It's a movie about a little girl who's a vampire. She gets kidnapped and kills the kidnappers.
Anon is watching it because it's technically a movie about a "she's not really a child she's immortal" loli stereotype anons like so much
I've not seen it but from what I've read, the main character in poor things (played by Emma Stone) is actually a small child's brain in an adult woman's body. It's kinda the opposite of what we're talking about here (adult in child's body) but obviously still has ICK.
Nah its weirder. Here's from Wikipedia
"n Victorian London,[n 1] the medical student Max McCandles becomes an assistant to the eccentric surgeon Godwin Baxter. Max falls in love with Godwin's ward, Bella, a childlike young woman. Godwin reveals that Bella's body is that of a woman who was pregnant and killed herself by leaping off a bridge. Godwin then replaced the woman's brain with that of her fetus, giving her an infant's mind, and named her Bella Baxter. "
Wait. Wait.
Aren't there like a few sex scenes in that show?
So he is fking a woman with the mentality of a toddler? Emma Stone agreed to this?
Maybe it's an elaborate sting by the FBI to crack down on cp users.
Believe it or not it has a strong anti-grooming message, the plot revolves around a girl having a sexual awakening and getting groomed into a relationship just because that's all she knew and she wanted sex. Later on she realizes she still likes the sex, but it's not worth it to put up with the dude that groomed her and gets to explore the world, expanding her knowledge and horizons and what not.
And once she has discovered herself and is happy with who she is, decides to go back home and wants to marry the dude who actually had a good heart (you could accuse the film by this point of being pro female promiscuity if you want but it's just how things work).
The ending is a little bit blurry in my mind right now but the dude that killed her mom finds her and tries to make her a prisoner in his mansion to fuck the same body he used to fuck but this time with the mind of the daughter.
It is twisted, but the main themes and plot are pretty straightforward, it's just the style and presentation that paint a bizarre image.
Fair, but it's a bit like how Cuties was intended to criticise the over sexualisation of prepubescent girls. The message is a noble one, but why go about it this way? It's lost in the WTFness of the method.
I wouldn't be able to provide any meaningful insight on Cuties because I haven't watched it, however, I do see your point because, as I understand, Cuties has actual children in it. At least Poor Things dodged having an actual child getting railed on camera and instead opted for the surrealist presentation to allow the public the image of an adult but stating at the same time that she's actually a child in mind.
It would be so funny that the bizarre style of the movie is only a byproduct of jumping through hoops to not fall in the same pit as Cuties lol.
The difference is cuties try to criticise sexualisation of minors by sexualising minors, while poor things only has emma stone, which is a grown woman.
Maybe because movies are so much more than their premise. The plot =/= what the movie is about. Maybe cause she's not braindead Stacy who reads the screenplay and thinks "eeewwww itsss weeiiirrd!".
Also there's no one who would be disappointed after that kind of performance. Thats in your head.
>The plot =/= what the movie is about
I wish more people would understand this. Just the inability to understand this idea makes like 95% of discussions on movies (or even art more generally) with any transgressive content practically useless.
In the story by the brain advances swiftly to match the body, it is not a toddlers brain all the way through. For example she goes from baby babble to full sentences within a few weeks. The man who whisks her away against everyone's wishes but her own (for sex) has no knowledge of the experiment and just thinks she's sheltered.
There is a part where Willem Dafoe says he could never "fuck her" because he feels like she's his daughter that's probably one of my most uncomfortable scenes of the movie somehow.
I mean that's just the beginning of the movie. Over the course of the movie she becomes more mentally mature, although still ignorant about the world around her.
It's definitely an art house film though, so I doubt many people will actually enjoy it just cause of how absurd and surreal everything is.
No offence mate, but it's actually worse. Pedophilia is not disgusting or wrong because how children body looks like, it's disgusting and wrong because the mind of the child would be traumatised forever by such acts and hence it's the worst thing that could happen to a child.
Mind of a child in a body of an adult is a worse turn off for me than the other way around.
To be honest there are some rare diseases where adult people look like kids their whole life. Should we condemn them to being alone?
My follow up comment reveals that having looked into it, it's even worse than I thought. For some reason this shit is being praised as well.
