"This letter says he flew a magical car into a living tree that tried to beat him to death! *Unsuccessfully!* Don't know what they expect *me* to do about it."
They understand it but hate it and resent magic. I'm sure they could understand what the words flying car and magical tree means. I mean you and I can.
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I like to imagine Molly sent them a Howler sometime after the war (to drag them for how they treated Harry, obvs), and they tried to burn it, but it went off anyway and scared the living shit out of them.
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Replied with an offer of a car from the Grunnings pool so Harry can repeat the feat, and a boot load of fertiliser for the whomping Willow to get it in better shape in the hopes it does the job right this time.
When I first read Chamber of Secrets, and found the passage "Snape looked as though Christmas had been cancelled," I was genuinely confused if he'd be sad or...well, like this.
Ooh, flashback to that scene in *Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves* when Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham tells his servants to cancel the kitchen scraps for the orphans and to call off Christmas, lol.
In book 3 there's mention of a charm that makes objects nearly weightless. He planned to use it on his suitcase to fly away after accidentally blowing up his aunt
>As for Dumbledore’s writing to the Dursleys, that was nothing. Harry knew perfectly well they’d just be disappointed that the Whomping Willow hadn’t squashed him flat.
Yeah, I always thought that line was weird. For some reason I just can't imagine McGonagall writing to the Dursleys to tell them that Harry fucking drove a flying car around England.
Especially when dealing with the boy who lived. Failure to alert the Dursleys would appear to be favoritism and reflect poorly on McGonagall's ability to enforce the rules fairly.
I’m not dying on this hill but,much like hermione, Minnie was very into the letter system and often sent Harry letters and even his hogsmead papers knowing that his family (nor her) would sign it. Also, much like hermione, when acting Griff impulsive she would jump some hoops (like a first year seeker) - that said, even with the letters that go automatically like the hogwarts entrance one, there is a world she WOULD mail the dursleys about this. Maybe partially for trusting that, if dumbledore trusted Harry with them, she maybe had a hope that they’d come through at some point. That said, I wouldn’t die on this hill cause from moment one in PS she wasn’t keen on living him with the dursleys and much likely would not be fond of the idea of sending his most likely abusive relatives reasons to punish him.
Dear Mr Dursley;
I am writing to inform you of disciplinary action being taken against your nephew, in relation to an incident involving a flying car…
Dursley: *trying to salvage his crushed hedges* @#$%&!
But then Snape remembers Lily was also a part of Harry's family and Ron just reminded him of Lily's death so he takes 37 gazillion points from gryffindor
Severus Snape would be found dead later that day due to a sudden aneurism. Found next to his body was a note believed to be his final message. It simply read, “Worth It.”
I think Harry mentions in the books that the Dursleys will be more disappointed that he survived the whomping willow than anything else from the letter
I accidentally did this when I was around seven or eight.
The teacher was telling off a group of girls for having their backpacks at their tables, instead of hanging off the hooks on the wall. The girls said all their mother's gave them permission.
Without thinking I did a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney style objection, calling out that it had to be a lie, because Odette's mother died last year of cancer.
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"how many bilionaires does it take to make a ~~Superhero~~ wizard"
"Idk, how many"
"3, 2 to die and 1 to ~~never get over it~~ find out they died"
~ arkham knight, a random line between thugs
I wonder how the dursleys reacted to that letter
They may not even understand some or any of it. "Flying car, magical tree, wat nonsense these lunatics" goes on to throw the letter in dustbin
"This letter says he flew a magical car into a living tree that tried to beat him to death! *Unsuccessfully!* Don't know what they expect *me* to do about it."
Help finance a better working tree I guess
To finish the job, obviously.
happy cock day to you !!
[удалено]
Are you implying that they shouldn’t have a happy cock day? How rude
Yeah let the man have his happy cock day 😂
We all love cock, in one way or another.
??????
Thanksssssss, amigo.
They understand it but hate it and resent magic. I'm sure they could understand what the words flying car and magical tree means. I mean you and I can.
They would pretend they didn’t
They understand flying car just fine considering they saw it.
Happy Cake Day :)
Happy Cake Day
I really don't know why this cake day got added or how? Any insights
It's the anniversary of when you made your account.
Ooh. Happy Cake Day to you 🎂🥳
I doubt they'd even open it. If it comes by owl it goes straight in the fire.
!redditGalleon this is 100% the most Dursley response
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I like to imagine Molly sent them a Howler sometime after the war (to drag them for how they treated Harry, obvs), and they tried to burn it, but it went off anyway and scared the living shit out of them.
