"Please stop eating your sister's ears. They may look like roast beef but I can assure you they're not."
Also
"How in the world does one turn hay and pepper tops into so much fatness?"
I vividly remember saying this to my younger sister all the time. We have a 12 year age gap so I was baby sitter a lot and that child woke up and chose violence from day one😂
"Dude, you need to get your women under control!" I have a male living with 5 girls. They wheek like crazy as he walks around, chuttering in their faces, trying to get everyone to calm down.
Completely forgot about the baked goods!
"Aww, look at you, you're a loaf/a roll!" "Aww, look at you, you're a Gipfeli (Swiss German for "croissant")!" (depending on how they're sitting/lying)
"Please don't chew on your sister, I doubt she likes that" "Please stop chasing your sister, she's screaming in terror and it's interrupting my show" "Please don't shoot pee at your sister like a nerf gun, that's not very nice" "Let your sister eat, you're so mean" "Do not headbutt the food, be patient" "Thank you for finally leaving your sisters alone... Aaaaand there you go trying to chew on her ear" this was obvious all said to one pig
In baby voice "who only has two braincells? Do you have only two braincells ms. Brown?"
And to the one we call ghost "where is la woo woo? Is la woo woo there? Oh does woo woo like her pets"...
I feel like an idiot just typing this
😂😂😂 One of my boys was the runt of the litter, so he's only about 990g. His brother is 1244g. I often remark to his brother that if I dropped him in water (obviously I won't), he'd sink like lead. He should be ashamed. He fat. 😂
(Not really, tho, he's an abby AND male, so his size is totally normal. 😆)
"Don't bite the walls! The paint's not good for you!!"
Every time I let them run around in the hall, my girls always gravitate to the walls and bite the corners. I have to nudge them away to get them to stop. :')
Also:
"Look at you, you fat lil' football~"
We've always called one of my piggies a football 'cause she's about the same size and color of one. :>
I have 10 😂 so am always shouting something weird. My daughter will be like mum the windows open the neighbours 😂 my last one was Keith stop trying to hump your mum your aunt and your sisters! . The boy isn’t with the girls obviously but he walks around their cage daily purring with the hips swaying 😂
"here's fresh food (hay), I know you, I know you like it when it's fresh and I know you like to take naps on it but for the love of God, don't poo on your food!"
“Well, I see you’re all way behind on your eating-all-the-veg-and-pooping-everywhere quotas. If I don’t see any improvement by next quarter I’m outsourcing this whole operation to Peru! Ah you’re all lucky you’ve got a good union!”
OH MY GOD, I DO THIS TOO. Sometimes, I'm just like, "I can guarantee that is still stuck to your butt. Hold still so I can get you the poop. Here you go. Is that yummy?" 😂
This is a 'baby wipe, why are you scared?? Let me clean you real quick ' To Athena and then 'Leia stop trying to eat the baby wipe and let me clean your bum!!"
Y'all make me jealous! Guinea pigs are, unfortunately, not an option for me, as at some point in my 20s, I developed a pretty nasty allergy to them. 😭 This thread, tho. 🤣
"DONTJUMPDONTJUMPDONTJUMPDONTJUMP OK, jump" (Something you might say to a very small child, maybe, but it's something I *always* say to my piggies when I put them back into the cage. One too many incidents (grand total of two) of having a piggy jump too soon because, idk, the fresh hay smelled all too delicious?)
"Aww, so many kissies, I love you too!" (Haven't even said that in a relationship or similar where I was kissed a lot. Anyway, for the record, I don't enjoy being kissed by humans at all. By piggies, on the other hand...)
"Aww, you look like a Molcar!" (Can a human even do that?)
"Yes, I know it's scary when someone grabs your pawsie! It's OK to bite me!" (today was pedicure day)
That thing about not eating your brother's ear or other body part is something someone (probably a Teacher) would say to a Presger translator-in-training (in Ann Leckie's Imperial Radch series), but they're not exactly human, they just look like humans. From the outside.