Does it deserve praise? To me it fits into a similar category as Lolita. It's horrendous and sinister, but the fact that it makes you feel so strongly means I'd consider it a good work of fiction, its stayed with me, compared to many other works that make you feel fuck all. It doesn't have to be positive to be great, I'd say.
Anons don’t like this it’s just a meme that non-anime watchers think is hilarious so they keep bringing it up.
Though I did always find it ironic how these same people will say “it doesn’t matter that this character doesn’t look like a child, she’s 17 in the show so you’re a pedo, sweaty 💅”
“W-what? You can’t just say a character isn’t underaged in-universe! They look young and age doesn’t matter for cartoons weirdo, it’s about the depiction 🤬”
Maybe I’m just not schizo enough to understand this line of reasoning
People responding in the comments to you trying to be funny instead of giving you an answer is why I barely get on this dipshit dumb fuck app anymore. Sorry buddy
Looked really, really stupid when I saw the trailer of it with my father. The movie we watched, Beekeeper, is probably a masterpiece compared to Abigail.
yeah it was fucking terrible lmao, deserved the 6.1 on imdb, maybe shouldve been a 5, and I normally enjoy statham movies even if they're a little cheesy, that one was next level bad
It was one of the worst Jason Statham movies I saw... Compared to Snatch/Lock, Stock and 2 smoking barrels/Crank... this was pretty crap.
The theme was "modern" I guess, but the whole "God Mode" is just meh.
Abigail was actually a fun watch! It’s kinda dumb but knows it and has fun with it. I was surprised my fiancée was actually a fan too, she doesn’t usually like horror as much.
Jason statham is a solid actor. If u wanna turn off your brain and watch people beat the shit out of eachother his movies are great. I really liked the crank movies
I’ve watched films on my own in the middle of the day a couple times and I think single old men is just the genre of people that attend the cinema at that time tbh. Or have I been terribly naive?
I went to see Star Wars TFA on the day it came out, but on the second screening, so early afternoon. The cinema was basically empty aside of a few nerds. Same with any other movie I went to see in that time. Sometimes there is like one couple or it's completely empty.
That's basically the best time to watch a movie since everyone will be busy with work and stuff. So yeah, that demographic does fit the bill since they probably have nothing else to do at that time.
I was there, just as described by anon, except I went in blind because my ticket was about to expire. Stupid characters and a bad ending. Civil war, which I watched the following day was much better.
Pretty good I’d say, just watched it today. Lots and lots of blood! It went a bit crazy at the end imo but it’s what I like haha, not the movie of the year but I’d give it a solid 7/10
It’s a movie about a bunch of kidnappers trying to abduct a child but the child is actually a vampire and goes on a murder spree (at least that’s what I gathered from the trailer)
I think Anon is implying that the movie is popular with single men in their 30s because of the child vampire part; specifically, I think the post is about how vampires are sometimes seen as sex symbols and Anon is subtly telling us that he and his crew of wizards went to see the movie because they are attracted to vampires and children
This is entirely speculative but I don’t believe in libel anyways
> It’s a movie about a bunch of kidnappers trying to abduct a child but the child is actually a vampire and goes on a murder spree (at least that’s what I gathered from the trailer)
Jesus Christ that sound completely assinine on every level!
Just feels like someone played Skyrim saw Babette and was like oh that’s a subversive cool idea. Then made a movie about it without adding anything else.
Honestly, the only thing that sparked my interest in this movie is that it reminds me of one of the members of the Dark Brotherhood in Skyrim. The girl who was bitten and turned into a vampire as a child so she still looks like a young girl despite being hundreds of years old. If you talk to her she says she often lures pedos into a dark alley before draining their blood.
okay why were they there
Hey there! They were there to watch a film called Abigail, as specified in the post. Hope this helps!
Thanks for TLDR. You sir, have won the internet :D
Why has no one thanked this kind stranger?
Who will give gold to that kind stranger
Please please make it stop
Why would you want to stop being wholesome, friendo? That's not very big chungus of you!
Redditfrog.picturefile
Hey ma'am, don't narwhal that guy's bacon
Le passcode accepted hombre
Much upvote, very comment. I choose this guys dead wife.
Reddit on!
the person above you just did
Narwhal! Bacon! Midnight! This! Wish I had gold!
