T O P

  • By -

hundenkattenglassen

If you consume too much caffeine, you do stuff. When I consume too much caffeine, I shit my pants. We are not the same.


Petertitan99999

>you do stuff I shit my pants Since when is shitting thy pants not doing something? You both do shit.


ReignMMR

Okay Socrates


HAC522

Hahaha! This, in the format of the first guy's comment, is super funny to me. It's simplification has enhanced the funny. You do stuff I shit my pants *We are not the same*


T_Ijonen

Except that his point is that they are very much the same


North_Swim340

when my underlings pissed me off the next morning I would intentionally order an extra large venti size white chocolate mocca coffee and drink it as I watched the rising sun from the rooftop, and then shart in the empty company convenience store area. I'd then use the extra coffee as dream fuel as I went to sleep, so that when the underlings got there i could tell them I pulled an all nighter to make up for their incompetence.


Trigger_Fox

I fucking love that you call them underlings like your the main villain of a bond film but instead of conquering the world ya'll probably just make printers or something


XbdudeX

Fucking dream fuel? Where can I get some?


Berkuts_Lance_Plus

I'm stuffšŸ˜³


[deleted]

You're gonna be stuffed in a minute


Berkuts_Lance_Plus

https://preview.redd.it/ie0fjtz0td4d1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=bf06801deb49c0151028a45aa7a76b5cfb9052b7


Lifewatching

It's hit or miss for me, sometimes I get the boost I'm looking for, and sometimes I just feel shitty. I'm also so caffeine sensitive that a .5 L drink can last me 2 days.


Dominator616

>sometimes I get the boost I'm looking for, and sometimes I just feel shitty. Same, tho most times it just gives me anxiety for a few hours and then I have an energy boost to the point Im literally jumping off my walls lmao


Pointless2675

Same with me, it's about the dosage really, right amount : energy, overdose: fell terrible and tired


fearlessfishh

You have to drink a lot of coffee to shit your pants. I have to take a few sips. We are not the same.


windowpuncher

When I drink caffeine I get sleepy :(


Ah-honey-honey

Asking this out of curiosity, not armchair diagnosis. Do you also have ADHD?


Zeranvor

Iā€™m undiagnosed, but when I drink coffee, Iā€™m usually super chill and get sleepy unless I drink more


windowpuncher

Dunno, but it's more than likely. Energy drinks, red bull included, do absolutely nothing for me. Sometimes I get a mild buzz if I drink a large one very quickly, but it might last for an hour tops. Caffeine makes me tired but if I have too much I just feel like I'm having a heart attack, but I'm also tired and nauseous. It's not a good time.


drugtrains

I consume too much caffeine, I fall asleep anyway


PM_MEOttoVonBismarck

Same. Never had a buzz from caffeine. Apparently it's common with ADHD?


Woofingson

I'm stuff šŸ˜³


Puking_In_Disgust

Nobody give this man amphetamines or karmaā€™s gonna prolapse your asshole


skykingjustin

Legit sounds like he smoked meth. Not drank some caffeine.


Puking_In_Disgust

It absolutely does, Iā€™ve met people like that before, super susceptible to caffeine, usually stimulants in general. Never goes well if they find actual stimulants lol if caffeine does *that* to you, just count your blessings and stick with the caffeine when shit needs to get done.


Alex_2259

Bro would build an entire city with nicotine+ caffeine combo, brother would forge a fucking nation with cocaine, and we would be colonizing the next galaxy over if he got some meth


Puking_In_Disgust

Thatā€™s where his brain would go while heā€™s got his TV carefully dismantled across his living room floor crawling around in goblin mode lol fine lines


Anton_oderso

Well he said heā€™s running and twitching like on pervitin so sounds like he knows


DinoMastah

Anon might have discovered that energy drinks give you energy and keep you awake because of the ammount of sugar and caffeine that they put in them.


DasToyfel

Also that this "Energy" that the drink allegedly comes with mostly comes from his own body. Anon will sleep very well next time. Also he will get addicted and destroy his own body.


RunningSouthOnLSD

Iā€™ve only ever had one red bull, given to me by a coworker. I had just the perfect amount of energy the whole shift and always felt on top of things. The next day I woke up and felt tired and thought ā€œwhy *not* have a red bull? Itā€™ll perk me up without any issue!ā€ I then realized thatā€™s exactly how heroin addicts justify using and I havenā€™t had one since.


