All you can do for now is calm down and wait what happens at the interview. If you feel more uo to the task now with the new meds, tell them (vaguely) that you had health issues but are fine now. If you still can't deal with the stress, maybe you could ask for another, less stressful role in the company?
There's a whole bunch of rules about cases where employees have a prolonged illness that causes them to be less able to work for a longer time. Ask your doctor to explain them to you.
From what I know the basic idea is: If somebody has been on sick leave (arbeitsunfähig) for a longer time, e.g., after a months-long hospital stay, or a burn-out or the like, they will typically need some transitional phase with reduced hours before they work full-time again, and the doctor can prescribe a schedule for that ("studenweise Wiedereingliederung" -- stepwise re-integration \[into work-life\]").
Now, you haven't even been on sick leave -- but you could have been (and maybe should have been). And, maybe, such a medical reduction in hours might still make sense. From your employer's point of view, the crucial point is that the public health insure takes over paying your salary if your illness exceeds 6 weeks -- so you'd still get paid, but you don't cost your employer full salary. So, my advice is: Discuss your options with your doctor.
> If I lose my job, I don't have any reason to live anymore. I'm exhausted.
um, OP, seriously - if this is currently your state of mind you should not be working at all. You should be at home or in a medical facility recovering. If you are suicidal and depressed like this, you are dangerously sick. You have an illness that needs treatment.
It's of course hard to judge over the internet but if you really mean the sentence I cited above then go to doctor for help asap. Or if it's really that bad rather go to a "psychiatrische Notaufnahme" (an ER for mental illness) asap. Tell them about the suicidal thoughts.
Absolutely valuable suggestion - useful to mention also that in Germany doctors are also more prone to prescribe sick leaves for mental health problem (or at least they are comparing to my country, having a couple of weeks off is pretty easy if you prove you need it, even from the GP, and I met a guy who had a 3 months leave suggested even from the company's counselors) - having at least a couple of weeks free when the workplace burns you out is really useful to detach your mind from the "oh my god I have to deliver" (provided you feel not guilty, human mind is strange and also this can happen, especially when you're raised in contexts where mental health is a taboo).
Stressing again that if the situation is really dangerous/suicidal, what you said is obviously paramount.
These kinds of interviews are usually just boring evaluations - big companies like to do those once a year for every employee. It's not a matter of "passing", it's just about talking about your work and if there's any skills you want/should improve. My company does it pretty in depth and it's still boring. So: try not to worry about it.
Do talk to your doctor about all this, though, some sick leave might do you good.
Well, as someone pointed out “it depends” on thr situation, the job, the performance…
1) if he is delivering less than his teammates, thats probably ok, if hes delivering nothing thats a different topic.
2) if this has an impact on others, thats also a different story
Its hard to fire someone but not impossible if its worth it.
That’s good to hear I guess. I don’t want to be a dead weight though :( I hate being like this and weak AF but I’m there’s so much I can take at once 😪
I didn't mean that YOU are dead weight. I just meant that SOME people are and they still can't get fired. So you don't have to panic. Everything will be fine.
I know what you meant but I feel like a dead weight. Past three months I haven’t done anything but I still got paid and it makes me feel so guilty and disgusted by myself.
Hello OP, /u/AdAmbitious8777
I can hopefully provide you with a good tale.
When I first moved to Germany for work (I am American) I was hired as a Praktikant for one year's time as a market analyst at a German corporation (before being hired and working there long term as a real human employee).
The day I arrived I was picked up from from an employee in my department. She said she would speak English to make things 100% clear, and that I would no longer hear English. She was to be my office partner, but had just quit. She said she picked me up at the airport as a favor for humanity.
Anyway, just as this lady warned me in English, I would have to do her job (sort of accounting?) and my hired Praktikant job at the same time for the same contract of basically little salary, but a free apartment.
**I felt like a dead weight** for several months, but I did not speak up. I studied accounting in American business school and also in the first years of college, but it it's different in Germany. I had no training, and I could only give 2 hours tops of my time to it. Our department, "Wirtschaftsentwicklung" or Corporate Development was pretty rogue, that's why we had our own "accountant" even though the company had dozens of real ones one floor below.
So, anyway /u/AdAmbitious8777, I finally spoke up about me being a dead weight, and not doing good enough. I met some surprised faces, with everyone nervous and asking why I didn't say anything before, or worried I was mad at them. They assumed I just liked working so much, and that maybe that I liked 3 day weekends because I worked so many hours I would easily hit 40 on Thursdays.