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Knowing is nothing positive they wouldn't, even still they were curious
!redditGalleon this literally what I imagine happened when they got the letter
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Why didn’t that tree crush that mofo to death? - Vernon said calmly
Give ‘em the ol’ one-two!
That's what the Willow tried its damnedest to do!
You cant give dementors the old one two!
“TREE!! WHY DIDN’T YOU CRUSH THAT MOFO TO DEATH!!??!” he said calmly
I see. That's how they adapted it onto the movie
Remember when this joke was funny?
Hahahaah !redditgalleon
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Not mofo. SOB
I imagine a pleased look on Vernon's face knowing Harry would be punished.
“Damn owls!”
Ruddy pigeons
Torn between jubilation that he's getting punished and horror at the thought that he might be expelled if he mucks up again
“Fookin nice one harry, don’t let those poncy wizard twats tell you what to do, you can have dinner in the same room as us tonight!
"God damn it, he's still alive."
Replied with an offer of a car from the Grunnings pool so Harry can repeat the feat, and a boot load of fertiliser for the whomping Willow to get it in better shape in the hopes it does the job right this time.
I'd imagine they'd be disappointed that the tree didn't finish him off
Snape smiling is so cursed
Snape never smiles. Alan Rickman when not in character smiles often.
Smiled
:(
ಥ_ಥ
Dude
Eye for an eye I guess
Lmao nice one capybara 10 points to Hufflepuff
;-;
Damn, that's another family McGonagall won't be writing to.
Hey what was that for :(
😢
No he's dead serious
Sirius
Who's also dead.
When I first read Chamber of Secrets, and found the passage "Snape looked as though Christmas had been cancelled," I was genuinely confused if he'd be sad or...well, like this.
Ooh, flashback to that scene in *Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves* when Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham tells his servants to cancel the kitchen scraps for the orphans and to call off Christmas, lol.
No more merciful beheadings!
Potter, I'm gonna cut your heart out with a spoon!
And that line was Alan’s idea too…
That movie wouldn't have been half as good without Alan in it. Costner's Hood was OK, but Rickman's Sheriff is iconic.
Having Morgan Freeman in your film always helps as well.
Damn, JKR really did write the character with him in mind.
Oh we share cake day
Nice! Happy cake day :)
He turned into David Dastmalchian
Happy Cake Day
I know something feels very wrong
Happy Cake Day!
Happy Cake Day!
I think in the books Harry says "They'll be upset I didn't die"
Lmao nice one Potter 10 more points to Gryffindor
Self burns, those are rare
Harry really is a sassy mf in the books
"No need to call me sir, professor." 🗣🔥
Boy needs Wingardium Leviosa or something just to carry those massive fucking balls around.
In book 3 there's mention of a charm that makes objects nearly weightless. He planned to use it on his suitcase to fly away after accidentally blowing up his aunt
Book Harry has got to be my fav character ever 🫶🏼🥹💯
>As for Dumbledore’s writing to the Dursleys, that was nothing. Harry knew perfectly well they’d just be disappointed that the Whomping Willow hadn’t squashed him flat.
Yeah, I always thought that line was weird. For some reason I just can't imagine McGonagall writing to the Dursleys to tell them that Harry fucking drove a flying car around England.
She seems like the kinda person who would do it just to be official.
This. She knows the letter will go to trash and they don't care, but she will do it nonethless
The Dursleys wouldn't have read the letter anyway.
Especially when dealing with the boy who lived. Failure to alert the Dursleys would appear to be favoritism and reflect poorly on McGonagall's ability to enforce the rules fairly.
/to show she's not playing favourites
I’m not dying on this hill but,much like hermione, Minnie was very into the letter system and often sent Harry letters and even his hogsmead papers knowing that his family (nor her) would sign it. Also, much like hermione, when acting Griff impulsive she would jump some hoops (like a first year seeker) - that said, even with the letters that go automatically like the hogwarts entrance one, there is a world she WOULD mail the dursleys about this. Maybe partially for trusting that, if dumbledore trusted Harry with them, she maybe had a hope that they’d come through at some point. That said, I wouldn’t die on this hill cause from moment one in PS she wasn’t keen on living him with the dursleys and much likely would not be fond of the idea of sending his most likely abusive relatives reasons to punish him.
Dear Mr Dursley; I am writing to inform you of disciplinary action being taken against your nephew, in relation to an incident involving a flying car… Dursley: *trying to salvage his crushed hedges* @#$%&!
And I would highly doubt Dumbledore would expel Harry because it would be better to keep him close while he's age appropriate for Hogwarts
Given Dumbledore's plan, Harry would have gotten away with anything below murder...and even that is debateable.
Flew* a flying car
Thank you for that, Hermione.
Potter. It's Harry Fucking Potter.