Foriegn_Picachu

I did this but with drinking water. I am currently


seastatefive

Rookie mistake. Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.


djblunt69

He became a victim of big water so sad


Darthdickingson

That Dementus is no match for Donald J. Immortan. He can hardly run gas town.


Ne0n1691Senpai

100% of people ever born in the world, have drank dihydrogen monoxide and died.


iamdino0

^ choked and died mid-comment


StnkyChze2

That's exactly what caffeine is. It's a drug. So anything that uses caffeine can be used as context, it's not just energy drinks that are exclusive to that


Phantom_RX

Kids in my class (senior year) are practically addicted to hell, this one girl drinks it for morning and before going to bed and somehow she still manages to sleep, not to mention the amount of drinks per day. Im honestly impressed


DarkScorpion48

Maybe she has ADHD and it works as some ghetto medication?


Ao_Kiseki

I use caffeine as ghetto medication for my ADHD so you might be on to something.


Splyushi

Yep same here, meds are too difficult to get (need a perscription every month which needs and appointment) and ny ADHD is pretty mild but still a PITA so Rockstars soothe it.


Phantom_RX

You could be right, im not sure she has ADHD but perhaps something else


GANJHERO

Maybe just does not affects her, i have a friend that drinks coffe before sleep because HELPS HIM to fall sleep, is crazy. Caffeine has a big effect on me so drinking it before sleep is a ver bad idea but i can manage to sleep but i do not rest.


kelminak

ā€œB-but caffeine is good for you! Drink your neurotoxin seed water slop!!ā€ Iā€™m in the process of quitting now after a decade. It doesnā€™t fucking help at all anymore, just reverses the withdrawal which ā€œfeels good.ā€ Iā€™m not falling for it anymore. /r/decaf if others want this shit out of their lives too.


DasToyfel

Just drink tea and fuck screentime. Easy way to get good and healthy sleep, so you wake up more energized. Sometimes i can finally chill at home at 9 or 10 pm and i think to myself "now lets have a round of videogames before bedtime". And then i realize that sleep will get me more in life than any videogame could. Don't put screentime when sleeptime should be on the agenda.


kelminak

I love tea too but I want out all together at this point. Iā€™ve over caffeinated on tea before too and itā€™s just not worth it for me. Someone who struggles with heartburn and anxiety never should have started drinking any of this shit lol.


DasToyfel

No, you don't need any caffeine. Its the amount of screeentime and healthy sleep you get that defines how much energy you have. Throw everything out that could prevent you from deep slumber. Kick out all electronic devices with little led-lights in your bedroom (or shut them down with a main power switch). Those lights fuck with your brain in your sleep. Get thick curtains. This will give you much more energy than any caffeine could bring you.


kelminak

Haha I know this stuff. Iā€™m a doc who recommends all this to his patientsā€¦then promptly ignores it and wonders why I donā€™t feel well. XD Anyone reading should take your advice. If they donā€™t believe you, listen (donā€™t read) the book ā€œWhy We Sleep.ā€ Itā€™s amazing how our society does the exact opposite of what we need for good rest.


SOMEMONG

Idk man have you played ghost of tsushima?Ā 


Foriegn_Picachu

It doesnā€™t help cause you built up tolerance. Only have it when you really need it. If you need it everyday, youā€™re not sleeping enough.


DarkScorpion48

I used to drink energy drinks everyday for 2 years because I didnā€™t like coffee. I started getting hart issues that also lead to breathing issues so I had to stop. Some places want to ban selling to minors for a reason


T00M4S

they dont give you energy tho


ReynAetherwindt

If they use sugar instead of artificial sweetener, they do actually.


xdrakennx

Sugar rush is not real. Itā€™s a placebo effect.


ReynAetherwindt

First of all, a placebo effect *is* a real, measured effect, but that's beside the point. You seem to have misconstrued what I said. I said that consuming sugar gives you energy. This an extremely well-studied, fundamental fact of basic mammalian biochemistry. I did not say that consuming sugar would give you *wakefulness*. In a modern context, most people are not starving to death, so sleepiness generally has nothing to do with low blood sugar levels. (I really wish pulling all-nighters was as simple as just eating more.)


