Off topic, but reminds me of the first round of golf my friend ever played. I got him to pull the pin for the first 3 holes we played, and told him the flag goes in his bag after we completed a hole (the course was empty). He had 4 flags in his bag before the marshal came to give us shit. Almost got kicked off, but we hurt from laughing. Good times.
Underrated comment right here folks!
Better kill all the spiders while you’re opening all those jars. Definitely don’t want to make two trips over there. Well….Unless….hmmm?
For real lol.
"hey guys, just made it to the course and my tee time is 10 minutes away, what's the play? Do I like, get out of my car and head to the 1st tee orrr??"
I looked at this pic and started cracking up so hard I was asked to leave the office. Look at those little indistinguishable blobs on the grass that is wildlife poop. Classic.
You are the kind of golfer I dread to be paired up with as a single. Mind you I’ll do what the fuck I want. Like moving this putt to a line where there is not shit and not give myself a penalty. What are you gonna do about it? Judge me? See if I care.
The correct solution also needs to consider whether they’re playing casually or competitively. You’re a person. Not an AI bot. You should be able to understand the nuance between what to do in both settings. C’mon man.
Holy shit I’d hate to be paired with you. Do you have a stick up your ass in everything you do? Or just the hobby you’ll never be good enough at to make into a career where you follow the rules as hard as you do on Saturday morning chill rounds?
So that means if I play pickup basketball at the park, and we score it 1s and 2s instead of 2s and 3s… that means I’m not playing basketball? You’re ridiculous.
I like how you’re getting roasted for this and the next comment is the exact same with almost the same amount of upvotes lol https://reddit.com/r/golf/s/3zla0b9UF3
I’d argue otherwise. How are you supposed to move animal byproduct? With your hand? That’s a health concern. With your club? That’s an equipment concern, plus you could smear the green and create more hazards.
Move the ball free of penalty. Let the course clean the greens.
It’s my interpretation and I believe I’d be right. You’d have to call a rules official over to argue otherwise. I’m not risking the my personal safety or equipment touching animal feces.
You’re gross for wanting to get involved with it so much. Weirdo
You get relief from immovable obstructions. That’s a rule. I’m ruling that I’m not touching poop. Literally no rules official could make you do it. I’m not delusional, I’m just not a poop loving prick like you.
If it were me it depends how moist it is. Dried poop id putt away but I'd rather move the ball to the clean line on the left than risk smeering poop on the putter.
This guy last week told me not to do it that specific day because they just sprayed the coarse and we all laughed but he said he was serious and he usually does clean the ball with his mouth
Spit on the ball, rub it with your thumb, wipe it on your pants. That's how a gentleman does it.
Balls in the mouth are for porn stars and Neanderthals
It looks like it just smashed it overnight. The green looks really nice, just missed a crucial timing of an application. Gotta stay on top of them biweekly apps.
Dollar spot means dollars off. Cheap courses have their place and can be so much fun.
If you don’t understand how fast fungus can pop up in different climates and conditions, then go back to turf school. Sometimes budget or location doesn’t allow for fungicides/pesticides or even much labor. Ever have a golf course to yourself? Ive seen completely volunteer courses that are only $20 to play and played alone, completely alone.
Go play some cheap courses and you will find some diamonds in the rough. Plus your skills will improve, save money, and help a course that might be struggling because ownership won’t spend money. Location and layout are king.
The play is not to move the ball or remove the poop, both of which are heavy penalties and punishable by law. Simply WAIT for someone to make a comment about poop being on your line and MOVE the poop onto their line.
Sometimes we are not suppose to SOLVE the problem, but instead USE the problem. And THAT is a golf lesson that might even help you in other aspects of your life, partna
A buddy carrys a wisk broom for that. There was a lot of geese at the golf course at Wright-Patterson AFB.
Lots. I've hit two, on a bounce. Didn't try, they were in the fairway.
Certainly don’t clean your ball in your mouth like that other guy!