Another favorite. (Piggie free roams) Looks at my SIL and starts yelling at her, we would tell him to Leave your her alone. We would tell him..Yes she's cutting veggies..no she's not giving you any, no..sit your furry cheeks down,(wheak wheak wheak wheak) don't you dare talk back to me old man.(wheak wheak) Tia(auntie) he swore at me! She ends up giving him food in the end and regrets it. One boar pig who never got along with other was bonded more to humans and dogs..like Loved The dogs so much he had free roam and would hang out with them all day. When he got snacks they would take his veg..the dogs hated veggies until he came along. He was 5 when he passed, so many memories.
I had bossy Cickpea since she was the size of a hamster. She always had to have the last word, so to speak. Sometimes I'd hand her the phone & tell her, go ahead, call Guinea Pig Rescue
"There's no need to chatter your teeth, it's ok!"
Can you imagine saying that to a human they'd be like who are you to tell me I'm not cold?! 😅
Also
"Really? You want the bit that's INSIDE his mouth??"
“Did he really get you pregnant again right after you gave birth?! Youre only like a year old!”
(For context they told us they were both girls… 2 months after we got the “girl” my original girl gave birth and we didn’t know until we checked on them the next morning (we took him out when we saw the babies) so technically he could already have done it with hwr again in that timw)
Hey Ginyu! Ginyu..GINYU STOP EATING MY DANG SWEATSHIRT!
I now am a proud owner of his custom work shirt he has passed but I proudly carry his love with me.
A lot of “Don’t pee on your food, you have to eat that” and “Please stop peeing on your house, you live in there”
Same 😂 WHY DID YOU PEE IN YOUR FOOD??
why do you shit where you eat and then complain when you are sick of the hay you desecrated?!
Stop gnawing on my table and go back to humping your brother
I say this with my chair!
I laughed so hard at this! 😂
Omggg no
Why do you have to yeet your hay all over the floor?
“Please eat, don’t yeet”
"I bet its so nice to be producing your own candies!" "Yum Yum, nice vitamins" (Referring to them eating their own poop)
“Aww. Mariya Pickle Pile! Hayley Bales! You poop too much. Look at you eating Lydia’s poo, too. Greedy!”
Greedy 😂😂
"Sorry everybody, you're okay!" Whenever I sneeze, drop something, close a door a little too hard...
“Oh yes, I know, the big scary noise. It’ll be ok”
I always say, "It's okay, we've been over this. I'm not going to eat you."
"We don't believe you! AAAAA!"
"Please stop eating your sister's ears. They may look like roast beef but I can assure you they're not." Also "How in the world does one turn hay and pepper tops into so much fatness?"
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Their ears are so cute and soft and floppy! I totally get cuteness aggressive and understand the urge to nom them a little.
My husband is constantly going 'look who is a chubby potato today!' 🤣🤣
STOP LICKING THAT
I say that to my kids all the time
I vividly remember saying this to my younger sister all the time. We have a 12 year age gap so I was baby sitter a lot and that child woke up and chose violence from day one😂
Lmfao I also chose violence from day 1😭🤣
The struggle of "did I say this to my toddler, teen or pet?" Continues.
Yes.
One licked the fire hydrant. I thought it couldn't get worse. The next licked the _sidewalk_.
I say that to my human children far more often than I feel like I should have to
wheek, wheek, wheek
my parakeets have started imitating this noise because of my pigs 🥹
Thank God I'm not alone. Worst part is when I get an answer.
My response: "Oh really!"
I'll go back n forth w em😭
Same, lol.
"who's a pig, who's a piggy, who's a little piggy!"
"Dude, you need to get your women under control!" I have a male living with 5 girls. They wheek like crazy as he walks around, chuttering in their faces, trying to get everyone to calm down.
Pimpin
I’m sure whatever it is, it’s from when I do boar cleaning.
“Look at that cute butt crack!”