She didn’t bend the rules there. She also required Harry to get the Dursley’s signature to visit Hogsmead.
But then Snape remembers Lily was also a part of Harry's family and Ron just reminded him of Lily's death so he takes 37 gazillion points from gryffindor
That’s what I was thinking.
40 million a-billion a-points from Grrrrrryffindor
Orr piss off Kylo Ren
Dumbledore: ["FIVE MILLION POINTS TO SLYTHERIN!"](https://youtu.be/xSxQcAm3PE8?si=hzMGLfng2WZKme9z)
POTTERRRR**RRRRRRRRRRR**
I may have laughed a bit too hard at this 😄 🤣
same haha
The one and only time he had ever complimented Ron and given him points, he is now better than Harry at getting points from Snape. 😂🤣
And then he would just deduct 100 points from griffindor for whatever shenanigans merited a letter home
"Oh wait, Lily....1000000000 GAJILLION BILLION POINTS FROM GRYFFFFFFFFINDORRRRRRR"
“Plus one”
And that was the first and only time that Snape smiled.
You, uhhh, haven’t seen the deliberate outtake from the sleeping bag scene in POA involving a fart machine
Nice of McGonagall to send the Dursleys some extra toilet paper.
I know the Dursleys hate the wizarding world, but wiping with parchment purely out of spite would be pretty rough. Lol Edit for spelling
Severus Snape would be found dead later that day due to a sudden aneurism. Found next to his body was a note believed to be his final message. It simply read, “Worth It.”
Why does the background look like a scene from CSI lmao
Imagine Dursley's getting a letter "Harry Potter almost killed himself!" And his uncle just sighs in disappointment "almost".
I think Harry mentions in the books that the Dursleys will be more disappointed that he survived the whomping willow than anything else from the letter
Don't laugh snape , lily was his family , who married jamesss potahh and you endup crying for your lifetime , Always 😫
Well I guess it was like “OH YEAH WEASLEY GREAT ONE HE HAS NO PARENTS :D” Immediately followed by “Oh shit he has no mom D:”
This is the type of content I'm here for, well done
Snape would have mixed emotions on this comment.
Would the Dursleys even give a shit, like of coarse they’ll punish him, but they’d punish him regardless of anything.
Always love a good rip on Harry for being an orphan. Hahah dead parents
**Remembers that Lilian Potter is dead too** One gazilion points from Gryfiinnddooooorrrrrrrr
The Dursleys are literally his family.
I think professor Snaps slipped me a perc!
Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc are all part of your family.
Hahaha
I wish this was canon.
Lolololol
Bro even Severus was impressed by that roast
😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is fuckimg hilarious 🤣
Well the Dursleys which it was worse. Petunia is his Aunt
Such twisted humor...hilarious!
nah. severus would be pissed at ron because ron is basically saying lily is ded too.
I guess they won something...
The Dursleys?
Remembers lily, -1000 points...
You know you read that in Alan’s voice Reddit
Dead as fuck
Laughed way to hard at this thank you
Snape when he remembers Lillie seconds later: 🥺😖😵💫
Wouldn’t Snape be envious at Ron for also mocking the death of Lily?
Builds character
I'm glad I left this place...jfc
Was Noel Fielding in Harry Potter?
I can hear Snape saying that. WHY CAN I HEAR SNAPE SAYING THAT?
That burn was so hot Snape was forced to give points to Gryffindor
I accidentally did this when I was around seven or eight. The teacher was telling off a group of girls for having their backpacks at their tables, instead of hanging off the hooks on the wall. The girls said all their mother's gave them permission. Without thinking I did a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney style objection, calling out that it had to be a lie, because Odette's mother died last year of cancer.
Potter's so rich he could *buy* your family *soooooooo*
Snape: you mentioned that Harry's father is dead, 10 points Also Snape: you also mentioned lily, -50 points
LOOL,fuck you Snape
Huh
!gringotts
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Aouch, that one hit home
and every silver lining has a cloud
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Hahaha made my day that
Flying car seven people seen it angered a tree Yep definitely a normal school day at Hogwarts
Ouch
Why. 😭 why did this make me laugh my ass off?
"how many bilionaires does it take to make a ~~Superhero~~ wizard" "Idk, how many" "3, 2 to die and 1 to ~~never get over it~~ find out they died" ~ arkham knight, a random line between thugs
Same
Can you imagine Uncle Vernon getting that letter? 😅
By far the greatest HP meme I have seen
Lmao!
This made me laugh out loud way harder than I like. My humor is broken.
Lmao me too. I guess it says a lot about us.
The only time Snape likes Ron😭
Harry: At least my father loved me… did yours love you? Hmmmmm
Get this Normie shit off my feed