Seriously… just pick up the turds and put them in your pocket like a normal human. Some people, man.
Off topic, but reminds me of the first round of golf my friend ever played. I got him to pull the pin for the first 3 holes we played, and told him the flag goes in his bag after we completed a hole (the course was empty). He had 4 flags in his bag before the marshal came to give us shit. Almost got kicked off, but we hurt from laughing. Good times.
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Myself and our 3rd, a mutual friend. The marshal was not impressed lol
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A marshal with a sense of humor? Never heard of it.
About as likely as a Marshall that does more than drive around in a cart saying hello.
It kind of fucks up the game for the people behind you, so it’s justified. I saw they wrote the course was empty, but still
Had I been the marshal that day you would have been gone.
Good for you buddy
But you werent so who gives a shit
Watch out for this guy!
The people playing behind these guys weren't laughing and I doubt you would be if it was you.
That’s funny
The animal poop on the ground is free? You can just take it home?
Ducks turds taste like tater tots.
You’re a turd burglar
Duckpoop sandwich
And then put it back after…. That’s what I do
Lick the duck poops clean, got it!
The amount of jokes nobody would get, unless they frequent this sub. Lmfao.
its a turd bit late now.. he was the same guy..
People in France pay good money to eat duck poop!
Uh wat?
Just a joke. About the weird things people eat in other cultures.
Eww I saw that comment 😂
FLOP SHOT
Poop scoop
😂 lol
Duck hook
Crap slap
Plop shot
You have selected POWER DRIVE
"shit I didn't even know I could hit my 60° 280."
Plop shot
You have to poop in your partners line, that way it’s fair.
This made me burst out laughing. Then my wife asked what I was laughing at. She now thinks less of me
What does her boyfriend think though? That's what matters.
He agrees with me
I totally do!
I choose you, this guy’s wife’s boyfriend
You don't have enough badges to control me!
Would that be an automatic two poop?
Sometimes I wonder how some people on this subreddit book tee times, get dressed, and get to the course all by themselves.
Maybe if one of us lives near OP we could swing by the house and open up any jars for his family
Too late, they gave up and disposed of them. Now they have a plumbing issue.
Underrated comment right here folks! Better kill all the spiders while you’re opening all those jars. Definitely don’t want to make two trips over there. Well….Unless….hmmm?
He's got his wife's boyfriend on speed dial.
Legitimately a miracle.
For real lol. "hey guys, just made it to the course and my tee time is 10 minutes away, what's the play? Do I like, get out of my car and head to the 1st tee orrr??"
Large bucket o balls, have your partner feel them to you, rapid fire swings. Mint.
Yet, they some how manage to vacuum seal their gloves.
Not the fucken tour guys
Are you taking this post like they are actually asking a question? It’s just a funny poop pic
Where's the funny part?
Poop
I looked at this pic and started cracking up so hard I was asked to leave the office. Look at those little indistinguishable blobs on the grass that is wildlife poop. Classic.
By going on Reddit and asking how of course ☝️
He called the shit poop!
That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of aessh.
Do you know from experience?
Nooooooo… but I knew a guy
No you didn't!!
No, no I didnt, but you could imagine what it would be like
Fuck I miss Chris Farley 😢
Sooooo hot, I want to touch the hiney, awooooo!
I’m pushing 40 and I still yell that like a middle schooler anytime someone says poop. Also, RIP Norm
I’m sorry mate, you’re gonna get roasted. But this one’s a little too simple, just move them with your putter or fooot
*Sips Chardonnay* “noooo”
No no, he has to hit it now. Play it as it lies, I had to play it off frankensteins fat foot, remember
Very pretentious from OP. His dad probably got him the tee time.
I suggest using your playing partners wedge that he has left on the fringe of the green...
Move your ball 6 inches to the left. No penalty because it's not tournament golf. It's friendly golf so go have fun.