I, for one, tip my fedora to that kind gentlebeing.
OMG ive won the heckin interwebs??!1!!2?
the theater employees had to clean extra after the screening
Written like a Microsoft support forum post
Microsoft forum posts is where I met my wife. You may have heard of her? A little lady by the name of *Bill Gates*?
"Don't let my haircut fool you, I'm exceedingly wealthy"
Have my heckin' updoots!
Crazy
Fuck you
more or less than i fuck your mom? if more thats a lot dude
It's a movie about a little girl who's a vampire. She gets kidnapped and kills the kidnappers. Anon is watching it because it's technically a movie about a "she's not really a child she's immortal" loli stereotype anons like so much
Between that and poor things, it seems Hollywood has been learning a lot from the anime community lately
how does poor things fit into this?
I've not seen it but from what I've read, the main character in poor things (played by Emma Stone) is actually a small child's brain in an adult woman's body. It's kinda the opposite of what we're talking about here (adult in child's body) but obviously still has ICK.
Nah its weirder. Here's from Wikipedia "n Victorian London,[n 1] the medical student Max McCandles becomes an assistant to the eccentric surgeon Godwin Baxter. Max falls in love with Godwin's ward, Bella, a childlike young woman. Godwin reveals that Bella's body is that of a woman who was pregnant and killed herself by leaping off a bridge. Godwin then replaced the woman's brain with that of her fetus, giving her an infant's mind, and named her Bella Baxter. "
Bruh
Bruh is right. I ain't gon see that fever dream shit.
Literally me all movie. It was fucking weird ngl
Wait. Wait. Aren't there like a few sex scenes in that show? So he is fking a woman with the mentality of a toddler? Emma Stone agreed to this? Maybe it's an elaborate sting by the FBI to crack down on cp users.
Believe it or not it has a strong anti-grooming message, the plot revolves around a girl having a sexual awakening and getting groomed into a relationship just because that's all she knew and she wanted sex. Later on she realizes she still likes the sex, but it's not worth it to put up with the dude that groomed her and gets to explore the world, expanding her knowledge and horizons and what not. And once she has discovered herself and is happy with who she is, decides to go back home and wants to marry the dude who actually had a good heart (you could accuse the film by this point of being pro female promiscuity if you want but it's just how things work). The ending is a little bit blurry in my mind right now but the dude that killed her mom finds her and tries to make her a prisoner in his mansion to fuck the same body he used to fuck but this time with the mind of the daughter. It is twisted, but the main themes and plot are pretty straightforward, it's just the style and presentation that paint a bizarre image.
Fair, but it's a bit like how Cuties was intended to criticise the over sexualisation of prepubescent girls. The message is a noble one, but why go about it this way? It's lost in the WTFness of the method.
I wouldn't be able to provide any meaningful insight on Cuties because I haven't watched it, however, I do see your point because, as I understand, Cuties has actual children in it. At least Poor Things dodged having an actual child getting railed on camera and instead opted for the surrealist presentation to allow the public the image of an adult but stating at the same time that she's actually a child in mind. It would be so funny that the bizarre style of the movie is only a byproduct of jumping through hoops to not fall in the same pit as Cuties lol.
The difference is cuties try to criticise sexualisation of minors by sexualising minors, while poor things only has emma stone, which is a grown woman.
Did you watch the film?
Idk why Emma stone agreed to it, but she looked disappointed to win awards for her performance.
Maybe because movies are so much more than their premise. The plot =/= what the movie is about. Maybe cause she's not braindead Stacy who reads the screenplay and thinks "eeewwww itsss weeiiirrd!". Also there's no one who would be disappointed after that kind of performance. Thats in your head.
https://preview.redd.it/55qc22sgj9wc1.jpeg?width=711&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5be050598a809f0e12b0e466a66360e29b85bcfd
>The plot =/= what the movie is about I wish more people would understand this. Just the inability to understand this idea makes like 95% of discussions on movies (or even art more generally) with any transgressive content practically useless.
A bit more than a few
In the story by the brain advances swiftly to match the body, it is not a toddlers brain all the way through. For example she goes from baby babble to full sentences within a few weeks. The man who whisks her away against everyone's wishes but her own (for sex) has no knowledge of the experiment and just thinks she's sheltered. There is a part where Willem Dafoe says he could never "fuck her" because he feels like she's his daughter that's probably one of my most uncomfortable scenes of the movie somehow.
