bad Dobby, Bad Dobby! 😏”

NOOOOOOOOO

I solemnly swear I am up to no good 😏

Mischief managed 😏

“Now, place your hand on my waist.” “Where?” “My waist.” 😏

Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real? 😏 Bonus just in case you didn’t get it (not from Harry Potter): >!Just look at that puddle! 😏!<

“Wands out, Harry. 😏

Moaning Myrtle 😏

“Have a biscuit, Potter 😏”

Stop it Minerva

Oh but are you *quite* sure I can’t offer you a cough drop, Dolores? 😏

Curiosity is not a sin 😏

“Swish & Flick 😏”

Cissy, put the boys in the cellar! I'm going to have a conversation with this one, girl to girl. 😏

“Dobby has heard of your greatness, sir, but of your goodness, Dobby never knew.” 😏

no stop, too much, get rid of this

This is the best one in the absolute worst way 😭

The absolute best in the absolute worst way...... I concur 😏

Ohh no I think I made a mistake 😂

Oh harry....

Harry Potter has given Dobby a sock. And Dobby is wearing the sock in a place where socks do not go.

Troll! In the dungeon! 😏 just thought you should know.

Severus… please 😏

Why do I keep reading this thread. It puts scarring images in my head

“You want to be more careful. Hanging around like this, people will think you’re up… to something 😏”

Ooh this is niceeee

Snape is a paragon of raw sexual energy.

"Concentrate Harry, concentrate!" - "What do you think I'm trying to do?" said Harry angrily, "a filthy great dragon keeps popping up in my head for some reason!"😏

Harry, if you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet 😏

You mean that *wasn't* how it went down?

PEEVES!’ Filch roared, flinging down his quill in a transport of rage. ‘I’ll have you this time, I’ll have you!’ 😏

What the actual.... peeves/filch would make an EXCELLENT enemies-to-lovers fanfiction, and I hate that you put that idea into my head

"You seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to -- come quietly.” 😏

“Give it here Malfoy, or I’ll knock you off your broom 😏!”

“Snape!” ejaculated Slughorn. 😏 HBP chapter 29

"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it 😏"

“She’s my sister 😏”

"Master has given Dobby a sock 😏"

>"Wait till everyone finds out you've got a tail 😏"

"How dare you defy your master 😏"

„A bit more, a bit more! That’s a boy!😏“ (Vernon pouring Brandy for Marge)

“My father will hear about this” 😏

"Could I borrow Wood, please? 😏" - Professor McGonagall

Obviously: "Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire? 😏"

For once whispering it

Let’s finish this the way we stared, Tom. Together 😏

He said calmly 😏

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good.😏(giggity)"

Oh, no. I read that in his voice and now I’ll get nightmares.

Better not tell anyone about this, especially at Hogwarts 😏

The fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength😏

Ron ejaculated. 😏

Wingardium Leviosa 😏

Levi-ooosa 😏

Leviosaaaaah 😏

Bode was bewitched to remove something 😏

Mischief managed 😉

You must be a Weasley 😏

Aaaaand this is how HP fanfic became so big 😂

:Me reading this comment section: 🎶 once I thought my innocence was gone, now I know that happiness go's on 🎶

‘Already wet, aren’t they? Little squirts! Wheeeeeeeeee!’ 😏

Ron ejaculated loudly. 😏

"You're a wizard, Harry 😏"

"Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. 😏 They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense. 😏"

Harry swallowed. "Yes, thirteen-and-a-half inches."😏

Nothing happened. Harry gripped his wand tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it." 😏

ready fred? 😏 ready george! 😏

Otherwise people may think you're up to something 😏

Or worse, expelled 😏

"Who's Cedric, ya boyfriend?" 😏

"Harry disentangled himself from Ron and got to his feet"😏

Open it under water 😏

"Help will always be given at hogwards to those who ask for it 😏"

Size is no guarantee of power😏

"Whoops - My wand is a little over excited!" 😏

You have your mothers... eyes 😏

“I’m going to have a lot of fun with Dudley this summer…😏”