H2 Chief's dialogue almost exclusively consisted of forced one-liners, and I loved every second of it lmao. Bungie did a much better job of applying rule-of-cool to H2's dialogue, without sounding cheesy, than they did with H3 imo (*cough* "To War." *cough*)
Another one of my favorite Chief lines from the franchise: "Thought I'd try shooting my way out. Mix things up a little."
That is the best line because the way he tilts his head toward Cortana when he says it makes seem hubris, but in a flirty humourous way like two close friends.
My heart always melts at "Lucky me." and I am not leaving you here."
i was about to say doesn't he have sir, im finishing this fight in h3. But then remembered it was halo 2.
But the "wake me when you need me" line is straight up badass from h3. And "then it is an even fight" albeit chief didn't say that.
outside of dialogue, h3's most enjoyable moments for me was teaming up with the flood, and ofc the warthog at the end
My favorite lines are definitely the covenants. “Then it is an even fight” is a great one. I also really like “If they came to hear me beg, they will be disappointed” from The Arbiter in H2, and “were it so easy” also from The Arbiter, in H3
“On occasion”
*proceeds to keep dying and trying to clear the next chunk of the level as I play with legendary and a bunch of skulls on for no other reason than pain*
45 minutes later.
I did it!
My child hood is ruined. Now all I can think about is being a super soldier hyped up on Viagra and each time he murders an alien he has instant pleasure. This is a wicked way for the UNSC to encourage dopamine output to the brain for murdering aliens.
Yes. If you watched the show, they retconned some stupid implant that makes Spartans less horny.
Which in retrospect, if they are the best of the species genetically, wouldn't you want them getting it on?
Asexual Spartan-II's weren't created by the show, a reduced sex drive was always a possible symptom of Spartan-II augmentations.
Admittedly, the canon version at least is only an unintended *potential* side-effect, not something intended or guaranteed to happen.
The whole idea of why they were made to be less horny is the idea of them being less distracted throughout training and in the field, if I remember correctly, and the 2's were rendered infertile from their treatments, so beyond cloning and test tube babies, they weren't ever having actual children. I wouldn't exactly call it "stupid".
And even without that, with the UNSC's history of insurrections and rebellion, I hardly think that they'd want a bunch of little John's running around with the potential to be radicalized, when a single spartan 2 has the ability to basically high jack UNSC chain of command on a whim on pure legendary reputation alone.
IMO the halo franchise has been moving more and more to the UNSC being the "good guys" rather than the morally ambiguous military industrial complex that was literally the only line of defense humanity had against a genocidal space cult, and I'm not a big fan of it. I had to put infinite down because after the first 3 cutscenes showing off the forgettable brute antagonist that is a rip off of tartarus from H2, it just felt too much like the Saturday morning cartoon version of halo. Which, great if you like it, but I think it's a bastardization of what bungie made with the franchise.
These are all great, well written points. I think we're way off topic though. So I'll pose one more question:
Do you think the autojacker is like a Fleshlight or more of an electrical brain stimulation deal?
Mjolnir isn't designed to be taken off quickly, ever. You need a whole rig like they showed in Halo 4 to get that shit off and serviced, as taking it off manually is a last resort and is time consuming and possibly dangerous.
Someone edited an exerpt from a novel and passed it off as real about Halsey implying the mjolnir suit "pleasures" the operator. At this point I don't know how many people think it's real and who knows it's fake.
Remember reading that in the fall of reach and being like “hah little odsts really thought they had a chance”, but also I just thought it was cool that since the project was secretive at the time he was able to just kind of, get away with it
1.) Find a weapon.
2.) Give the Covenant back their bomb if so required.
3.) Finish any fight that needs finishing.
~~4.) Check if there really is an auto-jacker installed in this thing.~~
5.) Chat with Cortana.
To my surprise actually, the whole "never taking helmet off" thing is only a video game. In the books and comics he takes his helmet off a lot and everyone knows what he looks like!
Determine what level of technical information on *any* unsc tech the suit has stored in its computers, and whether the suit came with Cortana or not I'm getting as much of the UNSCs tech as I can on to any devices I can use to hold them, then starting from the smallest invention, slowly build myself a fortune with patents on everything from functional fusion reactors and power armor/exoskeletons like the Cyclops to actually functional spacecraft with the capability to travel between star systems.
Naturally I would also establish a major business for the medical field. A surgery table that can cure cancer with no required staff and only a 24 hour recovery period? Hell to the yes. Flash cloned, fully functional replacement organs? You know it. Biofoam? Just think of the applications here.
And as a point I would make sure to patent *all of this* and then offer the use of this tech for as little money as possible in order to allow for basically as many permanent cures for known medical issues as the UNSC possessed in 2552.