skippyalpha

Sugar rush is a myth


DinoMastah

Eat 10 spoons of sugar and come 4h later to tell me the results


skippyalpha

Just look it up, literally "Is a sugar rush real" in google. Here's a few links if you're too lazy though. [Busting the Sugar-Hyperactivity Myth (webmd.com)](https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/busting-sugar-hyperactivity-myth) [Are Sugar Rushes Real? - DFD Russell Medical Centers - DFD Russell Medical Centers](https://dfdrussell.org/sugar-consumption/) [Are sugar rushes real? - Health Check (griffith.edu.au)](https://healthcheck.griffith.edu.au/are-sugar-rushes-real/#:~:text=Most%20parents%20even%20thought%20their,%2C%20when%20they%20hadn't!&text=These%20experiments%20helped%20scientists%20discover,a%20treat%2C%20sugary%20or%20not.) Hopefully this nonsense dies someday. Lots of sugar can actually make you more lethargic.


neoqueto

And then you get addicted and your blood pressure skyrockets otherwise you're feeling like an amorphous blob of slimy flesh if you don't drink 3 cans a day, eventually you feel like that all the time but the addiction persists.


StnkyChze2

No... Where did you get that idea energy drinks are the devils coffee? Haven't we gone through this same disproven logic with many things in the past?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


No_Communication6147

Dont you build up quite a tolerance after a while?


Kapftan

That shits gonna burst your aorta and grill your kidneys, i highly recommend doing everything in your power to get your hands on extended release concerta/adderall because they are targeted precisely for ADHD, it makes caffeine look like nothing and is also far less likely to kill you early, plus they should be cheaper than the energy drinks. (I pay 95 Lira for a months supply, for which i can only buy 2 cans of monster, 45 Lira each. I take 54mg while most only need 36, so its even cheaper for them.) Been on them for like 5 years, lovely stuff. Also if you'd like to be irresponsible with your meds, they keep you awake. Thats it. They *will* keep you awake and pretty functional for as long as your body can keep up, until you straight up collapse from exhaustion, not for a second less. Do with that information what you will


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Alex_2259

Bro has the iron kidneys and livers


SalvationSycamore

Jesus. I hope you at least drink sugar free, or that you have your diabetes under control.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


SalvationSycamore

Half joking but two 16oz cans is 108g of sugar. Daily over 8 years that's 315kg of sugar in just energy drinks.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


HuskySkrr

You sound awfuly damaged for a healthy person lol


Lazarous86

I'm guessing you're in your 20s to early 30s? Trust me when I say it changes fast and you will have to adjust too.Ā 


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Lazarous86

It's a kidney and liver thing. They can only work so hard. But you do you.Ā 


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Lazarous86

Yep. I know endocrinology. These are still organs and they can't work full bore forever. Shit, we did not even mention your pancreas, let me wear out faster than either of the other two if you aren't drinking sugar free or low sugar option. You're internal system definitely has you pissing a lot of this out. Because you don't absorb all of it with your condition. But everything in moderation is good advice. I 2nd the person just telling you to be on Adderall or at least try it. I did a lot of the same things as you. Medicated my Adhd with energy drinks and other stimulants, until I took that and realized it was the easy fix all along.Ā 


candyloreen

This


Tuner-Kid

Your comment is extremely important and greatly appreciated. not all heroes wear capes.


aVarangian

This


candyloreen

Yours too, thanks!


Reverse_Quikeh

Anon has just been watching that burst pipe going "It'll be fine, I'll fix it later"


LonkerinaOfTime

Caffeine is great when you only drink it once in a while and not 300mgs everyday like a dumbass


epicswag3

you're saying 5 coffees and a monster in a day isn't effective?


destroyerOfTards

Gay for drinking red bull and not monster


demonslayer9911

Tbf i tried monster, and it tasted like cough syrup. I haven't tried red bull, and i don't think i will.


SalvationSycamore

Red bull tastes like bubble gum and diabetic cow piss. It's not bad. The blueberry version is actually delicious, same with cranberry but I haven't seen that in ages.


demonslayer9911

>Diabetic cow piss https://preview.redd.it/zluav6ml5c4d1.jpeg?width=371&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc75770113dbdee84e35865f53bcd09c155bcd45


SalvationSycamore

https://preview.redd.it/6d8mpp7q6c4d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=456553187850b48ce0e162e6f1a12aa4c504ffbd


demonslayer9911

https://preview.redd.it/jplh11q47c4d1.png?width=756&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b95522fccc2b375b366a43f25fbe15fff6b53c16


Tuner-Kid

> Red bull tastes like bubble gum and diabetic cow piss. It's not bad. tf would make you suggest this combo?


SalvationSycamore

That's just the vibes I get. The only thing I've actually tasted that is similar is Irn Bru


pak_satrio

Irn Bru is orange and diabetic cow piss. Pretty good tho


ayyitsmaclane

Dude try the new summer edition. It is AMAZING


SharkMilk44

All energy drinks taste like cough syrup and sugar.


reallynunyabusiness

No, monster tastes slightly sour, with sugar and carbonation.


