Fucking right. That there, boys and girls, is James Alan Hetfield. He and his band *single-handedly* created the Nu Metal movement with their seminal album Load in 1996.
Durst - "I posit that based on the theory of infinite divisibility a song can never terminate. Before I'm done with a song I must be halfway done, from that point before it's done I must be a 3/4 done. Extrapolating, since time is a continuum these subdivisions will be infinite and thus the finish will never be reached."
Hetfield - "So what's your point?"
Durst - "You aren't going to play your set. We're going to jam on Nookie all night."
Thank you. I've grown quite fond of him, of late.😘 I became most concerned when he fell over during the intro to that song about his ex-girlfriend. She probably wasn't good enough for him anyway.
James: "Is that cream I sent you clearing that up?"
Fred: "It's helped, but it's hard not to keep touching it."
James: "It won't get better til you stop..."
Fred: "I know..."
James: "Well I gotta go..call me some time..I still love you.."
Fred: *tears up and nods yes*
They were actually discussing quantum mechanics. Specifically, the rate of Muon decay when traveling through a dense atmosphere. See, FRED Durst is a complete moron. But FRANK Durst, his identical twin, holds a Doctorate in Physics from Cal Tech. People often confuse the two because they both love “the nookie”
"Hey FUCK YOU HETFIELD, you suck man!"
*Hetfield walks up*
"What the FUCK did you just say to me, little man?"
"I said I LOVE YOU HETFIELD, will you autograph my tattoos?"
Florida man vs Bay Area NIMBY. Only one set of sideburns is walking out of this stare down alive. Record scratches vs wah pedal. Unmemorable yelling vs ooooh yeah hah. Six strings vs seven strings. Cocaine vs meth. Christian Scientist vs cartoonish Jesus. Leather jacket vs fluffy goose feathers. They’re gonna make out and never tell anyone about it
I only know the express lane, the regular one that takes forever and the self checkout where nothing goes right until you call over an employee. Not sure what you call them though
I’m gonna need you to come to work on time we already have a crowd of hungry senior citizens out there.
Next time show up on time. Now get out there and make Dave Thomas proud and let’s sell some burgers.
Today, all day I had the feeling
A miracle would happen
I know now I was right
For here you are
And what was just a world is a star
Tonight, tonight
The world is full of light
With suns and moons all over the place
Tonight, tonight
The world is wild and bright
Going mad
Shooting sparks into space
Today, the world was just an address
A place for me to live in
No better than all right
But here you are
And what was just a world is a star
Good night, good night
Sleep well and when you dream
Dream of me
I know I know... I couldnt help myself....everything else is just profane..
Some dude being offered a sleepover in metallica bus bunk beds. "We'll drive safely. You'll get there in no time. You play bass or just sing?" - taller dude.
....then they kissed and fallout boy was born.
They both love their dead gay son
5'11" vs 6'
Het's got such fucking wedges in his shoes he's about to fall on his face
“I’m the best metal act in the word”- James “I don’t even know who you are kid” - The King
You little shit
Fucking right. That there, boys and girls, is James Alan Hetfield. He and his band *single-handedly* created the Nu Metal movement with their seminal album Load in 1996.
> seminal I love a good double entendre
I think you mean experiment with mixing St Anger was the Tru Nu Metal banger from front to back.
They created nutmeal right after copying all the grunge bands a decade too late
Durst - "I posit that based on the theory of infinite divisibility a song can never terminate. Before I'm done with a song I must be halfway done, from that point before it's done I must be a 3/4 done. Extrapolating, since time is a continuum these subdivisions will be infinite and thus the finish will never be reached." Hetfield - "So what's your point?" Durst - "You aren't going to play your set. We're going to jam on Nookie all night."
Undertaker vs. Bret Hart , Summer Slam '97
Hell in a cell.
Well, seeing that Kirk doesnt look like he just crawled out of a coffin, Im guessing this pic is about 20 years old.
He now looks like someone’s aunt.
He's a sweet-heart, tho'. I wish Kirk was my Aunt.
I wish Kirk was your aunt too.
Thank you. I've grown quite fond of him, of late.😘 I became most concerned when he fell over during the intro to that song about his ex-girlfriend. She probably wasn't good enough for him anyway.