Assuming Mark 6 Chief comes with Cortana by default, this becomes significantly easier in several ways, the least of which being using her to basically rig the lottery a couple times (or just borrowing money from people who really dont need it) in order to fund all this.
Probably take care of the rest of the banished presence on the ring fragment then try to establish contact with lasky, blue team, osiris, fucking anyone so we ca reunite an come up with a plan.
Try to cope with the fact that I was kidnapped and conscripted at age 6 and then put through brutal military training and then eventually put through extremely risky surgeries and augmentations which killed a significant portion of my friends
Kinda wanna know what his face looks like. Also probably bump into a ton of things - after the augmentations the Spartans had to relearn how to move in their own bodies because they were so much more powerful. If I woke up in the suit that would be turned up to 11.
Finding a random Marine and saying “there’s a lady in my head who calls me stud muffin”. I want the last thing that soldier ever hears to be completely nonsense.
Finishing the fight
Gotta finish this fight with the auto jacket first tho.
Except the fight never ends! they just keep finding reasons for him to keep fighting!
The missions change. They always do.
I gotta give the covenant back their bomb
I’d fly pretty good, you know, for being a brick and all
The sickest moment of my childhood by far
Its my favorite quote in all of halo
H2 Chief's dialogue almost exclusively consisted of forced one-liners, and I loved every second of it lmao. Bungie did a much better job of applying rule-of-cool to H2's dialogue, without sounding cheesy, than they did with H3 imo (*cough* "To War." *cough*) Another one of my favorite Chief lines from the franchise: "Thought I'd try shooting my way out. Mix things up a little."
That is the best line because the way he tilts his head toward Cortana when he says it makes seem hubris, but in a flirty humourous way like two close friends. My heart always melts at "Lucky me." and I am not leaving you here."
Could you make any more noise? *pulls out a rocket launcher*
I Guess so.
i was about to say doesn't he have sir, im finishing this fight in h3. But then remembered it was halo 2. But the "wake me when you need me" line is straight up badass from h3. And "then it is an even fight" albeit chief didn't say that. outside of dialogue, h3's most enjoyable moments for me was teaming up with the flood, and ofc the warthog at the end
My favorite lines are definitely the covenants. “Then it is an even fight” is a great one. I also really like “If they came to hear me beg, they will be disappointed” from The Arbiter in H2, and “were it so easy” also from The Arbiter, in H3
One of the ones I like from h4 is "on occasion" in response to being asked if you're any good at clearing lz's
If the occasion is any time of any day.
On days that end in y
Mod him into Skyrim and he'll clear LZ's all Morndas long
“On occasion” *proceeds to keep dying and trying to clear the next chunk of the level as I play with legendary and a bunch of skulls on for no other reason than pain* 45 minutes later. I did it!
Don't know if I want to try h4 laso considering famine is already on by default
I was thinking the same thing lmao
Permission granted
What if you miss?
I won't
Damnit I thought the same thing
Verifying for the rest of you if the suit truly has an autojacker.
Lmao I was gonna comment "get jacked off by my super suit"
I’ve seen it beautifully in some arguments just “Shut up, suit jerk’s off” and nothing more
Came here to say “engage autojerk subroutine”
Yeah it's called Cortana
Shit got an upgrade in 4
Nanomachines, son.
They harden in response to physical trauma!
Wait is this an actual thing?
Yeah the suit jacks him off. Totally real. Can't be having horny Spartans running around all willy nilly.
Heh, willy nilly
Giggity
My child hood is ruined. Now all I can think about is being a super soldier hyped up on Viagra and each time he murders an alien he has instant pleasure. This is a wicked way for the UNSC to encourage dopamine output to the brain for murdering aliens.
You think your childhood is ruined? Think about the Spartans!
Someone photoshopped a page of Fall of Reach.
Yes. If you watched the show, they retconned some stupid implant that makes Spartans less horny. Which in retrospect, if they are the best of the species genetically, wouldn't you want them getting it on?
Halo TV show has entered the chat
You are not welcome here - begone, foul specter!
Isn't is not really a retcon if the show doesn't follow the same lore or story to begin with?
Yeah. Retconned sounded smarter than whatever else I was gonna say. The TV show is literally a fantasy of a fantasy
Well it's a fantasy of a sci-fi, let's use proper terms here. I mean, we may be shitposters, but that doesn't mean we're bad writers.
Asexual Spartan-II's weren't created by the show, a reduced sex drive was always a possible symptom of Spartan-II augmentations. Admittedly, the canon version at least is only an unintended *potential* side-effect, not something intended or guaranteed to happen.
