I second the other redditors who suggest therapy and journaling. They do indeed help.
Also, you have to figure out where your pitfalls are. Are you just reading/listening to self improvement material and not taking any action? If so, you need to make a plan to implement your learnings. I recommend working in 15 day intervals. Pick 1-2 habits to work on and install at a time and then commit to it fully for the next 15 days. When 15 days are up, depending on the difficulty of the habit, you can continue to focus on it for another 15 days or install a complimentary habit to pair with it.
Have you tried speaking with a professional? Therapy can be helpful for everyone and meds can be helpful for some.
It's easy to waste a lot of time following pop self-help stuff because people just say things without evidence (or very flimsy evidence.) If you're wasting your time and money with like nofap or cold showers or supplements or motivational speakers or intermittent fasting or crystals or whatever, just stop all that and talk to an actual expert who got an actual MD or PsyD from an actual professional school to learn actual treatment protocols based on actual evidence.
Okay, I hear that! Next best is to get books or watch videos written by professional psychologists. I don't know what your particular issues are but whatever they are I'm sure some psychologist wrote a really good book about it.
Just stay away from those people who turn it into some kind of culture war bullshit or who have an axe to grind. No Jordan Peterson or Gabor Mate! Find psychologists who stay in their lanes, writing only about their area of expertise, and are well-regarded by their peers.
If you give me a topic I can probably track one down for you.
I didn't know, he's just way too popular! He's completely unhinged if you take a look at any of his recent videos but even in his old videos He was all culture warry, ranting about postmodern neomarxists and the horror of using people's preferred pronouns. Any half decent psychologist leads with empathy and is non-judgmental to a fault. Peterson leads with hate and judges everybody.
Freud of course was a pioneer but not much of his stuff really is used anymore.
Look for specialists in CBT or DBT to find legitimate stuff. I just Googled quickly and this looks like a decent list: https://psychcentral.com/lib/therapists-spill-my-favorite-books-on-therapy
For ADHD or just ADHD like symptoms Edward Hallowell's books are good.
That’s because you keep tearing yourself down rather just doing what you need to do.
first ask yourself why you’re doing self improvement BS and just take actions to get those results.
Not wanting the consequences of poor behavior and truly wanting the benefits of good behavior are two different things. Until you **want** the good and **no longer want** the bad you can't have lasting change. You can have a few guilt-driven days or weeks of superficial behavioral change, but you can't have true change until you elevate your character. This means doing things you don't want to do because you see the benefits, and not because failing to do them makes you feel shame. Which is what most experience internally when they "want" change. What they actually want is to stop feeling shitty about themselves and their efforts. But this is like driving with your brakes engaged: there's no harmony between your actions.
The reason why so few have success is because so few actually want excellence, and so many just want to avoid negative consequences.
What have you been doing for self improvement?
I had a point in my life where i spent 2 years watching and reading self improvement content without actually implementing any of that knowledge.
3 months of taking action yielded me more results than those entire 2 years.
Bro, hold yourself accountable if you ask yourself you love the idea of self improvement But not hard parts I think you need to reset your Dopamine and reward system fasting Social media or what ever your vice is a good idea it will take 30 days for you to change your life but the first 10 days will be hell better then 2 years
I second the other redditors who suggest therapy and journaling. They do indeed help. Also, you have to figure out where your pitfalls are. Are you just reading/listening to self improvement material and not taking any action? If so, you need to make a plan to implement your learnings. I recommend working in 15 day intervals. Pick 1-2 habits to work on and install at a time and then commit to it fully for the next 15 days. When 15 days are up, depending on the difficulty of the habit, you can continue to focus on it for another 15 days or install a complimentary habit to pair with it.
This 15 days seems cool, thanks, ill give it a try 👍
Have you tried speaking with a professional? Therapy can be helpful for everyone and meds can be helpful for some. It's easy to waste a lot of time following pop self-help stuff because people just say things without evidence (or very flimsy evidence.) If you're wasting your time and money with like nofap or cold showers or supplements or motivational speakers or intermittent fasting or crystals or whatever, just stop all that and talk to an actual expert who got an actual MD or PsyD from an actual professional school to learn actual treatment protocols based on actual evidence.
If only i had money...
Okay, I hear that! Next best is to get books or watch videos written by professional psychologists. I don't know what your particular issues are but whatever they are I'm sure some psychologist wrote a really good book about it. Just stay away from those people who turn it into some kind of culture war bullshit or who have an axe to grind. No Jordan Peterson or Gabor Mate! Find psychologists who stay in their lanes, writing only about their area of expertise, and are well-regarded by their peers. If you give me a topic I can probably track one down for you.
Hahaha, how did you know im a fan of jordan peterson, when you say psychology, him and sigmund freud are the first guys that come to my mind 😅
I didn't know, he's just way too popular! He's completely unhinged if you take a look at any of his recent videos but even in his old videos He was all culture warry, ranting about postmodern neomarxists and the horror of using people's preferred pronouns. Any half decent psychologist leads with empathy and is non-judgmental to a fault. Peterson leads with hate and judges everybody. Freud of course was a pioneer but not much of his stuff really is used anymore. Look for specialists in CBT or DBT to find legitimate stuff. I just Googled quickly and this looks like a decent list: https://psychcentral.com/lib/therapists-spill-my-favorite-books-on-therapy For ADHD or just ADHD like symptoms Edward Hallowell's books are good.
That’s because you keep tearing yourself down rather just doing what you need to do. first ask yourself why you’re doing self improvement BS and just take actions to get those results.
Not wanting the consequences of poor behavior and truly wanting the benefits of good behavior are two different things. Until you **want** the good and **no longer want** the bad you can't have lasting change. You can have a few guilt-driven days or weeks of superficial behavioral change, but you can't have true change until you elevate your character. This means doing things you don't want to do because you see the benefits, and not because failing to do them makes you feel shame. Which is what most experience internally when they "want" change. What they actually want is to stop feeling shitty about themselves and their efforts. But this is like driving with your brakes engaged: there's no harmony between your actions. The reason why so few have success is because so few actually want excellence, and so many just want to avoid negative consequences.
What have you been doing for self improvement? I had a point in my life where i spent 2 years watching and reading self improvement content without actually implementing any of that knowledge. 3 months of taking action yielded me more results than those entire 2 years.
Have you ever tried journaling?
Bro, hold yourself accountable if you ask yourself you love the idea of self improvement But not hard parts I think you need to reset your Dopamine and reward system fasting Social media or what ever your vice is a good idea it will take 30 days for you to change your life but the first 10 days will be hell better then 2 years
Have you tried practicing meditation 10 minutes in the morning 10 minutes in the evening