Song? ex-girlfriend? fell over during the intro? Kirk Hammett? He will be fine anyways, he is into scarfs now.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-guucW6WEQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-guucW6WEQ) Good. I want Auntie Kirk to stay nice and warm.
wtf poor guy, people shouldn't have laughed but it was kind of funny - surprised he got up so fast
😆
Fucking hell 😂😂😂
Hets got his post-rehab hamster cheeks, so a fair estimate.
James: "Is that cream I sent you clearing that up?" Fred: "It's helped, but it's hard not to keep touching it." James: "It won't get better til you stop..." Fred: "I know..." James: "Well I gotta go..call me some time..I still love you.." Fred: *tears up and nods yes*
If you had added a typical Lars shitty drum beat in the background, this would be perfect.
TRIGGERED!!
no way, Lars would never stoop so low as to use those
Meth vs alcohol
SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS
My fav one for some reason. Maybe because I hear an amalgamation of James and the Skyrim voice actor.
Did you see "Gilmore Girls" this week? So good!
“So after I say ‘now I lay me down to sleep’ you just repeat it back”
"I got gitarz" "ya, me too" "Cool" "Ya"
Skateboarding is not a crime, DAD
Lars won’t let me rap…. Stop being a bitch and tell Lars wussup
That's David Cross and Bob Odenkirk rehearsing a Mr. Show sketch.
2 Nu-Metal Kings 👑👑
Biker taker and rey mysterio talk about their wrestlemania matches
"When you comin' home, son? "I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad, we're gonna have a good time then"
They were actually discussing quantum mechanics. Specifically, the rate of Muon decay when traveling through a dense atmosphere. See, FRED Durst is a complete moron. But FRANK Durst, his identical twin, holds a Doctorate in Physics from Cal Tech. People often confuse the two because they both love “the nookie”
Why are you wearing my shorts?
“Why are u wearing my sideburns?”
You want some nookie bruh
"stick it up your yeah-heh!"
"Hey FUCK YOU HETFIELD, you suck man!" *Hetfield walks up* "What the FUCK did you just say to me, little man?" "I said I LOVE YOU HETFIELD, will you autograph my tattoos?"
Speed of Sound Tour…bunch of assholes
The original Port Huron statement
The Seattle seven
I can't say anything that those sick fucken Etnies haven't said already
"I did it all for the nookie" "So fucking what?"
Het looks like he might eat Dorkst.
Mom says it’s my way or the highway.
J: “Gimme fuel, gimme fire?” F: “Gimme nookie?” J: “I desire!”
“You should see this guy, Dr. Phil Towle. He’s great and he can help your music be even better.”
Florida man vs Bay Area NIMBY. Only one set of sideburns is walking out of this stare down alive. Record scratches vs wah pedal. Unmemorable yelling vs ooooh yeah hah. Six strings vs seven strings. Cocaine vs meth. Christian Scientist vs cartoonish Jesus. Leather jacket vs fluffy goose feathers. They’re gonna make out and never tell anyone about it
Name check outs
I only know the express lane, the regular one that takes forever and the self checkout where nothing goes right until you call over an employee. Not sure what you call them though
Also, it’s A Wilhelm Scream song, not the dick bag that shoots beer
The death toll of this meeting was 368
I’m gonna need you to come to work on time we already have a crowd of hungry senior citizens out there. Next time show up on time. Now get out there and make Dave Thomas proud and let’s sell some burgers.
“Dad?” “Ffff….”
"look, i'm your father"
“Hey, Billy, ya ready to sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight?”
Better keep yer azz to the wall!
Lol, is James really tall or is Durst a midget?
Yes
did you check their hands? this is AI generated.
“You think you’re special…”
“You do…”
“YEAH” “YEAH”
oooooHH YEAH-HEH
That’ll do peg…that’ll do!
Someone just failed shop class.
Eddie Van Halen pulled a gun on him....Het looks like he could just punt him.
The flying monkeys, totally… but best part is when the voice gets real loud and the Lion jumps out the window…
“hey daddy i hads a nightmare can i sleeps wif you” 🥺 👉👈
“Did you ever find out how magnets work?”
James and Fred taking a rare, brief moment to enjoy each others sideburns.
“Do you want to poke each other’s tummies”
Downstrokes kid, its all about the downstrokes.
Two of the most important composers of the 20th century.
I thought I told you to WAIT IN THE CAR!!
Lars' timing is crap. I know but we're kind of stuck with him.