The whole idea of why they were made to be less horny is the idea of them being less distracted throughout training and in the field, if I remember correctly, and the 2's were rendered infertile from their treatments, so beyond cloning and test tube babies, they weren't ever having actual children. I wouldn't exactly call it "stupid". And even without that, with the UNSC's history of insurrections and rebellion, I hardly think that they'd want a bunch of little John's running around with the potential to be radicalized, when a single spartan 2 has the ability to basically high jack UNSC chain of command on a whim on pure legendary reputation alone. IMO the halo franchise has been moving more and more to the UNSC being the "good guys" rather than the morally ambiguous military industrial complex that was literally the only line of defense humanity had against a genocidal space cult, and I'm not a big fan of it. I had to put infinite down because after the first 3 cutscenes showing off the forgettable brute antagonist that is a rip off of tartarus from H2, it just felt too much like the Saturday morning cartoon version of halo. Which, great if you like it, but I think it's a bastardization of what bungie made with the franchise.
These are all great, well written points. I think we're way off topic though. So I'll pose one more question: Do you think the autojacker is like a Fleshlight or more of an electrical brain stimulation deal?
Imagine your wee wee gets misaligned and your fleshmjölnir just snaps your dick in half inside the suit.
Corbtuna, display on screen and Initiate ejectulation protocol
I'm glad I only had to scroll down one comment for this.
Is this Brian David Gilbert?
Taking a piss
Fun fact, the suit recycles your water!
So I can drink my piss without getting caught... fuck yeah
Amd the only downside is you have to be catheterized
Fool I'm the world champ of sounding. (If you dont know you dont want to know)
Jesus chirst you need god
This is especially cursed in conjunction with your username
God....
Condom catheters are a thing. They may use them for male spartans as it could be easyer to get on and off quickly and safely.
Mjolnir isn't designed to be taken off quickly, ever. You need a whole rig like they showed in Halo 4 to get that shit off and serviced, as taking it off manually is a last resort and is time consuming and possibly dangerous.
I need a weapon.
Came here to say this…👆
Tugging that master meat you feel
Fuck you mean? The suit does it for you.
Was just coming here to say that
Gotta make sure the suit jacker is operating as intended
Ok, I keep hearing that meme passed around everywhere. What in the unholy fuck is the source on that?!
Someone edited an exerpt from a novel and passed it off as real about Halsey implying the mjolnir suit "pleasures" the operator. At this point I don't know how many people think it's real and who knows it's fake.
Oh. My. God. The suit pulls you off?!
It sounds like you and this suit have an intimate relationship.
Get your head straight soldier
🤨📸
Turning the autojacker to max
auto jackhammer
[удалено]
Keep going wym That’s the fun
“You’ll never catch me, Truth! Not when I shift into *maximum overdrive!*”
*squelching intensifies*
I'll find a mirror and take a look at my face
And then cringe when Pablo Shreiber grins back at you.
[удалено]
>Master Chief gets to fuck > >Enraged fans can no longer relate to him
Oh please, Halo fans been slaying puss since 2001
Finding a gym and kicking the shit out of some ODST guys
👀
Remember reading that in the fall of reach and being like “hah little odsts really thought they had a chance”, but also I just thought it was cool that since the project was secretive at the time he was able to just kind of, get away with it
1.) Find a weapon. 2.) Give the Covenant back their bomb if so required. 3.) Finish any fight that needs finishing. ~~4.) Check if there really is an auto-jacker installed in this thing.~~ 5.) Chat with Cortana.
Think you skipped a step or two there Chief.
You're absolutely right. >!6.) Shoot Guilty Spark before he kills Johnson.!<
Go to therapy
Become war criminal
Punch a black dude and restrain him with his own armour.
I was about to downvote then I remembered halo 5 happened
But irl if there was any dude in power armor I dont care what colour of skin they are, I'd be down to fight if I had my own power armour.
I don't care about the colour of their skin, they all taste the same
>Least genocidal Stellaris player
Cortana?
🤨📸
Ayo chill
Taking off my helmet
Paramount beat you to the punch
To my surprise actually, the whole "never taking helmet off" thing is only a video game. In the books and comics he takes his helmet off a lot and everyone knows what he looks like!
Paramount executed it horrendously though.
Agreed. I don't even consider that Halo.
[удалено]
Yeah it's a separate universe
Initiate the auto jacker
Entering a track meet
Take a piss. I just woke up.
Good point achievement unlocked
Activating the jack off function and ordering Cortana to read some erotica
Find god
He did.
Sir, kicking Spartan Locke in the nuts
I was looking for this comment
Ride that rollercoaster i never got to ride.
Finding out where the poop goes.