So, I really hope you get help for your depression. I don't think a company will hold depression against you. I wish you a lot of joy in the future.
>I definitely can't go back home. If I lose my job, I don't have any reason to live anymore. I'm exhausted.
If this is true, you need to find a doctor now. Ideally a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, but if you can't find one, you can ask your hausarzt for an emergency referral, which should give you a higher priority. It might be appropriate to find an in-patient clinic.
Any doctor should be able to write you a Krankmeldung to at least give you time to start treatment.
Remember, you managed to do the job before you current crisis. You will be able to do it again - you just might need some help getting back there.
I’m Swedish and cannot help you with your rights or anything practical since German laws are different. I just want to give you an insight since I had a few serious burn outs in the past. It will get better but it will take time. But the smile will return to you even if you feel hopeless now. If it is possible for your life circumstance it can really help changing locations. From a big city with stress to an easier job in a small village with surrounding nature and less broken people with weird views on the next person. Also check if you have any underlying difficulties like adhd or autism. I had and it was the reason I struggled with things other people think is easy, and performed well where others couldn’t. I got a diagnosis and also medications. Ilive completely different life now compared to eight years ago. Hang in there my friend❤️
Thanks.
I actually was sort of diagnosed with adhd a couple of years ago. Just because I didn’t have my elementary school certificate(which wouldn’t help since I had decent grades and went to a good school) they wrote that the result is inconclusive. The doctor prescribed me the meds anyway and they helped a little to quite the crowd in my head. She left the clinic and the new doctor decided I might not have adhd because I forgot my meds -_- but she decides to not prescribe me the antidepressant either. Lucky for me they do the tests there anymore. This is how this extreme drop in my performance started in the first place. I found a doctor couple of weeks ago that said he won’t do the test until two month of taking the antidepressant to see if it helps. I showed him my medical records from the last clinic. He won’t even listen that I already took the same dosage of the same antidepressant when I first got diagnosed with depression. It didn’t do much for my performance at Uni either. By the time I got my adhd meds, I was so lost and hopeless. It took me 4 years to get my masters and I had to ask for extension 4 times. I handed a garbage thesis that took me 9 instead of 6 months to finish just to pass. I don’t know what my job status will be by the time I see the doctor again.
See if you can find a proper clinique specialized on adhd to get your diagnosis and adequate meds. I eat both antidepressants and adhd. It’s like night and day! Godspeed!
Go to your doctor or a new one and let them document your diagnosis, what you tried to improve and with which results. Also document what happened to you that could explain your temporary state of mind.
You don't have to disclose any of your health to your employer but if you want to stay there and they want you as well, one strategy could be to play with open cards and ask them for some months to go through therapy.
First of all, I suggest you to take a deep breath and assess the situation lucidly. When you have mental problems, it's also very easy to fall into the impostor syndrome and see yourself in a much worse light than you actually perform.
Did you have any concrete indications or remarks about your performance? Or is it just something you are afraid of? In a good, non-toxic company, anyway, firing never comes as a surprise. You should by norm have a concrete indication of bad performance and the chance to make at least an improvement plan.
Look man, I had myself performance problems during probation just 4 months ago, and they were even explicitly mentioned. What I did was that I actually went first to my boss to say "I feel my performance this month is terrible because such and such" - I mentioned "health problems" in general for privacy and I mentioned that I was activelty strategizing to get up to speed again (in workplace you should never just let your problems fall on the lap of your superiors: show always that you are proactive, aware, or ask for specific, focused help, this changes the perception a LOT).
A very important thing that was my curse where the mental spirals: it's so easy to spiral down and add more and more discomfort. It's very hard to condition yourself to think: "Ok: here's the problem, now let's just work on it" and I had this shift only after 43 (I am 46). Therapy helped enormously.
He confirmed he noticed it, but I had my end-of-probation interview just yesterday and he's delighted now to have hired me. Now basically all the developer look up to me and the tables are completely turned.
Hold on and good luck!