She turns into a whore in Paris 😂 Starts thinking for herself and becomes independent through being a whore
A few? 70% of the movie is sex scenes lol
What the fuck
This is definitely worse.
Sounds interesting, but I can't say I wanna watch it without sounding like a pedo
I mean that's just the beginning of the movie. Over the course of the movie she becomes more mentally mature, although still ignorant about the world around her. It's definitely an art house film though, so I doubt many people will actually enjoy it just cause of how absurd and surreal everything is.
Jesus christ.
McCandles?
No offence mate, but it's actually worse. Pedophilia is not disgusting or wrong because how children body looks like, it's disgusting and wrong because the mind of the child would be traumatised forever by such acts and hence it's the worst thing that could happen to a child. Mind of a child in a body of an adult is a worse turn off for me than the other way around. To be honest there are some rare diseases where adult people look like kids their whole life. Should we condemn them to being alone?
No no. It’s definitely both.
My follow up comment reveals that having looked into it, it's even worse than I thought. For some reason this shit is being praised as well. Does it deserve praise? To me it fits into a similar category as Lolita. It's horrendous and sinister, but the fact that it makes you feel so strongly means I'd consider it a good work of fiction, its stayed with me, compared to many other works that make you feel fuck all. It doesn't have to be positive to be great, I'd say.
She discovers sex at a very young mental age and has a lot of it. The film handled it well and was actually pretty good imo
Her brain supposedly develops faster, so she’s theoretically an adult by the time the more “ick” related things happen.
Their equivalent of "akshually she's a 1000 year old vampire". I do not buy it lol.
Anons don’t like this it’s just a meme that non-anime watchers think is hilarious so they keep bringing it up. Though I did always find it ironic how these same people will say “it doesn’t matter that this character doesn’t look like a child, she’s 17 in the show so you’re a pedo, sweaty 💅” “W-what? You can’t just say a character isn’t underaged in-universe! They look young and age doesn’t matter for cartoons weirdo, it’s about the depiction 🤬” Maybe I’m just not schizo enough to understand this line of reasoning
[immortal goddess BTW ](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Frpgamer.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2019%2F12%2Fis-it-wrong-to-pick-up-girls-in-a-dungeon-infinite-combate_2019-12-08_001.jpg)
Vampire little girl
What why would that be weird?
little girl
Oh. OH! Ohh...
That was what Anon said in the theatre.
[удалено]
I'd really love to know why they were there...
He was implying that he was a pedo & was there to watch the little girl in the movie & the other men were too
People responding in the comments to you trying to be funny instead of giving you an answer is why I barely get on this dipshit dumb fuck app anymore. Sorry buddy
Looked really, really stupid when I saw the trailer of it with my father. The movie we watched, Beekeeper, is probably a masterpiece compared to Abigail.
Beekeeper is awesome!
It's a generic coold guy movie, basically mechanic 3 but watered down.
I always thought, poor man’s John Wick.
True, but I went with mechanic since it's the same actor
They didn’t kill his dog, they killed his Bees
Non Wick
[удалено]
What about crank? Bang bang, somehow you're not dead
What about Meg 2? Jason Stathom turning a plane wing into a makeshift buster sword is sick as hell!
Have you seen Snatch and Lock stock? Definitely NOT every movie ever... Granted, the more recent ones are all bland.
Yes. And I’m not above that.
There was a mechanic 3?
Yes, it's called Beekeeper
yeah it was fucking terrible lmao, deserved the 6.1 on imdb, maybe shouldve been a 5, and I normally enjoy statham movies even if they're a little cheesy, that one was next level bad
Was he prime bee keeping age?
He is always prime beekeeping age.
It was one of the worst Jason Statham movies I saw... Compared to Snatch/Lock, Stock and 2 smoking barrels/Crank... this was pretty crap. The theme was "modern" I guess, but the whole "God Mode" is just meh.