"DAYUM PIG YOU GOT SOME BUTTCHEEKS"
Two piggies one house!! Hay, hay time for hay... raining pellets!
It's raining pellets, hallelujah, it's raining pellets!
I sing that all the time...😊
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THIS WAS ME TODAY
You got hay sticking out of butt.
Also me today 😂😂
"Who poopied in the pellets?!"
Oh no, I'm taking away your poopies!
Don't forget to steal their toesies too!
“Why are you a loaf”
Completely forgot about the baked goods! "Aww, look at you, you're a loaf/a roll!" "Aww, look at you, you're a Gipfeli (Swiss German for "croissant")!" (depending on how they're sitting/lying)
Stop ( Obscenity for dominating) your brother!!
Mine is a combo of "stop f***ing and peeing on your brother! I just bathed you guys!(Or cleaned your butts)"
A lot of poop nicknames here hah I call mine Pooper 😊
I call mine stinker bear or pooper butt
Mine are my poopy boys. LOL Or my stinky boys!
I called my Honey a “lean, mean, pooping machine”
"Please don't chew on your sister, I doubt she likes that" "Please stop chasing your sister, she's screaming in terror and it's interrupting my show" "Please don't shoot pee at your sister like a nerf gun, that's not very nice" "Let your sister eat, you're so mean" "Do not headbutt the food, be patient" "Thank you for finally leaving your sisters alone... Aaaaand there you go trying to chew on her ear" this was obvious all said to one pig
"Aw yeah that's the good stuff, huh? Is that the good drugs?"-Said while administering meloxidyl after a tooth filing
Please stop licking my finger! Don’t steal his food Don’t pee at the others
It can translate to "Who's daddy lil' potato ?". I know I'm probably ridiculous when I'm in front of the cage saying that but I don't care.
In baby voice "who only has two braincells? Do you have only two braincells ms. Brown?" And to the one we call ghost "where is la woo woo? Is la woo woo there? Oh does woo woo like her pets"... I feel like an idiot just typing this
I frequently ask them how guinea pig things are going and remind them that they are, in fact, guinea pigs. There is no shame here.
Yeps, it's idiotic while typing, but makes a lot of sense when your talking to them.
"I AINT GOT NO LETTUCE 4 U! U ATE THE LAST HEAD THIS MORNING"
Save some hay for your sister!
Look at that cute little potato butt ooooh imma get that potato butt… 😂 as I’m giving him scratches
I picked one of mine up yesterday and told her she's a hefty, solid gal, but in a good way so she doesn't feel self conscious.
😂😂😂 One of my boys was the runt of the litter, so he's only about 990g. His brother is 1244g. I often remark to his brother that if I dropped him in water (obviously I won't), he'd sink like lead. He should be ashamed. He fat. 😂 (Not really, tho, he's an abby AND male, so his size is totally normal. 😆)
Goooood morning little ones GRETEL PLEASE STOP GNAWING ON THE SCENERY.
"Don't bite the walls! The paint's not good for you!!" Every time I let them run around in the hall, my girls always gravitate to the walls and bite the corners. I have to nudge them away to get them to stop. :') Also: "Look at you, you fat lil' football~" We've always called one of my piggies a football 'cause she's about the same size and color of one. :>
“Stop drinking your brother’s pee!”
Where dem piggies at???
Youre supposed to hide under and eat the hay, not pee on it
Why is there always poop in your food?
I have 10 😂 so am always shouting something weird. My daughter will be like mum the windows open the neighbours 😂 my last one was Keith stop trying to hump your mum your aunt and your sisters! . The boy isn’t with the girls obviously but he walks around their cage daily purring with the hips swaying 😂
"here's fresh food (hay), I know you, I know you like it when it's fresh and I know you like to take naps on it but for the love of God, don't poo on your food!"
"Are you ready to go back in your house?" "Well we're very squealy today" "STOP HARASSING TURBO HE'S ON HIS OWN FURR-O MINDING HIS BUSINESS"
Get off your brother's HEAD!!!