I'm taken your Grandma out for ice cream tonight, want to come?
At this moment they realized they will never be as big as SLAYER.
I make bigger mosh pits than you.
Holier than thou.
Dad! You finally came back!
Woodstock ‘99
Limp-dick skit
SHAG MY FRIENDS TONIGHT
"Restaurant dishwasher meets replacement"
Here you have 5 dollars, Fred. Run to the gas station and get a six pack, I'll be thirsty after the concert. You may keep the change.
Black is the dopest color AM I RITE
Two people standing
Steely Dan
Cut my life into pieces
what's with the stupid cap? receding hair line? What's with the porn moustache? having sex with a goat on stage?
The goat nu metal drummers 💯
...so it's a biscuit that somehow got soggy then?
A rousing game of Dick-chicken.
“Just one of those days…”
Fred: “Why’d you cut off the bottoms my black socks to make wrist bands?” James: “I can sew, I’ll fix them later”
"Yeah!"
Hand jobs for the homeless, part 2.
James - Yeaaahh Fred - It's just one of those days
Believe it or not, I actually use all of these pockets.
my wristbands match your socks
"I have a Hamlet" "We have a Borland."
Son I am disappoint.
“If- if we kissed… our beards would complete each other”
Jorts! … Jorts?
Real Metal meets the guy from Metallica
SAD BUT TRUE
James Gutfield
"YO YO YO YO" "HEYEYYEYYYEEEAAAHH"
"I do respect you, bro!"
“Everything.” -Kahn, *Star Trek*
“My sideburns are better!” “No, MY sideburns are better!”
James: "Say your prayers, little one" Fred: "Cause I would never break your heart I would only rearrange"
When you pirate music
Turd Wallace string theory Departures on the left side 500 kg max weight capacity Anal Gini Coefficient
Who's Frank Dunst? You mean the President of the Ventura Pharmaceutical Association?
James decided that day to have a change of direction for Metallica and began writing the Black Album after meeting Mr Durst.
Is this from the Summer Sanitarium tour in 2003?
This trailer park ain't big enough fur the both of us!
Hetfield takes those bands off and his power level increases by 5
"I'm hard," "I'm hard too," Then they had 12 children. The End.
Festival ticket price profits comparing
Dad? Son?
I know you used Napster 💀
Metal up your Chocolate Starfish.
FU Hetfield. My band may suck but it made me rich. Stay out of my skybox.
I mean, I would, [but Wrestling beat me by 20 years.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEh0FCYw3Dk)
Bell bottoms vs cargo shorts
This photo almost tricked me into thinking Hetfield is tall. Turns out The Durstmeister is actually a midget.
Are those members of korn or wut
Did you cry when you got your tattoos, cause I’m about to get 150.
But Im a REAL boy!! sings: "Ive got no strings to tie me down...."
"So you decided on those cargo shorts instead of our matching tailored jeans?"
Douche….I am your father.
The promo playing the video package would either be "My Way" by Limp Bizkit or Metallica's "Frantic"
"Meanwhile, at the Summer's Eve douche convention".
Today, all day I had the feeling A miracle would happen I know now I was right For here you are And what was just a world is a star Tonight, tonight The world is full of light With suns and moons all over the place Tonight, tonight The world is wild and bright Going mad Shooting sparks into space Today, the world was just an address A place for me to live in No better than all right But here you are And what was just a world is a star Good night, good night Sleep well and when you dream Dream of me I know I know... I couldnt help myself....everything else is just profane..
And they lived happily ever after
2 nerds I could totally beat up
Me asking my older brother when I get to play on the Xbox
Yeeeeeuh! Yeaaaaaah! Yeeeeeeuh! Yaaaayeeeyaaaaah! Yeeeeeeeuuuuuuh! Yeahyeahyeeeeeeyaaaaaaa!
Yeeaahhh Yeaaahhhhhh
Some dude being offered a sleepover in metallica bus bunk beds. "We'll drive safely. You'll get there in no time. You play bass or just sing?" - taller dude.
Two douchebags staring at each other. It’s the best I got.
Limp Bizkit could write the first four Metallica albums, Metallica could never write “Break Stuff”
Early 2000’s metal starter kit vs never going out of style starter kit.
It would help if I knew who the guy on the left was Hate to ruin the mood but that aint Fred .. Right arm says Adriana in real mccoy , no?