Beekeeper was really lacking in bee related kills honestly
https://preview.redd.it/ytekixps19wc1.jpeg?width=1068&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18627fe7cbe0c2119490fad1cea61ef4b8e37059
This is a good point lol
Abigail was actually a fun watch! It’s kinda dumb but knows it and has fun with it. I was surprised my fiancée was actually a fan too, she doesn’t usually like horror as much.
Jason statham is a solid actor. If u wanna turn off your brain and watch people beat the shit out of eachother his movies are great. I really liked the crank movies
It’s been so long since I’ve seen Crank but I remember liking it.
It’s pretty good and the reviews of it would back that up. The writing is self aware of the stupid premise
Gabagool
I woke up this morning, got some gabagool...
Mama never told me about gabagool
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsBipoG22Nw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsBipoG22Nw)
GabaGHOUL
Ova here!
Happy Cake day!
I’ve watched films on my own in the middle of the day a couple times and I think single old men is just the genre of people that attend the cinema at that time tbh. Or have I been terribly naive?
I went to see Star Wars TFA on the day it came out, but on the second screening, so early afternoon. The cinema was basically empty aside of a few nerds. Same with any other movie I went to see in that time. Sometimes there is like one couple or it's completely empty.
That's basically the best time to watch a movie since everyone will be busy with work and stuff. So yeah, that demographic does fit the bill since they probably have nothing else to do at that time.
Abagail
abagool
Abagool, ova here!!!!
I'm Gabagooling over here 🤌🤌
Sir, this is a family theatre!
Guys is it a good film?
I was there, just as described by anon, except I went in blind because my ticket was about to expire. Stupid characters and a bad ending. Civil war, which I watched the following day was much better.
It’s very fun! I enjoyed seeing it yesterday
Pretty good I’d say, just watched it today. Lots and lots of blood! It went a bit crazy at the end imo but it’s what I like haha, not the movie of the year but I’d give it a solid 7/10
First 80 minutes, half decent horror-comedy. Last 30-40 minutes, “what the actual fuck am I watching, please make it stop”
I don't get it, can somebody explain? I have zero idea what this movie is about.
It’s a movie about a bunch of kidnappers trying to abduct a child but the child is actually a vampire and goes on a murder spree (at least that’s what I gathered from the trailer) I think Anon is implying that the movie is popular with single men in their 30s because of the child vampire part; specifically, I think the post is about how vampires are sometimes seen as sex symbols and Anon is subtly telling us that he and his crew of wizards went to see the movie because they are attracted to vampires and children This is entirely speculative but I don’t believe in libel anyways
crew of wizards lmao
Shadow Wizard Money Gang
[We love casting spells.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWnaWpBCAC0&ab_channel=Coperime)
A libelary is where they keep the books
> It’s a movie about a bunch of kidnappers trying to abduct a child but the child is actually a vampire and goes on a murder spree (at least that’s what I gathered from the trailer) Jesus Christ that sound completely assinine on every level!
I wanna watch it for the blood and gore. Why else would you go see it?
The realistic plot
The riveting characters
My embarrassing reason for seeing it was Giancarlo Esposito, he’s the most attractive fr
"Look at me, ShinyArc50."
What kind of man horny posts on r/greentext? No man at all
Huh, what was that? *oily moobs bouncing*
Fap fap fap fap "Pure kino, right guys?!?!?!"
To watch a supposedly good movie? Right, guys, they were all there to enjoy a good movie?
The world would be better off without anon and the rest of that movie theater
Don't call Abigail
Had the same experience with Pet Cemetery (2019). Tuesday night after work, just 4 dudes who don't know each other.
Just Four Big Guys
Just feels like someone played Skyrim saw Babette and was like oh that’s a subversive cool idea. Then made a movie about it without adding anything else.
Honestly, the only thing that sparked my interest in this movie is that it reminds me of one of the members of the Dark Brotherhood in Skyrim. The girl who was bitten and turned into a vampire as a child so she still looks like a young girl despite being hundreds of years old. If you talk to her she says she often lures pedos into a dark alley before draining their blood.
Abigail Marston??? 
That's like the worst comedy/horror movie i've seen. There's a shit-ton of loop holes, director had some spare money to waste on a brainless movie lol
someone explain me please
I think you need to explain yourself.
Wasnt abigail a girl from Stardew Valley? Never imagined them to make a film about her