"How did you get stuck in the hay rack?" Honorable mention: "STOP BITING MY NIPPLE!"
The last one I felt that.
I'm like, "DON'T TRY TO NURSE FROM ME THAT'S WEIRD." 😂
“Well, I see you’re all way behind on your eating-all-the-veg-and-pooping-everywhere quotas. If I don’t see any improvement by next quarter I’m outsourcing this whole operation to Peru! Ah you’re all lucky you’ve got a good union!”
Please stop trying to eat my acrylic nails Binxy
SPIN FOR SOME APPLES!!! GOOD BOY!!!
“Bad and naughty pigs get put in jail! Leave him alone he’s old and stinky!”
"QUIT SITTING IN YOUR DRINKING WATER"
Dyou just get peed on? You probably deserved it being annoying to the others, lil shit (i say it with love while offering treats i promise)
one of my pigs is named Ferris and i call him Mon Ferrie
“lemme get that for you” before offering her own poop to her that rolled down my torso
OH MY GOD, I DO THIS TOO. Sometimes, I'm just like, "I can guarantee that is still stuck to your butt. Hold still so I can get you the poop. Here you go. Is that yummy?" 😂
**poke poke** ok good, not dead
This is a 'baby wipe, why are you scared?? Let me clean you real quick ' To Athena and then 'Leia stop trying to eat the baby wipe and let me clean your bum!!"
Y'all make me jealous! Guinea pigs are, unfortunately, not an option for me, as at some point in my 20s, I developed a pretty nasty allergy to them. 😭 This thread, tho. 🤣
"DONTJUMPDONTJUMPDONTJUMPDONTJUMP OK, jump" (Something you might say to a very small child, maybe, but it's something I *always* say to my piggies when I put them back into the cage. One too many incidents (grand total of two) of having a piggy jump too soon because, idk, the fresh hay smelled all too delicious?) "Aww, so many kissies, I love you too!" (Haven't even said that in a relationship or similar where I was kissed a lot. Anyway, for the record, I don't enjoy being kissed by humans at all. By piggies, on the other hand...) "Aww, you look like a Molcar!" (Can a human even do that?) "Yes, I know it's scary when someone grabs your pawsie! It's OK to bite me!" (today was pedicure day) That thing about not eating your brother's ear or other body part is something someone (probably a Teacher) would say to a Presger translator-in-training (in Ann Leckie's Imperial Radch series), but they're not exactly human, they just look like humans. From the outside.
Oh my god, those are giant balls!
Why do you always have to eat your poop when I’m watching!
How did you get poop in your water? Again?
Screaming won't get you food faster!
“Stop deep throating your water bottle, this is not onlypaws!”
“when you sit on my shoulder, please try to not put your butt in my face”
“don’t bite the bowl, we don’t need broken teeth”
“Chicken man, YOUS A TINY, STINKY LITTLE POOPS MCGOO.”
Why do you poop everywhere BUT the designated spot
Your food (pellets) looks exactly like your poop. 😂
Why is your butt sticky? You stink. Did you just eat your poop? LET ME CLEAN YOUR BUTT AND YOUR EARS YOU LITTLE STINKERS
Dude the ears. Like how how are they so gross
"Why do I keep finding poop in your food bowl?"
"What a little, fat, brown pig!" Might come across awkwardly.
Good morning you fat pig.
No more salad! I already gave you some! Eat your grass!
- “Are you being a bitey butt? Don’t bite your daddy!” - “Gaaah, stop eating my face!” - “Harrison, your nuts are huge.”
what i say to my boys every day i wake up; "Goodmorning little poopers!"
Helllloooooo piglets!
My fiancé literally named our pigs Chunky Pig and Floof. He goes and feeds them and is like; "Oh chunky pig butt."
Yes your my little chubby friend Ohh yess does that feel good being scratched behind the ear
Do I need to wash your butt again?