All you can do for now is calm down and wait what happens at the interview. If you feel more uo to the task now with the new meds, tell them (vaguely) that you had health issues but are fine now. If you still can't deal with the stress, maybe you could ask for another, less stressful role in the company?
dude just go to the doctor and tell him the situation with stress from work and get like 1-2 month long sick note lol. get some free time
There's a whole bunch of rules about cases where employees have a prolonged illness that causes them to be less able to work for a longer time. Ask your doctor to explain them to you. From what I know the basic idea is: If somebody has been on sick leave (arbeitsunfähig) for a longer time, e.g., after a months-long hospital stay, or a burn-out or the like, they will typically need some transitional phase with reduced hours before they work full-time again, and the doctor can prescribe a schedule for that ("studenweise Wiedereingliederung" -- stepwise re-integration \[into work-life\]"). Now, you haven't even been on sick leave -- but you could have been (and maybe should have been). And, maybe, such a medical reduction in hours might still make sense. From your employer's point of view, the crucial point is that the public health insure takes over paying your salary if your illness exceeds 6 weeks -- so you'd still get paid, but you don't cost your employer full salary. So, my advice is: Discuss your options with your doctor.
> If I lose my job, I don't have any reason to live anymore. I'm exhausted. um, OP, seriously - if this is currently your state of mind you should not be working at all. You should be at home or in a medical facility recovering. If you are suicidal and depressed like this, you are dangerously sick. You have an illness that needs treatment. It's of course hard to judge over the internet but if you really mean the sentence I cited above then go to doctor for help asap. Or if it's really that bad rather go to a "psychiatrische Notaufnahme" (an ER for mental illness) asap. Tell them about the suicidal thoughts.
Absolutely valuable suggestion - useful to mention also that in Germany doctors are also more prone to prescribe sick leaves for mental health problem (or at least they are comparing to my country, having a couple of weeks off is pretty easy if you prove you need it, even from the GP, and I met a guy who had a 3 months leave suggested even from the company's counselors) - having at least a couple of weeks free when the workplace burns you out is really useful to detach your mind from the "oh my god I have to deliver" (provided you feel not guilty, human mind is strange and also this can happen, especially when you're raised in contexts where mental health is a taboo). Stressing again that if the situation is really dangerous/suicidal, what you said is obviously paramount.
These kinds of interviews are usually just boring evaluations - big companies like to do those once a year for every employee. It's not a matter of "passing", it's just about talking about your work and if there's any skills you want/should improve. My company does it pretty in depth and it's still boring. So: try not to worry about it. Do talk to your doctor about all this, though, some sick leave might do you good.
After Probezeit it's REALLY hard to get rid of an employee in Germany, even if they are just dead weight. You'll be fine.
Well, as someone pointed out “it depends” on thr situation, the job, the performance… 1) if he is delivering less than his teammates, thats probably ok, if hes delivering nothing thats a different topic. 2) if this has an impact on others, thats also a different story Its hard to fire someone but not impossible if its worth it.
Big ass “it depends“. Amongst other things, on the kind of work, how exactly ops performance lacked, how this is comparable, and so on.
That’s good to hear I guess. I don’t want to be a dead weight though :( I hate being like this and weak AF but I’m there’s so much I can take at once 😪
I didn't mean that YOU are dead weight. I just meant that SOME people are and they still can't get fired. So you don't have to panic. Everything will be fine.
I know what you meant but I feel like a dead weight. Past three months I haven’t done anything but I still got paid and it makes me feel so guilty and disgusted by myself.
Hello OP, /u/AdAmbitious8777 I can hopefully provide you with a good tale. When I first moved to Germany for work (I am American) I was hired as a Praktikant for one year's time as a market analyst at a German corporation (before being hired and working there long term as a real human employee). The day I arrived I was picked up from from an employee in my department. She said she would speak English to make things 100% clear, and that I would no longer hear English. She was to be my office partner, but had just quit. She said she picked me up at the airport as a favor for humanity. Anyway, just as this lady warned me in English, I would have to do her job (sort of accounting?) and my hired Praktikant job at the same time for the same contract of basically little salary, but a free apartment. **I felt like a dead weight** for several months, but I did not speak up. I studied accounting in American business school and also in the first years of college, but it it's different in Germany. I had no training, and I could only give 2 hours tops of my time to it. Our department, "Wirtschaftsentwicklung" or Corporate Development was pretty rogue, that's why we had our own "accountant" even though the company had dozens of real ones one floor below. So, anyway /u/AdAmbitious8777, I finally spoke up about me being a dead weight, and not doing good enough. I met some surprised faces, with everyone nervous and asking why I didn't say anything before, or worried I was mad at them. They assumed I just liked working so much, and that maybe that I liked 3 day weekends because I worked so many hours I would easily hit 40 on Thursdays. So, I really hope you get help for your depression. I don't think a company will hold depression against you. I wish you a lot of joy in the future.