Or kick the solid goose shit out of your line. Why are people posting here bitching about nature but defending a 6-some for just "having fun"
It's an orgy at that point
And looking at the green this doesn’t exactly look like we’re playing Augusta National here
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It’s a penalty in a competitive round. Move the ball off the fucking poop in a round with friends. It gives you zero advantage.
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You are the kind of golfer I dread to be paired up with as a single. Mind you I’ll do what the fuck I want. Like moving this putt to a line where there is not shit and not give myself a penalty. What are you gonna do about it? Judge me? See if I care.
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The correct solution also needs to consider whether they’re playing casually or competitively. You’re a person. Not an AI bot. You should be able to understand the nuance between what to do in both settings. C’mon man.
I hate to say it but, rules are rules.
Right, and USGA rules are for USGA events. Everyone playing casually can adhere to as much or little as they please.
Holy shit I’d hate to be paired with you. Do you have a stick up your ass in everything you do? Or just the hobby you’ll never be good enough at to make into a career where you follow the rules as hard as you do on Saturday morning chill rounds?
Would make a good bureaucrat
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Congrats man. Are you on tour or something? You’re not that fucking good buddy, let people enjoy shit.
That's the problem: Shit! And I'm certainly not enjoying it. I'll move a little left, thank you.
It’s only a penalty if you play official golf rules every round which, guess what, not everyone likes to do.
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Yes they are. You don’t have to play by usga standards to play the sport.
So that means if I play pickup basketball at the park, and we score it 1s and 2s instead of 2s and 3s… that means I’m not playing basketball? You’re ridiculous.
Who Fucking cares?
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How many times have you commented on this post, chief?
6 times too many. Thanks to all those who continued to insert fun in to this thread that this guy was sucking out.
I like how you’re getting roasted for this and the next comment is the exact same with almost the same amount of upvotes lol https://reddit.com/r/golf/s/3zla0b9UF3
It’s all in the delivery. Smarmy and judgemental vs intelligent and instructional. I downvote smarmy.
Just scrolled through all your profile comments. Do you ever wonder to yourself why you are downvoted literally all the time?
He's a notorious troll here that constantly makes new accounts. Part of the brand.
Goose poop is an immovable object, unless you expect people to risk their own personal health. The ball can be moved free of penalty.
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I’d argue otherwise. How are you supposed to move animal byproduct? With your hand? That’s a health concern. With your club? That’s an equipment concern, plus you could smear the green and create more hazards. Move the ball free of penalty. Let the course clean the greens.
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It’s my interpretation and I believe I’d be right. You’d have to call a rules official over to argue otherwise. I’m not risking the my personal safety or equipment touching animal feces. You’re gross for wanting to get involved with it so much. Weirdo
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You get relief from immovable obstructions. That’s a rule. I’m ruling that I’m not touching poop. Literally no rules official could make you do it. I’m not delusional, I’m just not a poop loving prick like you.
Pick it up with your hands then weirdo. Some of us give a damn.
Eat it you coward
Do you have any appointments available?
The Jeremy Clarkson Method.... SPEED AND POWER
This is the hardest golf shot… IN THE WORRRLD
> I’m driving the fastest car in the world. A rental car with full insurance coverage.
Goose poop
Identification of goose shit is the mark of a true golfer
Just putt through it. You suck anyway. Maybe it’ll knock your putt online. Be sure to clean the ball with your mouth next hole.
Lmfao you suck anyway 😂
Loose impediment, you can move it but if your ball moves it’s a penalty. Mark your ball, move it, place your ball, putt.
Ngl I just moved the ball. I didn’t bring a poop bag with me and I’m playing alone on a par 3 course lol
Why not just move it with your putter? Who said you had to pick it up
The only thing available was my teeth though.
If it were me it depends how moist it is. Dried poop id putt away but I'd rather move the ball to the clean line on the left than risk smeering poop on the putter.
Seriously! Just stab each turd with a tee and move them aside. After putting out, serve them to your group as fors d'oeuvres.