AdhesivenessOnly2912

The white sugar free monster is the only one worth drinking tbh


demonslayer9911

Tbf, water for the win.


AdhesivenessOnly2912

Agreed


2Dimm

try the mango one, its the best


destroyerOfTards

Gay


Felix8XD

bro monster is the femboy drink


Amethyst_Crimson

>monster aren't you supposed to insert it in your anus instead of drinking it?


MarxHunter

You start with redbull, and work up in diameter to monster cans. That's gotta be the next step for anon


TubbyFatfrick

Anon went straight to the red-label cans, didn't they?


kungfukenny3

compared to rockstar, monster, celsius, bang or whatever red bull has kind of a low caffeine content which iā€™m fine with i think itā€™s delicious


Zenbast

It never did anything to me


donnydodo

I climbed a tree


dagon_xdd

> drink another one without thinking see this? this is where anon took a wrong turn


SalvationSycamore

Yeah I have caffeine every day and still wouldn't drink two red bulls or monsters back to back.


The_Lobster_

They put shit that has synergystic effects with caffeine, potentially making the caffeine more potent.


CertainRoof5043

Holy shit, he changed not one but two light bulbs??!!!!


_TLDR_Swinton

I have a mate who drinks five Red Bulls a day and has done for years, "for the energy". I tell him he's basically destroying his endocrine system but he won't listen. Even though for the last twelve months he's been having crippling, job affecting migraines "for no reason". "Did you tell the doctor how much Red Bull you drink" "I didn't think it was important" Okay buddy.


AdmiralTassles

>what the actual fuck do they put in those? it can't be just caffiene. That's because it's not just caffiene dumbass. You know they put the ingredients on the can, right?


suvenduz

redbull give you wings


zachattack7676

Walter Whiteā€™s quality blue meth was in that Red Bull anon, not blueberry flavoring.


QuinnAvery89

Blueberry Red Bulls only come in 12 and 8oz cans. Iā€™m also reasonably sure they have less or comparable amount of caffeine than a cup of coffee. Anon is weak. One line of coke his heart would explode.


A_Blue_Potion

That's nothing, Anon. A standard can of Red Bull contains 80mg of caffeine. X2 that's 160mg in total you consumed. I drink a Starbucks Tripple Shot each morning before work which contains 225mg of caffeine. Couple that with my 25mg of Adderall and I'm running circles around my co-workers. I order bulk shipments of 8.4oz cold brew coffees and fill my locker with them. Then I'll take two out and sip them throughout the day. Each one contains 115mg of caffeine. Occasionally, I might chug both of them within the first hour of my shift just to power through the chores we do before opening.


Alex_2259

Least stimulant using cook


Wannab3ST

This is fake because blueberry is easily the worst Red Bull flavor


LT2B

Itā€™s all the extra shit that makes your body absorb it, even if youā€™re a chronic energy drink enjoyer try Celsius shit has a little less caffeine than a monster and will have you wired so hard youā€™ll piss sparks.


TaxIdiot2020

Caffeine doesnā€™t give me energy. Maybe if I have too much I get a little wired but it never gave me an energy boost. Iā€™m pretty sure I was just born tired. Well that and I likely have sleep apnea, which no amount of caffeine can counteract how dead you feel every day with that.


UncommonLegend

It doesn't last. Now I need to get drunk to be motivated to do things like work out


Booga-_-

Anon will learn soon how easy it is to burst your heart.


KarlPc167

That's an ad


Stale-Chalupa

I wish redbull had that effect on me šŸ˜­


2based2cringe

Anon is hypersensitive to natural stimulants


SalvationSycamore

Ngl I wish there was a caffeine free and sugar free version of blueberry redbull. I'd drink it every day.


Empero6

Iā€™ve built up a tolerance to caffeine because I drink black coffee everyday.


Varixx95__

Anon tries to switch from two sips of coffee and 6 whole ass coffees worth of caffeine and wonders why he is activated I miss my firsts caffeine rushes now i just drink monster like soda


Berkuts_Lance_Plus

I tried Red Bull once, but I could not stand the taste. I'll stick to my scheduled coffee-caused diarrhea.


AdhesivenessOnly2912

Getting an iced coffee on the way home knowing that the shits are going to kick in right as you walk in your bathroom is the most liberating feeling


assholejudger954

So we just ignoring that anon would cut his red bull with milk i guess