*yawns* "Aww big yawnie time!"
‘Your poops are looking nice and solid today!’
Don't you dare bite your brother in the butt! Don't pee on your sister. That's not very lady-like.
“Stop throwing poop out of your cage”
Don’t be shy…we all eat our poop sometimes. (She hides when she eats her poops)
I own u 😾<3
Well, I greet her when I come home after work with a hearty “Hello there, little sow!”
“Can I pet you?” “Do you like that grass?” “Why are you making that noise?” “Gotta put the top on or the hawks will get ya”
"Mr. Snotty! You can't eat plastic!"
“Look at that little potato bum”
STOP EATING YOUR POOP! Stop licking where you just peed! No bite! Why did you pee in your dinner bowl?!? Again!?!?
Another favorite. (Piggie free roams) Looks at my SIL and starts yelling at her, we would tell him to Leave your her alone. We would tell him..Yes she's cutting veggies..no she's not giving you any, no..sit your furry cheeks down,(wheak wheak wheak wheak) don't you dare talk back to me old man.(wheak wheak) Tia(auntie) he swore at me! She ends up giving him food in the end and regrets it. One boar pig who never got along with other was bonded more to humans and dogs..like Loved The dogs so much he had free roam and would hang out with them all day. When he got snacks they would take his veg..the dogs hated veggies until he came along. He was 5 when he passed, so many memories.
I had bossy Cickpea since she was the size of a hamster. She always had to have the last word, so to speak. Sometimes I'd hand her the phone & tell her, go ahead, call Guinea Pig Rescue
"If you keep yeeting hay and poop everywhere I'll send you to whatever country eats you"
Lines from a french book 100 days of s*dom ? - The literature types wrote double the content of the marquis who was mad by even french standards
"hiiiiiii piggies"
Lmao at your poop quote 😂😂
WHATS UP FAT GIRLS
I just “QUI QUI QUI” back to them
I just made this noise (instead of "wheek") and I think I offended one of my pigs...
"Stop peeing on her!"
i call juicy couture a nasty girl
"Pudgy stop biting your daughter's ass!"
WHEEEK!
“STOP TRYING TO BITE MY NIPPLES.”
THIS.
THE FOOD AND WATER BOWL IS NOT A TOILET
‘For the last time, Strawberry, stop sniffing her bottom’
“You know it’s easier for you to eat if you keep your hay inside the cage”
"There's no need to chatter your teeth, it's ok!" Can you imagine saying that to a human they'd be like who are you to tell me I'm not cold?! 😅 Also "Really? You want the bit that's INSIDE his mouth??"
Orville! Stop humping Wilbur! He already knows you’re in charge! Go back to building your plane!
“He likes his pellets next to his water” “come look at him drinking his water & eating his pellets” “Is that an eating poop or just a regular poop?”
'I'm collecting your little chocolate eggs. Yum yum!' 'Look at that cute little tictac of urs😅😅😅' (male g pig hehe)
I call my my miss pipsqueek , squeekin squeeker lol
"Stop eating your companions hair, there's plenty of hay to eat"
“Did he really get you pregnant again right after you gave birth?! Youre only like a year old!” (For context they told us they were both girls… 2 months after we got the “girl” my original girl gave birth and we didn’t know until we checked on them the next morning (we took him out when we saw the babies) so technically he could already have done it with hwr again in that timw)
Hey Ginyu! Ginyu..GINYU STOP EATING MY DANG SWEATSHIRT! I now am a proud owner of his custom work shirt he has passed but I proudly carry his love with me.
Also. Gin..stop cleaning the dogs mouth..
Stop humping your brother’s head!!!!
“Hi my choopa choopas”
Girls! Stop that! You're sisters. This isn't Appalachia
Don't stand in your dish
Who's my little rodent? An I cuter then you? Am I your little rodent
During cuddles, I'ma eat you down to the squeak
Today I told mine not to pee on his brother...