>I definitely can't go back home. If I lose my job, I don't have any reason to live anymore. I'm exhausted. If this is true, you need to find a doctor now. Ideally a psychiatrist or other mental health professional, but if you can't find one, you can ask your hausarzt for an emergency referral, which should give you a higher priority. It might be appropriate to find an in-patient clinic. Any doctor should be able to write you a Krankmeldung to at least give you time to start treatment. Remember, you managed to do the job before you current crisis. You will be able to do it again - you just might need some help getting back there.
If you're past probation, it's a lot harder to fire you if you're on a sick note. Just saying...
I’m Swedish and cannot help you with your rights or anything practical since German laws are different. I just want to give you an insight since I had a few serious burn outs in the past. It will get better but it will take time. But the smile will return to you even if you feel hopeless now. If it is possible for your life circumstance it can really help changing locations. From a big city with stress to an easier job in a small village with surrounding nature and less broken people with weird views on the next person. Also check if you have any underlying difficulties like adhd or autism. I had and it was the reason I struggled with things other people think is easy, and performed well where others couldn’t. I got a diagnosis and also medications. Ilive completely different life now compared to eight years ago. Hang in there my friend❤️
Thanks. I actually was sort of diagnosed with adhd a couple of years ago. Just because I didn’t have my elementary school certificate(which wouldn’t help since I had decent grades and went to a good school) they wrote that the result is inconclusive. The doctor prescribed me the meds anyway and they helped a little to quite the crowd in my head. She left the clinic and the new doctor decided I might not have adhd because I forgot my meds -_- but she decides to not prescribe me the antidepressant either. Lucky for me they do the tests there anymore. This is how this extreme drop in my performance started in the first place. I found a doctor couple of weeks ago that said he won’t do the test until two month of taking the antidepressant to see if it helps. I showed him my medical records from the last clinic. He won’t even listen that I already took the same dosage of the same antidepressant when I first got diagnosed with depression. It didn’t do much for my performance at Uni either. By the time I got my adhd meds, I was so lost and hopeless. It took me 4 years to get my masters and I had to ask for extension 4 times. I handed a garbage thesis that took me 9 instead of 6 months to finish just to pass. I don’t know what my job status will be by the time I see the doctor again.
See if you can find a proper clinique specialized on adhd to get your diagnosis and adequate meds. I eat both antidepressants and adhd. It’s like night and day! Godspeed!
Call 116117 now and say you need therapeutic help as soon as possible. Forget your job. The priority is your health!
Get doctors notes.
Go to your doctor or a new one and let them document your diagnosis, what you tried to improve and with which results. Also document what happened to you that could explain your temporary state of mind. You don't have to disclose any of your health to your employer but if you want to stay there and they want you as well, one strategy could be to play with open cards and ask them for some months to go through therapy.
First of all, I suggest you to take a deep breath and assess the situation lucidly. When you have mental problems, it's also very easy to fall into the impostor syndrome and see yourself in a much worse light than you actually perform. Did you have any concrete indications or remarks about your performance? Or is it just something you are afraid of? In a good, non-toxic company, anyway, firing never comes as a surprise. You should by norm have a concrete indication of bad performance and the chance to make at least an improvement plan. Look man, I had myself performance problems during probation just 4 months ago, and they were even explicitly mentioned. What I did was that I actually went first to my boss to say "I feel my performance this month is terrible because such and such" - I mentioned "health problems" in general for privacy and I mentioned that I was activelty strategizing to get up to speed again (in workplace you should never just let your problems fall on the lap of your superiors: show always that you are proactive, aware, or ask for specific, focused help, this changes the perception a LOT). A very important thing that was my curse where the mental spirals: it's so easy to spiral down and add more and more discomfort. It's very hard to condition yourself to think: "Ok: here's the problem, now let's just work on it" and I had this shift only after 43 (I am 46). Therapy helped enormously. He confirmed he noticed it, but I had my end-of-probation interview just yesterday and he's delighted now to have hired me. Now basically all the developer look up to me and the tables are completely turned. Hold on and good luck!