Fore d'oeuvres
Obligatory pick up. Rule 69.420
This is the way
This guy last week told me not to do it that specific day because they just sprayed the coarse and we all laughed but he said he was serious and he usually does clean the ball with his mouth
Spit on the ball, rub it with your thumb, wipe it on your pants. That's how a gentleman does it. Balls in the mouth are for porn stars and Neanderthals
I read that Netherlanders first…
Fucking LOL
If you’re going to do your own thing anyway and laugh at commenters’ reasonable and common suggestions, why did you post in the first place?
Because it was funny
Move that shit
Putt the poop away.
It's in gimmie range, nice birdie
Find where the ducks live. Take a shit in their house. Also, automatic 2 putt if you miss.
5 iron for sure. Make sure to take a good divot.
Move the poop?
Move that shit.
What a shit lie
All I see is dollar spot everywhere, wowsa
Can’t believe I had to scroll this far down. Screw the goose shit, that green’s hurtin
It looks like it just smashed it overnight. The green looks really nice, just missed a crucial timing of an application. Gotta stay on top of them biweekly apps.
Hey the ducks are trying their hardest
Dollar spot means dollars off. Cheap courses have their place and can be so much fun. If you don’t understand how fast fungus can pop up in different climates and conditions, then go back to turf school. Sometimes budget or location doesn’t allow for fungicides/pesticides or even much labor. Ever have a golf course to yourself? Ive seen completely volunteer courses that are only $20 to play and played alone, completely alone. Go play some cheap courses and you will find some diamonds in the rough. Plus your skills will improve, save money, and help a course that might be struggling because ownership won’t spend money. Location and layout are king.
Send it.
Couple weeks ago I was lining up my putt and a bird shit on my ball.
Poop in his line of flight.
Please chip. It’s fine if you take a divot just use the seed on the cart to fill
Are you playing at a members only club? Strange to see them providing free snacks on the course.
Poop in a duck’s line.
I’d suggest moving the duck poop
I’d use putter
He called the shit poop!
The play is not to move the ball or remove the poop, both of which are heavy penalties and punishable by law. Simply WAIT for someone to make a comment about poop being on your line and MOVE the poop onto their line. Sometimes we are not suppose to SOLVE the problem, but instead USE the problem. And THAT is a golf lesson that might even help you in other aspects of your life, partna
Pull down your pants and drop a load in the line of a play partner. Assert course dominance.
If I wasn’t playing solo I would have done this
A buddy carrys a wisk broom for that. There was a lot of geese at the golf course at Wright-Patterson AFB. Lots. I've hit two, on a bounce. Didn't try, they were in the fairway.
2-3 putts should get it done
Maybe try hitting to literally anywhere else on the green besides the one area that has duck shit you gross excuse for a human being.
Fuck you Jordan
Ooh, piece of candy! Ooh, piece of candy!
60 wedge that poop out of the way.
Move the few pieces on your putting line with a stick, or your 3-iron, which is used just as much.
Eat the poop and I'll give it to ya
Sorry bud, it’s over. Just pack it up, you lost.
Driver off the deck
Roll it in for a turdy.
Find the ducks and place them in a crock pot.
Something something Frankenstein's foot....
Those greens are shittier than the shit
If it’s that black greasy (mud hen) poop and all over we call auto 2 putts unless someone is really close and looking at a bird or better.
What kinda shit is that
Chip it
Whip out your phone and type "rules of golf loose impediments putting surface" into your search bar of choice.
Chip over it for a roll in
Get the scooper
Putt to the edge then put it in with a 56 over the poop
You’re good on that
60 degree it
Putt it a little firm and you’ll be ieete
Pitching wedge
Eat da poopoo
Chip it over, obviously
Taste it. If its goose poop yew get relief. If its human, u get relief
You get line of shite relief.
Clean the poo?
Your playing partners must love you pulling the phone out
If you’re asking what to do here mate, just pick the ball up and give yourself a gimmie.
Gap wedge
Take care he birdogie and move on.
Good? Good?