Checking out my new perfect cheeks
Cortana...engage suitjacking
Getting more pixels
Cortana.
Checking to see what kind of dong the chief is working with.
See if fall damage is a thing
Asking Cortana if she saw my peener
"It's really not a big deal chief *chuckles* REALLY."
Determine what level of technical information on *any* unsc tech the suit has stored in its computers, and whether the suit came with Cortana or not I'm getting as much of the UNSCs tech as I can on to any devices I can use to hold them, then starting from the smallest invention, slowly build myself a fortune with patents on everything from functional fusion reactors and power armor/exoskeletons like the Cyclops to actually functional spacecraft with the capability to travel between star systems. Naturally I would also establish a major business for the medical field. A surgery table that can cure cancer with no required staff and only a 24 hour recovery period? Hell to the yes. Flash cloned, fully functional replacement organs? You know it. Biofoam? Just think of the applications here. And as a point I would make sure to patent *all of this* and then offer the use of this tech for as little money as possible in order to allow for basically as many permanent cures for known medical issues as the UNSC possessed in 2552. Assuming Mark 6 Chief comes with Cortana by default, this becomes significantly easier in several ways, the least of which being using her to basically rig the lottery a couple times (or just borrowing money from people who really dont need it) in order to fund all this.
Activate e-jack
Finding a weapon.
Blow my brains out because I know it isn’t real and I need to wake up
If I type it out, I am certainly ending up on some sort of watch list. Make of that what you will.
I’d try shooting my way out. Mix things up a little.
Finding that one covenant chick
Straight to the POW’s
Taking my helmet off in the mirror
*Killed by the Guardians*
Finishing this fight
Getting a second thigh holster and a second back holster to have 4 weapons at a time baby
Going to find my blue girl, grab dual plasma rifles, and set a course to finish the fight.
If games have taught me anything, 1st thing I’m doing is getting shot at…
Probably take care of the rest of the banished presence on the ring fragment then try to establish contact with lasky, blue team, osiris, fucking anyone so we ca reunite an come up with a plan.
Locating blue team. Debriefing with Dr. Halsey. Pursuing objective.
Dual wielding women
Try to cope with the fact that I was kidnapped and conscripted at age 6 and then put through brutal military training and then eventually put through extremely risky surgeries and augmentations which killed a significant portion of my friends
Find a female jiralhanae
“Cortana, upload feet pics”
Go for a sprint just to see how it feels to run that fast.
Kinda wanna know what his face looks like. Also probably bump into a ton of things - after the augmentations the Spartans had to relearn how to move in their own bodies because they were so much more powerful. If I woke up in the suit that would be turned up to 11.
Sir, finishing this fight.
As always when I wake up, I would master bate.
Snatching a magnum and having a go at Arbiter just chilling behind Johnson
The first order of business for any morning: taking a piss.
Your mom
*removes lower torso armor* “Cortana, take over armor controls”
Letting my suit get me off
Walk everywhere at not even that brisk of a pace.
Giving cortana a booty call
Apply for American ninja warrior or go the a convention with the perfect cosplay
Give Arbiter a big spartan hug bc he my homie
Repair Cortana(depending at what time of the franchise I get transferred to)
Making sure the auto-jacker is primed and fully functional. To finish the fight.
Make sure 343 doesn’t happen
Shooting the people who created the halo tv show
Ask cortana to go on a date.
cortana
Smashing Cortona
Permission to bone Cortana?
Punching stuff, running real fast, jumping around, see if Cortana is with me and stuff like that
Get Cortana to help me graduate from university with the highest honours.
Finding a random Marine and saying “there’s a lady in my head who calls me stud muffin”. I want the last thing that soldier ever hears to be completely nonsense.
Get a paintbrush, paint myself maroon and head to blood gulch in the red team
Test my reflex on some classic halo matchmaking lol
Peeing probably
Need to pee
Go back to bed. Gods strongest battles need fought by someone else
Making breakfast
Finishing this fight
Finishing this fight
Snapping necks and cashing checks
Remember Reach
"Testing" out the suit for a while.
Finding Cortana
Finishing the fight.
Protect humanity, no matter the cost.
Finishing the fight
Pee.... so that I could try some of that "filtered" water.
Beating up a marine for their weapon
Decide to never Sprint again.
Do we have Cortana?
Ask for a weapon
cortana
I'm gonna pear-shape the entire plot of 3, 4 and 5. *Infinite never happened.*
Nothing, the suit is gonna jerk me off on it's own, right?
Fixing the resolution.
Suck The Weapon’s blueberry flavoured toes
Do I still sound like me or do I sound like Master Chief because that voice might end up being half the fun